February 24, 2026 • 51 mins
In this episode of “Shrink This!,” Lisa is joined by former comedian and current writer Andrew Ginsburg to talk about something people are terrible at: quitting. Talking about everything from jobs that drain us to relationships that barely function, the duo breaks down why walking away isn’t failure—it’s sanity. Andrew shares how he finally quit stand-up after years of forcing it and how that led him to something that fits him like a glove: writing children’s books. With Celia in the mix, they talk about how to stop pushing through and wasting your life, how to know when you’re done, and why most people stay way longer than they should. If you’ve ever thought, “I’m miserable but maybe I should stick it out,” this might be the episode that gets you to stop.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta and know it
all and her words come from her head, her heart,
and often out of her ass. This podcast should not
be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a
huge strain of salts for entertainment purposes.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Only you need help. You're the problem. Come on, come
do go, lamb take a pill. I think you're insane.
(00:37):
Do what I say, dumb ass? You listen to me?
You Hi, everybody, It's Lisa Lambinelli. Welcome back, the podcast
that keeps on given till it hurts and not till
(00:57):
it helps. Lisa leabanell each this, how's everybody doing good?
Love to hear that we're here today with a very
special episode. Sadly there's no Nick, Celia. How do you
feel about Are you so sad?
Speaker 3 (01:13):
No?
Speaker 4 (01:13):
I feel like I'm gonna be bullied a little bit less.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You will be bullied less, and you know it's wild
instead because Nick doesn't care about us right now. This
week I have my friend Andrew Ginsburg, who I've talked
about very much on the show. As I mentioned you,
you are my favorite Jew, and I will say it
is happily we are taping on International Holocaust Remembrance Day,
(01:38):
so it's a good jew coincidence.
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Yeah. No, there's no one more Jewy than me.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
That is absolutely true. I always say my Jewish friend Andrew,
but I should just say my friend Andrew Ginsburg because
Ginsburg is a very Jewish name.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Yeah, it doesn't get more Jewish.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
No, And I also wore my second favorite jew on
my shirt, Bernie Sanders. I'm not a full on socialist,
but just him scowling makes me laugh. So we are
here having Andrew. And by the way, by the way,
Nick is a quote personal trainer. Now we have someone
in the studio who's a personal trainer but actually looks
(02:13):
like one because you're not girthy and large and have
big tips. So congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
I don't have the personality.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Though, oh big?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Oh is this?
Speaker 2 (02:23):
See? Let's kiss Nick's ass? I feel guilty for warming
his chair. It's okay, don't worry. I decided to have
you on because we talk a lot on this show
about self discovery and figuring out what's right for you,
and I thought we should do an episode on quitting
(02:43):
things because I've said before on the podcast, quitting is
my superpower, and I think I always know when to go,
whether it's from a marriage, from a house, from a town,
from a job, from a career. And I don't think
people know that it's okay to quit. They think quitting
is a negative term. I happen to think it's a
(03:04):
very healthy term. And before we get into the subject,
someone who I wish would quit is also here. Celia
say hello once again. Wow, I like it's we know
she can take a joke, and her tell for not
being able to take a joke. She turns really red.
So I think you're white? No, you're white right now? Yeah? Yeah,
(03:27):
you hit you're just whitey.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
That wasn't that didn't hit me hard enough. That wasn't like.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Because it's not true. Yeah, I love you. When Stephanie
filled in, we wanted to kill ourselves. Oh my god, Stephanie, no,
don't do my girl like dad about Rachel. You turned
into a drag queen or a black person when you
just said don't do my girl like dieg.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
No, I'm not trying to impersonate either, because.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Oh boy, oh boy, you are a font of goodness. Uh, Okay,
so anyway, so quitting the reason I thought about you
Andrew Ginsburg, who, by the way, I will say, please
preorder his new children's book is on Amazon. It's coming
out on April seventh, but preorder. It's called The Colors
of My Sky. It's for K through third grade. But
(04:10):
I will say, like I read it, I'm really good reader,
and did I was very touched by it. I thought
it was adorable. It was really well done.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yeah, did you?
Speaker 5 (04:20):
So?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I thought of you? Because to me, leaving something when
you know it's wrong for you is a great thing
to do. It is not negative. It is powerful. So
tell us a little about how you end up in
the position of this children's book writer opposed to what
you used to do, which.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Is what stand up comic.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
And there was no one, and I tell you, no
one who was less likable on that stage than you.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Now you are lovable in real life. Look at you.
You're a mountain of a man. Very handsome. By the way, though,
when Nick and Bo, my friend Nick as you know
him from the podcast, and also our friend Bo told me, wow,
we know this guy Gintinsburg. He's fantastic. He's a great guy.
You're gonna love him. We start hanging out, they go,
he's a ten. When it comes to looks, I may
(05:14):
have just more harsh judgment. I give you a six. Yeah,
you may have worked your way up to a six
and a half because I have love for you as
a friend now, but what do you put yourself on
the level as far as looks go? You have terrible
self esteem?
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Terrible?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
What would you say objectively? You are?
Speaker 5 (05:30):
I started putting gel in my hair this year at
forty six years old. Wow, I think now I'm a
solid seven.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
H don't get fancy, don't get it conceited. Maybe okay,
So you think the gel bumped you up?
Speaker 5 (05:43):
I do. The hair used to be a big mess.
I had this big mop of a head and it
would stick up, and I finally put it down with
some gel. I think, think about me up half a point.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I think maybe our our listeners will weigh in on
your appearance. It's fine, I mean it's better than nick.
I mean, come on, yes, but who am I to judge? Anyway?
So we meet because my friends say Andrewgans were a
great guy, funny guy. And we started hanging out, and
so then I started going to your guys' show, give
(06:12):
you notes. I had nothing to do at the time.
There was no podcast, no coaching, no nothing. I was like,
I'm gonna go watch these guys. And I remember I
always thought your jokes were well written. But I'm like,
why don't people like him? Because you're a lovable guy
in real life. You're one of my favorite people. You're
one of my best friends. So I'm like, why don't
they like him? And I think one day I was like,
(06:35):
how do you tell someone that it's just not translating?
So do what do you remember that about that time period?
Speaker 5 (06:44):
Exactly what you just said. I was always a writer
on a writer doing stand up. I was I liked
writing the jokes. I didn't love performing, and it came
out that way. I felt uncomfortable. I didn't like being
up late at night. I just like writing the jokes.
I thought my writing would get me far. And you know,
if they want writing, they'll read a book.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. So you when I would
say things like we tried different things, Remember like for
a while, I was like, well just try what was
it wearing a collared shirt? Because you were wearing T
shirts so you look like two buff and I was like, well,
maybe the men don't like you because like you're threatening
looking to their women. I don't know, like wear a
(07:25):
button down shirt, it'll elevate it. What else? Did we try?
Sitting down because you're so freaking tall?
Speaker 5 (07:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:32):
How tall are you?
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Six three?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah? That's off putting because you have to you what
it was because you had to lean over. You almost hunched.
I was like, well, if you sit, you'll look more relaxed,
you won't look as stiff, and tried that and then
what really made you go? Fuck this? We're done?
Speaker 5 (07:51):
Uh leaving my kids at night and reading. I was
reading books to them, but we called book party every night.
I read two books seven thirty seven o'clock. That's when
the shows are. Right now, I'm gonna go tell my
jew riddles.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, his jokes, jew riddles.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
Because there were one liners. They didn't really give you anything.
I'd do sixty of them in the thirty minutes that
it was just lined up after another, and I'm like,
I'm gonna go or do my little jew riddles to strangers.
When I could read books to my kids, and you know,
the kids get a lot more out of it than
the audience is yes, and so do I. It was
it just didn't fit. It wasn't serving me anymore. So
why am I doing this? And I stopped?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Had it ever served you? What do you think it
did for you? And was there always something gnawing inside
of like I don't think this fits, but I have
to keep with it.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Yeah. The guy that helped me in Boston, Teddy Bergeron,
gave me some confidence and taught me the ropes a
little bit, and you know, I moved to me. I
felt like I should keep it up because Teddy thought
I had potentially right, so it should.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
There's a lot of it's like whenever we're told we
should do something. Yeah, was there also if you look
back now, a want from the inside? Was it I
really want to do this, I really love this.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
I wanted to There was two things I wanted when
I moved to New York to do stand up. I
wanted the picture outside Carolines because that is just.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
A tourist, that's true.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Oh no, your picture, sure, my poster outside Carolines. Because
I lived in Midtown, I would walk by as your poster,
I said, Jim Norton. I'd see Paul Mooney Dick Gregory,
and I really wanted to be that. That was what
I wanted. When I was twenty five and I auditioned
for Lewis and he liked me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
It was the legendary booker at Carolines. And I always
wonder because you were like, Lewis really likes me, and
Louis is gay, And secretly was like, Louis just wants
to fuck you. Like he's not going to try to
because he's a gentleman and you're you're married, He's never
going to do anything like that. But part of me
was like, he's dazzled by you your looks.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I mean. I also so I was doing single material
then because I was single, and that was slowly more
likable than marriage and kids material, I think because it
was more relatable to the younger people. But you know,
eventually I did get the post direct outside Carolina Way,
and that was a good moment for ego. But what
I was doing up on stage was not special by
(10:19):
any means, and I knew that it felt uncomfortable and
the other thing I wanted to do was perform stand
up on television. I did a stand up contest on
the view It's Not Late night, but it's close to me.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Oh my god, did you win? No, do you remember
who you lost to?
Speaker 5 (10:34):
I don't remember his name, but.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, he's probably a nobody anyway.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Yeah, it was funnier than me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Well, you know what, It's funny because I remember there
was a moment that I was like, oh, he's gonna
be able to hear from me that he can quit
once you said one thing at the diner, Like I
was like, I'm not going to tell him to quit,
but I bet I see an opening now. We were
sitting there talking about comedy and Bo was struggling with
(11:01):
writing some stuff and didn't know if he should write
more serious stuff about recovery because he's sober and what
to do. And he goes, I just love it. I
mean it's just like I love doing it. I love
it so much. And he goes, Andrew, come on, when's
the first time you remember really loving comedy?
Speaker 5 (11:17):
And you were like, never, never, not once. I dreaded it.
I dreaded every single show. I wasn't looking forward to it.
I did it because I felt obligated to in some
weird way, and you know, it would feel good sometimes
after if the set went well, and horrific if it didn't.
But I before I dreaded it. Not one show was like, oh,
this is gonna be awesome.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Like so when you look back on it and you've
had a lot of therapy and I think that's great.
What do you really think was driving staying in something
that doesn't fit.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Not wanting to quit, not wanting to look myself in
the eye and say, ah, I failed failed, not not
being really not looking at real reality and saying, you know,
the shoes don't fit. And I just thought I could
keep going. I thought it was like anything, keep working
at it, you'll get there.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Is, by the way, no shade that you would think that,
because that's what we have drummed into our head. It's
just not true. Yeah, Like I could try for the
rest of my life to be the greatest painter in
the world. It's not going to happen. Like, I don't
have natural ability for it. So you picked something initially
that wasn't the right fit, and then eventually it was like, oh,
(12:31):
I have all this evidence mounting that this isn't correct
for me.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
Yeah, twenty five years of evidence.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yeah. Yeah, So there was never so you'd come off
stage sometimes if it was half decent, and you'd be like, okay,
escaped by the skin of my teeth. That was fine.
But there was never a oh man, I can't wait.
I would like, you know, just I would die before
I would stop this. This is fun. No, there was
(12:59):
no to go.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Home, can't wait to go home, can't wait to be
in bed right right?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I think that's or I would say with the writing now,
which sounds like a way more natural fit, because I
think it's so obvious doors open when you start getting published,
and like it's like, oh, look at that, like something
worked for me that I didn't have to kill myself
for and feel like I didn't fit the job, like
when you arguably be like I could either be doing
(13:27):
stand up that I'm really not good at, but I'm
forcing oh, I'd rather be homewriting, like which there's more
of a lightness. It sounds around that other.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Yeah, I just wanted to be homewriting. It's comfortable for me.
Time goes by quickly with that. I look forward to it,
I sit down to write it, I'm really excited. I
never felt that way with stand up. I liked writing
the jokes. I'm like, oh, this is funny, this is clever.
But that was it.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
And also you liked hanging out, which I think a
lot of the if it was with friends, like it
was friends shows, yeah, so it wasn't like you're like,
can't wait to go do that open mic or that
show here or there. But oh, if it was like
a bunch of pals, like it just has a lightness,
it's like, well then just hang out with them, yeah,
like schedule the time to hang out. But I think
(14:14):
yet the idea that quitting is a failure is just
not true. It's leaving something that isn't right for you anymore.
And I think if it's a friendship, a marriage, a job,
or whatever, like you would fully say to someone else, yeah,
you should just leave, But when it's ourselves, it's hard
to kind of move forward on it.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
So I remember the last straw for you was you
did a show. It was in Fairfield. Was this one
that you supposedly headlined? Okay, so Fairfield busted balls all
the time with people say headline. I always go, there's closers,
and there's headliners. Closers finish the show, they close the show,
and they have no name, like no one cares headliner is, Oh,
(14:59):
it's a headliner. You go to see them. So you're
closing the show in Fairfield, Connecticut. I think did Bow
and Nick do the show? And Nick killed because he
just has that natural thing. He sure does, doesn't I mean,
I want him to have jokes, but he doesn't need them.
He's so good with the crowd. He's off the cuff. Again.
(15:21):
I pushed for him to do jokes because that's kind
of how you get a special or on TV. You
can't just do crowd work forever. Even I had to
do that. So Nick, I think destroyed that night. He
did great, and you Bo did fine. I'm sure Bo
did well. Yeah, and so you went up and how
did that feel?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
You had on the shirt? You had on the button shirt.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
Yeah, I had no excuse that the buttons, the buttons
were all in, the buttons were correct. And I went
up there and just wasn't getting last. It was the
energy was way down from Bow and Nick, and the
order should have clearly been reversed.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Right.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
It wasn't right. And I ate it up there, I really,
and I just felt like, Okay, this is the end.
This is this this marriage and kid stuff that I'm
talking about with my jew riddles. It's just not appealing
to anybody. Yeah, I don't enjoy this. This is just
this doesn't feel good.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, because I remember we got in the car. We're like, oh,
let's go to the diner. I'm like, you could ride
with me because I was like, oh, I see my opening.
And this is back when I was a big advice
giver without being asked, but I didn't care because I
was like, I have to save him from this life
of horror. And I think I was like, dude, it
just they're you're wearing a nine and a half shoe
(16:45):
and you're ten. It just doesn't fit. And I think
it was really calm and it was like quiet like that.
It wasn't what the bug and you're like yep, And
it was felt like that's how it landed for you?
Speaker 5 (16:59):
Do is that how you because exactly how it landed.
It was really a funeral. It was it was a funeral.
It was right after the show. It was okay, it's
time to bury this stream or nightmare or whatever you
want to call it at that point and you know,
let's start grieving.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah, and did it what did it feel like internally?
Feel like in your body. What did it feel like?
What emotion came up for you?
Speaker 5 (17:27):
Sadness? Spent a lot of years trying to do something,
you know, with shoes that didn't fit and a foot
that was growing bigger.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 5 (17:38):
Yeah, it was necessary. Like anything that that you quit,
it's going to be painful, but it was necessary. I
knew it. I knew it was the right time. I
knew this chapter was over.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
So I give myself so much credit for waiting to
the right time. Should I have said nothing maybe with
somebody else, but you and I are close enough, and
it was quiet, and like I just saw that opening.
So yeah, I'm not saying to everybody, go tell your
friends to get divorced and quit their job. Wait till
the moment and maybe you don't say anything. But with you,
(18:09):
I was just like, I think he's ready. You almost
have to know somebody's ready. It's like if somebody's in
the hospice, you should probably pull the plug if they
ask you to, like they know they're ready. Okay, smother them.
You know, this show is pro euthanasia and killing people.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
At bottom, that was my bottom, and it's time to
go to the clinic.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, yeah, So what did it feel like in the
days after, You're like, yeah, this is actually done. Because
how many years had it been? Like twenty years? I
oh my god, it's a lot. That's a lot of
time to invest.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
Yeah, but I would to be fair, I wasn't fully invested.
I was not chasing down sets running around the city.
I was doing it leisurely, kind of half assed, and
it came off that way, but it felt it was
a big relief to be done. And then days following like, great,
never have to do that again.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
So it felt like relief again, much like someone who's
been sick for with cancer for ten years and they
finally pass. Yes, you're sad, but there is that sense
of relief of like they're in a better place now,
Like I really thought after you quit, I was like, oh,
he's in a better place.
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Then I'd say, yeah, and thank you for getting me there.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Hey, that's what I'm about, making people kill themselves. So
what did you Is it then that you started because
I remember we had talked about, Oh, I think you
have something to say though, so we started working on
a solo show about your upbringing. Was that right after.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Right after that? Yeah, I literally jump into something else.
You definitely have something to say, but not in this format.
And he geared me towards solo shows. And I remember
I watched your show and I said, I'm my god,
this is amazing. I know what my thing is. I
emailed you. I said, my dad, my whole life, I've
(20:02):
been trying to get my dad's approval. That's what my
show would be if I was to do a show.
He said, I'll help you with that. I'm like, oh
my god. Yeah, And that's what began that show Self
Worth List.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
That was fun to work. I mean, it was heavy,
but it was fun to do. It's a good project.
Do you think then, what helped soothe the ending of
one thing was the gently beginning another thing.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
Yeah. Yeah, I was ready to continue being creative, but
it needed to be It needed the space needed to
be available for something else.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
That's right. It's like you have to something's always going
to suffer if it doesn't have any room to grow.
So yeah, got rid of one thing. Okay, but this
seemed to me like the right fit because it was serious.
It required good writing and discipline, which you could do.
So it wasn't like I didn't feel was medicating, just
(20:59):
with an activity because of you to come up with. Look, man,
now that I'm done with comedy, I'm just gonna like,
i decided I'm going to be an actor. I'm quitting
my job. I'm going to the city every day on auditions.
I would have been like, girl, you're just medicating, Like
what the fuck?
Speaker 5 (21:12):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
So this felt right? And did you feel that show
was more fulfilling and more of a natural fit for you?
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Absolutely most fulfilling thing I've ever done. It was meaningful.
People liked it and it felt good. It was healing.
It was a really deep show, and yeah, it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Did it help a lot with the dad stuff.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
It did. It did mean so much of that was
trying to win my dad's approval and a rough upbringing
and putting it out there in those terms in front
of an audience, and you know, reflecting now on how
I'm a father and I'm trying to do my best.
It was incredibly healing.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
It still is it is. It was good And how
did that feel? Performance? Why when you were up there
physically versus stand up? Like, what was the difference?
Speaker 5 (22:04):
Much better because I didn't have to get a laugh
every ten seconds. I was there to tell my story
and give them something much deeper than jew riddles. There
were no jew riddles right there, weren't.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
We wouldn't allow them. Yeah, I was like, no, trying
to be funny, stop it. But yet there were laughs.
There were a lot of laughs.
Speaker 5 (22:23):
Yeah, with stories though, and yeah, obviously I saw that
that's a lot more powerful.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
So I think it's like, this is probably what confuses
me why someone would start stand up of all things.
If I'm not saying you're not a funny person, but
that's not the quality that hits people over the head.
About you, You're you're a great guy, You're mildly amusing,
(22:50):
you can talk very well. What made that the thing
to grab onto?
Speaker 5 (22:59):
I watched Harlan and I just thought it was so cool.
I thought I thought it was really cool. It was
the coolness of it.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Yeah, well, I think it's cool that that asshole on
Netflix climb that building. Actually I don't think that's cool,
but I would never do it, So meaning, like, does
any part of you think, Okay, I know he can't
be conscious. Hey I'm not. I don't have an aptitude
for this, but I'm gonna show people I can do
the impossible. I could be the one unfunny jew on
(23:27):
the planet and make it work, Love me daddy. So
was that part of it?
Speaker 5 (23:32):
One hundred and that one open mic I went to
that I bombed, and for some reason that comic told
me I had something. Had he not said anything, that
would have been it. Yeah, I would have gone home.
I would have I would have said, well.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
That's that's I tried. Yeah, I tried.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
I give myself credit. I was out there for two
horrible minutes. My left leg would and stuff shaken, and
now it's over. And that's that. That's not for me.
But this guy's like, Dad, you have something. That's telling
me I have something. He was like a father figure.
He was a much older, very successful comic whose career
didn't go as plan, but as far as talent wise,
(24:11):
he was somebody who I thought, do tell Yeah, he
told me that, and I listened. I was like, I
gotta do this. Teddy says I have something. Teddy has
says I have something. I kept going twenty five years.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
It's like we didn't. We didn't lump in that. Teddy's
a raging, fucking alcoholic, raging out and we have to
be careful who we listen to. Yes, you know yes,
and it's just like, oh, does that person have what
we want? Well, I don't want an alcoholic life and
doing you know, clubs, and no this is not like
(24:44):
I'll check my facts, you know.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
So it was a lot of approval base. It was all.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
It was completely approval. It was Teddy's approval. And I
watched him go up that night and I said, oh
my god, he's so good. He was so good. Yeah,
and this guy thinks I have something. I got it.
I got to prove him right. So I kept go
and did you.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Just need rides? Because I've done that to people. Oh see,
oh he wanted company.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
Yeah, maybe you want a company? Would let me open
for him? And you know, you give me jokes, say this, they'll.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Love this jokes you which is great. Yeah, but I
think I've glombed onto or I've I've recruited openers who
I was like, they've got a little something, but also
like they'll be fun in the car. Yeah, you know.
So maybe some of it's the friendship part and the connection,
which is no problem. But when you would deep down
(25:33):
as the years would go by and you put the
head on the pillow at night, did party you think
this just isn't right for me, and then in the
morning you just do it again, or did you just
suppress that I.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
Felt that way. But I was personal training and I
was dating and I was having fun, So it really
wasn't It was just like a little hobby. I treated
it like that. I wasn't. I wasn't doing what was
necessary to to get somewhere. So it was just like, oh,
it's a cool thing. I'm cool, I'm meeting I get
girls out of this. Well. Yeah, So it really wasn't
such such a point of turmoil. It was. It was
(26:10):
just like I knew I wasn't good because I would
see other people. I'm like, oh they're good. Wow, how's
he do that? I kind of knew my place, but
I kept doing it because it's like, oh, this is
kind of again, this is cool.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
And then how did the whole children's book stuff start?
Because I know you you mentioned it once that you'd
written one book, and I think it was because this
years ago, because oh, I have a kid, I want
to write a children's book. How did this end up
like being the thing that you know you're drawn to
and it took off.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
I love reading to my kids more than anything in
the world. I had this client that I trained in
the city. You said, Andrew, if I can give you
one piece of advice. She was a grandmother, phenomenal mother.
She said, read a lot to your kids. So I
took that to heart and I did, and I started
loving it. I love the intimacy of it's just so
sweet and you know, you're you're cuddling with a kid
(27:01):
and they're laughing, and it's it doesn't get more tender
or meaningful. And I was reading one book one night
to my kid and I'm like, God, I could write
something this bad.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah, it's so little more bad, some great some of
the more bad leo.
Speaker 5 (27:16):
My middle would put it in a say this is garbage,
and we throw the book quickly, like garbage, garbage. So
I'm like, I want to write something. I think I
could do something. The comedy taught me how to be succinct.
There's six hundred words in these books, so you have
to use them wisely. And I thought I could do that,
and I started trying, and it's it seemed to work.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
It sounds then like that trying that came from a
very honest place and motivated by the right goal, like
I'm going to entertain children. I'm going to start I'm
going to do my kid, and then it ended up going, oh,
this can entertain other kids because this publisher wants to
put it out. So I think that's like it's great. Well, yeah,
(28:02):
we shouldn't need external validation for anything, but that sounds
like it comes from the right kind of externals. It's
not some drunk who wants you in a car because
he can't drive himself or whatever. It comes from someone
who's like, oh, my kid likes it, like it just
as a sweetness to it. So did that just seem
to be the activity of even doing it feels better?
Speaker 5 (28:26):
It felt great. I love children's books and I love
reading to kids, and writing a book would allow me
to do that both of those things. Go to schools
and read to kids, which I'll be doing this year.
I'm excited about.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
That's so cool and.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
It's a very sweet way to spend my time. And
I have no expectations of fame or fortune, but I
do know that I'll be able to read to kids
and hopefully make them laugh at these little things and
just just give them something. Yeah, you know, a lot
more meaningful than jew riddles.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I do seem to have meaning to it. Yeah, which
I think that's why even if nothing happens, even if
this doesn't sell, you don't get the next one, it
doesn't matter because there's a meaningful two years you've spent
doing it.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Yeah, and it's right. My kids are young now, well
I want to do this in ten years I don't know,
but right now it's right. It feels right. I have
no done in my mind that this is my path
right now.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
So there's no internal I know we work a lot
with the same therapist on like where do you feel
it in your body kind of thing. There's no internal
struggle about it. There's no no no, no twins, no,
just just excitement and warmth.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
It's yeah, this is something I know is right. It's
not even a question in my mind. This is this
is where I belong.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
So what would you say to someone who's sort of
going through the same thing of like, ugh, I'm trying
this thing forever quitting equals failure. What would I do anyway?
What would you say to them.
Speaker 5 (30:04):
Take an honest look at your talent and also how
to fix your life and if it's causing you you know,
dread and pain and suffering. Get out of there, don't
stay in something. You know a lot of actors stay
thee stay the course. I'm going to get my break,
(30:25):
and the thirty and forty and they're fifty and they're six.
I'm going to get my break. And I think burying
the ghost is a healthy thing.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah, and just grieving what could have been. Yeah, you know,
it's that death of a dream thing we talk about.
It's like, oh, I dreamed i'd be you know, selling
out Radio City or Madison Square and whatever. Oh, that's
kind of sad that that didn't happen. I think grieving
is like an important part of it. And I think
you writing the solo show is what helped you in
(30:52):
that grief, absolutely, because you did what was right for
you and the feelings of talking about it helped the show. Yeah. Wow, Andre,
you only tell us the name of the book again.
Speaker 5 (31:05):
The Colors of My Sky.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
And this is a very racist book, you said.
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Now, it's a protest. It's a protest against racism and nationalism,
but it's told with butterflies, and the stories it used
uses metaphor to gay.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I'm just being no, Actually, it's not gay. It is
gay enough. I love it. It's super fucking cute, and
it's just it's funny because when you were we're brainstoring
the book at first, you had a black butterfly named Bleak.
I go, motherfucker, you can't fucking have a black butterfly
name Malik. Let's like, not do that, okay, so what
(31:40):
end up having? We just not have a.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Black No, we do not have a black butterfly.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Good. So they're all like weird colors that nobody is anyway.
So yeah, there's a white butterfly. Dude. It's really cute.
It's really it's really good. It's a I don't know,
like I I find I do tear up a lot
of children's books just because it's so sweet. This one
I definitely do so April seventh, but pre order now
(32:06):
on Amazon. It's cheap as fuck, how old? How much
of children's books?
Speaker 5 (32:09):
Hy ten bucks at Jesus.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Christ by four for all your dumb kids who get
your stupid Celia just ordered five. You didn't even have kids,
you didn't even get sperm in or do you? Okay, Andrew,
we have some letters from people who to quitter or
not to quit that is the question. Oh, by the way,
if you have a question for us, send it to
shrink this show at gmail dot com. And by the way,
(32:34):
since Nick isn't here and we always have to promote
his dumb social media because all he does is say
yo yo, Nick Scopes. You can find me at uber eats.
Where can they find you Andrew Ginsburg?
Speaker 5 (32:46):
Oh, you can find this big jew at Andrew Ginsburg
with the you like the judge, not the poet with
the ease. There's actually another comic call.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
So don't follow that hat. Well he's yeah, so so
Andrew g I N S b U r G on Instagram. Listen.
I love how you assume our audience is smart enough
to know Ginsburg was a poet and or a judge.
They don't neither. Our audience is stupid. Celia, where can
every rEFInd you? Girl?
Speaker 3 (33:19):
My instagram is Celia Underscore, Underscore, rob.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
And Ki Great.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I will and you find Stephanie Lee are former producer
at Lane Stephanie Lee.
Speaker 5 (33:36):
No.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Nick kept messing up, saying, oh.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Okay, s t E P H something la score.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
I think, Oh, who cares.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
She's not here anyway? I don cares she's all dressed
up today because Paris Hilton is taping in a different
room and I'm like, oh, you're dressed up for Paris Hilton.
Then she tried to be all like shifty and nice
and go, no, it's for you too, lying. She looks
like shit every other fucking time she comes in. No,
you don't have any just kidding, Okay. Andrew reads a letter,
Dear Lisa what.
Speaker 5 (34:08):
I'm a thirty one year old stand up comic who
moved to Hampshire to New York City about a year ago.
Since then, I've auditioned at a few clubs but have
not been passed anywhere, and I'm doing mostly bar shows.
I have two roommates who are stand ups and we
have fun, but sometimes after a rough show, I think
about quitting and moving back home. How do I know
if I have what it takes to make it to
(34:28):
the top, or if it's an unrealistic dream.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I don't know. That's hard because he's not asking, he's
not really indicating he hates it or that he's not funny.
So I think all these people have to start doing
the problem is no one slows down enough to feel
into what they actually feel and want to do, so
(34:56):
if he was to after a show, eyes meditate, see
what comes up, see what thoughts he's having, see what
feelings are coming up? Even the next day, he'd be
able to figure out, is this something I like enough
to keep doing even if I'm not successful? So I
think the problem is we keep chasing without thinking and
(35:17):
without feeling. Do you agree with that?
Speaker 5 (35:19):
Yeah? Absolutely, You just keep going because you got you're
chasing that carrot. Yeah, you don't stop to think, well,
how's this affecting me? How do I feel? How's my
talent level? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Like what does he say? What's the last what's like
the actual question at the end of what.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
It takes to make it to the top or if
it's an unrealistic dream?
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Okay, the make it to the top pisses me off anyway,
because there's like ten people who make it to the top.
And by the way, what is the top? You know
what I mean? The top could be selling out Madison
Square Garden, But is it because Dice Clay sold it
out eight times and then somebody else is going to
sell it out twenty times and Kevin Hart's going to
do it then, So what's the top? I think the
(35:58):
question he should be asking is how do I know
if I love it enough to stick with it? I
always when I was I had such a uggo I
thought I was so great. I didn't care, but I
always would ask myself, Oh, like, would I do this
for free? Yes? Would I do it if I never
(36:18):
made it? Yes? Would this is such a blast? Yes?
Like I think Nix in that similar category. He wouldn't
do it for free because he's poor. But I was like, oh,
I had, you know this drive? But also it's a
fun hobby even if I don't get paid. Iven if
I'm just like the guy who makes twenty dollars at
whatever club? Cool. So I think it's a he's answering
(36:42):
asking the wrong question. So next, by the way, probably quick,
you probably don't have what it takes. Okay, go here, Lisa.
Speaker 5 (36:58):
I've been married for four years, but the past two
years it's been a daily struggle. My husband works long
hours and comes home every night angry. When I talk
to him, he's snappy and tells me how easy my
life is. He hates his job and I've told him
to find something else, but he refuses to. We've tried
couples counseling and even a small break from each other,
(37:18):
but he continues to treat me like crap. I still
care about him, but I can't continue to be treated
this way. How do I know when it's time to
give up on this marriage?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Oh God, I am the wrong person. I asked because
I hated marriage. I fucking hated it. I remember looking
at Jimmy and it wasn't his fault and just being like,
why is he here? Let me fucking die. I got
in his own apartment at one point because I was like, no,
it'll be cute. It's like a man cave. You can
just hang out there. It's like, I hate you. I
(37:49):
just hated living with someone, So I'm bad to ask
about this stuff. You're a married guy. You've been married twice.
We've all been married twice. Celia has been married four times.
What what do you think? Is this even about her
quitting or is it just like, Hi, I don't want
my spouse to abuse me anymore.
Speaker 5 (38:07):
Yeah, it sounds like she just doesn't want to feel
like shit every day.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
I mean, if she has to continue being shit every day,
it's not gonna last.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
But yeah, and it's also like, honestly, so impossible to
tell someone to quote get out of there, because first
of all, there's finances that we don't know about. There's
suppose there's kids that adds a thing in I mean,
it sounds silly, but there's animals, there's houses. Like it'd
be easy enough for me to walk out on any
(38:39):
marriage because I'm set up. I wasn't always, but I'm like, okay,
But like, could I have looked at my parents, for instance,
just as an example, and been like, Daddy, you should
go because mommy was mad last night. Well guess what.
There's a lot of factors involved that I don't know about.
So I think he sounds brutally unhappy as a human
(39:01):
and hates his job. I think the bigger question is
why isn't he looking for some job he doesn't hate.
And again that's a privileged point of view, because maybe
they don't live around. Where do they live? Where do
these yahoos live? Sometimes they live in a shitty place
that there's no fucking jobs Toronto. Oh there's jobs in Toronto.
You fucking lose or douche, stop yelling at your wife.
(39:25):
The thing he needs to quit is that job, get
a new one, and stop blaming her for his shitty
life or do you think sometimes he just secretly doesn't
like her. Maybe he doesn't like her and he's like,
just because I don't like that, he says to her,
her life is quote easy.
Speaker 5 (39:42):
Like why, yeah, that's just dick.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Do they have kids? Did they mention that.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
It doesn't look like they have kids?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
And she should work. I'm not big into the housewife saying,
to be honest, like, if you have kids, I get it,
stay home with them, God bless, but the who's the homemaker?
Like we're in the fifties anymore? So I think you
and I just think both of them murder suicide packs.
I think that sounds perfect and I will not quit that. Okay,
(40:12):
next letter.
Speaker 5 (40:15):
Dear Lisa. I've been in a relationship for seven years.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Oh more relationships. See this stuff. I'm no expert.
Speaker 5 (40:21):
He's kind, he's loyal. Nothing is wrong. I just feel numb.
We don't fight, we don't grow, we just exist.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Ugh.
Speaker 5 (40:29):
How do you leave something that isn't bad just no
longer right without feeling like a selfish monster?
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Oh God? I remember once I was at the therapist
and I said, this guy asked me out, and I
forget what it was and you know, he's fine, and
at the time you could say this, she goes, Listen,
there's lots of fine people out there. Homeless people are fine.
(40:57):
You wouldn't want to date one, which that's an unwoke therapist,
but she fucking was right. But yeah, just because someone's fine,
it's almost worse that he's fine. I'd rather date the
jerk off who's yelling that I'm a lazy count at home,
because at least there's some fire, at least you have
some good makeup, sex or whatnot, Right, Celia, just say yes,
(41:18):
just yell yes into that microbe bitch. But like that
the hole. He's fine, but a numb I think that's
a sign to leave. And I'll tell you why, because
indifference is worse than hate. There's no passion.
Speaker 5 (41:38):
What do you think, I think exactly that there's just
nothing there. It's just blah. That's a really terrible way
to go through life, because it'll just continue, yeah, less
and less until there's you know.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Like the embers aren't even warm anymore, the fire has
gone out. I think we acknowledge like as you're with
someone longer longer, it's not no longer like a raging
hormone bonfire, but there should be a little flame once
in a while. But this, like you can almost sense
it's I see the wood crumbling, ashy and going the
(42:14):
fire is indeed out. Yeah that sounds like a terrible relationship,
but it's so much harder to break up with somebody
who isn't an asshole like I've had that where I've said,
I've had boyfriends who I'm just like. I wish and
I don't didn't mean this, but I wish he'd just
cheat on me. I wish you just hit me, because
then you'd have every reason to leave. But they don't
(42:35):
give you a solid reason. Did you ever have any
cheat on you? You must have, right, not that I know
of they did?
Speaker 5 (42:41):
You know, I'm not that smart. I don't see signals,
you know.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Yeah, yeah, I and not that I know. Were you
a cheat at all?
Speaker 5 (42:48):
No? Never, No, No, I would just get out of it,
you know.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah, that's smart because I'm.
Speaker 5 (42:54):
A guilt ridden that's true. I can't live with myself
if I do something like that.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Remember, Oh, we one night at the dinner we were
talking about cheating and I just go listen. Man. One
thing I'm really proud of is I never cheated, and
I go, well, except in eighth grade, I made out
with the guy who's number one on the tennis team,
but I was dating the number two, so but that
was justified. And then I go, well, and that guy
in high school, And like I started, I think, other
(43:21):
than Jimmy big Balls, I think I have cheated on
just making out every single guy I ever did. And
I'm like, I tell myself the story. I'm not a cheat,
but I'm a big fucking cheat. So I say, hey, lady,
cheat on your husband or break up with them. That's
the only two answers, am I writer? Am I right?
Speaker 5 (43:39):
You're right?
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Correct? Okay?
Speaker 5 (43:41):
Last letter, Dear Lisa, my best friend keeps repeating the
same toxic cycles. She's always talking or dating her ex,
who is terrible. She complains about twenty she complains about
him twenty four to seven, and I've listened, supported and
coached for years and nothing changes. I've told her not
to run to me when he hurts her again, but
she doesn't listen. How do I stop letting her stuckness
(44:03):
drain me? Rachel twenty seven, Denver, Oh.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Drained in Denver is what we'll call it. Rachel. Well,
I'm gonna answer different than she wants me to. Guess
who needs to quit. You're thinking, Oh, Lisa's gonna say
she should quit the boyfriend. No, Rachel, you gotta quit
being an unpaid coach to this crazy cunt. It reminds
(44:32):
me of that episode of Sex in the City. Now
I know you Andrew probably did not watch Sex in
the City. I did, Oh you did, so you was
it to learn about women and how they.
Speaker 5 (44:42):
With them?
Speaker 2 (44:43):
They always do well. There was one episode where Carrie
goes to have lunch with mister Big and they have
already broken up and he's hurt her deeply, and Miranda,
arguably the most annoying character on the show, says, well,
if he's gonna fucking hurt you again, don't come to
me and tell me, and they have a huge fight. Well,
(45:04):
Miranda was right. Quit being their unpaid coach and therapist.
Tell them figure your stuff out. You're not gonna drain me.
Feel free to talk about this when I have the energy.
But the person who needs to do the work is
not the chick dating the weird guy. It's this unpaid
life coach Rachel. Because she's getting pissed off and drained,
(45:27):
and she doesn't have to do that, but there's something
in her that loves being drained by it. She loves
at her friends the problematic one. She's the little Miranda
fix it gal, and she gets to be the smarter
one who probably gossips about her a lot. I'm guaranteeing
you she talks about it to the other friends. So
I say, Rachel, stopping a big yenta and just stop
letting your friend drain you. It's your own fault. If
(45:49):
you're being drained, it's your own problem. Am I right? Andrew?
Speaker 5 (45:52):
You're right?
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Of course I'm right. When have I been wrong? See?
I imagine you've had friends complete and have been draining.
I imagine you are a big drainer. Oh you're the drainer. Okay, yeah,
So what would you advise?
Speaker 3 (46:07):
I was talking about this in my roommates other night,
about like friends who will complain about the same guy
for years and years and years and never cut it off.
They're aware that it's wrong. And I am a person
who does that right, like on on the non receiving end,
I do that.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Yeah, Because you're like obsessed with Harry styles and Finn
Homo from whatever the fuck? No, stranger, Yeah, we actually
date you won't. What's his name? Finn?
Speaker 5 (46:33):
What?
Speaker 3 (46:34):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
I love? No, I don't know that show.
Speaker 4 (46:37):
No.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
No, I'm saying wow to you, saying you won't do
you know.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Because there's stars.
Speaker 4 (46:47):
I'm just I'm a star.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
No, we needed to be write down and we're going
to do a show. I'm being realistic and within your budget. No,
it's just like that's not me, but it's a fantasy.
Speaker 4 (47:00):
See maybe I'm just crazy.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
I like could see it happening, Like I could see
us getting along, like like you'd be like, oh, like
you're really pretty and I'd be like, yeah, like.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
I do like that confidence. Do you really feel that way?
Speaker 5 (47:14):
No?
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Oh well I think my personality is beautiful, so I
feel like that could probably really really real them in Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
No, no, I think you're a pretty girl. I'm not
saying do you think you're pretty? Do you honestly in
real life think to yourself? Yeah, it's possible. Yeah, Oh
my god. I love that.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Not about Harry Styles, because like that's obvious why I
already met him and he didn't fall in love with me?
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Oh okay that Yeah.
Speaker 4 (47:38):
I also was like one hundred pounds heavier.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
So I'm like, I because he's famous.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Probably yes, so like, give me another chance and it
would happen, Like I am convinced.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Wow, Oh, to have the confidence of a twenty three
year old in New York City. Wait, isn't that nice?
I think that's what weight loss does for people, and
why even though we all know ethically and morally that
fat is as good as thin, people when they lose weight,
they get this reinvigorated sense of life. Did you is
(48:10):
this because of the weight loss?
Speaker 4 (48:13):
No?
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Oh, just such a fucking liar.
Speaker 4 (48:15):
I don't know. Actually that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
You do agree because you said before he probably judged.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
You because I hate my picture with him because I
look so foul and just pudgy and big, And I'm like,
all I want to do is post that picture everywhere,
and I don't want that picture of me anyway.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Can you just photoshop skinny?
Speaker 3 (48:34):
I can try, but like, the background was so complicated
that I think you would see all of this stuff
like stretched in the back. Oh, but sorry to answer
your question, I think that what was the question?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
While you're draining people talking about myself? Like would you
be how would it be if your friends go, look,
we love you. We're just not gonna talk about this anymore.
Speaker 4 (48:59):
Remember when that happened to me.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
That's why I'm asking refreshed people who haven't heard she
had a full on meltdown. But how would the new
Celia act now that you're all fixed? You wouldn't go
off on them?
Speaker 3 (49:10):
No, And I don't think I did go off on them.
I think I went off of myself. But if anything,
I'd just be like, Okay, well, then that person isn't
the right person to talk to.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
Right, You find a new one.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Right, and just keep draining when you go down the line,
not no one.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Just go through your your circle of people and be like,
all right, who would understand this and who would like
give me good advice about this instead of this other
person who clearly doesn't care about what you're talking about
or honestly is exhausted from it.
Speaker 4 (49:35):
Right, Just find someone else.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
So you just exhaust one and then you move on
to the next, exhaust them, and pretty soon it's down
to just complain it on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
Or you hit your welcome pot and you have a
friend who it doesn't get exhausted by you and will
listen and give you advice on anything, which I'm very grateful.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
To have it. Look at the happy ending that we
have facilitated for Celia. I take full credit for that,
because she's talking about me. I'm the person she drains.
Speaker 4 (50:03):
Just kidding, probably one of like thirty two per day.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
You're not that bad. Have you really though, done the
endless complaining about a certain man?
Speaker 4 (50:15):
It's been like, I'm twenty three. Yeah, it's been like
fourteen years of.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
The same freaking guy. Okay, I'm gonna kill myself. We're
gonna do it. Okay, we'll be back at some point. No,
we got to hear about this at some point. I
still obsessed. Have you ever dated him as well?
Speaker 4 (50:35):
I'm I don't want to answer that.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Okay, we're going to dig into that future episode Fixing
Celia Part seventy two. Anyway, Andrew ginswork, thank you so
much for being here today. Did you have fun.
Speaker 5 (50:47):
It's so much fun. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
Of course, and thank me for telling you to quit comedy.
Speaker 5 (50:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
You're welcome, because I just want people to know that
I did the right thing by not keeping my mouth shut.
And the book, once again children's book is called the
colors of my sky. It is not racist because there's
no black butterfly named Malik anymore. You can pre order
on Amazon. K three or three will love it and
just get it because it'll touch your little little soul. Oh,
(51:13):
I have to do that nick thing that he always does.
Thanks for listening. If you have letters, send them to
Shrink This Show at gmail dot com and listen on
the iheartapp or wherever you find your podcast.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
My
Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta and know it
all and her words come from her head, her heart,
and often out of her ass. This podcast should not
be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a
huge strain of salts for entertainment purposes.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Only you need help. You're the problem. Come on, come
do go, lamb take a pill. I think you're insane.
(00:37):
Do what I say, dumb ass? You listen to me?
You Hi, everybody, It's Lisa Lambinelli. Welcome back, the podcast
that keeps on given till it hurts and not till
(00:57):
it helps. Lisa leabanell each this, how's everybody doing good?
Love to hear that we're here today with a very
special episode. Sadly there's no Nick, Celia. How do you
feel about Are you so sad?
Speaker 3 (01:13):
No?
Speaker 4 (01:13):
I feel like I'm gonna be bullied a little bit less.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You will be bullied less, and you know it's wild
instead because Nick doesn't care about us right now. This
week I have my friend Andrew Ginsburg, who I've talked
about very much on the show. As I mentioned you,
you are my favorite Jew, and I will say it
is happily we are taping on International Holocaust Remembrance Day,
(01:38):
so it's a good jew coincidence.
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Yeah. No, there's no one more Jewy than me.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
That is absolutely true. I always say my Jewish friend Andrew,
but I should just say my friend Andrew Ginsburg because
Ginsburg is a very Jewish name.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Yeah, it doesn't get more Jewish.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
No, And I also wore my second favorite jew on
my shirt, Bernie Sanders. I'm not a full on socialist,
but just him scowling makes me laugh. So we are
here having Andrew. And by the way, by the way,
Nick is a quote personal trainer. Now we have someone
in the studio who's a personal trainer but actually looks
(02:13):
like one because you're not girthy and large and have
big tips. So congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
I don't have the personality.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Though, oh big?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Oh is this?
Speaker 2 (02:23):
See? Let's kiss Nick's ass? I feel guilty for warming
his chair. It's okay, don't worry. I decided to have
you on because we talk a lot on this show
about self discovery and figuring out what's right for you,
and I thought we should do an episode on quitting
(02:43):
things because I've said before on the podcast, quitting is
my superpower, and I think I always know when to go,
whether it's from a marriage, from a house, from a town,
from a job, from a career. And I don't think
people know that it's okay to quit. They think quitting
is a negative term. I happen to think it's a
(03:04):
very healthy term. And before we get into the subject,
someone who I wish would quit is also here. Celia
say hello once again. Wow, I like it's we know
she can take a joke, and her tell for not
being able to take a joke. She turns really red.
So I think you're white? No, you're white right now? Yeah? Yeah,
(03:27):
you hit you're just whitey.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
That wasn't that didn't hit me hard enough. That wasn't like.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Because it's not true. Yeah, I love you. When Stephanie
filled in, we wanted to kill ourselves. Oh my god, Stephanie, no,
don't do my girl like dad about Rachel. You turned
into a drag queen or a black person when you
just said don't do my girl like dieg.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
No, I'm not trying to impersonate either, because.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Oh boy, oh boy, you are a font of goodness. Uh, Okay,
so anyway, so quitting the reason I thought about you
Andrew Ginsburg, who, by the way, I will say, please
preorder his new children's book is on Amazon. It's coming
out on April seventh, but preorder. It's called The Colors
of My Sky. It's for K through third grade. But
(04:10):
I will say, like I read it, I'm really good reader,
and did I was very touched by it. I thought
it was adorable. It was really well done.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yeah, did you?
Speaker 5 (04:20):
So?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I thought of you? Because to me, leaving something when
you know it's wrong for you is a great thing
to do. It is not negative. It is powerful. So
tell us a little about how you end up in
the position of this children's book writer opposed to what
you used to do, which.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Is what stand up comic.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
And there was no one, and I tell you, no
one who was less likable on that stage than you.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Now you are lovable in real life. Look at you.
You're a mountain of a man. Very handsome. By the way, though,
when Nick and Bo, my friend Nick as you know
him from the podcast, and also our friend Bo told me, wow,
we know this guy Gintinsburg. He's fantastic. He's a great guy.
You're gonna love him. We start hanging out, they go,
he's a ten. When it comes to looks, I may
(05:14):
have just more harsh judgment. I give you a six. Yeah,
you may have worked your way up to a six
and a half because I have love for you as
a friend now, but what do you put yourself on
the level as far as looks go? You have terrible
self esteem?
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Terrible?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
What would you say objectively? You are?
Speaker 5 (05:30):
I started putting gel in my hair this year at
forty six years old. Wow, I think now I'm a
solid seven.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
H don't get fancy, don't get it conceited. Maybe okay,
So you think the gel bumped you up?
Speaker 5 (05:43):
I do. The hair used to be a big mess.
I had this big mop of a head and it
would stick up, and I finally put it down with
some gel. I think, think about me up half a point.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I think maybe our our listeners will weigh in on
your appearance. It's fine, I mean it's better than nick.
I mean, come on, yes, but who am I to judge? Anyway?
So we meet because my friends say Andrewgans were a
great guy, funny guy. And we started hanging out, and
so then I started going to your guys' show, give
(06:12):
you notes. I had nothing to do at the time.
There was no podcast, no coaching, no nothing. I was like,
I'm gonna go watch these guys. And I remember I
always thought your jokes were well written. But I'm like,
why don't people like him? Because you're a lovable guy
in real life. You're one of my favorite people. You're
one of my best friends. So I'm like, why don't
they like him? And I think one day I was like,
(06:35):
how do you tell someone that it's just not translating?
So do what do you remember that about that time period?
Speaker 5 (06:44):
Exactly what you just said. I was always a writer
on a writer doing stand up. I was I liked
writing the jokes. I didn't love performing, and it came
out that way. I felt uncomfortable. I didn't like being
up late at night. I just like writing the jokes.
I thought my writing would get me far. And you know,
if they want writing, they'll read a book.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. So you when I would
say things like we tried different things, Remember like for
a while, I was like, well just try what was
it wearing a collared shirt? Because you were wearing T
shirts so you look like two buff and I was like, well,
maybe the men don't like you because like you're threatening
looking to their women. I don't know, like wear a
(07:25):
button down shirt, it'll elevate it. What else? Did we try?
Sitting down because you're so freaking tall?
Speaker 5 (07:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:32):
How tall are you?
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Six three?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah? That's off putting because you have to you what
it was because you had to lean over. You almost hunched.
I was like, well, if you sit, you'll look more relaxed,
you won't look as stiff, and tried that and then
what really made you go? Fuck this? We're done?
Speaker 5 (07:51):
Uh leaving my kids at night and reading. I was
reading books to them, but we called book party every night.
I read two books seven thirty seven o'clock. That's when
the shows are. Right now, I'm gonna go tell my
jew riddles.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, his jokes, jew riddles.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
Because there were one liners. They didn't really give you anything.
I'd do sixty of them in the thirty minutes that
it was just lined up after another, and I'm like,
I'm gonna go or do my little jew riddles to strangers.
When I could read books to my kids, and you know,
the kids get a lot more out of it than
the audience is yes, and so do I. It was
it just didn't fit. It wasn't serving me anymore. So
why am I doing this? And I stopped?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Had it ever served you? What do you think it
did for you? And was there always something gnawing inside
of like I don't think this fits, but I have
to keep with it.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Yeah. The guy that helped me in Boston, Teddy Bergeron,
gave me some confidence and taught me the ropes a
little bit, and you know, I moved to me. I
felt like I should keep it up because Teddy thought
I had potentially right, so it should.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
There's a lot of it's like whenever we're told we
should do something. Yeah, was there also if you look
back now, a want from the inside? Was it I
really want to do this, I really love this.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
I wanted to There was two things I wanted when
I moved to New York to do stand up. I
wanted the picture outside Carolines because that is just.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
A tourist, that's true.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
Oh no, your picture, sure, my poster outside Carolines. Because
I lived in Midtown, I would walk by as your poster,
I said, Jim Norton. I'd see Paul Mooney Dick Gregory,
and I really wanted to be that. That was what
I wanted. When I was twenty five and I auditioned
for Lewis and he liked me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
It was the legendary booker at Carolines. And I always
wonder because you were like, Lewis really likes me, and
Louis is gay, And secretly was like, Louis just wants
to fuck you. Like he's not going to try to
because he's a gentleman and you're you're married, He's never
going to do anything like that. But part of me
was like, he's dazzled by you your looks.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I mean. I also so I was doing single material
then because I was single, and that was slowly more
likable than marriage and kids material, I think because it
was more relatable to the younger people. But you know,
eventually I did get the post direct outside Carolina Way,
and that was a good moment for ego. But what
I was doing up on stage was not special by
(10:19):
any means, and I knew that it felt uncomfortable and
the other thing I wanted to do was perform stand
up on television. I did a stand up contest on
the view It's Not Late night, but it's close to me.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Oh my god, did you win? No, do you remember
who you lost to?
Speaker 5 (10:34):
I don't remember his name, but.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, he's probably a nobody anyway.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Yeah, it was funnier than me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Well, you know what, It's funny because I remember there
was a moment that I was like, oh, he's gonna
be able to hear from me that he can quit
once you said one thing at the diner, Like I
was like, I'm not going to tell him to quit,
but I bet I see an opening now. We were
sitting there talking about comedy and Bo was struggling with
(11:01):
writing some stuff and didn't know if he should write
more serious stuff about recovery because he's sober and what
to do. And he goes, I just love it. I
mean it's just like I love doing it. I love
it so much. And he goes, Andrew, come on, when's
the first time you remember really loving comedy?
Speaker 5 (11:17):
And you were like, never, never, not once. I dreaded it.
I dreaded every single show. I wasn't looking forward to it.
I did it because I felt obligated to in some
weird way, and you know, it would feel good sometimes
after if the set went well, and horrific if it didn't.
But I before I dreaded it. Not one show was like, oh,
this is gonna be awesome.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Like so when you look back on it and you've
had a lot of therapy and I think that's great.
What do you really think was driving staying in something
that doesn't fit.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Not wanting to quit, not wanting to look myself in
the eye and say, ah, I failed failed, not not
being really not looking at real reality and saying, you know,
the shoes don't fit. And I just thought I could
keep going. I thought it was like anything, keep working
at it, you'll get there.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Is, by the way, no shade that you would think that,
because that's what we have drummed into our head. It's
just not true. Yeah, Like I could try for the
rest of my life to be the greatest painter in
the world. It's not going to happen. Like, I don't
have natural ability for it. So you picked something initially
that wasn't the right fit, and then eventually it was like, oh,
(12:31):
I have all this evidence mounting that this isn't correct
for me.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
Yeah, twenty five years of evidence.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yeah. Yeah, So there was never so you'd come off
stage sometimes if it was half decent, and you'd be like, okay,
escaped by the skin of my teeth. That was fine.
But there was never a oh man, I can't wait.
I would like, you know, just I would die before
I would stop this. This is fun. No, there was
(12:59):
no to go.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Home, can't wait to go home, can't wait to be
in bed right right?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I think that's or I would say with the writing now,
which sounds like a way more natural fit, because I
think it's so obvious doors open when you start getting published,
and like it's like, oh, look at that, like something
worked for me that I didn't have to kill myself
for and feel like I didn't fit the job, like
when you arguably be like I could either be doing
(13:27):
stand up that I'm really not good at, but I'm
forcing oh, I'd rather be homewriting, like which there's more
of a lightness. It sounds around that other.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Yeah, I just wanted to be homewriting. It's comfortable for me.
Time goes by quickly with that. I look forward to it,
I sit down to write it, I'm really excited. I
never felt that way with stand up. I liked writing
the jokes. I'm like, oh, this is funny, this is clever.
But that was it.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
And also you liked hanging out, which I think a
lot of the if it was with friends, like it
was friends shows, yeah, so it wasn't like you're like,
can't wait to go do that open mic or that
show here or there. But oh, if it was like
a bunch of pals, like it just has a lightness,
it's like, well then just hang out with them, yeah,
like schedule the time to hang out. But I think
(14:14):
yet the idea that quitting is a failure is just
not true. It's leaving something that isn't right for you anymore.
And I think if it's a friendship, a marriage, a job,
or whatever, like you would fully say to someone else, yeah,
you should just leave, But when it's ourselves, it's hard
to kind of move forward on it.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
So I remember the last straw for you was you
did a show. It was in Fairfield. Was this one
that you supposedly headlined? Okay, so Fairfield busted balls all
the time with people say headline. I always go, there's closers,
and there's headliners. Closers finish the show, they close the show,
and they have no name, like no one cares headliner is, Oh,
(14:59):
it's a headliner. You go to see them. So you're
closing the show in Fairfield, Connecticut. I think did Bow
and Nick do the show? And Nick killed because he
just has that natural thing. He sure does, doesn't I mean,
I want him to have jokes, but he doesn't need them.
He's so good with the crowd. He's off the cuff. Again.
(15:21):
I pushed for him to do jokes because that's kind
of how you get a special or on TV. You
can't just do crowd work forever. Even I had to
do that. So Nick, I think destroyed that night. He
did great, and you Bo did fine. I'm sure Bo
did well. Yeah, and so you went up and how
did that feel?
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
You had on the shirt? You had on the button shirt.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
Yeah, I had no excuse that the buttons, the buttons
were all in, the buttons were correct. And I went
up there and just wasn't getting last. It was the
energy was way down from Bow and Nick, and the
order should have clearly been reversed.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Right.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
It wasn't right. And I ate it up there, I really,
and I just felt like, Okay, this is the end.
This is this this marriage and kid stuff that I'm
talking about with my jew riddles. It's just not appealing
to anybody. Yeah, I don't enjoy this. This is just
this doesn't feel good.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, because I remember we got in the car. We're like, oh,
let's go to the diner. I'm like, you could ride
with me because I was like, oh, I see my opening.
And this is back when I was a big advice
giver without being asked, but I didn't care because I
was like, I have to save him from this life
of horror. And I think I was like, dude, it
just they're you're wearing a nine and a half shoe
(16:45):
and you're ten. It just doesn't fit. And I think
it was really calm and it was like quiet like that.
It wasn't what the bug and you're like yep, And
it was felt like that's how it landed for you?
Speaker 5 (16:59):
Do is that how you because exactly how it landed.
It was really a funeral. It was it was a funeral.
It was right after the show. It was okay, it's
time to bury this stream or nightmare or whatever you
want to call it at that point and you know,
let's start grieving.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah, and did it what did it feel like internally?
Feel like in your body. What did it feel like?
What emotion came up for you?
Speaker 5 (17:27):
Sadness? Spent a lot of years trying to do something,
you know, with shoes that didn't fit and a foot
that was growing bigger.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 5 (17:38):
Yeah, it was necessary. Like anything that that you quit,
it's going to be painful, but it was necessary. I
knew it. I knew it was the right time. I
knew this chapter was over.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
So I give myself so much credit for waiting to
the right time. Should I have said nothing maybe with
somebody else, but you and I are close enough, and
it was quiet, and like I just saw that opening.
So yeah, I'm not saying to everybody, go tell your
friends to get divorced and quit their job. Wait till
the moment and maybe you don't say anything. But with you,
(18:09):
I was just like, I think he's ready. You almost
have to know somebody's ready. It's like if somebody's in
the hospice, you should probably pull the plug if they
ask you to, like they know they're ready. Okay, smother them.
You know, this show is pro euthanasia and killing people.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
At bottom, that was my bottom, and it's time to
go to the clinic.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, yeah, So what did it feel like in the
days after, You're like, yeah, this is actually done. Because
how many years had it been? Like twenty years? I
oh my god, it's a lot. That's a lot of
time to invest.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
Yeah, but I would to be fair, I wasn't fully invested.
I was not chasing down sets running around the city.
I was doing it leisurely, kind of half assed, and
it came off that way, but it felt it was
a big relief to be done. And then days following like, great,
never have to do that again.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
So it felt like relief again, much like someone who's
been sick for with cancer for ten years and they
finally pass. Yes, you're sad, but there is that sense
of relief of like they're in a better place now,
Like I really thought after you quit, I was like, oh,
he's in a better place.
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Then I'd say, yeah, and thank you for getting me there.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Hey, that's what I'm about, making people kill themselves. So
what did you Is it then that you started because
I remember we had talked about, Oh, I think you
have something to say though, so we started working on
a solo show about your upbringing. Was that right after.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Right after that? Yeah, I literally jump into something else.
You definitely have something to say, but not in this format.
And he geared me towards solo shows. And I remember
I watched your show and I said, I'm my god,
this is amazing. I know what my thing is. I
emailed you. I said, my dad, my whole life, I've
(20:02):
been trying to get my dad's approval. That's what my
show would be if I was to do a show.
He said, I'll help you with that. I'm like, oh
my god. Yeah, And that's what began that show Self
Worth List.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
That was fun to work. I mean, it was heavy,
but it was fun to do. It's a good project.
Do you think then, what helped soothe the ending of
one thing was the gently beginning another thing.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
Yeah. Yeah, I was ready to continue being creative, but
it needed to be It needed the space needed to
be available for something else.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
That's right. It's like you have to something's always going
to suffer if it doesn't have any room to grow.
So yeah, got rid of one thing. Okay, but this
seemed to me like the right fit because it was serious.
It required good writing and discipline, which you could do.
So it wasn't like I didn't feel was medicating, just
(20:59):
with an activity because of you to come up with. Look, man,
now that I'm done with comedy, I'm just gonna like,
i decided I'm going to be an actor. I'm quitting
my job. I'm going to the city every day on auditions.
I would have been like, girl, you're just medicating, Like
what the fuck?
Speaker 5 (21:12):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
So this felt right? And did you feel that show
was more fulfilling and more of a natural fit for you?
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Absolutely most fulfilling thing I've ever done. It was meaningful.
People liked it and it felt good. It was healing.
It was a really deep show, and yeah, it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Did it help a lot with the dad stuff.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
It did. It did mean so much of that was
trying to win my dad's approval and a rough upbringing
and putting it out there in those terms in front
of an audience, and you know, reflecting now on how
I'm a father and I'm trying to do my best.
It was incredibly healing.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
It still is it is. It was good And how
did that feel? Performance? Why when you were up there
physically versus stand up? Like, what was the difference?
Speaker 5 (22:04):
Much better because I didn't have to get a laugh
every ten seconds. I was there to tell my story
and give them something much deeper than jew riddles. There
were no jew riddles right there, weren't.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
We wouldn't allow them. Yeah, I was like, no, trying
to be funny, stop it. But yet there were laughs.
There were a lot of laughs.
Speaker 5 (22:23):
Yeah, with stories though, and yeah, obviously I saw that
that's a lot more powerful.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
So I think it's like, this is probably what confuses
me why someone would start stand up of all things.
If I'm not saying you're not a funny person, but
that's not the quality that hits people over the head.
About you, You're you're a great guy, You're mildly amusing,
(22:50):
you can talk very well. What made that the thing
to grab onto?
Speaker 5 (22:59):
I watched Harlan and I just thought it was so cool.
I thought I thought it was really cool. It was
the coolness of it.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Yeah, well, I think it's cool that that asshole on
Netflix climb that building. Actually I don't think that's cool,
but I would never do it, So meaning, like, does
any part of you think, Okay, I know he can't
be conscious. Hey I'm not. I don't have an aptitude
for this, but I'm gonna show people I can do
the impossible. I could be the one unfunny jew on
(23:27):
the planet and make it work, Love me daddy. So
was that part of it?
Speaker 5 (23:32):
One hundred and that one open mic I went to
that I bombed, and for some reason that comic told
me I had something. Had he not said anything, that
would have been it. Yeah, I would have gone home.
I would have I would have said, well.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
That's that's I tried. Yeah, I tried.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
I give myself credit. I was out there for two
horrible minutes. My left leg would and stuff shaken, and
now it's over. And that's that. That's not for me.
But this guy's like, Dad, you have something. That's telling
me I have something. He was like a father figure.
He was a much older, very successful comic whose career
didn't go as plan, but as far as talent wise,
(24:11):
he was somebody who I thought, do tell Yeah, he
told me that, and I listened. I was like, I
gotta do this. Teddy says I have something. Teddy has
says I have something. I kept going twenty five years.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
It's like we didn't. We didn't lump in that. Teddy's
a raging, fucking alcoholic, raging out and we have to
be careful who we listen to. Yes, you know yes,
and it's just like, oh, does that person have what
we want? Well, I don't want an alcoholic life and
doing you know, clubs, and no this is not like
(24:44):
I'll check my facts, you know.
Speaker 5 (24:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
So it was a lot of approval base. It was all.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
It was completely approval. It was Teddy's approval. And I
watched him go up that night and I said, oh
my god, he's so good. He was so good. Yeah,
and this guy thinks I have something. I got it.
I got to prove him right. So I kept go
and did you.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Just need rides? Because I've done that to people. Oh see,
oh he wanted company.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
Yeah, maybe you want a company? Would let me open
for him? And you know, you give me jokes, say this, they'll.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Love this jokes you which is great. Yeah, but I
think I've glombed onto or I've I've recruited openers who
I was like, they've got a little something, but also
like they'll be fun in the car. Yeah, you know.
So maybe some of it's the friendship part and the connection,
which is no problem. But when you would deep down
(25:33):
as the years would go by and you put the
head on the pillow at night, did party you think
this just isn't right for me, and then in the
morning you just do it again, or did you just
suppress that I.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
Felt that way. But I was personal training and I
was dating and I was having fun, So it really
wasn't It was just like a little hobby. I treated
it like that. I wasn't. I wasn't doing what was
necessary to to get somewhere. So it was just like, oh,
it's a cool thing. I'm cool, I'm meeting I get
girls out of this. Well. Yeah, So it really wasn't
such such a point of turmoil. It was. It was
(26:10):
just like I knew I wasn't good because I would
see other people. I'm like, oh they're good. Wow, how's
he do that? I kind of knew my place, but
I kept doing it because it's like, oh, this is
kind of again, this is cool.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
And then how did the whole children's book stuff start?
Because I know you you mentioned it once that you'd
written one book, and I think it was because this
years ago, because oh, I have a kid, I want
to write a children's book. How did this end up
like being the thing that you know you're drawn to
and it took off.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
I love reading to my kids more than anything in
the world. I had this client that I trained in
the city. You said, Andrew, if I can give you
one piece of advice. She was a grandmother, phenomenal mother.
She said, read a lot to your kids. So I
took that to heart and I did, and I started
loving it. I love the intimacy of it's just so
sweet and you know, you're you're cuddling with a kid
(27:01):
and they're laughing, and it's it doesn't get more tender
or meaningful. And I was reading one book one night
to my kid and I'm like, God, I could write
something this bad.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah, it's so little more bad, some great some of
the more bad leo.
Speaker 5 (27:16):
My middle would put it in a say this is garbage,
and we throw the book quickly, like garbage, garbage. So
I'm like, I want to write something. I think I
could do something. The comedy taught me how to be succinct.
There's six hundred words in these books, so you have
to use them wisely. And I thought I could do that,
and I started trying, and it's it seemed to work.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
It sounds then like that trying that came from a
very honest place and motivated by the right goal, like
I'm going to entertain children. I'm going to start I'm
going to do my kid, and then it ended up going, oh,
this can entertain other kids because this publisher wants to
put it out. So I think that's like it's great. Well, yeah,
(28:02):
we shouldn't need external validation for anything, but that sounds
like it comes from the right kind of externals. It's
not some drunk who wants you in a car because
he can't drive himself or whatever. It comes from someone
who's like, oh, my kid likes it, like it just
as a sweetness to it. So did that just seem
to be the activity of even doing it feels better?
Speaker 5 (28:26):
It felt great. I love children's books and I love
reading to kids, and writing a book would allow me
to do that both of those things. Go to schools
and read to kids, which I'll be doing this year.
I'm excited about.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
That's so cool and.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
It's a very sweet way to spend my time. And
I have no expectations of fame or fortune, but I
do know that I'll be able to read to kids
and hopefully make them laugh at these little things and
just just give them something. Yeah, you know, a lot
more meaningful than jew riddles.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I do seem to have meaning to it. Yeah, which
I think that's why even if nothing happens, even if
this doesn't sell, you don't get the next one, it
doesn't matter because there's a meaningful two years you've spent
doing it.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Yeah, and it's right. My kids are young now, well
I want to do this in ten years I don't know,
but right now it's right. It feels right. I have
no done in my mind that this is my path
right now.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
So there's no internal I know we work a lot
with the same therapist on like where do you feel
it in your body kind of thing. There's no internal
struggle about it. There's no no no, no twins, no,
just just excitement and warmth.
Speaker 5 (29:43):
It's yeah, this is something I know is right. It's
not even a question in my mind. This is this
is where I belong.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
So what would you say to someone who's sort of
going through the same thing of like, ugh, I'm trying
this thing forever quitting equals failure. What would I do anyway?
What would you say to them.
Speaker 5 (30:04):
Take an honest look at your talent and also how
to fix your life and if it's causing you you know,
dread and pain and suffering. Get out of there, don't
stay in something. You know a lot of actors stay
thee stay the course. I'm going to get my break,
(30:25):
and the thirty and forty and they're fifty and they're six.
I'm going to get my break. And I think burying
the ghost is a healthy thing.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah, and just grieving what could have been. Yeah, you know,
it's that death of a dream thing we talk about.
It's like, oh, I dreamed i'd be you know, selling
out Radio City or Madison Square and whatever. Oh, that's
kind of sad that that didn't happen. I think grieving
is like an important part of it. And I think
you writing the solo show is what helped you in
(30:52):
that grief, absolutely, because you did what was right for
you and the feelings of talking about it helped the show. Yeah. Wow, Andre,
you only tell us the name of the book again.
Speaker 5 (31:05):
The Colors of My Sky.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
And this is a very racist book, you said.
Speaker 5 (31:10):
Now, it's a protest. It's a protest against racism and nationalism,
but it's told with butterflies, and the stories it used
uses metaphor to gay.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I'm just being no, Actually, it's not gay. It is
gay enough. I love it. It's super fucking cute, and
it's just it's funny because when you were we're brainstoring
the book at first, you had a black butterfly named Bleak.
I go, motherfucker, you can't fucking have a black butterfly
name Malik. Let's like, not do that, okay, so what
(31:40):
end up having? We just not have a.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Black No, we do not have a black butterfly.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Good. So they're all like weird colors that nobody is anyway.
So yeah, there's a white butterfly. Dude. It's really cute.
It's really it's really good. It's a I don't know,
like I I find I do tear up a lot
of children's books just because it's so sweet. This one
I definitely do so April seventh, but pre order now
(32:06):
on Amazon. It's cheap as fuck, how old? How much
of children's books?
Speaker 5 (32:09):
Hy ten bucks at Jesus.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Christ by four for all your dumb kids who get
your stupid Celia just ordered five. You didn't even have kids,
you didn't even get sperm in or do you? Okay, Andrew,
we have some letters from people who to quitter or
not to quit that is the question. Oh, by the way,
if you have a question for us, send it to
shrink this show at gmail dot com. And by the way,
(32:34):
since Nick isn't here and we always have to promote
his dumb social media because all he does is say
yo yo, Nick Scopes. You can find me at uber eats.
Where can they find you Andrew Ginsburg?
Speaker 5 (32:46):
Oh, you can find this big jew at Andrew Ginsburg
with the you like the judge, not the poet with
the ease. There's actually another comic call.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
So don't follow that hat. Well he's yeah, so so
Andrew g I N S b U r G on Instagram. Listen.
I love how you assume our audience is smart enough
to know Ginsburg was a poet and or a judge.
They don't neither. Our audience is stupid. Celia, where can
every rEFInd you? Girl?
Speaker 3 (33:19):
My instagram is Celia Underscore, Underscore, rob.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
And Ki Great.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I will and you find Stephanie Lee are former producer
at Lane Stephanie Lee.
Speaker 5 (33:36):
No.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Nick kept messing up, saying, oh.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Okay, s t E P H something la score.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
I think, Oh, who cares.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
She's not here anyway? I don cares she's all dressed
up today because Paris Hilton is taping in a different
room and I'm like, oh, you're dressed up for Paris Hilton.
Then she tried to be all like shifty and nice
and go, no, it's for you too, lying. She looks
like shit every other fucking time she comes in. No,
you don't have any just kidding, Okay. Andrew reads a letter,
Dear Lisa what.
Speaker 5 (34:08):
I'm a thirty one year old stand up comic who
moved to Hampshire to New York City about a year ago.
Since then, I've auditioned at a few clubs but have
not been passed anywhere, and I'm doing mostly bar shows.
I have two roommates who are stand ups and we
have fun, but sometimes after a rough show, I think
about quitting and moving back home. How do I know
if I have what it takes to make it to
(34:28):
the top, or if it's an unrealistic dream.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
I don't know. That's hard because he's not asking, he's
not really indicating he hates it or that he's not funny.
So I think all these people have to start doing
the problem is no one slows down enough to feel
into what they actually feel and want to do, so
(34:56):
if he was to after a show, eyes meditate, see
what comes up, see what thoughts he's having, see what
feelings are coming up? Even the next day, he'd be
able to figure out, is this something I like enough
to keep doing even if I'm not successful? So I
think the problem is we keep chasing without thinking and
(35:17):
without feeling. Do you agree with that?
Speaker 5 (35:19):
Yeah? Absolutely, You just keep going because you got you're
chasing that carrot. Yeah, you don't stop to think, well,
how's this affecting me? How do I feel? How's my
talent level? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Like what does he say? What's the last what's like
the actual question at the end of what.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
It takes to make it to the top or if
it's an unrealistic dream?
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Okay, the make it to the top pisses me off anyway,
because there's like ten people who make it to the top.
And by the way, what is the top? You know
what I mean? The top could be selling out Madison
Square Garden, But is it because Dice Clay sold it
out eight times and then somebody else is going to
sell it out twenty times and Kevin Hart's going to
do it then, So what's the top? I think the
(35:58):
question he should be asking is how do I know
if I love it enough to stick with it? I
always when I was I had such a uggo I
thought I was so great. I didn't care, but I
always would ask myself, Oh, like, would I do this
for free? Yes? Would I do it if I never
(36:18):
made it? Yes? Would this is such a blast? Yes?
Like I think Nix in that similar category. He wouldn't
do it for free because he's poor. But I was like, oh,
I had, you know this drive? But also it's a
fun hobby even if I don't get paid. Iven if
I'm just like the guy who makes twenty dollars at
whatever club? Cool. So I think it's a he's answering
(36:42):
asking the wrong question. So next, by the way, probably quick,
you probably don't have what it takes. Okay, go here, Lisa.
Speaker 5 (36:58):
I've been married for four years, but the past two
years it's been a daily struggle. My husband works long
hours and comes home every night angry. When I talk
to him, he's snappy and tells me how easy my
life is. He hates his job and I've told him
to find something else, but he refuses to. We've tried
couples counseling and even a small break from each other,
(37:18):
but he continues to treat me like crap. I still
care about him, but I can't continue to be treated
this way. How do I know when it's time to
give up on this marriage?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Oh God, I am the wrong person. I asked because
I hated marriage. I fucking hated it. I remember looking
at Jimmy and it wasn't his fault and just being like,
why is he here? Let me fucking die. I got
in his own apartment at one point because I was like, no,
it'll be cute. It's like a man cave. You can
just hang out there. It's like, I hate you. I
(37:49):
just hated living with someone, So I'm bad to ask
about this stuff. You're a married guy. You've been married twice.
We've all been married twice. Celia has been married four times.
What what do you think? Is this even about her
quitting or is it just like, Hi, I don't want
my spouse to abuse me anymore.
Speaker 5 (38:07):
Yeah, it sounds like she just doesn't want to feel
like shit every day.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
I mean, if she has to continue being shit every day,
it's not gonna last.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
But yeah, and it's also like, honestly, so impossible to
tell someone to quote get out of there, because first
of all, there's finances that we don't know about. There's
suppose there's kids that adds a thing in I mean,
it sounds silly, but there's animals, there's houses. Like it'd
be easy enough for me to walk out on any
(38:39):
marriage because I'm set up. I wasn't always, but I'm like, okay,
But like, could I have looked at my parents, for instance,
just as an example, and been like, Daddy, you should
go because mommy was mad last night. Well guess what.
There's a lot of factors involved that I don't know about.
So I think he sounds brutally unhappy as a human
(39:01):
and hates his job. I think the bigger question is
why isn't he looking for some job he doesn't hate.
And again that's a privileged point of view, because maybe
they don't live around. Where do they live? Where do
these yahoos live? Sometimes they live in a shitty place
that there's no fucking jobs Toronto. Oh there's jobs in Toronto.
You fucking lose or douche, stop yelling at your wife.
(39:25):
The thing he needs to quit is that job, get
a new one, and stop blaming her for his shitty
life or do you think sometimes he just secretly doesn't
like her. Maybe he doesn't like her and he's like,
just because I don't like that, he says to her,
her life is quote easy.
Speaker 5 (39:42):
Like why, yeah, that's just dick.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Do they have kids? Did they mention that.
Speaker 5 (39:48):
It doesn't look like they have kids?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
And she should work. I'm not big into the housewife saying,
to be honest, like, if you have kids, I get it,
stay home with them, God bless, but the who's the homemaker?
Like we're in the fifties anymore? So I think you
and I just think both of them murder suicide packs.
I think that sounds perfect and I will not quit that. Okay,
(40:12):
next letter.
Speaker 5 (40:15):
Dear Lisa. I've been in a relationship for seven years.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Oh more relationships. See this stuff. I'm no expert.
Speaker 5 (40:21):
He's kind, he's loyal. Nothing is wrong. I just feel numb.
We don't fight, we don't grow, we just exist.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Ugh.
Speaker 5 (40:29):
How do you leave something that isn't bad just no
longer right without feeling like a selfish monster?
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Oh God? I remember once I was at the therapist
and I said, this guy asked me out, and I
forget what it was and you know, he's fine, and
at the time you could say this, she goes, Listen,
there's lots of fine people out there. Homeless people are fine.
(40:57):
You wouldn't want to date one, which that's an unwoke therapist,
but she fucking was right. But yeah, just because someone's fine,
it's almost worse that he's fine. I'd rather date the
jerk off who's yelling that I'm a lazy count at home,
because at least there's some fire, at least you have
some good makeup, sex or whatnot, Right, Celia, just say yes,
(41:18):
just yell yes into that microbe bitch. But like that
the hole. He's fine, but a numb I think that's
a sign to leave. And I'll tell you why, because
indifference is worse than hate. There's no passion.
Speaker 5 (41:38):
What do you think, I think exactly that there's just
nothing there. It's just blah. That's a really terrible way
to go through life, because it'll just continue, yeah, less
and less until there's you know.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Like the embers aren't even warm anymore, the fire has
gone out. I think we acknowledge like as you're with
someone longer longer, it's not no longer like a raging
hormone bonfire, but there should be a little flame once
in a while. But this, like you can almost sense
it's I see the wood crumbling, ashy and going the
(42:14):
fire is indeed out. Yeah that sounds like a terrible relationship,
but it's so much harder to break up with somebody
who isn't an asshole like I've had that where I've said,
I've had boyfriends who I'm just like. I wish and
I don't didn't mean this, but I wish he'd just
cheat on me. I wish you just hit me, because
then you'd have every reason to leave. But they don't
(42:35):
give you a solid reason. Did you ever have any
cheat on you? You must have, right, not that I know
of they did?
Speaker 5 (42:41):
You know, I'm not that smart. I don't see signals,
you know.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Yeah, yeah, I and not that I know. Were you
a cheat at all?
Speaker 5 (42:48):
No? Never, No, No, I would just get out of it,
you know.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah, that's smart because I'm.
Speaker 5 (42:54):
A guilt ridden that's true. I can't live with myself
if I do something like that.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Remember, Oh, we one night at the dinner we were
talking about cheating and I just go listen. Man. One
thing I'm really proud of is I never cheated, and
I go, well, except in eighth grade, I made out
with the guy who's number one on the tennis team,
but I was dating the number two, so but that
was justified. And then I go, well, and that guy
in high school, And like I started, I think, other
(43:21):
than Jimmy big Balls, I think I have cheated on
just making out every single guy I ever did. And
I'm like, I tell myself the story. I'm not a cheat,
but I'm a big fucking cheat. So I say, hey, lady,
cheat on your husband or break up with them. That's
the only two answers, am I writer? Am I right?
Speaker 5 (43:39):
You're right?
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Correct? Okay?
Speaker 5 (43:41):
Last letter, Dear Lisa, my best friend keeps repeating the
same toxic cycles. She's always talking or dating her ex,
who is terrible. She complains about twenty she complains about
him twenty four to seven, and I've listened, supported and
coached for years and nothing changes. I've told her not
to run to me when he hurts her again, but
she doesn't listen. How do I stop letting her stuckness
(44:03):
drain me? Rachel twenty seven, Denver, Oh.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Drained in Denver is what we'll call it. Rachel. Well,
I'm gonna answer different than she wants me to. Guess
who needs to quit. You're thinking, Oh, Lisa's gonna say
she should quit the boyfriend. No, Rachel, you gotta quit
being an unpaid coach to this crazy cunt. It reminds
(44:32):
me of that episode of Sex in the City. Now
I know you Andrew probably did not watch Sex in
the City. I did, Oh you did, so you was
it to learn about women and how they.
Speaker 5 (44:42):
With them?
Speaker 2 (44:43):
They always do well. There was one episode where Carrie
goes to have lunch with mister Big and they have
already broken up and he's hurt her deeply, and Miranda,
arguably the most annoying character on the show, says, well,
if he's gonna fucking hurt you again, don't come to
me and tell me, and they have a huge fight. Well,
(45:04):
Miranda was right. Quit being their unpaid coach and therapist.
Tell them figure your stuff out. You're not gonna drain me.
Feel free to talk about this when I have the energy.
But the person who needs to do the work is
not the chick dating the weird guy. It's this unpaid
life coach Rachel. Because she's getting pissed off and drained,
(45:27):
and she doesn't have to do that, but there's something
in her that loves being drained by it. She loves
at her friends the problematic one. She's the little Miranda
fix it gal, and she gets to be the smarter
one who probably gossips about her a lot. I'm guaranteeing
you she talks about it to the other friends. So
I say, Rachel, stopping a big yenta and just stop
letting your friend drain you. It's your own fault. If
(45:49):
you're being drained, it's your own problem. Am I right? Andrew?
Speaker 5 (45:52):
You're right?
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Of course I'm right. When have I been wrong? See?
I imagine you've had friends complete and have been draining.
I imagine you are a big drainer. Oh you're the drainer. Okay, yeah,
So what would you advise?
Speaker 3 (46:07):
I was talking about this in my roommates other night,
about like friends who will complain about the same guy
for years and years and years and never cut it off.
They're aware that it's wrong. And I am a person
who does that right, like on on the non receiving end,
I do that.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Yeah, Because you're like obsessed with Harry styles and Finn
Homo from whatever the fuck? No, stranger, Yeah, we actually
date you won't. What's his name? Finn?
Speaker 5 (46:33):
What?
Speaker 3 (46:34):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
I love? No, I don't know that show.
Speaker 4 (46:37):
No.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
No, I'm saying wow to you, saying you won't do
you know.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Because there's stars.
Speaker 4 (46:47):
I'm just I'm a star.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
No, we needed to be write down and we're going
to do a show. I'm being realistic and within your budget. No,
it's just like that's not me, but it's a fantasy.
Speaker 4 (47:00):
See maybe I'm just crazy.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
I like could see it happening, Like I could see
us getting along, like like you'd be like, oh, like
you're really pretty and I'd be like, yeah, like.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
I do like that confidence. Do you really feel that way?
Speaker 5 (47:14):
No?
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Oh well I think my personality is beautiful, so I
feel like that could probably really really real them in Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
No, no, I think you're a pretty girl. I'm not
saying do you think you're pretty? Do you honestly in
real life think to yourself? Yeah, it's possible. Yeah, Oh
my god. I love that.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Not about Harry Styles, because like that's obvious why I
already met him and he didn't fall in love with me?
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Oh okay that Yeah.
Speaker 4 (47:38):
I also was like one hundred pounds heavier.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
So I'm like, I because he's famous.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Probably yes, so like, give me another chance and it
would happen, Like I am convinced.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Wow, Oh, to have the confidence of a twenty three
year old in New York City. Wait, isn't that nice?
I think that's what weight loss does for people, and
why even though we all know ethically and morally that
fat is as good as thin, people when they lose weight,
they get this reinvigorated sense of life. Did you is
(48:10):
this because of the weight loss?
Speaker 4 (48:13):
No?
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Oh, just such a fucking liar.
Speaker 4 (48:15):
I don't know. Actually that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
You do agree because you said before he probably judged.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
You because I hate my picture with him because I
look so foul and just pudgy and big, And I'm like,
all I want to do is post that picture everywhere,
and I don't want that picture of me anyway.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Can you just photoshop skinny?
Speaker 3 (48:34):
I can try, but like, the background was so complicated
that I think you would see all of this stuff
like stretched in the back. Oh, but sorry to answer
your question, I think that what was the question?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
While you're draining people talking about myself? Like would you
be how would it be if your friends go, look,
we love you. We're just not gonna talk about this anymore.
Speaker 4 (48:59):
Remember when that happened to me.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
That's why I'm asking refreshed people who haven't heard she
had a full on meltdown. But how would the new
Celia act now that you're all fixed? You wouldn't go
off on them?
Speaker 3 (49:10):
No, And I don't think I did go off on them.
I think I went off of myself. But if anything,
I'd just be like, Okay, well, then that person isn't
the right person to talk to.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
Right, You find a new one.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Right, and just keep draining when you go down the line,
not no one.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Just go through your your circle of people and be like,
all right, who would understand this and who would like
give me good advice about this instead of this other
person who clearly doesn't care about what you're talking about
or honestly is exhausted from it.
Speaker 4 (49:35):
Right, Just find someone else.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
So you just exhaust one and then you move on
to the next, exhaust them, and pretty soon it's down
to just complain it on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
Or you hit your welcome pot and you have a
friend who it doesn't get exhausted by you and will
listen and give you advice on anything, which I'm very grateful.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
To have it. Look at the happy ending that we
have facilitated for Celia. I take full credit for that,
because she's talking about me. I'm the person she drains.
Speaker 4 (50:03):
Just kidding, probably one of like thirty two per day.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
You're not that bad. Have you really though, done the
endless complaining about a certain man?
Speaker 4 (50:15):
It's been like, I'm twenty three. Yeah, it's been like
fourteen years of.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
The same freaking guy. Okay, I'm gonna kill myself. We're
gonna do it. Okay, we'll be back at some point. No,
we got to hear about this at some point. I
still obsessed. Have you ever dated him as well?
Speaker 4 (50:35):
I'm I don't want to answer that.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Okay, we're going to dig into that future episode Fixing
Celia Part seventy two. Anyway, Andrew ginswork, thank you so
much for being here today. Did you have fun.
Speaker 5 (50:47):
It's so much fun. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
Of course, and thank me for telling you to quit comedy.
Speaker 5 (50:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
You're welcome, because I just want people to know that
I did the right thing by not keeping my mouth shut.
And the book, once again children's book is called the
colors of my sky. It is not racist because there's
no black butterfly named Malik anymore. You can pre order
on Amazon. K three or three will love it and
just get it because it'll touch your little little soul. Oh,
(51:13):
I have to do that nick thing that he always does.
Thanks for listening. If you have letters, send them to
Shrink This Show at gmail dot com and listen on
the iheartapp or wherever you find your podcast.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
My
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