February 13, 2026 • 21 mins
Nicole Byer sticks around for more stories from her teen years, and a love connection sparked by a feather earring.
Plus, a caller shares the tale of a romantic kiss on a cruise ship, but things quickly go from lovesick to seasick.
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
I's all that's okay, because no one here is.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
We have a little bonus episode that I like to
do where I asked listeners to send in their own
embarrassing childhood stories via voice memo, and I am happy
to report you and I are not the only ones
with some awkward teenage stories, and some of those embarrassing
moments apparently happened out on the open sea. Let's hear
from Dana all about her first kiss.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Hi, Danielle.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
While I spent my childhood and preteen years hoping to
be as cool and confident as you were, I found
myself at age fourteen as a late bla looming weirdo
from New Jersey who is on a family cruise in Alaska.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Now, Nicole, have you ever been on a cruise?
Speaker 5 (01:07):
No?
Speaker 6 (01:07):
You simply couldn't pay me to be on a cruise, really,
absolutely not. Why Why you're in the middle of the
ocean with the same people day after day, these freaks
at the buffet not washing their hands.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
I have to get on a slide to get into
the pot. Now I couldn't. You couldn't.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
No, And then what.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
If the toilet stopped working? You're in the middle of
the ocean smelling shit.
Speaker 5 (01:36):
I could be at home.
Speaker 6 (01:38):
No you no, no, And I've been offered really nice
a nice amount of money glass that I can't.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Oh I think I will. I think I'm gonna love
a cruise.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Why would you love it? Well, think about it this way.
Speaker 6 (01:54):
You could take a plane to where you want to go,
m M, and then you're there, and then you could
take a another plane to go to the next place
you want to go. A cruise, you dock for three
hours and if you don't make it back, they leave you.
Can you imagine a giant boat just.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Lead I paid money. You can't wait.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
You can't wait just a little longer. That part's weird.
You're right, that part is weird. But here's the thing
I have, Like, planning a vacation for my family inevitably
means it's all on me. I have to pick the fights,
I have to pick the location.
Speaker 6 (02:28):
I don't want to count your money, but a travel
agent that.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Is that is probably better because I love the cult
feeling of a cruise, where like I just have to
get myself to the ship and then I walk out
and you show me.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Where the food is. I eat, what's there?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I leave, there's an itinerary.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I look at the itinera.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I go at four o'clock. Here's the thing about the food.
Speaker 6 (02:52):
You think they have enough storage for all the food
they're going to be serving. You think it's properly refrigerated
at all the time.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I feel like that's a part of planning a cruise
ship is yes, making sure you have enough proper refrigeration.
Speaker 5 (03:05):
But listen, I know.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
People probably get sick all the time from the food
on a cruise. How do we know they're in the
middle of nowhere?
Speaker 5 (03:12):
I know it to it's it's the lawless, lawless out there.
Speaker 6 (03:22):
I really think you should get a travel agent because
a travel agent can do like hotel record or no.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
They just book it.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
They show you a bunch of stuff and they go,
do you want me to book this? They'll give you
like restaurants they do.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
I went to.
Speaker 6 (03:37):
Uh South Africa, Zimbabwe and Zambia, and we had a
travel agent who planned the whole thing. It was delightful
because we didn't worry about anything. It was all done.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
That this is what I've been missing in my life
because literally the only reason I've been thinking about going
on a cruise is because I'm like a wouldn't it
be nice enough to plan everything every day?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Travel?
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Don't go on a cruise. I really don't want this
life for you, thank you. I want you, like on
a yacht in Santrope that somebody else planned for you.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay, okay, And you're fine with a yacht, yes, okay.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
What do you mean with a.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Proper amount of refrigeration on a yacht?
Speaker 6 (04:15):
Well?
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yes, a smaller amount.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Of smaller amounted.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Well, it's just me and my people, right, okay, okay.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
No strangers on the yacht.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
No, you never like rented a yacht with friends?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
No, what are you telling me?
Speaker 5 (04:29):
You don't have enough money to have a pole that goes?
But you've been on a yacht with your friends. It's
called here's the amount, Split it eight ways. We're only
on it for four hours. Get you don't have to
split it with anywhere wirl. No, I'm not going to
dance on an Amazon pole. No, uh, fly out of
(04:51):
the ceiling and I die.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
No.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I do not want that responsibility. Absolutely not. Okay, let's
hear from Dana again. Back to her cruise.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I met a.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Boy in the teen club, as you do, and after
days of awkwardly flirting, or at least what I thought
was flirting, I snuck out on the last night to
meet him on the deck of the ship Spascy. I
had my first ever kiss, in which this boy slimly
popped his tongue in and out of my mouth.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Gross.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
The combination of my disgust response to a stranger's saliva
in my mouth, my deep anxiety about sneaking out of
my room, and the queasiness of being on a ship
turned out to be the perfect recipe for vomit.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I had my first kiss, immediately threw up, and then
spent about sixty eight weeks wondering if this meant that
I was gay.
Speaker 6 (05:46):
God, that's funny. God, that's so funny. Sheep pres She's like,
am I gay? That man was like, oh no, do
women hate me? I wonder if that man still talks
about that in therapy.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, he's like, we it all starts after my first.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Kiss, and I made her vomit. He knows nothing about
the sea sickness, nothing.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
God, that is so funny. I do remember the first
time a tongue was in my mouth. I was like,
what doing and what is this?
Speaker 6 (06:15):
Now?
Speaker 5 (06:15):
It's fine, totally, I got over it.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I was like, okay, it's a you have to you
have to learn the dance of the tongues.
Speaker 6 (06:23):
Yes, And my first tongue kiss, I was like, yeah,
it was just like.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
A little tongue darting in and out.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
And I was like, you all, it's like you're violating
my mouth exactly.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
It's wild. You're like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Also, this figuring out of the turning of the heads,
there's like, yeah, there's there are just some people who
have good kiss chemistry and other people.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
Don't know some people are just bad at it. But
I just want to say one more thing about the cruise. Yeah,
there's a teen club. You have to like form a
society for.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
A week and then you never see these people again.
To go to the teen club, you have to make friends.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I mean, have you ever been to k Did you
ever go to a camp?
Speaker 6 (07:01):
No?
Speaker 5 (07:01):
My parents loved me. They kept me.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Around, well, only didn't love me one time.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
I'm kidding.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
I went to tennis camp during the day, like a
swim camp, but I never got to go to sleep
away camp. Okay, And I simply think it's my mother
was like, no one else is going to have a
good time with her.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
I got to keep her around, but I was like,
send me away. I need a break.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I went to a girl scout camp with a girlfriend.
I was not a girl scout, but my friend was.
They were like, sure, that's all right, we don't have
a problem with that. And the girlfriend I went with
was also a big square. But we got to meet
other girls there that weren't and so I got to
feel cool. Like one of the other girls, her name
was Rachel.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
And this is sleep away camp.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Sleep away camp.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
I'm so jealous.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
It was wonderful and she had all these experiences with boys.
I had had none, and so she got She just
got to tell me about kissing boys and horror movies
she watched. I wasn't allowed to watch anything.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Even I was allowed to watch horror movies and stuff,
but I wasn't allowed to like go out with boys.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, yeah, no, I she had great story. Sleep boy
Camp was really fun. Like I'm deeply jealous. I wish
I got to go to sleep boy camp. But kind
of that's kind of what like a sleepway camp, the
teen club on a cruise. It's one of the other
things I love about going on a vacation where there's
a kids club take my children. It's not a vacation
for me. If I am the sole entertainment or my children.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
A travel agent cann't find you a hotel.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
That has Yeah, I know you're really from this crew cruise.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
I really don't want I.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
Okay, you'll have if you make it onto a cruise,
You'll have to tell me how awful it was, ok
Because I guarantee you.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
I don't know why I'm manifesting this for you. That's
not nice. If you want to go on a cruise, go,
oh my god, but it will be bad. But like
if you if you want to go. I I was
in my early twenties.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
Me used to share and our other Frank Kisha, were
taking a bus to Boston from New York and I
was like, I don't want to be on this bus.
Buses breakdown and said she was like, buses don't break down.
People take buses all the time. I was like, they
break down. Forty five minutes in to our trip, the
bus broke down. Okay, Yeah, So I wouldn't go on
a cruise. I've already manifested it to go poorly.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Yeah, you're right now, I know for sure. I can't.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
You have manifested your entire life. You've gotten all the
things you dream a career, a broken down bus, You've
now manifested a terrible cruise for me.
Speaker 6 (09:23):
I think we all know about Titanic, and now we're
getting on these big boats for fun.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I really we learned nothing.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
We've learned absolutely, and that's crazy.
Speaker 6 (09:33):
Also, I didn't know how strongly I felt about cruises
until right now.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Can you share with me your travel agent information? Because
I would you. It sounds like you went on a reel.
Name only does Africa?
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Oh okay, it does a continent of Africa, or maybe
she specializes in South Africa.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
I might be a liar, but I can give.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
You her name, give me your information.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
At some point I'll go to South Africa as well.
But yes, I'm gonna. I didn't even know really the
travel agents were they do?
Speaker 5 (09:56):
Okay, they do? Exit, I said they do. You said
I didn't. There was travel and I said they.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Do, they do, they are, they are around. Let's put
ourselves in Dana's shoes. How would you have bounced back
(10:21):
from that? Kind of situation. First kiss, you vomit, I get.
I feel like I wish I did you vomit on him?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Off?
Speaker 6 (10:27):
Yeah, that's what I would like, more information, because if
you vomit on a person, there's no coming back from that.
That's a wrap, that's it. And I've seen the showers
on a cruise ship. You're never going to be clean
until you get home.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
More things.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
I didn't know.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
The showers are nasty. The rooms are so small.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I know the rooms are small.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I've heard that your windows like this, and then you're
just this the whole time.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
This isn't fun. I hate cruises. I've never been on bood.
But if she barfed off the side of the boat.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Huh oh, you could be like, oh the shrimp was bad,
right exactly?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Oh my gosh, it was a dinner I ate.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Mmm. I don't know if I think that quickly in
the moment as a teen, No.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Especially because she was like nauseated and feeling great.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Oh boy, what do you do? I really don't think
you come back from that. I think that's just a
memory you keep and tell people.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Also, how early into the trip is it? Does she
have to keep running.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Into the god at the teen club.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
At the teen club, I can never go back to
the teen club. They need to know why. Now She's like,
I vomited on my friend after I snuck out. She
couldn't even share the story because she's stuck out of
her room to do it.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Oh no, what across to bear?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
This is terrible. All right, let's see how the story
ended for Dana.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Needless to say, it was a solid year or more
before there was a second kiss from anyone. Oh the
joys of being a non celebrity teenager.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
So she had her first kiss at fourteen and her
next kiss was at fifteen.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
Honestly, she's doing great.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah, it only took a year to get it.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
Come on, it's pretty pretty darns great.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And I guarantee you that's the only time she's ever
vomited on something. I mean probably, yeah, So keep that
as unless.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Of hers.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
I don't know, did I.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Get triggered into vomit or like, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
I said it, and I was like, I hope no
one questions it. Did you ever say something? You're like,
we'll just move along, We'll just go moving right along.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Why no one? No one even heard it. We'll cut it, Well,
we'll cut it, you know.
Speaker 6 (12:29):
No, No, I stand by all bad jokes I make.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Don't cut it.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Do you remember your first kiss?
Speaker 6 (12:38):
Yes, I kiss somebody in high school, but it wasn't
super eventful, okay. And then I truly didn't kiss another
person until uh, I think I was twenty, you.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Were in high school, and then not another person until
nineteen years.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
I told you the boys did not reciprocate feelings that
I had for them.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
I was zitty and chill and had wild hair all
the time, like I truly was a mess. But this
was outside I think I was twenty, and it was
outside the Blarney Stone, which was a bar on forty
seventh and eighth, and there was a man with a
(13:18):
feather earring and I was like, I like your earring,
and he was like, put it in your ear and
I was like okay. And then we just like started
making out on the street and I was like whoa.
And that's the first time a tongue was in my
mouth and I was like, oh, your.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Tongue is a cold. I was like, I feel like
I'm kissing like a kimono dragon, like some sort of reptile.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Why was his tongue cold.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
I a question you asked somebody. You don't to pull
it back and go why is that tongue cold? I
was just like, okay, did you want your feather?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I was gonna say, did you have the feather earing in?
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I think I wore it all night?
Speaker 6 (13:52):
And then we like kept finding each other to like
make out, and the drunker I got, the less it
mattered that.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
His tongue was maybe he was dead.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
It was in highly sight, so wild, but yeah, that
that was like a the first memorable kiss that I had.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I'll say, yeah, okay, I don't even know how to
I don't even know. I think another pitch for you,
I've pitched Dancing with the Stars. I have another pitch
for you. I think if you were to go back,
you don't even have to bring them to you. Fly
fly these people out here. If you were to question
on your podcast, why won't you date me? Mm hmm,
(14:26):
the people you went to junior high in high school with,
I guarantee you there would be some people who were like,
I didn't think you'd ever be interested in me?
Speaker 6 (14:35):
No, I really don't think so. I look back at
old pictures and I'm like poof. I was doing something
and it wasn't good.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
But everyone feels that way about their pictures.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
When they look back, you're like, oh, I was such
a duebo, but like we're not. We weren't as big
of duebos as we think we were. There's just because
it's us.
Speaker 6 (14:51):
In seventh grade, I didn't smile for my picture and
I truly looked like Queen Latifah and said it off
in her mugshot, like I when I tell you like,
I was not doing I was not doing great. And
my mother even was like, why didn't you smile?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
And I was like, I don't know. Who was a choice.
I made a choice.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Did you ever talk to friends about their first like,
did you ever try to gather intel about kissing or
anything sexual?
Speaker 6 (15:19):
Well, I feel like my core group of girlfriends didn't
really start dating until like high school high school, because
in middle school we were.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Just like, yeah, the hold or holding hand with you.
I was like, I got my boyfriend.
Speaker 6 (15:34):
It was like too much, yeah, but I I guess
I knew like people were having sex, but I always
remember feeling like.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
Hotey of the time.
Speaker 6 (15:44):
You were so busy in I school, were in school
for eight hours that's our full time job, like in
any of homework.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
That's more job, I know, wouldn't it? When are you
doing it?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
And I've got to talk on the phone to my
friends that I just saw in school all day all night. Yeah,
where I know, I remember that too.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Did you clubs in high school?
Speaker 6 (16:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I was back and forth between Boy meets Us Yes, yes,
and my regular school. So I was only there on
hiatus weeks.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
You had two jobs.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Yeah, I was there on every hiatus we come back
in school, and then the season would wrap in March,
and so I'd go full time from March until June.
But I couldn't really like be a cheerleader or do
any sports or be a part of any clubs.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
But I did go to all.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
The football games. Oh see, that's nice.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
And I went to all the dances, and you know
I had to do that. Okay, So a good five
years between your first and second kiss. My first kiss
was on television on Boy Meets World. I truthfully don't
remember what my real life first kiss was.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
I have no memory of it, just the.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
One on two.
Speaker 6 (16:45):
So on set, were you like, are you the type
of actor who's like, yes, I know how to do this,
and then you just try it, or do you have
like questions and queries?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
At twelve, I had no idea how to do anything.
I had never acted before. I had never done anything,
and so I didn't feel comfortable asking. I just tried
stuff and then was told that was terrible. Here's how
you do it. And then was given like line by
line readings for every single thing in the script, really correct,
(17:18):
and my mom would write notes, and then I'd go
home and my mom and I would work on it,
trying to just do the line readings I had been given,
and then I would do that.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Yeah, that's why I have a terrible actor.
Speaker 6 (17:30):
I don't think you're a terrible actor, but I think
a better approach maybe would be like getting you an
acting coach and asking you to do a range of
emotions for each life.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Well, listen, everyone's got their different different methods.
Speaker 6 (17:41):
I guess it was the nineties. Yes, it was the nineties.
It was just like a bunch of men in charge
who were just kind of dicks.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
There was a man in charge who just said, tell
the girl how to say it the way I wanted.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I'll tell her how to say it well, and we'll
get what we want.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
But isn't it kind of weird that like that first kiss,
which is so salient though because one it's on TV
for millions to see too. It was in front of
a two hundred and fifty person live studio audience, and
my grandparents were there and my parents were there, and
we didn't rehearse the actual kiss all week. They wanted
it to be real. So my actual real the first
(18:14):
time my lips had ever touched another person's lips are
the is in the moment when I slam him up
against a locker by the way, as a.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Twelve year old handcuff.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I remember this scene and I plant one on his
face with all the confidence in the world and inside
shaking like a leaf.
Speaker 6 (18:32):
And they wanted it funny if they thought you required
line reads.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
But they were like, this, she can do on that,
she'll do this.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Yeah, this show this.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
We don't have to help her with. That's interesting, she'll
be fine.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
We'll just say that on your behalf, save it, save
it for the live show. And then you, I mean,
had to hard to top that memory wise, But like,
that's that's a TV kiss, That's that wasn't a kiss
because I had a crush on something.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
How come I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Who I liked enough to have a real first kiss
with that.
Speaker 6 (19:02):
Bothers me, Well, do you remember the first time you
were kissed where you were like.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Oh that was magic?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Yes, I do.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Actually, I think that's it. Okay, you're right.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
You're right, because maybe that first real kiss was also
a situation. I was like, I think I'm supposed to
kiss now.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
I mean, I just told you.
Speaker 6 (19:16):
My first kiss is the first one I remember, and
it's wild.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
It is wild. You're right, you're right.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
I do like that first one where you're like, oh
my god, magic just happened. I think that's really special
to remember.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Ballad. Well, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Thank you for checking out this bonus episode of teen
Beat with Daniel Fishle. Please follow the podcast on Instagram
at teen beat pod and stay updated on this feed
so that every week you get both of our episodes.
Merch is available now at teenbetpod dot com. Go check
it out, and remember we are looking for your embarrassing
teenage stories. Send a voice memo to teenbeatpod at gmail
(19:50):
dot com. We like them in the one minute, minute
and a half range, so keep that in mind and
you could hear your own tale of shame right here
on a future teen beat Nicole. You have been an
absolute joy. I'm not surprised in the least, but thank
you so much for spending your time with me.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Thank you for having me being a part.
Speaker 6 (20:08):
Of its delightful I think my phone is buzzy. I'm
so sorry I have not heard it at all. I'll
hear it now. My potato is ringing.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Oh I I okay, you a potato?
Speaker 6 (20:17):
What I Sometimes you see things You're like, well, that
was insane. I have a potato shaped case, so I
call my phone my potato, and I constantly say it.
When I haven't explained it to people, I'm like, where's
my potato? And people are like, wait, what.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
The funny thing is?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
When you said it, I immediately thought you must have
a very old phone, because one time we had another
co host of mine record something and it looked so
bad and he said, what did you record that on
a potato? So when I when I hear potato, I
think of like an ancient phone or just.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
You know, a potato.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Nope, just a potato shaped case from Amazon. I'll show
it to you.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Thank you so much for being with me. You kept
us laughing for an hour and a half, if not longer,
So thank you.
Speaker 5 (20:57):
Oh thanks.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Teen Beat is an iHeart podcast produced and hosted by
Danielle Fischel. Executive producers Jensen Carp and Amy Sugarman, Executive
in charge of production Danielle Romo, producer and editor Tara Subach.
The theme song is by mar Coppus, Yes that Mark Coppus.
Follow us on Instagram at teen beat Pod.
I's all that's okay, because no one here is.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
We have a little bonus episode that I like to
do where I asked listeners to send in their own
embarrassing childhood stories via voice memo, and I am happy
to report you and I are not the only ones
with some awkward teenage stories, and some of those embarrassing
moments apparently happened out on the open sea. Let's hear
from Dana all about her first kiss.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Hi, Danielle.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
While I spent my childhood and preteen years hoping to
be as cool and confident as you were, I found
myself at age fourteen as a late bla looming weirdo
from New Jersey who is on a family cruise in Alaska.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Now, Nicole, have you ever been on a cruise?
Speaker 5 (01:07):
No?
Speaker 6 (01:07):
You simply couldn't pay me to be on a cruise, really,
absolutely not. Why Why you're in the middle of the
ocean with the same people day after day, these freaks
at the buffet not washing their hands.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
I have to get on a slide to get into
the pot. Now I couldn't. You couldn't.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
No, And then what.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
If the toilet stopped working? You're in the middle of
the ocean smelling shit.
Speaker 5 (01:36):
I could be at home.
Speaker 6 (01:38):
No you no, no, And I've been offered really nice
a nice amount of money glass that I can't.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Oh I think I will. I think I'm gonna love
a cruise.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Why would you love it? Well, think about it this way.
Speaker 6 (01:54):
You could take a plane to where you want to go,
m M, and then you're there, and then you could
take a another plane to go to the next place
you want to go. A cruise, you dock for three
hours and if you don't make it back, they leave you.
Can you imagine a giant boat just.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Lead I paid money. You can't wait.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
You can't wait just a little longer. That part's weird.
You're right, that part is weird. But here's the thing
I have, Like, planning a vacation for my family inevitably
means it's all on me. I have to pick the fights,
I have to pick the location.
Speaker 6 (02:28):
I don't want to count your money, but a travel
agent that.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Is that is probably better because I love the cult
feeling of a cruise, where like I just have to
get myself to the ship and then I walk out
and you show me.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Where the food is. I eat, what's there?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I leave, there's an itinerary.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I look at the itinera.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I go at four o'clock. Here's the thing about the food.
Speaker 6 (02:52):
You think they have enough storage for all the food
they're going to be serving. You think it's properly refrigerated
at all the time.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I feel like that's a part of planning a cruise
ship is yes, making sure you have enough proper refrigeration.
Speaker 5 (03:05):
But listen, I know.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
People probably get sick all the time from the food
on a cruise. How do we know they're in the
middle of nowhere?
Speaker 5 (03:12):
I know it to it's it's the lawless, lawless out there.
Speaker 6 (03:22):
I really think you should get a travel agent because
a travel agent can do like hotel record or no.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
They just book it.
Speaker 6 (03:29):
They show you a bunch of stuff and they go,
do you want me to book this? They'll give you
like restaurants they do.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
I went to.
Speaker 6 (03:37):
Uh South Africa, Zimbabwe and Zambia, and we had a
travel agent who planned the whole thing. It was delightful
because we didn't worry about anything. It was all done.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
That this is what I've been missing in my life
because literally the only reason I've been thinking about going
on a cruise is because I'm like a wouldn't it
be nice enough to plan everything every day?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Travel?
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Don't go on a cruise. I really don't want this
life for you, thank you. I want you, like on
a yacht in Santrope that somebody else planned for you.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay, okay, And you're fine with a yacht, yes, okay.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
What do you mean with a.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Proper amount of refrigeration on a yacht?
Speaker 6 (04:15):
Well?
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yes, a smaller amount.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Of smaller amounted.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Well, it's just me and my people, right, okay, okay.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
No strangers on the yacht.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
No, you never like rented a yacht with friends?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
No, what are you telling me?
Speaker 5 (04:29):
You don't have enough money to have a pole that goes?
But you've been on a yacht with your friends. It's
called here's the amount, Split it eight ways. We're only
on it for four hours. Get you don't have to
split it with anywhere wirl. No, I'm not going to
dance on an Amazon pole. No, uh, fly out of
(04:51):
the ceiling and I die.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
No.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I do not want that responsibility. Absolutely not. Okay, let's
hear from Dana again. Back to her cruise.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I met a.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Boy in the teen club, as you do, and after
days of awkwardly flirting, or at least what I thought
was flirting, I snuck out on the last night to
meet him on the deck of the ship Spascy. I
had my first ever kiss, in which this boy slimly
popped his tongue in and out of my mouth.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Gross.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
The combination of my disgust response to a stranger's saliva
in my mouth, my deep anxiety about sneaking out of
my room, and the queasiness of being on a ship
turned out to be the perfect recipe for vomit.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I had my first kiss, immediately threw up, and then
spent about sixty eight weeks wondering if this meant that
I was gay.
Speaker 6 (05:46):
God, that's funny. God, that's so funny. Sheep pres She's like,
am I gay? That man was like, oh no, do
women hate me? I wonder if that man still talks
about that in therapy.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, he's like, we it all starts after my first.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Kiss, and I made her vomit. He knows nothing about
the sea sickness, nothing.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
God, that is so funny. I do remember the first
time a tongue was in my mouth. I was like,
what doing and what is this?
Speaker 6 (06:15):
Now?
Speaker 5 (06:15):
It's fine, totally, I got over it.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I was like, okay, it's a you have to you
have to learn the dance of the tongues.
Speaker 6 (06:23):
Yes, And my first tongue kiss, I was like, yeah,
it was just like.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
A little tongue darting in and out.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
And I was like, you all, it's like you're violating
my mouth exactly.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
It's wild. You're like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Also, this figuring out of the turning of the heads,
there's like, yeah, there's there are just some people who
have good kiss chemistry and other people.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
Don't know some people are just bad at it. But
I just want to say one more thing about the cruise. Yeah,
there's a teen club. You have to like form a
society for.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
A week and then you never see these people again.
To go to the teen club, you have to make friends.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I mean, have you ever been to k Did you
ever go to a camp?
Speaker 6 (07:01):
No?
Speaker 5 (07:01):
My parents loved me. They kept me.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Around, well, only didn't love me one time.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
I'm kidding.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
I went to tennis camp during the day, like a
swim camp, but I never got to go to sleep
away camp. Okay, And I simply think it's my mother
was like, no one else is going to have a
good time with her.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
I got to keep her around, but I was like,
send me away. I need a break.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I went to a girl scout camp with a girlfriend.
I was not a girl scout, but my friend was.
They were like, sure, that's all right, we don't have
a problem with that. And the girlfriend I went with
was also a big square. But we got to meet
other girls there that weren't and so I got to
feel cool. Like one of the other girls, her name
was Rachel.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
And this is sleep away camp.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Sleep away camp.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
I'm so jealous.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
It was wonderful and she had all these experiences with boys.
I had had none, and so she got She just
got to tell me about kissing boys and horror movies
she watched. I wasn't allowed to watch anything.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Even I was allowed to watch horror movies and stuff,
but I wasn't allowed to like go out with boys.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, yeah, no, I she had great story. Sleep boy
Camp was really fun. Like I'm deeply jealous. I wish
I got to go to sleep boy camp. But kind
of that's kind of what like a sleepway camp, the
teen club on a cruise. It's one of the other
things I love about going on a vacation where there's
a kids club take my children. It's not a vacation
for me. If I am the sole entertainment or my children.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
A travel agent cann't find you a hotel.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
That has Yeah, I know you're really from this crew cruise.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
I really don't want I.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
Okay, you'll have if you make it onto a cruise,
You'll have to tell me how awful it was, ok
Because I guarantee you.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
I don't know why I'm manifesting this for you. That's
not nice. If you want to go on a cruise, go,
oh my god, but it will be bad. But like
if you if you want to go. I I was
in my early twenties.
Speaker 6 (08:54):
Me used to share and our other Frank Kisha, were
taking a bus to Boston from New York and I
was like, I don't want to be on this bus.
Buses breakdown and said she was like, buses don't break down.
People take buses all the time. I was like, they
break down. Forty five minutes in to our trip, the
bus broke down. Okay, Yeah, So I wouldn't go on
a cruise. I've already manifested it to go poorly.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Yeah, you're right now, I know for sure. I can't.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
You have manifested your entire life. You've gotten all the
things you dream a career, a broken down bus, You've
now manifested a terrible cruise for me.
Speaker 6 (09:23):
I think we all know about Titanic, and now we're
getting on these big boats for fun.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I really we learned nothing.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
We've learned absolutely, and that's crazy.
Speaker 6 (09:33):
Also, I didn't know how strongly I felt about cruises
until right now.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Can you share with me your travel agent information? Because
I would you. It sounds like you went on a reel.
Name only does Africa?
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Oh okay, it does a continent of Africa, or maybe
she specializes in South Africa.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
I might be a liar, but I can give.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
You her name, give me your information.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
At some point I'll go to South Africa as well.
But yes, I'm gonna. I didn't even know really the
travel agents were they do?
Speaker 5 (09:56):
Okay, they do? Exit, I said they do. You said
I didn't. There was travel and I said they.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Do, they do, they are, they are around. Let's put
ourselves in Dana's shoes. How would you have bounced back
(10:21):
from that? Kind of situation. First kiss, you vomit, I get.
I feel like I wish I did you vomit on him?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Off?
Speaker 6 (10:27):
Yeah, that's what I would like, more information, because if
you vomit on a person, there's no coming back from that.
That's a wrap, that's it. And I've seen the showers
on a cruise ship. You're never going to be clean
until you get home.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
More things.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
I didn't know.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
The showers are nasty. The rooms are so small.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I know the rooms are small.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I've heard that your windows like this, and then you're
just this the whole time.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
This isn't fun. I hate cruises. I've never been on bood.
But if she barfed off the side of the boat.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Huh oh, you could be like, oh the shrimp was bad,
right exactly?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Oh my gosh, it was a dinner I ate.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Mmm. I don't know if I think that quickly in
the moment as a teen, No.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Especially because she was like nauseated and feeling great.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
Oh boy, what do you do? I really don't think
you come back from that. I think that's just a
memory you keep and tell people.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Also, how early into the trip is it? Does she
have to keep running.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Into the god at the teen club.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
At the teen club, I can never go back to
the teen club. They need to know why. Now She's like,
I vomited on my friend after I snuck out. She
couldn't even share the story because she's stuck out of
her room to do it.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Oh no, what across to bear?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
This is terrible. All right, let's see how the story
ended for Dana.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Needless to say, it was a solid year or more
before there was a second kiss from anyone. Oh the
joys of being a non celebrity teenager.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
So she had her first kiss at fourteen and her
next kiss was at fifteen.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
Honestly, she's doing great.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah, it only took a year to get it.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
Come on, it's pretty pretty darns great.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
And I guarantee you that's the only time she's ever
vomited on something. I mean probably, yeah, So keep that
as unless.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Of hers.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
I don't know, did I.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Get triggered into vomit or like, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
I said it, and I was like, I hope no
one questions it. Did you ever say something? You're like,
we'll just move along, We'll just go moving right along.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Why no one? No one even heard it. We'll cut it, Well,
we'll cut it, you know.
Speaker 6 (12:29):
No, No, I stand by all bad jokes I make.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Don't cut it.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Do you remember your first kiss?
Speaker 6 (12:38):
Yes, I kiss somebody in high school, but it wasn't
super eventful, okay. And then I truly didn't kiss another
person until uh, I think I was twenty, you.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Were in high school, and then not another person until
nineteen years.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
I told you the boys did not reciprocate feelings that
I had for them.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
I was zitty and chill and had wild hair all
the time, like I truly was a mess. But this
was outside I think I was twenty, and it was
outside the Blarney Stone, which was a bar on forty
seventh and eighth, and there was a man with a
(13:18):
feather earring and I was like, I like your earring,
and he was like, put it in your ear and
I was like okay. And then we just like started
making out on the street and I was like whoa.
And that's the first time a tongue was in my
mouth and I was like, oh, your.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Tongue is a cold. I was like, I feel like
I'm kissing like a kimono dragon, like some sort of reptile.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Why was his tongue cold.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
I a question you asked somebody. You don't to pull
it back and go why is that tongue cold? I
was just like, okay, did you want your feather?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I was gonna say, did you have the feather earing in?
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I think I wore it all night?
Speaker 6 (13:52):
And then we like kept finding each other to like
make out, and the drunker I got, the less it
mattered that.
Speaker 5 (13:57):
His tongue was maybe he was dead.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
It was in highly sight, so wild, but yeah, that
that was like a the first memorable kiss that I had.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
I'll say, yeah, okay, I don't even know how to
I don't even know. I think another pitch for you,
I've pitched Dancing with the Stars. I have another pitch
for you. I think if you were to go back,
you don't even have to bring them to you. Fly
fly these people out here. If you were to question
on your podcast, why won't you date me? Mm hmm,
(14:26):
the people you went to junior high in high school with,
I guarantee you there would be some people who were like,
I didn't think you'd ever be interested in me?
Speaker 6 (14:35):
No, I really don't think so. I look back at
old pictures and I'm like poof. I was doing something
and it wasn't good.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
But everyone feels that way about their pictures.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
When they look back, you're like, oh, I was such
a duebo, but like we're not. We weren't as big
of duebos as we think we were. There's just because
it's us.
Speaker 6 (14:51):
In seventh grade, I didn't smile for my picture and
I truly looked like Queen Latifah and said it off
in her mugshot, like I when I tell you like,
I was not doing I was not doing great. And
my mother even was like, why didn't you smile?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
And I was like, I don't know. Who was a choice.
I made a choice.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Did you ever talk to friends about their first like,
did you ever try to gather intel about kissing or
anything sexual?
Speaker 6 (15:19):
Well, I feel like my core group of girlfriends didn't
really start dating until like high school high school, because
in middle school we were.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Just like, yeah, the hold or holding hand with you.
I was like, I got my boyfriend.
Speaker 6 (15:34):
It was like too much, yeah, but I I guess
I knew like people were having sex, but I always
remember feeling like.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
Hotey of the time.
Speaker 6 (15:44):
You were so busy in I school, were in school
for eight hours that's our full time job, like in
any of homework.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
That's more job, I know, wouldn't it? When are you
doing it?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
And I've got to talk on the phone to my
friends that I just saw in school all day all night. Yeah,
where I know, I remember that too.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Did you clubs in high school?
Speaker 6 (16:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I was back and forth between Boy meets Us Yes, yes,
and my regular school. So I was only there on
hiatus weeks.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
You had two jobs.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Yeah, I was there on every hiatus we come back
in school, and then the season would wrap in March,
and so I'd go full time from March until June.
But I couldn't really like be a cheerleader or do
any sports or be a part of any clubs.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
But I did go to all.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
The football games. Oh see, that's nice.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
And I went to all the dances, and you know
I had to do that. Okay, So a good five
years between your first and second kiss. My first kiss
was on television on Boy Meets World. I truthfully don't
remember what my real life first kiss was.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
I have no memory of it, just the.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
One on two.
Speaker 6 (16:45):
So on set, were you like, are you the type
of actor who's like, yes, I know how to do this,
and then you just try it, or do you have
like questions and queries?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
At twelve, I had no idea how to do anything.
I had never acted before. I had never done anything,
and so I didn't feel comfortable asking. I just tried
stuff and then was told that was terrible. Here's how
you do it. And then was given like line by
line readings for every single thing in the script, really correct,
(17:18):
and my mom would write notes, and then I'd go
home and my mom and I would work on it,
trying to just do the line readings I had been given,
and then I would do that.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Yeah, that's why I have a terrible actor.
Speaker 6 (17:30):
I don't think you're a terrible actor, but I think
a better approach maybe would be like getting you an
acting coach and asking you to do a range of
emotions for each life.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Well, listen, everyone's got their different different methods.
Speaker 6 (17:41):
I guess it was the nineties. Yes, it was the nineties.
It was just like a bunch of men in charge
who were just kind of dicks.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
There was a man in charge who just said, tell
the girl how to say it the way I wanted.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I'll tell her how to say it well, and we'll
get what we want.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
But isn't it kind of weird that like that first kiss,
which is so salient though because one it's on TV
for millions to see too. It was in front of
a two hundred and fifty person live studio audience, and
my grandparents were there and my parents were there, and
we didn't rehearse the actual kiss all week. They wanted
it to be real. So my actual real the first
(18:14):
time my lips had ever touched another person's lips are
the is in the moment when I slam him up
against a locker by the way, as a.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Twelve year old handcuff.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I remember this scene and I plant one on his
face with all the confidence in the world and inside
shaking like a leaf.
Speaker 6 (18:32):
And they wanted it funny if they thought you required
line reads.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
But they were like, this, she can do on that,
she'll do this.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Yeah, this show this.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
We don't have to help her with. That's interesting, she'll
be fine.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
We'll just say that on your behalf, save it, save
it for the live show. And then you, I mean,
had to hard to top that memory wise, But like,
that's that's a TV kiss, That's that wasn't a kiss
because I had a crush on something.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
How come I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Who I liked enough to have a real first kiss
with that.
Speaker 6 (19:02):
Bothers me, Well, do you remember the first time you
were kissed where you were like.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Oh that was magic?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Yes, I do.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Actually, I think that's it. Okay, you're right.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
You're right, because maybe that first real kiss was also
a situation. I was like, I think I'm supposed to
kiss now.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
I mean, I just told you.
Speaker 6 (19:16):
My first kiss is the first one I remember, and
it's wild.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
It is wild. You're right, you're right.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
I do like that first one where you're like, oh
my god, magic just happened. I think that's really special
to remember.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Ballad. Well, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Thank you for checking out this bonus episode of teen
Beat with Daniel Fishle. Please follow the podcast on Instagram
at teen beat pod and stay updated on this feed
so that every week you get both of our episodes.
Merch is available now at teenbetpod dot com. Go check
it out, and remember we are looking for your embarrassing
teenage stories. Send a voice memo to teenbeatpod at gmail
(19:50):
dot com. We like them in the one minute, minute
and a half range, so keep that in mind and
you could hear your own tale of shame right here
on a future teen beat Nicole. You have been an
absolute joy. I'm not surprised in the least, but thank
you so much for spending your time with me.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Thank you for having me being a part.
Speaker 6 (20:08):
Of its delightful I think my phone is buzzy. I'm
so sorry I have not heard it at all. I'll
hear it now. My potato is ringing.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Oh I I okay, you a potato?
Speaker 6 (20:17):
What I Sometimes you see things You're like, well, that
was insane. I have a potato shaped case, so I
call my phone my potato, and I constantly say it.
When I haven't explained it to people, I'm like, where's
my potato? And people are like, wait, what.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
The funny thing is?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
When you said it, I immediately thought you must have
a very old phone, because one time we had another
co host of mine record something and it looked so
bad and he said, what did you record that on
a potato? So when I when I hear potato, I
think of like an ancient phone or just.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
You know, a potato.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Nope, just a potato shaped case from Amazon. I'll show
it to you.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Thank you so much for being with me. You kept
us laughing for an hour and a half, if not longer,
So thank you.
Speaker 5 (20:57):
Oh thanks.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Teen Beat is an iHeart podcast produced and hosted by
Danielle Fischel. Executive producers Jensen Carp and Amy Sugarman, Executive
in charge of production Danielle Romo, producer and editor Tara Subach.
The theme song is by mar Coppus, Yes that Mark Coppus.
Follow us on Instagram at teen beat Pod.
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