March 3, 2026 • 51 mins
In this episode of “Shrink This!,” Lisa is joined by her friend, comedian Beau McDowell, to talk about something people hate more than getting sober: accepting themselves as-is. From crooked teeth and body-image spirals to the delusion that fixing one thing will magically fix your whole life, they break down why the real work isn’t perfection—it’s acceptance. Beau opens up about getting sober, swapping addictions, and realizing that, even without booze, you’re still unfortunately you, while Celia chimes in as they get into why people obsess over tiny “flaws,” and why chasing a glow-up is often just avoiding the real issue. If you’ve ever thought, “once I fix this one thing, I’ll finally feel okay,” this episode is here to lovingly destroy that fantasy.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta I know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. This podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These You need help, You're the problems.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Come on, come on.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Go leam, take a pill. I think you're insane. Do
what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Hey, everybody,
it's your old pell Lisa Lampinelli, Oh my god, welcome
(00:51):
back to shrinks. We have a very unspecial episode with
someone who I don't think much of, and I was like, well,
sometimes you're gonna throw a guy a bone. You gotta
you gotta throw him a pity fuck in the form
of a podcast. So I have my good friend just
kidding by the no, not the friend part. I'm like,
relly friends with you. I'm invited to everything you do,
(01:14):
which is nothing. My good friend Beau McDowell's here bo
say hello hello because oh no, don't be a nick
I swear to god, I will oh fuck, oh god. Uh,
where can people find you on social media.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
You can find me at bau McDowell comedy. McDon what
Pau McDowell comedy you.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Said, because it sounds like you said bau McDowell of comedy,
Sir Beau McDowell of comedy. And trust me, if you've
seen his comedy, it ain't much comedy. It ain't that funny.
But you know what's funny, Yeah, this video thing you do. Look,
I'm no fan of watching funny shit because I'm so
funny I can't be bothered with the rest. But this
(02:04):
TikTok shit you do took off.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yeah, and it's it's a lot of it's from like,
you know, going to meetings, like when I was like
first getting sober, and just like the shit you like
make each other laugh within the meeting because it's like
you know, I mean, listen, AA is pretty easy room
to get a laugh because every everybody say, how you like.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Decided instead of playing comedy clubs, I'm gonna play it.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I mean, hey, you got got a lot of time,
you know you can. There's one every hour, right there is.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
That's what wild I always like, I won't pretend to
understand addiction. I sort of know basics about it, just
having dealt with codependency and food stuff. But boy, I
always feel like you guys in AA are pretty lucky
that there's resources in free.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Oh dude, constant, I mean, And like the funniest things
I've heard in my life. A lot of them come
out of a meeting because it's not intentional, you know,
like stand up. It's always a guy and he's.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
You know, I've been working up and down the coast, folks.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
You know you haven't exactly, but it's like when you
when you were sitting in a meeting and.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Some guys just being really honest. You know.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
It's like our buddy Andrew Ginsburg when we first met him,
and he's like talking about his marriage and you're like, dude,
I love the honesty. It makes you fucking laugh, you know,
and like the same ship with me. It's like I
when we talk about like ship that we do, that's
fucking stupid, like me eating the pizza at uh.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
We go into that bow. Not only got sober years ago,
he loved to transfer addictions. Gain like five hundred pounds
was as misshapen as you could imagine, nick, but three
times the size. And then like I'm sure you it
went to other areas, possibly gambling, other things. We get
into that so that happens. Realness is always funny when
(03:59):
it comes to those eatings and things. I once brought
a off tape, not a tape recorder, but like I
hit record during a share of mine once at a
codependant's anonymous meeting because I was like, I bet there's
material here. Oh dude, I didn't tape anybody else, like
that would be super immoral, but I was like, I'm
gonna take my share. I bet I'm kind of storytelling class.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Well, you also can't help it, like if someone's like, hey,
you get five minutes to talk, You're like, I got
a type.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I have a few things neck in there, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And well my friend Tracy, who goes to a lot
of alan On, she'd call me and she's so funny.
She's from stanton On. She knowels loose, cute. Then apartments.
That's good, but are you supposed to kill?
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Yeah? That's not how I were there. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
The first thing is to not be whatever you're going there,
to not be right.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Yeah, And it's like that's a fine line. Like I remember,
I remember like my first couple is like literally going
to meetings and like looking at whatever we were reading
and being like, all right, I can probably get a
few like I got I got a punchline here, punch there.
And then after a meeting one day, this guy was like, hey, man,
everyone likes you that they all think you're super funny,
and it's great because like, I mean, you're gonna die and.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Like this is about your life. Wow, and like.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
It's cool to everyone thinks you're funny, but like you're
probably not going to survive do what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
You immediately respond was wait, wait, wait, wait, let me wait, wait, wait,
let me get this straight. You think I'm funny?
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
It's like yeah, yeah, dude, that wasn't the point. No
wait wait wait so what what what did you like
that I did up there? It's like comics are so mental.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Exactly exactly which line was it? Because I've been working
on that.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yeah, I'm work shopping in a little bit. I even
went to Heroin and IMN, what is it?
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Yeah? Yeah, everyone's got to have their own thing.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, we have to. Well there's lots of them, which
I fully love. Dude, Yeah, straighten out one thing before
we go further. Yeah, okay, alcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, all
the ones. Yeah, it's supposed to be anonymous. It's not
supposed to be self promoting. In other words, you're not
(06:11):
supposed to go on say a podcast on iHeart and
say the words I go to AA. So do people
do that anymore? Do they respect that or do they
just say I'm in the program? Like are they vague?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I don't know, man, Like, honestly, you know when I
remember people being like really harsh about it, to the
point where they're like, you know, they would see people
like posting their coin on Instagram right right.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And by the way, for those of you who aren't
drunk and fall down douchebags who had a life and
parents who loved you and didn't give you bloody Mary's
to wake you up, a coin is something you would
get if you reached a month of sobriety a day.
Sometimes we have such low standard.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
It's one day.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, so you get a little coin, But I didn't
notice the coins. They're real shitty at for so one hour,
coins like plastic like looks from the worst casino in
the Midwest. But then they get to be where they're
like brass, oh beautiful and so anyway, so people would
post their coins, that would people get pissed off?
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yeah, well people would be like, oh, you're breaking you know, anonimity,
Like that's breaking an a tradition, an a tradition. And
it's like, yeah, you know, the fear there is that
someone's going to post their coin or they're like talk
about their sobriety, and then people will start to follow
that person and be like oh, like like you know
the AA works because of bo McDowell, right, well.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Which is why I'm fine.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Yeah, and like and then if obviously something happens where
you know, a guy goes out and drinks a bunch
of booze after like building this, you know, like a
Mark Maron would be a good example, like everyone kind
of knows he goes to AA.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I didn't till now, but thanks.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Well good, I'm breaking it.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
But no, but it's it doesn't talk about it. It doesn't
make himself the higher power.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
No, he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
And it's like if if he ends up having some
struggles and has a relapse or something, you know, it's
it's on like the public to be like okay, well
that's not like AA's fault, right right, Like he this
is something that happens in the journey of an alcoholic,
right right, And like we you know, it shouldn't disprove
(08:23):
AA being a good thing, right right, just because that happens.
So it's you know, for me, I'm like, yeah, I'm
not trying to I'm not trying to like promote AA
or even me.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
In that way.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
It's just like, yeah, man, this is what I've been through.
And if you need help, don't call me, go go
figure out.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
So if someone was to call you for help, you'd
be like here's a list of meetings. You wouldn't say
I'll get on the phone with you or I'll talk
to you or whatever unless you sponsor that.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Right, And like this is you know, when I was
new in recovery, I was like, you know, give me
a call straight and y out because.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Because ego, Yeah, dude, you get the big.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Ego hit of like, oh they're calling me, I'm helping
all these people.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I'm pretty much, you know, like smartest guy.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Helpful, ever, ruggedly, handsome, beef.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Yeah, the christ.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
I'd like this. There's a podcast called it's a really
big podcast called Sounds Like a cult, and every time
they do an episode, it's about something that has little
culti vibes, so or is it? And at the end
they vote is it actually a cult? So if they
they'll do like Starbucks, Stanley Cupps anything, And they did
a twelve step one and ends up it has very
(09:33):
few culty qualities, but a could tip into culty if
they start worshiping the person instead of the program or
even having any sort of worship at all.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, well that was my beef with like a Russell Brand,
where like he wrote his own book that your only.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Beef with Russell Brand didn't help.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Well, we're talking about this pre right, yeah, pre right.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
But he wrote a book and he was like he
rewrote all of the steps and they were like hey, man,
like it doesn't take Like that's not smart to be like,
you know step one, unfunck yourself. You're like, oh, it's genius. Wow,
Like you basically just reworded a bunch of shit and
then was like, yeah, you can follow me now, and
it's like, well that's fucked up. Like you got help
(10:19):
from a thing and now you're trying to become the thing.
Like that's a serious god complex and you're a scumback,
you know, so like shit like that really bothers me.
And that's where I think the tradition can really get broken,
is when people start to put themselves above the you know,
the thing that helped them right. And I know I
would never do that, you know, but I'm I'm more
(10:40):
like if someone calls, like, there is that ego hit
and you do want to be worse, you know, I
got some ideas for you, you know, and like you
don't really know. Like the more longer I'm sober, the
more I realize I don't really know shit, and so
many people are dealing with so many like every everybody's
experience is very like it's the same, but also like
(11:04):
they're dealing with its set of circumstances and mental shit
that like I can't always I'm not like, you know,
I'm not licensed.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Well that's the thing too. I didn't know there were
people in those meetings until a friend of mine told
me her, who is it? Her nephew started going to
AA and he has a severe mental issues and she goes,
oh my god, someone punched him out at the meeting.
And I'm like, oh my god, what happened? And she
told me because he just pushed a guy too far
(11:33):
after a meeting, trying to talk to him and talking shit.
And I'm like, oh, so aa, guys are human who
can beat someone up in a meeting? I mean that
I asked you and you're like, oh, yeah, that's stuff happens.
So it's all these perfect souls.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
It's also not a very well organized thing, right. It's
like you're going to a church and there's a room
that a guy rented and was like, we're gonna have
a meeting here, and it's like whoever saw it on
a schedule online line and going like all right, I'll
show up, can just walk in, So you don't know
who's gonna be there. Also, there's people there that are like,
I'm an alcoholic, but it turns out they're just super
(12:09):
mentally ill, right, and they're you know, they're doing or
they're just in a really weird place in their life
or their marriage, or they're they're just falling off the
deep end in all different ways. So you don't really
know what anyone's going through. So it's best to just
be like, hey, man, if the if the literature speaks
to you, like I can try to walk you through that.
But like, but like if you need like help, help,
(12:30):
like we're gonna we're gonna get a doctor involved, We're
gonna get people that like know things on that level.
Because I'm just a guy who like doesn't drink you know,
alcohol anymore.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
So that's really what you have to offer is your experience.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Yeah, that's all we get, you know, to be able
to help.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
I mean there's people that go into more like sober
coaching and they can get licensed in things, and like
I think that's great, right, but you know, for for
most people, it's just like, yeah, I don't drink anymore,
and I'll tell you about my experience.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
So sharing the story is the deal.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Yeah, I mean that's what helped me. You know.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I didn't have somebody sit down and go like you
need to take all these medications and figure out they
were just like, hey, you know, I stopped fucking you know,
paying attention to every feeling I have and like getting
you know, going off the handle all the time and
just started living a simpler life and showing up and
doing simple things right and like accepting that like I
(13:28):
don't need to feel good all of the time, and
like there's going to be large periods of time where
I might not feel good and that's okay, yeah, and
like we're going to get through it. And like, I
think that's really a lot of what I love early
sobriety because it's there's so few times in your life
where the deck is cleared, you know what I mean,
where it's just like, all right, I have one thing
(13:49):
I need to do. It's stay sober. Show up. Yeah,
it's it, dude, Yeah, and like call a guy and
go all right, you know, I stayed sober at the
end of the day, and that's like it. And it's like, yeah,
you get fired, you could you know, you know, your
girl could leave you. All types of shit could happened,
but like this is really the only thing that matters,
and everything else is just noise around that thing, because
(14:11):
everything you've collected in your life up to that point
is pretty much on the table to get thrown out
because you're a fucking drunk. And let's be real, like
what did you you know what I mean, Like did
you really not to say.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Like every marriage, but like there's a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
I know who when they got to AA the person
they were dating wasn't such a great influence.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
Yes, you know why because they were fucking drunk when
you know.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Or they were somebody who had to rescue them hundred
percent had to be the fixer exactly, which I always
sort of did the fixer role with guys of like
why is he smoking pot from morning till night? I
can fix this. I remember I flushed. I told the
guy to flush the whole thing, or I was breaking
up with him. Yeah, oh my god, that works out great.
(14:54):
He did flush the whole thing. But I was like,
I guess that didn't fix it because you guess what
get more?
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
So I think it's also just you're gonna be in
that first year on that what they call that pink cloud,
which is the best because you're just like, oh, this
feels so good. I see life through new eyes.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Right, And like, honestly I miss that shit because like
life gets hard and there's just like I'm married now,
and you know how that goes, and it's just like no,
but it's just like life just picks up and then
you're like, I, you know, you become accustomed to the
fact that like alcohol is in a part of my life.
You know, you go like, yeah, I'm not dealing with
(15:46):
that day in day out, you know, And but you
start dealing with other things day and day out. You
start dealing with other fears and worries, and your life
gets bigger and you know you have great blessings that
you know, you know. But like at the same time,
it's it's nice to like look back and go like, man,
remember when it was just like, yeah, I mean, dude,
I used to go pick up a buddy of mine
(16:07):
from he was living in a homeless shelter, and I
would go pick him up every day after work and
we would go to a meeting and we would like
go eat something at a diner and then go home.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
I did every day.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But that's like open mics, dude.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Yeah, very very similar.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Absolutely, It's just like a bunch of homeless dudes, Yeah,
doing five minutes of comedy.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Yeah, and just the whole open mics are more hopeless,
if any.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Guarantee because they think they have talent. Oh my god.
But no, those are like the early days of anything
is so much fun. Yeah, it's simple, simple, that's all
you're thinking about, right.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
It's the thing you really like fall in love with
about it is that like, you're going to see these
little improvements and it's exciting. And then when when once
you're expected to have something figured out and you're expected
to like have your life moving in a certain direction,
then there's then he starts to get that anxiety and
fear and all that stuff. Then you know, that's why
they say just keep working, man, because it's like more
(17:05):
shit you get in your life, the more you have
to like give back and go like, Okay, what am
I what am I still afraid of?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Am I still yeah? Taking for granted and just being
a dick about you know what? Am I not giving up?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Speaking of taking for granted? Celia's here, we take her
for granted. We ramble for twenty minutes and don't even
introduce her. But Bo, you're shockingly fascinating. Honestly, I know you.
I see you at least once a week at the diner. Yes,
I don't find you that compelling, but now I do
because you're focused. You're concentrating. So we almost missed Celia.
(17:43):
Say hello Celia. Hi, Celia needs to go get her
teeth cleaned. I noticed they were dirty, so just to
go soon.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
I don't even think I need to because like somebody
lost weing told me that I had pearly whites.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
No, you do well.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
The reason you have pearly white teeth is because you
go every six months for cleaning, and you're not like
some crazy person who never goes.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
Yeah, but I'm not good about the alignment of my teeth.
I need in his line.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Oh, let me get they get them, but I don't.
You don't want you don't really want them.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
I get really bad migraines, and to me, that's not
worth a migraine.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Migraines.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
I'd rather pass away than have a migraine.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
People bet I fully think you should not get it then,
and they're kind of the acceptance of your uneven child.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
I don't hate them, they're just they're not terrible space teeth. Yeah,
you know what's.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Wrong with her? She has to pick on herself. They
always with these girls. I used to have a friend
who go his sister would always want to do something
different with her hair. You get to mess with yourself
all the time. Women were too critical. We look in
the mirror and we got to go, Oh, my tooth,
my left eye tooth is a counterear away from the
(18:50):
other one. So who cares accept it? Yeah, if you
know the numbers of your teeth, there's a problem. But Celia,
where can people find you? Bitch? Celia Underscore Underscore? So
my colon mother's com Okay, No, what is is it?
Speaker 5 (19:07):
Just that Celia Underscore Underscore Romano is my name?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
She's in a good mood today?
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Wait?
Speaker 5 (19:15):
I actually am? I really am? I'm I took like
a new prescription that I have yesterday and I think
it's really messed with me.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Wait for mental illness or for like like.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
Mentas mental is it for? I don't know?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I think which which met?
Speaker 5 (19:31):
Is it? Abuse?
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Bar?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
What's that supposed to work on? I'll tell you if
it's working today.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Well, why are you just taking things that you don't know?
Speaker 5 (19:39):
I know it's like I I don't know. I think
it's it's a supplement to my SSRI and I don't
like it.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Who told you to take it?
Speaker 5 (19:46):
My psychiatrist?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Okay? Good, because who knows what you internet kids? You
meant read on a wellness No?
Speaker 5 (19:53):
I would never okay, but I just I think it's
not it's not my friend?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Could we give it a minute to work?
Speaker 5 (20:00):
I don't want to feel like this ever again.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Okay, I feel no wonder you're so pleasant today.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
No, I feel like I'm just really hungover and I'm
not you know what I mean. Like, I feel like
I woke up extra nauseous and like headache and as
if I didn't sleep at all, and I didn't sleep much.
But I feel like I'm I'm restless.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Did you call the shrink?
Speaker 5 (20:21):
No, I'm going to call him after the dentists. Okay,
well I've got I've got a book of that. I
myself out because this is not right.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
But were you on these mental health drugs?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Have you ever?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, they pushed them my way.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I took him when I was young, which is the
best time to start. And yeah, they I.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Hope he actually needed. Trust me, no one's taking you
off those ever. You'll be buried in a coffin, gripped
tightly to the fucking bottle exactly. The orange bottle is
her best friend.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
It is, Yeah, multiple orange bottles.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I assumed.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah, yes, Well, I mean listen, I think if you
need it, you need it.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
I think that sometimes things get a little overprescribed these
days would be nice thing.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
But yeah, because that was your circumstance.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah, my circumstance was like doctors were like, hey, you
know what about this a pharmaceutical rep in the other day,
he's got this when we throw this in there, is
it just because.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
You were hyperactive or something?
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Like?
Speaker 4 (21:25):
I was just a shitty kid.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
I was like very like, you know, I was always
in trouble, always out, you know, doing drugs and get
high and drink drinking and and like bad at school.
And you know, I had parents that wanted not that
to be the case, right, and.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
They were like, well, maybe we take him to a
you know, a shrink or whatever.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
And then the shrink goes, Yeah, this kid just like
doesn't have any interest in like participating in the life
that his parents want for him.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Maybe if we give him.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Some drugs, like it'll like make him able to do it.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
And then it didn't.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
It was the opposite effect. It was like more drugs
I took, the more I spun out, the more you know,
uncomfortable I was. And like, you know, so I had
a lot of friends that were all on like all
the add meds and you know, klonipin and its annex
and all that shit.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
And clonapin is my bestie.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
No, I think if you need it, you need it.
Like we have a good friend who's on for depression.
I think it's fantastic. I love that medication is so
accepted now. Yeah, but also like it sucks that you
had the experience of like, oh, maybe it's something else
that I need and not this, and maybe it's not
you know, having the life your parents wanted for you, right,
(22:43):
you know.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
And the older I got and the more I like,
you know, talk to more doctors and talk to better doctors,
the more Like I remember sitting down with a shrink
one time and I was like, what are we fixing?
And he was like just like moodiness And I was like,
well I don't. I don't fucking need to pay that,
and you're just you're.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Immonal at that point, you know what I mean, Like
every boy or girl who goes through puberties becomes a
mental patient. Yeah, And it's like, as I remember once,
I uh, I filmed U TV special and it was
like the height of my career. So it was the
HBO special and I was super sad two days later. Yeah,
(23:22):
so I was like maybe I have a depression, Oh
my god, And I'm like, I'm forty something years old
and it never done. And I'm like, no, you're just
sad it's over right. So you just feeling the feelings
is so hard that sometimes we I jumped to the
quick fix when on Well buttre and I was like, well,
I don't need it. Yeah, it's fine, dude.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
And I think about the things that I was you know,
I had such anxiety when I was a kid, and
then I think about like what I was doing and
I and I'm like, yeah, that would give me anxiety,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Like I just stopped doing that thing.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
I was driving in here and I passed by Terminal five,
that club over there, and I was like, oh shit, man.
When I was seventeen, I took too much acid and
I was running around here and I was like, oh yeah,
that's you know, like that's why you have anxiety is
because like every weekend is like, let's see what we
can put on, you know, down our throat to run crazy.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
So it's like you can't. It's hard to treat mental
health when there's an active addiction or just active craziness happening.
So like that's what I ended up getting with doctors.
It's like, hey, man, let's get off the drugs and
the alcohol. We'll get a baseline and then we'll decide
if you need.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
To be medicated.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
And once I got there, they were like, no, you're
just I mean, you're you know, you're pissed a lot
of time, and you're dick sometimes and whatever, but like
you're not mentally you know, you don't need like drugs.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Well pissed in a dick that's like a really good
assessment of you.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Yes, yeah, yeah, that's where I'm at.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Has your ever since you stopped how many years ago?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Did you stop? Nine years?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Okay? So have you your being angry or your dicky qualities?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Oh, I've gotten better?
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, like when I was when I the thing is
is like you go like this right, So like when
I first got sober and was really working hard on it,
like I was much more agreeable and kind and and
like I didn't have as much of an edge because
I was just like okay, like I'm I'm really getting
into this spirituality. And then you know, as as other
(25:27):
you know, life starts to pick up, like you might
lose some of that spirituality all of a sudden, you
get that edge again, you start being a dick and
then you know, and now it's like I have all
going on in my life. I'm you know, I'm newly married,
and I have a lot of stress, and I'm going like, Okay,
I'm not as good as I'd like to be right now,
but I'm not you know, I'm not causing abuse or
(25:50):
doing anything horrible. I just I know like what my
baseline is and what I can be right And I
think that's where. You know, it's just a lifetime of work.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
So what's that know to do?
Speaker 4 (26:01):
It's a single too. I mean, focus on gratitude. Drink yeah,
get the get the booze out. No, but just to like,
I mean, you got to slow down and just.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Be blessed for what you have right now and know
that like the people around you are not trying to
actively get in your way, right, and like you're not
entitled to everything working out.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Like dude, I'm the most Yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Can't get a little white boy sometimes.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Oh yeah, I mean it's bad. Yeah, And I you know,
I grew up around a bunch of white kids with money.
I saw a bunch of white kids with money get
drunk and lose their life or whatever. And then I
saw them come back and get sober, and I was like, oh,
it's it's so hard for those people to get sober
because there's such miserable, fucking assholes who expect expect every yes,
(26:52):
and they just and it's like, well, I don't understand.
Are you saying that my life for the next few
years is gonna suck? It's like, yeah, well, because you
fucking you ruined it, like you actively ruined your life
and now you're like weirded out that, like it has
to be hard, you know, like why why am I
not landing in this soft, fluffy place like well, because
you have been for the last ten years and the
(27:12):
money's running out, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You know. And and they have to get comfortable with
not being comfortable because getting sober, I would imagine it's
super uncomfortable. And somebody AA or any of the programs
doesn't just hand you something. You got to show up
and do the work. So they, for the first time
in their lives, have to go, oh, I don't.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Like feeling this right, And there's no mommy and daddy
that can just walk in and take it away from me.
And there's nothing I can take and you know that's
that's one of the benefits of like programs, and like
hitting a bottom is like once you hit that point,
if you've got to try to go out and drink
or do drugs, like it doesn't work anymore. You know,
(28:03):
like you you are still you're always thinking about the problem.
Like I remember I remember doing like lines of blow
and like drinking with a buddy of mine and like
the whole time, I'm like, dude, aa works, you know,
like explaining like being like you don't understand, like this
is like a really good program and there's twelve steps
and I don't want to get through into it, but
you're gonna, you know, because like it's the only thing
(28:24):
I can think about because I'm actively doing something that
I know I shouldn't be doing. It's making me miserable,
and I know that there's this light on the other side,
and I can't like so I'm just gonna, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
How many times did you go in and out?
Speaker 4 (28:38):
Oh constantly?
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Like I mean I was the guy who like would
go to the meeting and then go to the liquor
store after the meeting, right, you know, So like there
was like months and a couple there were a couple
of years where I was going to meetings but like
just unable to catch any time, and I had a
buddy that I was like it was like my age,
and we would always show up to the meeting and
(29:01):
I'd be like two days.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
And be like one day and be like, oh, nice, dude.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
And this was every week, like me and him were
just always showing up at that same time, like just
being like, yeah, we fucking drank again and never together,
which I was always like, hey, why don't we just
you know, yeah, and he.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Was like that would seem dirty and wrong, right, yeah, like.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Let's do this alone. Really be miserable, you know.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
But like that's just how it was until I was
really ready to just be like dude.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
And sometimes from when I hear a bottom doesn't look dramatic, No,
it's not usually like oh I was in the bathtub
about to, you know, slip my wrist and then whatever. Yeah,
I was like, oh no, yeah, I can't drink again.
It's like no. And sometimes it's just like oh this
is just too much.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
It's it can be as simple as like you know,
your mom calling and you're like.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Oh, geez, I can't like this is wrong.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Like you know what I mean, Like you can hit
it at any moment, right, Like it's just the only
difference between a bottom and just a regular is that
you recognize that this is a fucking problem, you know,
because like I mean, you can find a bottom in
the many years of my life.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah you can go like that's like way more dramatic
than was.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Yeah, but it's the only thing that makes it at
the bottom is like, oh yeah this is over.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
So for you the last time, so nine years ago,
you were like, yeah, this is over. Yeah wow, and
you didn't relapse except in your dumb Listen how stupid
he is. He didn't what he says, it's not a relapse,
but his friends joke about it. Yeah that you what.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
I was using CBDO, which is if you don't know,
it's like a non you know, non what no what
it's like a non uh narcotic version of marijuana.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
So it's like what you would take to get the like.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Medicinal effects of marijuana and but not actually be high.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
So there's so So I was taking that to sleep
because it was COVID and I couldn't sleep right, And
I was like it was like early I was.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
I was out of my mind. I was just freaking
out about stuff, and.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
You know, I mean I think everyone was a little
little and I was like, I was nervous about going
to a doctor, and I was like, I can't sleep.
I literally want like weeks where I was just not sleeping, right,
And I was you know, if you're like that, you're
out of your fucking mind, right, you know. So I
was like, I'm gonna get some CBD and just try
and sleep, and it actually worked. But then, like you know,
I didn't tell my sponsor about it.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I was like, so you knew it was a little shade.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Yeah, I was like, what am I doing?
Speaker 3 (31:36):
And then I called him and I'm like, yeah, I
did that, and he's like, it's not it's not great, man.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
So how many years ago was that? That was twenty nineteen,
five years ago, so you have five years sober?
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah, yeah, So does quit saying.
Speaker 5 (31:48):
Nine CB he counts as as breaking it, because like, well.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
This is it?
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Does it does in the strictest sense?
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Yeaheah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
So, like I would go to meetings and then I'd
be like I got a few days, right, and then
they'd be like well what happened because all these people
knew me for years?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Oh so you did bounce it back?
Speaker 4 (32:03):
Oh yeah, and I would go and since then I
just go, what the fuck cares?
Speaker 2 (32:06):
But but well, this is where your ego and your
lack of humility shows and why you'll probably end up
a drunk in a gutter because you are in deny
on you son up a bitch.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Sure, but I would absolutely, but I would like go
to meetings and then people would be like, you have
like two weeks and I'd be like, yeah, man, you know, CBD,
and then like it start this whole controversy in the
area that I would go to meetings where people be like, no, dude,
that's not a thing, like you know, So like I
every and every meeting I would go people, I would
have to raise my hand and go, you know, I'm
(32:38):
I'm a drunk, but I got you.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
Know, two weeks clean now and.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
I had that, I had five and now I have three?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
How much?
Speaker 2 (32:46):
You just don't fucking be stupid and do it. And
you knew I didn't. Secretly you knew it was wrong
because you didn't tell your sponsor. Course, so that's the thing.
We all know what we're doing. We're all a little shifty.
Oh yeah, we'll be like, oh who can I keep
this from? But now you feel like you've accepted this.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
Yeah, and it's tough. I don't look at it as
like two breaks in my sobriety.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I just kind of go like, let mean two breaks
or breaks we got.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
I guess a break.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
There was never a different one, no, okay.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
So but I just look at more as like I
mean like two parts, meaning like before and after. I
don't look at it as that. I just go like, yeah,
it's just I've just been trying to do this.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
This is like part of your journey.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
Yeah, girl, I've been trying not to die.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Well, even though you're a fall down, dirty, lying drunk,
kind of secret drunk not drinking at this moment. Do
you think you'll ever pick up?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
I don't think so, but you never know. You never know.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Yeah, I mean you hang out with Nick how sober.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
At some point the misery. Yeah, here's our first letter
of to date, Lisa. I've been sober for two years
and just started dating someone who drinks socially. He's not
a problem drinker, but I find myself getting resentful and
triggered anyway. Am I being unfair or is it just
one of those your recovery comes first things?
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Who is this?
Speaker 4 (34:10):
This is Derek thirty seven, Seattle.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Okay? First of all, clearly they're gaze. Yeah, because he
said he's just dating a guy.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
That's all wrong on that level. I drink too if
I was taking it in the ass, wouldn't you, Celia? Yes,
she would wait a minute. So I that is a
weird question. I think me personally, I've seen it work
both ways. I have a friend who's sober and his
husband drinks like occasionally, and it's no big deal because
(34:42):
he's been sober so long. It wouldn't affect him anyway.
He's even like, come on, David needs a drink to
come down. But then I would think I would find
it hard and I might be resentful if I couldn't say,
in my case, be like if I can't have cake
and house, I resent the boyfriend for having a cake. Yeah,
(35:03):
you know. So what do you think as someone who's
actually sober and gone through this.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Yeah, and married to a drunk I'm kidding, but I listen.
I think that there's something wrong with your sobriety if
you can't be around alcohol at all. And I think
that like if you know, if you're being triggered, that's
a that's a sign for you to focus on yourself,
(35:29):
not for you to judge what the other person is doing,
because if you have good boundaries, you can be in
a relationship with anybody. Not to say that you should
pick a fall down drunk, but it sounds like this
guy is pretty socially just having some drinks and it
shouldn't affect you at the level that does.
Speaker 4 (35:48):
So it's like, you know, for you point the finger.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
There's four more point back at you. Well, so the fact.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
There's only three more, yeah, because you.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Wait if you're putting this and something goes right up
his ass because he's good. So I think it's like
if when the word resentment comes in, what he resents
is that the world can drink and he can't because
it's a it's a chemical thing. He cannot drink and live.
(36:20):
So he has to work on his resentment of his
life circumstances and the boo, who I can't drink shit?
Is that correct? Because it really has nothing to do
with the husband.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
No, it's it's like I mean, yeah, if you can't
handle being round it, that's on you.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Man, Like, what's the difference between this and someone's like, hey,
I work in a bar.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
I'm idiot.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Okay, So basically there are bounds.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
There's other places to work. You know.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I was trained at American Bartending Academy. I got my certificate.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Yeah, so it's it's.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
It's like sort of there are lines that I remember.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
I remember this kid.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
They were like, well, I have to work at this
bar because there's music at the bar and music is
my higher power. And I said, well, you're a fucking idiot.
It's just like, you know, it's like we can build
ways to get back to where we want to be
and do the shit we want to do.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
That's a slip that guy. That's a complicated bridge because
think about it too. Music. I can't hear it anywhere
else but a bar. If there's only a device I
could carry with me with headphones that put music directly
in my ear, I know I'll go invent one. I
know they can get to the laboratory invent one. You
dumb hunt. I hate people.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
I heard it all. Next letter, Next letter, h This
is from Cat. She's thirty three years old.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
My target group.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
She's in shit Cago.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Okay, dear Lisa, I'm in love with someone who's in
early recovery. I want to be supportive, but I don't
know where the line is between helping and enabling. What
does a healthy relationship with a sober person act.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I'll tell you what it looks like. No contact until
a year sober. Even I know you have to be
sober off the drug before you date. So he is
breaking a rule.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
Yes, and Kat, if you are really into someone that's
in early recovery, there's something wrong with you exactly.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
And trying to rescue, rescue, rescue, because guess what will happen?
Do you know this whole thing about the victim triangle?
My shrink told me about this thing. So somebody makes
themselves the victim, and there's a triangle. At one side
you could be either rescuer or the other side is
the villain. So what happens is Cat is going to
rescue this little dopey cocksucker, this oxy addict I'm imagining
(38:41):
or drinking of the Belvedere, you know what that is.
And so she's gonna rescue him. She'll be the madonna
for a while where oh my everything, you help me
stay sober, and then she'll look askance at him one
night when he looks like he's going to take a drink,
and then he's the villain, so he gets to just
(39:03):
play this little game. So, boyfriend, if you're listening, just
put down the pussy.
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Yeah, for a year, dump the cunt.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Yeah. Yeah, well that was a little harsh, but that's okay.
It's your new bumper sticker. I think, Wait, so you
did you actually wait a year? I mean you were
at the time really gross.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
I was.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
I can't make it, but not even just that, you're
just gross. I didn't even know you then, but I
imagine you were even more heinous, yeah than when I
met you.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Yeah, I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Girls actually like you.
Speaker 4 (39:37):
Oh listen, you know I could be very charming.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
No, but I remember I was in early sobriety and
I bought about ten triple xcel Hawaiian shirts on Amazon.
I was wore those every day in the winter, and
then on the bottom half. I know you were wondering
I was. I was rocking. H I was rocking linen pants. Literally,
(40:03):
I dressed like I was going to a lou out. Yeah, yeah,
and it was. I mean, I was just insane, but
I was I'm gonna be comfortable, you know, like that
was my life.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
You know, I was double shit, I'm gonna be comfortable now.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
So I was really walking around all lou out out
every day. And I ended up meeting someone in recovery
that was just far more mentally ill than I was,
but a nice person, and we had a little relationship
and yeah, she just you know, it's just it wasn't
the right thing for me.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
But you know, wait, so you didn't wait the year?
Speaker 4 (40:38):
No, dude, I was a needy bitch. Okay you picked.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Up twice, first the clam and then the CBD. So
no one's perfect, especially you, mister bau mcdowells. So yes, this,
this relationship is the one in the letter Doomed. As
doom can be step away from the drunk, he should
step away from the clam. Next letter.
Speaker 4 (41:00):
All right, this is from Aaron in latch Matt.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Is it spelled Aaron E r Iron or a r.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
O n It's Aaron E r I in chick Okay,
go ahead, here we go, Dear Lisa.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
I got married seven months ago, and I noticed that
my husband is eating and drinking like we're still on
our honeymoon. He's definitely happy, but he's getting fat. Do
I say something? Why did my wife friend?
Speaker 4 (41:25):
I don't like this.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
By the way, have you like started eating like you
have nine rectums after the honeymoon?
Speaker 4 (41:33):
No, but on the honeymoon I did.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
And now I'm like, I'm starting to get a little
bit of it under control.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:39):
Yeah, yeah, I've.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Been doing a little bit more like Okay, we're not
going to eat our feelings today, Like that's yeah, That's
where I'm at.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
But yeah, no, I definitely put on a future.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
It makes sense. Well, okay, so what Celia.
Speaker 5 (41:50):
Go said a question? Oh yes, I've seen like in
TV shows and stuff that people after they stop to
quit whatever it is to be smoking, drinking, that they
eat a lot of sweat eats.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
Did that happen to you?
Speaker 4 (42:01):
Oh yeah really?
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Oh, Celey, I gotta send you old picture. No, he
was so disgusting, and I don't think fat is disgusting.
Bo was just a disgusting human. Like he would eat
even now sometimes I'm like, you know, there's grease on
your hand right, Like he just has no awareness of
like the broccoli growing up of the face and all that.
(42:24):
He's gotten a lot better to eat with. Yeah, yeah,
but yeah, you were just messy.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Mean yeah, sweets anything. I had a buddy that was
like obsessed with milkshakes. He put on fifty pounds just
on milkshakes.
Speaker 5 (42:38):
Wo dude, I saw him shameless, like want of lip.
The character gets sober and he goes to the diner
every single time after a meeting and they get every
single type of pie.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Well at the diner that you always know when there's
a sober table, Yeah, because it's always a table, really
long table of guys who look almost homeless, but just
a counter above homeless. And you're like, oh, those guys
are in program. Yeah, you know, and it is really
a tradition of going. You go out after I even
remember you.
Speaker 5 (43:07):
It is key bonding. You know, they have not chips
after the meeting too, you know, like we all support
each other.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Well, I do like that. I used to go to
this meeting for I guess Coda in Westport, Connecticut, and
afterwards it was like a diner thing. But then I
started going to an alan on in Fairfield and the
women just are so repulsive as humans. That all they
did was complain at the lunch after about their husbands
(43:36):
who are drunks, And I'm like, and in my head,
I'm going, well, why are you with him? I can't
fuck with women who stick with a drunk. I just
that's my limit. I couldn't do it. But I'm like, really,
you love him? How much fun is it living with
that guy? But also again, they're rescuers big time.
Speaker 4 (43:55):
Yeah, yeah, you have no talents for anyone.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
That's stuck I have, I'm like, get help. I like, yelled.
There's a woman in my comedy class, my adult class,
who I just got sick of her shit. I like
her a lot. She's so fucking talented, and I got
so mad because she's so good but won't even do
an open mic that I thought I was kidding, but
I said to her something like, you really need somatic therapy.
(44:21):
I mean, you really got to shake out why you're
not moving forward. And she's like, my age. I go,
if you don't call my fucking coach, don't come back
to comedy class.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
So he and I get on a zoom and goes, oh,
by the way, thanks for the referral. I'm like to
who like I forgot Yeah, and he goes to so
and so and I go, she called you goes, Yes,
she told me that you threatened her that you wouldn't
let her back at the class, and I go, I
don't remember that, but it sounds like me.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
I probably would have cried.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
Yeah, she didn't. And guess what she said. Her life
is changing. She's not crediting me, She's just going I
finally had a look at all that stuff. Yeah, so
I kind of feel like I'm a higher power. But anyway,
back to the subject at hand.
Speaker 4 (45:01):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, Wait.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Should she what about his fatness? What's the question?
Speaker 4 (45:05):
Definitely happy, but he's getting fat? Do I say something?
Speaker 2 (45:09):
He knows there's a mirror, there are pants that aren't
quite fitting the way that you used to. I remember
thinking when I was overeating and stuff. Oh that's a
sign of me not working on something within me, and
my coping mechanism is eating. There's something wrong here inside me.
(45:31):
You know, I don't know, would you? I mean, it's
different with women and men. I think if you tell
a woman she's getting fat, it's all over. It's done,
because their self image is so based on that, because
of society, what would you do if say your wife
said to you bo, you're putting on a few.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
I would probably be like, yeah, I know, I'm very
like open about like where I'm at with my you
are so she's like he's almost as like she'll be
like you actually look good like you look and I'm like,
you don't understand, Like I understand, I'm disgusting. I'm way
more harsh on myself than she is. And I feel like,
you know, women give a lot more of rope with that. Yeah,
(46:13):
you know, like they're just you're they they're a little
bit kinder. But if yeah, if my wife ever was
like struggling with her weight, I would probably never say anything,
and I would probably ask how she's feeling about, like
you know, like life, how are you doing?
Speaker 4 (46:29):
Like what's going on?
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Well, see your wife, I met her once. She's quite small.
She could gain a few.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
Yeah you do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (46:38):
Like she's not a person oh red flag she got
up suicides four she's fat. So so it's like I
think with women too, like oh, it's just so tied
to their self worth. A lot of guys are just
fat and happy right there, Toady Beer, Yeah, she used
to call you bow bear. I wanted to throw up.
I was like what because I remember one day you
(46:59):
were like you were so stupid you forgot what was
it Valentine's Day? Yeah, it was your first Valentine's Day.
She's away on a business trip. I go, so, did
you send flowers to the hotel?
Speaker 4 (47:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (47:10):
And you're like, whoa what? And I go, dude, that's
the move, Like you're you're barely dating. You gotta send
her the flowers.
Speaker 4 (47:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Okay, So I go, what do you? I ordered them
for you? And I go what's on the card? And
you go, oh, whatever, stupid ship you said, and sign
it bo bear. I'm like, I'm gonna throw up, like literally,
you owe me dinner for this stupid having to type
the words bow bear.
Speaker 4 (47:40):
But you just have to do Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
I know you got me. But yeah, So it is
really delicate with male female ship like that.
Speaker 4 (47:48):
Yeah. Yeah, but you're right, we.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Know we're gaining, yes, and we know it's almost like
you you don't like excellently fall in a bag of
Chip's head for you fat fuck. It's so sad. It's
almost like if he was self aware, he could say, uh, honey,
I know I'm getting a little I'd love to explore
what's going wrong with me or what's going on, but
(48:13):
most people have such shame around food and body image
stuff that they won't say that.
Speaker 4 (48:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
And I also grew up with the mom that like,
if I gained any weight, like she would like pull
my shirt up and like touch my belly in front
of my friends, be like.
Speaker 4 (48:28):
Oh, look, he's putting on some pounds. So like wow.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Like I like, if someone's gonna be like, hey, you're
putting on weight, I'm like, yeah, Well, so.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
My advice to them is that she should divorce him, yes,
because he's getting fat and it's gonna get worse. Disgusting, disgusting.
Bo thank you so much for being a guest today.
Are you happy you came in?
Speaker 4 (48:52):
I'm thrilled.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
Are you so happy you're going to stay for a
second episode? Because we got to literally none of the
questions I had prepared for you.
Speaker 4 (49:00):
All I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Do was talk about like relationships after and during sobriety
and things. So stick around Bow Where can they find you?
Once again?
Speaker 4 (49:10):
At Bau McDowell comedy, Bo is spelled b e au.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
You, which, by the way, all right, this asshole. I'm
a big fan of weddings. Well, when Bo got married
last year, sadly, I already had plans. No, I really did.
Speaker 4 (49:26):
I was.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
I was pissed that I couldn't go, but it was something.
It was kind of you got married last minute, even
though she's not even knocked up. I know, so was
volunteer for you to be this stupid. So I get
the freakin' invitation and they used their formal names. I
almost threw up this pretentious white parents of yours named you.
(49:52):
Listen to this name Celia guy.
Speaker 5 (49:54):
I put him in security.
Speaker 4 (49:55):
I know it.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
It was horrible.
Speaker 4 (49:57):
Go ahead say it, James de.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
Okay, I like it. It's fucking stupid, and I'll tell
you why. Because they're white trash living in Wilton, Connecticut
above their means, don't got a possible pot to pisson.
And they named themselves after a French fag, kind of
like a salad dressing. That's what it sounds like. It's dumb.
You really are the Royalty of Wilton.
Speaker 5 (50:19):
It kind of sounds like one of my like southern
guy friends names like they would be named.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
I know, and they actually probably have some breeding and money,
unlike the low life's race who raised him. No, it's
not sad.
Speaker 4 (50:33):
They're fine folks.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Bou debaujaljel oh. I hate you. We'll find them or don't.
At Bow McDowell Comedy and listen. I'm gonna have to
do nix't job, which I hate. Thank you for listening. No, okay,
I'll do it. Okay, wait, thanks for listening so insincere.
(50:58):
Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Bo
that felt worse. I didn't mean either. Okay. If you want,
send us a letter to shrink this show at gmail
dot com. Also make sure to follow me at least
Lamani and listen to the podcast on the iheartapp or
wherever you get your podcasts. Bitch
Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.
She is a meddling advice giving yanta I know it all,
and her words come from her head, her heart, and
often out of her ass. This podcast should not be
misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge
grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
These You need help, You're the problems.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Come on, come on.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Go leam, take a pill. I think you're insane. Do
what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Hey, everybody,
it's your old pell Lisa Lampinelli, Oh my god, welcome
(00:51):
back to shrinks. We have a very unspecial episode with
someone who I don't think much of, and I was like, well,
sometimes you're gonna throw a guy a bone. You gotta
you gotta throw him a pity fuck in the form
of a podcast. So I have my good friend just
kidding by the no, not the friend part. I'm like,
relly friends with you. I'm invited to everything you do,
(01:14):
which is nothing. My good friend Beau McDowell's here bo
say hello hello because oh no, don't be a nick
I swear to god, I will oh fuck, oh god. Uh,
where can people find you on social media.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
You can find me at bau McDowell comedy. McDon what
Pau McDowell comedy you.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Said, because it sounds like you said bau McDowell of comedy,
Sir Beau McDowell of comedy. And trust me, if you've
seen his comedy, it ain't much comedy. It ain't that funny.
But you know what's funny, Yeah, this video thing you do. Look,
I'm no fan of watching funny shit because I'm so
funny I can't be bothered with the rest. But this
(02:04):
TikTok shit you do took off.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yeah, and it's it's a lot of it's from like,
you know, going to meetings, like when I was like
first getting sober, and just like the shit you like
make each other laugh within the meeting because it's like
you know, I mean, listen, AA is pretty easy room
to get a laugh because every everybody say, how you like.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Decided instead of playing comedy clubs, I'm gonna play it.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I mean, hey, you got got a lot of time,
you know you can. There's one every hour, right there is.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
That's what wild I always like, I won't pretend to
understand addiction. I sort of know basics about it, just
having dealt with codependency and food stuff. But boy, I
always feel like you guys in AA are pretty lucky
that there's resources in free.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Oh dude, constant, I mean, And like the funniest things
I've heard in my life. A lot of them come
out of a meeting because it's not intentional, you know,
like stand up. It's always a guy and he's.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
You know, I've been working up and down the coast, folks.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
You know you haven't exactly, but it's like when you
when you were sitting in a meeting and.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Some guys just being really honest. You know.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
It's like our buddy Andrew Ginsburg when we first met him,
and he's like talking about his marriage and you're like, dude,
I love the honesty. It makes you fucking laugh, you know,
and like the same ship with me. It's like I
when we talk about like ship that we do, that's
fucking stupid, like me eating the pizza at uh.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
We go into that bow. Not only got sober years ago,
he loved to transfer addictions. Gain like five hundred pounds
was as misshapen as you could imagine, nick, but three
times the size. And then like I'm sure you it
went to other areas, possibly gambling, other things. We get
into that so that happens. Realness is always funny when
(03:59):
it comes to those eatings and things. I once brought
a off tape, not a tape recorder, but like I
hit record during a share of mine once at a
codependant's anonymous meeting because I was like, I bet there's
material here. Oh dude, I didn't tape anybody else, like
that would be super immoral, but I was like, I'm
gonna take my share. I bet I'm kind of storytelling class.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Well, you also can't help it, like if someone's like, hey,
you get five minutes to talk, You're like, I got
a type.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I have a few things neck in there, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And well my friend Tracy, who goes to a lot
of alan On, she'd call me and she's so funny.
She's from stanton On. She knowels loose, cute. Then apartments.
That's good, but are you supposed to kill?
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Yeah? That's not how I were there. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
The first thing is to not be whatever you're going there,
to not be right.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Yeah, And it's like that's a fine line. Like I remember,
I remember like my first couple is like literally going
to meetings and like looking at whatever we were reading
and being like, all right, I can probably get a
few like I got I got a punchline here, punch there.
And then after a meeting one day, this guy was like, hey, man,
everyone likes you that they all think you're super funny,
and it's great because like, I mean, you're gonna die and.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Like this is about your life. Wow, and like.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
It's cool to everyone thinks you're funny, but like you're
probably not going to survive do what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
You immediately respond was wait, wait, wait, wait, let me wait, wait, wait,
let me get this straight. You think I'm funny?
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
It's like yeah, yeah, dude, that wasn't the point. No
wait wait wait so what what what did you like
that I did up there? It's like comics are so mental.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Exactly exactly which line was it? Because I've been working
on that.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yeah, I'm work shopping in a little bit. I even
went to Heroin and IMN, what is it?
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Yeah? Yeah, everyone's got to have their own thing.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, we have to. Well there's lots of them, which
I fully love. Dude, Yeah, straighten out one thing before
we go further. Yeah, okay, alcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, all
the ones. Yeah, it's supposed to be anonymous. It's not
supposed to be self promoting. In other words, you're not
(06:11):
supposed to go on say a podcast on iHeart and
say the words I go to AA. So do people
do that anymore? Do they respect that or do they
just say I'm in the program? Like are they vague?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
I don't know, man, Like, honestly, you know when I
remember people being like really harsh about it, to the
point where they're like, you know, they would see people
like posting their coin on Instagram right right.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
And by the way, for those of you who aren't
drunk and fall down douchebags who had a life and
parents who loved you and didn't give you bloody Mary's
to wake you up, a coin is something you would
get if you reached a month of sobriety a day.
Sometimes we have such low standard.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
It's one day.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, so you get a little coin, But I didn't
notice the coins. They're real shitty at for so one hour,
coins like plastic like looks from the worst casino in
the Midwest. But then they get to be where they're
like brass, oh beautiful and so anyway, so people would
post their coins, that would people get pissed off?
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yeah, well people would be like, oh, you're breaking you know, anonimity,
Like that's breaking an a tradition, an a tradition. And
it's like, yeah, you know, the fear there is that
someone's going to post their coin or they're like talk
about their sobriety, and then people will start to follow
that person and be like oh, like like you know
the AA works because of bo McDowell, right, well.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Which is why I'm fine.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Yeah, and like and then if obviously something happens where
you know, a guy goes out and drinks a bunch
of booze after like building this, you know, like a
Mark Maron would be a good example, like everyone kind
of knows he goes to AA.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I didn't till now, but thanks.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Well good, I'm breaking it.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
But no, but it's it doesn't talk about it. It doesn't
make himself the higher power.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
No, he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
And it's like if if he ends up having some
struggles and has a relapse or something, you know, it's
it's on like the public to be like okay, well
that's not like AA's fault, right right, Like he this
is something that happens in the journey of an alcoholic,
right right, And like we you know, it shouldn't disprove
(08:23):
AA being a good thing, right right, just because that happens.
So it's you know, for me, I'm like, yeah, I'm
not trying to I'm not trying to like promote AA
or even me.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
In that way.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
It's just like, yeah, man, this is what I've been through.
And if you need help, don't call me, go go
figure out.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
So if someone was to call you for help, you'd
be like here's a list of meetings. You wouldn't say
I'll get on the phone with you or I'll talk
to you or whatever unless you sponsor that.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Right, And like this is you know, when I was
new in recovery, I was like, you know, give me
a call straight and y out because.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Because ego, Yeah, dude, you get the big.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Ego hit of like, oh they're calling me, I'm helping
all these people.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I'm pretty much, you know, like smartest guy.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Helpful, ever, ruggedly, handsome, beef.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Yeah, the christ.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
I'd like this. There's a podcast called it's a really
big podcast called Sounds Like a cult, and every time
they do an episode, it's about something that has little
culti vibes, so or is it? And at the end
they vote is it actually a cult? So if they
they'll do like Starbucks, Stanley Cupps anything, And they did
a twelve step one and ends up it has very
(09:33):
few culty qualities, but a could tip into culty if
they start worshiping the person instead of the program or
even having any sort of worship at all.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, well that was my beef with like a Russell Brand,
where like he wrote his own book that your only.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Beef with Russell Brand didn't help.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Well, we're talking about this pre right, yeah, pre right.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
But he wrote a book and he was like he
rewrote all of the steps and they were like hey, man,
like it doesn't take Like that's not smart to be like,
you know step one, unfunck yourself. You're like, oh, it's genius. Wow,
Like you basically just reworded a bunch of shit and
then was like, yeah, you can follow me now, and
it's like, well that's fucked up. Like you got help
(10:19):
from a thing and now you're trying to become the thing.
Like that's a serious god complex and you're a scumback,
you know, so like shit like that really bothers me.
And that's where I think the tradition can really get broken,
is when people start to put themselves above the you know,
the thing that helped them right. And I know I
would never do that, you know, but I'm I'm more
(10:40):
like if someone calls, like, there is that ego hit
and you do want to be worse, you know, I
got some ideas for you, you know, and like you
don't really know. Like the more longer I'm sober, the
more I realize I don't really know shit, and so
many people are dealing with so many like every everybody's
experience is very like it's the same, but also like
(11:04):
they're dealing with its set of circumstances and mental shit
that like I can't always I'm not like, you know,
I'm not licensed.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Well that's the thing too. I didn't know there were
people in those meetings until a friend of mine told
me her, who is it? Her nephew started going to
AA and he has a severe mental issues and she goes,
oh my god, someone punched him out at the meeting.
And I'm like, oh my god, what happened? And she
told me because he just pushed a guy too far
(11:33):
after a meeting, trying to talk to him and talking shit.
And I'm like, oh, so aa, guys are human who
can beat someone up in a meeting? I mean that
I asked you and you're like, oh, yeah, that's stuff happens.
So it's all these perfect souls.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
It's also not a very well organized thing, right. It's
like you're going to a church and there's a room
that a guy rented and was like, we're gonna have
a meeting here, and it's like whoever saw it on
a schedule online line and going like all right, I'll
show up, can just walk in, So you don't know
who's gonna be there. Also, there's people there that are like,
I'm an alcoholic, but it turns out they're just super
(12:09):
mentally ill, right, and they're you know, they're doing or
they're just in a really weird place in their life
or their marriage, or they're they're just falling off the
deep end in all different ways. So you don't really
know what anyone's going through. So it's best to just
be like, hey, man, if the if the literature speaks
to you, like I can try to walk you through that.
But like, but like if you need like help, help,
(12:30):
like we're gonna we're gonna get a doctor involved, We're
gonna get people that like know things on that level.
Because I'm just a guy who like doesn't drink you know,
alcohol anymore.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
So that's really what you have to offer is your experience.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Yeah, that's all we get, you know, to be able
to help.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
I mean there's people that go into more like sober
coaching and they can get licensed in things, and like
I think that's great, right, but you know, for for
most people, it's just like, yeah, I don't drink anymore,
and I'll tell you about my experience.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
So sharing the story is the deal.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Yeah, I mean that's what helped me. You know.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I didn't have somebody sit down and go like you
need to take all these medications and figure out they
were just like, hey, you know, I stopped fucking you know,
paying attention to every feeling I have and like getting
you know, going off the handle all the time and
just started living a simpler life and showing up and
doing simple things right and like accepting that like I
(13:28):
don't need to feel good all of the time, and
like there's going to be large periods of time where
I might not feel good and that's okay, yeah, and
like we're going to get through it. And like, I
think that's really a lot of what I love early
sobriety because it's there's so few times in your life
where the deck is cleared, you know what I mean,
where it's just like, all right, I have one thing
(13:49):
I need to do. It's stay sober. Show up. Yeah,
it's it, dude, Yeah, and like call a guy and
go all right, you know, I stayed sober at the
end of the day, and that's like it. And it's like, yeah,
you get fired, you could you know, you know, your
girl could leave you. All types of shit could happened,
but like this is really the only thing that matters,
and everything else is just noise around that thing, because
(14:11):
everything you've collected in your life up to that point
is pretty much on the table to get thrown out
because you're a fucking drunk. And let's be real, like
what did you you know what I mean, Like did
you really not to say.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Like every marriage, but like there's a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
I know who when they got to AA the person
they were dating wasn't such a great influence.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
Yes, you know why because they were fucking drunk when
you know.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Or they were somebody who had to rescue them hundred
percent had to be the fixer exactly, which I always
sort of did the fixer role with guys of like
why is he smoking pot from morning till night? I
can fix this. I remember I flushed. I told the
guy to flush the whole thing, or I was breaking
up with him. Yeah, oh my god, that works out great.
(14:54):
He did flush the whole thing. But I was like,
I guess that didn't fix it because you guess what
get more?
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
So I think it's also just you're gonna be in
that first year on that what they call that pink cloud,
which is the best because you're just like, oh, this
feels so good. I see life through new eyes.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Right, And like, honestly I miss that shit because like
life gets hard and there's just like I'm married now,
and you know how that goes, and it's just like no,
but it's just like life just picks up and then
you're like, I, you know, you become accustomed to the
fact that like alcohol is in a part of my life.
You know, you go like, yeah, I'm not dealing with
(15:46):
that day in day out, you know, And but you
start dealing with other things day and day out. You
start dealing with other fears and worries, and your life
gets bigger and you know you have great blessings that
you know, you know. But like at the same time,
it's it's nice to like look back and go like, man,
remember when it was just like, yeah, I mean, dude,
I used to go pick up a buddy of mine
(16:07):
from he was living in a homeless shelter, and I
would go pick him up every day after work and
we would go to a meeting and we would like
go eat something at a diner and then go home.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
I did every day.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But that's like open mics, dude.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Yeah, very very similar.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Absolutely, It's just like a bunch of homeless dudes, Yeah,
doing five minutes of comedy.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Yeah, and just the whole open mics are more hopeless,
if any.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Guarantee because they think they have talent. Oh my god.
But no, those are like the early days of anything
is so much fun. Yeah, it's simple, simple, that's all
you're thinking about, right.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
It's the thing you really like fall in love with
about it is that like, you're going to see these
little improvements and it's exciting. And then when when once
you're expected to have something figured out and you're expected
to like have your life moving in a certain direction,
then there's then he starts to get that anxiety and
fear and all that stuff. Then you know, that's why
they say just keep working, man, because it's like more
(17:05):
shit you get in your life, the more you have
to like give back and go like, Okay, what am
I what am I still afraid of?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Am I still yeah? Taking for granted and just being
a dick about you know what? Am I not giving up?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Speaking of taking for granted? Celia's here, we take her
for granted. We ramble for twenty minutes and don't even
introduce her. But Bo, you're shockingly fascinating. Honestly, I know you.
I see you at least once a week at the diner. Yes,
I don't find you that compelling, but now I do
because you're focused. You're concentrating. So we almost missed Celia.
(17:43):
Say hello Celia. Hi, Celia needs to go get her
teeth cleaned. I noticed they were dirty, so just to
go soon.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
I don't even think I need to because like somebody
lost weing told me that I had pearly whites.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
No, you do well.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
The reason you have pearly white teeth is because you
go every six months for cleaning, and you're not like
some crazy person who never goes.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
Yeah, but I'm not good about the alignment of my teeth.
I need in his line.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Oh, let me get they get them, but I don't.
You don't want you don't really want them.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
I get really bad migraines, and to me, that's not
worth a migraine.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Migraines.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
I'd rather pass away than have a migraine.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
People bet I fully think you should not get it then,
and they're kind of the acceptance of your uneven child.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
I don't hate them, they're just they're not terrible space teeth. Yeah,
you know what's.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Wrong with her? She has to pick on herself. They
always with these girls. I used to have a friend
who go his sister would always want to do something
different with her hair. You get to mess with yourself
all the time. Women were too critical. We look in
the mirror and we got to go, Oh, my tooth,
my left eye tooth is a counterear away from the
(18:50):
other one. So who cares accept it? Yeah, if you
know the numbers of your teeth, there's a problem. But Celia,
where can people find you? Bitch? Celia Underscore Underscore? So
my colon mother's com Okay, No, what is is it?
Speaker 5 (19:07):
Just that Celia Underscore Underscore Romano is my name?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
She's in a good mood today?
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Wait?
Speaker 5 (19:15):
I actually am? I really am? I'm I took like
a new prescription that I have yesterday and I think
it's really messed with me.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Wait for mental illness or for like like.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
Mentas mental is it for? I don't know?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
I think which which met?
Speaker 5 (19:31):
Is it? Abuse?
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Bar?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
What's that supposed to work on? I'll tell you if
it's working today.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Well, why are you just taking things that you don't know?
Speaker 5 (19:39):
I know it's like I I don't know. I think
it's it's a supplement to my SSRI and I don't
like it.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Who told you to take it?
Speaker 5 (19:46):
My psychiatrist?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Okay? Good, because who knows what you internet kids? You
meant read on a wellness No?
Speaker 5 (19:53):
I would never okay, but I just I think it's
not it's not my friend?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Could we give it a minute to work?
Speaker 5 (20:00):
I don't want to feel like this ever again.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Okay, I feel no wonder you're so pleasant today.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
No, I feel like I'm just really hungover and I'm
not you know what I mean. Like, I feel like
I woke up extra nauseous and like headache and as
if I didn't sleep at all, and I didn't sleep much.
But I feel like I'm I'm restless.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Did you call the shrink?
Speaker 5 (20:21):
No, I'm going to call him after the dentists. Okay,
well I've got I've got a book of that. I
myself out because this is not right.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
But were you on these mental health drugs?
Speaker 4 (20:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Have you ever?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, they pushed them my way.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I took him when I was young, which is the
best time to start. And yeah, they I.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Hope he actually needed. Trust me, no one's taking you
off those ever. You'll be buried in a coffin, gripped
tightly to the fucking bottle exactly. The orange bottle is
her best friend.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
It is, Yeah, multiple orange bottles.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I assumed.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah, yes, Well, I mean listen, I think if you
need it, you need it.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
I think that sometimes things get a little overprescribed these
days would be nice thing.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
But yeah, because that was your circumstance.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah, my circumstance was like doctors were like, hey, you
know what about this a pharmaceutical rep in the other day,
he's got this when we throw this in there, is
it just because.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
You were hyperactive or something?
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Like?
Speaker 4 (21:25):
I was just a shitty kid.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
I was like very like, you know, I was always
in trouble, always out, you know, doing drugs and get
high and drink drinking and and like bad at school.
And you know, I had parents that wanted not that
to be the case, right, and.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
They were like, well, maybe we take him to a
you know, a shrink or whatever.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
And then the shrink goes, Yeah, this kid just like
doesn't have any interest in like participating in the life
that his parents want for him.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Maybe if we give him.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Some drugs, like it'll like make him able to do it.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
And then it didn't.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
It was the opposite effect. It was like more drugs
I took, the more I spun out, the more you know,
uncomfortable I was. And like, you know, so I had
a lot of friends that were all on like all
the add meds and you know, klonipin and its annex
and all that shit.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
And clonapin is my bestie.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
No, I think if you need it, you need it.
Like we have a good friend who's on for depression.
I think it's fantastic. I love that medication is so
accepted now. Yeah, but also like it sucks that you
had the experience of like, oh, maybe it's something else
that I need and not this, and maybe it's not
you know, having the life your parents wanted for you, right,
(22:43):
you know.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
And the older I got and the more I like,
you know, talk to more doctors and talk to better doctors,
the more Like I remember sitting down with a shrink
one time and I was like, what are we fixing?
And he was like just like moodiness And I was like,
well I don't. I don't fucking need to pay that,
and you're just you're.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Immonal at that point, you know what I mean, Like
every boy or girl who goes through puberties becomes a
mental patient. Yeah, And it's like, as I remember once,
I uh, I filmed U TV special and it was
like the height of my career. So it was the
HBO special and I was super sad two days later. Yeah,
(23:22):
so I was like maybe I have a depression, Oh
my god, And I'm like, I'm forty something years old
and it never done. And I'm like, no, you're just
sad it's over right. So you just feeling the feelings
is so hard that sometimes we I jumped to the
quick fix when on Well buttre and I was like, well,
I don't need it. Yeah, it's fine, dude.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
And I think about the things that I was you know,
I had such anxiety when I was a kid, and
then I think about like what I was doing and
I and I'm like, yeah, that would give me anxiety,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Like I just stopped doing that thing.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
I was driving in here and I passed by Terminal five,
that club over there, and I was like, oh shit, man.
When I was seventeen, I took too much acid and
I was running around here and I was like, oh yeah,
that's you know, like that's why you have anxiety is
because like every weekend is like, let's see what we
can put on, you know, down our throat to run crazy.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
So it's like you can't. It's hard to treat mental
health when there's an active addiction or just active craziness happening.
So like that's what I ended up getting with doctors.
It's like, hey, man, let's get off the drugs and
the alcohol. We'll get a baseline and then we'll decide
if you need.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
To be medicated.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
And once I got there, they were like, no, you're
just I mean, you're you know, you're pissed a lot
of time, and you're dick sometimes and whatever, but like
you're not mentally you know, you don't need like drugs.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Well pissed in a dick that's like a really good
assessment of you.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Yes, yeah, yeah, that's where I'm at.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Has your ever since you stopped how many years ago?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Did you stop? Nine years?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Okay? So have you your being angry or your dicky qualities?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Oh, I've gotten better?
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, like when I was when I the thing is
is like you go like this right, So like when
I first got sober and was really working hard on it,
like I was much more agreeable and kind and and
like I didn't have as much of an edge because
I was just like okay, like I'm I'm really getting
into this spirituality. And then you know, as as other
(25:27):
you know, life starts to pick up, like you might
lose some of that spirituality all of a sudden, you
get that edge again, you start being a dick and
then you know, and now it's like I have all
going on in my life. I'm you know, I'm newly married,
and I have a lot of stress, and I'm going like, Okay,
I'm not as good as I'd like to be right now,
but I'm not you know, I'm not causing abuse or
(25:50):
doing anything horrible. I just I know like what my
baseline is and what I can be right And I
think that's where. You know, it's just a lifetime of work.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
So what's that know to do?
Speaker 4 (26:01):
It's a single too. I mean, focus on gratitude. Drink yeah,
get the get the booze out. No, but just to like,
I mean, you got to slow down and just.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Be blessed for what you have right now and know
that like the people around you are not trying to
actively get in your way, right, and like you're not
entitled to everything working out.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Like dude, I'm the most Yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Can't get a little white boy sometimes.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Oh yeah, I mean it's bad. Yeah, And I you know,
I grew up around a bunch of white kids with money.
I saw a bunch of white kids with money get
drunk and lose their life or whatever. And then I
saw them come back and get sober, and I was like, oh,
it's it's so hard for those people to get sober
because there's such miserable, fucking assholes who expect expect every yes,
(26:52):
and they just and it's like, well, I don't understand.
Are you saying that my life for the next few
years is gonna suck? It's like, yeah, well, because you
fucking you ruined it, like you actively ruined your life
and now you're like weirded out that, like it has
to be hard, you know, like why why am I
not landing in this soft, fluffy place like well, because
you have been for the last ten years and the
(27:12):
money's running out, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You know. And and they have to get comfortable with
not being comfortable because getting sober, I would imagine it's
super uncomfortable. And somebody AA or any of the programs
doesn't just hand you something. You got to show up
and do the work. So they, for the first time
in their lives, have to go, oh, I don't.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Like feeling this right, And there's no mommy and daddy
that can just walk in and take it away from me.
And there's nothing I can take and you know that's
that's one of the benefits of like programs, and like
hitting a bottom is like once you hit that point,
if you've got to try to go out and drink
or do drugs, like it doesn't work anymore. You know,
(28:03):
like you you are still you're always thinking about the problem.
Like I remember I remember doing like lines of blow
and like drinking with a buddy of mine and like
the whole time, I'm like, dude, aa works, you know,
like explaining like being like you don't understand, like this
is like a really good program and there's twelve steps
and I don't want to get through into it, but
you're gonna, you know, because like it's the only thing
(28:24):
I can think about because I'm actively doing something that
I know I shouldn't be doing. It's making me miserable,
and I know that there's this light on the other side,
and I can't like so I'm just gonna, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
How many times did you go in and out?
Speaker 4 (28:38):
Oh constantly?
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Like I mean I was the guy who like would
go to the meeting and then go to the liquor
store after the meeting, right, you know, So like there
was like months and a couple there were a couple
of years where I was going to meetings but like
just unable to catch any time, and I had a
buddy that I was like it was like my age,
and we would always show up to the meeting and
(29:01):
I'd be like two days.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
And be like one day and be like, oh, nice, dude.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
And this was every week, like me and him were
just always showing up at that same time, like just
being like, yeah, we fucking drank again and never together,
which I was always like, hey, why don't we just
you know, yeah, and he.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Was like that would seem dirty and wrong, right, yeah, like.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Let's do this alone. Really be miserable, you know.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
But like that's just how it was until I was
really ready to just be like dude.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
And sometimes from when I hear a bottom doesn't look dramatic, No,
it's not usually like oh I was in the bathtub
about to, you know, slip my wrist and then whatever. Yeah,
I was like, oh no, yeah, I can't drink again.
It's like no. And sometimes it's just like oh this
is just too much.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
It's it can be as simple as like you know,
your mom calling and you're like.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Oh, geez, I can't like this is wrong.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Like you know what I mean, Like you can hit
it at any moment, right, Like it's just the only
difference between a bottom and just a regular is that
you recognize that this is a fucking problem, you know,
because like I mean, you can find a bottom in
the many years of my life.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah you can go like that's like way more dramatic
than was.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Yeah, but it's the only thing that makes it at
the bottom is like, oh yeah this is over.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
So for you the last time, so nine years ago,
you were like, yeah, this is over. Yeah wow, and
you didn't relapse except in your dumb Listen how stupid
he is. He didn't what he says, it's not a relapse,
but his friends joke about it. Yeah that you what.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
I was using CBDO, which is if you don't know,
it's like a non you know, non what no what
it's like a non uh narcotic version of marijuana.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
So it's like what you would take to get the like.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Medicinal effects of marijuana and but not actually be high.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
So there's so So I was taking that to sleep
because it was COVID and I couldn't sleep right, And
I was like it was like early I was.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
I was out of my mind. I was just freaking
out about stuff, and.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
You know, I mean I think everyone was a little
little and I was like, I was nervous about going
to a doctor, and I was like, I can't sleep.
I literally want like weeks where I was just not sleeping, right,
And I was you know, if you're like that, you're
out of your fucking mind, right, you know. So I
was like, I'm gonna get some CBD and just try
and sleep, and it actually worked. But then, like you know,
I didn't tell my sponsor about it.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I was like, so you knew it was a little shade.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Yeah, I was like, what am I doing?
Speaker 3 (31:36):
And then I called him and I'm like, yeah, I
did that, and he's like, it's not it's not great, man.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
So how many years ago was that? That was twenty nineteen,
five years ago, so you have five years sober?
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah, yeah, So does quit saying.
Speaker 5 (31:48):
Nine CB he counts as as breaking it, because like, well.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
This is it?
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Does it does in the strictest sense?
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Yeaheah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
So, like I would go to meetings and then I'd
be like I got a few days, right, and then
they'd be like well what happened because all these people
knew me for years?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Oh so you did bounce it back?
Speaker 4 (32:03):
Oh yeah, and I would go and since then I
just go, what the fuck cares?
Speaker 2 (32:06):
But but well, this is where your ego and your
lack of humility shows and why you'll probably end up
a drunk in a gutter because you are in deny
on you son up a bitch.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Sure, but I would absolutely, but I would like go
to meetings and then people would be like, you have
like two weeks and I'd be like, yeah, man, you know, CBD,
and then like it start this whole controversy in the
area that I would go to meetings where people be like, no, dude,
that's not a thing, like you know, So like I
every and every meeting I would go people, I would
have to raise my hand and go, you know, I'm
(32:38):
I'm a drunk, but I got you.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
Know, two weeks clean now and.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
I had that, I had five and now I have three?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
How much?
Speaker 2 (32:46):
You just don't fucking be stupid and do it. And
you knew I didn't. Secretly you knew it was wrong
because you didn't tell your sponsor. Course, so that's the thing.
We all know what we're doing. We're all a little shifty.
Oh yeah, we'll be like, oh who can I keep
this from? But now you feel like you've accepted this.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
Yeah, and it's tough. I don't look at it as
like two breaks in my sobriety.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I just kind of go like, let mean two breaks
or breaks we got.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
I guess a break.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
There was never a different one, no, okay.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
So but I just look at more as like I
mean like two parts, meaning like before and after. I
don't look at it as that. I just go like, yeah,
it's just I've just been trying to do this.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
This is like part of your journey.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
Yeah, girl, I've been trying not to die.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Well, even though you're a fall down, dirty, lying drunk,
kind of secret drunk not drinking at this moment. Do
you think you'll ever pick up?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
I don't think so, but you never know. You never know.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Yeah, I mean you hang out with Nick how sober.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
At some point the misery. Yeah, here's our first letter
of to date, Lisa. I've been sober for two years
and just started dating someone who drinks socially. He's not
a problem drinker, but I find myself getting resentful and
triggered anyway. Am I being unfair or is it just
one of those your recovery comes first things?
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Who is this?
Speaker 4 (34:10):
This is Derek thirty seven, Seattle.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Okay? First of all, clearly they're gaze. Yeah, because he
said he's just dating a guy.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
That's all wrong on that level. I drink too if
I was taking it in the ass, wouldn't you, Celia? Yes,
she would wait a minute. So I that is a
weird question. I think me personally, I've seen it work
both ways. I have a friend who's sober and his
husband drinks like occasionally, and it's no big deal because
(34:42):
he's been sober so long. It wouldn't affect him anyway.
He's even like, come on, David needs a drink to
come down. But then I would think I would find
it hard and I might be resentful if I couldn't say,
in my case, be like if I can't have cake
and house, I resent the boyfriend for having a cake. Yeah,
(35:03):
you know. So what do you think as someone who's
actually sober and gone through this.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Yeah, and married to a drunk I'm kidding, but I listen.
I think that there's something wrong with your sobriety if
you can't be around alcohol at all. And I think
that like if you know, if you're being triggered, that's
a that's a sign for you to focus on yourself,
(35:29):
not for you to judge what the other person is doing,
because if you have good boundaries, you can be in
a relationship with anybody. Not to say that you should
pick a fall down drunk, but it sounds like this
guy is pretty socially just having some drinks and it
shouldn't affect you at the level that does.
Speaker 4 (35:48):
So it's like, you know, for you point the finger.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
There's four more point back at you. Well, so the fact.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
There's only three more, yeah, because you.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Wait if you're putting this and something goes right up
his ass because he's good. So I think it's like
if when the word resentment comes in, what he resents
is that the world can drink and he can't because
it's a it's a chemical thing. He cannot drink and live.
(36:20):
So he has to work on his resentment of his
life circumstances and the boo, who I can't drink shit?
Is that correct? Because it really has nothing to do
with the husband.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
No, it's it's like I mean, yeah, if you can't
handle being round it, that's on you.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Man, Like, what's the difference between this and someone's like, hey,
I work in a bar.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
I'm idiot.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Okay, So basically there are bounds.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
There's other places to work. You know.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I was trained at American Bartending Academy. I got my certificate.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Yeah, so it's it's.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
It's like sort of there are lines that I remember.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
I remember this kid.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
They were like, well, I have to work at this
bar because there's music at the bar and music is
my higher power. And I said, well, you're a fucking idiot.
It's just like, you know, it's like we can build
ways to get back to where we want to be
and do the shit we want to do.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
That's a slip that guy. That's a complicated bridge because
think about it too. Music. I can't hear it anywhere
else but a bar. If there's only a device I
could carry with me with headphones that put music directly
in my ear, I know I'll go invent one. I
know they can get to the laboratory invent one. You
dumb hunt. I hate people.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
I heard it all. Next letter, Next letter, h This
is from Cat. She's thirty three years old.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
My target group.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
She's in shit Cago.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Okay, dear Lisa, I'm in love with someone who's in
early recovery. I want to be supportive, but I don't
know where the line is between helping and enabling. What
does a healthy relationship with a sober person act.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I'll tell you what it looks like. No contact until
a year sober. Even I know you have to be
sober off the drug before you date. So he is
breaking a rule.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
Yes, and Kat, if you are really into someone that's
in early recovery, there's something wrong with you exactly.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
And trying to rescue, rescue, rescue, because guess what will happen?
Do you know this whole thing about the victim triangle?
My shrink told me about this thing. So somebody makes
themselves the victim, and there's a triangle. At one side
you could be either rescuer or the other side is
the villain. So what happens is Cat is going to
rescue this little dopey cocksucker, this oxy addict I'm imagining
(38:41):
or drinking of the Belvedere, you know what that is.
And so she's gonna rescue him. She'll be the madonna
for a while where oh my everything, you help me
stay sober, and then she'll look askance at him one
night when he looks like he's going to take a drink,
and then he's the villain, so he gets to just
(39:03):
play this little game. So, boyfriend, if you're listening, just
put down the pussy.
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Yeah, for a year, dump the cunt.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Yeah. Yeah, well that was a little harsh, but that's okay.
It's your new bumper sticker. I think, Wait, so you
did you actually wait a year? I mean you were
at the time really gross.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
I was.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
I can't make it, but not even just that, you're
just gross. I didn't even know you then, but I
imagine you were even more heinous, yeah than when I
met you.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Yeah, I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Girls actually like you.
Speaker 4 (39:37):
Oh listen, you know I could be very charming.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
No, but I remember I was in early sobriety and
I bought about ten triple xcel Hawaiian shirts on Amazon.
I was wore those every day in the winter, and
then on the bottom half. I know you were wondering
I was. I was rocking. H I was rocking linen pants. Literally,
(40:03):
I dressed like I was going to a lou out. Yeah, yeah,
and it was. I mean, I was just insane, but
I was I'm gonna be comfortable, you know, like that
was my life.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
You know, I was double shit, I'm gonna be comfortable now.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
So I was really walking around all lou out out
every day. And I ended up meeting someone in recovery
that was just far more mentally ill than I was,
but a nice person, and we had a little relationship
and yeah, she just you know, it's just it wasn't
the right thing for me.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
But you know, wait, so you didn't wait the year?
Speaker 4 (40:38):
No, dude, I was a needy bitch. Okay you picked.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Up twice, first the clam and then the CBD. So
no one's perfect, especially you, mister bau mcdowells. So yes, this,
this relationship is the one in the letter Doomed. As
doom can be step away from the drunk, he should
step away from the clam. Next letter.
Speaker 4 (41:00):
All right, this is from Aaron in latch Matt.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Is it spelled Aaron E r Iron or a r.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
O n It's Aaron E r I in chick Okay,
go ahead, here we go, Dear Lisa.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
I got married seven months ago, and I noticed that
my husband is eating and drinking like we're still on
our honeymoon. He's definitely happy, but he's getting fat. Do
I say something? Why did my wife friend?
Speaker 4 (41:25):
I don't like this.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
By the way, have you like started eating like you
have nine rectums after the honeymoon?
Speaker 4 (41:33):
No, but on the honeymoon I did.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
And now I'm like, I'm starting to get a little
bit of it under control.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:39):
Yeah, yeah, I've.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Been doing a little bit more like Okay, we're not
going to eat our feelings today, Like that's yeah, That's
where I'm at.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
But yeah, no, I definitely put on a future.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
It makes sense. Well, okay, so what Celia.
Speaker 5 (41:50):
Go said a question? Oh yes, I've seen like in
TV shows and stuff that people after they stop to
quit whatever it is to be smoking, drinking, that they
eat a lot of sweat eats.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
Did that happen to you?
Speaker 4 (42:01):
Oh yeah really?
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Oh, Celey, I gotta send you old picture. No, he
was so disgusting, and I don't think fat is disgusting.
Bo was just a disgusting human. Like he would eat
even now sometimes I'm like, you know, there's grease on
your hand right, Like he just has no awareness of
like the broccoli growing up of the face and all that.
(42:24):
He's gotten a lot better to eat with. Yeah, yeah,
but yeah, you were just messy.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Mean yeah, sweets anything. I had a buddy that was
like obsessed with milkshakes. He put on fifty pounds just
on milkshakes.
Speaker 5 (42:38):
Wo dude, I saw him shameless, like want of lip.
The character gets sober and he goes to the diner
every single time after a meeting and they get every
single type of pie.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Well at the diner that you always know when there's
a sober table, Yeah, because it's always a table, really
long table of guys who look almost homeless, but just
a counter above homeless. And you're like, oh, those guys
are in program. Yeah, you know, and it is really
a tradition of going. You go out after I even
remember you.
Speaker 5 (43:07):
It is key bonding. You know, they have not chips
after the meeting too, you know, like we all support
each other.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Well, I do like that. I used to go to
this meeting for I guess Coda in Westport, Connecticut, and
afterwards it was like a diner thing. But then I
started going to an alan on in Fairfield and the
women just are so repulsive as humans. That all they
did was complain at the lunch after about their husbands
(43:36):
who are drunks, And I'm like, and in my head,
I'm going, well, why are you with him? I can't
fuck with women who stick with a drunk. I just
that's my limit. I couldn't do it. But I'm like, really,
you love him? How much fun is it living with
that guy? But also again, they're rescuers big time.
Speaker 4 (43:55):
Yeah, yeah, you have no talents for anyone.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
That's stuck I have, I'm like, get help. I like, yelled.
There's a woman in my comedy class, my adult class,
who I just got sick of her shit. I like
her a lot. She's so fucking talented, and I got
so mad because she's so good but won't even do
an open mic that I thought I was kidding, but
I said to her something like, you really need somatic therapy.
(44:21):
I mean, you really got to shake out why you're
not moving forward. And she's like, my age. I go,
if you don't call my fucking coach, don't come back
to comedy class.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
So he and I get on a zoom and goes, oh,
by the way, thanks for the referral. I'm like to
who like I forgot Yeah, and he goes to so
and so and I go, she called you goes, Yes,
she told me that you threatened her that you wouldn't
let her back at the class, and I go, I
don't remember that, but it sounds like me.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
I probably would have cried.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
Yeah, she didn't. And guess what she said. Her life
is changing. She's not crediting me, She's just going I
finally had a look at all that stuff. Yeah, so
I kind of feel like I'm a higher power. But anyway,
back to the subject at hand.
Speaker 4 (45:01):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, Wait.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Should she what about his fatness? What's the question?
Speaker 4 (45:05):
Definitely happy, but he's getting fat? Do I say something?
Speaker 2 (45:09):
He knows there's a mirror, there are pants that aren't
quite fitting the way that you used to. I remember
thinking when I was overeating and stuff. Oh that's a
sign of me not working on something within me, and
my coping mechanism is eating. There's something wrong here inside me.
(45:31):
You know, I don't know, would you? I mean, it's
different with women and men. I think if you tell
a woman she's getting fat, it's all over. It's done,
because their self image is so based on that, because
of society, what would you do if say your wife
said to you bo, you're putting on a few.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
I would probably be like, yeah, I know, I'm very
like open about like where I'm at with my you
are so she's like he's almost as like she'll be
like you actually look good like you look and I'm like,
you don't understand, Like I understand, I'm disgusting. I'm way
more harsh on myself than she is. And I feel like,
you know, women give a lot more of rope with that. Yeah,
(46:13):
you know, like they're just you're they they're a little
bit kinder. But if yeah, if my wife ever was
like struggling with her weight, I would probably never say anything,
and I would probably ask how she's feeling about, like
you know, like life, how are you doing?
Speaker 4 (46:29):
Like what's going on?
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Well, see your wife, I met her once. She's quite small.
She could gain a few.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
Yeah you do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (46:38):
Like she's not a person oh red flag she got
up suicides four she's fat. So so it's like I
think with women too, like oh, it's just so tied
to their self worth. A lot of guys are just
fat and happy right there, Toady Beer, Yeah, she used
to call you bow bear. I wanted to throw up.
I was like what because I remember one day you
(46:59):
were like you were so stupid you forgot what was
it Valentine's Day? Yeah, it was your first Valentine's Day.
She's away on a business trip. I go, so, did
you send flowers to the hotel?
Speaker 4 (47:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (47:10):
And you're like, whoa what? And I go, dude, that's
the move, Like you're you're barely dating. You gotta send
her the flowers.
Speaker 4 (47:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (47:23):
Okay, So I go, what do you? I ordered them
for you? And I go what's on the card? And
you go, oh, whatever, stupid ship you said, and sign
it bo bear. I'm like, I'm gonna throw up, like literally,
you owe me dinner for this stupid having to type
the words bow bear.
Speaker 4 (47:40):
But you just have to do Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
I know you got me. But yeah, So it is
really delicate with male female ship like that.
Speaker 4 (47:48):
Yeah. Yeah, but you're right, we.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Know we're gaining, yes, and we know it's almost like
you you don't like excellently fall in a bag of
Chip's head for you fat fuck. It's so sad. It's
almost like if he was self aware, he could say, uh, honey,
I know I'm getting a little I'd love to explore
what's going wrong with me or what's going on, but
(48:13):
most people have such shame around food and body image
stuff that they won't say that.
Speaker 4 (48:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
And I also grew up with the mom that like,
if I gained any weight, like she would like pull
my shirt up and like touch my belly in front
of my friends, be like.
Speaker 4 (48:28):
Oh, look, he's putting on some pounds. So like wow.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Like I like, if someone's gonna be like, hey, you're
putting on weight, I'm like, yeah, Well, so.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
My advice to them is that she should divorce him, yes,
because he's getting fat and it's gonna get worse. Disgusting, disgusting.
Bo thank you so much for being a guest today.
Are you happy you came in?
Speaker 4 (48:52):
I'm thrilled.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
Are you so happy you're going to stay for a
second episode? Because we got to literally none of the
questions I had prepared for you.
Speaker 4 (49:00):
All I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Do was talk about like relationships after and during sobriety
and things. So stick around Bow Where can they find you?
Once again?
Speaker 4 (49:10):
At Bau McDowell comedy, Bo is spelled b e au.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
You, which, by the way, all right, this asshole. I'm
a big fan of weddings. Well, when Bo got married
last year, sadly, I already had plans. No, I really did.
Speaker 4 (49:26):
I was.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
I was pissed that I couldn't go, but it was something.
It was kind of you got married last minute, even
though she's not even knocked up. I know, so was
volunteer for you to be this stupid. So I get
the freakin' invitation and they used their formal names. I
almost threw up this pretentious white parents of yours named you.
(49:52):
Listen to this name Celia guy.
Speaker 5 (49:54):
I put him in security.
Speaker 4 (49:55):
I know it.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
It was horrible.
Speaker 4 (49:57):
Go ahead say it, James de.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
Okay, I like it. It's fucking stupid, and I'll tell
you why. Because they're white trash living in Wilton, Connecticut
above their means, don't got a possible pot to pisson.
And they named themselves after a French fag, kind of
like a salad dressing. That's what it sounds like. It's dumb.
You really are the Royalty of Wilton.
Speaker 5 (50:19):
It kind of sounds like one of my like southern
guy friends names like they would be named.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
I know, and they actually probably have some breeding and money,
unlike the low life's race who raised him. No, it's
not sad.
Speaker 4 (50:33):
They're fine folks.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Bou debaujaljel oh. I hate you. We'll find them or don't.
At Bow McDowell Comedy and listen. I'm gonna have to
do nix't job, which I hate. Thank you for listening. No, okay,
I'll do it. Okay, wait, thanks for listening so insincere.
(50:58):
Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Bo
that felt worse. I didn't mean either. Okay. If you want,
send us a letter to shrink this show at gmail
dot com. Also make sure to follow me at least
Lamani and listen to the podcast on the iheartapp or
wherever you get your podcasts. Bitch
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