Do You Think Love is Really Blind?

In this episode, Gandhi sits down with Jess from Love is Blind Season 10 to talk about her life after one of the most jaw-dropping moments the show has ever had. Does she regret doing reality TV, how has it impacted her career as a doctor, and what is life like now?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
On the side. What's up?

Speaker 2 (00:04):
It's gone, and I am here with my very I
guess I can't speak either, my very congested buddy Diamond, Hello, Hi, Oh.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
There it is.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
I can hear it a little bit. You said, you
sound like you have a phisimo.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah, it's one of those things where like if I laugh,
where our cough is like it's very disgusting.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
So I realized in scaring Scottie as often as I do,
when I laugh really hard, I can't breathe and it
comes out as one of those it's always a weez
and when you slow it down it sounds like seagulls ew. Yeah,
it's not great. But when I am really laughing, nothing
is coming out. It's it's incredible stuff. Oh my god,
I saw this challenge we should do. Oh oh did

(00:42):
you see on TikTok and said release all of your
breath and try to scream.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
So hold on, I got a call for you. Go okay,
ah oh, I can do it. We did much better
than all the guys did in the videos.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
There was a lot of like, hey, I don't even
think maybe not, I'll try it again. Ah, I don't
want to get everyone here to do it.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
We should so anyway, this podcast is.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Gonna be a fun one. I don't know if you
watched Love Is Blind or not, but this season was incredible.
I know you did Diamond, and by incredible, I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
It was I will stick to it.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
It was a season of pretty solid women and a bunch.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Of loser dudes.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I mean in every way that a dude can be
a loser, and not because they weren't attractive. They were
just terrible personalities, terrible presence, terrible vibes and energy. I
don't think any of them had a real job anywhere.
It was in essence, a lot of boys dating women
were trying to date women, and you see a lot

(01:58):
of the conflict that arises from it.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
The biggest stories in all of this.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Was a girl named Jess and a guy named Chris,
and I will give you a quick.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Synopsis of what happened. She is a doctor.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
She is an infectious disease doctor, so she has a
big girl job and she's beautiful and incredible. We're still
not one hundred percent sure what Chris does or did.
We're gonna hopefully she'll be able to shed some light
on that when we talked to her, but Chris, this
little turd who genuinely and I know, you know, you
don't talk about people's looks, but this is all very
centered around looks. Chris looked like a human version of

(02:34):
the elf on the shelf.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Oh wow, you know I'm right.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
This guy who had a hot doctor not only tried
to hit on another woman who was part of the
cast once they actually met in real life, but he
then told the hot doctor who we're going to talk
to soon, miss Jessica, that things just kind of were
getting a little weird for him and he wasn't sure
if he was as into it physically because he's just,

(03:01):
you know, used to being with.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Girls who do pilates every day. That's sick. Jess is
hot hot.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
The fact that he decided to say that to somebody
in on national TV with cameras rolling was diabolical, and
his behavior ever since has been even worse. But Jess
was the breakout star shining moment of Love is Blind
season ten, which was in Columbus, Ohio. I went to
Columbus because you still live there, my sister is still there,
and I got to sit down with Jess and have

(03:28):
a whole conversation about this season and what she's up
to now because she is kind of a bad bitch
and we love her, so I say, we just get
to it. I am here with my girl Jessica from
Love is Blind Season ten in Columbus, Ohio. Hello, Hello,
how are you? I am doing really well.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
How are you?

Speaker 4 (03:50):
I'm great. I'm a little busy, but I'm good busy
because you're a doctor.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, hot, doctor man.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
I don't even know where to start with this. So
if you did not watch the season of Love is Blind,
I highly recommend watching it. I actually had kind of
fallen out of love with the show a little bit,
just because there were a couple of seasons that I
thought were boring and like whatever. And then came Columbus
and I wanted to watch it because I have such
deep roots here in Columbus, and I was flabbergasted. I mean,

(04:18):
my flabbers are still gasted from how this season actually went,
because what the fuck?

Speaker 1 (04:24):
I don't Okay, So.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
One, I think that this season of women were pretty incredible.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
There were a lot of good choices.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
I do have some thoughts after watching the reunion on
some of the people, but we'll we'll get to that
in a minute the season of men, what happened Columbus
has better to offer and the surrounding areas have better
to offer than whatever happened this season.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
That was insane.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
I totally agree. I know lots of great, great men
in Columbus.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yes, so many, and I was like, this is the
best you could come up with. So if you didn't
watch this season again, it was really fascinating. But Jess
had one of the more fascinating storylines. And it is because,
as my boyfriend said, you were the hottest, best package
on the whole show.

Speaker 4 (05:07):
Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
I know. I was like, oh, okay, I love it.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
And you coupled with a person named Chris. I was
gonna say a gentleman, but that's being too nice and
he's not a gentleman. So you matched with Chris. You
guys fell in love in the Pods. He proposes, and
then you go to Mexico and things got weird in Mexico?

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Is that where it got weird?

Speaker 4 (05:27):
I was still pretty normal in Mexico, to be guss
with you, Okay, he was acting pretty normal, wasn't saying
anything odd, wasn't acting weird until we got back.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Oh but when you got back, it got weird pretty quickly, Yeah,
very quickly. To you what got weird quickly? Had just his.

Speaker 4 (05:42):
Behavior got really weird. So we had only been home
for like a few days, like the conversation on the
couch happened. I think three days after we got back.
Like this was all very very quick.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
That conversation on my couch, on your couch caused the
conversation on my couch. Because I'm gonna bring my boyfriend
back into this first. He is like mister sports. He
doesn't really watch any reality TV or scripted TV at all,
but he does watch Love on the Spectrum, Love Love, Love.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
That show.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
He's obsessed with it, and he watches Love Is Blind
because I forced him to.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
And when that scene on the couch happened, I looked
at him and his jaw was wide open. He said,
what is this a joke? Is it? Aprilfols? Like, what
is happening right now?

Speaker 2 (06:23):
And what happened on the couch is long story short,
and we don't need to belabor the point. But Chris, dorky,
little Chris basically said to you, this isn't working out.
I'm used to dating women who do pilates every day.
And physically we're just not compatible. Correct to the hottest,
best package on the entire show with his bright red cheeks,
And that is how he essentially ended things. Well you
ended things, I guess after that. Once he said that

(06:44):
the next day good, So there was no thought in
your head We're going to keep this going.

Speaker 4 (06:47):
Oh god, No. I actually had a moment the next
day because I was going to come in and do
my exit interview. I was like, oh shit, like he
actually doesn't know that, Like I never want to speak
to him again. I can't we tell him that. That's
literally how the conversation happened.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Well, that conversation happens, and I have to give you
all the credit in the world because I thought you
handled it so well, thank you, Versus I would have
just I think I would have either started laughing in
his face and been like, are you fucking serious right now?
Or cried or had some sort of outbursts. I don't know,
but you just kind of smiled and nodded and were like, oh, okay,
that's not really how I feel about it.

Speaker 4 (07:21):
Very clear, very quickly what was going on. And it
was just like I think after years of life and
relationships and understanding people's motivations. I was just immediately like, ooh,
I know where this is going. We're not doing this
good for you, And so that's why I just left
and I knew, you know. I called my parents, said
give me my dogs, took my ring off, and went

(07:41):
about my day.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Took the ring off. Oh yeah, don't you get to
keep it if you want to?

Speaker 4 (07:44):
Yep, I have it.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
Oh good, amazed? What are you gonna do with it?

Speaker 4 (07:49):
I kind of want to like see if we could
auction it off for a charity, maybe like give some
money to like a female empowerment thing or like girl
body positivity. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Cool.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
If people would be like interested and would give money
for that, I would love that because it's obviously just
sitting in a box.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
We should put this event together as soon as we're
finished with this podcast, because I think there's a lot
of really cool stuff you could actually do with that. Yeah,
and I bet there are a bunch of other women
in the world who have dealt with something like this
from essentially a boy who is trying to date a
full grown woman and realizes I'm not capable of doing this,
and instead of just acknowledging I'm not in a place

(08:27):
I need to be to be with you because you're amazing.
I'm gonna make you feel like shit about yourself. I
think we see that a lot. I think it's happening
a lot more than I had ever seen in the past.
I think it's kind of there's been this weird shift
agree in relationships.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
And it's funny how much I like the reaction of
your boyfriend. How many like Cishat men have said this
to me because they don't they're not in those spaces
unless they're the ones saying it. That all of these
men are like, holy shit, he said that to you.
I'm like, this is not an anomaly, Like I'm afraid.
I'm sorry to tell you, but this is what men
are saying to women all over the place. You're just

(09:03):
never in the room.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
It's in God the room, Thank God.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
And you know, I love I loved that my boyfriend
was so baffled by it, and I loved that he's
not one of these people and is truly stunned at
the fact that people like this exist because he's like.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
What is he doing? He was so mad. He's not
happy about this, But you've shot this show. How long ago.

Speaker 4 (09:22):
Oh over a year ago. Over a year ago.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
So you've been done with this, you've got over it,
and now the show comes out and you have to, unfortunately,
go through all of this all over again.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
Right.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
And we talked to a lot of artists on our show,
like musical artists, and that's sort of the same thing
as when they release an album. You know, they wrote
those songs because they were in a certain place so
long ago, and then they go to production and it
goes through all of the edits, and now they release
it and now they have to take themselves back to
that time.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
How are you doing with that? It's hard.

Speaker 4 (09:52):
I think about Taylor Swift all the time. I'm like
a huge Swifty of course, I'm like so basic. I
think she's amazing and she really writes from her heart
and so and I went to the Aras tour and
it was, you know, just watching her retell these stories
of so long ago and like people that hurt her
that I'm sure she's like, I couldn't give a shit
about them anymore, but you know, she can still feel it,

(10:13):
and she can still tell the story and we can
feel it, and so to have everyone else like live
it for the first time while I'm reliving it, even
though I was done with it so long ago. Has
been kind of bizarre, and I haven't even likened it
to that. But that's such a good example because there's
not a lot of other situations where that happens right
where you have to kind of like go back through

(10:35):
and we rewatch it.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
And I can only imagine that once you heal from
something and you're like, I'm good and this is fine,
and then boom here it comes again. That's gonna be
a little tough in some ways, and then everybody wants
to talk to you about the same thing, right And you
and I were talking a little bit before this interview,
and your question was how much do we really have
to talk about Chris? And my answer was as much
as little as you want to, because Chris and all
of this isn't really the story. No, I think the

(10:58):
story is boys trying to date women. The story is
the manisphere that has started to exist, the level of
delusion that I think a lot of these people have,
and reality TV and how real is it? Which I'm
finding out from you, it's pretty real.

Speaker 4 (11:11):
How unfortunately for me?

Speaker 2 (11:14):
I mean, I guess it's like a spectrum, right, because
we know that there are some that are very scripted,
but this seems like it was Nope, this is exactly
how all that went down. So for you, do you
think that in any way the producers have any type
of culpability when it comes to the way that they
cast these men.

Speaker 4 (11:32):
That's a totally fair question given how everything like played out.
I also think that when people apply, when people interview,
they're showing their best selves. And yes they do like
criminal background checks and things like that, but the things
that maybe come to light later wouldn't necessarily be picked
up on those things. So it's hard. I mean, how
many of us have been fooled by somebody, whether it's

(11:53):
in a romantic relationship or a platonic relationship, every day seriously,
so how are they I know people are like, come on,
get better people whatever. I really believe that they're like
doing their best to get the best possible people and
that they're trying to find people that will do well together.
I just think it's hard. I think that if you
ask anyone who's dating, they feel the same way.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Like you get bamboozled for sure, And there was a
lot of bamboozling this season and till I saw this
episode with you and Chris, to me, Alex was the
biggest dork of the whole crew, Like he clearly made
up so many different aspects of his life, and I thought, Wow,
what a dork he's sitting there talking about like he's
basically like a crypto bro. Yeah, I do this, I
do that, I've traveled here, I've done that. Nothing was
very consistent, and I thought, this guy is outrighteous And

(12:34):
then I saw what happened and I was like, so
there's another front runner. Then the reunion happens. And by
the way, spoiler alert, if you haven't seen the Reunion,
which I'm assuming if you're listening to this, you probably
have Davante and all of his bombs. I was like, what,
it's a.

Speaker 4 (12:48):
Lot for girls.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
It's a lot.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah, it really was a lot, And I just I
have to say I think the girls deserve better. But
I will also say I was quite disappointed with some
of the girls this season too, because I thought that
during the filming they put forth one version of who
they were. I'm very much a girl's girl, so I
will start there. I was really disappointed in Mexico. When
Chris was talking to them, their reactions, I mean, they

(13:13):
were like, Oh, don't you know what are you talking about.
It's not like she's obese, but take all the physical
stuff out of it. You're an amazing person. And to
be talking like that about somebody that you're dating to
other people who are all in that same situation, I
thought was very creepy and gross. And I really wanted
one person to be like, you are creepy and gross.
Shout out to Amber.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
Yes that's our girl.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, everyone needs an Amber in their life. Yeah, But
I didn't. I didn't like how that went. And then
in the reunion when we find out that some of
these girls were not being super honest with the other
girls on the show about traveling somewhere with their boyfriends,
it was a little disappointing.

Speaker 4 (13:49):
I wanted a lot of weird, uncomfortable situations, and I
will say that at the mixer when he was talking
to these other women, I do think that a lot
of it was just they were in shock and they
were like, you're on camera right now, and we had
already broken up at that point. That was the mixer,
that was a week after everything happened, and I was
completely done, hadn't spoken to him, otherwise had nothing to

(14:13):
do with him, and obviously had told the girls what happened.
I think they were I do think they were horrified.
I think that that is definitely true. I also think
that they were in a super awkward situation. And I
think even though we all would love to say, like,
well I would have done this, I would have done that. Sure,
it's super uncomfortable and it's a lot of pressure. Having
said that, you know, like I said at the reunion,

(14:34):
I was super sad. That was the thing that made
me the most sad because I was just like, man, like,
any of you could have said that's disgusting, please stop
Yambor walked away like but that was you know, that
was address We talked about that at the reunion.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
How close do you guys become during filming?

Speaker 4 (14:49):
Like crazy close because you spend every waking moment together.
These are really really long days in the pods and
the lounges filming everything, and then after the very very
long day, you go into a hotel room by yourself.
So the only like face to face human interaction you
have all day every day is like cast and crew.
And so you're speaking this with these women about really

(15:12):
heavy shit too, because we always say, you know, with
the guys, it's like almost all of a sudden, this
like intensive therapy of like being in the pods talking
about all this deep shit. Yeah, and they're like, oh
my gosh, like what is this? Whereas with women, I
think we're used to those conversations with each other constantly. Yeah,
And so when we would leave the pods, we would
then go like debrief with each other and continue to

(15:32):
have these like intense life conversations. So I know so
much about these women, they know so much about me,
and you just get close so quickly, and part of
it's definitely a trauma bonding like no, no, no question, but
it is you talk about stuff that you know. I've
heard multiple people say like I had conversations with the
girls that I had never had with my family or

(15:52):
my best friends, because it just brings all this stuff up.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
And you don't have your phones, you don't have an
access to did you have access to the internet?

Speaker 1 (15:59):
Do you have to so you don't even know.

Speaker 4 (16:01):
It's like a clock radio that worked. Sometimes what happens if.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Crazy breaking world news is going, which is every day
of our lives right now. But you didn't know, you
did not know, and this you said it was a
year ago, four weeks of your life and you're a doctor.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
How does that work out with work for you?

Speaker 4 (16:17):
That was crazy. So that was one of the big things.
I was like, there's no way I'm going to do this, Like,
there's no way I'm going to be able to do
this because of work. And that was one of my
like hopeful outs, I think because at first when they
approached me, I was like, there's no way, Like, you
guys have not done enough homework. You are not going
to be interested in me, Like this is not You're
not gonna walk me.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
So they came to you, yes, okay, we're gonna get
to that in a second, but continue.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
So they come to you and you're like what.

Speaker 4 (16:43):
Yeah, I'm like absolutely not, Is this a prank? Whatever?
And then they you know, had I agreed to a
phone call and they're very persistent, and I was like okay, fine,
like we can go into the next step whatever. And
I just kept thinking like something, obviously this is not
going to happen for one reason or the other. And
then when it got to a point where I was like,
I really need to talk to work like HR and
legal and everything. I was like, there's no way they're

(17:05):
going to be like are you crazy? You can't do this,
A you can't be gone, be like how can you
just like go on a reality show? And they were awesome.
They were supportive and they were like yeah, absolutely, like
good luck.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
I was like, oh no, oh my god, no, I
have to do it.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
So how did they even find you?

Speaker 4 (17:21):
They sent me an Instagram message? I got a message
from a casting person high page. I love her, but
I literally thought it was like a catfish, like I
didn't think it was real. And I don't even know
how she found me because I had a private Instagram
at that time. Wow, So I think maybe somebody. I
think that maybe sometimes they put feelers out and like

(17:43):
look for names locally, but I don't know.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Are you known for needing a boyfriend?

Speaker 4 (17:48):
I didn't think. So that's nuts.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
I thought, Wow, you come back to work now four
weeks later. How was the reception when you came back?
And then how was the reception once the show came out?

Speaker 4 (17:59):
So when I came back, nobody knew because it was
under an NDA, nobody had any idea what I had done.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
They just let you like left for four weeks.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:06):
I was like, oh, I'm going to, like what did
I even say? I was said like I was going
to like a yoga retreat, wellness retreat or something where
I wouldn't be able to have my phone, which is
like anybody that knows me shouldn't have believed that because
it's simply not me. But you know, people were just like, oh,
you had that like long trip. How was it. I
was like, Oh, it's great to be off my phone
for a while or whatever, and they had no idea

(18:26):
I had just like got engaged and broken up like
within like a week's time. It was just it was crazy.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
And then you're not going to explain that to anybody.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
So then the show comes out.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
I assume a ton of your coworkers were like, I'm
gonna watch this because my coworkers on it.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
How did that go?

Speaker 4 (18:41):
It's been interesting. So I was working when the show
first came out, and then I've been off for several weeks,
and then now I'm back to work, and now that
like the whole show has been shown and everything's out,
there's a lot more conversations, a lot more stopping in
the hall like, oh my god, we had no idea.
I was like, I know, I couldn't tell you.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
So not only are you now doing podcast interviews and
all kinds of different prince whatever it is talking about
what happened with person, you have to address it on
a person a person basis, right with everybody every day.

Speaker 4 (19:17):
Which is why I'm like every time I like, see
his face here, his name, Like I want to throw up,
Like that was like the one of the worst moments
of my life. Like, of course I'm not excited to
talk about it. And fortunately, I think with most people,
I'm so I'm very much myself. I'm very much an
open book, and so with most people that I'm close
enough to, I can just say that and be like, dude,
I'm just the last thing I want to hear her

(19:38):
talk about.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah, ever again, And in the grand scheme of your life,
it's such a blip on the roads. They're such a tiny, tiny,
little amount of time because it was one week within
four weeks or however long of filming, and now it's
done and it's a year ago, and you're like, yeah,
that was a wild ride, and it was crazy, but
I'm so over it, right and you have clearly moved
on to greener pasture.

Speaker 4 (19:56):
Yes, And that's the thing. It's like, I'm so happy
in life is so good right now. It's like, why
would I want to talk about that.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
So when we were watching it and we saw I
want to make sure I pronounce his name correctly. You
say it first. It's Harmle, like Caramel Carmel. When we
first saw Harmel, another hot doctor, the hottest, my boyfriend
and I were like, wait, why aren't they together?

Speaker 1 (20:16):
How did this not happen?

Speaker 4 (20:17):
That was my question?

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Did you talk in the pods? Yes?

Speaker 3 (20:19):
We?

Speaker 4 (20:20):
I was like for sure. I was like, Carmel's my person,
Like I'm leaving here with him, There's no question. He
was my number one, like the whole way through is
he Indian? And he is he Jobby? And then he left.
He hated the experience, he felt super uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Oh so he just didn't he left the he left
the pods.

Speaker 4 (20:37):
Yeah, And so I was like, Okay, you were wrong,
Like he didn't like you, like you liked him, Like
you totally misread that, like you know, try to go forward,
forget all of those feelings, like I guess I saw
how the processes, and I had no idea that he
actually did have feelings for me. He just didn't like
the situation and was like waiting for me to come out.

(20:59):
And then I came out, and he was like, what
the fuck.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
That's a bummer. Yes, and then you came out, and
I had an idea.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
So how did he initially reach out to you to reconnect?

Speaker 4 (21:08):
He reached out to me almost right away. But like
the other thing you have to understand about Harmel is
he is one of the kindest, most empathetic, most emotionally
intelligent people I've ever met in my life, maybe the most.
And I was like, of course he's reaching out to
make sure I'm okay. No, Like, he's just so kind.
And he he was messaging, you know, pretty consistently, just
seeing how I was. We're, you know, the only two doctors,

(21:31):
so asking about work, things like that, things that only
he really would understand, and you know, I just consistently
kept being like, man, what a nice guy, Like he's
really looking out for everyone, like he really cares whatever.
And then later he was nice, No, it was you.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
I was like, oh, he's like you think I'm just
that nice to everybody.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
He kind of is in my defense, Yes, so he
reaches out and then you guys go on a date. No,
it was like months and months and months where I
was like, oh, this is my buddy, Like we just
would send memes and like joke and send. It was
never like I didn't I didn't think it was flirty,
Like I didn't think anything he was saying was like
hitting on me. I was just like, that's my friend.

(22:09):
I have a lot of friends.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Wait, so you can you connected with him in the
pods you really liked him really, like you thought this
is my number one, Like I really like this guy.
Then he reaches out and you're like, we're just gonna
be friends.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
That's no, because I had already I was like, it
is necessary right now, I kill my feelings so that
I can move forward with this experience, okay, because I
also was like I just didn't think he had any
So I had already convinced myself of that, and I
had already been like, you can't feel like this.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
And then you guys end up hanging out and connecting,
and here you are and you've been dating now.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
For how long like four or five months and you
guys live.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
In the same city.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yes, you do the same thing with your lives, and
this is the way that it should have been. I know,
you yell at him about leaving the pods like this
is your phone?

Speaker 4 (22:46):
Well each other we yelled at each other because I like,
why did you leave? And he's like, why did you
get engaged? Because he liked I know.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
I know if this is a witch came first, I
blame him. Well.

Speaker 4 (22:57):
But then the thing is, like we both have and
we talked about regrets a lot. I'm always like I've
always had like that, you know, like that that flowery cliche, like, oh,
I don't want to regret anything, like I wouldn't be
who I am if I but like, of course I
wish it was him, Like of course I wish it
was him the whole time. And it just you know,
you talked about that recently, like we could have been
celebrating like our year anniversary, Like how crazy is that?

Speaker 1 (23:18):
But you will be I hope, so eventually you'll get
to a year.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
And I think it's funny that you said that thing
about regret and how you want to be, you know.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
That cliche.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
I have no regrets. I actually think that's a crazy thought.
To have no regret in life means you've not learned anything.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
Exactly, And that's what harm always says, Oh, should we date?
Y'all are just smarter me.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Yeah, no, I just I work with a couple of
people and one of them he says that all the time.
He's like, I have no regrets in my life, and
I'm like, then you've learned nothing. It doesn't mean you
have to be hung up on it and be sad
about it all the time. But that's how you learn
to not do the same thing and to not make
the same mistakes is by feeling bad about something and
regretting that thing, like it's totally okay. And people who
say they have no regrets in.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Their life sociopath right, is there crazy?

Speaker 4 (24:02):
Well, it's something that's like kind of cramped down our
throats for a long time, and like this is how
you can be happy, like you not have to worry
about it, just say you don't regret any of it.
But like that doesn't actually make sense.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
Of course I regret.

Speaker 4 (24:12):
Of course I wish that it was different.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
So speaking of that, would you looking back on it
now you do another reality show?

Speaker 4 (24:19):
I highly doubt it. It would have to be like
something very specific with somebody, right, I don't even know.
I don't even know what that would look like. And
it's a crazy it's so weird, Like I don't this
is so opposite of my normal life, Like I don't
even know what to do with any of this.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
Is it weird walking around Columbus Because Columbus isn't really
a town packed with celebrities and people who are on TV,
So I assume that you're a bit of a thing
at the moment and people probably stop you and try
to talk to you about things often.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
How is that?

Speaker 4 (24:53):
It's weird? It's very weird, but like everyone. That's the
other thing is we are in Columbus and everyone is
so nice and yes sweet, So it's not like I'm like,
oh my god, these people are crazy. Ever, it's every
it's always somebody being super super nice, so it's not
like it's been annoying or anything like that. Also, half
the time I'm like no makeup, in scrubs or jeans,

(25:13):
and like half the people don't even know who I am.
I took my extensions out for my vacation last week
and nobody knew who I was. It was great. I
went to Mexico.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
Oh we went back to the scene of the crime? Yeah, no, no,
can this time I went to Canton. Were you nervous
at all with all the unruss that has a.

Speaker 4 (25:29):
Little bit Like one of my really good friends was
in port over here that when like every everything went
down and that was really really scary, but thank god
he's okay, got out okay and everything. So I was
a little nervous, but we were, you know, stayed at
our spot the whole time. I was with a few
of my besties who I know will look out for me.
I'm like their little baby girl, so they make sure

(25:50):
I'm safe.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
So you're traveling, you're back to work. Yes, you're dating
the man of your dreams. Yes, things are going really
well for you. So this experience, though there was a
little blip, was overall pretty good.

Speaker 4 (26:02):
Yeah. I mean I think I would absolutely not have
changed doing it because I came out with some really
really amazing girlfriends and the most amazing man.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
Well, who are you closest to?

Speaker 4 (26:14):
My besties are like Kia, Emma, Brittany, I'm really close
with Amber. I also talked to Brie Thomas, a lot.
She wasn't on the show as much, but she's local
as well, and I love her.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
She's amazing. How is Amber doing.

Speaker 4 (26:29):
She's doing well. It was her birthday yesterday, Happy birthday, Amber.
She's doing great. I think all of this has been
really really hard. But if anybody can survive just about anything,
it's Amber. She's just such a strong, amazing woman and mom,
and she has so much to fight for and keep

(26:50):
going toward that. She's just focusing on.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
That and how how she lives a little bit outside
the city, right, maybe like forty five minutes.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Did you guys get to see each other off?

Speaker 4 (26:59):
Yeah, I'm here a lot. And then we had talked
about even going out there for her birthday just because
like we could bring her food or whatever, because Emma,
her daughter, obviously is out there and we all want
to hang with Emma too. So nice she comes in,
she'll stay at my place. Sometimes we'll do like girls'
nights and she'll just stay, or she'll she's really good

(27:19):
about coming in to meet us because it's not really
that far. It's like a forty minute drive or something.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
So after this experience, do you believe love is blind?

Speaker 4 (27:29):
I honestly don't know, and I should have a better
answer now because I've been.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Asked us a lot of you.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
I know, No, it's so smart, it's such a good question.
I really don't know. I don't in real life. No,
we know that it's not in that situation. I think
with the perfect scenario, when you have two people that
are good for this situation, that know exactly what they
want and align on things, it absolutely can be. Like

(27:56):
when you look at Christine and Vick perfectly set up,
like they were made for this show. And even when
I was going like through the very dark days right
after everything, when I was like, God, I wish this
hadn't even happened, I was like, but Christina beck like,
I will affably go through that again and again for
them to be together, you know what I mean. Like,
there's just there are certain situations I think that it

(28:18):
you know, it's only a small percentage of people it's
going to work out for, But for those that it
does work out for, it's kind of perfect.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
I was a little annoyed that they didn't send them
to Mexico just because they.

Speaker 1 (28:26):
Knew that they were a good couple.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
I know they actually went through the experiment and it
worked out the way it was supposed to, and they
were like, oh, because of that, you get to go
to California. Yeah, everyone else is going to Mexico. But yeah,
when you watch those two, it was like, oh, these
guys are all are the back and they get together.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
And do something. I don't think love is blind. I
think that love is blinding.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
I think that once you're with somebody and you really
like them and you care about them, and then all of
a sudden, all these flaws and the ax that we
talk about, it doesn't matter, yep, because now you're blinded
because you're in love. But I think that seeing somebody
and feeling the pheromones and the connection between the two
of you, that's unfortunately a very real thing. Yeah, and
love is not blind, but once you fall in love,
you're blinded. So very well said oh thanks, don't take

(29:08):
that anybody, No, Yeah, team, that.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Came from me.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
You know, we're watching it, obviously, you guys are there
four weeks and we watch an hour at a time,
so so much gets cut out and taken out of things.
But I think it's funny to be able to be like, yeah,
they're gona meet, They're not gonna like each other. I
know this, this is not gonna happen. Leo and Brittany.
That is the one that I'm always like that. It's
never the watch dealer just kept talking about the watches
or what the art. I'm sorry, the art. I think
a lot of us. I think a lot of us.

(29:33):
How close are all the cast members through different seasons?
So because you know, diamonds because of Monica, Yes, so okay.

Speaker 4 (29:39):
It's so interesting because when things started to come out,
we were getting messages and follows and stuff from people
from other seasons and they're just so nice. They're so sweet,
and it is. It's funny because it does kind of
immediately feel like you're close with these people because y'all
have experienced the weird again yeah yeah, and like nobody
else understands it in general. I don't know previously how

(30:04):
much people got to interact or see each other from
other seasons. But we got lucky because since we were
the tenth season, they invited all of these past season
casts to the reunion. So I think we got a
really cool opportunity where we had the chance to meet
a lot of people from the old casts, and that
was really, really cool.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Did anyone stick out to you that you were like
the person was amazing?

Speaker 4 (30:25):
Yeah, Taylor Hags, I really really like her. Okay, she's
so nice and she really she was like just checking
in on us and making sure everyone was okay, just
so so so nice.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
I love that there's this network of people making sure
everybody's okay because it has to be such a for
lack of a better word, traumatic thing that you all
go through, or at the very least dramatic thing if
it wasn't traumatic for some people.

Speaker 4 (30:44):
Yeah, and like Sarah Carton, I don't know if you remember,
like Sarah and Joey are together now, and they had
kind of a unique situation where they were both engaged
to other people and then didn't end up with them,
but then Sarah and Joey ended up together. So Harmon
and I as we were going through this process of
like like I hate watching it, Like Harmon doesn't want
to see any of this, like me with some other

(31:05):
dude like, and so we actually reached out to them
like as we were going through it and just we're
kind of like we're struggling a little bit, like what
do we like can you help us? Like, how did
you navigate this and they were just so wonderful, Like
they're just the nicest people ever.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
So navigating this makes me think of another question. Yeah,
Harmel is Indian and a doctor. You're American and a doctor.
But I would imagine that this could have had a
little bit of an impact on your families.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
How has that been.

Speaker 4 (31:34):
Yeah, it's I think especially for Harmle, just like culturally
and making sure that he's representing his family his culture
really well was really really important to him. And I
do think that that and he said that that's part
of why he was like, I can't do this. I
can't put people in these situations where like feelings can
get hurt and it's just it's very uncomfortable. And you know,

(31:56):
as he said before, he feels like his culture doesn't
get as much representation on TV, and so he wanted
to represent himself the best way that he possibly could.
For me, I feel similarly, it has obviously different strings
attached for Harmal, but one of my biggest things was
just like work, like being a doctor and wanting to
be taken seriously as a woman in general can be

(32:17):
challenging as it is, and then to be like on
a show are people going to take me less seriously
or think that I don't know what I'm doing. One
of the things that I think each physician kind of
works through over time is marrying who you are and
the doctor part of you where it's not You don't
have to have two separate personalities. Like for the longest time,

(32:39):
I felt like I had to be like stiff upperlift,
like really serious at work so that people would take
me seriously. I've realized or probably like the past five years,
I can wear my hot pink scrubs, I can make jokes,
I can be silly, and I still know what I
know and I know how to take care of you.
And not only do patients tolerate that, they appreciate it
because it's like a reminder you're human, and you know,

(33:03):
we are not our jobs. Whatever we do, we're not
our jobs. We're not you know, where we live, We're
not who we date. It's so important to be you
and be authentically you, no matter what, and so that
was really my only big driving thing going on the
show was to just completely be myself and then I
couldn't possibly regret that.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Well, it seems like you really did a good job
of that because the person that I'm seeing in front
of me is exactly the person that I saw on
the show. And I like when those two things match up.
And I will just say this to you as far
as being taken seriously, if Donald Trump can be president,
you can be on reality.

Speaker 4 (33:36):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
And I know that you had mentioned in one of
the things or one of the other interviews I saw
a snipet of that. Politics did come up a lot
in the pods with people, because that was something that
I noticed a lot after It was like, ew, I
didn't know his politics were this, or he follows these
weird pages or he's a Trump or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
So with you, politics definitely came.

Speaker 4 (33:59):
Up, I feel anything. I don't know that I was
ever directly lied to. Okay, I think that I was
definitely pushed to believe something else. I don't know if
I was lied to, because my question was always like,
did you vote for Donald Trump?

Speaker 1 (34:14):
I didn't vote.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
Don't get me started, but I get started.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
We get started on that on this podcast all the time.

Speaker 4 (34:20):
Well, because the thing is, I I basically made very
clear to people if you like are a Trump supporter,
if you've voted for Trump, I'm happy to have a
conversation with you, because I think that part of the
issue with the divide right now is, you know, it's
just like, oh, well, screw you, you're a terrible person,
blah blah blah whatever I want to like, what's your why?
I like, I can't understand this, Like, help me understand it.

(34:42):
Let's talk about it. And my big thing with people
is always, you know, human rights and the people that
I love and care about is always going to be
so much more important than any other like political issue
that it's never gonna nothing's going to outweigh that for me.
So if you're voting specifically a against the rights of
people that I love and myself as a woman, I

(35:04):
can have a conversation with you. I can be civil,
I can treat you like a human and respect you,
of course, but I don't want to date you. I
don't want to marry you. And I made that so
clear to so many people. And I will tell you
I had very very good conversations with people who I
completely disagree with in the pods. Wow, very respectful, very interesting,
But I made it very clear at the beginning of

(35:26):
those discussions that like this isn't going to be a thing.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Right, But let's have a little debate.

Speaker 4 (35:30):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
So I think we can take.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
This opportunity also to talk about something that I've seen
you posting about a lot, and it's very specific to Ohio.
Let's talk about the bill specifically directed at drag queens,
because there is a chance to make a bit of
a difference if we can. And I know it's something
important to you and it's something important to me too,
especially because the language in this bill is bizarro and
based on what I'm wearing at the moment, I could

(35:54):
get in trouble.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
So let's talk about it. You take this money.

Speaker 4 (35:57):
So I think that this is being, like a lot
of other things politically, it's being sold to society as basically,
we just don't want drag queens performing for little kids.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
When has that ever happened?

Speaker 4 (36:11):
First of all, it really doesn't. Oh, there's not like
there's Yes, do drag queens read books at libraries?

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (36:17):
Are they completely covered? Are they doing anything sexual?

Speaker 3 (36:20):
Like?

Speaker 4 (36:20):
What?

Speaker 3 (36:20):
What?

Speaker 4 (36:20):
No, They're sitting in a library reading a book.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Also, though I need to know how that's any different
than the Easter money exactly, a book it's a costume exactly.
You're not touching anyone, you're not promoting a lifestyle. It's
a costume.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
And you know, I go to drag shows all the time.
It's not like there's five year olds.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
There ever, And if there are, you're a bad parent.
That's all right, And I'm actually my favorite.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
The best, the best.

Speaker 4 (36:42):
We have to go together, yes, but there's this idea
that it's like, oh, well, we're just protecting the kids. No,
there's a lot of language in there that A would
inhibit people from doing drag period. B would cause certain
bars or whatever to need to be called a essentially
like adult only, as in like it's an adult entertainment

(37:03):
space right, like a strip club, right in order to
perform these shows, which is like someone singing Britney spears
like get over. And then because of the way that
they were things, it is an active attack on trans people.
It's it's very clear that you can't be in clothes
that do not fit your assigned gender at birth. Right,

(37:27):
that's worded that way on purpose.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
What if I want to wear my soccer uniform out?
Is that a problem? It could be if I'm just
a tomboy and I like to wear baggy clothes. Is
that a problem? Is Billie Eilish allowed in Ohio. There's
a lot of really weird stuff happening with the specific build.

Speaker 4 (37:42):
So it's Ohio House Bill two forty nine, and they're
calling it the Indecent Exposure Modernization Act.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
In decent exposure, give me a break.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
Call your representatives, tell them how you feel about this.
This is it feels like a very sneaky way to
get the ball rolling on handmaid's.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
Tail, which it seems like the balls already roll hand
in that direction in the country in general. And it's
very disturbing. And I will not be the person that
tries to just sing and dance and say it's fine.
Look over here, don't look over there, No look over there,
everybody look like I think we need to shine a
spotlight on the things that are happening and say this
is not okay. The more people who say this is
not okay, the better it is. And by thinking other

(38:22):
people are going to carry the weight and other people
are going to do the thing for you is how
we've gotten into the situation exactly where we are right now,
and back to your point of talking about politics, we
have this conversation often where I do understand to your point,
you don't want to be the person that just writes
somebody off because of their politics. It is becoming increasingly
harder for me not to because at this point, if

(38:44):
you are on this one side and supporting these policies,
you are anti mem M and I don't want to
be around you. If you are, okay, infringing on somebody
else's rights and life and the way that they live
and they're not hurting you in any right, fuck off.
I don't like it, and I think I might give
people a pass. You voted for him once, Okay, you

(39:06):
wanted to see maybe we did need something different, Okay,
twice as weird? Three times your a psycho, Like, well,
I don't understand it.

Speaker 4 (39:14):
I think you're a bigger person though, because well I
should clarify, because I thought that in the Pods was
a safe space to do that. I was like, I
never have to see this person again. Yeah, I don't

(39:34):
need them to be in my life whatsoever. We're not
going to speak again. Also, we're stuck in here for Yeah,
we're stuck in here for however many more minutes. Tell
me what you're thinking because I have no clue, like
it doesn't make sense to me. And I think that
to be able to approach these people from my lens
and to be able to like calmly explain to them

(39:55):
why that is completely unacceptable to me, I think that
I like actually made some headway with some people and
I was able to have like these calm conversations. And
we don't most of the time. We're not in this
situation where we can or should feel like we have
to because it's just it's just gross. And I get
I get not wanting to have the conversation. It was

(40:16):
a situation where I felt like, look, this is a
controlled situation, and I never have to have this person
in my life. Let's like do some science.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
You know, let's get.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
Let's actually talk turkey here. Yes, I think what's really
interesting about this too. And Diamond and I will laugh
about this often. That's my producer who's in New York
City right now listening.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
To all of this.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
And Diamond, by the way, hold on, I'm gonna take
you off for me, Diamond. Diamond and I laugh about
this all the time because I just think in general,
the people who are like I don't want to have
the conversation let's not.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
Talk about it.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
They're usually just on one side.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Because the people who are like, yeah, let's talk.

Speaker 2 (40:51):
About it, they are you there, are me there, Diamond, yep,
because there's nothing to hide. You're not ashamed of something.
You're not knowingly plowing down this road of like obliterating
people rights and being a creep. So when people say
I don't like to talk politics, I'm like, bah, yep.

Speaker 4 (41:05):
You just outed yourself. Yeah, I know what you are well,
And if you have to lie about it or you
don't want to talk about it or you feel like
you need to hide it, maybe you need to re
examine what you think, because that's embarrassed.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Embarrassing. Do you find patients talking to you about the show?

Speaker 4 (41:21):
Not never yet, but I have again, I haven't been
back that long since everything actually aired. A couple of
like my really young patients, Like I was taking care
of like a really young patient yesterday and she was like,
oh my god, like we all watched and all my
friends are feeling and we were cheering for you, and
I've taken care of her for a little while, and
so it was like, oh my god, it just made
me so happy, like gave her a big hug. And

(41:42):
I think the best thing that's come out of this
is all of the younger women and or like female
physicians that have been like, oh my god, thanks for
like representing us and being like somebody to look up to,
which I'm like, oh my god, why like me? Like
that's crazy, but it feels so good, and like to
have moms be like, oh, I want my my to
watch this because I want her to handle herself this

(42:03):
way when she gets old her like that, There is
no greater compliment than that. It just means the world
to me.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
I wholeheartedly understand that. And a torch you didn't think
you'd be carrying and now you are and it feels
good to carry it. Yes, that's incredible. So this has
changed your life?

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (42:18):
Absolutely?

Speaker 1 (42:18):
And which ways do you feel like it's changed your
life the most?

Speaker 4 (42:21):
I think that it's this sounds kind of like dumb
and childish, but I think it's made me a lot
prouder of myself. I love it childish, well, I just
I've worked so hard over like I've you know, been
through it and been divorced, done all these things, gone
to med school like hard things, and I feel like
there's been a lot of times where I've had to

(42:42):
like rebuild myself or like pick myself up, and I've
spent so much time and energy on that, more than
I ever realized. And then it was like kind of
throwing me in the fire and seeing what happened, and
it was like, oh, the.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
Final boss, that all paid off.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
But I did it, like I did stay true to
myself and I did say no, nobody's talking to me
like this, Like I am unbelievably proud of that, and
I wouldn't have been able to do that several years ago.
I'm just really really proud of myself.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
I'm proud of you for doing that. And I want
more women to do that. I want more women to
look at someone and be like, you're a loser, not me,
Get out of here, Like on what planet are you
talking to me like this? Not today, buddy, It's not acceptable.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
It's not acceptable for anybody to talk to you like
that period.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
Not at all in your life.

Speaker 2 (43:26):
I just I don't want to dwell on it, but
I think, you know, if he wasn't happy for whatever reason,
I think there were so many ways to end a
relationship besides trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
And back to our point from the beginning, I think
this is just happening so much more often.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
Now because hurt people hurt people.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yep, and we said this one hundred times on this podcast,
but happy bitches ain't hayten and hate and bitches ain't
happy men. And when somebody comes at you like that,
it's much more reflection of them than that is of you.
And I'm glad that you are old enough, you've worked
hard enough on it to be able to see that immediately,
because something like that for someone who was not healed
and happy could really derail and just throw them off.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Their track their goals for a very long time.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
And that's why I always reiterate had this happened to
me like five years ago or three years ago, even
maybe I wouldn't have been able to react that way,
because so many women have said like, I don't know
how you stayed calm through that, or I don't know
how you like so quickly realize like I, this is
not for me. I need to get myself out of
this situation. It's literally just because I've like worked so
so hard to get there. It's not that like I

(44:30):
just magically happened to be that person. It's it's work,
just like anything else in life. And I feel like
we're all on this path of like constantly trying to
get better and trying to take well. Some people are
I hope, so guys work on it, but like hopefully
you're just getting better and better and better with time,
taking care of yourself and prioritizing yourself more. And that's

(44:51):
I think what happens when you do that. It pays off.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
It does, and it did, And I think it's also
a really interesting commentary on society in general because there's
a lot of stuff that you could say to somebody
that's devastating and mean, why do we put so much
on looks? And we all do, because I think any
single person watching that was flabbergasted.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Just wait, what did he say? Why? What is that?

Speaker 2 (45:17):
That's crazy? People talk shit to me all the time
in the comment section. It doesn't matter, and people always
go after the looks and like, that's fine, I don't
actually care about that. There's stuff you could say to
me that would genuinely hurt my feelings so much more.
Then you're ugly you're fat, whatever it is. But I
think when I see people doing that, the thing that
rubs me the wrong way the most about it is
the intent to hurt. Yep, it's not actually the comment

(45:38):
that is a huge deal. It's the intention from that
person just being a shithead going as low as they can.
And that's what I got from that interaction was this,
dude is a tool.

Speaker 4 (45:48):
Well, especially I think for women. It's just it's kind
of like a reinforcement of a like your value is
what you look like, and I'm going to make sure
that you know that you're not valuable, and this is
the easiest way for me to do that. It doesn't
take any thought process, you know. It just it's the
lowest of the low. It's just it's easy to be like,
I don't like how you look, and now you have

(46:09):
to go look in the mirror and deal with.

Speaker 2 (46:11):
That, and society backs me up because I really hate you.

Speaker 4 (46:14):
You're a child.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
Go away before that happens.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
You said that it had you noticed was pretty much
as soon as you got back, this isn't gonna work.

Speaker 4 (46:21):
Just weird?

Speaker 1 (46:22):
Were you gonna call it? Before that happened?

Speaker 4 (46:24):
He just was acting weird. It wasn't. He hadn't said
anything like that. He just kind of started acting funny
and then wasn't responding to me for like a day
and a half, and so I was like, something's going on.
And then when I got there and we had that conversation,
that's when I was like, absolutely not. As soon as
he started saying like like the physical stuff and like
how I look isn't good enough, I was like, Okay,

(46:45):
somebody's spiraling. I'm out of here, like no question right.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
There's a lot more going on with him again, So
were you guys not living together?

Speaker 1 (46:51):
I don't. I don't think I understand how that works. Yeah,
cause I thought I had.

Speaker 4 (46:54):
Yeah, we had time, moved into the apartment the day
that we got back, and then the next day we
went and saw each other places, and then that night
we both just stayed at our own places. Then I
had work, yeah, and so and then like Monday night,
I wasn't sure what the hall was going on, and
then Tuesday we came to film. So it's literally just
like a few days that this all happened.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
So just an observation in the pods, everything that you
are and everything that you say, it's just an idea
of what you are. You come home, and now the
idea of you being a doctor is now the practice
of you being a doctor and the real life of
you being a doctor and him being what is he?

Speaker 4 (47:35):
I don't I'm a little aheased about his job, right,
I think he.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
Might be confused about his job, which is probably where
all of this came from, because again the theory of
a doctor versus actually being with a doctor. Now I'm
here in real life and she's got to take patience
and she's going to go and walk out of this
house and scrubs every day, and she's very impressive.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
This is an impressive thing.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Now I have to look at This impressive thing is
far different than just the idea of oh yeah we're
in pop and my hot fiance.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
Is a doctor.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
But now you see it, and maybe it starts to
make you feel much more insecure.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
And that's when someone lashes out. Yeah, and to me,
that's what that looked like.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
And again I just see it across the board with
very strong, powerful women who women are starting to take
over everything.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Yeah, I love it. Like all of the fields, we're dominating.
We're smart, we know it.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
And these guys who aren't able to keep up just
want to bring you down. And I'm glad that you
did not let that happen.

Speaker 4 (48:24):
Thank you. I appreciate you. There are a lot of
men that are really secure in who they are, and
those are the men that lift women up. Like you
can just see it over and over and over and over,
like the way that Harmel's like, no, be more of yourself,
like do more things like be louder, take up more
space at my brain is exploding, like that's how it
should be, and that's how I think in general, that's

(48:46):
how you should treat your partner, whether you're a man
or woman or whatever. If you have a partner, or
even a friend or an acquaintance or a coworker who
wants you to be smaller, who wants you to be
more quiet, who wants you to do less, that's a
huge red flag. And again, like you said, it's usually
a reflection of their own stuff. It's usually not about you.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
And you are smooth sailing because you found win for
your sales instead of an anchors, which is good stuff.
So for you a year from now, what do you
want your life to look like?

Speaker 4 (49:15):
I hope that my life looks pretty similar to what
it looks like now. To be honest with you, I
love my job, I love Harmle, I feel really really happy.
I think that if I could include more travel and
a little more freedom in my life, I would love that.
So if there's a route to that, absolutely, But other
than that, I really I love what I do. I

(49:37):
love taking care of patients, and I love who's around me.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
I hope you're basking in this right now, because like
what you can't tell? Yeah, it's been nothing but smile good.
We didn't want to make you cry, so that's amazing.

Speaker 4 (49:51):
No crying, no, right, and that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
And you just made me think of one thing you said,
I love Harmele. How did that conversation go?

Speaker 1 (49:59):
Who was the to say it?

Speaker 4 (50:01):
He was the first to say it.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
Did you cry?

Speaker 4 (50:03):
Were you like know what? He said?

Speaker 3 (50:05):
It?

Speaker 4 (50:05):
In the pods? Not in a romantic way, okay, but
I never forgot it. It was literally our last like date.
I went in and he was like, clearly something was off.
I was like, he's not good, Like what's going on
and just kind of immediately gave him out. I was like, hey,
I respect you so much. We have a really great
connection here, like we can just be friends, Like are
you okay? And he's like yeah, Like you could tell

(50:26):
he was just relieved whatever. And then at the very
end then we sat and listened to it. We both
love music. We listened to our music and like just
hung out for the rest of our date. And then
at the end he's like, love you, Dreess because I
was like, okay, we're besties now, and that's part of
why I was like, okay, we're just buddies. So he
did say it.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
He said it first in the pods. Have you ever
thought about going back to the producers and being.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
Like just can I have?

Speaker 4 (50:48):
All the time? We're like, can we please watch? I
want to see it so bad. I don't know. I
doubt he'll ever let us, But everybody tell them.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
To start the petition that change dot org. There's a
lot of political things happening that are important, but this
is also incredibly important.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
Get the footage.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Well, Jess, thank you so much for meeting me here
on pretty short notice, I think, and you were like, yeah,
let's do it. I'm working, but I'll come military and
that's awesome and being so wonderful and being a good
role model. I love all of these things, and I
would like to see more of you in front of
our faces all the time instead of a lot.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Of the stuff that we do see. So I hope
you're really proud of yourself and again just basking in
the good stuff that's happening right now.

Speaker 4 (51:29):
I am thank you so so much. This has been wonderful.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Oh good, Okay, perfect, So now we're friends, we'll hang out. Yah, yeah,
all right.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Diamond, which think that Jess was too good for the
show in the first place.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
I have so many questions about it in general, because
you heard her say, casting came to her.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
She didn't even have an open profile.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
They just slid into her dms and started talking about hey,
like what's going on, which just begs so many more.

Speaker 1 (52:01):
Questions after that. Is it tough to find people now
to be on the show, Like what is the deal?
What's happening?

Speaker 3 (52:06):
I think that it's hard to find people who actually
have some type of like pure intention, so they try
to reach out to their own people. But also, you
never know, like those people, I'm pretty sure other people
from the cast who turned out to be assholes were
probably reached out to as well.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Yeah, maybe this season of Dudes. I was mind blown
by in a bad way, in a bad.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
Way, in a horrible way.

Speaker 2 (52:30):
And then if you watch the reunion, I mean, okay,
so some spoiler alerts coming if you have not watched
the season, which I actually you know me, I'm not
like a huge reality TV person. There are some that
I really like. I love the Traders, I love this
watched season ten of Love Is Blind. It was just horrible,
insane for many reasons, and I will stick to it

(52:51):
till the day I die. Love is not Blind.

Speaker 3 (52:53):
No, I think that this is more of an not
even an experiment. I think it just shows you what
the dating pool looks like. There's so many overqualified women
for just everything, not even relationships, and then there are
men who like have opinions about women's looks and they
don't even have jobs.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
What's happening here?

Speaker 2 (53:10):
These guys got a lot of big feelings, especially the
fact that there's this weird movement now of guys who
are like.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
We want to be chased.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Please, okay, you want to be chased and treated like
a princess, but also somehow be the alpha of the relationship.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
I just need you pick a lane. What is it
that you.

Speaker 4 (53:26):
Need men used to go to war.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Oh my god, well, according to some new rules they
may be doing that again.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
Draft is back.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
Baby, Please, I'm begging you because I can't take it.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
I can't want theirsium physima laugh. If you want them
all to go to war and it's.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
Tough enough, something has to give, because what's going on
in society right now, is not it.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
You just need to kill the manisphere.

Speaker 2 (53:48):
The manisphere is the gayest place ever, and it's making
normal men behave very strangely.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
They should be embarrassed. They should all be embarrassed, should be.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
Embarrassed as a society because I take a lot of
women play. Women play in this whether we want to
acknowledge it or not. Juralizing women, you know, no, of
course they do do sisters, cousins.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
Stop giving these boys a pass.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
Teach them that they need to do all of the
things that women can do. Which is funny because my
parents always wanted to teach me to do everything that
a man could do, like you will be independent, You're
not gonna rely on a dude, And that was all
the way down to even driving a stick shift. I
remember my dad being like, no, daughter of mine is
going to be caught around a car they can't drive.
It's like, okay, cool, but it would be nice if

(54:30):
you know parents of boys taught their kids the same
thing and taught them how to respect people. And I
don't know, if you've been seeing all these stories about
the rape Academy, have you how psychotic and disappointing. And
I think the most insane thing about it to me,
which if you don't know what this is, I guess
careful googling it. But essentially there were places online that

(54:52):
you could go and learn how to assault.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
Women and cover it up.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
And it got within a very short amount of time
sixty two million visits.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
It's insane. That is insane.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
And the sixty two million were before these articles were printed,
so I'm sure at this point it's far more. Because
when I heard about it, I was like, well, I'm
gonna go see what this is, right, so I go
check it out.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
I'm sure those numbers are now through the roof.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
I find it interesting when you bring this up around
a lot of dudes, how they start to justify the
numbers immediately, Well, those aren't real numbers, those are just
you know, is that unique hits is it unique visitors,
It doesn't matter if it was ten million. The fact
that this exists online is crazy and I'm just very
disappointed in like society in general.

Speaker 1 (55:37):
What is going on. It's sad, it's gross.

Speaker 3 (55:39):
Ugh.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
And this is why Diamond says the dating pool has
poop in it. Literally, I think it's something else in it. Now.
Are you still on your a sexual kick?

Speaker 3 (55:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (55:48):
Yeah, forced Hair.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Absolutely, she is hardcore asexual. I feel you, man, I'm
telling you the way that you know sexuality not a choice,
is that I am into straight man.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
Oh yeah, yeah. If I could be in a girl's
life would be so much easier. I would be married
by Oh my god, I'd be married.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
We'd be thriving, probably have the most beautifully decorated home,
we have children.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
There would be farms and meadows.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
But alas, I do enjoy a straight man something about
them unfortunately.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
On that note, Diamond, if a straight man wants to
come find you, don't.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
I say the meme the other day.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
It made me laugh so hard, And yes, is this
all completely lopsided?

Speaker 1 (56:32):
Yes? For sure? Are we being hypocrite? For sure? It
said if you got a man, tell him, I said,
shut up.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
Yeah, I said, that's like, oh my girlfriends time, I said,
shut up?

Speaker 1 (56:43):
All right, where can a straight man find you? Diamond
at Diamond since here on Instagram?

Speaker 2 (56:47):
Are you still in the hellscape that is threads?

Speaker 1 (56:50):
Oh for sure?

Speaker 4 (56:50):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (56:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (56:51):
I am on Twitter and Instagram at Baby Hot Sauce.
Also on threads, which is a dumpster fire. We say
it all the time, but so is Twitter or whatever
or the fuck they call it now x X. Please
follow our Instagram page Sauce on the site on Instagram.
Also like follow subscribe to the podcast Oh somebody left to.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
Review the other day that I was Oh, I was
chuckling about it.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
Basically, they gave us a one star review, and I
will say this is all on me because they said
they aligned with me and a lot of the things
that I say about, you know, politics and whatever. However,
I lost a listener because when I got that trial
of groc and I made everybody kiss, it was not
okay that I was making the male coworkers kiss because

(57:34):
that's just rude and disgusting and if somebody would have
done that to the women, imagine And I was like,
well they have done that to the women, Where do
you think I got this idea from but one star review.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
Sorry, I made people kiss using groc yolo.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
I'm actually oh, I take the back. I'm not sorry
at all. It was very hilarious.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
It was very intense.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
Oh I was making everybody kiss? Is it probably harassment
in the workplace?

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Sure? But guess what that's not in our training video.
So what do you what you do next year? All right?

Speaker 2 (58:04):
And on that note, thanks for steaking around. If you
have stuck around, please feel free to leave us a review.
We do try to read them. You can also leave
us a talk back. If you are listening on the
iHeartRadio app. There's a little microphone. You can hit that
microphone and just basically leave us a voicemail, which we'll
probably get to next week. So until then, thank you
Jess for joining us. She was amazing. And thank you Diamond.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
Oh wait, talk about your podcast, no nocause.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
I don't know what we're going to be talking about
that week.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Okay, Well, Diamond has a podcast. It's called Uncut with Diamond.
She doesn't want you to listen to it, but I
thank you to give it a shot. You're really bad
at promotion. All right, we'll be back