Introducing: Soccer Moms

Welcome to the SOCCER MOMS podcast—an improvised comedy centered around true friendship and the absurd world of youth sports. Recorded from a minivan. Obviously.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcast presents Soccer Moms.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
So I'm Leanne. This is my best friend Janet, and
we have been joined at the hips since high school.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Absolutely now a redacted amount of years later, we're still
joined at the hip, just a.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Little bit bigger, hips wider. A completely improvised comedy.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
This is a podcast.

Speaker 4 (00:20):
We're recording it as we tailgate our youth soccer games
in the back of my Honda honysty.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
With all the snacks and drink sidebar.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Why did you get hard Seltzer instead of beer?

Speaker 1 (00:30):
They hit a bogo. Well, then you go with weekly
guest stars from the world of entertainment and sports.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
What are y'all doing microphones? Are you making a rap album?
I would I would buy it.

Speaker 5 (00:43):
And he just cuts through like a hot knife through
sponge cake.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
That sounds delicious, honestly.

Speaker 5 (00:51):
Oh, you're lucky.

Speaker 6 (00:52):
I'm not a drug addict, You're not an alcoholic.

Speaker 7 (00:55):
You're lucky.

Speaker 6 (00:56):
I'm not a killer.

Speaker 7 (00:58):
Micky.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Where you got drivers the airport shuttle?

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:01):
I love you Mom, I love you.

Speaker 8 (01:02):
Joe.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
My ear got bitten by a polar bear.

Speaker 8 (01:04):
I jumped in the polar bear when I was eight
years old.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
I thought it was cute. I wanted to hug it.

Speaker 4 (01:07):
I didn't know any better.

Speaker 5 (01:08):
I'm not smart, but.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Hey are many types of intelligence.

Speaker 6 (01:12):
I love this team, and I'm really trying to be
a figure in their lives that they can rely on.

Speaker 7 (01:17):
Oh, he seems like a good coach.

Speaker 8 (01:23):
I do think he is a good role model. I
do think he might have killed his wife.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Listen to Soccer Moms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.