February 3, 2026 • 52 mins
In this episode of “Shrink This!,” Lisa takes a blowtorch to resentment and asks the uncomfortable question no one wants to answer: what are you still mad about—and why? Joined by Nick and video producer Stephanie, Lisa unpacks why clinging to grudges, scorekeeping, and “I’m fine” energy can quietly poison your relationships (and your own nervous system). From journaling burn lists and dead ex‑boyfriends to family drama over necklaces and who pays for dinner, the crew digs into how resentment builds, where it actually comes from, and why saying the hard thing early beats exploding later. If you love to claim you’ve “moved on” while mentally keeping receipts, this episode is here to lovingly call your bluff.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it
all and her words come from her head, her heart,
and often out of her ass. His podcast should not
be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a
huge strain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These you need help, You're the problems.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Come on, come, don.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Go cleamb take a pill. I think you're insane.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Do what I said, dumb ass, listen to me. Hey, everybody,
it's your old ball. Licia Lisa Lampernel is here to sado.
I'm here on Shrink this podcast with my good friend
(01:00):
and what's your name again?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Side howdy? My name is Italian gay boy Joe.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Are you? It's Nick Scope, a laddie everybody.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Neck?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Where can people find you? On social medal?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
You can follow me Nick Scopes on Instagram. I have
a really cute headshot.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
It is ok there, It is really cute.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Little gay. But it's good because it hides the rest
of my sloppy body.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
No, you know what it is.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
It's an acting headshot. It's really good and Nick, this
is what I hate. Nick's stupid comedy. Friends are being like, oh,
nice head shot, a whole f word for gay, and
I'm like, no, like, it's just a good acting headshot.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Don't be stupid. They're just jealous.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
It's funny. No, it's funny.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I don't even really care because they're like, oh, what
is his headshot? Dude? I'm like, who cares?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
This is what I resent is when you complain to
me and now you're acting like it's okay Stephanie.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
What I'm speaking?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
There's no speaking over there. I get charged up on
your behalf. We talked about any of you, Graham in the
last episode. I'm very protective, so I'm like, oh, I'm
defending your headshot.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Well, fuck you. I don't care. I am sick of you.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Also, I am sick of our next person here, Stephanie.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
It's been two episodes.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I already want to kill myself, just kidding. Thank you
for filling in for the poor, dead departed Celia.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
It's not dead, she just is sick.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
So this is our Stephanie Lane with the worst fucking
Instagram handle, but I'm going to promote it anyway. It's
Steph Lane with an additional E and an underscore, am,
I correct s te p h l A n ee underscore?
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Is that what it is?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Okay, it's fine, it's fine. She has like shots on
there versus a ten year old which we were taken
last week.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Nick.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
You know, I've been thinking a lot about resentment because
I know we're in like almost the month of Love February.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
However, people in the middle of no in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Of January like it's time to let go of resentments,
and I'm like, we already did an episode on resentments.
But as someone who now has a spiritual practice of
one of my practices journaling every day to get out
the junk, They're like, do you have any resentment still
rattling around down there? And the answer was yes.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Do you know why I came up?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
It never stopped, And I was like, these have got
to be let go, These have got to happen, So
don't judge me. Stephanie won't judge me because she's fucking call.
But I had to write this list of resentments over
a week because as I'm journaling every day, different things
are coming up. Ex boyfriends, family members who I no
longer talk to, who are long dead, like literally you know,
(04:09):
I won't say who, but grandparents on a certain side
who weren't great, people from my past, friends that didn't
work out, or just resentments about myself, things I've done
wrong and I judge myself still.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
So I wrote this list.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
It was probably like twenty things, and they said you
should burn each one individually outside, because I was trying
not to set my house on fire because.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
As you know, there would be three.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Homeless dogs, including me. So I was like, okay, so burn.
And I don't think like a ceremonial burning is a
magical thing, but I do think it kind of releases something.
There's something about just watching it in flames and then
hit the bottom of this metal box and going okay.
(04:58):
Metal box also is my name on grinder, so it
helped it. I would just say it loosened those resentments
up a little. So I felt I went into twenty
twenty six with no resentments, or at least very few,
and I was like, let's see.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
If anyone in there.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Well, this morning, as you know, I got a new phone,
so all these Instagram dms come in that I didn't
know about because my old phone, I guess, was not
letting me see them, and these were from like literally
twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen, the crazy times that I wasn't
even on Instagram. And one was this kid who's like, hey,
(05:40):
you used to date my uncle and he used to
speak very fondly of you and how nice and funny
you were. He's passed away, but just figured i'd say hi.
So I deleted it because this was the guy who
was not a good guy. He was an alcoholic. He
(06:02):
is an active alcoholic. I couldn't deal with it, and
not a good person. Well, I didn't know I had
a resentment to this guy till his fucking.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Little jerk has to tell me. And now I'm like,
he's dead good.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
There was a great quote for him. I think it
was Betty Davis where he.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Says, mother, then never speak good about the dead. She's
dead good. I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I think it was like Betty Davis or some old
battle axe. But it's funny how you think you're kind
of not carrying anything in. But I'm like, I secretly
still have a resentment, and I'm glad of the death.
I didn't cause the death of this guy. I didn't
kill him. I have nothing to feel guilty about. Do
you think you have any resentment still rattling around down
(06:53):
there that you have to unearth and get rid of
as we go into the second part of this year.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Actually had something happen recently, not not specifically, but just
overall resentments. And I was talking to someone and the
joke that I always make with our buddy Bow he
always makes about me is that I'm a scorekeeper. Oh okay,
which is like annoying, but I'm very much the person
like someone says some to me that I don't like,
and I'm like, oh, interesting.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Interesting, and like I'll start in the old filing cabinet.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
I'll come back to that again. Parts of me I
really don't like. But recently I was someone was saying
something to me and I just went, oh, like a
joking manner, I remember that. And then the person goes,
why don't you take notes? On the fact that I'm
not taking notes, I'm just and I was like, that's
really good, and I was like, yeah, I probably.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Shouldn't so them saying they do not scorekeep.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Yeah, because it's just it's not it's not good.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
What does the process look like?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
So you're this person says something you don't like, you're
kind of making a little fucking note of it made
pretty obvious in the conversation, even if it's not out loud.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Hey I'm keeping score. What then do you do with that?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Just lay in the grass and wait, yeah, wait.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
To strike yep, So that you would then next time
be like, oh yeah, well that time you dot dot dot.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Well just yeah if they say something, do something like
really because if they contradict how they were the first.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Time, yep.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I like, I hate that about myself, Like I have
to hold everyone to like, oh really, I don't you
sent this, No, this is happening. I've done that at uh.
I would say at work probably the most right right
easily with with like coworkers and things like that, where
I'm like, oh, okay.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
It's at yeah yeah, like your fucking mattlock or some shit.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
But not the Kathy Bates version because she lost weight
and you're still misshapen.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah I'm fat.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, Stephanie high five because she hates fat too.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Are you a bit of a do you?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Do you have any resentments in your heart for things
that you should or could have let go of years
ago or months ago or maybe days ago, other than
us Uh?
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Yeah, I have a lot, but twenty six is my
year to get rid of the Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Sir, So what do you think your process might look like?
What would a practice look around that well.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
I mentioned in the last episode about this like ex
guy friend of mine. The only reason why I answered
his text was because I was like, okay, like, let's
get this done with. Let's not have any more like
resentment or built up anger about it. Let's just deal
with it and then go on with my life. So
I feel like it's been going well.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I like how she's like very to the point she's like, look,
we are not carrying resentment anymore, like we are doing it.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
I hope it does.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I hope that could get dislodged as easily for some others,
because it is hard to like be like that person
really did me wrong, Like how am I supposed to
let it go? I obviously feel like I win with
this guy who from my past kind of resurface the
memory because I win because I'm alive. He's dead, right,
that's fucking hilarious, But I do. Most of my ex
(10:16):
boyfriends are dead, which is like a blessing to the world.
So one guy, though I really had resented him. It
was this guy Andy that I dated when I was
in my twenties. It was like emotional torture. This is
a different guy. Emotional back and forth broke up like
a hundred times. And I remember getting an email from someone, Oh,
(10:40):
I think you used to know Andy, so and so
he died a few years ago, blah blah blah, and
I was like happy, Like I don't even get it,
Like we're gonna have listeners, Like that's so mean to
be happy someone's dead. Well, you know what, Okay, so
you're better than me. But if someone's a scourge on
the planet, like, I'm not gonna be sad they're dead.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Like Jeffrey Epstein, I was so happy when he was dead.
So this guy Andy dies and I was gleeful. I
would dare say gleeful. And I said, let me look
up how.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
This fucker died, because let me see if it was painful.
So most of my other ex boyfriends hadn't been that rotten,
so I didn't want them in pain. It would have
been nice if it was in their sleep whatever. Most
of them just died from complications of fat So I
was like to go, let's like, I mean you're one
foot on the old banana people. So I looked it
(11:37):
up and I could not find an obituary for this guy.
I could not find any, but what came up instead,
because he was about I guess sixty when he died.
A guy came up who with the same name, who
was twenty eight and died an obituary and I read
it and it was super sad because he had a
(11:58):
little kid and a w and I resemble, excuse me,
I remember saying, holy shit, I'm going to not I'm
gonna make an effort not to be gleeful about this
other guy's death because this guy's death is so sad
to me. So it's almost like it took a little
(12:19):
wind out of that. It took a little of the
resentment and anger, because I go, it's just a sadder
thing to think about that someone's life was grabbed away
from him like that, this twenty eight year old. Sure
he could have been another alcoholic, abusive pothead, but probably not,
you know. So I think sometimes it's just rejiggering how
(12:40):
we think of, like something jogs us out of, like
the staying in, the hate and the resentment.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know if anything's ever jogged
me out of anything, but we're just I haven't jogged
much in a life, I know. Hey, he laugh really
hard at that stuff. I don't like that. Yeah, I
don't know. It's funny. We had we kind of had
this combo in the car on the way down of
like I know, for me, I like teeter back and
(13:07):
forth where like I don't know if you've ever felt
this way, but I know I have where like I
feel that I have to hold on to resentments or
things because they fuel me to do shit or do
better at work, or do better in the gym, or
do better at common and like so I think sometimes
(13:27):
I hold onto it because I don't know how to
positively motivate myself sometimes more positively just you know, doing
the work and just normal stuff and getting better. It
always has to be like this fight or flight, like
I have to fucking kill this person and they said this,
and fuck you for making me feel this, I'll kill you. Know. Yeah,
(13:50):
I think it's it's.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Exhausting, that's the thing. It ends up like hurting us
more by the energy.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
No idea, that's the word. They really have no idea
some of these people about the resentments us. Yeah, yeah,
you're just like, what what happened? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:05):
I mean that.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Okay, sorry, my bad girl, you know, but now I
fall on the other side of like before resentment even
has a chance to happen, I just say the truth
all the time and trying to say it nicer, like,
for instance, like instead of sitting in the I brought
(14:27):
this up in a different episode, sitting in the restaurant
and it's cold and not moving the seat or not
bringing in like a sweater or not saying hey, could
you turn down the a sea it's really cold in here,
Like I can't let anything go or else. I know,
it's just gonna build and build, and it's gonna be
this rock internally.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
That people like, well, why didn't you just say something?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, you know, like sometimes I'll say to you or
the guys at the diner or whatever, uh, okay, you're
paying tonight because part of me like, well, my presence
is a gift, so you're paying, Like, am I right?
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Am I wrong? It doesn't matter. I for some reason
feel like I want you to pay, and then it
would be up to you guys to be like why.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I mean, I don't know, I just feel that way.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yeah, well, just like it worries me.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Because Ginsburg Andrew he one of my good friends. He
I helped him write this one person show that he
did about a year and a half ago. I did
it for free because we're friends, and also because you know,
I'm flush, I'm wealthy, pay off mortgage. Come on, no,
(15:43):
but what's I was just like, oh, it's it's a
definitely a help or trade.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
It's out of love.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
And I didn't want anything in return. But we go
out to lunch every Tuesday and he will never let
me pick up the check, like he always is like nope, nope, nope, nope.
And one day it was his birthday on the day
and I was like, no, I get it.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
It's your birthday. It's like no, and I'm like, I'm
doing it today. So he has an I owe it
to you thing.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah, And so I think maybe someone in my position
who had helped someone would feel resentment if the guy
didn't grab it every time, And I honestly I probably would,
or at least I'd add it up in my head. Dude,
I'd be like this where I'd go all right, let
me see. So it would probably be like twenty grand
for help on that show. How much is twenty grand's
(16:38):
worth of breakfast ten years?
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Stephanie?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
What is twenty thousand divided by twenty go? If you
can't do twenty thousand divided by it's a thousand, you're Asian?
Speaker 4 (16:50):
Like even Hi, she is not a thousand breakfasts? How many?
That's three years of breakfast?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Is? So I'll allow it for three years. I think
it's a year and a half so far. So, but
I think I think I probably.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
Would resent it a little if he didn't grab that check?
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, yeah, what would have to be the frequency every
time or every other what?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
What do you mean like if oh oh, if he no,
if he didn't grab it for three years, I'd be
pissed because that's twenty grand. I figure shit out in
my head, like I'm fucking really. What's weird is my
mother always says rich people are rich because they keep
their money. It doesn't mean you're cheap or cheap with
yourself or with others, but it means he don't mistake
(17:36):
me for a fucking fool, Like I'm the type. Right now,
there's this, I'm an idiot. I ordered some fucking four
items of clothing from some shady Chinese place.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
It was advertised on TikTok. I thought it was reliable.
I'm stupid. They said they sent the package. It's mark delivered,
but no photo. I'm stupid because they go, well, we
can refund you seventy percent and way, I want a
few props right now for not doing a Chinese accent.
You're welcome, so thank you all.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
So so I'm stupid.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I go to go, we can give you a partial
refund or send them again, and I go, you know
what they mean, Well, sends it again.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Of course it never arrives.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Now we're at the point of like, dudes, you fed
me seventy percent. Come on, I'll take the refund. It's fine.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
So who do I have to resent? There?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Pretty much myself because I fed up with this company
by even trusting them. But there's also the thing of like, wow,
I the whole rich people thing. It's like, does that
money count? Is it life changing money? Is it even
(18:49):
enough to argue over?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
No?
Speaker 4 (18:51):
But also, don't.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Make me into a fool, because then my resentment will grow.
I just don't like people making me into a fool.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Do you ever see a retaliation, So that's most of
my retaliation.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So it makes you feel like, yeah, So I think
we have to always draw the line between Okay, when
do we sense it start to build and when are
we just not giving people any chance whatsoever to make.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
A mistake at all?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Because I don't really like mistakes. Why does everybody make mistakes?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
And I'm not We're perfect?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I say, we motherfucker we Yeah, no, I I.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Am because I imagine. Okay, so this is how we work it.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Nick drives into the city and he drives both of
us and I then venmo him money.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
So I often wonder myself. I wonder if I never.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Started doing that, how resentful he would have grown, and
when he would have brought it up, Like would it
have been like a year, would it be two years?
Would it be like oban jokey joking Nick, you know,
was sending me some scratch for that buck? It wouldn't
kill me, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (20:06):
So, like would it have eventually been like what's going
on here?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
It's funny with money, I am a little different where
like probably it would build up. But also I'm the
type like even in relationships and things like that like
I just pay and I don't ask for anything from anyone,
or like I'll just do and go. Nope, I'm not
gonna because because I came from ah, you know, my
dad didn't me went bankrupt twice and that money so
(20:34):
like to me, like asking for money or being like whatever,
it's like a sign of like weakness. I could take
care of myself. I don't need to fucking do that.
So like it would definitely after a while, I'd be like,
you got a few mortgages, throw me some guess money,
all this throw.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
All this shows me is that I could have gone
for like a year now and not given you you
Would you be the type to bring it up calmly
or would you have to joke your way into it?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
I don't really know talk into the MICI dumb ass.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
I don't, I don't, I don't really know. I think
it would have depended on a few things. It would
have maybe gotten to a boiling point.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Yeah, so you would have let it go too long.
It's okay, you're young.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Yeah am I Well?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
No, I mean that these are hard things, like it's
hard to say somebody to somebody, hey, you know.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
What I've been driving for a while and like that's hard.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Yeah, it is hard. I think I eventually would have
been able to. But like even again in relationships, like
even things that should be split in or fair, I
will never ask that person to like split or whatever,
like no, I just just eat it. I'm like, no,
I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Pay, and nothing builds up inside or it kind of
does a little bit, you score, keep.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
It a little No, I think I think a tiny bit.
But also when it comes to that, it's like the
I know if it's the fear or the wanting to
not be like people I grew up with, Yeah, with
the money thing that overrides everything where it's like, no,
I'm not like I have I like the one thing
that drives me nuts. And maybe I've spoken about it
(22:10):
in the past, but like if you're going out with
a group of people and you're eating, you split the
check evenly.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
See I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
See it's not I don't know, but like if you're
all eating the same food, like oh.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, if you're eating the same food, but sometimes we're
at the diner, you've smells and I call you you odors.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
Order these big things.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yo.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
The one day I'll get a cappuccino.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I'll fucking uh black and white cookie, and they want
me to get forty I.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Said, Andrew gives a hundred joy is.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Such a people pleasing nine peacemaker. Listen to our enneagram
issue if you don't know what that means that he
always orders the same thing because he has crones and
he's eating disordered, and he'll always get this dopey chicken
wrap and give me half of it for my dog
and always put in like fifty and I'm just like, wow.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Yeah, it's too much. No, no, no. I think when
you go out to like a dinner like we all
went to tow Yeah, like if someone.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
At that table, oh, I would kill them right.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
If they wouldn't be invited, all right, But if someone
at the table was like, well I didn't drink, nope
that I don't drink, me and you both, yeah, But
if you and I were like, well the drink. I've
been out because nothing, almost nothing will bring me to
murder faster than that, like the whole well, I'm just
paying my thing. It's like no, no, no, you're out. You're
(23:33):
with everybody. You split it, that's it, don't fucking plan.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
I remember once.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
This is when I was first friends with my friends
Bonnie and Bobby, and there were several other people at
this dinner we went to in of all places in
New Hampshire because we went to see a friend's show. Okay,
Bonnie sent us all and this is not her fault.
This is because she knew there'd be pushedback from some
of these people at this table. A literal spreadsheet, an
(24:00):
Excel spreadsheet, of every single item on what people owed.
And the next time we're out to dinner and I said,
and by the way, there's no fucking spreadsheet. We're all adults.
It all evens out in the end, everyone's splitting. It
is that okay, And they knew better because I'm an
eight and I'm gonna fucking yell at you.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
But be a fucking adult, dude, you know.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I just think it's if somebody is in financial hardship,
should they.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Be going to town.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
No, they should just be like, you know what, I'm
going to take so and so out to celebrate a
different night at a place we can all afford. But
for the most part, the people you're with have the
same level. It should just be split without a resentment.
But yeah, resentment's like tough.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah, so hey.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
At this point, the only person I resent is you
for taking that money for parking, even though I could
have gotten away with it. And I resent Stephanie for
having a really shitty Instagram handle.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
That's right, it's really bad. Also, since it's twenty twenty
six now, the the cost has gone up. Oh I
don't know if you've heard of that. I'm not talking
about my tis No.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
Luckily the tariffs kept it down.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Dear Lisa. Yeah, I'm sixty five years old.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Disgusting, gross, gross. I hate it.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
My mom died last year. I'm very close and she
had a necklace. My three sisters all knew I wanted,
oh no, but my oldest sister was like a vulture
and grabbed it. And where is it to family functions? Now?
It makes me sick to my stomach. I hate her
for it.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
She always gets what she wants. And I know if
I confront her and she'll say, I'm acting like a baby.
How do you handle this? Thanks? G J E A
N n E.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Janine Jean wait j wait, hold on, hold on see
I resent that she has a shitty name.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
J E N J And I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
J E A right and n E.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
That's gene. Oh yeah, I believe it or not.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
It is Florida anyway.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Well, you know what, This is what I always say.
It's not the thing. Is never about the thing. This
is not about a did you do to preach sister? Yes,
the thing is about the thing. It's not about the necklace.
Because she said something like she always gets what she wants.
(26:24):
This is clearly someone who she has resentment with and
anger with for years. And if they just would tweeze
it apart, they'd find out the real issue.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
It's not the freakin necklace. Why the sister took the necklace.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
The sister might have a resented the sister's the oldest one.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
The oldest sister took the necklace.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah, so she might resent that from birth she got
ignored because this new baby was born. She might the
younger sister might resent that they always trusted the oldest
daughter to do more adventurous things because she was the
golden child, and I didn't trust her to go out
on her own or whatever it is. It all comes
back to deeper shit. It's never about the one thing.
(27:07):
I notice anytime I get a resentment. I had something
happen where someone didn't thank me on my timeline. They
just didn't say thank you quick enough, And it was
like I was fucking pissed, like I was screaming about
it to my shrink. And then I remembered the saying,
which we've said many times. If it's hysterical, it's historical.
(27:28):
Clearly this isn't about so and so not thanking me.
This is about me feeling unseen, not cared about, not heard.
Not that I don't count from childhood. We all have
those things from childhood. A parent turned away at an
inopportune time, and suddenly we fucking feel unseen. It's to
(27:49):
unearth that stuff and work on that. So if she
and her sister had any fucking brains, which they don't
because they live in Florida, they would look into what
over the history of their life has led to this resentment.
And you know what, I bet at the end, these
four fucking hicck daughters would end up sharing this stupid necklace.
(28:13):
Who cares did you say? There's a dollar amount on
this thing, like ten grand?
Speaker 4 (28:17):
I don't know where. Why did I make that up?
I act like they were really rich or something.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, you know you can how and you're gonna think
this is corny, But I don't care. How beautiful would
be to be like, Okay, your season of wearing this
is winter or MindSpring. The other one gets into the
summer the other. It's just it would be so equal,
or they could be like, you know what, this is
a beautiful necklace, but I bet it would be better
(28:43):
to sell it. I'm gonna make up ten grand sell
it for that and we each buy something we like
in remembrance a mom. Yeah, but they're never going to
come to that solution or a good solution that And
let's let's say figure out the underlying resentment and the
issues that's going on. Does that make resonate with you?
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I think so? Yeah. I mean, I it's funny. As
I was reading this, I thought about when my grandmother
died and she was the oldest, and she had three sisters. Wow,
and they were the worst about everything because I was
handling the estate.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
All three of those goals were alive.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Yeah, I mean, she was my grandmother was the oldest. H.
I mean, I'm waiting for two of them to go.
I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
But we're love death hair.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Yeah, I do, we really do. I'm like, oh, I'll
be sad for my cousins. But other than that, Yeah,
it's I read this and I literally think of my
three I guess great aunts that's what they're called. And
for me, it brings up like you know, sometimes people
in your family are just assholes. But I don't have
(29:54):
it was in that particular moment for me, because that's
when they became shitty. They were just like my great aunts,
who were like whatever, and then in that moment they
became shitty. When you're talking about how the if it's
if it's you're hysterical, it's historical. Right, they grew this
is the sisters, they grew up together, right, she's the oldest,
so like there has to be something, something deeper. Yeah,
(30:18):
and uh, you know she should look at that and like,
I guess they could sell the necklace. I mean that
would be it is Florida. They could probably sell it
for math or whatever the fuck they're doing.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
I mean they all do math, the flora that they
all do it everyone And.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
It's how she stays so small.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
Yeah when she was ten and she's a.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
But yeah a little bit. I mean I could definitely
similar to what we were talking about. Yeah, I could
definitely see how it would. It's something maybe she needs
to look at.
Speaker 5 (30:47):
Well.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, because the whole thing is like with I've preached
to the choir about this freaking somatic therapy.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
I truly feel talk therapy is great.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
It's just not enough because it doesn't get it out
of our boy is where we.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Hold on to it.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
So that being said, she could take this issue to
a somatic therapist, which sounds like a big word, but
it's not. It just means in the body, someone who
does body practices and be like, I'm very upset over
this and I hate my sister. I'm charged up, and
she gets every thing want. They'd figure out where that
comes from pretty easily, pretty quick. Yeah, and that once
(31:24):
that gets dismantled, the hysterical part goes away and then
you can come up with the solution. But the solution
isn't going to find itself with this resentment. Like I know,
the more they say the more generous people are with us,
the more generous we are with other people. That is
so true with me, Like you, I was resentful of
(31:48):
someone for a while because I didn't feel they were
pulling their weight when it came to bringing things to
someone's house during a party or whatever. They one day
brought something to an event. I can't remember what it was,
but it was very small, and I was like, oh
my god, I love them.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
They did it. They brought something. I wasn't the only
one who brought an item to.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
This person's house. I'm like, oh shit, Now I feel
more generous towards my feelings for them. So I think
it's just it really opens us up. And I bet
if she'd uncover what's really going on, she'd be generous
with them and find out a solution to this necklace thing,
because it's.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
Not about the fucking necklace. Nobody gives a shit.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Yeah, probably not. Or you just beat the fuck out
of your oldest system.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
See it always comes down to that, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
I think. So I need more people. We need physical
justice in.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Okay, all right, fucking action Jackson over there, freaking idiot,
All right, next letter.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
All right, man, Dear Lisa. I'm a married mother of
three and gave up my career as a social worker
so my husband could work and I could stay home
and take care of the kids. Even though this was
discussed ahead of time. I still resent him for having
a fulfilling career while I'm stuck at home with the kids.
(33:10):
First of all, you're a social worker.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
And stop it.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
That is awesome? How awesome?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Well, shut up, it's not like it's awesome. It's a
soul's work. It sounds to me like the hardest job
in the world because you're seeing such sadness all the time.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I would never be able to do it. Do you
think this is something I should discuss with him or
just with my therapist as I've been doing.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
No, get your ass into a somatic therapist, meaning yeah,
you and your freaking therapist. That big Yenta could go.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
Around and around and around about then man? Should I say?
He's a man? How about a little action here.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Lady, How about taking some action and get this thing
out and to figure out why you volunteer for something
that ultimately you don't feel you can change, which, by
the way, you can change. You can't have a discussion
with him, why you're afraid, why your conflict avoid and
why you don't say something. Trust me, he knows. Like
we've I've lived with guys, Nick, you've lived with Have
(34:11):
you lived with a girl. Yet No, Okay, walking around
the house, they're gonna know some resentment be bruin because listen,
they don't.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
Want the East infection's brewing.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
They're gonna So this guy already knows, and he's probably
too much of a pussy to say anything. So first
of all, the question should I talk to my husband
is I duh? Yeah, you dumb con like you can't
hold it from him because guess who suffers then him,
the kids and you. Yeah, So how can we take
(34:44):
out the resentful attitude? Because as much as I never
had kids, I knew I didn't want I would never
want kids to sense unease around a house I grew
up in, you know, a family where my mother was
a yeller. You know, she loved yelling, or at least
cheap looked like she was having a good time. You
don't want to inflict that on the kids. It's gonna
(35:06):
come out sideways. You're gonna lose your temper with them.
So first of all, you're allowed to no longer just.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
Want to stay home.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
I think a lot of people think, well, I decided
this forty years ago, so now I can't change dreams
change you know, maybe it doesn't work out. Hey, I
thought I'd love staying home with the kids. Now I don't.
It's now that they're off to school. I kind of
resented a little. What can we do if you don't
have a husband you can talk to like that. That's
something to look at too. But you got to be
able to share this stuff.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Yeah, that I mean for me, that is especially in
romantic relationships in particular, speaking your truth can save you
from so many resentments, which is something. Even when I
have spoken the truth, I could something happens and I've
(35:56):
done this, and I could, literally I've done a million times.
Something happens in the moment I know I should speak
my truth, but I go no, and I hold on,
and it turns into resentment without doubt. Within minutes, it
turns out the resentment. A handful of times out of
the million times this has fucking happened, I've stopped myself,
(36:16):
calmed myself down, and go, hey, I really don't appreciate
X y Z. Here's what's going on with me. I
just want to let you know. And guess what. Almost
every time I've done that, it has been accepted yep,
and everything's fine and we avoid all the fucking dumb shit.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
And even though I know, oh wow, that's historically gone
very well for me and it works, I still will
opt for the other, which is something I think is
probably one of my number one focuses for this year,
and just in general my life is like just saying
here's what I'm feeling, yep, and making it go away,
(36:54):
versus me just spiraling and holding on to it and
then waiting in the fucking wings for something to happen
and then oh, what about this or what about that?
So like, yeah, you gotta well first of all, and
if you can't do it with that person, if you
do speak your truth and they're like, well, fuck you,
it's the.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Wrong person, right, And that's something you learn early on
in life of how to keep yourself safe. So she,
as a kid may have learned if I tell my truth,
I'm gonna get yelled at, or I'm gonna be punished,
(37:29):
or I'm gonna be in trouble.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Well, that's honest, and that's.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
What you work through with the therapist of like, wait,
I'm with a safe enough guy, hopefully that I can
say this and it won't be met with fury and
rage and yelling well, once that's on earth, and it's
like ooh, I can experiment and like you said, tell
the truth and then you're not carrying it around and
it does work out, and then it stops being a
(37:56):
million times I didn't say something and ten times I
did to that number of saying it and being safe,
growing and being that normal way of life. Oh, talking
to that mic, what are you afraid of here? No,
you're supposed to have it right in front of you.
If I didn't say something, no, if I didn't say so,
(38:17):
mine have resentment. I wouldn't have resent man I read no, gross,
I wouldn't resent it now. I'd resent it next week
when I had to listen and go, could you pump
up his mic?
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Because you.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
Anyway? What was saying?
Speaker 4 (38:31):
No, it probably didn't count.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
No, I was just saying, I've even the hardest thing
right now. I'm sitting here thinking about like the like
been given opportunities to speak my truth by mostly romantic partners,
and still my stubbornness in that moment, I've still been like, well, no,
I'm fine, everything's fine.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
But I don't think it's stubbornness. It is not.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
It is that you learned that was the way of
surviving as a kid. Yeah, and but remembering you're not
in survival mode anymore. You're with safe people and you're
not gonna die. If you bring something up and it
doesn't land perfectly, you will survive it. That's really that's
that's hard to learn. But the more times you do it,
(39:14):
the easier it gets.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Yeah, I would love for it to get soon.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Well fucking practice it, you fat there doesn't have a
mic in your mouth?
Speaker 3 (39:23):
One more letter right? Number three here?
Speaker 4 (39:27):
Number three is number three, like doing a.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Number one and a number two at the same time,
like shitting and peeing at the same time.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
Do you ever do that?
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Stephanie, She's like, you don't talk to me the whole time.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Now involved in this. I hate you all both right now.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Dear Lisa, what when I married my wife, I expected
to split holidays equally.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
By this repect, you gotta not expect that ship. You
gotta have the talk.
Speaker 4 (39:59):
That's a big one. That's a big one.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Oh God, Wait with our respective family. Since her family
is fancier, oh and slightly closer in distance, she hardly
ever wants to see my family. I know my family
is angry at me for disappearing. But I'd rather have
them angry at them angry at me than her.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Then oh then then them being mad at him being
mad at her.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
Do I have to choose between my wife or my family?
Or can I have both?
Speaker 4 (40:26):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (40:27):
That is so hard, because honestly, I don't know why
couples don't just split up and go to their own
families of origin, because I never wanted to be with
my partner's family. Every boyfriend I ever had, I was like, Eh.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
First of all, it was Big Fat Frank.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
His mother and father had rheumatoid arthritis and all they
did was complain in their little, tiny apartment in Yonkers.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
It was a lot.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
So I'm like, what am I? That's festive, isn't it.
Then there's like, oh, you were Actually my ex husband
Jimmy's parents were really fun.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, his father, especially Big Frank, like he could you
just give it back to him? You know? So I
did enjoy them, So that was the one relationship I
didn't mind splitting them on.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
But all the others I dated.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Were just a bunch of crazies, And I was like,
can't I just go to mind and you go to yours,
which people obviously can't, especially when they have kids. But
the fancier thing is weird.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
Yeah, like is he? I mean there's so many questions
I have. Does your family suck? Are they poor? And
your wife doesn't like them because she came from money? Oh?
How many factors? I don't know. There's so many questions
to be asked. I feel like, well, I feel like, also, fancy,
what the fuck does that have to do with anything?
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Also, when I think sometimes your family of origin is
the place for some lucky people where they could be
more themselves and let their hair down. Yeah, and then
the other person wants to be with their people where
they can let their hair down and be more themselves.
I haven't had to deal with this a lot, thank god,
(42:06):
but pardon me, is like, thank god, I just have
my family and that's it.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
I could just go there.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
Yeah, oh god, I do love. I gotta tell you,
being having no family almost.
Speaker 4 (42:17):
Yeah, it's the best.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
I don't know, man, you're a fucking free agent, dude.
You know, like a friend's houses I've gone to, and
I guess I have my small group that I don't
have no family, but it's just my dad and I
so like we get the small thing going, but then
we see our cousins and the aunts and we get
together once. But it's like twelve people. That's great. No,
but that's fine, Yeah, that's fine. But like these people
(42:39):
with like the we have to go to my aunt Marie's,
there's forty seven people that come and we have to
do all the things and all the well.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
See, the worst is I feel for my nieces and
nephews because like my niece, let me see, they go
to our families, like our family in the morning, and
then they got to go to hers or the spouses
in the afternoon. They're the ones running and being on
(43:08):
this weird time schedule, Like when do you just sit
and relax, Like to me, that's a real hard thing.
And you're running out in the cold and you're driving
in the car and probably fighting. So I'm like, thank god,
I'm not in that position. So I feel for this person.
Speaker 4 (43:26):
Maybe it's the thing of you.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
I always like that model of we did your family
last year on Thanksgiving. This year's are with my family
on Thanksgiving. Same with Christmas. Like that flopping instead of
driving around sounds better, but it sounds like his wife
doesn't want to go to his clammy poor family's house.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Yeah, there's something else going on here. It's not just
the but her family's fancy and they live closer. But like,
I mean, how far is your family? Is it twenty
minutes versus an hour?
Speaker 4 (43:55):
That's true?
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Is it twenty minute drive versus a plane ride? Okay,
a little different, but still like to have a set tradition,
like even with me, like with my you know, no family,
but I knew, like I went to my mother's side Christmas,
even Christmas Day, I was with my dad's side.
Speaker 4 (44:10):
I know.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
That was like ever since I was a kid, that
was it. And then now it's changed, but like that's
how it was. You just know what to do. So, yeah,
there's there's other shit happening here that we don't wear.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Because when you call your other side fancier, it's almost
an insult. Yeah, it's saying they're rich, bitch snobs or something.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
Yeah, it don't like like who knows. I'm I'm thinking
his family or her family probably was like why are
you marrying this? Fucking Look at the family he comes from,
I know, and he's just like a you know, he's
an enneagram nine and he's big pussy. He's like and
he's just like, yeah, I'll do it, but like, yeah,
there's there's more.
Speaker 4 (44:47):
There's always more to it.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Man.
Speaker 4 (44:48):
Why didn't everybody just stay single and then you just
do what you want?
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Yeah, bro, I.
Speaker 4 (44:54):
Don't get this marriage stuff, dude.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Although I have to be honest, I will see couples
that I'm like, ooh, they got it down. They do
this family Thanksgiving, they do the other side Christmas, they
do this on New Year's for just themselves.
Speaker 4 (45:10):
They do this.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
So I'm like, oh there. But again, every couple I
think of, because I could think of three right now, who,
in my opinion, do it without conflict or as seemingly
no conflict, I'm like, ooh, they talked about it before,
they really got it straight before. So this whole like,
(45:31):
we're not going to really talk about it. I'm just
gonna be resentful of the fancier relatives. It's not their
fault they're fancier. Some of us just got a lot
of fucking money, Okay, all right, some of the us some.
Speaker 4 (45:42):
Made a killing calling people cuns. Okay.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
They say it's not an honest way to live it.
It's a fucking best right, Stephanie, Of course I'm right.
Speaker 4 (45:49):
Don't even let it talk. It don't matter.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Let's hear from Stephanie. What do you think if you
got married to some asshole?
Speaker 4 (46:00):
Would you how would you?
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Wait?
Speaker 4 (46:02):
You got how would you spit? Split your holidays?
Speaker 5 (46:05):
I am so far removed from that thought because I
can't even get a boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (46:10):
Wait? Wait, wait wait?
Speaker 2 (46:13):
What is wrong with all these young, available, hot girls
not having boyfriends?
Speaker 4 (46:22):
How does that not happen? Because you're inarguably cute, You're smart,
you have a good job. You get to work with talent.
What is yeah? And Nick lose? All right? You get
to do charity work by working with Nick?
Speaker 2 (46:38):
What's with the no boyfriend? Why is it difficult? Tell us?
Speaker 5 (46:42):
I don't know, but some people have called me intense,
which is the eight UFA.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
You are an enneagram A. Listen to la episode and
you are intense? Yes, but no, I don't think it's
you because I'm not saying what's wrong with you? Because
you have many things right with you. But Celia too
is like, oh god, I'm getting a boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (47:02):
It's so hard? Is this a generational thing? In my day?
Speaker 2 (47:07):
You just put out and you had a boyfriend boom
done pegging? What And that wasn't a thing I don't
think anyway. So what why is it difficult for women
your age to get these boyfriends to nail it down?
Speaker 5 (47:21):
People just are not initiating. They're looking at their phones.
It's not like, oh, I'm going to ask this person
for directions because like I have maps on my phone.
So nobody talks anymore. There's no small conversations like there
used to be.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
Damn.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Yeah, there's no like bid for connection they call it,
So there's no reason And are you someone because of
your intensity if somebody did try to try to strike
up a conversation of like a sweet nature, you'd be like, oh,
that's so stupid.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
I know, because yeah, I forget it.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
No, because there's this relationship expert couple who is just
the best gotmans and they talk about things called bids
for connection, which is say there's like a cute guy
in the hall and you're kind of out there too.
Speaker 4 (48:12):
And he goes, oh my god, look like you can
see the.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
Statue Liberty from here, the Empire State Building, or it's
say you're in the suburbs and he's like, oh my god,
look at a blue Jay.
Speaker 4 (48:20):
Wow cool, and like that's a bid for connection.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
He's trying to connect and it would take literally five
seconds for the person to be like, oh my god,
wow that is true, and then the conversation goes from there.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
They feel seen, you feel valued all that.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
But you're a little toughye, So I wonder if you'd
be like, oh, yeah it is yeah, I see the
Empire State building, Homo. I know you wouldn't say the day,
but I wonder if you have a little bit of
a do you have a little edge to you, a
little wall up with that?
Speaker 5 (48:53):
Yeah? I think so, but in my head, like I'm
not going to act that way towards them.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Right, but they sense it probably yeah, because you have
that abrupt You have sort of an abruptness in a
way you speak, and it's like, oh god, that's so steady.
That's my that's my Stephanie voice in my head. Like
when I text her, I know she's thinking, Lisa is
so too bad. I know, I know, I got Stephanie down.
I know she's talking about us in her head. Yeah,
(49:17):
she's like Nicks, the good one, Lisa is so needy.
Speaker 4 (49:21):
I need everything by Thursday. You've God forbid. I worked
on the weekend Boundaries. Boundaries you know, but nobody it is.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
We have to do an episode sometime on dating, because
that is hard. I do not envy anyone, and anytime
one of my students at this college I teach you say,
oh my boyfriend this, I'm almost like, oh, man, have
you found a guy who will commit and you.
Speaker 4 (49:44):
Also like him? Like it almost seems like a miracle.
Speaker 3 (49:48):
Yeah, those guys are all usually.
Speaker 4 (49:50):
Gay, though, what at my school?
Speaker 3 (49:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (49:52):
Oh, Guarantee College.
Speaker 5 (49:54):
That's why I couldn't find anyone for those four years.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Wait wait, wait, you went to lord them there. It's
not an art I teach at an acting school, so
you I.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
Mean girls forming arts school. There's the musical theatermeators, you're
telling me at Fordham in the Bronx, Yes, you couldn't
find a guy that wanted to go downtown.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Well sort of, so she found a sex play but
not a lot of commitment.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
College guys in the Bronx.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Oh my god, we got to do an episode on Stephanie,
the emotionally invulnerable Fordham graduate who somehow only found gay
guys at Fordham. You have a special sense of sniffing
people out for that. Yeah, well we'll be back with
her at some point.
Speaker 4 (50:35):
Nick, where can people hear the podcast?
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Guys?
Speaker 4 (50:38):
Guy, you know what you keep forgetting you're supposed to go?
Thanks for listening. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Guys, if you want to reach out to us, please
email emails email us at shrink This Show at gmail
dot com. That is Shrink the Show at gmail dot com.
Also listen to us wherever you get podcas cast, but
especially your iHeart Radio app.
Speaker 4 (51:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
iHeart radio, the place where dreams go to and where
Stephanie never goes to get lades?
Speaker 4 (51:15):
Does your mother listen to this? Stephanie?
Speaker 5 (51:17):
Sometimes?
Speaker 4 (51:20):
Is your mom Puerto Rican.
Speaker 5 (51:22):
Or Whiteto Rican? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (51:24):
I know your father. It's a poppy tudle.
Speaker 5 (51:27):
He's Irish?
Speaker 4 (51:28):
Oh god? Really?
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Okay, so you got an Irish donkey on one side,
yet it's half a Porto Rican on the other side.
Speaker 4 (51:36):
That's well, she has half Irish and Puerto Rican. That's intense.
She's tough, right, She's a tough little lady.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
Is she a tiny, tiny dancer like you? Oh?
Speaker 4 (51:48):
My dad? Taller guy? Okay? So normal ish?
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Oh my god, Stephanie, you have our utmost sympathy.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
She's an only child.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
If if you want to get into Stephanie, not to
date her or to date her, send her an email
at s T E p h l A n E
E underscore correct and by the way, don't be coming
out to do what the black people say when they
say come on her.
Speaker 4 (52:17):
Correct. You gotta come correct.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
You can't be coming with the d ms of like
hey girl, he don't do nothing like that. Just say ham,
I'm a respectful, nice guy. I'd like to go and
watch a bluebird with you, and she will roll her
eyes secretly and think you're gay.
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it
all and her words come from her head, her heart,
and often out of her ass. His podcast should not
be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a
huge strain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These you need help, You're the problems.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Come on, come, don.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Go cleamb take a pill. I think you're insane.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Do what I said, dumb ass, listen to me. Hey, everybody,
it's your old ball. Licia Lisa Lampernel is here to sado.
I'm here on Shrink this podcast with my good friend
(01:00):
and what's your name again?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Side howdy? My name is Italian gay boy Joe.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Are you? It's Nick Scope, a laddie everybody.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Neck?
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Where can people find you? On social medal?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
You can follow me Nick Scopes on Instagram. I have
a really cute headshot.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
It is ok there, It is really cute.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Little gay. But it's good because it hides the rest
of my sloppy body.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
No, you know what it is.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
It's an acting headshot. It's really good and Nick, this
is what I hate. Nick's stupid comedy. Friends are being like, oh,
nice head shot, a whole f word for gay, and
I'm like, no, like, it's just a good acting headshot.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Don't be stupid. They're just jealous.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
It's funny. No, it's funny.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
I don't even really care because they're like, oh, what
is his headshot? Dude? I'm like, who cares?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
This is what I resent is when you complain to
me and now you're acting like it's okay Stephanie.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
What I'm speaking?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
There's no speaking over there. I get charged up on
your behalf. We talked about any of you, Graham in the
last episode. I'm very protective, so I'm like, oh, I'm
defending your headshot.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Well, fuck you. I don't care. I am sick of you.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Also, I am sick of our next person here, Stephanie.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
It's been two episodes.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I already want to kill myself, just kidding. Thank you
for filling in for the poor, dead departed Celia.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
It's not dead, she just is sick.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
So this is our Stephanie Lane with the worst fucking
Instagram handle, but I'm going to promote it anyway. It's
Steph Lane with an additional E and an underscore, am,
I correct s te p h l A n ee underscore?
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Is that what it is?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Okay, it's fine, it's fine. She has like shots on
there versus a ten year old which we were taken
last week.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Nick.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
You know, I've been thinking a lot about resentment because
I know we're in like almost the month of Love February.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
However, people in the middle of no in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Of January like it's time to let go of resentments,
and I'm like, we already did an episode on resentments.
But as someone who now has a spiritual practice of
one of my practices journaling every day to get out
the junk, They're like, do you have any resentment still
rattling around down there? And the answer was yes.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Do you know why I came up?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
It never stopped, And I was like, these have got
to be let go, These have got to happen, So
don't judge me. Stephanie won't judge me because she's fucking call.
But I had to write this list of resentments over
a week because as I'm journaling every day, different things
are coming up. Ex boyfriends, family members who I no
longer talk to, who are long dead, like literally you know,
(04:09):
I won't say who, but grandparents on a certain side
who weren't great, people from my past, friends that didn't
work out, or just resentments about myself, things I've done
wrong and I judge myself still.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
So I wrote this list.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
It was probably like twenty things, and they said you
should burn each one individually outside, because I was trying
not to set my house on fire because.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
As you know, there would be three.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Homeless dogs, including me. So I was like, okay, so burn.
And I don't think like a ceremonial burning is a
magical thing, but I do think it kind of releases something.
There's something about just watching it in flames and then
hit the bottom of this metal box and going okay.
(04:58):
Metal box also is my name on grinder, so it
helped it. I would just say it loosened those resentments
up a little. So I felt I went into twenty
twenty six with no resentments, or at least very few,
and I was like, let's see.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
If anyone in there.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Well, this morning, as you know, I got a new phone,
so all these Instagram dms come in that I didn't
know about because my old phone, I guess, was not
letting me see them, and these were from like literally
twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen, the crazy times that I wasn't
even on Instagram. And one was this kid who's like, hey,
(05:40):
you used to date my uncle and he used to
speak very fondly of you and how nice and funny
you were. He's passed away, but just figured i'd say hi.
So I deleted it because this was the guy who
was not a good guy. He was an alcoholic. He
(06:02):
is an active alcoholic. I couldn't deal with it, and
not a good person. Well, I didn't know I had
a resentment to this guy till his fucking.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Little jerk has to tell me. And now I'm like,
he's dead good.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
There was a great quote for him. I think it
was Betty Davis where he.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Says, mother, then never speak good about the dead. She's
dead good. I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I think it was like Betty Davis or some old
battle axe. But it's funny how you think you're kind
of not carrying anything in. But I'm like, I secretly
still have a resentment, and I'm glad of the death.
I didn't cause the death of this guy. I didn't
kill him. I have nothing to feel guilty about. Do
you think you have any resentment still rattling around down
(06:53):
there that you have to unearth and get rid of
as we go into the second part of this year.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Actually had something happen recently, not not specifically, but just
overall resentments. And I was talking to someone and the
joke that I always make with our buddy Bow he
always makes about me is that I'm a scorekeeper. Oh okay,
which is like annoying, but I'm very much the person
like someone says some to me that I don't like,
and I'm like, oh, interesting.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Interesting, and like I'll start in the old filing cabinet.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
I'll come back to that again. Parts of me I
really don't like. But recently I was someone was saying
something to me and I just went, oh, like a
joking manner, I remember that. And then the person goes,
why don't you take notes? On the fact that I'm
not taking notes, I'm just and I was like, that's
really good, and I was like, yeah, I probably.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Shouldn't so them saying they do not scorekeep.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Yeah, because it's just it's not it's not good.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
What does the process look like?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
So you're this person says something you don't like, you're
kind of making a little fucking note of it made
pretty obvious in the conversation, even if it's not out loud.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Hey I'm keeping score. What then do you do with that?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Just lay in the grass and wait, yeah, wait.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
To strike yep, So that you would then next time
be like, oh yeah, well that time you dot dot dot.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Well just yeah if they say something, do something like
really because if they contradict how they were the first.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Time, yep.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I like, I hate that about myself, Like I have
to hold everyone to like, oh really, I don't you
sent this, No, this is happening. I've done that at uh.
I would say at work probably the most right right
easily with with like coworkers and things like that, where
I'm like, oh, okay.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
It's at yeah yeah, like your fucking mattlock or some shit.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
But not the Kathy Bates version because she lost weight
and you're still misshapen.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah I'm fat.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, Stephanie high five because she hates fat too.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Are you a bit of a do you?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Do you have any resentments in your heart for things
that you should or could have let go of years
ago or months ago or maybe days ago, other than
us Uh?
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Yeah, I have a lot, but twenty six is my
year to get rid of the Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Sir, So what do you think your process might look like?
What would a practice look around that well.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
I mentioned in the last episode about this like ex
guy friend of mine. The only reason why I answered
his text was because I was like, okay, like, let's
get this done with. Let's not have any more like
resentment or built up anger about it. Let's just deal
with it and then go on with my life. So
I feel like it's been going well.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I like how she's like very to the point she's like, look,
we are not carrying resentment anymore, like we are doing it.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
I hope it does.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I hope that could get dislodged as easily for some others,
because it is hard to like be like that person
really did me wrong, Like how am I supposed to
let it go? I obviously feel like I win with
this guy who from my past kind of resurface the
memory because I win because I'm alive. He's dead, right,
that's fucking hilarious, But I do. Most of my ex
(10:16):
boyfriends are dead, which is like a blessing to the world.
So one guy, though I really had resented him. It
was this guy Andy that I dated when I was
in my twenties. It was like emotional torture. This is
a different guy. Emotional back and forth broke up like
a hundred times. And I remember getting an email from someone, Oh,
(10:40):
I think you used to know Andy, so and so
he died a few years ago, blah blah blah, and
I was like happy, Like I don't even get it,
Like we're gonna have listeners, Like that's so mean to
be happy someone's dead. Well, you know what, Okay, so
you're better than me. But if someone's a scourge on
the planet, like, I'm not gonna be sad they're dead.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Like Jeffrey Epstein, I was so happy when he was dead.
So this guy Andy dies and I was gleeful. I
would dare say gleeful. And I said, let me look
up how.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
This fucker died, because let me see if it was painful.
So most of my other ex boyfriends hadn't been that rotten,
so I didn't want them in pain. It would have
been nice if it was in their sleep whatever. Most
of them just died from complications of fat So I
was like to go, let's like, I mean you're one
foot on the old banana people. So I looked it
(11:37):
up and I could not find an obituary for this guy.
I could not find any, but what came up instead,
because he was about I guess sixty when he died.
A guy came up who with the same name, who
was twenty eight and died an obituary and I read
it and it was super sad because he had a
(11:58):
little kid and a w and I resemble, excuse me,
I remember saying, holy shit, I'm going to not I'm
gonna make an effort not to be gleeful about this
other guy's death because this guy's death is so sad
to me. So it's almost like it took a little
(12:19):
wind out of that. It took a little of the
resentment and anger, because I go, it's just a sadder
thing to think about that someone's life was grabbed away
from him like that, this twenty eight year old. Sure
he could have been another alcoholic, abusive pothead, but probably not,
you know. So I think sometimes it's just rejiggering how
(12:40):
we think of, like something jogs us out of, like
the staying in, the hate and the resentment.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know if anything's ever jogged
me out of anything, but we're just I haven't jogged
much in a life, I know. Hey, he laugh really
hard at that stuff. I don't like that. Yeah, I
don't know. It's funny. We had we kind of had
this combo in the car on the way down of
like I know, for me, I like teeter back and
(13:07):
forth where like I don't know if you've ever felt
this way, but I know I have where like I
feel that I have to hold on to resentments or
things because they fuel me to do shit or do
better at work, or do better in the gym, or
do better at common and like so I think sometimes
(13:27):
I hold onto it because I don't know how to
positively motivate myself sometimes more positively just you know, doing
the work and just normal stuff and getting better. It
always has to be like this fight or flight, like
I have to fucking kill this person and they said this,
and fuck you for making me feel this, I'll kill you. Know. Yeah,
(13:50):
I think it's it's.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Exhausting, that's the thing. It ends up like hurting us
more by the energy.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
No idea, that's the word. They really have no idea
some of these people about the resentments us. Yeah, yeah,
you're just like, what what happened? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:05):
I mean that.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Okay, sorry, my bad girl, you know, but now I
fall on the other side of like before resentment even
has a chance to happen, I just say the truth
all the time and trying to say it nicer, like,
for instance, like instead of sitting in the I brought
(14:27):
this up in a different episode, sitting in the restaurant
and it's cold and not moving the seat or not
bringing in like a sweater or not saying hey, could
you turn down the a sea it's really cold in here,
Like I can't let anything go or else. I know,
it's just gonna build and build, and it's gonna be
this rock internally.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
That people like, well, why didn't you just say something?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, you know, like sometimes I'll say to you or
the guys at the diner or whatever, uh, okay, you're
paying tonight because part of me like, well, my presence
is a gift, so you're paying, Like, am I right?
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Am I wrong? It doesn't matter. I for some reason
feel like I want you to pay, and then it
would be up to you guys to be like why.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I mean, I don't know, I just feel that way.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yeah, well, just like it worries me.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Because Ginsburg Andrew he one of my good friends. He
I helped him write this one person show that he
did about a year and a half ago. I did
it for free because we're friends, and also because you know,
I'm flush, I'm wealthy, pay off mortgage. Come on, no,
(15:43):
but what's I was just like, oh, it's it's a
definitely a help or trade.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
It's out of love.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
And I didn't want anything in return. But we go
out to lunch every Tuesday and he will never let
me pick up the check, like he always is like nope, nope, nope, nope.
And one day it was his birthday on the day
and I was like, no, I get it.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
It's your birthday. It's like no, and I'm like, I'm
doing it today. So he has an I owe it
to you thing.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah, And so I think maybe someone in my position
who had helped someone would feel resentment if the guy
didn't grab it every time, And I honestly I probably would,
or at least I'd add it up in my head. Dude,
I'd be like this where I'd go all right, let
me see. So it would probably be like twenty grand
for help on that show. How much is twenty grand's
(16:38):
worth of breakfast ten years?
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Stephanie?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
What is twenty thousand divided by twenty go? If you
can't do twenty thousand divided by it's a thousand, you're Asian?
Speaker 4 (16:50):
Like even Hi, she is not a thousand breakfasts? How many?
That's three years of breakfast?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Is? So I'll allow it for three years. I think
it's a year and a half so far. So, but
I think I think I probably.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
Would resent it a little if he didn't grab that check?
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, yeah, what would have to be the frequency every
time or every other what?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
What do you mean like if oh oh, if he no,
if he didn't grab it for three years, I'd be
pissed because that's twenty grand. I figure shit out in
my head, like I'm fucking really. What's weird is my
mother always says rich people are rich because they keep
their money. It doesn't mean you're cheap or cheap with
yourself or with others, but it means he don't mistake
(17:36):
me for a fucking fool, Like I'm the type. Right now,
there's this, I'm an idiot. I ordered some fucking four
items of clothing from some shady Chinese place.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
It was advertised on TikTok. I thought it was reliable.
I'm stupid. They said they sent the package. It's mark delivered,
but no photo. I'm stupid because they go, well, we
can refund you seventy percent and way, I want a
few props right now for not doing a Chinese accent.
You're welcome, so thank you all.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
So so I'm stupid.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I go to go, we can give you a partial
refund or send them again, and I go, you know
what they mean, Well, sends it again.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Of course it never arrives.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Now we're at the point of like, dudes, you fed
me seventy percent. Come on, I'll take the refund. It's fine.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
So who do I have to resent? There?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Pretty much myself because I fed up with this company
by even trusting them. But there's also the thing of like, wow,
I the whole rich people thing. It's like, does that
money count? Is it life changing money? Is it even
(18:49):
enough to argue over?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
No?
Speaker 4 (18:51):
But also, don't.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Make me into a fool, because then my resentment will grow.
I just don't like people making me into a fool.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Do you ever see a retaliation, So that's most of
my retaliation.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So it makes you feel like, yeah, So I think
we have to always draw the line between Okay, when
do we sense it start to build and when are
we just not giving people any chance whatsoever to make.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
A mistake at all?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Because I don't really like mistakes. Why does everybody make mistakes?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
And I'm not We're perfect?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I say, we motherfucker we Yeah, no, I I.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Am because I imagine. Okay, so this is how we work it.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Nick drives into the city and he drives both of
us and I then venmo him money.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
So I often wonder myself. I wonder if I never.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Started doing that, how resentful he would have grown, and
when he would have brought it up, Like would it
have been like a year, would it be two years?
Would it be like oban jokey joking Nick, you know,
was sending me some scratch for that buck? It wouldn't
kill me, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (20:06):
So, like would it have eventually been like what's going
on here?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
It's funny with money, I am a little different where
like probably it would build up. But also I'm the
type like even in relationships and things like that like
I just pay and I don't ask for anything from anyone,
or like I'll just do and go. Nope, I'm not
gonna because because I came from ah, you know, my
dad didn't me went bankrupt twice and that money so
(20:34):
like to me, like asking for money or being like whatever,
it's like a sign of like weakness. I could take
care of myself. I don't need to fucking do that.
So like it would definitely after a while, I'd be like,
you got a few mortgages, throw me some guess money,
all this throw.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
All this shows me is that I could have gone
for like a year now and not given you you
Would you be the type to bring it up calmly
or would you have to joke your way into it?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
I don't really know talk into the MICI dumb ass.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
I don't, I don't, I don't really know. I think
it would have depended on a few things. It would
have maybe gotten to a boiling point.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Yeah, so you would have let it go too long.
It's okay, you're young.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Yeah am I Well?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
No, I mean that these are hard things, like it's
hard to say somebody to somebody, hey, you know.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
What I've been driving for a while and like that's hard.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Yeah, it is hard. I think I eventually would have
been able to. But like even again in relationships, like
even things that should be split in or fair, I
will never ask that person to like split or whatever,
like no, I just just eat it. I'm like, no,
I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Pay, and nothing builds up inside or it kind of
does a little bit, you score, keep.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
It a little No, I think I think a tiny bit.
But also when it comes to that, it's like the
I know if it's the fear or the wanting to
not be like people I grew up with, Yeah, with
the money thing that overrides everything where it's like, no,
I'm not like I have I like the one thing
that drives me nuts. And maybe I've spoken about it
(22:10):
in the past, but like if you're going out with
a group of people and you're eating, you split the
check evenly.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
See I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
See it's not I don't know, but like if you're
all eating the same food, like oh.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, if you're eating the same food, but sometimes we're
at the diner, you've smells and I call you you odors.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
Order these big things.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yo.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
The one day I'll get a cappuccino.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I'll fucking uh black and white cookie, and they want
me to get forty I.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Said, Andrew gives a hundred joy is.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Such a people pleasing nine peacemaker. Listen to our enneagram
issue if you don't know what that means that he
always orders the same thing because he has crones and
he's eating disordered, and he'll always get this dopey chicken
wrap and give me half of it for my dog
and always put in like fifty and I'm just like, wow.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Yeah, it's too much. No, no, no. I think when
you go out to like a dinner like we all
went to tow Yeah, like if someone.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
At that table, oh, I would kill them right.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
If they wouldn't be invited, all right, But if someone
at the table was like, well I didn't drink, nope
that I don't drink, me and you both, yeah, But
if you and I were like, well the drink. I've
been out because nothing, almost nothing will bring me to
murder faster than that, like the whole well, I'm just
paying my thing. It's like no, no, no, you're out. You're
(23:33):
with everybody. You split it, that's it, don't fucking plan.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
I remember once.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
This is when I was first friends with my friends
Bonnie and Bobby, and there were several other people at
this dinner we went to in of all places in
New Hampshire because we went to see a friend's show. Okay,
Bonnie sent us all and this is not her fault.
This is because she knew there'd be pushedback from some
of these people at this table. A literal spreadsheet, an
(24:00):
Excel spreadsheet, of every single item on what people owed.
And the next time we're out to dinner and I said,
and by the way, there's no fucking spreadsheet. We're all adults.
It all evens out in the end, everyone's splitting. It
is that okay, And they knew better because I'm an
eight and I'm gonna fucking yell at you.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
But be a fucking adult, dude, you know.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I just think it's if somebody is in financial hardship,
should they.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Be going to town.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
No, they should just be like, you know what, I'm
going to take so and so out to celebrate a
different night at a place we can all afford. But
for the most part, the people you're with have the
same level. It should just be split without a resentment.
But yeah, resentment's like tough.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah, so hey.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
At this point, the only person I resent is you
for taking that money for parking, even though I could
have gotten away with it. And I resent Stephanie for
having a really shitty Instagram handle.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
That's right, it's really bad. Also, since it's twenty twenty
six now, the the cost has gone up. Oh I
don't know if you've heard of that. I'm not talking
about my tis No.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
Luckily the tariffs kept it down.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Dear Lisa. Yeah, I'm sixty five years old.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Disgusting, gross, gross. I hate it.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
My mom died last year. I'm very close and she
had a necklace. My three sisters all knew I wanted,
oh no, but my oldest sister was like a vulture
and grabbed it. And where is it to family functions? Now?
It makes me sick to my stomach. I hate her
for it.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
She always gets what she wants. And I know if
I confront her and she'll say, I'm acting like a baby.
How do you handle this? Thanks? G J E A
N n E.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Janine Jean wait j wait, hold on, hold on see
I resent that she has a shitty name.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
J E N J And I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
J E A right and n E.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
That's gene. Oh yeah, I believe it or not.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
It is Florida anyway.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
That makes sense.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Well, you know what, This is what I always say.
It's not the thing. Is never about the thing. This
is not about a did you do to preach sister? Yes,
the thing is about the thing. It's not about the necklace.
Because she said something like she always gets what she wants.
(26:24):
This is clearly someone who she has resentment with and
anger with for years. And if they just would tweeze
it apart, they'd find out the real issue.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
It's not the freakin necklace. Why the sister took the necklace.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
The sister might have a resented the sister's the oldest one.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
The oldest sister took the necklace.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah, so she might resent that from birth she got
ignored because this new baby was born. She might the
younger sister might resent that they always trusted the oldest
daughter to do more adventurous things because she was the
golden child, and I didn't trust her to go out
on her own or whatever it is. It all comes
back to deeper shit. It's never about the one thing.
(27:07):
I notice anytime I get a resentment. I had something
happen where someone didn't thank me on my timeline. They
just didn't say thank you quick enough, And it was
like I was fucking pissed, like I was screaming about
it to my shrink. And then I remembered the saying,
which we've said many times. If it's hysterical, it's historical.
(27:28):
Clearly this isn't about so and so not thanking me.
This is about me feeling unseen, not cared about, not heard.
Not that I don't count from childhood. We all have
those things from childhood. A parent turned away at an
inopportune time, and suddenly we fucking feel unseen. It's to
(27:49):
unearth that stuff and work on that. So if she
and her sister had any fucking brains, which they don't
because they live in Florida, they would look into what
over the history of their life has led to this resentment.
And you know what, I bet at the end, these
four fucking hicck daughters would end up sharing this stupid necklace.
(28:13):
Who cares did you say? There's a dollar amount on
this thing, like ten grand?
Speaker 4 (28:17):
I don't know where. Why did I make that up?
I act like they were really rich or something.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, you know you can how and you're gonna think
this is corny, But I don't care. How beautiful would
be to be like, Okay, your season of wearing this
is winter or MindSpring. The other one gets into the
summer the other. It's just it would be so equal,
or they could be like, you know what, this is
a beautiful necklace, but I bet it would be better
(28:43):
to sell it. I'm gonna make up ten grand sell
it for that and we each buy something we like
in remembrance a mom. Yeah, but they're never going to
come to that solution or a good solution that And
let's let's say figure out the underlying resentment and the
issues that's going on. Does that make resonate with you?
Speaker 3 (29:04):
I think so? Yeah. I mean, I it's funny. As
I was reading this, I thought about when my grandmother
died and she was the oldest, and she had three sisters. Wow,
and they were the worst about everything because I was
handling the estate.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
All three of those goals were alive.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Yeah, I mean, she was my grandmother was the oldest. H.
I mean, I'm waiting for two of them to go.
I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
But we're love death hair.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Yeah, I do, we really do. I'm like, oh, I'll
be sad for my cousins. But other than that, Yeah,
it's I read this and I literally think of my
three I guess great aunts that's what they're called. And
for me, it brings up like you know, sometimes people
in your family are just assholes. But I don't have
(29:54):
it was in that particular moment for me, because that's
when they became shitty. They were just like my great aunts,
who were like whatever, and then in that moment they
became shitty. When you're talking about how the if it's
if it's you're hysterical, it's historical. Right, they grew this
is the sisters, they grew up together, right, she's the oldest,
so like there has to be something, something deeper. Yeah,
(30:18):
and uh, you know she should look at that and like,
I guess they could sell the necklace. I mean that
would be it is Florida. They could probably sell it
for math or whatever the fuck they're doing.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
I mean they all do math, the flora that they
all do it everyone And.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
It's how she stays so small.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
Yeah when she was ten and she's a.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
But yeah a little bit. I mean I could definitely
similar to what we were talking about. Yeah, I could
definitely see how it would. It's something maybe she needs
to look at.
Speaker 5 (30:47):
Well.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, because the whole thing is like with I've preached
to the choir about this freaking somatic therapy.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
I truly feel talk therapy is great.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
It's just not enough because it doesn't get it out
of our boy is where we.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Hold on to it.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
So that being said, she could take this issue to
a somatic therapist, which sounds like a big word, but
it's not. It just means in the body, someone who
does body practices and be like, I'm very upset over
this and I hate my sister. I'm charged up, and
she gets every thing want. They'd figure out where that
comes from pretty easily, pretty quick. Yeah, and that once
(31:24):
that gets dismantled, the hysterical part goes away and then
you can come up with the solution. But the solution
isn't going to find itself with this resentment. Like I know,
the more they say the more generous people are with us,
the more generous we are with other people. That is
so true with me, Like you, I was resentful of
(31:48):
someone for a while because I didn't feel they were
pulling their weight when it came to bringing things to
someone's house during a party or whatever. They one day
brought something to an event. I can't remember what it was,
but it was very small, and I was like, oh
my god, I love them.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
They did it. They brought something. I wasn't the only
one who brought an item to.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
This person's house. I'm like, oh shit, Now I feel
more generous towards my feelings for them. So I think
it's just it really opens us up. And I bet
if she'd uncover what's really going on, she'd be generous
with them and find out a solution to this necklace thing,
because it's.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
Not about the fucking necklace. Nobody gives a shit.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Yeah, probably not. Or you just beat the fuck out
of your oldest system.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
See it always comes down to that, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
I think. So I need more people. We need physical
justice in.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Okay, all right, fucking action Jackson over there, freaking idiot,
All right, next letter.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
All right, man, Dear Lisa. I'm a married mother of
three and gave up my career as a social worker
so my husband could work and I could stay home
and take care of the kids. Even though this was
discussed ahead of time. I still resent him for having
a fulfilling career while I'm stuck at home with the kids.
(33:10):
First of all, you're a social worker.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
And stop it.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
That is awesome? How awesome?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Well, shut up, it's not like it's awesome. It's a
soul's work. It sounds to me like the hardest job
in the world because you're seeing such sadness all the time.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I would never be able to do it. Do you
think this is something I should discuss with him or
just with my therapist as I've been doing.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
No, get your ass into a somatic therapist, meaning yeah,
you and your freaking therapist. That big Yenta could go.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
Around and around and around about then man? Should I say?
He's a man? How about a little action here.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Lady, How about taking some action and get this thing
out and to figure out why you volunteer for something
that ultimately you don't feel you can change, which, by
the way, you can change. You can't have a discussion
with him, why you're afraid, why your conflict avoid and
why you don't say something. Trust me, he knows. Like
we've I've lived with guys, Nick, you've lived with Have
(34:11):
you lived with a girl. Yet No, Okay, walking around
the house, they're gonna know some resentment be bruin because listen,
they don't.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
Want the East infection's brewing.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
They're gonna So this guy already knows, and he's probably
too much of a pussy to say anything. So first
of all, the question should I talk to my husband
is I duh? Yeah, you dumb con like you can't
hold it from him because guess who suffers then him,
the kids and you. Yeah, So how can we take
(34:44):
out the resentful attitude? Because as much as I never
had kids, I knew I didn't want I would never
want kids to sense unease around a house I grew
up in, you know, a family where my mother was
a yeller. You know, she loved yelling, or at least
cheap looked like she was having a good time. You
don't want to inflict that on the kids. It's gonna
(35:06):
come out sideways. You're gonna lose your temper with them.
So first of all, you're allowed to no longer just.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
Want to stay home.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
I think a lot of people think, well, I decided
this forty years ago, so now I can't change dreams
change you know, maybe it doesn't work out. Hey, I
thought I'd love staying home with the kids. Now I don't.
It's now that they're off to school. I kind of
resented a little. What can we do if you don't
have a husband you can talk to like that. That's
something to look at too. But you got to be
able to share this stuff.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Yeah, that I mean for me, that is especially in
romantic relationships in particular, speaking your truth can save you
from so many resentments, which is something. Even when I
have spoken the truth, I could something happens and I've
(35:56):
done this, and I could, literally I've done a million times.
Something happens in the moment I know I should speak
my truth, but I go no, and I hold on,
and it turns into resentment without doubt. Within minutes, it
turns out the resentment. A handful of times out of
the million times this has fucking happened, I've stopped myself,
(36:16):
calmed myself down, and go, hey, I really don't appreciate
X y Z. Here's what's going on with me. I
just want to let you know. And guess what. Almost
every time I've done that, it has been accepted yep,
and everything's fine and we avoid all the fucking dumb shit.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
And even though I know, oh wow, that's historically gone
very well for me and it works, I still will
opt for the other, which is something I think is
probably one of my number one focuses for this year,
and just in general my life is like just saying
here's what I'm feeling, yep, and making it go away,
(36:54):
versus me just spiraling and holding on to it and
then waiting in the fucking wings for something to happen
and then oh, what about this or what about that?
So like, yeah, you gotta well first of all, and
if you can't do it with that person, if you
do speak your truth and they're like, well, fuck you,
it's the.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Wrong person, right, And that's something you learn early on
in life of how to keep yourself safe. So she,
as a kid may have learned if I tell my truth,
I'm gonna get yelled at, or I'm gonna be punished,
(37:29):
or I'm gonna be in trouble.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Well, that's honest, and that's.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
What you work through with the therapist of like, wait,
I'm with a safe enough guy, hopefully that I can
say this and it won't be met with fury and
rage and yelling well, once that's on earth, and it's
like ooh, I can experiment and like you said, tell
the truth and then you're not carrying it around and
it does work out, and then it stops being a
(37:56):
million times I didn't say something and ten times I
did to that number of saying it and being safe,
growing and being that normal way of life. Oh, talking
to that mic, what are you afraid of here? No,
you're supposed to have it right in front of you.
If I didn't say something, no, if I didn't say so,
(38:17):
mine have resentment. I wouldn't have resent man I read no, gross,
I wouldn't resent it now. I'd resent it next week
when I had to listen and go, could you pump
up his mic?
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Because you.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
Anyway? What was saying?
Speaker 4 (38:31):
No, it probably didn't count.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
No, I was just saying, I've even the hardest thing
right now. I'm sitting here thinking about like the like
been given opportunities to speak my truth by mostly romantic partners,
and still my stubbornness in that moment, I've still been like, well, no,
I'm fine, everything's fine.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
But I don't think it's stubbornness. It is not.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
It is that you learned that was the way of
surviving as a kid. Yeah, and but remembering you're not
in survival mode anymore. You're with safe people and you're
not gonna die. If you bring something up and it
doesn't land perfectly, you will survive it. That's really that's
that's hard to learn. But the more times you do it,
(39:14):
the easier it gets.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Yeah, I would love for it to get soon.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Well fucking practice it, you fat there doesn't have a
mic in your mouth?
Speaker 3 (39:23):
One more letter right? Number three here?
Speaker 4 (39:27):
Number three is number three, like doing a.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Number one and a number two at the same time,
like shitting and peeing at the same time.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
Do you ever do that?
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Stephanie, She's like, you don't talk to me the whole time.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Now involved in this. I hate you all both right now.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Dear Lisa, what when I married my wife, I expected
to split holidays equally.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
By this repect, you gotta not expect that ship. You
gotta have the talk.
Speaker 4 (39:59):
That's a big one. That's a big one.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Oh God, Wait with our respective family. Since her family
is fancier, oh and slightly closer in distance, she hardly
ever wants to see my family. I know my family
is angry at me for disappearing. But I'd rather have
them angry at them angry at me than her.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Then oh then then them being mad at him being
mad at her.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
Do I have to choose between my wife or my family?
Or can I have both?
Speaker 4 (40:26):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (40:27):
That is so hard, because honestly, I don't know why
couples don't just split up and go to their own
families of origin, because I never wanted to be with
my partner's family. Every boyfriend I ever had, I was like, Eh.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
First of all, it was Big Fat Frank.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
His mother and father had rheumatoid arthritis and all they
did was complain in their little, tiny apartment in Yonkers.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
It was a lot.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
So I'm like, what am I? That's festive, isn't it.
Then there's like, oh, you were Actually my ex husband
Jimmy's parents were really fun.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, his father, especially Big Frank, like he could you
just give it back to him? You know? So I
did enjoy them, So that was the one relationship I
didn't mind splitting them on.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
But all the others I dated.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Were just a bunch of crazies, And I was like,
can't I just go to mind and you go to yours,
which people obviously can't, especially when they have kids. But
the fancier thing is weird.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
Yeah, like is he? I mean there's so many questions
I have. Does your family suck? Are they poor? And
your wife doesn't like them because she came from money? Oh?
How many factors? I don't know. There's so many questions
to be asked. I feel like, well, I feel like, also, fancy,
what the fuck does that have to do with anything?
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Also, when I think sometimes your family of origin is
the place for some lucky people where they could be
more themselves and let their hair down. Yeah, and then
the other person wants to be with their people where
they can let their hair down and be more themselves.
I haven't had to deal with this a lot, thank god,
(42:06):
but pardon me, is like, thank god, I just have
my family and that's it.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
I could just go there.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
Yeah, oh god, I do love. I gotta tell you,
being having no family almost.
Speaker 4 (42:17):
Yeah, it's the best.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
I don't know, man, you're a fucking free agent, dude.
You know, like a friend's houses I've gone to, and
I guess I have my small group that I don't
have no family, but it's just my dad and I
so like we get the small thing going, but then
we see our cousins and the aunts and we get
together once. But it's like twelve people. That's great. No,
but that's fine, Yeah, that's fine. But like these people
(42:39):
with like the we have to go to my aunt Marie's,
there's forty seven people that come and we have to
do all the things and all the well.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
See, the worst is I feel for my nieces and
nephews because like my niece, let me see, they go
to our families, like our family in the morning, and
then they got to go to hers or the spouses
in the afternoon. They're the ones running and being on
(43:08):
this weird time schedule, Like when do you just sit
and relax, Like to me, that's a real hard thing.
And you're running out in the cold and you're driving
in the car and probably fighting. So I'm like, thank god,
I'm not in that position. So I feel for this person.
Speaker 4 (43:26):
Maybe it's the thing of you.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
I always like that model of we did your family
last year on Thanksgiving. This year's are with my family
on Thanksgiving. Same with Christmas. Like that flopping instead of
driving around sounds better, but it sounds like his wife
doesn't want to go to his clammy poor family's house.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Yeah, there's something else going on here. It's not just
the but her family's fancy and they live closer. But like,
I mean, how far is your family? Is it twenty
minutes versus an hour?
Speaker 4 (43:55):
That's true?
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Is it twenty minute drive versus a plane ride? Okay,
a little different, but still like to have a set tradition,
like even with me, like with my you know, no family,
but I knew, like I went to my mother's side Christmas,
even Christmas Day, I was with my dad's side.
Speaker 4 (44:10):
I know.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
That was like ever since I was a kid, that
was it. And then now it's changed, but like that's
how it was. You just know what to do. So, yeah,
there's there's other shit happening here that we don't wear.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Because when you call your other side fancier, it's almost
an insult. Yeah, it's saying they're rich, bitch snobs or something.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
Yeah, it don't like like who knows. I'm I'm thinking
his family or her family probably was like why are
you marrying this? Fucking Look at the family he comes from,
I know, and he's just like a you know, he's
an enneagram nine and he's big pussy. He's like and
he's just like, yeah, I'll do it, but like, yeah,
there's there's more.
Speaker 4 (44:47):
There's always more to it.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Man.
Speaker 4 (44:48):
Why didn't everybody just stay single and then you just
do what you want?
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Yeah, bro, I.
Speaker 4 (44:54):
Don't get this marriage stuff, dude.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Although I have to be honest, I will see couples
that I'm like, ooh, they got it down. They do
this family Thanksgiving, they do the other side Christmas, they
do this on New Year's for just themselves.
Speaker 4 (45:10):
They do this.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
So I'm like, oh there. But again, every couple I
think of, because I could think of three right now, who,
in my opinion, do it without conflict or as seemingly
no conflict, I'm like, ooh, they talked about it before,
they really got it straight before. So this whole like,
(45:31):
we're not going to really talk about it. I'm just
gonna be resentful of the fancier relatives. It's not their
fault they're fancier. Some of us just got a lot
of fucking money, Okay, all right, some of the us some.
Speaker 4 (45:42):
Made a killing calling people cuns. Okay.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
They say it's not an honest way to live it.
It's a fucking best right, Stephanie, Of course I'm right.
Speaker 4 (45:49):
Don't even let it talk. It don't matter.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Let's hear from Stephanie. What do you think if you
got married to some asshole?
Speaker 4 (46:00):
Would you how would you?
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Wait?
Speaker 4 (46:02):
You got how would you spit? Split your holidays?
Speaker 5 (46:05):
I am so far removed from that thought because I
can't even get a boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (46:10):
Wait? Wait, wait wait?
Speaker 2 (46:13):
What is wrong with all these young, available, hot girls
not having boyfriends?
Speaker 4 (46:22):
How does that not happen? Because you're inarguably cute, You're smart,
you have a good job. You get to work with talent.
What is yeah? And Nick lose? All right? You get
to do charity work by working with Nick?
Speaker 2 (46:38):
What's with the no boyfriend? Why is it difficult? Tell us?
Speaker 5 (46:42):
I don't know, but some people have called me intense,
which is the eight UFA.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
You are an enneagram A. Listen to la episode and
you are intense? Yes, but no, I don't think it's
you because I'm not saying what's wrong with you? Because
you have many things right with you. But Celia too
is like, oh god, I'm getting a boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (47:02):
It's so hard? Is this a generational thing? In my day?
Speaker 2 (47:07):
You just put out and you had a boyfriend boom
done pegging? What And that wasn't a thing I don't
think anyway. So what why is it difficult for women
your age to get these boyfriends to nail it down?
Speaker 5 (47:21):
People just are not initiating. They're looking at their phones.
It's not like, oh, I'm going to ask this person
for directions because like I have maps on my phone.
So nobody talks anymore. There's no small conversations like there
used to be.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
Damn.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Yeah, there's no like bid for connection they call it,
So there's no reason And are you someone because of
your intensity if somebody did try to try to strike
up a conversation of like a sweet nature, you'd be like, oh,
that's so stupid.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
I know, because yeah, I forget it.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
No, because there's this relationship expert couple who is just
the best gotmans and they talk about things called bids
for connection, which is say there's like a cute guy
in the hall and you're kind of out there too.
Speaker 4 (48:12):
And he goes, oh my god, look like you can
see the.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
Statue Liberty from here, the Empire State Building, or it's
say you're in the suburbs and he's like, oh my god,
look at a blue Jay.
Speaker 4 (48:20):
Wow cool, and like that's a bid for connection.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
He's trying to connect and it would take literally five
seconds for the person to be like, oh my god,
wow that is true, and then the conversation goes from there.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
They feel seen, you feel valued all that.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
But you're a little toughye, So I wonder if you'd
be like, oh, yeah it is yeah, I see the
Empire State building, Homo. I know you wouldn't say the day,
but I wonder if you have a little bit of
a do you have a little edge to you, a
little wall up with that?
Speaker 5 (48:53):
Yeah? I think so, but in my head, like I'm
not going to act that way towards them.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Right, but they sense it probably yeah, because you have
that abrupt You have sort of an abruptness in a
way you speak, and it's like, oh god, that's so steady.
That's my that's my Stephanie voice in my head. Like
when I text her, I know she's thinking, Lisa is
so too bad. I know, I know, I got Stephanie down.
I know she's talking about us in her head. Yeah,
(49:17):
she's like Nicks, the good one, Lisa is so needy.
Speaker 4 (49:21):
I need everything by Thursday. You've God forbid. I worked
on the weekend Boundaries. Boundaries you know, but nobody it is.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
We have to do an episode sometime on dating, because
that is hard. I do not envy anyone, and anytime
one of my students at this college I teach you say,
oh my boyfriend this, I'm almost like, oh, man, have
you found a guy who will commit and you.
Speaker 4 (49:44):
Also like him? Like it almost seems like a miracle.
Speaker 3 (49:48):
Yeah, those guys are all usually.
Speaker 4 (49:50):
Gay, though, what at my school?
Speaker 3 (49:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (49:52):
Oh, Guarantee College.
Speaker 5 (49:54):
That's why I couldn't find anyone for those four years.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Wait wait, wait, you went to lord them there. It's
not an art I teach at an acting school, so
you I.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
Mean girls forming arts school. There's the musical theatermeators, you're
telling me at Fordham in the Bronx, Yes, you couldn't
find a guy that wanted to go downtown.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Well sort of, so she found a sex play but
not a lot of commitment.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
College guys in the Bronx.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
Oh my god, we got to do an episode on Stephanie,
the emotionally invulnerable Fordham graduate who somehow only found gay
guys at Fordham. You have a special sense of sniffing
people out for that. Yeah, well we'll be back with
her at some point.
Speaker 4 (50:35):
Nick, where can people hear the podcast?
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Guys?
Speaker 4 (50:38):
Guy, you know what you keep forgetting you're supposed to go?
Thanks for listening. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Guys, if you want to reach out to us, please
email emails email us at shrink This Show at gmail
dot com. That is Shrink the Show at gmail dot com.
Also listen to us wherever you get podcas cast, but
especially your iHeart Radio app.
Speaker 4 (51:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
iHeart radio, the place where dreams go to and where
Stephanie never goes to get lades?
Speaker 4 (51:15):
Does your mother listen to this? Stephanie?
Speaker 5 (51:17):
Sometimes?
Speaker 4 (51:20):
Is your mom Puerto Rican.
Speaker 5 (51:22):
Or Whiteto Rican? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (51:24):
I know your father. It's a poppy tudle.
Speaker 5 (51:27):
He's Irish?
Speaker 4 (51:28):
Oh god? Really?
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Okay, so you got an Irish donkey on one side,
yet it's half a Porto Rican on the other side.
Speaker 4 (51:36):
That's well, she has half Irish and Puerto Rican. That's intense.
She's tough, right, She's a tough little lady.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
Is she a tiny, tiny dancer like you? Oh?
Speaker 4 (51:48):
My dad? Taller guy? Okay? So normal ish?
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Oh my god, Stephanie, you have our utmost sympathy.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
She's an only child.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
If if you want to get into Stephanie, not to
date her or to date her, send her an email
at s T E p h l A n E
E underscore correct and by the way, don't be coming
out to do what the black people say when they
say come on her.
Speaker 4 (52:17):
Correct. You gotta come correct.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
You can't be coming with the d ms of like
hey girl, he don't do nothing like that. Just say ham,
I'm a respectful, nice guy. I'd like to go and
watch a bluebird with you, and she will roll her
eyes secretly and think you're gay.
Popular Podcasts
Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt, Bowen & The Olympics
Two Guys (Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers). Five Rings (you know, from the Olympics logo). One essential podcast for the 2026 Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics. Bowen Yang (SNL, Wicked) and Matt Rogers (Palm Royale, No Good Deed) of Las Culturistas are back for a second season of Two Guys, Five Rings, a collaboration with NBC Sports and iHeartRadio. In this 15-episode event, Bowen and Matt discuss the top storylines, obsess over Italian culture, and find out what really goes on in the Olympic Village.
iHeartOlympics: The Latest
Listen to the latest news from the 2026 Winter Olympics.
Milan Cortina Winter Olympics
The 2026 Winter Olympics in Milan Cortina are here and have everyone talking. iHeartPodcasts is buzzing with content in honor of the XXV Winter Olympics We’re bringing you episodes from a variety of iHeartPodcast shows to help you keep up with the action. Follow Milan Cortina Winter Olympics so you don’t miss any coverage of the 2026 Winter Olympics, and if you like what you hear, be sure to follow each Podcast in the feed for more great content from iHeartPodcasts.