March 5, 2026 • 25 mins
Mercedes “MJ” is opening up about how she’s navigating life since filing for divorce. Did filming her show “The Valley: Persian Style” contribute to her divorce?
She’s telling Kelly her honest feelings about dating again and how she’s been coping with single life.
Plus, would MJ make an iconic return to “The Traitors”??
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hey, I do Part two.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's Kelly Klaren Bensimon, one of your celebrity mentors, and
today I'm catching up with one of the stars from
The Valley Persian Style.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
So she's been stuck in the middle of a lot
of conflict.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
On the show this season, and now she's going through
a divorce. I can't wait to catch up with her
and see how she's coming through this difficult situation.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Please help me. Welcome Mercedes MJ to the pot.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hi, Hori, Kelly, it's good to see you.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I know, it's so good to see you. I know
that you've been going through a lot, but I want to.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Tell you your show was fantastic and you are a baller.
I'm so proud of you with you know, changing your narrative,
raising your son, you know, everything you've been through with
your ex house. We're going to get into that, the
real estate business. You've been doing so well. I am
so proud of you on all fronts. Let's get started. Okay,
So this season's been We've been seeing a lot of
(01:11):
things playing out between you and your soon to be
ex husband Tommy and attention with you guys, you caught
in the middle.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
What was that like for.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
You, it's very hard because you know, we're doing it
with this big cast of friends and instead of six
people who are now twelve. I find a lot of
the episodes to be hard to watch. The scenes between
Tommy and I, I close my eyes, I turn it off.
I just you know, I was with him for ten years,
(01:40):
married seven, very in love, with no intention of following
the footsteps of a divorced family, same age as when
my son, as my son is is when my parents
got separated. It's the worst thing ever, and I hate
it and I never really got any closure with Tommy.
(02:02):
So we're just a married couple going through communication breakdowns
and then, like you always want to have a healthy
conversation to follow up things, and that's how it feels
when you don't get to do that.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I really like what you just said about communication breakdowns,
and I think that that is such a big, big,
big thing that happens in relationships, especially guy. You guys
have been together for so long and you've been through
so much together. It's just obviously wildly serendipitous that this
happened at the same time as you know your parents.
So I'm so sorry for that, so this season your
(02:37):
ex Tommy, he was involved in filming the show less
than when you guys were on shows of Sunset? Was
that an effort to save your marriage? Did you just
not want to film?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
What was?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
What was?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
What happened?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I think he hadn't healed at all from the last
time that we were on TV. It was extremely heavy
on him because you know, we've just had our baby,
and then the falling out with Res it just made us.
It just gutted him. And then coming back. I think
he did want to do the show, but I don't
(03:09):
think he wanted to put himself vulnerable for like getting
you know, hurt again. I mean, he had to serve
time for even I think it was might have just
been for a day, to be honest, I don't know
if he had to go more than a day. It
was probation. Sorry, I don't mean to like spread false information,
but yeah, that's why he didn't. He's he's very fragile
(03:33):
when it comes to what am I going to do?
What's going to happen to me? I think I was
probably afraid too, because I didn't want to have another
falling out with Resa or Valanessa, so fear.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Again like another just compliment to you about just being
so thoughtful for him and his feelings and how that
was going to play out for him. You know, I
think you know I was going to ask you, did
the show contribute to your decision.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
To get divorced.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I saw you guys in two scenes that were really
like pop up scenes. Like the first scene was when
you guys were on the podcast and just like the
back and forth banter seemed difficult, but also you guys
were like in that conflict resolution mode, which I really
really loved. But then when I saw you guys at
(04:21):
the open house where Tommy wouldn't come in, and you're
at this open house, you're filming, You've got stress, you're
you know, you've got so many things going on.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You're trying to, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Show Maricio how great you are, because you are so great.
Your open house was amazing. No one comes from an
open house, by the way, so that was fantastic. There
was just a lot of variables, and I think you
handled that really well.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
But I could see at that moment he was just
like shutting down. What are your thoughts?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah, my thoughts are like, you want to be able
to feel love from your spouse, And if the neglect
and the isolation outweighs the love and the breakdown, then
it just doesn't make sense. If I would have thought
that Tommy was willing and open to like working things out,
(05:08):
then I wouldn't have had a reason to leave. He's
the one that ended the marriage, not me. He's the
one that stopped participating and checked out for years. It
had it had just come to a head, I just
had to file the paperwork. He was the one that
stopped being to me like so many things that he
was when we first met ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Wow, that's big. Usually it's the woman leaving the man.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I mean, it's very unusual that the man like checks
out and you know, the woman has to leave like that.
That is I'm so sorry. I mean, I just feel
like I just have so much empathy for you. Just
I feel like we have a lot of similarities in
our lives. I mean, I just know that for my
own self, I you know, broke up with a boyfriend
in December because I was going to be filming a
(05:57):
new show and I'm just.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Like I can't, you know, I just can't bring him along.
I'm afraid, you know. I mean, I've had.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I had two very very bad situations happen when I
was filming, and I just was like, I just can't
do this. And I'm just like honestly making me emotion
right now because like, you know, you do work really hard,
and I mean another moment that really like I can't
even tolerate.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
It was like you know, like, first of all.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Having someone pick up your child is one thing, but
like not showing up that really like and you just
kind of going back and figuring saying it was fifteen minutes,
it was forty five minutes. Like I could feel, I
could hear the pain in your voice, and I just
I just know. I know you're filming a show, but
there are moments for the listeners out there that are
so wildly real, and that was one of them.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Like because people are like, oh, you're so calm, You're
so calm, like and I was like, yeah, yeah, because
I have had to learn to be home. There were
years when I was reactive and I would cry and
I would beg and scream. There were years and you know,
so many Christmases and days and Mother's Days and things
like that where I was like, bro, like please don't
phone it in with me like I care too much
(07:06):
and I had my heart in my hand, and I
eventually had to harden and put on more of like
the brave face and be a healthy mom to your son.
And so I shoved everything that I had for Tommy
so that I could be positive. And then you know,
here we are.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
How's the co parenting going.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
The co parenting? We live a minute away, we see
each other, and we're both one hundred percent in with Shams.
He doesn't miss a beat and he gets the best
of both of us. And you know, it's that part
is really healthy.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Thank god, that is That's a huge blessing.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I never had a co parent, so I don't know.
I was like, this co parenting, I'm like, that sounds fantastic.
I had no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I raised my.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Kids on my own, and I have like that is
just something that like is just like, you know, foreign
language to me.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
I can't I even imagine that because when I'm working
and I have days that I come home from work
and I am spent, especially yes, especially at the end
of the day, I'm like, I am not capable of
cooking a meal. I you know, it's going to be pizza.
It's going to be like takeout and when when you
(08:18):
do have somebody, And Tommy is a very good father
and he's very present then and he's become more present
actually since we separated. So I am extremely grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I love that who on the cast has been the
most supportive during this process, everybody.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I mean, I'm not close with Sky right now, which
you know, I know that she feels like she's a
little bit on an island. But I'm really close with
and I feel a lot of love and his support
from Natasha and Amir and Reza and Golnessa and Tanny
and like, they're very, very real. And I've known we've
known Tanny and you know for fifteen years. She just
(09:00):
was one of those people that wasn't going to do
reality TV. And I know it's a huge risk. You
know that too, But yeah, they're they're amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
They are the whole cast is amazing. The dynamic is unbelievable,
and it's just to hear your storyline is just it's heartbreaking.
I mean it's just heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Have you thought about dating? Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
No, custom Mark, No, I am so actually I feel
so distrusted, distrusting of men. I have zero faith in men.
If this is what love is, then no, thank you.
I feel so It's been so long since I've been single.
(09:42):
I can't even imagine. I just feel like I will
die a celibate like lady. Maybe if I'm locky enough
to live to like I'm one hundred, you know, for
the kid, right, But no, I don't see it. I
don't see it being naked in front of of anybody ever.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Again, well, you look gorgeous, so do not do not
talk about don't talk like that because that's not fair.
And I've seen you on the show and you're gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
You put that makeup like you are.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
So this is a really good question.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
If you do get in a relationship, hypothetically, let's say
you started to date.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And you get into your relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Okay, how important is it for that new partner to
get along with your friends?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Yeah, it's important because look, people forget this falling out
with my husband and I was not because of you know,
him not partying. It's not like that. It's more of
like going to weddings by yourself. That shouldn't be a thing.
Wanting to play tennis and going on a hike and
just experience, like, let's go swim in our pool. We
(10:59):
have a beautiful which in California is you know, costs
a lot of money just to have a pool of
running water. It's a lot. Your husband be like, yeah,
I don't want to go swimming, I don't want to
go to the beach. I don't want to go to
this wedding all you baby, Like that was not fun.
So if I were hypothetically with somebody, they would have
(11:22):
to not just writ and bear it or hopefully I
didn't watch that statement, but that they really really just
think that grinn and bear that you really want to
see that as an adventure, like, hey, this wedding is
going to be so boring. Let's get trashed and have
the best time ever, like Bonnie and Clyde. Let's have fun.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
You just want to create memories. And I love that.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I mean, I had so I had that relationship with
my with my first and only husband, he was literally gone.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I'm the girls.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You know, I gave birth my first daughter and he
was gone, like literally came back like once a month.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
So you know, I am so I'm so used.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
To being with someone who's not around and all the
memory I was just looking at these memories because I
just sold my department them living in and I was
looking at all these memories of my girls.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
I'm says, they're all of me and the girls. It's
a party of three. I'm like, this is not what
I want. This is not my future.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
So I totally empathize with you. And you're right, like
you want to create these memories. You want to have
a photo album of like good, bad and ugly, like
you did it together exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
We went to my cousin's wedding. It was a destination wedding.
And when I came back and I looked at my
camera role, I was like, you dumb bitch, what are
you doing here?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I'm literally, you're gonna make me cry, Like I'm so,
I'm like, oh my god, I'm so.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I just I hate this. I hate this. So Okay,
you're you're.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
A fellow, you're you and you're and now there's a
new friend of yours, Britney cart Right. She's in she's
in the valley, she's a resident, and she's gone through
a similar experience. Are you guys talking, do you guys,
because you're both on similar shows.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Do you guys have any like connection?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Okay, so Michelle son I and Britney Carr right, and
I are definitely overdue for a lunch. I'm very funning
with the Rolls on the Valley and we do DM
and say like when are we gonna have lunch? And
you know, sunk right now. It's like, it's so painful
that I have to push myself to get out there
more because between working and then being with the baby,
(13:23):
you just want to you know, he's six, He's always
my baby. You want to be able to like this
that I'm doing here today for you is so new.
I want to literally carve myself back into my life
where I am not putting my hair on the top,
not for forty five days in a row. I literally
think from December to January, I might have left the
(13:45):
house in ways that people would be looking at me
going like is she okay? Like where it's not okay,
it's not okay. And you can't just you know, do
a slick phony to show up. You have to actually
feel it inside. So connecting with girl Brittany and checking
in with Michelle and having fun is so important. We
need to support and laugh at the you know, the craziness,
(14:09):
and you know, maybe she has some cheers. I haven't
cried yet.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I met Brittany at Swim Week at the oh SI Show,
and she is so much fun, Like she is literally
hilarious and we had such a good time. I think
that you'll like her also because she's very authentic like
you are.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
But she's also just fun doing to me. She's smiling
and she's just like I'm trying to get through things.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
And I think you guys should definitely if you have
the if you have the opportunity to do that, you should.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Guys should definitely hang out. She's great.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
I'm gonna literally message her right now.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
She's sunshine and she'll get you whether or not you
even meet.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
She's just got like a very sunny personal.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
No, like like we run into each other all the time.
We see together Michelle as well from her show. We
definitely have intention and should it's really just being on
that like that hamster wheel lifestyle where you're just like
busting your ass trying to get from point A to B.
That's not cool. That's not a way to live. We
have to change that. We will, right will.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
And speaking of your top knot and your burnout, What
are you going to do so that we slick the
hair back and we feel good?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Like, what do you? What do we? What are we
doing for for your self care?
Speaker 3 (15:28):
So I just did. I'm gonna tell you. I just
went to one of the moms from my school. She
was like, get your ass in here, I'm giving you
a signature facial. She laminated my brows. I went to
my friend's house. She did the hair. I have to
do the spray tand there's nothing that makes me feel
(15:49):
quite as good. I'm very fair right now, and I've
got like pounds of dark like you know, bronze on
so that I'm all about a steam room, red light therapy,
my f forty five for muscle tone, and I walk
my dog, you know. So I'm just committed to doing
(16:11):
more of that.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Do you know the red light therapy?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Honestly, I feel so like even just putting that mask
on for a couple of seconds, I'm just like, WHOA.
I mean, obviously there are had so many benefits, but
I know, even for myself, I'm very like, I'm very
light sensitive, and I'm just like when I get light, my.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Body goes yes, and then when I have no light,
it's like, well, yeah, well I do the thing I
subscribe to the wake up, open the door, let the
sun hit you, and get that vitamin D. You have
to actually be your skin meets the vitamin D. It's
not just your face and you want to protect your
face from sunspots. But yes, this is an eighty degree
(16:51):
day in La. By the way, we have no excuse,
so I just have to take more advantage of what
we have here, which I am.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
But I literally I had a when I after I
broke up with my my boyfriend, I literally had a
Carrie Bradshaw moment and I darkened my hair and I
was like inside it was like the semmer and I
was like, oh.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Oh this is this is my name. I mean, everything
is okay.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I am not like that though, by the way, I'm
always like okay, you know, maybe this isn't right, okay.
I mean granded never had anyone break up with me.
I've always been the one that's like no, no, no, no,
no no no, And this I was.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Just like no.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
But I was just like, oh, I've never like thought
about going back with someone, right, No.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
But I mean I know that you were when we
ran into each other at Jeff's at radio, you were
with somebody, and then when it ended, I was like, God,
I wish I should have reached out to you at
that time too, because I know it wasn't it wasn't
what you were expecting.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
That was awful.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Okay, So being this is not being on Europe, being
on our own, being on our own.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
You know, what's it been like for you? I mean,
what's I mean? I know that you've.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
You're doing some self careac your friends, you know, have
done so many nice things for you.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
But have you like made over your house? Have you
like done something different?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Is there anything that you've done for yourself that like
the you can help our listeners kind of go through,
you know, how to make themselves feel better, you know,
because you do look so great by the way, you
look really great.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Thank you. I you know, we moved out of the
house that we were married in. I moved into a
townhouse which was the polar opposite vibe, full of white light.
It was just like the place that I moved into
is so bright and high ceilings and everything that I'm
choosing to put in this new home is a very
(18:58):
conscious choice of and I there were things that I
just said, can't come in, they can't go with me.
So I purged probably eighty percent of what we had.
I only kept the things that felt one hundred and
if it didn't like belong, then I just said like
thank you and goodbye. Because I saw Lala Kent when
(19:21):
she separated from her marriage their engagement, and I saw
her put like every single piece back into her house
and I was like, that was that should be there, right,
and then goodbye to the out with the old, in
with the new. It's also a huge part of Persian
culture is symbolism and how things feel. And you know,
(19:43):
we've all heard of the Marie condo. So it's like
when you have to connect with your body, you have
to connect with your womanhood, you have to connect with
like the shower is an extra luxurious shower, Like I
would slather on everything that made me feel spoiled as
possible on a daily basis, like take time, extra extra time,
(20:04):
and that is you know, it's fun, it's fun. Plans.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I actually did that. I put on this like really
really nice lotion today.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
I was like, I feel like I deserve that's actually good.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Advice for your clients because you can say when they're
when they're you know, buying or selling, that you can
say that these are the things that you've done, and
this is something that people are always looking for to
They're looking for advice and how to like navigate that
next chapter of their lives. And so, I, you know,
I feel like that's just like such a good you know,
also takeaway. Before I let you go, I want to
(20:38):
ask you about the Traders because you were such a
superstar on.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
That show, Thank You.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Would you ever like want to go back or come back?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
I mean, is there everybody loved you on Traders?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Thank You? The first time is always the best time.
I love the experience. I felt like sleep away camp
but I never got to do when I was a kid.
But if I were to go back this time, I
would really be extra worried about spending time away from
my son. I've been hearing like maybe there will be
(21:10):
an All Stars. I think I would play the game
differently in some ways because it is getting like no disrespect,
but every season is evolving. There is like a very
high level of respect and decorum on the set of Traders,
Like with this overseas English production Company. They're not as
they don't have tolerance for anything vicious, so I you know,
(21:33):
never say no to the universe. But also like it was,
it was a very unique, intensely positive experience. I loved it.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I would go on Traders with you. We could be
like the two pieces in a pod.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
I'd be like, I'm very I'm very like fluffy bunny,
but then on the inside, I'm super strategic.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Right, It's true. And I don't know how you feel
about like crawling into dark holes. And you know, there
are a lot of like no, no me, Me and
Phedra Chary, even Kevin from Bling Empire, like none of
us were willing to go into a pitch black tunnel
that had like rats and worms. I don't know what
(22:20):
was in there. It was so slimy, and it smelled
like horse piss. It was at the horse.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
The horse piss.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I'm a usedup, but like and I'd bend in the catacombs,
which sounds very bougie in Europe, but I am now
there's certain I am so there are certain things I cannot.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
I can do anything.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
She can jump from She's like they're always like, you're
so sporty I'm like, just because I can run and
ride a horse and play a little tennis and hit
some golf balls, does not make me one to like,
you know, jump off the cliffs Like that's a no.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Oh, no, you would repel because we did the repelling
down the line. We did a lot of like physical things,
but no, you don't think you could repel. It was
the scariest thing. I have like very sensitive hands, so
I'd be like, and then you had to like not
look down. And then I never used the repel before.
I was like, look what happens if I just slide? No, dude,
there were a lot of things that were very challenging.
(23:14):
But if the I will give props major props to
Trishall and ct. They did the disgusting things that took
thirty minutes, like to get through the tunnel, Like give
that up to the challenge people. The Bravo people were
making it entertaining and the people were earning the dollars.
I guess the Bravo.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Paper are always like, oh my god, I'll talk about
exactly well.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
We love you so much and I support you. I
am here for you.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
I know this is not the easiest time in your life,
but you're doing such beautiful work for your family, for
your son, for the fans, for your business, for your
ex husband. I mean, you're wearing a lot of hats
and we're just like, we're here for you. And I'm
going to speak on behalf of all the fans.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
We love you.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I love you, Kelly. Thank you. I am going to
call you.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Yes, please do. I'm in la a lot. I would
love to see you, and I'm here for you.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
I know that it's not easy, but like I mean,
even like you know, I talked to Brittany about it,
and I've talked to some other you know, people you know,
Bravo friends, and you know, they're all like.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
What happened and how did you get through?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
It's like, all of a sudden, it was like a
badge of honor and now like people are like help me.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I'm like, I don't know, but we do. We love
you so much and we're here for you.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
If that's all one of the best things about us
being in this Bravo community. We have like this family
family with each other. We've got to take advantage of it.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
And the show, the value person style is fantastic, Thank you.
It is fantastic. I hope everything works out with a
friend group. I am like literally watching and cannot wait
to hear more and more and more about what happens.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Thank you, honey, see you soon.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Are you single and in your chapter two and need
some advice? Call us or email us. All the info
is in the show notes, follow us on socials, and
make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do
part two in iHeartRadio podcast, where falling in love is
the main objective.
Hey, I do Part two.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's Kelly Klaren Bensimon, one of your celebrity mentors, and
today I'm catching up with one of the stars from
The Valley Persian Style.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
So she's been stuck in the middle of a lot
of conflict.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
On the show this season, and now she's going through
a divorce. I can't wait to catch up with her
and see how she's coming through this difficult situation.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Please help me. Welcome Mercedes MJ to the pot.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Hi, Hori, Kelly, it's good to see you.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I know, it's so good to see you. I know
that you've been going through a lot, but I want to.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Tell you your show was fantastic and you are a baller.
I'm so proud of you with you know, changing your narrative,
raising your son, you know, everything you've been through with
your ex house. We're going to get into that, the
real estate business. You've been doing so well. I am
so proud of you on all fronts. Let's get started. Okay,
So this season's been We've been seeing a lot of
(01:11):
things playing out between you and your soon to be
ex husband Tommy and attention with you guys, you caught
in the middle.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
What was that like for.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
You, it's very hard because you know, we're doing it
with this big cast of friends and instead of six
people who are now twelve. I find a lot of
the episodes to be hard to watch. The scenes between
Tommy and I, I close my eyes, I turn it off.
I just you know, I was with him for ten years,
(01:40):
married seven, very in love, with no intention of following
the footsteps of a divorced family, same age as when
my son, as my son is is when my parents
got separated. It's the worst thing ever, and I hate
it and I never really got any closure with Tommy.
(02:02):
So we're just a married couple going through communication breakdowns
and then, like you always want to have a healthy
conversation to follow up things, and that's how it feels
when you don't get to do that.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I really like what you just said about communication breakdowns,
and I think that that is such a big, big,
big thing that happens in relationships, especially guy. You guys
have been together for so long and you've been through
so much together. It's just obviously wildly serendipitous that this
happened at the same time as you know your parents.
So I'm so sorry for that, so this season your
(02:37):
ex Tommy, he was involved in filming the show less
than when you guys were on shows of Sunset? Was
that an effort to save your marriage? Did you just
not want to film?
Speaker 1 (02:45):
What was?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
What was?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
What happened?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I think he hadn't healed at all from the last
time that we were on TV. It was extremely heavy
on him because you know, we've just had our baby,
and then the falling out with Res it just made us.
It just gutted him. And then coming back. I think
he did want to do the show, but I don't
(03:09):
think he wanted to put himself vulnerable for like getting
you know, hurt again. I mean, he had to serve
time for even I think it was might have just
been for a day, to be honest, I don't know
if he had to go more than a day. It
was probation. Sorry, I don't mean to like spread false information,
but yeah, that's why he didn't. He's he's very fragile
(03:33):
when it comes to what am I going to do?
What's going to happen to me? I think I was
probably afraid too, because I didn't want to have another
falling out with Resa or Valanessa, so fear.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Again like another just compliment to you about just being
so thoughtful for him and his feelings and how that
was going to play out for him. You know, I
think you know I was going to ask you, did
the show contribute to your decision.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
To get divorced.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I saw you guys in two scenes that were really
like pop up scenes. Like the first scene was when
you guys were on the podcast and just like the
back and forth banter seemed difficult, but also you guys
were like in that conflict resolution mode, which I really
really loved. But then when I saw you guys at
(04:21):
the open house where Tommy wouldn't come in, and you're
at this open house, you're filming, You've got stress, you're
you know, you've got so many things going on.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
You're trying to, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Show Maricio how great you are, because you are so great.
Your open house was amazing. No one comes from an
open house, by the way, so that was fantastic. There
was just a lot of variables, and I think you
handled that really well.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
But I could see at that moment he was just
like shutting down. What are your thoughts?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah, my thoughts are like, you want to be able
to feel love from your spouse, And if the neglect
and the isolation outweighs the love and the breakdown, then
it just doesn't make sense. If I would have thought
that Tommy was willing and open to like working things out,
(05:08):
then I wouldn't have had a reason to leave. He's
the one that ended the marriage, not me. He's the
one that stopped participating and checked out for years. It
had it had just come to a head, I just
had to file the paperwork. He was the one that
stopped being to me like so many things that he
was when we first met ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Wow, that's big. Usually it's the woman leaving the man.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I mean, it's very unusual that the man like checks
out and you know, the woman has to leave like that.
That is I'm so sorry. I mean, I just feel
like I just have so much empathy for you. Just
I feel like we have a lot of similarities in
our lives. I mean, I just know that for my
own self, I you know, broke up with a boyfriend
in December because I was going to be filming a
(05:57):
new show and I'm just.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Like I can't, you know, I just can't bring him along.
I'm afraid, you know. I mean, I've had.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I had two very very bad situations happen when I
was filming, and I just was like, I just can't
do this. And I'm just like honestly making me emotion
right now because like, you know, you do work really hard,
and I mean another moment that really like I can't
even tolerate.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
It was like you know, like, first of all.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Having someone pick up your child is one thing, but
like not showing up that really like and you just
kind of going back and figuring saying it was fifteen minutes,
it was forty five minutes. Like I could feel, I
could hear the pain in your voice, and I just
I just know. I know you're filming a show, but
there are moments for the listeners out there that are
so wildly real, and that was one of them.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Like because people are like, oh, you're so calm, You're
so calm, like and I was like, yeah, yeah, because
I have had to learn to be home. There were
years when I was reactive and I would cry and
I would beg and scream. There were years and you know,
so many Christmases and days and Mother's Days and things
like that where I was like, bro, like please don't
phone it in with me like I care too much
(07:06):
and I had my heart in my hand, and I
eventually had to harden and put on more of like
the brave face and be a healthy mom to your son.
And so I shoved everything that I had for Tommy
so that I could be positive. And then you know,
here we are.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
How's the co parenting going.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
The co parenting? We live a minute away, we see
each other, and we're both one hundred percent in with Shams.
He doesn't miss a beat and he gets the best
of both of us. And you know, it's that part
is really healthy.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Thank god, that is That's a huge blessing.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I never had a co parent, so I don't know.
I was like, this co parenting, I'm like, that sounds fantastic.
I had no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I raised my.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Kids on my own, and I have like that is
just something that like is just like, you know, foreign
language to me.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
I can't I even imagine that because when I'm working
and I have days that I come home from work
and I am spent, especially yes, especially at the end
of the day, I'm like, I am not capable of
cooking a meal. I you know, it's going to be pizza.
It's going to be like takeout and when when you
(08:18):
do have somebody, And Tommy is a very good father
and he's very present then and he's become more present
actually since we separated. So I am extremely grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I love that who on the cast has been the
most supportive during this process, everybody.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I mean, I'm not close with Sky right now, which
you know, I know that she feels like she's a
little bit on an island. But I'm really close with
and I feel a lot of love and his support
from Natasha and Amir and Reza and Golnessa and Tanny
and like, they're very, very real. And I've known we've
known Tanny and you know for fifteen years. She just
(09:00):
was one of those people that wasn't going to do
reality TV. And I know it's a huge risk. You
know that too, But yeah, they're they're amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
They are the whole cast is amazing. The dynamic is unbelievable,
and it's just to hear your storyline is just it's heartbreaking.
I mean it's just heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Have you thought about dating? Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
No, custom Mark, No, I am so actually I feel
so distrusted, distrusting of men. I have zero faith in men.
If this is what love is, then no, thank you.
I feel so It's been so long since I've been single.
(09:42):
I can't even imagine. I just feel like I will
die a celibate like lady. Maybe if I'm locky enough
to live to like I'm one hundred, you know, for
the kid, right, But no, I don't see it. I
don't see it being naked in front of of anybody ever.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Again, well, you look gorgeous, so do not do not
talk about don't talk like that because that's not fair.
And I've seen you on the show and you're gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
You put that makeup like you are.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
So this is a really good question.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
If you do get in a relationship, hypothetically, let's say
you started to date.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And you get into your relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Okay, how important is it for that new partner to
get along with your friends?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Yeah, it's important because look, people forget this falling out
with my husband and I was not because of you know,
him not partying. It's not like that. It's more of
like going to weddings by yourself. That shouldn't be a thing.
Wanting to play tennis and going on a hike and
just experience, like, let's go swim in our pool. We
(10:59):
have a beautiful which in California is you know, costs
a lot of money just to have a pool of
running water. It's a lot. Your husband be like, yeah,
I don't want to go swimming, I don't want to
go to the beach. I don't want to go to
this wedding all you baby, Like that was not fun.
So if I were hypothetically with somebody, they would have
(11:22):
to not just writ and bear it or hopefully I
didn't watch that statement, but that they really really just
think that grinn and bear that you really want to
see that as an adventure, like, hey, this wedding is
going to be so boring. Let's get trashed and have
the best time ever, like Bonnie and Clyde. Let's have fun.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
You just want to create memories. And I love that.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I mean, I had so I had that relationship with
my with my first and only husband, he was literally gone.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I'm the girls.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You know, I gave birth my first daughter and he
was gone, like literally came back like once a month.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
So you know, I am so I'm so used.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
To being with someone who's not around and all the
memory I was just looking at these memories because I
just sold my department them living in and I was
looking at all these memories of my girls.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
I'm says, they're all of me and the girls. It's
a party of three. I'm like, this is not what
I want. This is not my future.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
So I totally empathize with you. And you're right, like
you want to create these memories. You want to have
a photo album of like good, bad and ugly, like
you did it together exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
We went to my cousin's wedding. It was a destination wedding.
And when I came back and I looked at my
camera role, I was like, you dumb bitch, what are
you doing here?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I'm literally, you're gonna make me cry, Like I'm so,
I'm like, oh my god, I'm so.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I just I hate this. I hate this. So Okay,
you're you're.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
A fellow, you're you and you're and now there's a
new friend of yours, Britney cart Right. She's in she's
in the valley, she's a resident, and she's gone through
a similar experience. Are you guys talking, do you guys,
because you're both on similar shows.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Do you guys have any like connection?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Okay, so Michelle son I and Britney Carr right, and
I are definitely overdue for a lunch. I'm very funning
with the Rolls on the Valley and we do DM
and say like when are we gonna have lunch? And
you know, sunk right now. It's like, it's so painful
that I have to push myself to get out there
more because between working and then being with the baby,
(13:23):
you just want to you know, he's six, He's always
my baby. You want to be able to like this
that I'm doing here today for you is so new.
I want to literally carve myself back into my life
where I am not putting my hair on the top,
not for forty five days in a row. I literally
think from December to January, I might have left the
(13:45):
house in ways that people would be looking at me
going like is she okay? Like where it's not okay,
it's not okay. And you can't just you know, do
a slick phony to show up. You have to actually
feel it inside. So connecting with girl Brittany and checking
in with Michelle and having fun is so important. We
need to support and laugh at the you know, the craziness,
(14:09):
and you know, maybe she has some cheers. I haven't
cried yet.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I met Brittany at Swim Week at the oh SI Show,
and she is so much fun, Like she is literally
hilarious and we had such a good time. I think
that you'll like her also because she's very authentic like
you are.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
But she's also just fun doing to me. She's smiling
and she's just like I'm trying to get through things.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
And I think you guys should definitely if you have
the if you have the opportunity to do that, you should.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Guys should definitely hang out. She's great.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
I'm gonna literally message her right now.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
She's sunshine and she'll get you whether or not you
even meet.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
She's just got like a very sunny personal.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
No, like like we run into each other all the time.
We see together Michelle as well from her show. We
definitely have intention and should it's really just being on
that like that hamster wheel lifestyle where you're just like
busting your ass trying to get from point A to B.
That's not cool. That's not a way to live. We
have to change that. We will, right will.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
And speaking of your top knot and your burnout, What
are you going to do so that we slick the
hair back and we feel good?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Like, what do you? What do we? What are we
doing for for your self care?
Speaker 3 (15:28):
So I just did. I'm gonna tell you. I just
went to one of the moms from my school. She
was like, get your ass in here, I'm giving you
a signature facial. She laminated my brows. I went to
my friend's house. She did the hair. I have to
do the spray tand there's nothing that makes me feel
(15:49):
quite as good. I'm very fair right now, and I've
got like pounds of dark like you know, bronze on
so that I'm all about a steam room, red light therapy,
my f forty five for muscle tone, and I walk
my dog, you know. So I'm just committed to doing
(16:11):
more of that.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Do you know the red light therapy?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Honestly, I feel so like even just putting that mask
on for a couple of seconds, I'm just like, WHOA.
I mean, obviously there are had so many benefits, but
I know, even for myself, I'm very like, I'm very
light sensitive, and I'm just like when I get light, my.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Body goes yes, and then when I have no light,
it's like, well, yeah, well I do the thing I
subscribe to the wake up, open the door, let the
sun hit you, and get that vitamin D. You have
to actually be your skin meets the vitamin D. It's
not just your face and you want to protect your
face from sunspots. But yes, this is an eighty degree
(16:51):
day in La. By the way, we have no excuse,
so I just have to take more advantage of what
we have here, which I am.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
But I literally I had a when I after I
broke up with my my boyfriend, I literally had a
Carrie Bradshaw moment and I darkened my hair and I
was like inside it was like the semmer and I
was like, oh.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Oh this is this is my name. I mean, everything
is okay.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I am not like that though, by the way, I'm
always like okay, you know, maybe this isn't right, okay.
I mean granded never had anyone break up with me.
I've always been the one that's like no, no, no, no,
no no no, And this I was.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Just like no.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
But I was just like, oh, I've never like thought
about going back with someone, right, No.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
But I mean I know that you were when we
ran into each other at Jeff's at radio, you were
with somebody, and then when it ended, I was like, God,
I wish I should have reached out to you at
that time too, because I know it wasn't it wasn't
what you were expecting.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
That was awful.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Okay, So being this is not being on Europe, being
on our own, being on our own.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
You know, what's it been like for you? I mean,
what's I mean? I know that you've.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
You're doing some self careac your friends, you know, have
done so many nice things for you.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
But have you like made over your house? Have you
like done something different?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Is there anything that you've done for yourself that like
the you can help our listeners kind of go through,
you know, how to make themselves feel better, you know,
because you do look so great by the way, you
look really great.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Thank you. I you know, we moved out of the
house that we were married in. I moved into a
townhouse which was the polar opposite vibe, full of white light.
It was just like the place that I moved into
is so bright and high ceilings and everything that I'm
choosing to put in this new home is a very
(18:58):
conscious choice of and I there were things that I
just said, can't come in, they can't go with me.
So I purged probably eighty percent of what we had.
I only kept the things that felt one hundred and
if it didn't like belong, then I just said like
thank you and goodbye. Because I saw Lala Kent when
(19:21):
she separated from her marriage their engagement, and I saw
her put like every single piece back into her house
and I was like, that was that should be there, right,
and then goodbye to the out with the old, in
with the new. It's also a huge part of Persian
culture is symbolism and how things feel. And you know,
(19:43):
we've all heard of the Marie condo. So it's like
when you have to connect with your body, you have
to connect with your womanhood, you have to connect with
like the shower is an extra luxurious shower, Like I
would slather on everything that made me feel spoiled as
possible on a daily basis, like take time, extra extra time,
(20:04):
and that is you know, it's fun, it's fun. Plans.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I actually did that. I put on this like really
really nice lotion today.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
I was like, I feel like I deserve that's actually good.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Advice for your clients because you can say when they're
when they're you know, buying or selling, that you can
say that these are the things that you've done, and
this is something that people are always looking for to
They're looking for advice and how to like navigate that
next chapter of their lives. And so, I, you know,
I feel like that's just like such a good you know,
also takeaway. Before I let you go, I want to
(20:38):
ask you about the Traders because you were such a
superstar on.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
That show, Thank You.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Would you ever like want to go back or come back?
Speaker 1 (20:46):
I mean, is there everybody loved you on Traders?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Thank You? The first time is always the best time.
I love the experience. I felt like sleep away camp
but I never got to do when I was a kid.
But if I were to go back this time, I
would really be extra worried about spending time away from
my son. I've been hearing like maybe there will be
(21:10):
an All Stars. I think I would play the game
differently in some ways because it is getting like no disrespect,
but every season is evolving. There is like a very
high level of respect and decorum on the set of Traders,
Like with this overseas English production Company. They're not as
they don't have tolerance for anything vicious, so I you know,
(21:33):
never say no to the universe. But also like it was,
it was a very unique, intensely positive experience. I loved it.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I would go on Traders with you. We could be
like the two pieces in a pod.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
I'd be like, I'm very I'm very like fluffy bunny,
but then on the inside, I'm super strategic.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Right, It's true. And I don't know how you feel
about like crawling into dark holes. And you know, there
are a lot of like no, no me, Me and
Phedra Chary, even Kevin from Bling Empire, like none of
us were willing to go into a pitch black tunnel
that had like rats and worms. I don't know what
(22:20):
was in there. It was so slimy, and it smelled
like horse piss. It was at the horse.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
The horse piss.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I'm a usedup, but like and I'd bend in the catacombs,
which sounds very bougie in Europe, but I am now
there's certain I am so there are certain things I cannot.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
I can do anything.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
She can jump from She's like they're always like, you're
so sporty I'm like, just because I can run and
ride a horse and play a little tennis and hit
some golf balls, does not make me one to like,
you know, jump off the cliffs Like that's a no.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Oh, no, you would repel because we did the repelling
down the line. We did a lot of like physical things,
but no, you don't think you could repel. It was
the scariest thing. I have like very sensitive hands, so
I'd be like, and then you had to like not
look down. And then I never used the repel before.
I was like, look what happens if I just slide? No, dude,
there were a lot of things that were very challenging.
(23:14):
But if the I will give props major props to
Trishall and ct. They did the disgusting things that took
thirty minutes, like to get through the tunnel, Like give
that up to the challenge people. The Bravo people were
making it entertaining and the people were earning the dollars.
I guess the Bravo.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Paper are always like, oh my god, I'll talk about
exactly well.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
We love you so much and I support you. I
am here for you.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
I know this is not the easiest time in your life,
but you're doing such beautiful work for your family, for
your son, for the fans, for your business, for your
ex husband. I mean, you're wearing a lot of hats
and we're just like, we're here for you. And I'm
going to speak on behalf of all the fans.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
We love you.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I love you, Kelly. Thank you. I am going to
call you.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Yes, please do. I'm in la a lot. I would
love to see you, and I'm here for you.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
I know that it's not easy, but like I mean,
even like you know, I talked to Brittany about it,
and I've talked to some other you know, people you know,
Bravo friends, and you know, they're all like.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
What happened and how did you get through?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
It's like, all of a sudden, it was like a
badge of honor and now like people are like help me.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I'm like, I don't know, but we do. We love
you so much and we're here for you.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
If that's all one of the best things about us
being in this Bravo community. We have like this family
family with each other. We've got to take advantage of it.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
And the show, the value person style is fantastic, Thank you.
It is fantastic. I hope everything works out with a
friend group. I am like literally watching and cannot wait
to hear more and more and more about what happens.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Thank you, honey, see you soon.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Are you single and in your chapter two and need
some advice? Call us or email us. All the info
is in the show notes, follow us on socials, and
make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do
part two in iHeartRadio podcast, where falling in love is
the main objective.
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Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!