March 24, 2026 • 47 mins
In this episode from 2025, Lisa and Nick revisit the chaos of doing too much—and secretly wanting to do nothing at all. From the unexpected joy of being sick (because no one can bother you) to the guilt of canceling plans, and the pressure to always be “on,” they break down why people overload their lives and then resent it. They get into the juggling act between alone time and staying social, calling yourself “lazy” when it’s just bad self-talk, and how forcing connection never works the way you think it will. With listener questions about balancing friendships, staying in versus going out, and the fear of ending up alone, Lisa delivers her usual tough-love take: you don’t need to fix your life—you just need to stop fighting what you actually want.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta I know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. His podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. It should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Only these you need help, You're the problems. Come on,
come do gollam, take a pill. I think you're insane.
(00:37):
Do what I said, dumb ass. Listen to me, you
god that song, It's the essence of my being. I
am sweet and lovely Lisa, and welcome to Shrink This
(00:57):
with Lisa Lampinelli, the podcast that teaches you how to live.
But absolutely you should not take any of the advice.
You should ignore us. But wait, I'm going to start over.
I'm going to start over. I think you should listen
to us. I'm not starting over because I'm not afraid
(01:18):
to have been vulnerable and human. Unlike you people, I
put myself out there. I make the mistakes on air,
and damn it, we're keeping them on. So Celia, you
control freak people. Pleasing twat, don't you edit a thing?
It's Lisa Warts and All on Shrink This with Lisa Leipadelli,
(01:39):
the podcast where we give you advice and I think
you should listen, and I'm here with my brilliant sidekick,
Nick Scubilety. Have to mood like I am.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Yeah, I'm a little I drove in today, so it
required more focus.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yeah, I think I may never do it again. It
was nice today. Anybody feel listen.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
To you Boom podcast over and over and here how
great you are, which is not what I did. I
made the mistake on the drive of listening. You have
to be careful of what you intake. Correct and guess
what I in took today on my drive. No, never
Jackerys and they're not a sponsor. Fuck them because they
never sent me anything free. Yeah, but I made the
(02:24):
mistake of listening to a two parter on a cult escapee. Now,
this is a depressing subject, so you gotta I gotta
be careful and monitor what I'm listening to. Did you did?
Did you listen to something harrowing? Also?
Speaker 3 (02:38):
No, just music at a low volume.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
See that's better.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
What was the cult?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Oh, fundamentalist Christian cult? And it was such a great podcast,
And of course after episode one, I noticed my neck
really hurts and my back hurts, and I'm tense and
I just can't wait for I'm like, I'm not listening
to episode two, but you have to because episode two
is the one where she escapes, because I want to
have some hope that she escaped. And then she escaped
(03:04):
and it wasn't worth the payoff?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Why not? Wasn't good?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I mean it was great, but it still made me depressed.
I'm like, bitch, how you get involved with that shit
in the first place. Nobody's trying to put me in
a call. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I feel you. She escaped and now she works here.
What's up Celia?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh she's our former trad wife, Celia Seljia. I could
I just call you Selja to give it a Hispanic flare? Absolutely?
I enjoy that. Yes, you know that's that's actually a
Hispanic name. Well listen, don't be racist, all right, stop
being racist.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
She escapes the racist I know well.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
That that happens. That's the trajectory of all of them.
But I love how our podcast starts off as being
one thing and now it's not about anything. I decided
I'm really exhausted after one episode. I'm quitting. It's It's
it people. I hope you enjoy our two parter.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
About escaping I escaped.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
The cult of Elvis Durande I did. He said to me,
do a podcast, and I said, damn you, I'll do two,
two episodes that is, but I'm bumped. No sound effects, guy,
I don't get a sound effects guy effects.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
No hit a cool button.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I wish I could at least the penis sound. I
want to hear that week. Please. Of course, I'll get
a button just for it, like a little splurt, even
though I haven't heard a splurt in a while. Thank god,
I right now listen. Speaking of not splurting. That's our
subject today because we got a lot of letters about
(04:51):
people who well, I will actually preface this with a
story of my own me personally, I feel like I
have a strong belief that the worst thing that happened
in my life was I got the flu. But not
for the reasons you will think it is. Once you
get the flu, oh my god, you get to have
(05:13):
a loane time. It's like forced by yourself. You're with
your three little dogs, You're on a couch, you're laying
a certain way, and yes you're shitting and throwing up,
but it's a small price to pay for the fact
that you can't lift your head up. No one will
call you, you don't have to respond to anything. So
I had such forced alone time for like a week
(05:36):
that I was like, oh shit, now I want it
all the time. I'm fantasizing about the flu. So that's
not good. It just shows me I shouldn't have to
get sick, like literally sick and sick and tired of
being sick and tired got it like we It just
shouldn't have to be sick to take the time to
not respond to anybody and to just be by myself.
(05:58):
Can you relate to this?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
In September I got COVID.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, and I was.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Home for five days.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Best days of your life.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
And by the once like the fever and the shaking
and the chills went.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I was like looking like lightly looking at work from
home jobs. I was like, this is realy nice.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
It's hard though, because you're a personal trainer who could
be found at by the way Nick scopes what is it?
And what on?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
All on all the plant and all.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
The stupid things they're also yeah, farmers only tradwives, you
could be a tradi dot com. Yeah, brandos only do
But like, isn't it just the best to not have
(06:46):
to deal with? But also it's because do you think
it's because we frontload our lives so much, with so
much to do, that we drive ourselves to need alone time.
When we all wes should do is admit we need
it and then we don't have to get sick to
take it. It's ridiculous. It's like, what's the point. What's
(07:10):
the point of this driving and striving and doing more.
I wrote an entire play last year about doing less
and I don't. And by the way, writing a play
is a lot of work, so you do more inherently.
But once I'm done with this play, I'll do less.
And it's like, wow, what was the lesson in writing
seventy five pages of do less? It was that I'm
(07:32):
still doing too much. And it's not by anybody else's
else's standards. It's not as much as a mom with kids,
or as much as a guy who's running around and
like dating or doing this and has a job. I
just do too much for me. I think I just
don't admit that I need just shutting off. Sometimes.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I agree. I you know, I go back and forth
on this subject all the time because I do love
my alone time. But at the same time, when I
do take off from work or I have time to myself,
it's cool for like an hour or two, or like
a day or two, and then I start to get
like I gotta do something, yeah, or then even work.
(08:11):
I know, for me, like this week was a really
busy week for me, I'll get too comfortable, yes, and
like I almost like I got to rush through everything
to get to my downtime. It's like I struggle with
this a lot. I go back and forth, and I
really don't know what the answer is.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I don't know the answer because you would think by
my age sixty three, you know that they go proud
senior citizen. I'm a proud and I'm not a silver
single who let their hair go gray. Shut up fucking
Collie anyway. I yeah, It's like I don't want to
tip into I heard a quote I'm too old to
(08:48):
act old. It's like I don't want to tip into
the old lady who never leaves the shoe. You never
leave the house, because like old ladies when they're eighty,
there's a lot of them are super happy to just
stay home and they'll go to like church and bingo.
And that was my mom. She was like, twice out
(09:08):
of the house a week is enough, and like, yes,
does she get to be the judge of what's enough
for her? Yes? But to me that feels scary. The
idea of not having something to do at least five
six days a week makes me feel like I'm going
to tip into the other extreme. So I think there's
like the two extremes. There's like the I need all
the alone time and I'm sorry, but guess I have
(09:30):
no patience for and I don't care if anybody even
hates me after this. The I am socially anxious. I
don't like going to parties. Just ask me to go
somewhere and I'll just say no. It's like, well, then
I'm glad you have no friends dialogue exactly. There's that extreme,
and then there's the oh my god, I just have
(09:51):
to do and do and do and do. So I
don't know where the balance is only a parent when
like we're sick, like when we go, oh, I've finally
balance it out. I had three days at home to myself,
and now I get to go three days out.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Yeah, now you don't have it. It's when you don't
have a choice. Yeah, I have to make the decision.
Because every time I've like been chilling and I've chose
to like go somewhere and do something, it's never been bad.
It's always been like, oh that was fun.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
But also, you and I have this thing where we're
high energy. So we'll never go to a place and
be half asked about it. We're not I wouldn't say
life of the party all the time, but we'll bring
it fully. We won't go and go look, I'm just
gonna like be mellow at your house, Like if I
don't bring the right energy, like I'm sorry, No, we
just go and we go full out.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yeah. I think I was just gonna say that. It's
trying to like we feel like we have to be on.
I know you can't just go and show up and
being because I've gone places a little MOPy or tired and.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
They're like, what's wrong? You're usually okay, I'm Nick you
doing okay?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Nick? I noticed something. Is it the fact that you
own have a girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Maybe is it the.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Way game like they have to then plod and asked
you what's wrong? Like it's like, dude, I just was
like being me. Do you think actually we're even supposed
to be up up up all the time when we're
out in these situations bringing ourselves as our true self
might look different than we think.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Yeah, I think, I mean do you think that like people?
Because well, especially for you, like I know for me
and my friend group, but because you are who you are,
I think people expect you to be a certain way
when they meet you, and they're probably like if you
have any bit of lull that like you want to
be on and good to go, and you always show
up to shit, you don't. I never cancel, you never can.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I can't do two things. And it was because it
was way back a few months ago over the holidays,
because of again being sick. Yeah, and when my dog Parker,
like I mean it was it's not a blessing, but
like I went home one day and like his two
back legs were like faced in like he's in a pla.
He was in position five ballet because he had like
(11:56):
a disc problem, And I was like, oh my god,
I'm so sad for the dog. And thank god it
got fixed. I'm like, oh my god, I get to
stay home with him. If you it is a true
friend who will say yes, stay home with your dog.
And if they don't say yes, stay home with your dog,
then that's not a good friend. You just cross them
off the list. Ye. So yeah that it's like those
(12:20):
things converge and you're all of a sudden like, oh,
I'm allowed to stay home. Yeah I'm not bring that.
But but other than that, I rarely cancel.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
That's never. But I even want to, like I find
this for our like our diner nights when it's like me,
you and the other two comics.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, we go together once a week and like talk.
We ostensibly started this as a writing group, but none
of us wants to write anything. Somebody's that we sit
around and make fun of the two Greek owners exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
And I always want but like for those times like
it should be chill, right, just and it is chill.
It's so fun. I enjoy it. But I'm always like, oh,
maybe I should like take a nap before tonight, like
just to be ready, like because bring it, yeah, just
to bring it in and have fun and be good
to go, like I always like make sure, like I
like to, I get out of work early on Tuesdays,
go home, I chill, I have like dinner a little bit,
like a light dinner, and then I go to the diet,
(13:05):
like want to have a nice downtime, set.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
It up nice.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Yeah, before I hate that, I'm like that, but I'm like, oh,
I have a little downtime and then go it's weird.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Our other two guys, Our other two friends, Bo and Andrew.
It is never questioned if either one of them are
in like sort of a down mood or more mellow
or whatever, because they're just allowed to be full human beings.
But I think me and you, it's like we have
to bring it. Yeah, And I don't like that about myself.
I love I would love to be like boring. Yeah,
(13:34):
And you know, people listening to this podcast are like,
you are, don't worry about it, no, But I like
want to be just with family. It's tough too, because
I have a family. One half of my family is
super heightened. My sister's side of the family. They bring
it there loud, They're always playing games, which I love
all that stuff. So I feel this pressure that I'm
(13:54):
going to be the boring one, and they're going to
be like, are you okay? My sister? I love her,
her biggest heart in the world, but the two things
she says it drives me nuts. Are are you okay?
And when I tell her something good happens, she goes,
good for you. I'm like, I'm not the special needs
bagger at the grocery store, but a good for you
(14:17):
sounds very sort of insulting, but I don't I know
she doesn't mean it that way. So but around family,
I feel like, oh, I have to present well. It's
so hard to even say I'm okay and have them
sort of accept it. So that's why I think the
alone time for us is like, oh wow, we get
to not pretend anything.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
But the the other side of it is if I
go two days and realize I have not spoken words
out loud, like I've done that where I'm like, oh
my god, all I've said all day is who's a
good boy? No, like, who's a good boy, who's a
good girl. We're all trees to get my dog to
(15:05):
Parker to come to me. I have to trees, like,
you can't even say it normalous They respond to like
voice sounds, I guess, and I'm like, I have not
spoken a word. And I also like, just real quick, like,
are you I think we're both considered extroverts.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Correct, I guess, I.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Know, but I think we have a little, you know,
introverted need. Also like, there's also a little need for
introversion sometimes, and we shouldn't drive ourselves into being ill
to get this job done. But yet, what's the fear
by the way of actually, okay, I'm feeling totally well,
(15:45):
I'm one hundred percent like right now we're taping the podcast.
I was in a terrible mood because of my back, neck,
thighs and other issues. But I said, you know what
I got the podcast gets me in a good mood,
which proves extraversion. I love that the energy is up.
But the idea of going home after and like just
(16:06):
canceling the dinner, oh god, it's even uncomfortable, say, canceling
on a dinner. I can't say. Two good friends, I
love them, I want one of them's leaving for Florida
for like months to do a show, so I'm like, oh, yeah,
my last chance to see him before he goes the
idea of canceling it makes me so uncomfortable because the
(16:27):
story I tell in my head is I'm Lisa. I
don't cancel, but maybe I'm Lisa who sometimes has to cancel.
Like we construct these artificial identities for ourselves. Oh, I'm
the person who always dot dot dot. I'm the person
who always you know what, I shed one of those.
I'm the person who quote always brings something when I'm
(16:49):
invited to a party. Fuck you. You come to my
house a lot and you never bring anything. I'm not
bringing anything to your house, so I have to deconstruct.
I'm always the person who shows up, maybe to my
detriment if I'm tired. So are you a canceler? Ever?
Not really? I know you a lot more.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
This is a small percentage, but I will tell you this.
I have a weird if I do cancel something, I
have this weird like almost like fomo.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Oh see you get that.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Not not fomo, but I'm like the only thing that
I've canceled the most, probably honestly, is dates. Sometimes we're like,
I'm like, it's Friday night, or you said yes to
something earlier in the week and it's for me Friday night.
When it's Friday night and work's done. Yeah, I don't
know what it is, but my body's like, it's.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Beautiful to stay on a Friday. It's doesn't feel like
you're cheating life. Also, I would say on behalf of
every girl you canceled on for dates, you've done a service.
They are thanking you. They've saved themselves from getting not
up from by some wap guinea bastard who won't watch
any shows. Others say say, I, no, don't edit that.
(18:01):
I'm perfection.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
I don't know about you, but there's times where I
look forward to a day where I don't have anything.
Love it right. The morning comes, it's slow, it's nice
the first few hours. Then I feel like I gotta
do something m and then I do something for a while,
and then the long story of it is it takes
me a while to settle in to do it. Yes, nothing.
(18:24):
And I want to know if you were the same
way or if you're like, nah, I'm chilling, because it
takes me, like to like three pm to be like okay,
we can relax.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
We will like settle into it.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
To the day of doing like nothing, you know what
I mean, maybe an errand or two, but like, it
takes me a while to settle.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
H I think I've just had more practice at it.
So when I get up, I don't even set that alarm,
and I'm just like, you get up. When you get up,
those freaking dogs will eat whenever I get to them.
Nobody's dying in this house. It's fine. So it doesn't
take me much settling in time anymore. But I remember
when I used to go on vacation. There was this
really fancy spot I used to go to when I
(19:01):
thought I was a big shot, and they all said,
it's gonna take you three days to get into the
mindset of this place, for you to let go of work,
for you, let go of your like family obligations. So
I see how that could translate into just if you
have one day, it's gonna take you like a third
of it just to gear up into it. So my
advice to you, even though you didn't ask, because I'm
(19:23):
always about giving advice when I'm not asked, like, don't
set the alarm and allow yourself to if you know
you know what, I'm gonna break this. I'm gonna go
like grab coffee. I'm gonna like go to Duncan Dundas
I'm gonna go and you know, take a walk, be
like okay, well I'm allowed to do that. So nothing
I don't think means laying down the whole day, even
(19:46):
though that's the goal. I think like the oh, I
allowed myself to do that thing, and even though it
doesn't look strictly like nothing, it's still fine. Yeah, you know,
I think for me, it's just like, oh, I don't
want to interact with people for that day. I just
want to be like, oh, I can just never say
words out loud that aren't treat which is how I
(20:08):
call Parker and you. Okay, So next, who wrote to us?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Let's see? We have a letter here, Yes, from Chase
Chase Range, Illinois.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Sounds gay.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
I'm in he probably is. Let's see, okay, Lisa, I
am thirty four years old, single guy gay. These are
my letters I wrote. Why are you keep putting these
in here?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
You name your kid Chase? Come on, he's gonna be
chasing Dick. And it's I mean, it is what it is, Chase.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
It's also spelled c h a ce.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Oh wait, It'sasse. Get the hell out of I'm joking.
Of course, I don't have any idea, but Yeshase.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
So I'm a thirty four year old single guy. Gay
love you by the way. I love interacting with people
and socializing, but I'm simply lazy all caps. H. I
also feel quite satisfied with my relationship to the real Housewife.
Oh no, oh boy just took a turn. Their drama
(21:28):
and shit talking is enough to fill my cup and
my butt. No, that's here's the problem. I do not
want to die alone. I feel like I need to
be seeking a partner since I am not getting any younger.
But like I said, I am lazy all caps again.
Love you bie, Okay caps exclamation points.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Very good, They're rather to be exclamation boys after that.
I think Chase is very judgmental of himself. And the
reason I say this is there's abs I I've rarely
met anyone who's quote lazy. That's such a judgy word.
People say I'm going to take a day and like
do nothing at home. I'm so lazy. It's like, no,
(22:11):
you're not. You're human and we're human being, not a
human doing. I know that's a cliche, but it's true.
You know, and you've never been to a twelve step meeting. Uh,
but lazy is such a judgment on yourself. So I
think it's first of all, Chase, if I may call
you that, watch how you talk about yourself. Because I
(22:33):
never liked when, like Nick, you've done this where you're like, oh,
I'm so stupid or I'm so dumb. It's like, first
of all, if you're saying it, you're probably not it.
Like it's the people who go, am I a narcissist?
Oh my god, I hope I'm not an narcissist. Of
course you're not, because you're questioning it. I guarantee you
Chase isn't lazy, but maybe is overly judgmental on the
(22:54):
time that he's spending by himself. Also, the one place
I'm going to judge check is how about we subtract
the drama of the Real housewives and then add actual
people in yeah, who don't come complete with drama, but
will invariably have some drama.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
There's no one I'm friends with who hasn't had a
tiny bit of dramatic content just because that's how we live.
Someone has somebody dying, someone has a sick dog, somebody
has a bald head and tits. Nick, And this is
what happens. So that's enough dramatic content. And also then
it's called living because it seems really weird to be
(23:36):
so wrapped up in drama that doesn't really exist for you,
Like those aren't people who are serving you? And ask yourself?
Are you protecting yourself from interaction with others and getting
that little fix from people who don't know you on
a television It's like watching the Sopranos and thinking we're
(23:57):
friends with them, even though I think you and I
probably are friends with them in our minds. Yeah, oh totally,
they would so hang out with us, Like I mean,
I'm like Eadie Falco's sister. I think anyway, maybe your mom.
So yeah, I mean, what do you think? Do you
to me? He sounds like it's I'm initially like chuckle
(24:17):
is his letter, But then I'm like, I'm a little
sad that he calls himself names like that.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah, he's just dealing with some stuff on the inside there.
I think step one is stop watching the Real Housewives.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I mean yeah, I mean, well, I remember when I
did The Celebrity Apprentice, and this is of course before
Trump became anything. It was just like a fun show
to do that'll be silly. It turned me so off
to do to watching any kind of reality show because
I'm like, that's not real. Everybody's fake, it's bullshit, and
(24:48):
you get so heyight in watching it. Like I if
I'm going to watch a good drama on TV, say
it's like a Handmaid's Tale or something like that, you're
just like, Oh, it's worth it because of the art
of it. But watching these other things, it like just
get you keyed up and makes you think you know
people you don't.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah, awful people. Yeah, truly, it's the worst. I Mean.
The thing that gets me with his letter is he said,
I feel like I need to be seeking a partner
all that getting any younger. And I've gone back and
forth on this. I've asked a therapists about this brad
or guy, you know, I feel like he says, I
(25:25):
feel like I need to be seeking a partner, And
I always think do I like, do you need to
actively be looking and the apps and doing this and
making yourself go out or are you just like doing
stuff that makes you happy and as you live through
life you meet that person, Like, what's the answer is it? Like, No,
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
As a single goal who's dated both in the era
of apps and things like that. Plus the old fashioned
way when they would drive up to your farm and
a horse and buggy and would trade your father would
trade you for two goats the sheep, and that's pretty
good price for me. I gotta tell you, I honestly,
(26:05):
in my gut, I feel like just living life and
seeing what happens, because then you're just open to things.
And that's where all good ideas come from, is just
having some And again that's alone time. It's going. I'm
allowing myself to live my life alone and still look outward.
You can still walk down the street by yourself, but
(26:26):
not have your eyes and your phone or to the ground.
You can still be looking outward and be open, but
you don't have to be actively like searching and striving
sound like they will never get you the results you want.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah, I mean, that's the best example I can think
of right off the top of my head. Is like
the New Year's resolutioners, oh terrible. Never like when you
go from just you know, fucking off for lack of
a better word, the last four months of the year,
you've been drinking and going to parties and eating sugar,
and now you're like, all right, no carbs and no
alcoholics extreme, gonna go here and guess what. More times
(27:02):
than not you're gonna say relapse, but you're gonna it's
gonna come back.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Right, So it's like if you're going out, say he
he he has a he's motivated one day and he
flips the script. Yeah, I'm gonna done being lazy. I'm
gonna go out and I'm gonna chase men. I'm gonna
pull my ween around and do all this stuff turned.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Him into a bottom.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
I'm just bottom. Probably think we're gonna ask me, I'm
gonna m find out. But if he flips the script
and he's like, I'm gonna go hard, like New Year's
Resolution style and go into it. And then if he's
disappointed or like things aren't going his way and he's like, oh,
I'm just gonna go back to what I was doing,
and then he'll go deeper into what he was already
doing as opposed to like, hey, maybe once a week.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Well it's once a week go to a bar. Yeah,
it's go with the flow. You. If no one has
ever gotten burnt out on anything, if they just want
with the flow. True, so you've never like been but
I used to think it was great to be driven
and to strive and to find a calm plishment. And
it's just like, I don't know. I mean, every friend
(28:03):
I've kind of met in the past, you know, twenty years,
has been just because you happen to go someplace and
you vibed and you got it. Was like, I'm going
to actively seek friendships. God damn it, I'm going to
this connection group and we are going to all do
a forced hike together. Like, by the way, yeah, don't
don't ever name physical activity for me, but yeah, I
(28:25):
think poor Chase I would be like, Also, thirty four
is to me not in quote danger of dying alone.
And that's a little young to be dramatic, but I
get it. That's where he is. Housewives, Yep, they sure have.
And you know what it is to dying alone. Guess what, Chase?
(28:46):
Everyone dies alone. Like if you could have a wife
sitting there, you're still alone in your death. Like there's
just the reality. I think it's acceptance that and not
in a fatalistic depressing way. Man, We're all gonna die
alone and that's okay. And I have to accept that
my body's gonna slow down. I'm gonna you know, getting
(29:07):
an acceptance of these inevitable things really free you up
to be more inflow and meet people and be present
and be in conversation and not have it forced. Does
that make sense to you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:18):
I think like also too. And I've done this in
the past, where like, say you're on a dating app
and you get a match and you're excited about it,
and you're like, oh, I get a match and like
maybe it doesn't pan out, or like they're not responsive
or x y Z or like you get excited about
all these opportunities, but then say they fall through and
you just start going down the other way versus like
you know, you're waiting for them to respond. It's like
(29:40):
it's just like a constant Yeah. I mean, hey, like,
are they gonna get back to me? Is this gonna?
Is this the one? Is this the Meanwhile? If you
just lived your life and do stuff you live your life,
you kind of This is something that my therapist told me,
was like people just kind of are attracted to like
you and.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
What you're doing, your energy, you're vibe.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Yeah, you got your own shit. You're not like, Hey,
what do you like a puppy dog following them around?
Be like you like me? You like me? You got
your own shit going on? Yeah, they find that attractive
if they like you, great.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
So I think Chase should get out of the house
once twice a week. Yeah, get rid of the real
house while I stop watching some real dramatic stuff. So
you could talk to someone about something other than those
bitchy queens and just don't be so hard on yourself.
Don't call yourself lazy. We'll do that for you. Do
you have another letter? We do this, bitch.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
We have a lady.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Oh, or, as we like to be called, a bit
clams clams. Yes, Melissa from New Rochelle, Oh, New York, Okay,
where my grandmother lived. Oh really, God, rest the soul.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Oh God, she had a penthouse.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Arleen had it going on. I'm keeping my first don't
damp my jewelry a way she's.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
That is literally, I think the ghost of her just
went inside of you.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I'm telling you those women all wanted to keep their
jewelry away from one particular cousin who was mean to them.
She didn't call me on yours poort aponted the anniversary
and now she's dead to make give my sapphires.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Sorry, it's true. Melissa from New Rochelle, New York. I'm
gonna talk like this, Okay, Dear Lisa. First off, I'm
a huge fan and also have an ex husband with
big balls done that.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
That's a good reason for a long time. By the way, boy,
living alone, I never have to be in danger that
two disco balls are gonna hit me in the naggin
pretty big. Okay, Okay, let's.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Come back to that. But now I live alone in
New York City and I absolutely love it, having my
sex and the city mom. The thought of going out
after a long workday is not appealing in any way.
But with friends wanting to get together, I'm struggling with
how to balance my love of being alone with the
(32:12):
pressure to be social and keep friendships alive. What do
you recommend? Thanks in advance.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I mean, it sounds like she's killing it. I mean
like Chase is the fucking idiot. It sounds like like
the she says balance, here's the problem with balance. You're not.
You only start talking about balance when you're out of it.
Then you notice it and you're like, oh shit, I
felt so in balanced yesterday what happened. So I think
(32:40):
it's like kind of going maybe setting up a loose
sort of network of Like, Okay, my loose schedule is
I always take Friday night and Sunday to like do
nothing and be by myself. But Saturday, you know, do
something with friends or do something with family. It's not
having this sort of all or nothing. I think the
(33:01):
big problem with people is it's either all or nothing.
And that's the problem with classifying ourselves even though we
all do it as introverts or extroverts, because no, I
always need to be alone, I always need to be
with people. No, like it has to be balanced somehow.
So I mean, I don't think she sounds like Sah.
First of all, she's from New Rochelle and she finally
escaped it and lives in New York City. I mean,
(33:23):
enjoy it and don't. By the way, those of you
who live in New York City, trust me. I lived
in New York for years. Never once went to a museum,
never once went to Central Park and laid out there
like some Mama luke who thinks it's their backyard. I
never once went to a trendy singles BA called Adam
Zappa or Adam's rib something. Those were the days when
(33:43):
we would go to the singles BAS. You'd sit up
there with your martini and your Donna Karen rap dress,
and the men would come up and early, lady, how
you doing looking for it to good BA. But never
did any of that stuff, so she's probably having her
little moment.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
It sounds awesome. My first thought, like, this is the
women I date. She has an ex husband with big balls.
I could fill the space.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Always get rid of the ex husband with big balls.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
That's right. And she's like, now I live in New
York City alone and absolutely love it. You're single and
you're living in New York City.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah, again, what.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Seems to be a night one night.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
You know what she needs to do is set up,
set up. See this is where you're doing to get
horny and try to bang the listeners. Listen, people, I'm
trying to protect you. If you're a woman or a
gay man out there, don't bang that. It's always a
road to trouble. But we'll talk about emotional unavailability in
a different podcast episode. Yes, that is not even make sense.
(34:47):
You just got obsessed with wicked six months ago, I
don't know, I know you're gay. Now. I think she
and Chase should actually hook up and like switch a lot.
I don't even hook up physically because he's he's a
gay and like kind of she should educate him a
little in like connecting. But like there's too much pressure
in New York though, to do things. I do find
(35:09):
that's that where the balance gets tipped, where you're like
every night there's like a cool restaurant or a cool bar,
a cool opening of something, and it's just like, eh,
the beauty is. I remember once when I was sitting
I had been invited to a like a movie premiere
of some I don't know, it was a big deal.
It was a Jim Carrey movie or something. And I
was literally I said no because I didn't feel those
(35:31):
things fed my soul anymore. And I was literally across
the street in a diner watching people, and I was like, oh,
that's the thing I was supposed to go to. I've
never been happier sitting alone by myself in a diner.
So you like you notice the times when you are
kind of like making the right choice of like, oh,
being around those people wasn't feeding it. Being alone did so.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
I don't know, man, Yeah, this is like I want
to like help her, but it seems like life's going
pretty good.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
It seems like that's a humble brag letter. Yeah, I'm
living in New York my life. I mean, like what
seems to what is there a kernel of something in
it that sounds tragically?
Speaker 3 (36:08):
I mean the line I thought of going out after
a long day of work is not appealing anyway.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yeah, yeah, I think that's something you got to just
accept about yourself. By the way, save it for the weekend. Now,
the problem is then you're going to try to stuff it.
That's where the balance problem will come in, where you
s'll try to stuff it all into the weekend and
then hates the weekends. So maybe it's going one day
a week, I'm going to go for drinks with the
(36:34):
girlies there, go and watch a Real Housewives with the
girl with the gal pals. I don't know what girls do.
I think that's what they do. I probably correct. She
is definitely not. Maybe I think Celia is a potential
scissorer from way back, way back. Yet yes, no, but
(37:03):
I think it's like basically, take one night a week,
fall on the sword and be like, I gotta make
something happen one night a week. Then take your Saturday
or your Friday, and then allow yourself. I think all
of this is like allowing yourself to be yourself and
find your own balance and stop questioning what's right for
you on the inside and doesn't have to look like
(37:25):
a TV show. That's probably probably why I never went
to any trendy things or went to museums or anything,
because I didn't feel it on the inside. It was like, well,
I'm should be going. Anytime you're saying should, it's probably
a don't right.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Yeah, I like to fall on the sword thing. I
think that's what you should do, so you should do Melissa,
fall on the sword, sit on the sword. My nickname
in high school is excaliburs.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
You know what I'm saying, so we don't. Could you
please explain that it sounds very inter resting out of a.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Rock and fight another army.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I think that's wow, someone's taking Shakespeare class. Listen. I
think we've been helpful to Chase. I think Melissa has
done some gentle bragging and we kind of hate her
a little bit now, and you're gonna date her? Uh
if you have a question for me, make sure to
email us us shrink this show at gmail dot com.
(38:20):
That I was gonna spell it, but I'm like, really,
could you like spell it without wait? See if you
could spell it Nick without looking down? Because you got
what was your GPA in college?
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (38:30):
College was good? What collge? We were at a three? Even?
Remember what was your school?
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Personality? Yes, look, dude, Celia's faces.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I know it's pretty crazy. So try to spell shrink
this show at Gmail without.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Looking s h R I N hey t h s
s h W.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Every week I like to show that you know Lisa
Lampinelli despite my famed fortune. In general, overall, Jones Sequa
are absolutely imperfect, just like the rest of you.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Am.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I less imperfect than most of you, duh obvi, but
I still make mistakes. And this is when I told
my friend Andrew Ginsberg about because whenever I do something bad,
I try to confess to you because they hold you accountable. No,
just because I feel I could be open. Now, Nick,
tell me please if you can relate to this. It
(39:41):
was a very busy day on the road. It's very
a lot of traffic, A lot of people wanted to
get a certain place at a certain time, and heck, yeah,
I'm one of them two right, and there I am
in my I don't like to brag twenty ten Lexus
SUV with my three hundred and sixteen thousand mile because
I feel at heart, you know, I'm the gal who
(40:03):
drives a car into the ground. I'm a gal who,
like my dad or my mom, has that work ethic, like, man,
we're gonna buy that car, and we're gonna get everything
out of it. I remember once having a freaking car,
Chevy Chavette in my first car when I was in
my twenties, and I didn't get rid of it until
the window broke, so you had to put like plastic
(40:25):
on it. And my mother, in all her inemitable power
and lightness of being, said, you look like a Puerto Rican. Really,
that's why I figure better get that change. So I
like a car that I drive into the ground, but
it still looks good. Lexus has never looked bad. Yeah,
so I'm driving, But I've always said to myself, this
car doesn't really suit me. I have Toyota personality. I'm
(40:50):
raised like a human. I'm raised lower middle class. We
didn't have tons, we had to take our student loans,
so we were thank god privileged enough to go to college.
But very basic folk. I'm very dunkin donuts. I'm basic
as fuck. So at heart, I know I'm a Toyota
person driving Alexis. But now we're in the heavy traffic
(41:10):
day I referenced and some guy. I know it was
a guy because I'm assuming. I'm sure he was white,
because I'm assuming that too, because all white men are terrible, right.
He literally cuts me off so close. And I rarely
get scared on the road. I always say my two
talents ever were driving and comedy. That's all I can do,
(41:33):
so I never really get that scared. He cuts me
off like within an inch, and I was like ugh,
And the first oh my god, it's so evil. The
first thought that comes to my mind as I watch
him drive in front of me. I don't even beat
the horn. I don't do anything outward. It's all my
internal fuck up, which is huh, enjoy your fucking Nissan, asshole.
(42:00):
Even saying it, I'm so grossed out because it's such
a like rich people asshole move. And again, yet did
I do it anything outward?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
No?
Speaker 2 (42:10):
I didn't beep. I didn't follow him. I didn't roll
down the windows. I've always said I have rage everywhere,
but the road I've never because it's just too much
at stakes. It's very really scary. It's too much a
stake when you're driving. But the first thought was I'm
better than you because I drive this fucking car and
you're a piece of shit. No guarantee you. He's a
(42:31):
piece of shit for all different reasons. It's not a
Nissan because guess what this is how God got me
back A mere two weeks later, Fucking Lexus starts shaking
in the front boo. I'm like, after only three hundred
and sixteen thousand miles, how dare you? And do you
(42:55):
know what I took it in? They had me convinced
I have to buy a new car, and I said,
you know what your penance and your practice is now.
You gotta go back and buy the car that's really you.
You gotta buy Toyota. No, not a Nissan. They're kind
of the same, they are they have just our family's
(43:19):
a Toyota family. And I was like, this is the
Universe's way of teaching me that that little part of
my ego that's still attached to things is just not
something I need anymore. I need to be driving around
in a regular car like a regular person, because that's
who I am internally, and legit is alexis better than
(43:42):
a Toyota. Maybe it has a little more pickup, maybe
it's more roomy. Whatever it is, I'm not fancy. So
go back to your roots. Get a Toyota, Lisa, and
see how that feels. And it does feel a little weird,
I know. Well, luckily Angel intervened as part three of
the story. My mechanic ended up fixing the lexus, so
(44:06):
I get to push off my ego issues until my
lexus truly breaks down. But I did talk to my
shrink about going to that judgment with that guy, and
she says, I think the most uncomfortable thing for you
to do, which is obviously when we're uncomfortable, there's the
best growth is going to be getting the car you wait,
(44:30):
the car you need, versus the car car you want.
And I think that car is going to be a
fucking toy owner. Yeah it is, so, I mean I
think those so I like when I have a fuck
up that actually drives me to work on an issue.
You know, I like that. I thought it and owned it,
(44:50):
and it was embarrassing to say it. The first time
I told our friend Andrew, I was so embarrassed because
he's like a Volvo driver. But he's a basic guy
too at heart, He's he's like just us. I think,
my dirty Italian self someday have to just buy a Toyota.
But I'm not getting a fucking Camra. I like them,
but they're too small. I just feel like I'm and
(45:14):
also like to Mike pull down my own veil. I'm
getting older and uh getting in and out of one
of those fucking back seats. No, yeah, you gotta have
an issuvou because I'm always making out, as you know,
constantly having the sex in the car. That is my
(45:35):
That's going to be my fuck up next week is
that I had the sex in a car. Can you
imagine ever paying for sex? No, that's for a different episode.
The only reason I thought, I was thinking, why would
I ever be in a backseat of a car. Probably
just be life. I drove up on some male hooker
just happened to be standing there. Hey, hey, sailor, you
(45:57):
want to hop in the back of my Toyota? I
mean it could happen.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
I hope it does happen.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
I do. I did have a dream that I was
making out with a really hot guy in the back
of a truck. The others I don't know, some guy
supposedly from my past.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
You don't remember who was though, No, but he was hot.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
How hot?
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Are we talking?
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Like a little football player, not a big football player,
at a little tiny football player.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
A corner like a bottle head, a corner.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
This paper? Yeah with Nick, Oh my god, listen, we
gotta go. I've shown you my flaws. Next time we
speak you may be talking to Toyota driver. But for now,
thank god, my ego gets the lexus. All right, Yeah,
all right, So Nick, it's been a pleasure. Tell people
once again where they can find you.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
You could follow me on social media at nick scopes
like the Mouthwashed because I'm fresh and mintye.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
No, you're neither, And you can find me at Lisa
Klampa now Lisa Lampinelle. If you can't smell it, well,
then you don't deserve to borow. And please come back
again and hear our next episode of shrink This, and
make sure to send us your questions at shrinth This
show at gmail dot com at shrinthstop up timemalth dot
com and make sure to follow us on socials and
(47:18):
make sure to listen to shrink this on your iHeartRadio
app or wherever you get your podcasts, which should be
the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
With you, stupid
Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta I know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. His podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. It should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Only these you need help, You're the problems. Come on,
come do gollam, take a pill. I think you're insane.
(00:37):
Do what I said, dumb ass. Listen to me, you
god that song, It's the essence of my being. I
am sweet and lovely Lisa, and welcome to Shrink This
(00:57):
with Lisa Lampinelli, the podcast that teaches you how to live.
But absolutely you should not take any of the advice.
You should ignore us. But wait, I'm going to start over.
I'm going to start over. I think you should listen
to us. I'm not starting over because I'm not afraid
(01:18):
to have been vulnerable and human. Unlike you people, I
put myself out there. I make the mistakes on air,
and damn it, we're keeping them on. So Celia, you
control freak people. Pleasing twat, don't you edit a thing?
It's Lisa Warts and All on Shrink This with Lisa Leipadelli,
(01:39):
the podcast where we give you advice and I think
you should listen, and I'm here with my brilliant sidekick,
Nick Scubilety. Have to mood like I am.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Yeah, I'm a little I drove in today, so it
required more focus.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yeah, I think I may never do it again. It
was nice today. Anybody feel listen.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
To you Boom podcast over and over and here how
great you are, which is not what I did. I
made the mistake on the drive of listening. You have
to be careful of what you intake. Correct and guess
what I in took today on my drive. No, never
Jackerys and they're not a sponsor. Fuck them because they
never sent me anything free. Yeah, but I made the
(02:24):
mistake of listening to a two parter on a cult escapee. Now,
this is a depressing subject, so you gotta I gotta
be careful and monitor what I'm listening to. Did you did?
Did you listen to something harrowing? Also?
Speaker 3 (02:38):
No, just music at a low volume.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
See that's better.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
What was the cult?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Oh, fundamentalist Christian cult? And it was such a great podcast,
And of course after episode one, I noticed my neck
really hurts and my back hurts, and I'm tense and
I just can't wait for I'm like, I'm not listening
to episode two, but you have to because episode two
is the one where she escapes, because I want to
have some hope that she escaped. And then she escaped
(03:04):
and it wasn't worth the payoff?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Why not? Wasn't good?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I mean it was great, but it still made me depressed.
I'm like, bitch, how you get involved with that shit
in the first place. Nobody's trying to put me in
a call. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I feel you. She escaped and now she works here.
What's up Celia?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh she's our former trad wife, Celia Seljia. I could
I just call you Selja to give it a Hispanic flare? Absolutely?
I enjoy that. Yes, you know that's that's actually a
Hispanic name. Well listen, don't be racist, all right, stop
being racist.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
She escapes the racist I know well.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
That that happens. That's the trajectory of all of them.
But I love how our podcast starts off as being
one thing and now it's not about anything. I decided
I'm really exhausted after one episode. I'm quitting. It's It's
it people. I hope you enjoy our two parter.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
About escaping I escaped.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
The cult of Elvis Durande I did. He said to me,
do a podcast, and I said, damn you, I'll do two,
two episodes that is, but I'm bumped. No sound effects, guy,
I don't get a sound effects guy effects.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
No hit a cool button.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I wish I could at least the penis sound. I
want to hear that week. Please. Of course, I'll get
a button just for it, like a little splurt, even
though I haven't heard a splurt in a while. Thank god,
I right now listen. Speaking of not splurting. That's our
subject today because we got a lot of letters about
(04:51):
people who well, I will actually preface this with a
story of my own me personally, I feel like I
have a strong belief that the worst thing that happened
in my life was I got the flu. But not
for the reasons you will think it is. Once you
get the flu, oh my god, you get to have
(05:13):
a loane time. It's like forced by yourself. You're with
your three little dogs, You're on a couch, you're laying
a certain way, and yes you're shitting and throwing up,
but it's a small price to pay for the fact
that you can't lift your head up. No one will
call you, you don't have to respond to anything. So
I had such forced alone time for like a week
(05:36):
that I was like, oh shit, now I want it
all the time. I'm fantasizing about the flu. So that's
not good. It just shows me I shouldn't have to
get sick, like literally sick and sick and tired of
being sick and tired got it like we It just
shouldn't have to be sick to take the time to
not respond to anybody and to just be by myself.
(05:58):
Can you relate to this?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
In September I got COVID.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, and I was.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Home for five days.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Best days of your life.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
And by the once like the fever and the shaking
and the chills went.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I was like looking like lightly looking at work from
home jobs. I was like, this is realy nice.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
It's hard though, because you're a personal trainer who could
be found at by the way Nick scopes what is it?
And what on?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
All on all the plant and all.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
The stupid things they're also yeah, farmers only tradwives, you
could be a tradi dot com. Yeah, brandos only do
But like, isn't it just the best to not have
(06:46):
to deal with? But also it's because do you think
it's because we frontload our lives so much, with so
much to do, that we drive ourselves to need alone time.
When we all wes should do is admit we need
it and then we don't have to get sick to
take it. It's ridiculous. It's like, what's the point. What's
(07:10):
the point of this driving and striving and doing more.
I wrote an entire play last year about doing less
and I don't. And by the way, writing a play
is a lot of work, so you do more inherently.
But once I'm done with this play, I'll do less.
And it's like, wow, what was the lesson in writing
seventy five pages of do less? It was that I'm
(07:32):
still doing too much. And it's not by anybody else's
else's standards. It's not as much as a mom with kids,
or as much as a guy who's running around and
like dating or doing this and has a job. I
just do too much for me. I think I just
don't admit that I need just shutting off. Sometimes.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I agree. I you know, I go back and forth
on this subject all the time because I do love
my alone time. But at the same time, when I
do take off from work or I have time to myself,
it's cool for like an hour or two, or like
a day or two, and then I start to get
like I gotta do something, yeah, or then even work.
(08:11):
I know, for me, like this week was a really
busy week for me, I'll get too comfortable, yes, and
like I almost like I got to rush through everything
to get to my downtime. It's like I struggle with
this a lot. I go back and forth, and I
really don't know what the answer is.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I don't know the answer because you would think by
my age sixty three, you know that they go proud
senior citizen. I'm a proud and I'm not a silver
single who let their hair go gray. Shut up fucking
Collie anyway. I yeah, It's like I don't want to
tip into I heard a quote I'm too old to
(08:48):
act old. It's like I don't want to tip into
the old lady who never leaves the shoe. You never
leave the house, because like old ladies when they're eighty,
there's a lot of them are super happy to just
stay home and they'll go to like church and bingo.
And that was my mom. She was like, twice out
(09:08):
of the house a week is enough, and like, yes,
does she get to be the judge of what's enough
for her? Yes? But to me that feels scary. The
idea of not having something to do at least five
six days a week makes me feel like I'm going
to tip into the other extreme. So I think there's
like the two extremes. There's like the I need all
the alone time and I'm sorry, but guess I have
(09:30):
no patience for and I don't care if anybody even
hates me after this. The I am socially anxious. I
don't like going to parties. Just ask me to go
somewhere and I'll just say no. It's like, well, then
I'm glad you have no friends dialogue exactly. There's that extreme,
and then there's the oh my god, I just have
(09:51):
to do and do and do and do. So I
don't know where the balance is only a parent when
like we're sick, like when we go, oh, I've finally
balance it out. I had three days at home to myself,
and now I get to go three days out.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Yeah, now you don't have it. It's when you don't
have a choice. Yeah, I have to make the decision.
Because every time I've like been chilling and I've chose
to like go somewhere and do something, it's never been bad.
It's always been like, oh that was fun.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
But also, you and I have this thing where we're
high energy. So we'll never go to a place and
be half asked about it. We're not I wouldn't say
life of the party all the time, but we'll bring
it fully. We won't go and go look, I'm just
gonna like be mellow at your house, Like if I
don't bring the right energy, like I'm sorry, No, we
just go and we go full out.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yeah. I think I was just gonna say that. It's
trying to like we feel like we have to be on.
I know you can't just go and show up and
being because I've gone places a little MOPy or tired and.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
They're like, what's wrong? You're usually okay, I'm Nick you
doing okay?
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Nick? I noticed something. Is it the fact that you
own have a girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Maybe is it the.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Way game like they have to then plod and asked
you what's wrong? Like it's like, dude, I just was
like being me. Do you think actually we're even supposed
to be up up up all the time when we're
out in these situations bringing ourselves as our true self
might look different than we think.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Yeah, I think, I mean do you think that like people?
Because well, especially for you, like I know for me
and my friend group, but because you are who you are,
I think people expect you to be a certain way
when they meet you, and they're probably like if you
have any bit of lull that like you want to
be on and good to go, and you always show
up to shit, you don't. I never cancel, you never can.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I can't do two things. And it was because it
was way back a few months ago over the holidays,
because of again being sick. Yeah, and when my dog Parker,
like I mean it was it's not a blessing, but
like I went home one day and like his two
back legs were like faced in like he's in a pla.
He was in position five ballet because he had like
(11:56):
a disc problem, And I was like, oh my god,
I'm so sad for the dog. And thank god it
got fixed. I'm like, oh my god, I get to
stay home with him. If you it is a true
friend who will say yes, stay home with your dog.
And if they don't say yes, stay home with your dog,
then that's not a good friend. You just cross them
off the list. Ye. So yeah that it's like those
(12:20):
things converge and you're all of a sudden like, oh,
I'm allowed to stay home. Yeah I'm not bring that.
But but other than that, I rarely cancel.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
That's never. But I even want to, like I find
this for our like our diner nights when it's like me,
you and the other two comics.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, we go together once a week and like talk.
We ostensibly started this as a writing group, but none
of us wants to write anything. Somebody's that we sit
around and make fun of the two Greek owners exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
And I always want but like for those times like
it should be chill, right, just and it is chill.
It's so fun. I enjoy it. But I'm always like, oh,
maybe I should like take a nap before tonight, like
just to be ready, like because bring it, yeah, just
to bring it in and have fun and be good
to go, like I always like make sure, like I
like to, I get out of work early on Tuesdays,
go home, I chill, I have like dinner a little bit,
like a light dinner, and then I go to the diet,
(13:05):
like want to have a nice downtime, set.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
It up nice.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Yeah, before I hate that, I'm like that, but I'm like, oh,
I have a little downtime and then go it's weird.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Our other two guys, Our other two friends, Bo and Andrew.
It is never questioned if either one of them are
in like sort of a down mood or more mellow
or whatever, because they're just allowed to be full human beings.
But I think me and you, it's like we have
to bring it. Yeah, And I don't like that about myself.
I love I would love to be like boring. Yeah,
(13:34):
And you know, people listening to this podcast are like,
you are, don't worry about it, no, But I like
want to be just with family. It's tough too, because
I have a family. One half of my family is
super heightened. My sister's side of the family. They bring
it there loud, They're always playing games, which I love
all that stuff. So I feel this pressure that I'm
(13:54):
going to be the boring one, and they're going to
be like, are you okay? My sister? I love her,
her biggest heart in the world, but the two things
she says it drives me nuts. Are are you okay?
And when I tell her something good happens, she goes,
good for you. I'm like, I'm not the special needs
bagger at the grocery store, but a good for you
(14:17):
sounds very sort of insulting, but I don't I know
she doesn't mean it that way. So but around family,
I feel like, oh, I have to present well. It's
so hard to even say I'm okay and have them
sort of accept it. So that's why I think the
alone time for us is like, oh wow, we get
to not pretend anything.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
But the the other side of it is if I
go two days and realize I have not spoken words
out loud, like I've done that where I'm like, oh
my god, all I've said all day is who's a
good boy? No, like, who's a good boy, who's a
good girl. We're all trees to get my dog to
(15:05):
Parker to come to me. I have to trees, like,
you can't even say it normalous They respond to like
voice sounds, I guess, and I'm like, I have not
spoken a word. And I also like, just real quick, like,
are you I think we're both considered extroverts.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Correct, I guess, I.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Know, but I think we have a little, you know,
introverted need. Also like, there's also a little need for
introversion sometimes, and we shouldn't drive ourselves into being ill
to get this job done. But yet, what's the fear
by the way of actually, okay, I'm feeling totally well,
(15:45):
I'm one hundred percent like right now we're taping the podcast.
I was in a terrible mood because of my back, neck,
thighs and other issues. But I said, you know what
I got the podcast gets me in a good mood,
which proves extraversion. I love that the energy is up.
But the idea of going home after and like just
(16:06):
canceling the dinner, oh god, it's even uncomfortable, say, canceling
on a dinner. I can't say. Two good friends, I
love them, I want one of them's leaving for Florida
for like months to do a show, so I'm like, oh, yeah,
my last chance to see him before he goes the
idea of canceling it makes me so uncomfortable because the
(16:27):
story I tell in my head is I'm Lisa. I
don't cancel, but maybe I'm Lisa who sometimes has to cancel.
Like we construct these artificial identities for ourselves. Oh, I'm
the person who always dot dot dot. I'm the person
who always you know what, I shed one of those.
I'm the person who quote always brings something when I'm
(16:49):
invited to a party. Fuck you. You come to my
house a lot and you never bring anything. I'm not
bringing anything to your house, so I have to deconstruct.
I'm always the person who shows up, maybe to my
detriment if I'm tired. So are you a canceler? Ever?
Not really? I know you a lot more.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
This is a small percentage, but I will tell you this.
I have a weird if I do cancel something, I
have this weird like almost like fomo.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Oh see you get that.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Not not fomo, but I'm like the only thing that
I've canceled the most, probably honestly, is dates. Sometimes we're like,
I'm like, it's Friday night, or you said yes to
something earlier in the week and it's for me Friday night.
When it's Friday night and work's done. Yeah, I don't
know what it is, but my body's like, it's.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Beautiful to stay on a Friday. It's doesn't feel like
you're cheating life. Also, I would say on behalf of
every girl you canceled on for dates, you've done a service.
They are thanking you. They've saved themselves from getting not
up from by some wap guinea bastard who won't watch
any shows. Others say say, I, no, don't edit that.
(18:01):
I'm perfection.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
I don't know about you, but there's times where I
look forward to a day where I don't have anything.
Love it right. The morning comes, it's slow, it's nice
the first few hours. Then I feel like I gotta
do something m and then I do something for a while,
and then the long story of it is it takes
me a while to settle in to do it. Yes, nothing.
(18:24):
And I want to know if you were the same
way or if you're like, nah, I'm chilling, because it
takes me, like to like three pm to be like okay,
we can relax.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
We will like settle into it.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
To the day of doing like nothing, you know what
I mean, maybe an errand or two, but like, it
takes me a while to settle.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
H I think I've just had more practice at it.
So when I get up, I don't even set that alarm,
and I'm just like, you get up. When you get up,
those freaking dogs will eat whenever I get to them.
Nobody's dying in this house. It's fine. So it doesn't
take me much settling in time anymore. But I remember
when I used to go on vacation. There was this
really fancy spot I used to go to when I
(19:01):
thought I was a big shot, and they all said,
it's gonna take you three days to get into the
mindset of this place, for you to let go of work,
for you, let go of your like family obligations. So
I see how that could translate into just if you
have one day, it's gonna take you like a third
of it just to gear up into it. So my
advice to you, even though you didn't ask, because I'm
(19:23):
always about giving advice when I'm not asked, like, don't
set the alarm and allow yourself to if you know
you know what, I'm gonna break this. I'm gonna go
like grab coffee. I'm gonna like go to Duncan Dundas
I'm gonna go and you know, take a walk, be
like okay, well I'm allowed to do that. So nothing
I don't think means laying down the whole day, even
(19:46):
though that's the goal. I think like the oh, I
allowed myself to do that thing, and even though it
doesn't look strictly like nothing, it's still fine. Yeah, you know,
I think for me, it's just like, oh, I don't
want to interact with people for that day. I just
want to be like, oh, I can just never say
words out loud that aren't treat which is how I
(20:08):
call Parker and you. Okay, So next, who wrote to us?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Let's see? We have a letter here, Yes, from Chase
Chase Range, Illinois.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Sounds gay.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
I'm in he probably is. Let's see, okay, Lisa, I
am thirty four years old, single guy gay. These are
my letters I wrote. Why are you keep putting these
in here?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
You name your kid Chase? Come on, he's gonna be
chasing Dick. And it's I mean, it is what it is, Chase.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
It's also spelled c h a ce.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Oh wait, It'sasse. Get the hell out of I'm joking.
Of course, I don't have any idea, but Yeshase.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
So I'm a thirty four year old single guy. Gay
love you by the way. I love interacting with people
and socializing, but I'm simply lazy all caps. H. I
also feel quite satisfied with my relationship to the real Housewife.
Oh no, oh boy just took a turn. Their drama
(21:28):
and shit talking is enough to fill my cup and
my butt. No, that's here's the problem. I do not
want to die alone. I feel like I need to
be seeking a partner since I am not getting any younger.
But like I said, I am lazy all caps again.
Love you bie, Okay caps exclamation points.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Very good, They're rather to be exclamation boys after that.
I think Chase is very judgmental of himself. And the
reason I say this is there's abs I I've rarely
met anyone who's quote lazy. That's such a judgy word.
People say I'm going to take a day and like
do nothing at home. I'm so lazy. It's like, no,
(22:11):
you're not. You're human and we're human being, not a
human doing. I know that's a cliche, but it's true.
You know, and you've never been to a twelve step meeting. Uh,
but lazy is such a judgment on yourself. So I
think it's first of all, Chase, if I may call
you that, watch how you talk about yourself. Because I
(22:33):
never liked when, like Nick, you've done this where you're like, oh,
I'm so stupid or I'm so dumb. It's like, first
of all, if you're saying it, you're probably not it.
Like it's the people who go, am I a narcissist?
Oh my god, I hope I'm not an narcissist. Of
course you're not, because you're questioning it. I guarantee you
Chase isn't lazy, but maybe is overly judgmental on the
(22:54):
time that he's spending by himself. Also, the one place
I'm going to judge check is how about we subtract
the drama of the Real housewives and then add actual
people in yeah, who don't come complete with drama, but
will invariably have some drama.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
There's no one I'm friends with who hasn't had a
tiny bit of dramatic content just because that's how we live.
Someone has somebody dying, someone has a sick dog, somebody
has a bald head and tits. Nick, And this is
what happens. So that's enough dramatic content. And also then
it's called living because it seems really weird to be
(23:36):
so wrapped up in drama that doesn't really exist for you,
Like those aren't people who are serving you? And ask yourself?
Are you protecting yourself from interaction with others and getting
that little fix from people who don't know you on
a television It's like watching the Sopranos and thinking we're
(23:57):
friends with them, even though I think you and I
probably are friends with them in our minds. Yeah, oh totally,
they would so hang out with us, Like I mean,
I'm like Eadie Falco's sister. I think anyway, maybe your mom.
So yeah, I mean, what do you think? Do you
to me? He sounds like it's I'm initially like chuckle
(24:17):
is his letter, But then I'm like, I'm a little
sad that he calls himself names like that.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah, he's just dealing with some stuff on the inside there.
I think step one is stop watching the Real Housewives.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I mean yeah, I mean, well, I remember when I
did The Celebrity Apprentice, and this is of course before
Trump became anything. It was just like a fun show
to do that'll be silly. It turned me so off
to do to watching any kind of reality show because
I'm like, that's not real. Everybody's fake, it's bullshit, and
(24:48):
you get so heyight in watching it. Like I if
I'm going to watch a good drama on TV, say
it's like a Handmaid's Tale or something like that, you're
just like, Oh, it's worth it because of the art
of it. But watching these other things, it like just
get you keyed up and makes you think you know
people you don't.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah, awful people. Yeah, truly, it's the worst. I Mean.
The thing that gets me with his letter is he said,
I feel like I need to be seeking a partner
all that getting any younger. And I've gone back and
forth on this. I've asked a therapists about this brad
or guy, you know, I feel like he says, I
(25:25):
feel like I need to be seeking a partner, And
I always think do I like, do you need to
actively be looking and the apps and doing this and
making yourself go out or are you just like doing
stuff that makes you happy and as you live through
life you meet that person, Like, what's the answer is it? Like, No,
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
As a single goal who's dated both in the era
of apps and things like that. Plus the old fashioned
way when they would drive up to your farm and
a horse and buggy and would trade your father would
trade you for two goats the sheep, and that's pretty
good price for me. I gotta tell you, I honestly,
(26:05):
in my gut, I feel like just living life and
seeing what happens, because then you're just open to things.
And that's where all good ideas come from, is just
having some And again that's alone time. It's going. I'm
allowing myself to live my life alone and still look outward.
You can still walk down the street by yourself, but
(26:26):
not have your eyes and your phone or to the ground.
You can still be looking outward and be open, but
you don't have to be actively like searching and striving
sound like they will never get you the results you want.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah, I mean, that's the best example I can think
of right off the top of my head. Is like
the New Year's resolutioners, oh terrible. Never like when you
go from just you know, fucking off for lack of
a better word, the last four months of the year,
you've been drinking and going to parties and eating sugar,
and now you're like, all right, no carbs and no
alcoholics extreme, gonna go here and guess what. More times
(27:02):
than not you're gonna say relapse, but you're gonna it's
gonna come back.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Right, So it's like if you're going out, say he
he he has a he's motivated one day and he
flips the script. Yeah, I'm gonna done being lazy. I'm
gonna go out and I'm gonna chase men. I'm gonna
pull my ween around and do all this stuff turned.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Him into a bottom.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
I'm just bottom. Probably think we're gonna ask me, I'm
gonna m find out. But if he flips the script
and he's like, I'm gonna go hard, like New Year's
Resolution style and go into it. And then if he's
disappointed or like things aren't going his way and he's like, oh,
I'm just gonna go back to what I was doing,
and then he'll go deeper into what he was already
doing as opposed to like, hey, maybe once a week.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Well it's once a week go to a bar. Yeah,
it's go with the flow. You. If no one has
ever gotten burnt out on anything, if they just want
with the flow. True, so you've never like been but
I used to think it was great to be driven
and to strive and to find a calm plishment. And
it's just like, I don't know. I mean, every friend
(28:03):
I've kind of met in the past, you know, twenty years,
has been just because you happen to go someplace and
you vibed and you got it. Was like, I'm going
to actively seek friendships. God damn it, I'm going to
this connection group and we are going to all do
a forced hike together. Like, by the way, yeah, don't
don't ever name physical activity for me, but yeah, I
(28:25):
think poor Chase I would be like, Also, thirty four
is to me not in quote danger of dying alone.
And that's a little young to be dramatic, but I
get it. That's where he is. Housewives, Yep, they sure have.
And you know what it is to dying alone. Guess what, Chase?
(28:46):
Everyone dies alone. Like if you could have a wife
sitting there, you're still alone in your death. Like there's
just the reality. I think it's acceptance that and not
in a fatalistic depressing way. Man, We're all gonna die
alone and that's okay. And I have to accept that
my body's gonna slow down. I'm gonna you know, getting
(29:07):
an acceptance of these inevitable things really free you up
to be more inflow and meet people and be present
and be in conversation and not have it forced. Does
that make sense to you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:18):
I think like also too. And I've done this in
the past, where like, say you're on a dating app
and you get a match and you're excited about it,
and you're like, oh, I get a match and like
maybe it doesn't pan out, or like they're not responsive
or x y Z or like you get excited about
all these opportunities, but then say they fall through and
you just start going down the other way versus like
you know, you're waiting for them to respond. It's like
(29:40):
it's just like a constant Yeah. I mean, hey, like,
are they gonna get back to me? Is this gonna?
Is this the one? Is this the Meanwhile? If you
just lived your life and do stuff you live your life,
you kind of This is something that my therapist told me,
was like people just kind of are attracted to like
you and.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
What you're doing, your energy, you're vibe.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Yeah, you got your own shit. You're not like, Hey,
what do you like a puppy dog following them around?
Be like you like me? You like me? You got
your own shit going on? Yeah, they find that attractive
if they like you, great.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
So I think Chase should get out of the house
once twice a week. Yeah, get rid of the real
house while I stop watching some real dramatic stuff. So
you could talk to someone about something other than those
bitchy queens and just don't be so hard on yourself.
Don't call yourself lazy. We'll do that for you. Do
you have another letter? We do this, bitch.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
We have a lady.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Oh, or, as we like to be called, a bit
clams clams. Yes, Melissa from New Rochelle, Oh, New York, Okay,
where my grandmother lived. Oh really, God, rest the soul.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Oh God, she had a penthouse.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Arleen had it going on. I'm keeping my first don't
damp my jewelry a way she's.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
That is literally, I think the ghost of her just
went inside of you.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I'm telling you those women all wanted to keep their
jewelry away from one particular cousin who was mean to them.
She didn't call me on yours poort aponted the anniversary
and now she's dead to make give my sapphires.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Sorry, it's true. Melissa from New Rochelle, New York. I'm
gonna talk like this, Okay, Dear Lisa. First off, I'm
a huge fan and also have an ex husband with
big balls done that.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
That's a good reason for a long time. By the way, boy,
living alone, I never have to be in danger that
two disco balls are gonna hit me in the naggin
pretty big. Okay, Okay, let's.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Come back to that. But now I live alone in
New York City and I absolutely love it, having my
sex and the city mom. The thought of going out
after a long workday is not appealing in any way.
But with friends wanting to get together, I'm struggling with
how to balance my love of being alone with the
(32:12):
pressure to be social and keep friendships alive. What do
you recommend? Thanks in advance.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I mean, it sounds like she's killing it. I mean
like Chase is the fucking idiot. It sounds like like
the she says balance, here's the problem with balance. You're not.
You only start talking about balance when you're out of it.
Then you notice it and you're like, oh shit, I
felt so in balanced yesterday what happened. So I think
(32:40):
it's like kind of going maybe setting up a loose
sort of network of Like, Okay, my loose schedule is
I always take Friday night and Sunday to like do
nothing and be by myself. But Saturday, you know, do
something with friends or do something with family. It's not
having this sort of all or nothing. I think the
(33:01):
big problem with people is it's either all or nothing.
And that's the problem with classifying ourselves even though we
all do it as introverts or extroverts, because no, I
always need to be alone, I always need to be
with people. No, like it has to be balanced somehow.
So I mean, I don't think she sounds like Sah.
First of all, she's from New Rochelle and she finally
escaped it and lives in New York City. I mean,
(33:23):
enjoy it and don't. By the way, those of you
who live in New York City, trust me. I lived
in New York for years. Never once went to a museum,
never once went to Central Park and laid out there
like some Mama luke who thinks it's their backyard. I
never once went to a trendy singles BA called Adam
Zappa or Adam's rib something. Those were the days when
(33:43):
we would go to the singles BAS. You'd sit up
there with your martini and your Donna Karen rap dress,
and the men would come up and early, lady, how
you doing looking for it to good BA. But never
did any of that stuff, so she's probably having her
little moment.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
It sounds awesome. My first thought, like, this is the
women I date. She has an ex husband with big balls.
I could fill the space.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Always get rid of the ex husband with big balls.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
That's right. And she's like, now I live in New
York City alone and absolutely love it. You're single and
you're living in New York City.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah, again, what.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Seems to be a night one night.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
You know what she needs to do is set up,
set up. See this is where you're doing to get
horny and try to bang the listeners. Listen, people, I'm
trying to protect you. If you're a woman or a
gay man out there, don't bang that. It's always a
road to trouble. But we'll talk about emotional unavailability in
a different podcast episode. Yes, that is not even make sense.
(34:47):
You just got obsessed with wicked six months ago, I
don't know, I know you're gay. Now. I think she
and Chase should actually hook up and like switch a lot.
I don't even hook up physically because he's he's a
gay and like kind of she should educate him a
little in like connecting. But like there's too much pressure
in New York though, to do things. I do find
(35:09):
that's that where the balance gets tipped, where you're like
every night there's like a cool restaurant or a cool bar,
a cool opening of something, and it's just like, eh,
the beauty is. I remember once when I was sitting
I had been invited to a like a movie premiere
of some I don't know, it was a big deal.
It was a Jim Carrey movie or something. And I
was literally I said no because I didn't feel those
(35:31):
things fed my soul anymore. And I was literally across
the street in a diner watching people, and I was like, oh,
that's the thing I was supposed to go to. I've
never been happier sitting alone by myself in a diner.
So you like you notice the times when you are
kind of like making the right choice of like, oh,
being around those people wasn't feeding it. Being alone did so.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
I don't know, man, Yeah, this is like I want
to like help her, but it seems like life's going
pretty good.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
It seems like that's a humble brag letter. Yeah, I'm
living in New York my life. I mean, like what
seems to what is there a kernel of something in
it that sounds tragically?
Speaker 3 (36:08):
I mean the line I thought of going out after
a long day of work is not appealing anyway.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yeah, yeah, I think that's something you got to just
accept about yourself. By the way, save it for the weekend. Now,
the problem is then you're going to try to stuff it.
That's where the balance problem will come in, where you
s'll try to stuff it all into the weekend and
then hates the weekends. So maybe it's going one day
a week, I'm going to go for drinks with the
(36:34):
girlies there, go and watch a Real Housewives with the
girl with the gal pals. I don't know what girls do.
I think that's what they do. I probably correct. She
is definitely not. Maybe I think Celia is a potential
scissorer from way back, way back. Yet yes, no, but
(37:03):
I think it's like basically, take one night a week,
fall on the sword and be like, I gotta make
something happen one night a week. Then take your Saturday
or your Friday, and then allow yourself. I think all
of this is like allowing yourself to be yourself and
find your own balance and stop questioning what's right for
you on the inside and doesn't have to look like
(37:25):
a TV show. That's probably probably why I never went
to any trendy things or went to museums or anything,
because I didn't feel it on the inside. It was like, well,
I'm should be going. Anytime you're saying should, it's probably
a don't right.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Yeah, I like to fall on the sword thing. I
think that's what you should do, so you should do Melissa,
fall on the sword, sit on the sword. My nickname
in high school is excaliburs.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
You know what I'm saying, so we don't. Could you
please explain that it sounds very inter resting out of a.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Rock and fight another army.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I think that's wow, someone's taking Shakespeare class. Listen. I
think we've been helpful to Chase. I think Melissa has
done some gentle bragging and we kind of hate her
a little bit now, and you're gonna date her? Uh
if you have a question for me, make sure to
email us us shrink this show at gmail dot com.
(38:20):
That I was gonna spell it, but I'm like, really,
could you like spell it without wait? See if you
could spell it Nick without looking down? Because you got
what was your GPA in college?
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (38:30):
College was good? What collge? We were at a three? Even?
Remember what was your school?
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Personality? Yes, look, dude, Celia's faces.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I know it's pretty crazy. So try to spell shrink
this show at Gmail without.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
Looking s h R I N hey t h s
s h W.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Every week I like to show that you know Lisa
Lampinelli despite my famed fortune. In general, overall, Jones Sequa
are absolutely imperfect, just like the rest of you.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Am.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I less imperfect than most of you, duh obvi, but
I still make mistakes. And this is when I told
my friend Andrew Ginsberg about because whenever I do something bad,
I try to confess to you because they hold you accountable. No,
just because I feel I could be open. Now, Nick,
tell me please if you can relate to this. It
(39:41):
was a very busy day on the road. It's very
a lot of traffic, A lot of people wanted to
get a certain place at a certain time, and heck, yeah,
I'm one of them two right, and there I am
in my I don't like to brag twenty ten Lexus
SUV with my three hundred and sixteen thousand mile because
I feel at heart, you know, I'm the gal who
(40:03):
drives a car into the ground. I'm a gal who,
like my dad or my mom, has that work ethic, like, man,
we're gonna buy that car, and we're gonna get everything
out of it. I remember once having a freaking car,
Chevy Chavette in my first car when I was in
my twenties, and I didn't get rid of it until
the window broke, so you had to put like plastic
(40:25):
on it. And my mother, in all her inemitable power
and lightness of being, said, you look like a Puerto Rican. Really,
that's why I figure better get that change. So I
like a car that I drive into the ground, but
it still looks good. Lexus has never looked bad. Yeah,
so I'm driving, But I've always said to myself, this
car doesn't really suit me. I have Toyota personality. I'm
(40:50):
raised like a human. I'm raised lower middle class. We
didn't have tons, we had to take our student loans,
so we were thank god privileged enough to go to college.
But very basic folk. I'm very dunkin donuts. I'm basic
as fuck. So at heart, I know I'm a Toyota
person driving Alexis. But now we're in the heavy traffic
(41:10):
day I referenced and some guy. I know it was
a guy because I'm assuming. I'm sure he was white,
because I'm assuming that too, because all white men are terrible, right.
He literally cuts me off so close. And I rarely
get scared on the road. I always say my two
talents ever were driving and comedy. That's all I can do,
(41:33):
so I never really get that scared. He cuts me
off like within an inch, and I was like ugh,
And the first oh my god, it's so evil. The
first thought that comes to my mind as I watch
him drive in front of me. I don't even beat
the horn. I don't do anything outward. It's all my
internal fuck up, which is huh, enjoy your fucking Nissan, asshole.
(42:00):
Even saying it, I'm so grossed out because it's such
a like rich people asshole move. And again, yet did
I do it anything outward?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
No?
Speaker 2 (42:10):
I didn't beep. I didn't follow him. I didn't roll
down the windows. I've always said I have rage everywhere,
but the road I've never because it's just too much
at stakes. It's very really scary. It's too much a
stake when you're driving. But the first thought was I'm
better than you because I drive this fucking car and
you're a piece of shit. No guarantee you. He's a
(42:31):
piece of shit for all different reasons. It's not a
Nissan because guess what this is how God got me
back A mere two weeks later, Fucking Lexus starts shaking
in the front boo. I'm like, after only three hundred
and sixteen thousand miles, how dare you? And do you
(42:55):
know what I took it in? They had me convinced
I have to buy a new car, and I said,
you know what your penance and your practice is now.
You gotta go back and buy the car that's really you.
You gotta buy Toyota. No, not a Nissan. They're kind
of the same, they are they have just our family's
(43:19):
a Toyota family. And I was like, this is the
Universe's way of teaching me that that little part of
my ego that's still attached to things is just not
something I need anymore. I need to be driving around
in a regular car like a regular person, because that's
who I am internally, and legit is alexis better than
(43:42):
a Toyota. Maybe it has a little more pickup, maybe
it's more roomy. Whatever it is, I'm not fancy. So
go back to your roots. Get a Toyota, Lisa, and
see how that feels. And it does feel a little weird,
I know. Well, luckily Angel intervened as part three of
the story. My mechanic ended up fixing the lexus, so
(44:06):
I get to push off my ego issues until my
lexus truly breaks down. But I did talk to my
shrink about going to that judgment with that guy, and
she says, I think the most uncomfortable thing for you
to do, which is obviously when we're uncomfortable, there's the
best growth is going to be getting the car you wait,
(44:30):
the car you need, versus the car car you want.
And I think that car is going to be a
fucking toy owner. Yeah it is, so, I mean I
think those so I like when I have a fuck
up that actually drives me to work on an issue.
You know, I like that. I thought it and owned it,
(44:50):
and it was embarrassing to say it. The first time
I told our friend Andrew, I was so embarrassed because
he's like a Volvo driver. But he's a basic guy
too at heart, He's he's like just us. I think,
my dirty Italian self someday have to just buy a Toyota.
But I'm not getting a fucking Camra. I like them,
but they're too small. I just feel like I'm and
(45:14):
also like to Mike pull down my own veil. I'm
getting older and uh getting in and out of one
of those fucking back seats. No, yeah, you gotta have
an issuvou because I'm always making out, as you know,
constantly having the sex in the car. That is my
(45:35):
That's going to be my fuck up next week is
that I had the sex in a car. Can you
imagine ever paying for sex? No, that's for a different episode.
The only reason I thought, I was thinking, why would
I ever be in a backseat of a car. Probably
just be life. I drove up on some male hooker
just happened to be standing there. Hey, hey, sailor, you
(45:57):
want to hop in the back of my Toyota? I
mean it could happen.
Speaker 3 (46:02):
I hope it does happen.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
I do. I did have a dream that I was
making out with a really hot guy in the back
of a truck. The others I don't know, some guy
supposedly from my past.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
You don't remember who was though, No, but he was hot.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
How hot?
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Are we talking?
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Like a little football player, not a big football player,
at a little tiny football player.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
A corner like a bottle head, a corner.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
This paper? Yeah with Nick, Oh my god, listen, we
gotta go. I've shown you my flaws. Next time we
speak you may be talking to Toyota driver. But for now,
thank god, my ego gets the lexus. All right, Yeah,
all right, So Nick, it's been a pleasure. Tell people
once again where they can find you.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
You could follow me on social media at nick scopes
like the Mouthwashed because I'm fresh and mintye.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
No, you're neither, And you can find me at Lisa
Klampa now Lisa Lampinelle. If you can't smell it, well,
then you don't deserve to borow. And please come back
again and hear our next episode of shrink This, and
make sure to send us your questions at shrinth This
show at gmail dot com at shrinthstop up timemalth dot
com and make sure to follow us on socials and
(47:18):
make sure to listen to shrink this on your iHeartRadio
app or wherever you get your podcasts, which should be
the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
With you, stupid
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