Address The Mess: Curtis, Who Did You Give My Phone Number To?

In this episode, Gandhi & Diamond talk with Curtis about a LOT: What is Camp Flavor? How was Old-Timer’s Day? Who will be the Night Mayor? They also get to the bottom of a question they’ve been dying to have answered all week, and are shocked at what actually happened. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
I know that's right.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
We haven't studied well, No, we're starting out, have you.
By the way, Hello, Curtis.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Oh, it's Gandhian diamond Yes it is. Oh, it's been
so long since I had my last podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Fix, it's the three of us. We have a podcast
together now, you know this, right?

Speaker 1 (00:18):
No, but I'm addicted. I'm addicted.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Good people are addicted to you. Whenever we post off
with you, it goes viral and I.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Actually get people responding who are like hip happening and
not like the old people listen to me on WR radio.
It is so good for me to know that people
my grandchildren's sage could be now responding to me instead
of ignoring me because of Gandhi and Diamonds.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
That's right, Curtis, that's right. Do you read the comments?

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Uh? No, because I don't even know how to get
into the comments section. But you're gonna teach me at
the end of the show. I'm sure all I gotta
do is press one button, not my belly button, right,
I don't think you even.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Need to press a button or just under the video.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
I'm a rod eyed. Do you realize I can barely
send an email in a text.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
I had to look up what that word meant because
you've used it enough times and I feel like I
should know it now. I know, now you know, I
mean context clues. We could get it.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Well, there was a period of time that I was
in family court and some of the emails that I
sent were on the front pages of the New York
City tabloids. Let's just say it made me look good,
but then again I got clouded because of it. You understand, I.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Have no idea.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Actually, so do you mean people say two snaps up? Yeah,
let's do it.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Just you were in family court many times. Okay. You
want to say why.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
Well, I've had a history of different relationships. You even
married five times. Well, let's just say five.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Times, j Low. Yes, okay, let's.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Just say hopefully one day we're able to get you
on love's blind? Is that a possibility? Diamond?

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Diamond, because you have to address that.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah. One of my wives, her name is Mary. She
is the mother of my oldest son, Anthony, proved that
love is blind because when we went our separate ways,
she ended up marrying Forema Governor David Pattison, proving that
love is blind.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yep, she had a thing for men in politics.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Uh, whatever it is, love was clearly blond. I'll leave
it at that.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
You leave it at that, as though you haven't just
dropped a bomb and walked out.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Isn't that what I generally do? It is and this
way it leaves them wanting to come back for more
because we give them the little ordures. It's like feeding
the pigeons, you know, and then all of a sudden,
where's y Andre? Where's the beef? Maybe not this show,
but maybe the next one, and the next one and
the next one.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
He's a marketer if ever we have seen one.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
She's called the big teas. It's not what young ladies do.
It's the radio teas.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
That's all this, curtis. Every time you have a sentence
come out of your mouth, there's more that we need
to unpack from that sentence. So where do we even begin? Yeah,
we'll start where you want to start with.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
With that dirt bag Usha please?

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Okay, So Diamond and I were talking about this the
other day. If you don't know what happened, Usher and
Chris Brown touring together. Usher does this thing they both
do actually where they pull somebody up on stage and
then they have basically like a dry humping session with yes, yes,
and a girl got pulled up on stage, was not
into it, clearly leaned away from him, embarrassing, and he

(03:38):
shoot her off the stage. She then came back and
tweeted a.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Bunch of craper what was up with that? Do rag?
Come on, man, you ain't You ain't in the hood,
you ain't street Usha, You're mama Luke. Remember back in
nineteen ninety four he was in the flavor camp of
Sean Puff Daddy Cone. What is a flavor camp? Uh?
Justin Bieber Bible whatever was also in it there. Do

(04:02):
you call him justin Biber whatever? Okay, I don't know
what went on between them and their mentor, but we
do know after that long, long trial that apparently he
had a predilection to have sex with whoever was in
his presence. I'll leave it at dead. Yeah, but I

(04:24):
think Ussha is trying to compensate for what people think
happened between him and P Diddy. So now he's got
to be like, yeah, I'm so sexy. Every woman in
the world want to get up here and want me
to get nasty, nasty, right, And that lady distant dismissed
him so good because he got up and he acted

(04:45):
like you know who I am. I'm usha get that
freaking do rag off your head, man, because if I
hit you, I'd hit you so hard your mother would
feel the vibration. Do come on.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Are you plotting on punching usher?

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Man? I hate that guy. I don't even like his songs.
Now the other guy that he's touring with, right, that degenerate? Okay,
Chris Brown. I like some of his songs, I really do.
See that's the problem. Whether he's doing duos, who he's
singing singly. I'm saying to myself, my God, something in
the water must be affecting me, because I like his songs.

(05:23):
But he is a complete degenerate. What he did to Rihanna,
he should have caught a beatdown from every Bayesian from
here to Crown Heights and Barbados too.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
You are absolutely right, and that was just the tip
of the iceberg. That was the first thing that we
knew that he did. From that point, he's done plenty more.
I hate to say this, but you have to acknowledge truth. Right,
He's one of the most talented artists that I think
are out there. He is like an actual artist, like
graffiti artist. He's a dancer, he's a singer. He's also
just a big asshole.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Let me ask you a question though. Yeah, now that
they're like I can Mike like Heckel and Jacko like
two pis in a pod. What's up with this? They're
at Medlife cheapest ticket is one hundred and seventy five dollars.
What do they think? They're peep so like rolling in?
Don't do they not realize the growth season gone up
like thirty five percent? The gasolader's four dollars a gallon?

(06:16):
What's up with that? They forget their peeps and forget
when they win the club and nobody would pay them
the time of day? You know, there was this time.
It was the super Bowl in Detroit, Worth super Bowl
I've ever seen. I happen to be there and I
go to a nearby casino. That's the only thing you
go to Detroit for is either to watch the Lions
play or a casino. And who's sitting there Usher with

(06:40):
his two marcho maniacal bodyguards, and one of them approaches
me because I was with Johnny Legit aka Paul Lark.
Paul Carlucci. He goes, would you like to see mister Usher?
And he's staring at me, I fornicating me, mad dog
and me, and I said, no, you can tell him, man,
I have no disiness that I had to be anywhere

(07:01):
in his presence. And I got up and we left
to a different part of at casino.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
What was your beef with Usher?

Speaker 1 (07:07):
I didn't like the way he was staring and glenning that.
I mean, he should have been giving me mad respect.
At that time his music was pretty good, okay, But
after that, man, he was on the down load with me.
I'm telling you that.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
So you just hated Usher ever since that experience with
him at the super Bowl and.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Now and now he's charging with his sidekick the Abusa
one hundred and seventy five, lowest ticket in the house
at Mad Life. How do you do that? You're killing
the business.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Absolutely, But all of them are doing that now. It's
not just Usher and Chris Brown. Have you seen concert
tickets for things? They're nuts. You can't get them for
under two hundred bucks like anywhere. People think it's a steal.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
It's so different. When I went to see god Father,
a soul soul brother number one, King of one two
five change found. I got answer to my pants that
I need to dance on hot pants one hot pants. Hey,
Macio in the Mac hit those horns.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
He was an abuser too, Yes he was, you.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Are right, and he did prison time.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Man, he did time, man, Okay, so he did his time.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, but man, come on, you gotta give him props.
And before there was MJ right, yeah doing that moonwalk?
Who was doing the mashed potatoes up on that stage?

Speaker 2 (08:22):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (08:23):
And do you know who is the opening act for
James Brown and Macio in the Mac The little boy
preacher from Stone Avenue in Brownsville, Never ran, Never Will
diamond Ouslim Shady Sharpton. What yeah?

Speaker 2 (08:38):
You think he was that.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Pumpy dude, that that original head dude. His hero, his
mentor was James Bown. What see, I'm educating you all.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
You know, honestly, you could say anything and I don't
have my laptop in front of me to google it,
so you could lie and I don't know.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Let me tell you something. I used to read Jet
and Ebony magazine. He was required in my house and
you know it was always in that James Brown, who
was a publican he was a Republican. James Brown godfather
is sold soul brother number one. I love James Brown.
You got to listen to hot Pants Swan and hot
Pants Too and say it loud. I'm proud, I'm black

(09:15):
and I'm proud. Come on, Diamond, Curtis.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Do you walk around saying that?

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Of course and people think I'd Monsieur Gombats and then
they sort of avoid me.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
No.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
I have to say the comment section very much seems
to love you. There are a couple people that have
some questions for you, which maybe we should address at
some point, but the majority of people want you to
be some sort of at least mascot for the city.
How do you feel about that? You know something I don't.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
I don't know what You're going No better authority than
Prince Prince right. I know you are the purple people
eater out of Minneapolis, right, who had all those great songs.
You know they come in a Broadway now.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
That's right?

Speaker 1 (09:54):
Uh, and that's going to pack the house? Yeah? And
you know he wrote that special song honor A when
I was in Minneapolis patrolling South Minneapolis with the Guardian Angels.
I think it was nineteen ninety nine raspberry beret.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
That's when that song came out.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
Oh that was for me and me alone. Did you
know that?

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Did you wear a raspberry bra?

Speaker 1 (10:13):
And I'm thinking, do you do? Thinking? Although it's not
my money, it's putting it on Broadway. It costs a
lot of a lot of ducats.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
Right.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
How about Dave Chappelle playing the role of Prince, which
he did magnificently against the greasya here Rick James and
the Mary Jane girls. Do you remember that he was
had not some of the greatest comedic acts of all time.
He played both both roles. Yeah, it up for Dave Chappelle.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
You have a lot of big ideas. How are we
gonna put these into action? What are we gonna do?

Speaker 1 (10:46):
You see, if I had the money, if I had
to scratch, you.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Could have had the money, if you would have taken
the bribe from the Republican Party to get out of
the race, but you chose not to.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
That's right, man, ten million dollars diamond.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
I know you.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
And when I threw that past Charlemagne to God during
the election, he said, are you crazy? I would have
taken that money. Who came to you and offered it
so many people. Man had started at three miil, then four,
then five, and then six, then seven, then eight, then
nine and ten. But you see Eric Adams, he took
I think, I think twenty mil to drop out and

(11:20):
I told them I ain't dropping out. Why should I
drop out?

Speaker 3 (11:24):
Not?

Speaker 1 (11:24):
The people decide? Right? Isn't that what democracy is about?

Speaker 2 (11:27):
You can't grab me in democracy.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
You can't kill me. Well, you can't kill me, but
you can't dribe me. You can't bribe you.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
But you so you can't say who it was that
came to you?

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Was it the same person?

Speaker 3 (11:37):
Over and over?

Speaker 1 (11:38):
You're gonna have to wait, Oh, is this the next
episode you're gonna talk? No, that's gonna be the drop
of the century, that's man. I'm gonna have to go
into the witness Protection program after that.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
You don't believe in that?

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Ooo? Man, let me tell you, this is gonna, This
is gonna, This is gonna hit deep. It's gonna hit
real deep.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
What are you waiting for to drop the bomb?

Speaker 1 (11:59):
M Dancing with the Stars the right time, the right place,
the right a coup tree mode, the right ambiance. Now
what would that be like?

Speaker 2 (12:08):
A Netflix DOCKU series.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
If that's fight out of words or multi syllabic tough nuggies.
I'm trying to sound like I'm an educated human being.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
Work so far.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
But wait, he said late, we gotta go back to Prince.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
Now we have to go back to like seventeen things
that you have said. But let's go back to Prince.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
Go ahead, this is gonna be great. First they had
MJ on Broadway, right, Michael Jackson. Now they're gonna have
Dolly Parton.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
Love her.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
She's selling out the house right.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Hell yeah, I want to see that, Prince.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
When are they going to do courteously with one man
show on Broadway? I'm depending on you Gandhi and you
Diamond to make that happen.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
Wait a minute, I thought we had an order of
business that we were doing things, and yeah, you're throwing
new things in here. First we're trying to get you on.

Speaker 3 (12:50):
Let me.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
I am humble. I will start in Edison, New Jersey.
In Carteret, I will be off off, off, off, off,
off off Broadway. Okay, you know little house on the Prairie.
I don't care. I just want that opportunity eventually. Like
Old Cowcutter, which was the longest running musical in the
history of the Great White Way Broadway. And by the way,

(13:11):
why did they call it the White Way when there
are so many blacks now who not only star, but
who filled the aisles? Who created this White Way? To me,
that sounds racist, gandhi En Diamond, It certainly does sounds
discriminatory to me.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
What would you prefer to be called?

Speaker 1 (13:28):
I would prefer that they keep cats alive? Do you
know cats? Cats? The music on Broadway?

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Cats?

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yes? And you know me, I believe all cats, all
cats lives now. Andrew Lloyd Webber who created the original
music with mostly all white folks in it, and it
was a hit. But then they did the movie and
that was a bomb. Yeah, Taylor Swift, that was a bomb. Yeah, yeah,
whoop be that was a bomb. Those cats didn't even

(13:59):
have tail. How can they be real cats? But this one,
this is Black Vogue. This is elevating creativity in dance
like no other show has ever done that. And Andrew
Lloyd Webber said, I feel so bad I have to
close this after four months. This was in the forefront
of everything creative and I will never forget that first

(14:22):
time I was introduced to LGBTQ plus Black Vogue. I mean,
we're talking the houses of Black Vote, and I say,
I cannot compete with you.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
You went to like a ballroom competition.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
We were being honored up in the projects in hall.
Who is we the Guardian Angel in the beginning and
it was a great presentation, and some of the younger
men there said, you know, we want to honor you
in our house. I had no idea what the hell
they were talking about, so you just showed up. They said,

(14:55):
our house is in a competition tonight, and I thought, man,
that's like breakdancers. Remember how you had breakdancing cruise would
compete against one another. But this was ahead of that.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
When I walked into that ballroom and I saw these
men of significance performing, they were like Gumby on the
dance floor. They were gyrating. I mean they were look.
I could never compete with those moves. I was dazzled.
I said to myself, man, this is incredible. How come

(15:28):
other people don't know about this? And they never did
until to his credit, Andrew Lloyd Webber, a guy who's
had so many hit shows from the West End of
London that we used to patrol as the Guardian Angels
because that's where the shows start and then they come
to Broadway. He said, you know, this is one of
the greatest shows I've ever done, but we got to
close after four months because the producers are greedy, the

(15:50):
theater owners are greedy, the unions are greedy. We can't
afford to keep these productions up and going. And that's
a sad day for me. Who would have thought Curtis
Leewood was a fan. He snaps up a black Vogue
and Madonna. I give you props. You know, I'm not
a fan of Madonna, but she sort of elevated that
when she had that song. Vogue never never really spent

(16:14):
a lot of time talking about its origin, its birth,
its development, which was right there in Harlem, USA.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
So you're sad that Thegelical Ball is closing the new
version of Cats, very sad, and you're saying it's because
of all the greed. And that's what's going on in
Broadway in general right now, right because a ton of
shows are closing that are pretty great that it's like,
what happened here? What is happening to Broadway?

Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Who are you about to light up?

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Right? Now just there's not enough money. But you know,
did you see that movie.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
Which one.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
Spider Man he's back after five years? He was way well,
this is why I'm working.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
On the Okay, okay, weave the web.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Let's got me, Randa right, last great musical first, it
was The Heights. I saw that Hamilton. I couldn't get
in to see it, but my son seemed to have
memorized all the words. His next musical on Broadway, because
you know, he has a hit every time he does something,
is The Warriors. Warriors come out and play based on
the movie the classic nineteen seventy nine, which if you

(17:26):
didn't know at the time that I started The Guardian
Angels because you weren't birth yet like Diamond and of
course Kandhy, you look at that movie, you'll know what
I was dealing with. Gangs, kangs, kang, gank. He's bringing
it to Broadway. I'm lighting candles. I'm hoping that Miranda
the most successful producer on Broadway now in the history,
even greater than Andrew Lloyd Webber. I think you did

(17:48):
all admit that, okay, that he brings to Guardian Angels
to do what Broadway?

Speaker 2 (17:53):
Oh wait, so you want a one man show of
Curtis Leewall, Yes, And then you also want a lin
Manuel Miranda version of The Guardian Angels.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
Does he get any bigger than that? If he could
do it for the water?

Speaker 2 (18:04):
I don't know if it does. Oh, come on, god, No,
I don't think it gets any bigger.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
Keep Hope live. It's Barack Obama said, keep Hope alive.
My hope is alive? Is it Mine's dead? Look? I'm
dead on his politics. A little too liberal for me, okay,
but I love his productions. Look, I went to the
Heights on Broadway, Washington Heights. Most people wouldn't even know
how to find their way to Washington Heights.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
One of my best friends lives in Washington Heights.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
That's right? And do you rita? Do you order Presidente
when you're up there? Do you have Mauffoulo? You have Mangbu?

Speaker 3 (18:36):
Do you have?

Speaker 2 (18:38):
I feel like you are much more liberal leaning than conservative.
The things that you seem to care about, the things
that you're into, the causes you support. What about you
is conservative? Where do you fall on this conservative scale?
I know you said you're a conservative like Abraham Lincoln?
What does that mean?

Speaker 1 (18:54):
Oh, I didn't say, you have Lincoln was not a conservative.
You said the original Republican.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
A Raham Lincoln was a republic right, And then all of.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
A sudden they came gold Water and Reagan and now
Maga and Trump.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
That's not me, that's not you, right, But so what
are you?

Speaker 1 (19:09):
Well, let me give you an example. What is it
that a mayor the Democratic Socialists of America who's doing
here that has never been done before New York City?

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Tha, mom, Donnie, yes, right?

Speaker 1 (19:20):
What supermarkets? City owned supermarkets?

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (19:24):
And I used to manage a supermarket at night the
Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea Company better known as AMP.
I was the key man. We had to pack out
the shelves and I had to do the orders. So
I know as much about that business as anybody. Okay,
And actually that's not a bad idea.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
And I'll tell you what, Oh the supermarkets.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
He's not setting up co ops. You know again in
the white, upper scale neighborhoods, they love that co op
thing where they all contribute and they go to work.
It's like kibbutz in Israel, you know, pure socialism. It's
in the hood. The first one he's putting in Hunk's
point right bite spot for then no supermarkets said, they're
no fresh vegetables and fruits. And if you do buy

(20:06):
the meat, it's hogshead cheese from like two years ago
in about Dagga God, it is unhealthy. So what he's
doing by cutting prices thirty percent, I say good. The
problem is he needs somebody who knows how to run
a supermarket because the problem is when you're on Hunts
Point Boulevard, those shoplifters are going to be like locusts

(20:27):
through the cornfield. And you know, Mayor zorhaman dummy. He
doesn't want to put them, He doesn't want to put
him in jail. He doesn't know how to stop shoplifters.
We should know. We should have a partnership. He's the
AM Mayor, I'm the PM Mayor. Right because my.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Comment section wants they want you to be the nightmare.
Nobody really has a definition of what that is. That's
what they want.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
We will run the supermarket security because it isn't just
a shoplifters from the outside. It's in store theft. Okay,
there's a lot of folks that work for you are
stealing mad like for instance, they're walking out in the
meat aisle, the people who are rapping meat all night
and then check out their bloomers, so they're bvds in
the food of the loom man, and all of a

(21:09):
sudden you see the stakes and the chops dropping out.
In store theft, Yeah, you know what bloomers are. Oh no,
that dates me a bit. Okay, it ain't. You can't.
You can't stuff anything in a tongue, so you need
to wear a pair of bloomers. Okay, and let me
tell you the in store theft is mad and then
white collar theft people stealing, you know, from the cash

(21:30):
red it says, I'll know how to crack down on
that and make that kind of a supermarket work for
the poor people.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
You know, Mom, Dannie, you guys have done things together, right.
Both of you said you would have been the second
choice if you had to rank each other.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Well, he did it, he said, yeah, if there were
ranked choice in the general election, Yeah, he said, I
would choose Curtis, And I said, stop gleazing me so hot.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
You wouldn't have chosen him a second.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
I wouldn't have chosen Andrew evilizes Cuomo, stopiing man best
snow fuss, slapping fans and.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
Killing grand That's right. I hate that man, So you
should reach out to him and partner in some way.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
See, this is the problem.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
Gap. You still haven't answered how your conservative.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
This is the problem. I'm the man of the streets
and subways. Nobody knows as much about these things as
me because I've experienced them.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
You make yourself sound like an inja turtle. Uh No,
that is a little bit the visual anti stuff too.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
I can't right, I can't identify with the pimps, the pushes,
the prostitutes, the street thugs, and the people who got
to survive in the streets. I don't look at them negatively.
I understand them. But I also want this supermarket idea
to work because people in those neighborhoods they need good yeah,
fresh food at thirty percent reduction. The bodega guys they're

(22:44):
arguing with, Oh, you're gonna put each out of business.
Uh You ever take a can off of a bodega
shelf and you look at the expiration date. Hey a, Miguel,
why does it say nineteen ninety eight? You know, it's
like it's like twenty six. Am I right or wrong
about that? Okay, Look, we gotta worry about people eating
healthy foods. So if we got to subsidize this good

(23:07):
food to create a better habit amongst people to balance
their diet, then yeah, that's why I see government playing
a role. So see, I'm not a poaching everyone. Oh
he can't. Socialism. Socialism is not the worst thing in
the world. We have a history of socialism. Can I
mentioned a few things? Sure? Forty hour work week? Do
you feel like you have not gone to public schools

(23:30):
like medicare medicas?

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Forty hour work week sucks?

Speaker 1 (23:34):
Go on, Why you want to be working eighty hours
and getting them got bust.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Twenty Oh that's what I want.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
Well, that's what they're working towards. The socialist I can
see you wanted them, right, you wanted high five twenty hours? Wait,
twenty hour work week and you get paid for forty right,
that's what.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
You want eighty eighty?

Speaker 1 (23:53):
Oh? Man, man, you are you gouging? Who's gonna pay for?

Speaker 3 (23:59):
All?

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Time? Is a premium?

Speaker 2 (24:01):
Okay? So forty hour work week?

Speaker 1 (24:02):
What else? So many good things? Yeah? Public schools, yeah,
love it. Libraries or as I call it, a library.
Why do you pronounce that? Well? What is the correct
word library or library?

Speaker 2 (24:14):
Library?

Speaker 1 (24:14):
You know how many oracles in the world had to
run and hide in the library all day to stay
away from the thugs and the doug AADs? You know
how many? I don't you know how many point decks
had to hide in the library all day because they
fear going outside because they'd be turned into a speba.
Libraries or libraries are extraordinarily important. Yes, if I had

(24:38):
been mayor seven days a week, twenty four hours a day.
The old people like to hang there too, you know,
because they actually read books. Yep. I don't know if
any of you gen zs read books anymore.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
I'm reading book right now.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
Yeah what audio?

Speaker 2 (24:51):
Or No, I'm reading it. It's called remarkably bright creatures.

Speaker 1 (24:54):
Wait a second, oh, you gen Z women. Every time
I see you in the Starbucks, you're reading The Catcher
the Rye? What is that? What is that fixation with
Catcher in the right? Do you realize the guy who
killed John Lennon, what was he reading at the time
he shot him five times outside of the Dakota on
seventy second in Central Park West in nineteen eighty got
you in the Rye? Why are gen z's reading this literature.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Because we want to shoot people.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Clearly, you know what you should read next? The Great
Gats Me, because that's the era we're living in already. Man. Yeah,
the super rich and man we're gonna crash, and the
poor of being left to the man. I'm sounding more
and more like a socialist.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
I'm telling you, Curtis, I see you. I appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
No wonder why the Republicans hate me.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
So I think you need to reach out to Marymum
Donnie yes, and offer up the Guardian Angels to help
with these grocery stores.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
How about them? Now that Spider Man is returning and
is going to give you listis a run for its money,
apparently already sold out. Okay, Spider Man has been gone,
believe it or not, for five years. He's been globetrotting.
He left his vigilante credentials in Forest Hills twenty Ingram Street.
Now you know how I know that? I lived on

(26:11):
Ingram and Yellowstone Boulevard, and people would come up to
me and say, oh, do you know Peter Parker? Do
you know Spider Man? I got mail for Peter Parker?
What do you think of the USPS? US Postal Service,
and my two little sons would say, Daddy, you know
Spider Man. I mean they were asking me to be
like the mail carrier. I'd go to the post office.
They said, sleeper, do us a favor. We got bags

(26:33):
of mail for Spider Man. Who actually stan Lee created
this image, not like Superman or Batman from Gotham, but
a normal middle class community Forest Hills. And now he's
come back after five years as the peaceful vigilante. Never
ask me permission, I will partner up with Spider Man.
He can patrol the streets and subways on the AM

(26:56):
and me nocturnal, I could do it on the PM.
How does that sound good?

Speaker 2 (27:00):
Ideas here a lot, Yeah, but not enough.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
People voted for me. I could have put this all
into effect. I can't imagine why. Oh wait a second,
Oh wow, now you're playing critic.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
No.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
No, here's the thing. I ask you a question and
you answer, but never the question you answer was something,
but you don't answer the question.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
And that what a politician does. See it, They avoid,
They do a pivoted shift. They basically say whatever is
on their mine. They figure, what what was that question?
I'm not answering.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
They dance.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
They dance around it and I know you're a dancer.
Oh God, can I dance?

Speaker 2 (27:30):
Can do you have any moves? Like if we were
to play a song, what do you dance to? I
know you party under the cabridge, to eat music school?

Speaker 1 (27:39):
Is this goal? So so I was in the clubs,
but you can't rely on this goal because for your generation,
they would look at me like I belong in the
Museum of Natural History, you know, next to Tony Manero,
you know John Travolta from Saturday Night FEVA. That's past.
So now if you notice when I was on that

(28:00):
iheartfloat and props to iHeart LGBTQ. Plus the float Gay Pride,
who was the turking Master, who was like all In fact,
many of the celebrity performers that all the different programs
brought onto that float stepped aside because they knew the

(28:21):
dance master extraordinary. The whirling Dervis Curtis Leewa was like
going strong and the crowd couldn't get enough of that.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
So what was the song that was playing whilst you
were dropping it? Like, it really doesn't matter, But what
do you want to dance too? Because we're gonna get
you on dancing with the stars.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
Now, that is our goal.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Let me explain, because this is why. Whether it's marengue,
whether it's Ragatoon, whether it's old disco, whether it's EDM,
my favorite electronic dance music. Once I get into a mood,
in a groove, I am NonStop a whirling dervish. I
can dance the poka I finished second place. Did you
know that? And the Poka dancing contest up there in Westchester?

(29:01):
Eating my parole geese and my my wokies. You don't
know I'm Polish, right was? I was the Grand Marshal
of the Pulaski Day Parade, and I think I already
dropped this on you. Once as I came out of
Saint Patrick's Cathedral before the big parade up Fifth Avenue,
some visitors from San Diego who knew of me because
we have Guardian angels, I said Curtis, I didn't know

(29:24):
that the Polish people have a parade in honor of
Roman Polanski. I said, Roman Polanski, that pedophile. No, this
is General Pulaski, General Kushchu School. And they looked at
me like I was speaking a foreign language.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
Wait, so what do you want? To dance to when
you're Dancing with the Stars audition tape you wanted us
to put together.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Right, it ain't the fox shot, it ain't the waltz,
the dances, the last Tango in Paris. You know, Marlon
Brado got a little nasty doing that. But I think
now you're gonna be the producers of this because you
represent the new generation. Okay, we take cuts of me

(30:08):
on that iheartfloat because that's gonna blow away the producers.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Let me make some notes cuts from the iHeart.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Right, and you have a lot of footage because Z
one hundred was represented. They were strong in the house, okay,
and they were like, got got Google over, Curtis Sly
were dancing, so I'm sure they got different shots. Okay.
And then we'll produce some others to show the diversity
of my dance steps. Okay. So in case they're not
too cool on me torking.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Okay, now I think they'll be cool with it. So
we got you torking on the flow. We're gonna get
some disco, We're gonna get some polka, we're gonna get
some eatium, fist pumping.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
Under the game, and maybe old school video of Curtis
Lee were back when I had high levels of testosterone
crash into my cranium. I believe you, and let me
tell you, yeah, I would say that the young ladies,
you know, especially when there was the slow jams back
to and oh my god, Harold Melvin in the Blue Notes.

(31:03):
Do you know who was really the lead singer of
Harold Melvin, Harold Pegas. I would say to the young lady,
We're gonna have such a good slow dance and I'm
gonna move to your groove that I suggest you go
for a pregnancy test tomorrow at your local hospital. You think, hey,

(31:25):
degenerate there, who is that guy with the shmat on
his head with the dude rag? The guy? Hey, now,
she is a good dance. I get him props, but
he wants to do simulated sex on the stage with
a young lady.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
You would the real deal man, I did not expect that.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
I am telling you, Gandhi and Diamond. That used to
be my warning and turn out the lights. You see.
That was Teddy See I remember Teddy Penegas. This is
before you were birthed. Young ladies would be in the
hot man. He packed them in and they'd be throwing

(32:05):
the panties up on the stage, and you know what,
it turned out, Teddy bad the Gas unfortunately became a paraplegic.
He was driving his bends on the main line outside
of Philadelphia and it turned out he was being orally fixated.
Is this story by a transgender?

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Is this a true story?

Speaker 1 (32:24):
And he crashed into a telephone poland Teddy just he
was impaired.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
Is this a true story? Curtis, I told you say anything.
I don't have laptop.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
I ate an urban myth. Why don't you check it out?
Why don't you AI you're so into artificial intelligence or Google? Google?
Trust me Google. I love Teddy Penny Gas.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Okay, I believe you. I have one question. If you
took your wife Nancy, right, you took your wife to
an Usher and Chris Brown show and she got pulled
up on stage and they did the thing that they
do with Nancy. Is that a deal breaker? Or you
let it happen?

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Man, they wouldn't even get to first base. You know,
Chris Brown can throl all the bottles in the world,
you know, his imported champagne bottles because a guy can't
fight and us he is such a Mama Luke from
camp what was that camp flavor? A graduated camp flavor
with Justin bieber Biber whatever, there would be a fight.

(33:28):
And by the way, we didn't even mention Sean Puff.
Daddy comes in Fort Dix, which is like a country
camp in federal prison system. He got into a fight.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
Yeah, he's in solitary now.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Because somebody said, Hey, PDD man, how come you ain't
getting me? Commissary man? You know you got all those
millions out there. Want to lend me some of your
baby oil and I'll turn you into my maytag.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
This is why I don't know if anything that you're
saying is true.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
It is okay, you can trust me, cross my heart
and hope to die. Look. P Diddy is no fighter
and no fighter though I believe you gotta know a fighter,
and he's not a fighter. He is a pretend lover
because he would love anything that would grub up against him.
As you know.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
Can I ask you this in this building, of all
the people that you have met now in the iHeart family,
who do you think is a fighter?

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Out of everybody that I met in the iHeart Ye's
a hell of a lot of people here.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
People here.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
Yeah, a lot of old people, you know who if
they swung one time, they probably fall apart. They'd be
in a long term senior citizen home unit for rehab.
And then I've also popped that question that had popped
you Gandhi first, Dare I met you outside of the
massive studios of the iHeart combined? Tell you like me, Gandhy,

(34:48):
would you take a bullet for me?

Speaker 2 (34:50):
And you said hell no, That answer stands, Curtis so
with power.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
One O five. I gotta worry that they might be
the ones trying to cap me. I gotta watch my back.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
I don't even know who's the fire in the building.
Who can fight? Is that your way of saying you
don't want to answer.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
I haven't met enough yet. I really don't think any
of them are stone cold fighters, mad dog killers. Not yet.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
Yeah, I don't think we have any.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
No, I think some of the guests us. I've seen
some of the guests. They come in with an entire
entourage to go. I'm in the bathroom right, I'm in
front of the men's urinal I'm trying to find by
thing with a red scared microscope. They come in, they
got these beefy guys there. You know, it's like, who
the hell are they? Right? You would think I'm the

(35:36):
one that needs security, right, I've been shot five times
at hollow point bullets. But that's part of me having
an entourage. You come in, you roll strong, and they
look at me and they say what are you doing here?
And naturally I turned to them and said, no, no, no, no, no,
what are you doing here? This is the house sleewa.
Just remember that. I don't think they like a white

(35:56):
boy talking to them like that.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
Probably not. Let me ask you this about your coworkers
over there, speaking of the bathroom, you have multiple coworkers
who I have watched walk into the bathroom with no
shoes on. Why with know what shoes? No shoes on?

Speaker 1 (36:15):
Because they're freaking hillbillies. The freaking Hillbillies. You know where
they're from, Classic rock Jim Kurr's coup.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
Jim Carr wears shoes in the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (36:25):
Well, some of his crew doesn't. And then of course
you got light rock or whatever they call that.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
You know what, You're not anybody but your crew, Curtis,
your crew goes into that bathroom no shoes.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
They wear rock ports.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
I don't know what is that.

Speaker 1 (36:38):
That's for old people.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
Okay, so they can't wear their corns.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
Start acting up? Man, you haven't seen the corns on
some of these old people's feet. I don't want to
see it, but I will tell you this. Even though
there are times that my spleen is ready to explode.
When I go into that men's bathroom and somebody is
in the middle stall. There are only three for the men.

(37:03):
I would rather end up soiling myself then go into
this stall next to them. I got it. I don't
know it's a predilection. I just I can't be in
a stall next to a guy who's in the next stall.
So if you've ever gone, like on a long road
trip New Jersey Turnpike Cano, they have all those rest stops,
they got twenty eight stalls there. And if all of

(37:25):
a sudden, I'm ready and there's a guy that I
just something stops me. It's like I'm having a peanut
butter sandwich, you know, Jiffy sandwich, and I get constipation.
That's my cure. I don't know what it is. I
can't get myself to go into that stall next to
somebody who's already doing their duty learn a lot about you.
Is this something wrong with that? People have said, Man,

(37:46):
you're a freaking wido when it comes to that.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
See, here's where I feel like you and Diamond could
actually have like a full conversation about this, because I
don't know if she feels the same way or not,
or if there are bathroom rules.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
Or not for her.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
Why does it when I leave the stall here? When
I leave the stall here at iHeart yeah, which had
some of the best bathrooms that have ever been built? God, Okay,
why do people come in with lifesoil after I've left
and make sure that they sway it down?

Speaker 2 (38:12):
Well, we just found out what we were doing in
there on it up obviously.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
Yeah. But Diamond, you don't light sooil. You know that's
a stigma that's suggesting that I could be carrying all
kinds of infectious diseases.

Speaker 3 (38:25):
Well, maybe it smells like you are after you leave.
Maybe you blew it up.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
Let me ask you a question, Yes, is that the
reason that you're so far away from me when we
do this podcast because you can't stand this stink?

Speaker 3 (38:40):
No, I stay far away from you so that the
camera never gets both of us in the same shot.
Because you say shit sometimes that. I'm like, I'm not
getting canceled with him?

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Are you racious? You don't want to be seen? Here
we go, Here we go. Turn it on the block. Woman,
I gotta play that card. I got you gotta you
gotta tell it. We're in an age of diversity.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
No, I think it might have been all the fried
chicken comments.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
What I mean, what.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
Sometiming like specifically today? What would get you canceled being
the same shot with Curtis?

Speaker 3 (39:14):
Well, you're talking about Brownsville again.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
I love browns Yeah, I know I was there for
old time to say I was looking for you you.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
No, I was not there because I'm not an old timer.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
Oh that's true.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
I don't know any of those.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
No, you gotta be seventy five plus to cut the
grape for that. I mean, they would do it rap
songs like way back when there was sugar Hill. I said, man,
I didn't even know you could remember those words.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Okay, did you remember the words oh and.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
Hip hop himmity himmity, hip hop hip hit. The answer
is no, but remember I love Grand Master Flashing and
Furious five, the greatest rap song ever. The message, Hey.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Who did you have text her Yeah, old timers was
gave someone her phone?

Speaker 1 (40:01):
Yes it is. I'll show it to you. I have
two phones, Oh my god, two phone because well, drug
dealers have two phones. But it's not like the former
mayor Swaggerman with no plan, Eric Adams, who had seven
burner phones. So this, as you can see, must have
been the original iPhone.

Speaker 2 (40:18):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (40:19):
Yeah that's old school.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
Oh my god. It has the home button.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Yeah, exactly the original iPhone. This is gonna be in
the Smithsonian Institute of Watching it right now. Why do
you have? And this I used for my first campaign
in twenty twenty one, and as soon as I lost
to Eric Adams, didn't I say he'd be corrupt? Then
I say, man, he was gonna be whining, dining and

(40:42):
pocket lining. Nobody listening to me. I used it for
my second campaign against Andrew Evilized Cuomo and Zora Mandabi
and I've kept it ever since. And I texted you
on the premium phone and is she going?

Speaker 3 (40:56):
Who is Yes?

Speaker 2 (40:57):
Who is the number?

Speaker 1 (40:59):
But you didn't respond on I said, Curtis, no, you
did not hold on. Let me let me I'm gonna read. No,
I need my eyeglasses. I co busted you. Hold on it, said, man,

(41:20):
I'm telling you.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Why do I feel like it's sitting in they on
the outside, It says who this?

Speaker 1 (41:31):
Yes, that means that you're okay. It starts there's a
picture of me with the old timers on the stone.
I say, where is Diamond with eyes white boy in
the mill? And she responds Curtis please to exclamation points.
And then I say, Diamond is am I A? And

(41:51):
then like she doesn't know, she goes, who is this?

Speaker 3 (41:54):
Because I didn't know who it was? You think this
was a I thought that you gave someone number I
do that.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
I don't know. You shock me.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Everything you do shocks I wouldn't give it to a
bill collector. I wouldn't give it to anybody. Diamond. I
would take your and Gandhi's personal information in my grave.
Thank you. You know I'm surprised to you after I
send the picture of me at old timers.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
How are we supposed to know? You have two phone?

Speaker 3 (42:22):
Right? And also I was thinking maybe I know this
person and they just have a new phone, Like I
don't know, I don't know me.

Speaker 1 (42:29):
Does anybody? Look who else? At the age of seventy
two walks around with a red beret and a red
shat team.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
Yeah, I know, but I thought the person was taking
a picture of you and sending it to.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
Oh you see, you see this is an indication Gandhi
and they are nefarious people out there who It's like
that TV show, remember fishing MTV CA Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Oh fishy, yes, fishing that.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
She thought there was somebody and a catfish. And I
will tell you I love catfish. When I travel across
the state of Arkansas. I'm listening to AM radio. On
the left side, there the black reverence, a dollar, a hollow,
geez uts. And then I go to the right side,
they're the white Holy rollers. Geez and catfish balls, catfish

(43:21):
on his stick, catfish everywhere bottom feet is trathe. I
loved it there. But somehow, some way I took this
as a dis in dismissed. You got to tell people
when you have a second phone.

Speaker 3 (43:34):
Yeah, how was I supposed to people?

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Have you done that?

Speaker 1 (43:36):
Drug dealers have too? Fon?

Speaker 2 (43:38):
Are you a drug dealer?

Speaker 3 (43:39):
No?

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Absolutely not, just because I have two phones. And by
the way, this is gonna be you know when I die. Yeah,
you never know when that happens. You know how much
this will go for the original iPhone. Look look at
how badly beaten up it dropped from forty feet when

(44:03):
I was on a fire escape jumping from roof to
roof and going.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
On a fire escape jumping from roof to roof. At
how old were you?

Speaker 1 (44:11):
A's a tar beach, you know, and the summer, you know,
it gets hot. It's cooler upstairs on the tar beach
than it is inside the tenements. And I was up
four flights on the fire escape and it fell straight
down into that alleyway and it took a licking and
came back. Ticket.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
You are like Spider Man. Actually, Curtis, you scare me.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
I'm terrified of you. There are people who probably have
nightmares with you in him because you never know what's
coming next. And everything that comes out of your mouth
is like what like what I'm in?

Speaker 1 (44:48):
It is a stream of consciousness, you see, it is
a stream.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
It is consciousness.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
I don't think about it beforehand, Okay, we know, just
let it flow. Let it flow like this cyclospora just flowing.
Oh that reminds wait.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
Wait, diamond, before you go, yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
That reminds me here. I went out of my way.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
I don't want to talk about Please lesson, Curtis.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
I brought you those super crunchy tacos.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
They were not crunchy in the slightest. We told you, okay,
you were nice enough to try and poison us under
the guise of being nice. Right, he was like, I'm
gonna bring your tacos. We're gonna save Taco bell. He
wanted us to all get an explosive diarrhea.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
Did you not see the video that accompanied it? I
ate the first Yeah, I saw that, Yeah, but so
ate that at two PM.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
Purchased those tacos at two PM, and then gave them
to us at four a m. In a bowl of lettuce,
a pair of.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
Lettuce.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
You put it in tainted lettuce, and then you left
us these tacos. I don't know why you thought we
were gonna eat them. Those things were like case ideas
by the time they came here. So you know what
we did.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
You're so ungrateful. Although I will state you America loves
Taco Bill. We must come to Taco Bells eight. They've
had in the past, Salmonila and I stood with him.
They've had in the past Eco light and I stood
with this.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Maybe they need to improve a little bit. Listen, any
people love Taco Bell.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
When you don't have when you got ten bucks in
your pocket, you can have a meal at Taco Bell.
You can't even have an old dirve anywhere else for
ten bucks.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
This is fair.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
We much Taco Bell.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Doesn't ry to die in Taco Bell. You're trying to
poison us. I don't know what's going on over there.
You tried to poison us. We pivoted, We ducked in dots,
We ordered our own and then we ate them.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
And we acted like we because you know I'm not
turning when I roam the streets on the Duke's forty
second Street, Times Square, you know there's a Taco Bell
that's opened all night at forty with alcohol. Oh man,
let me tell you something.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Why are you roaming Times Square in the middle of night?

Speaker 1 (46:53):
Because I got to get some food before I come
here for old persons radio at w O wat.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Man, we near sleep.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
Sleep, plenty of time to sleep when I'm.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
Dead, Lord Almighty, because that's all they do.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
When you die and you're a cadaveran from old Hide,
they cover you. They put you in a box. They
give you half a suit, half the shoes. You didn't
know that. Right at a funeral Paula half suit, half dressed,
half shoes, and then they closed the casket. That's it,
lights out your sleep forever. And did I ever tell
you the time my kumata set uh that you know

(47:29):
what a kumata set is. Kumoto set is like a
blood relative. She had a funeral, Paula, right down Liberty
Avenue in East New York, and she said, one yown.
She wanted me to see what they were doing in
the back, washing the bodies, preparing it, you know, to
be put out at the wake. And back then in
the sixties, you didn't talk at the wake. All the
Italian women were the man sh So I'm back there

(47:54):
and I'm noticing there's a double casket, and I said,
kumado set it. What's the double casket? Cheat? The cheat
east of forswe y'all. I had come across what they
did with bodies from organized crime. So the top casket

(48:15):
was the person who was to have the weak. The
bottom casket they put the guy who got whatcked. So
when they were carrying the casket out of the place
where the wake was to the church. They had eight
guys instead of the normal six. That's how you knew
there was another body underneath what you didn't know that

(48:37):
they called it. It's like when you go to London,
right and you have the double decker buses called the
double decker casket.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
But why.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
Because organized crime was able to hide their victims in
a double decker casket.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Victims? Yeah, okay, I was trying to figure out.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Now, I was supposed to take the Code of Omerica.
I was never supposed to tell that story. Who might
have said this no longer here la mess in trouble.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
Curtis Diamond to me, are you bringing us down?

Speaker 1 (49:12):
And wait to say? You want to go to Trenchtown
in Jamaica week we can talk trash to the shower, Pasa,
I don't want to come on and we'll get some
Colla Lou while we're there. Come on some Colu Lou
in this color Lou.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Come on, I do I love it.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
By the way, you want that imploding bowel disease, Just
have a few bowls at Colon Lou. That strange spinach
with the oxtail, I mean, all the other ingredients really good.
I had to live on colon lou.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
Listen, we told you my mother in law.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
How can I say no?

Speaker 2 (49:53):
We were supposed to talk for twenty five minutes and
it's been like an hour. And I just have one
question that I really wanted you to address with Diamond,
because we do need to get her own. Love is
blind and I want to know from you, Curtis, what
type of guy you would like to pair Diamonds with
if you had your pick. Who's Diamond's life?

Speaker 1 (50:20):
Well? First all, if I am correct about this Netflix program, right,
it's speed dating, right, speed dating. They got you in
the pod, they got the govn in the pod, and
then they do a shittah like a matchmaker and they
put you together real quick and you have to the

(50:41):
chemistry's got to be there right from the jump or
like lated for that. Right, Well, a lot about this show,
right about that? So knowing Diamond, she has a series
of certain let me just say, eccentricities.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
Oh does she what are these eccentricities?

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Eccentricity?

Speaker 2 (51:00):
Yeah, what are they?

Speaker 1 (51:01):
She has a very high opinion of herself.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
That's good.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
Yeah, she thinks she's a queen. Yeah, well black women do,
except she is inn s w A you know what
that is? You got it? Yeah, So now this is
gonna make it difficult. It's gonna make it difficult. First
of all, a black guy's probably not gonna wanna be

(51:25):
dealing with you because you'll know all their tricks and
s WA's ain't gonna put up with that crap.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
You think a black guy's not gonna want to deal
with Diamond because she's too well versed.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
No, no, too hip to the line, you understand, Okay,
too hip to the smooth operators. Okay, Now she don't
want to be with an oke dookie hillbilly either. Man.
It's like, oh, that's too beneath the queen.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
She don't like hillbilly.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
So it's like we need a combination of somebody who's multiracial.
It's a good description of them. Okay, okay, got a
little bit of Caribbean West Indian action, but you might
be honest something so far, but has to be cultured too.
Can't be a barbarian, you know, talks trash flexes and

(52:10):
has tattoos, especially if they're dark skin, and I know
they have these like Chinese tattoos. That says, f you,
white boy, because I know Chinese. I know they do
that and everybody, I'm just saying, I'm trying to find them.
I'm trying to be your match maker doing a ship.
That's that means when you bring them together.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
Something I think of.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
You gave me a little bit of time. I could
do you justice. A queen needs to be done justice.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
We've got a biracial Caribbean guy with no Caribbean.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
You know, Caribbean is more Hispanic, West Indian is more black,
sort of combination of the two. But no tattoos, no
tats man. That's Doug. That's Doug life. Now that she
she ain't gonna be hanging with no thug. Can't get
me hanging with no doune. A little bit of an
accent that you're making so much, but maybe English, proper English,

(53:12):
you know where they don't move the top live. Yes,
I'm getting quite a picture of a person that you're building.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
So we need a British guy.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
And may not have yet been a person on Mother
Earth that matches that description, but I'm promising you done
because that's the perfect name for you. Diamond, Yes is
a gem. We love her that you can't accept. No shlub.
You can't accept no oracle or no fuddy duddy white

(53:42):
boy out there. It's gotta be I gotta work on this.
I gotta and you're not just gonna be sitting on
the sidelines.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Absolutely. I think I think I know what Diamond is into.
So I think I could really help you out.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
You really do well. How come you ain't giving me a.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Clue because I wanted to hear your version.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
You need to help. We're a partner in this.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
Diamond does like maybe a little bit of an accent.
She's really into footballers lately, like maybe, oh what.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Kind of footballers are we talking? Rugby? Uh? You talking
American smash mouth football? Don't tell me soccer? That breaks
my heart. But I hear you.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
I hear you, Okay, So like you know, some culture,
a little a good athlete. She wants a little money
in his pocket and some education. She wants him to
be fun and he can be a little chubby.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
She likes wit. Wait, I got it home now, Oh god,
you got it Paris?

Speaker 2 (54:40):
Really?

Speaker 1 (54:41):
She went to Paris not long ago, the greatest city
in the world history every five sick.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
I'm so shocked to hear you say that.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
No air conditioning though, so you're in terrible shape yet
of summer. And if they tell you gold swim in
the River Shane, it's like Peppi lapew, remember the.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Old like the men's bathroom around right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
I think we start in Parry, okay, weather it's fine.
Oh wow. No, we ain't taking you to Bosnia, Herzegovia
or Serbia Albania.

Speaker 3 (55:16):
Let's start in the UK.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
The UK. Okay, we ain't taking you to Scotland. No,
we ain't taking you to Edinburgh. We're not taking you
to No, no, no, no, we're not taking you to
Cardiff in Wales.

Speaker 3 (55:32):
Oh why not?

Speaker 1 (55:34):
Now they get drunk real quick, sloppy drunk. So no Scotland, No,
Northern Ireland, No, no, no, no, that ain't your speed.
They don't like black people in Northern Ireland. Wow, don't.
But I think out of all the places of them,
the West Midlands, the Bullpen area, Birmingham.

Speaker 3 (55:57):
Like a Jude Bellingham but like ten years old.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
Yes, yeah, Basil Heath. Did I ever tell you what
it was there for? Now?

Speaker 2 (56:08):
What were you there for?

Speaker 1 (56:09):
Then we gotta go? So I walk into this pub
and you know Muslims are not supposed to be drinking,
and that's one thing they absconde from drinking. I'm with
the Shiri Punjab who were like part Muslim, part Hindu.

(56:29):
They're like totally drunk. And they had called me up
from London and they said, we want you to organize
us as guardian angels because there are nefarious young men
who are snacking on our ladies. And I said, okay,
show me the area basil Heath old fashioned red light

(56:49):
district where the ladies of the night would actually be
in the window of their home with a red light on.
So it was not a very good area, but there
were a lot of good people who lived in that area.
And I led the Shery pon Job. I think we
could hook her up with a member of the Shery
pun Job community because they're not totally chased, but they're

(57:13):
not excessive.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
The Sikhs are these the Sikhs seek people.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
They're a combination. Okay, so seeks of fierce, yeah they are.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
They carry those knives, they get that long pretty hair.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
Some of them are Muslim, some of them are Hindu.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
No seeks are seeks.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Yeah, well, they're different than the Hindus. They believe in
one god. The Hindus believe in like Tendred and fifty
two gods, which you're aware of. Yes, but I think
the sery poon job because they were like they will
relish being in the circum I would say circumference of
the Queen Diamond.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
That's right, all right, Diamond, Curtis. Are you going to
keep a lookout for.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
This man for Diamond. Yeah, we've stayed in touch. Yes,
the cheery pun job. OK. I am telling you, Diamond,
I have found your calling. There is a person there
in that community that is waiting for you. They love
what you call football, I call week. The imitation of
American smash mouth football. Would have made it easier if

(58:13):
you would have just said American smash mouth foots on
real football. But since you like soccer, man, that's the
epicent the bullpen. Birmingham, not Manchester, not Leads, not London.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
Okay. So here's the thing. We have a we have
a lot to work on. We have your one man show, Yes, we.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
Have that, a four four four four four four four
four four.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
Four game higher Broadway one man show on Broadway. We
have your Guardian Angels show created by lin Manuel Nolreda
we have to get you on Dancing with the Stars.
And now hear me out, Curtisly one match.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
Maker, Curtisly, that's right, we'll do a ship a match maker.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
I get a new microphone.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
Now all uh, you got nothing on, Curtis Fleua. I
could be the greatest matchmaker of all times. Look, I've
had enough failed marriages and relationships that I know all
the pitfalls to avoid. Diamond.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
Yeah, we're gonna have to get to that in another episode.

Speaker 1 (59:13):
It could be the counselor.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
Okay, all right, we've talked for far longer than Andrew
is gonna be happy with. He's gonna yell at us.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
I don't care. So what do you mean he's gonna
yell at you? It gets this is the sauce on
the side with Getty. I know both of you. You
you are, you are the uh straw that stirs the drink.
Here ats E one hundred.

Speaker 2 (59:38):
Right, that's right, Curtis. But Andrew gets a little bossy
pants sometimes.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
Female power Yes, sisters in solidarity with the biggest s
w A. I've ever met my life sister with an attitude.
Diamond and Gandhi who tries to be everything to everybody,
but I will one day in one of these podcasts
Expose you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Bring it on, baby, I'm ready. If people want to
find you online, where are they going to find you?
Do you remember your Instagram anything?

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Curtis Slia, however you do that? What do you do?
You could tell me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Instagram, Instagram, your Instagram?

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
Ex Ellen Moss Facebook for the sixty five plus crowd,
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Know what your Facebook is, China. You're not on TikTok,
are you?

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
Of course? In the hell substack? You know all those things?

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
You're on substack?

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
Yeah? I right?

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
Oh my lord, you know I know.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
Yeah, you're wondering, like, what does he do it with? Crayon?

Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
No, I'm not gonna read this stuff now. I know
on Instagram you are at Curtis leiwa for Mare. That
is your Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
I do know that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
So you can find Curtis there or at w R
in the mornings Core.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
I give you a sixty five plus.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
That's where you go, okay, and if you're not, then
you listen to us.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Hey, come on, man, you gotta go with Sauce on
the side with God, Me and you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
You're part of this. By the way, we have a
differ name for just the three of us. We'll get
to that at some point. Oh, it's our own podcast, Curtis.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
We just put this graphic up because do I get
to participate in that?

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
What do you mean we asked you to be here?

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
Does estrogen outweigh my testostery? Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
That absolutely, You've been overruled already, Diamond. If people want
to find you on Instagram, where can they find you?
Just yell it at a Diamonds sincere and I am
at Baby Hot Sauce like follow subscribe. We appreciate it.
Please leave us a talkback.

Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
You know how to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
You know what talkbacks are? You guys use those over there?

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Uh? You mean with the old people.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
So talkbacks are basically voicemails that people can leave you
on the iHeartRadio app. They can push a little microphone
and they can leave you a message and then you
can get it and you can play it back later.

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
That's that's sophisticating for me. I don't know if I'd
be able to find my way through that app.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
I believe you. But if you want to leave us
a talkback, we're gonna show Curtis how this works.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
So please please leave US talkbacks. Please meant to me
in that because nobody has been able to do that yet.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Has anyone tried? Yes, okay, all right, we're gonna have
to figure this out, all right, Thank you, Curtis.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
Until next time. I can't wait for the next seat.
Oh god, this is just a warm up a morning
come okay, goodbye,