April 7, 2026 • 34 mins
Leanne and Janet trade humiliating health updates and the kids’ beloved principal, Deb (Jaime Moyer), makes her joyous debut.
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The Soccer Moms Roster:
Katie Rich: instagram.com/genelafunk
Holly Laurent: instagram.com/hollylaurent
Leanne & Janet: instagram.com/BFFSoccermoms
Jaime Moyer: instagram.com/jamdetroit, as seen on Bob's Burgers and Modern Family!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Big week. Here, do you have a week? By the way,
I'm Leanne. This is my best friend Janet. We're in
the back of my Honda Odyssey doing a podcast that
was born out of necessity to deal with the insane
boredom that is a children's soccer game that we have
to endure because of our lovely kids.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
But we get to tailgate and stay caught up yep,
and bring you into the warm fire of our friendship.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Anyway, this is soccer soccer moms. Okay, so really big week.
So I've been having these stomach issues, right, I mean,
and I've always kind of had stomach issues because I
eat like a dog, you know, like a dog won't
stop and so I'll just keep going, like a dog
will eat till it dies.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I think about a goldfish like that.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Oh is it a goldfish?
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Yeah, a goldfish will eat till I explode.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I think, is that real?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And then you and I can both be goldfish because
you are a goldfish and that you don't stop eating
and I'm a goldfish, and that the little plastic castle
is a surprise.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Every single time I try to remember, can't remember it anything.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
So that's what I always chalked it up to like, yeah,
it's got to be that.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Yeah, no, it's not.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
So.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Finally I get an appointment, doctor's appoint You make a
doctor's appointment and you have to wait like a year.
Are so in demand, I know, they're like the best
restaurant in town. They're like, we don't have any openings.
I finally get the doctor's appointment. I have gird. Gird.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Gird gird sounds like an old man issue done it.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
It sounds like the sounds a man makes as he ages.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, it sounds like the noises that come out of
someone's dying trachea as the gladiator is killing them in
the Colisey Death.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
No, gard isn't good an acronym.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yes, it's like gastro intestinal. And I didn't even bother.
I was like, okay, I don't even gastro and textinal reflexes.
I don't know what it is. Oh that sounds right,
Oh intestinal begins with an eye on me. Anyway, I
have gird okay, which is just humilia. It sounds humiliating, right, fun?
And guess what the treatment is? What pepsid? Who else
(02:04):
takes pepsid?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Your dog? My dog?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
My gosh, you get to share meds.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
So my dog. So for once, it's okay that I'm
dipping into the dog's mass.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
That's right, can you believe it?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
So as soon as I find this out, I get
on the phone. Phone's busy. I'm congenet. She's calling me
because guess who else had big news?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
And it also starts with a G. Yes, And it's
not that I found God.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, it's that I have gout, which seems to me
like a Shakespearean disease. Like you're only gonna hear a
flute in the background, Yeah, of someone who has gout.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yes, you know what I mean. It's like.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
It seems like something that should have been eliminated, right, Yeah,
that the only people that know about it study things
in college.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Also seems like an old man disease, gout.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It also sounds like a sound that an old man
makes out. Yeah, that's when the gladiator dies, when they're
stabbed real quick.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
And then death is gout, A real messy is gourd.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
And I think I have figured out why I got
gout because it's that pop up that opened up right
by my house. You're black and my sort and I
was getting those lobster rolls. I probably have four lobster
rolls a week.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
What. Yeah, So my question is this, where are they
getting the lobsters. We live in a Midwestern state.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Yeah, we're land locked. Well the great well there's great
big count.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
No, there's no lobsters, right, so where is this meat
coming from? It's flown in, But they're too cheap.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
I always justify eating lobster in Illinois with what is that?
I think Will Michael Jordan lived here and he probably
ate a lot of lobster, and I imagined that like
Michael Jordan had like lobster flown in.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
That's not You're not eating Michael Jordan lobster.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I know, but I like to feel like I am.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
You're eating you know, Mike Jordan. You know, Mike Jordan lobster,
Mike Jordan, lobster, mikey Oh, mikey Jordan. So I have
to tell you if that's really what's happening, I think
you dodged a bullet by only getting gout.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Why what else could I have gotten?
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You're eating who knows what that's being past his lobster
dunked in mayonnaise, and you're eating it so much. Here's one.
How long is a pop up a pop up before
it's just a store?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I know it's been there. It's been there for like
a year. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I don't want it to go, although maybe if it
goes then I won't have Wait, can you get rid
of gerd and gout?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Or is this us forever?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Now?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Well? Yes, I mean you could change your diet.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
But well I can do that. I get on kicks,
as you know. I get on kicks and then that's
all I want to eat forever. And then I eat
that for three or four months and then I never
eat it again.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
So you're so But you're taking a pill as well?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, I have. I'm not a prescription. I can't even
pronounce it.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
It's all a pure and all.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I didn't even tell Larry I have it. I'm embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I didn't tell Donna had gird Really no.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
I think you have to sleep with pillows like you
have to sleep sitting up.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
That's what they said. They're like, if could you sleep
on a wedge pillow?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I was like, what, Well, what will you tell don
about why you're wedged?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
He won't care, you know, what. He'll like it because
he'll be like, now finally you're using all the freaking pillows, Like,
he'll be happy that I'm using the pillows.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
When they first said gout, I said, I think you've
been mistaken because I've been misdiagnosed before. Remember when I
had act in it caratosis or whatever, which is a
skin condition that normally happens on like eighty year old men.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, and they said that that's what you had, and
it turned out you were just allergic to the face
creamy or you exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I think it had like human stem cells in it
or something, but which.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Is what they can't do human stem cells. I don't
think they can. Then how can they charge that much?
I was like, there better be humans in this if
it cost better be what Michael Jordan's I know, on
his skin? Would Michael Jordan fly this in? Yes? Really
you're having those are Mikey Jordan's cells?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Oh no, here, I got my face cream from Mikey
Jordan down a street.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
What will you still eat?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Like?
Speaker 3 (05:56):
What's going to be worth it? Like worth the gourd,
worth the girl.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Wait, that's a good segment. Yeah, okay, that could be
a segment.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Okay, what's worth it? Okay?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Okay? So so what triggers gout is very like rich food.
I mean, like, right now I'm eating a classic laid
potato chip and drinking a hard saltzer. So that's probably
not great.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I think a classic lay potato chip has potassium in it.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
It does?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
It does?
Speaker 1 (06:21):
It has more potassium than a banana.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Marathon runners eat chips. Yeah, so they must be and
they drink beer.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
See, okay, so this is good. So what's worth it?
What would we be willing to eat knowing that it
is going to destroy our body the next day?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Speaking of lazed potato chips, I think it's worth it
to take LA's potato chips and dip it in either
sour cream or I'll even go Greek yogurt.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
It's so good.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
What yep saw me in half? I like to dip
a chip and Greek yogurt. I also really I also,
you know, I have one slice of toast every single morning.
But what I've started to do is like sprinkle a
little salt, like the good salt you know that you
have in the bowl by the.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Side of it, I understand. And the salt it's the
salt for company Company Salt, Company salt.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I've been sprinkling my company salt on my buttered toast
in the morning, and I think that's worth I.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Know, I've got to be terrible for gout.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I don't understand why salt is so bad. It's just
a rock, right, We're basically just gnawing on rocks and minerals.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Salt like just a.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
It's because it dehydrates you. I think salt used to
be very important. That's where the word salary comes from.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Really, salary is in your paycheck comes from saltce.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Salt used to be so valuable.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
That's how you were paid and salt.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, but don't google it because I might be wrong.
What's worth it?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:34):
What's worth it for you?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
What's worth the euros a hero heros from.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Nicky's m with the full peda and the full sauce
and the extra sauce.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, it's the euro that would be worth it.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
The only time I went to New York, Remember we
had to go. Yeah, we had to go for that
conference that don wasn't even invited to. But he found
out about it, and he thought he was hustling if
he went but anyway, you know how they have the
meat on the show in New.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
York me worth it a street meet worth it.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
It is, And I'll tell you why, because I've already
done it. I'm like you with the lobster roles. I
had street meat. It was a euro that I bought
from a man on the street and I ate it
and then I threw up like nobody's business that night,
and then before we went to the airport, I.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Got another one.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Oh, and that one was okay, yeah, And I was okay.
I mean, you're you're gambling with your life. You know,
you're always gambling. But it was so good. It was
so good that even you know how food poisoning is
supposed to turn you off to something, that's the testimonial,
And so I was thinking, like that guy should use
that as a testimonial, Like I got food poisoning, and
then I still want it more.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
You know what, I don't think we've ever talked about before.
And I was shocked, and.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I was like, I have to bring this up to
Leanna immediately. What what are the insects that you kill
and what are the insects you take outside? I wonder
if we have the same.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Oh yeah, you know what, it just happened today. So
I never kill a spider unless the spider is directly
involved on my person.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I have goosebumps, right, Nalie, because that is mine too.
And I knew you were going to say that. And
as you know, I've always been terrified of spiders. They
are used to from a kid.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, they put that in us.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I think I used to be like murder immediately. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I keep hearing stuff where if there are spiders in
you know, woo woo, Sorry saw me in half, But
I keep hearing that if there are spiders around you,
this is a very auspicious good sign.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Ooh auspicious that's the word of that. You got to
use it through March.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
No, that one I've had, that one was realized from
last year' yeah that was when.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
This's a good one. That's the far side, oh the
far that calendar.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
That was a good one.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
So I agree with that. I'm not super into the
woo woo part of it, but the scientific part of it.
You know, if you see a spider, it's gonna you
know me if I can get bit up in the winter,
like I don't know how they find me, I don't know,
but like a mosquito. Remember the one time we went
camping and it looked like I had leprosy. I mean
I had about like fifty bites and you didn't have nothing.
(10:04):
And it was just like, okay, they did two hundred bites.
I think it were a hundred and it was just
my legs.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
And that's a straight for me. Straight to murder is mosquitos.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
I will murder a mosquito every time I don't feel bad.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Murder spread disease, and yeah I will too. My big one,
which I just killed today in the bathtub, was centipedes,
the house centipedes.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
That's tough on.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, And that's a tough one because I have heard
that they're good, that they do help kill the things
that you know, but they're they're so vile looking there. Yeah,
they're aggressively vile that it's hard for me not to
just the instinct in me to be like that. They
should not be here.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
It's too many legs.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
It's too too many legs. It's too much.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
But yeah, for spiders, it's mostly I'm not gonna let
you live in my space. I get a little too
creepy crawling for that I am going to take you out.
Some people have been like, you can live here, it's fine.
I'm sure there are some living with us, and as
long as I don't know about it, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Yeah, I feel that way, but I do think there's
been times where I try to get it and I can't,
and then I say, oh, well, you know now you
live here.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
May I compliment you for a second on something always?
This is a way in which you enrich my life
that I don't know if.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I always, always and forever.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I save the good stuff instead of using it, and
you use it.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Gotta use it.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
You bring the expensive candle home and you light it immediately.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You gotta use it.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I brought you that olive oil for breeze, and I
immediately it was gone within a week. You and I
hold on to things and then the olive oil goes bad.
I gotta be like you, leanne, I gotta use it,
enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
What are you waiting for? Exactly?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Like? Isn't if I'm saving it for a special occasion
like a smoke? Is that saving it for a special
occasion is an insult to the moment I'm living in
right now?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Isn't it?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
That's beautiful, right, Yes, that is beautiful, and I agree
with that.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I agree with that, And there is nothing besides the
moment we're in right now.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
This is all we got.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I agree with that. No, I definitely, I say, you
use it. You know, you use the fancy perfume, you
use it.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
You just you have?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Which is this the alta one you got?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Because yeah, that's what this is? Is isn't nice? Yeah?
Now I'm doing vanilla. You like it? Okay?
Speaker 3 (12:31):
I like this. This might be my favorite. I can't
believe that's just an alta, that's.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
All it is. It was like five dollars. It was
like five dollars at the counter. Oh no, good job. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Fence defense.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
I like that. You always say defense because I think
that that applies always.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Right, because somebody's doing defense.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Somebody's saying defense.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
I don't know, well, I guess sometimes it's the other team. Hey,
I meant to tell you. I ran into Jackie.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Kate and she no way is she?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
She and Bill have separate homes now and they're they
never been great.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
They're too homes. But he's the litigator for McDonald's or something.
I mean, they have all that money.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, but she says it's the best thing for their
marriages living in their own houses.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I agree. I agree. I think the older we get,
the more space we need. And I just if I could,
you know, once Scott moves out, when he's probably forty,
then I will have I'm gonna make my own little room. Yeah,
I have to.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
I wonder the degree to which all of us are
just like replicating our parents' marriages unconsciously.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Whether we want to or not.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Like I look at my parents marriage and I'm like,
if I'm really assessing the situation, Like I don't want
a marriage like theirs?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Am I trying to replicate that?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Can?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I will tell you what I think the issue was
with your parents' marriage. What they were too thin? I
think they were hungry all the time. That's true, because
they they both were just so obsessed with being thin.
And I think, honestly, they were just hungry all the time,
and that's why they fought. Mm hmm, yeah, that's why
they fought. And I had big you know how happy
babies are big babies. Yeah, Like, I just had two
(14:13):
big parents, and I think that they were just never
hungry and that's why.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Yeah, it was good.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Just think, when you throw yourself into someone's arms, you
want to feel a body there.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
You don't want to feel a skeleton.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Oh you aaming it's alarming. I agree, I agree. So
the doctor has the nerve to tell me to lose weight.
I say, oh, I'm happy, but what are.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
You gonna do?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Nothing better than a happy baby.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Nothing better than a happy baby.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And I want to throw myself into your arms. I
want to be held by you all the time.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Sometimes when you need to.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I love it when you catch me looking at that
long line of cleavage in your bosoms. I'm mostly just
imagining lying the side of my cheekbone down on your
breast and taking a nab.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
I wish that we could desexualize breasts because they are
so comfortable. And I'm telling you, no pillow top match
is gonna compete with my yabos because they are just
so comfortable. Sometimes I stick my finger in between them
and it's just real comforting. Look at that that does.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
That made me feel comfort in my solar plexus, just
seeing you just stick a digit in there.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Oh my god, I love some I brought you.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I brought you your favorite. These are ten bags of
my Christmas mix of tea. It's a strange flavor for summer,
but it's still good and.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I can't tell me. Oh my gosh. Okay, so so okay.
There's a principal, deb Principal Debbie. I guess it's the
full name. She is our kids principal. She's the greatest.
Oh my god, what are you doing.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
I'm gonna scare you gas by saying pet but I'm
not at this principle damp get scoot out my back,
I know it, my neck, I know and my other things.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
A white curse up here?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Just oh, I love Cherry Cherry made.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah, Cherry live aid it and we got the A
C cranking even though we're in park.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
I love that. Don't tell anyone. I'm going to have
a sip. You know. It's just been a little stressful
inside the office today. I'm trying to pop out what
are y'all doing? Microphones? Are you making a like a
WEE wrap?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I would, I.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Would buy it.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I would, Oh my gosh, stream it.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
We you know, we we love our we love Scott
and Bow, but.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
These games games, they're not example entertaining.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Do we start a podcast? Just how fun do you
want to be on it? On it right now? You
are on it?
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Shut your but I'm on it.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Is this your first podcast?
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I've never done one. I have listened a little bit
to the Cereal Oh yeah yeah podcast about Cereal Sponsorsosia.
You wouldn't imagine how many different combos of serial there are.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
The mascots.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Oh right, so fun PD.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I grew up going to Battle Creek in Michigan, where
we will go tour the like cereals and stuff. Does
ours public school have any kind of like field trips
like that?
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Well, you know what, I have some parental forms to
kind of take the kids any old where I want.
Oh yeah, so that's a fun trip. Oh yeah, get
in the van, you know, I got us a van.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
I know. It's great.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Yeah, it's really nice.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
It's really nice actually, and it smells nice.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
It smells great in there. Well, I slept in there
a couple of nights just so I could be at
the school the minute the door is open. And you know,
I live forty eight miles away, so I just want
to be there to greet them. I just want to
be the face they see when they come through the
door to start their day learning. And growing as tiny
little humans.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Oh well, for those of you who don't know Principal
deb she routinely every time I'm dropping bow off, she's
always at the front door. High five yep, high five
in And different kids have different dance smooth.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
And you remember each kids move and you do it with.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Them, whether you can do it or not's incredible.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
That's right. I learned how to do the douggie and
I know how to do the cabbage patch. There's a
lot of high fives, elbows, I go through more hands handy.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Oh, I know, but that's you got to keep them safe.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Well, you got to keep them safe, got to keep
yourself safe. Kids don't wash their hands.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Scott.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
How many times do you get sick in a calendar
school year?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
I'm probably every other week. I've got some kind of something. Yeah,
you know, but it's okay. You push your the paint.
Who's going to be there for him? Honey?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
You're fostering in what.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Vice? Principal Tampson in the car talking to he is
so high maintenance.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I hate dam he do too, And I don't know,
you know, having him under you, God, I would, I
know who would? Who would?
Speaker 4 (18:56):
I mean it's you know, he's been thrice married.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yeah, no kidding, no kidding, and.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Sending three women out into the world with the first
three letters of the four letters of tampon.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I'm come on, come on, but I will say, think
the good lord. He's not your boss. You see what
I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
I'm his boss, and I think that's part of the problem.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Is I'm sure that's that's gott to drive him nothing.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
You know what he just texted me, what where are you? Please? Business?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
It's Saturday morning.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Saturday morning? Where are you?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
I'm so glad you're here. The kids are going to
go nuts when they see you here. And halftime, you
got to surprise everybody. They lose their minds. I'm serious.
The principal deb is like bluey to them. I mean,
they lose their minds. She's so spoked an Australian accent.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Can't All I know is you got to put a
y at the end of anything that ends in an oh.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Like.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
So if you're saying no, you have to say NOI
NOI no. So I remember before you were the principal.
You want to talk about it? Oh gosh, do you
remember this?
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (20:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:12):
What she used to work. She used to guard.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Yeah, started from the bottom out.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Hair and you got hit by a car and I
did a couple times.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Well, you know the thing is, even with the orange vest,
that corner, it's dead man's curve in front of a school.
And don't think I haven't gone to the local government.
I spoken to the mayor via email.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Oh I'm sure to be hit by two members.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
It just I feel like that's an indictment on the rig,
isn't it like rich people.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Are they don't see us as humans.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
They're like just driving as if you know, there's not
a woman in a vest and as an.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Orange vest, and I'm as a house I had red
hair at the time.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I was going to say, I just remember you had
that beef fifty two hair almost oh yeah, And it
was like the vest, the hair and then these beamers
like you did. I didn't see her, okay, come on.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Well, and I was in traction doing all my principal
duties right over at Saint Augustine's.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And you were walking with the walker with those tennis
balls on the bottom. Then you were you were in
the crosswalk with the walker. I remember that's what the
second hit happened.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
It wasn't working. I was just trying to cross.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Oh I didn't know that you were a million at the.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
Time, nightmare. Did I do anything to cross into these
doors and help these kids? I would do it.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I know you would.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
I know you board at home? Or do you really
get bored?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Even with the cat even with the cats?
Speaker 4 (21:41):
I mean, I love them all, but gosh, they you
know they're shedding right now. I just saw on weather,
just the weather. I just saw a necklace you can buy.
You put the cats shedded fur into it, seal it up,
and it's shaped like a cat. So I ordered a few.
I like, oh, that's it's nice. I mean, you know,
it's like Carrie and dander around your neck. But it's
not like I don't have dan drift on my neck.
(22:03):
It might as well.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I don't know how you get rid of dan drift. No,
I don't think it's possible.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah, you can't head and shoulders over it on my eyebrows.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
You know, I've noticed. I don't know if you have
an HMO or PPIO.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
But my no insurance, Oh no, they don't insurance.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
That's but my dermatologist is Dan tan as you know,
doctor tan. He put me on a medicated shampoo one
time that we It wasn't a head and shoulders, but
you know why. He medicated my shampoo for acne and
it worked. My hair was what was making me break out.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
I am stund.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Go grab another one.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Oh my god, thank you. But I have a lot
of work to do. You know. This is the day
that I go through all the files and I try
to make sure all the kids are updated on the
animals they like the best, and how they've done on
their math tests. Spend a lot of time on Saturday
just keeping clear on what their scores are and how
their parents are.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Big animal.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
Now with loving those lions, WANs I love a lion.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
The lions are probably still because a Kuna Matada was
such a strong and profound piece of music.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I know so many times.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
And I like lions because the females are the badasses.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Oh I love that. Tell that to Tampa.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Your phone is ringing again?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
What is that? This is my kiddie cam. They're inside
of the they're inside of their their you know little Yeah.
It's a condo and it's got these plastic windows so
they can go outside. And I put all those little
computers around and make it look like they're typing. They're
(23:55):
using their hands to do the thing that cats do
with their paws. It looks like they're type. It just
looks like if they type, do they get treats? I
I gotta say something. Get off of him, cat, No,
thank you, thank you?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Bo What you got on the TV for him?
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (24:14):
They're watching a Jerry Oh that's good. The drama.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Oh that's fun. I get that. Yeah, I get that fun.
But we're so happy that you came to the public sector.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Yes, you know, I was in parochial for years. Yeah,
and I decided to head over to New Schiller Academy
when I knew that I could do more and be more. Yep,
I left Saint Dale's. I'm here and I'm happy. These
kids are like my kids. Yeah, you know, if I
had over two hundred kids, it'd be these.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
And I know Scott, which is you were. I mean,
he would get rid of me. He'd sell me up. Heartbeat,
Oh my gosh, your mind, how good?
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I Yeah, went between the cats, the bro visits to
the physical therapy office from the two life altering car accident.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Yeah, yeah, and the kids exactly, you got two hundred kids.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Yeah, at least give and take. Sometimes they move and
it's sad. That's why I do that barn Yae Titanic
kind of wave off them.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Did you ever do Monassory?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
No?
Speaker 4 (25:19):
No, no, it's I'm good without my take your Waldorf school.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
I agree.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
I'm not going to be knitting dolls. No, great, I
got things to tea.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
What's the big doll?
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Now, it's just like you know blond of course.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Of course are you talking about Barbie dolls?
Speaker 4 (25:37):
No? No, this is a knit doll, but it could
be a Barbie blond.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And they're called blonds.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Yea, the blonds.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Oh, there were brats and now there's blondes. Oh wow,
and on both at the end of those.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
See this is right.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Sometimes I'm glad we have boys, Leande, because like I think,
boys are a little easier, we go to the er more,
but females are.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Complex to raise. Here's the thing. Boys are easier until
you're old, and then you got to hope that they
marry someone who will help take you. Boys won't take
care of you.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Don't cry.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
That is a really good sorry, all right, Yeah, I
just got a little bit of white clock up checked.
He do you hear, do you want a koozie? Put
put that in the kozi. Then it looks like a lacroix.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
My good, oh my god, look at them and that
cute you get spin it and you can see all
their heads to see them, you know, speaking a spin it.
I got us that spinner on the playground.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Oh it's beautiful, that's so cool. It is so so fun,
so fun, and it tires them out, which tires them out.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
You can see kids being thrown from that thing upwards
a ten feet to the side, so that.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
The wood chip.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
I'm always thinking, always thinking, because when I got my accident,
my dome hit that hard concrete, I say, we can't
have this happened and not a kid. And it's like
and also a little bit over by the swings. It's
that squishy.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Yeahhy sponge ground.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I mean, if you had been hit by a car
and a crosswalk and thrown into that smushy sponge, work
better working it out.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
And you know what Tamp loved when I was out
of it was the worst walking around like his like
his suit, don't stay by the way, three piece suit,
Come on, I mean, settle down, settle down.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
What are we trying to do?
Speaker 4 (27:25):
What do you try in finance?
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
I know what you make and it's a little less
than me because I'm the big pee and you're the
little peace.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
That's right, I know.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
We get out of there. My god. The cats in
the escape patch that's only.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
For cleaning the escape patch? Wow? Is that like a
doggy door?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Mouse?
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Mouse? We don't have a mouse in there? One of
those names?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
The cat by that mouse?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Okay, she moved down. You see this little door here
is what I use to get the tiny vacuum?
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Oh love an orange cat? An orange?
Speaker 4 (28:04):
Yeah, that's like Garfield, Yes, like Garfield exact.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Can I tell you Debbie how much I love Little Debbie's?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Do they still make it? Is that like a thing?
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, for sure, still making them?
Speaker 4 (28:19):
I got one in my what do.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
You go watch?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Watch?
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Watch might turn to the right.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
I know it's like p don't worry about it, don't
worry about it, don't worry about it, Star Crush, I'm serious, Jet,
It hasn't your day just gone through the roof better
because of deb.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
I can't believe I popped in and just saw you count?
What do they do it in there? With those microphones
making a wrap album.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Well, that's probably because we were helping Scott do his
rep for the talent.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
You remember when he did, he was a parody.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
And then but and then when the stopped working and
he can't acapela, he went a cappella.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
He starts swinging the mic like it was. It was so.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
I mean, I'm about number ninety nine. I didn't go
that many numbers over five and with no accompanying music.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
That's right. And Don did I tell you what Don said?
Don was worried because you know, everybody was cheering so much. Yeah,
he goes, I think they're cheering too much, like he
thought Scott might think he did bad. They were like
pity cheers, And I was like, that is so don
to think that, right, Like if somebody is happy and cheering,
(29:35):
like just appreciate it for what it is.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
Don't put lice my cheers.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
That's like tamp When the cheerleaders are practicing. He's going,
I don't know about this and that, and I go
get the helent back in the office. Let me give
these children their specialized greetings so they can get out
on the field and try to get to nationals.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Oh, yep, what is the one thing and it's okay
if it applies to us. What is the one thing
you wish parents would do that they don't do.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
I wish they'd look in their phones a little more.
The kids' phones. Their parents are already in their own right.
Why don't you check and see what they're looking on
at roadblocks?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
But why do they have phones when they're so little?
Speaker 4 (30:20):
That's also what I'm screaming. I think that no one
should be issued a phone until they're eighteen years old. Yeah,
but a lot of this is t mobile. They're the
devil and wireless go straight to hell. Get their noses
in a buck. I don't need to have a phone
YouTube at their fingertips.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
And I don't think kids should be able to drive
till they're twenty one.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Oh I love that.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
I mean a sixteen year old at the wheel. Have
you ever tried to talk to a sixteen year old?
It's terrifying.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
They're already not listening. Now you think they're going to
obey the laws.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Of the road, thank you.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Their skull isn't completely hardened yet. How are they supposed
to know if you can go right?
Speaker 1 (30:58):
On red.
Speaker 4 (30:59):
You're absolutely right. Their skull is almost like a cornucopia,
and all the food inside is their brain. Let that
cornicopia clothes hide the fruit.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Well, that's good.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Let's be surprised if there's an apple in there. We
don't need to see it. Brain.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
That's evocative. That was the word of the day.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Oh, evocative is a good word.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
I love that is that evoke? Evoke?
Speaker 1 (31:23):
So I got two more. I have to use it
four times.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Okay, So you've got one down, two to go.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
That's good. Do you want some chips or anything?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Yeah, we've got everything.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
I made breaks breakfast chext mixed.
Speaker 4 (31:34):
Mouth was really good in here. It smells like hot food.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, oh yeah, because we got caesos. We have hot Kso.
Speaker 4 (31:40):
Okay, but that's what I want to and some tostedos.
I'm good, and then I gotta get back in. I
got I spend my full Saturday here so I can
enjoy my Sunday with the cakes.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Okay, but will you at halftime? You have to just surprise.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Think they'll be surprised if I pop up, I put
my silasses on out.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Don't lose their bites.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
It's like I'll be back terminator. You got it, robot.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Do you have those Walgreen wrapper on glasses?
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Okay, put these in these.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
I can't wait for anything with my right arm. Got okay,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
I could do it.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
That looks exactly like Schwartz.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
And yes, I'm whipping my hair back and for nothing movement.
These sunglasses are good nine ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Keep them. We're bogo ninety keep them.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Wow, yeah, of course, of course. All right, we'll get
out there in high five these kids.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
So I got to watch this. Do you want help here?
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Please? Got you?
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Well?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
The door outdoors? Medical Ah, okay, no, you got it.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
I'm okay, go get.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Them, p D.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Get to your pet, p D.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
It was so nice. I love you. Thanks for the chips,
and get my drinks.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Come back any time.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Can I have these those doors? You could take them
with these peppermints in your purse.
Speaker 4 (32:58):
I'd love to.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
They're good.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
You know how well adjusted we'd be if we had
her when we were children.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Ly, Oh shut up, look dev's doing it. It's happening.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Kay, let me get it. Yeah, wow, look at that.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Oh she got some height on that.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Ooh had to kill for that mobility.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
Oh my god, charade. You got a how does she
notice that? There? He is Donald?
Speaker 1 (33:20):
He's damn that's cute.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
I thought his name was Ronald.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
So this is how did you about? He kind of
talks like that too, h Jill up the hill?
Speaker 4 (33:35):
Jack?
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 4 (33:36):
Where is he now? Where is He's? Your brother? Is
everything all right?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Where is jan?
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Soccer Moms is an improvised podcast created by Katie Rich
and Holly Laurent. It's produced by Noah Avior and Hans Sanni,
edited by Hannah Parsons, and original music composed by Julie Nichols.
Soccer Moms is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.
Big week. Here, do you have a week? By the way,
I'm Leanne. This is my best friend Janet. We're in
the back of my Honda Odyssey doing a podcast that
was born out of necessity to deal with the insane
boredom that is a children's soccer game that we have
to endure because of our lovely kids.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
But we get to tailgate and stay caught up yep,
and bring you into the warm fire of our friendship.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Anyway, this is soccer soccer moms. Okay, so really big week.
So I've been having these stomach issues, right, I mean,
and I've always kind of had stomach issues because I
eat like a dog, you know, like a dog won't
stop and so I'll just keep going, like a dog
will eat till it dies.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I think about a goldfish like that.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Oh is it a goldfish?
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Yeah, a goldfish will eat till I explode.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I think, is that real?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
And then you and I can both be goldfish because
you are a goldfish and that you don't stop eating
and I'm a goldfish, and that the little plastic castle
is a surprise.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Every single time I try to remember, can't remember it anything.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
So that's what I always chalked it up to like, yeah,
it's got to be that.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Yeah, no, it's not.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
So.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Finally I get an appointment, doctor's appoint You make a
doctor's appointment and you have to wait like a year.
Are so in demand, I know, they're like the best
restaurant in town. They're like, we don't have any openings.
I finally get the doctor's appointment. I have gird. Gird.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Gird gird sounds like an old man issue done it.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
It sounds like the sounds a man makes as he ages.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, it sounds like the noises that come out of
someone's dying trachea as the gladiator is killing them in
the Colisey Death.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
No, gard isn't good an acronym.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yes, it's like gastro intestinal. And I didn't even bother.
I was like, okay, I don't even gastro and textinal reflexes.
I don't know what it is. Oh that sounds right,
Oh intestinal begins with an eye on me. Anyway, I
have gird okay, which is just humilia. It sounds humiliating, right, fun?
And guess what the treatment is? What pepsid? Who else
(02:04):
takes pepsid?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Your dog? My dog?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
My gosh, you get to share meds.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
So my dog. So for once, it's okay that I'm
dipping into the dog's mass.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
That's right, can you believe it?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
So as soon as I find this out, I get
on the phone. Phone's busy. I'm congenet. She's calling me
because guess who else had big news?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
And it also starts with a G. Yes, And it's
not that I found God.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
No, it's that I have gout, which seems to me
like a Shakespearean disease. Like you're only gonna hear a
flute in the background, Yeah, of someone who has gout.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yes, you know what I mean. It's like.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
It seems like something that should have been eliminated, right, Yeah,
that the only people that know about it study things
in college.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Also seems like an old man disease, gout.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It also sounds like a sound that an old man
makes out. Yeah, that's when the gladiator dies, when they're
stabbed real quick.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
And then death is gout, A real messy is gourd.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
And I think I have figured out why I got
gout because it's that pop up that opened up right
by my house. You're black and my sort and I
was getting those lobster rolls. I probably have four lobster
rolls a week.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
What. Yeah, So my question is this, where are they
getting the lobsters. We live in a Midwestern state.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Yeah, we're land locked. Well the great well there's great
big count.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
No, there's no lobsters, right, so where is this meat
coming from? It's flown in, But they're too cheap.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
You know what.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
I always justify eating lobster in Illinois with what is that?
I think Will Michael Jordan lived here and he probably
ate a lot of lobster, and I imagined that like
Michael Jordan had like lobster flown in.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
That's not You're not eating Michael Jordan lobster.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I know, but I like to feel like I am.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
You're eating you know, Mike Jordan. You know, Mike Jordan lobster,
Mike Jordan, lobster, mikey Oh, mikey Jordan. So I have
to tell you if that's really what's happening, I think
you dodged a bullet by only getting gout.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Why what else could I have gotten?
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You're eating who knows what that's being past his lobster
dunked in mayonnaise, and you're eating it so much. Here's one.
How long is a pop up a pop up before
it's just a store?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I know it's been there. It's been there for like
a year. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I don't want it to go, although maybe if it
goes then I won't have Wait, can you get rid
of gerd and gout?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Or is this us forever?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Now?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Well? Yes, I mean you could change your diet.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
But well I can do that. I get on kicks,
as you know. I get on kicks and then that's
all I want to eat forever. And then I eat
that for three or four months and then I never
eat it again.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
So you're so But you're taking a pill as well?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, I have. I'm not a prescription. I can't even
pronounce it.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
It's all a pure and all.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I didn't even tell Larry I have it. I'm embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I didn't tell Donna had gird Really no.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
I think you have to sleep with pillows like you
have to sleep sitting up.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
That's what they said. They're like, if could you sleep
on a wedge pillow?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I was like, what, Well, what will you tell don
about why you're wedged?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
He won't care, you know, what. He'll like it because
he'll be like, now finally you're using all the freaking pillows, Like,
he'll be happy that I'm using the pillows.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
When they first said gout, I said, I think you've
been mistaken because I've been misdiagnosed before. Remember when I
had act in it caratosis or whatever, which is a
skin condition that normally happens on like eighty year old men.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, and they said that that's what you had, and
it turned out you were just allergic to the face
creamy or you exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I think it had like human stem cells in it
or something, but which.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Is what they can't do human stem cells. I don't
think they can. Then how can they charge that much?
I was like, there better be humans in this if
it cost better be what Michael Jordan's I know, on
his skin? Would Michael Jordan fly this in? Yes? Really
you're having those are Mikey Jordan's cells?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Oh no, here, I got my face cream from Mikey
Jordan down a street.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
What will you still eat?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Like?
Speaker 3 (05:56):
What's going to be worth it? Like worth the gourd,
worth the girl.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Wait, that's a good segment. Yeah, okay, that could be
a segment.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Okay, what's worth it? Okay?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Okay? So so what triggers gout is very like rich food.
I mean, like, right now I'm eating a classic laid
potato chip and drinking a hard saltzer. So that's probably
not great.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I think a classic lay potato chip has potassium in it.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
It does?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
It does?
Speaker 1 (06:21):
It has more potassium than a banana.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Marathon runners eat chips. Yeah, so they must be and
they drink beer.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
See, okay, so this is good. So what's worth it?
What would we be willing to eat knowing that it
is going to destroy our body the next day?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Speaking of lazed potato chips, I think it's worth it
to take LA's potato chips and dip it in either
sour cream or I'll even go Greek yogurt.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
It's so good.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
What yep saw me in half? I like to dip
a chip and Greek yogurt. I also really I also,
you know, I have one slice of toast every single morning.
But what I've started to do is like sprinkle a
little salt, like the good salt you know that you
have in the bowl by the.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Side of it, I understand. And the salt it's the
salt for company Company Salt, Company salt.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I've been sprinkling my company salt on my buttered toast
in the morning, and I think that's worth I.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Know, I've got to be terrible for gout.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I don't understand why salt is so bad. It's just
a rock, right, We're basically just gnawing on rocks and minerals.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Salt like just a.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
It's because it dehydrates you. I think salt used to
be very important. That's where the word salary comes from.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Really, salary is in your paycheck comes from saltce.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Salt used to be so valuable.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
That's how you were paid and salt.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, but don't google it because I might be wrong.
What's worth it?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:34):
What's worth it for you?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
What's worth the euros a hero heros from.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Nicky's m with the full peda and the full sauce
and the extra sauce.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, it's the euro that would be worth it.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
The only time I went to New York, Remember we
had to go. Yeah, we had to go for that
conference that don wasn't even invited to. But he found
out about it, and he thought he was hustling if
he went but anyway, you know how they have the
meat on the show in New.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
York me worth it a street meet worth it.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
It is, And I'll tell you why, because I've already
done it. I'm like you with the lobster roles. I
had street meat. It was a euro that I bought
from a man on the street and I ate it
and then I threw up like nobody's business that night,
and then before we went to the airport, I.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Got another one.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Oh, and that one was okay, yeah, And I was okay.
I mean, you're you're gambling with your life. You know,
you're always gambling. But it was so good. It was
so good that even you know how food poisoning is
supposed to turn you off to something, that's the testimonial,
And so I was thinking, like that guy should use
that as a testimonial, Like I got food poisoning, and
then I still want it more.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
You know what, I don't think we've ever talked about before.
And I was shocked, and.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I was like, I have to bring this up to
Leanna immediately. What what are the insects that you kill
and what are the insects you take outside? I wonder
if we have the same.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Oh yeah, you know what, it just happened today. So
I never kill a spider unless the spider is directly
involved on my person.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I have goosebumps, right, Nalie, because that is mine too.
And I knew you were going to say that. And
as you know, I've always been terrified of spiders. They
are used to from a kid.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, they put that in us.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I think I used to be like murder immediately. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I keep hearing stuff where if there are spiders in
you know, woo woo, Sorry saw me in half, But
I keep hearing that if there are spiders around you,
this is a very auspicious good sign.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Ooh auspicious that's the word of that. You got to
use it through March.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
No, that one I've had, that one was realized from
last year' yeah that was when.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
This's a good one. That's the far side, oh the
far that calendar.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
That was a good one.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
So I agree with that. I'm not super into the
woo woo part of it, but the scientific part of it.
You know, if you see a spider, it's gonna you
know me if I can get bit up in the winter,
like I don't know how they find me, I don't know,
but like a mosquito. Remember the one time we went
camping and it looked like I had leprosy. I mean
I had about like fifty bites and you didn't have nothing.
(10:04):
And it was just like, okay, they did two hundred bites.
I think it were a hundred and it was just
my legs.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
And that's a straight for me. Straight to murder is mosquitos.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
I will murder a mosquito every time I don't feel bad.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Murder spread disease, and yeah I will too. My big one,
which I just killed today in the bathtub, was centipedes,
the house centipedes.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
That's tough on.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, And that's a tough one because I have heard
that they're good, that they do help kill the things
that you know, but they're they're so vile looking there. Yeah,
they're aggressively vile that it's hard for me not to
just the instinct in me to be like that. They
should not be here.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
It's too many legs.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
It's too too many legs. It's too much.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
But yeah, for spiders, it's mostly I'm not gonna let
you live in my space. I get a little too
creepy crawling for that I am going to take you out.
Some people have been like, you can live here, it's fine.
I'm sure there are some living with us, and as
long as I don't know about it, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Yeah, I feel that way, but I do think there's
been times where I try to get it and I can't,
and then I say, oh, well, you know now you
live here.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
May I compliment you for a second on something always?
This is a way in which you enrich my life
that I don't know if.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I always, always and forever.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I save the good stuff instead of using it, and
you use it.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Gotta use it.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
You bring the expensive candle home and you light it immediately.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You gotta use it.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I brought you that olive oil for breeze, and I
immediately it was gone within a week. You and I
hold on to things and then the olive oil goes bad.
I gotta be like you, leanne, I gotta use it,
enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
What are you waiting for? Exactly?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Like? Isn't if I'm saving it for a special occasion
like a smoke? Is that saving it for a special
occasion is an insult to the moment I'm living in
right now?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
Isn't it?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
That's beautiful, right, Yes, that is beautiful, and I agree
with that.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I agree with that, And there is nothing besides the
moment we're in right now.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
This is all we got.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I agree with that. No, I definitely, I say, you
use it. You know, you use the fancy perfume, you
use it.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
You just you have?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Which is this the alta one you got?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Because yeah, that's what this is? Is isn't nice? Yeah?
Now I'm doing vanilla. You like it? Okay?
Speaker 3 (12:31):
I like this. This might be my favorite. I can't
believe that's just an alta, that's.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
All it is. It was like five dollars. It was
like five dollars at the counter. Oh no, good job. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Fence defense.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
I like that. You always say defense because I think
that that applies always.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Right, because somebody's doing defense.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Somebody's saying defense.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
I don't know, well, I guess sometimes it's the other team. Hey,
I meant to tell you. I ran into Jackie.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Kate and she no way is she?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
She and Bill have separate homes now and they're they
never been great.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
They're too homes. But he's the litigator for McDonald's or something.
I mean, they have all that money.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, but she says it's the best thing for their
marriages living in their own houses.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I agree. I agree. I think the older we get,
the more space we need. And I just if I could,
you know, once Scott moves out, when he's probably forty,
then I will have I'm gonna make my own little room. Yeah,
I have to.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
I wonder the degree to which all of us are
just like replicating our parents' marriages unconsciously.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Whether we want to or not.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Like I look at my parents marriage and I'm like,
if I'm really assessing the situation, Like I don't want
a marriage like theirs?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Am I trying to replicate that?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Can?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I will tell you what I think the issue was
with your parents' marriage. What they were too thin? I
think they were hungry all the time. That's true, because
they they both were just so obsessed with being thin.
And I think, honestly, they were just hungry all the time,
and that's why they fought. Mm hmm, yeah, that's why
they fought. And I had big you know how happy
babies are big babies. Yeah, Like, I just had two
(14:13):
big parents, and I think that they were just never
hungry and that's why.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Yeah, it was good.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Just think, when you throw yourself into someone's arms, you
want to feel a body there.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
You don't want to feel a skeleton.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Oh you aaming it's alarming. I agree, I agree. So
the doctor has the nerve to tell me to lose weight.
I say, oh, I'm happy, but what are.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
You gonna do?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Nothing better than a happy baby.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Nothing better than a happy baby.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And I want to throw myself into your arms. I
want to be held by you all the time.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Sometimes when you need to.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
I love it when you catch me looking at that
long line of cleavage in your bosoms. I'm mostly just
imagining lying the side of my cheekbone down on your
breast and taking a nab.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
I wish that we could desexualize breasts because they are
so comfortable. And I'm telling you, no pillow top match
is gonna compete with my yabos because they are just
so comfortable. Sometimes I stick my finger in between them
and it's just real comforting. Look at that that does.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
That made me feel comfort in my solar plexus, just
seeing you just stick a digit in there.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Oh my god, I love some I brought you.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I brought you your favorite. These are ten bags of
my Christmas mix of tea. It's a strange flavor for summer,
but it's still good and.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I can't tell me. Oh my gosh. Okay, so so okay.
There's a principal, deb Principal Debbie. I guess it's the
full name. She is our kids principal. She's the greatest.
Oh my god, what are you doing.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
I'm gonna scare you gas by saying pet but I'm
not at this principle damp get scoot out my back,
I know it, my neck, I know and my other things.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
A white curse up here?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Just oh, I love Cherry Cherry made.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah, Cherry live aid it and we got the A
C cranking even though we're in park.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
I love that. Don't tell anyone. I'm going to have
a sip. You know. It's just been a little stressful
inside the office today. I'm trying to pop out what
are y'all doing? Microphones? Are you making a like a
WEE wrap?
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I would, I.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Would buy it.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I would, Oh my gosh, stream it.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
No.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
We you know, we we love our we love Scott
and Bow, but.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
These games games, they're not example entertaining.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Do we start a podcast? Just how fun do you
want to be on it? On it right now? You
are on it?
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Shut your but I'm on it.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Is this your first podcast?
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I've never done one. I have listened a little bit
to the Cereal Oh yeah yeah podcast about Cereal Sponsorsosia.
You wouldn't imagine how many different combos of serial there are.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
The mascots.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Oh right, so fun PD.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I grew up going to Battle Creek in Michigan, where
we will go tour the like cereals and stuff. Does
ours public school have any kind of like field trips
like that?
Speaker 4 (17:12):
Well, you know what, I have some parental forms to
kind of take the kids any old where I want.
Oh yeah, so that's a fun trip. Oh yeah, get
in the van, you know, I got us a van.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
I know. It's great.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Yeah, it's really nice.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
It's really nice actually, and it smells nice.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
It smells great in there. Well, I slept in there
a couple of nights just so I could be at
the school the minute the door is open. And you know,
I live forty eight miles away, so I just want
to be there to greet them. I just want to
be the face they see when they come through the
door to start their day learning. And growing as tiny
little humans.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Oh well, for those of you who don't know Principal
deb she routinely every time I'm dropping bow off, she's
always at the front door. High five yep, high five
in And different kids have different dance smooth.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
And you remember each kids move and you do it with.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Them, whether you can do it or not's incredible.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
That's right. I learned how to do the douggie and
I know how to do the cabbage patch. There's a
lot of high fives, elbows, I go through more hands handy.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Oh, I know, but that's you got to keep them safe.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Well, you got to keep them safe, got to keep
yourself safe. Kids don't wash their hands.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Scott.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
How many times do you get sick in a calendar
school year?
Speaker 4 (18:23):
I'm probably every other week. I've got some kind of something. Yeah,
you know, but it's okay. You push your the paint.
Who's going to be there for him? Honey?
Speaker 3 (18:30):
You're fostering in what.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Vice? Principal Tampson in the car talking to he is
so high maintenance.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I hate dam he do too, And I don't know,
you know, having him under you, God, I would, I
know who would? Who would?
Speaker 4 (18:56):
I mean it's you know, he's been thrice married.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yeah, no kidding, no kidding, and.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Sending three women out into the world with the first
three letters of the four letters of tampon.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I'm come on, come on, but I will say, think
the good lord. He's not your boss. You see what
I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
I'm his boss, and I think that's part of the problem.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Is I'm sure that's that's gott to drive him nothing.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
You know what he just texted me, what where are you? Please? Business?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
It's Saturday morning.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Saturday morning? Where are you?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
I'm so glad you're here. The kids are going to
go nuts when they see you here. And halftime, you
got to surprise everybody. They lose their minds. I'm serious.
The principal deb is like bluey to them. I mean,
they lose their minds. She's so spoked an Australian accent.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Can't All I know is you got to put a
y at the end of anything that ends in an oh.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Like.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
So if you're saying no, you have to say NOI
NOI no. So I remember before you were the principal.
You want to talk about it? Oh gosh, do you
remember this?
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (20:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:12):
What she used to work. She used to guard.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Yeah, started from the bottom out.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Hair and you got hit by a car and I
did a couple times.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Well, you know the thing is, even with the orange vest,
that corner, it's dead man's curve in front of a school.
And don't think I haven't gone to the local government.
I spoken to the mayor via email.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Oh I'm sure to be hit by two members.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
It just I feel like that's an indictment on the rig,
isn't it like rich people.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Are they don't see us as humans.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
They're like just driving as if you know, there's not
a woman in a vest and as an.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Orange vest, and I'm as a house I had red
hair at the time.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I was going to say, I just remember you had
that beef fifty two hair almost oh yeah, And it
was like the vest, the hair and then these beamers
like you did. I didn't see her, okay, come on.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Well, and I was in traction doing all my principal
duties right over at Saint Augustine's.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And you were walking with the walker with those tennis
balls on the bottom. Then you were you were in
the crosswalk with the walker. I remember that's what the
second hit happened.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
It wasn't working. I was just trying to cross.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Oh I didn't know that you were a million at the.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
Time, nightmare. Did I do anything to cross into these
doors and help these kids? I would do it.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I know you would.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
I know you board at home? Or do you really
get bored?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Even with the cat even with the cats?
Speaker 4 (21:41):
I mean, I love them all, but gosh, they you
know they're shedding right now. I just saw on weather,
just the weather. I just saw a necklace you can buy.
You put the cats shedded fur into it, seal it up,
and it's shaped like a cat. So I ordered a few.
I like, oh, that's it's nice. I mean, you know,
it's like Carrie and dander around your neck. But it's
not like I don't have dan drift on my neck.
(22:03):
It might as well.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I don't know how you get rid of dan drift. No,
I don't think it's possible.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah, you can't head and shoulders over it on my eyebrows.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
You know, I've noticed. I don't know if you have
an HMO or PPIO.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
But my no insurance, Oh no, they don't insurance.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
That's but my dermatologist is Dan tan as you know,
doctor tan. He put me on a medicated shampoo one
time that we It wasn't a head and shoulders, but
you know why. He medicated my shampoo for acne and
it worked. My hair was what was making me break out.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
I am stund.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Go grab another one.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Oh my god, thank you. But I have a lot
of work to do. You know. This is the day
that I go through all the files and I try
to make sure all the kids are updated on the
animals they like the best, and how they've done on
their math tests. Spend a lot of time on Saturday
just keeping clear on what their scores are and how
their parents are.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Big animal.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
Now with loving those lions, WANs I love a lion.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
The lions are probably still because a Kuna Matada was
such a strong and profound piece of music.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I know so many times.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
And I like lions because the females are the badasses.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Oh I love that. Tell that to Tampa.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Your phone is ringing again?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
What is that? This is my kiddie cam. They're inside
of the they're inside of their their you know little Yeah.
It's a condo and it's got these plastic windows so
they can go outside. And I put all those little
computers around and make it look like they're typing. They're
(23:55):
using their hands to do the thing that cats do
with their paws. It looks like they're type. It just
looks like if they type, do they get treats? I
I gotta say something. Get off of him, cat, No,
thank you, thank you?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Bo What you got on the TV for him?
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (24:14):
They're watching a Jerry Oh that's good. The drama.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Oh that's fun. I get that. Yeah, I get that fun.
But we're so happy that you came to the public sector.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Yes, you know, I was in parochial for years. Yeah,
and I decided to head over to New Schiller Academy
when I knew that I could do more and be more. Yep,
I left Saint Dale's. I'm here and I'm happy. These
kids are like my kids. Yeah, you know, if I
had over two hundred kids, it'd be these.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
And I know Scott, which is you were. I mean,
he would get rid of me. He'd sell me up. Heartbeat,
Oh my gosh, your mind, how good?
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I Yeah, went between the cats, the bro visits to
the physical therapy office from the two life altering car accident.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
Yeah, yeah, and the kids exactly, you got two hundred kids.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Yeah, at least give and take. Sometimes they move and
it's sad. That's why I do that barn Yae Titanic
kind of wave off them.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Did you ever do Monassory?
Speaker 2 (25:19):
No?
Speaker 4 (25:19):
No, no, it's I'm good without my take your Waldorf school.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
I agree.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
I'm not going to be knitting dolls. No, great, I
got things to tea.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
What's the big doll?
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Now, it's just like you know blond of course.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Of course are you talking about Barbie dolls?
Speaker 4 (25:37):
No? No, this is a knit doll, but it could
be a Barbie blond.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And they're called blonds.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
Yea, the blonds.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Oh, there were brats and now there's blondes. Oh wow,
and on both at the end of those.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
See this is right.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Sometimes I'm glad we have boys, Leande, because like I think,
boys are a little easier, we go to the er more,
but females are.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Complex to raise. Here's the thing. Boys are easier until
you're old, and then you got to hope that they
marry someone who will help take you. Boys won't take
care of you.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
Don't cry.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
That is a really good sorry, all right, Yeah, I
just got a little bit of white clock up checked.
He do you hear, do you want a koozie? Put
put that in the kozi. Then it looks like a lacroix.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
My good, oh my god, look at them and that
cute you get spin it and you can see all
their heads to see them, you know, speaking a spin it.
I got us that spinner on the playground.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Oh it's beautiful, that's so cool. It is so so fun,
so fun, and it tires them out, which tires them out.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
You can see kids being thrown from that thing upwards
a ten feet to the side, so that.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
The wood chip.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
I'm always thinking, always thinking, because when I got my accident,
my dome hit that hard concrete, I say, we can't
have this happened and not a kid. And it's like
and also a little bit over by the swings. It's
that squishy.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Yeahhy sponge ground.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
I mean, if you had been hit by a car
and a crosswalk and thrown into that smushy sponge, work
better working it out.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
And you know what Tamp loved when I was out
of it was the worst walking around like his like
his suit, don't stay by the way, three piece suit,
Come on, I mean, settle down, settle down.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
What are we trying to do?
Speaker 4 (27:25):
What do you try in finance?
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
I know what you make and it's a little less
than me because I'm the big pee and you're the
little peace.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
That's right, I know.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
We get out of there. My god. The cats in
the escape patch that's only.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
For cleaning the escape patch? Wow? Is that like a
doggy door?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Mouse?
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Mouse? We don't have a mouse in there? One of
those names?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
The cat by that mouse?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Okay, she moved down. You see this little door here
is what I use to get the tiny vacuum?
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Oh love an orange cat? An orange?
Speaker 4 (28:04):
Yeah, that's like Garfield, Yes, like Garfield exact.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Can I tell you Debbie how much I love Little Debbie's?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Do they still make it? Is that like a thing?
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, for sure, still making them?
Speaker 4 (28:19):
I got one in my what do.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
You go watch?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Watch?
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Watch might turn to the right.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
I know it's like p don't worry about it, don't
worry about it, don't worry about it, Star Crush, I'm serious, Jet,
It hasn't your day just gone through the roof better
because of deb.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
I can't believe I popped in and just saw you count?
What do they do it in there? With those microphones
making a wrap album.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Well, that's probably because we were helping Scott do his
rep for the talent.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
You remember when he did, he was a parody.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
And then but and then when the stopped working and
he can't acapela, he went a cappella.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
He starts swinging the mic like it was. It was so.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
I mean, I'm about number ninety nine. I didn't go
that many numbers over five and with no accompanying music.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
That's right. And Don did I tell you what Don said?
Don was worried because you know, everybody was cheering so much. Yeah,
he goes, I think they're cheering too much, like he
thought Scott might think he did bad. They were like
pity cheers, And I was like, that is so don
to think that, right, Like if somebody is happy and cheering,
(29:35):
like just appreciate it for what it is.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
Don't put lice my cheers.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
That's like tamp When the cheerleaders are practicing. He's going,
I don't know about this and that, and I go
get the helent back in the office. Let me give
these children their specialized greetings so they can get out
on the field and try to get to nationals.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Oh, yep, what is the one thing and it's okay
if it applies to us. What is the one thing
you wish parents would do that they don't do.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
I wish they'd look in their phones a little more.
The kids' phones. Their parents are already in their own right.
Why don't you check and see what they're looking on
at roadblocks?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
But why do they have phones when they're so little?
Speaker 4 (30:20):
That's also what I'm screaming. I think that no one
should be issued a phone until they're eighteen years old. Yeah,
but a lot of this is t mobile. They're the
devil and wireless go straight to hell. Get their noses
in a buck. I don't need to have a phone
YouTube at their fingertips.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
And I don't think kids should be able to drive
till they're twenty one.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Oh I love that.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
I mean a sixteen year old at the wheel. Have
you ever tried to talk to a sixteen year old?
It's terrifying.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
They're already not listening. Now you think they're going to
obey the laws.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Of the road, thank you.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Their skull isn't completely hardened yet. How are they supposed
to know if you can go right?
Speaker 1 (30:58):
On red.
Speaker 4 (30:59):
You're absolutely right. Their skull is almost like a cornucopia,
and all the food inside is their brain. Let that
cornicopia clothes hide the fruit.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Well, that's good.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Let's be surprised if there's an apple in there. We
don't need to see it. Brain.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
That's evocative. That was the word of the day.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Oh, evocative is a good word.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
I love that is that evoke? Evoke?
Speaker 1 (31:23):
So I got two more. I have to use it
four times.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Okay, So you've got one down, two to go.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
That's good. Do you want some chips or anything?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Yeah, we've got everything.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
I made breaks breakfast chext mixed.
Speaker 4 (31:34):
Mouth was really good in here. It smells like hot food.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, oh yeah, because we got caesos. We have hot Kso.
Speaker 4 (31:40):
Okay, but that's what I want to and some tostedos.
I'm good, and then I gotta get back in. I
got I spend my full Saturday here so I can
enjoy my Sunday with the cakes.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Okay, but will you at halftime? You have to just surprise.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
Think they'll be surprised if I pop up, I put
my silasses on out.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Don't lose their bites.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
It's like I'll be back terminator. You got it, robot.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Do you have those Walgreen wrapper on glasses?
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Okay, put these in these.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
I can't wait for anything with my right arm. Got okay,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
I could do it.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
That looks exactly like Schwartz.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
And yes, I'm whipping my hair back and for nothing movement.
These sunglasses are good nine ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Keep them. We're bogo ninety keep them.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Wow, yeah, of course, of course. All right, we'll get
out there in high five these kids.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
So I got to watch this. Do you want help here?
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Please? Got you?
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Well?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
The door outdoors? Medical Ah, okay, no, you got it.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
I'm okay, go get.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Them, p D.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Get to your pet, p D.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
It was so nice. I love you. Thanks for the chips,
and get my drinks.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Come back any time.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Can I have these those doors? You could take them
with these peppermints in your purse.
Speaker 4 (32:58):
I'd love to.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
They're good.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
You know how well adjusted we'd be if we had
her when we were children.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Ly, Oh shut up, look dev's doing it. It's happening.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Kay, let me get it. Yeah, wow, look at that.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Oh she got some height on that.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Ooh had to kill for that mobility.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
Oh my god, charade. You got a how does she
notice that? There? He is Donald?
Speaker 1 (33:20):
He's damn that's cute.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
I thought his name was Ronald.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
So this is how did you about? He kind of
talks like that too, h Jill up the hill?
Speaker 4 (33:35):
Jack?
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 4 (33:36):
Where is he now? Where is He's? Your brother? Is
everything all right?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Where is jan?
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Soccer Moms is an improvised podcast created by Katie Rich
and Holly Laurent. It's produced by Noah Avior and Hans Sanni,
edited by Hannah Parsons, and original music composed by Julie Nichols.
Soccer Moms is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.
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