October 20, 2025 • 7 mins
A life-long friendship is hard to find, but so special when you do.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Baby, I know you can't get enough. So here's a
little more mess because I have more to say. Now
let me tell you something messy. Well, Hello, a little
bonus content for you. Happy messy Mondays if you're listening
to this on Monday or happy whatever day you're listening
(00:22):
to this. So on our last episode, we had one
of my messies on Devere Rogers who, as you could
tell by our vibes, that's my sister, that's them loud girl.
The what you experienced listening to your audio when we're
by ourselves times that by like ten, we'd be really
(00:45):
cutting up and having a good time no matter where
we are. And I'm obsessed. And how did we meet?
I think we've talked about this on the show, but
I'll tell you again how we became friends because you know,
I think our my chosen family has been everything to me.
And Tavie and I met when we were eighteen. We
met freshman year of college and we're now, you know,
Divire's twenty one and I'm twenty two. Years we're in
(01:07):
our thirties, so it's been a twenty year friendship. And
we met when we were both in the closet still
but I think Davier did tell this story. I think
last season that I slept with his roommate and his
roommate told him. I didn't know what really told him,
but then eventually, you know, we both came out a
couple of years later, and Davier has been just you know,
(01:30):
whenever I go out, if I'm like, oh, I gotta
go to this thing, and like, I don't know who's
going to be there, and then deVie shows up and
it is just joy there. I admire my friends who
like because you know, I'm I know, because I do
this show and what I talk about. I know people
think that I'm like this big extrovert and I love
(01:51):
being out and I love being social, but also I
don't like also like, I'm actually quite an introvert and
I can do like one on ones that I'm really
great at. That's why I'm great at. Oh I think
I'm great at doing this show because I could do
one on ones, I could even one on two. But
when I'm in like big group situations, I'm not sure
(02:12):
where to look, who to talk to. I just get
in my head. But Devere always calms me down. You know.
That's the beautiful thing about a bestie. You know, find
you a bestie who when you're with them, you breathe
a little easier. You know, we put so much value
on our romantic relationships, and I do hope that if
you want a romantic relationship, that you find somebody who
(02:33):
calms you down. But also don't ignore your friends who
do the same thing, or the friendships that you should
be and I hope are the ones where when you
show up, you breathe a little deeper. You know. Sometimes
you were friends that stress you to fuck out. Some
of y'all got friends. I used to, and I've done
some pruning over the years and so I don't anymore.
But we've had those friends who, when you're around them,
(02:55):
they stress you to fuck out. Well, they always trying
to start some shit with either you somebody else. You
gotta pull, you know what I'm saying Like that, I'm
not telling you to get rid of it or prune,
but like, just be aware of that, Just just put
some attention on that. Observe what that is and what
that is doing to your your nervous system in your heart,
(03:16):
and how you are able to or not able to
settle when you're around that energy. And then pay attention
to the people that you feel peace around, and the
people that you feel peace around. Nurture that because the
world and life is tough enough, like I ain't gonna
hold you like as it is. Life is tough, you
know what I'm saying, Like even even if you've got
(03:38):
the most cushed version of it. And maybe that's not true.
I don't know what. You know, the people who have
endless money, but you know, every people got endless money
and then like their relationships, their family dynamics are fucked
or they're you know, people don't have money, but they're like,
you know, they're abundant in their happiness because they say
the little things. So let me not kind of go
(03:59):
down that. All I'll say is where do you have peace?
Do you have peace? Invest in the things that bring
you peace, invest in the people that bring you peace.
I'm not saying that storms won't come, of course they do.
But in the storm, to get through the storm, you
(04:20):
need light. You are part of that light, but so
is your community. So make sure that you have a
community of people who would show up, who know how
to settle you, who know how to calm you, who
know how to soothe you. Who know how to bring
you back to yourself. I think that's the greatest one
(04:44):
of the greatest things about my friends, and de Vere
in particular, since that's who we're talking about right now,
is that he can always bring me back to myself.
I might spiral the fuck out, girl, because I'm human,
you know, I might want to fall to my knees
over some shit because life is tough. But Divier always
reaches his hand out and picks me back up. And
(05:06):
you can hear his voice, remember who the fuck you are, nigga,
you know what I'm saying, Like he really really does,
like remember who the fuck you are. And I'm forever
grateful to him for that, for being that friend I
was saying to somebody else the other day, you know,
like that thirty eight has been so special because you
(05:27):
really do, see you've had these friends for decades now,
and who's lasted. And I'm so blessed that so many
of the most important friends of my life are still
around and still in my life and you know, still
have my back and I have theirs. But it's beautiful
because you've been over twenty years, You've been through some shit,
You've seen some shit, you've been. You know, they met
(05:50):
some partners, and partners have gone and come and gone,
and you know, relationships and identities and you know, moving
cross countries like a lot has happened in twenty years.
And for people to still be rocking with you and
still be loving on you, and for you to still
be loving on them, and for you to still feel
peace with them. Fuck, baby, that's that's wealth. That's fucking wealth.
(06:16):
That's fucking wealth. All right, Well, until we meet again,
ask about the politics of that dick before you make
it spit, make sure they eat the kittie before they
beat the kittie. And just in case you haven't heard
it yet, today you are so deeply loved. I love
you so much. Bye, and I love you too, messy
(06:40):
patron hoes. All right, y'all, have a good week. I'm
gonna see you on Thursday for a new episode of
tell Me Something Messy. Don't forget. You can find me
on Instagram at Brandon called Goodman. You can find our
podcast tell Me Something Messy. You can also join the
community on substack Brandon call Goodman dot substack dot Listen
to tell Me Something Messy on the iHeartRadio podcast or
(07:04):
anywhere you get your podcast. Have I said it already?
I know I did, but I'm gonna say it again. Baby,
I love you. Bye.
Baby, I know you can't get enough. So here's a
little more mess because I have more to say. Now
let me tell you something messy. Well, Hello, a little
bonus content for you. Happy messy Mondays if you're listening
to this on Monday or happy whatever day you're listening
(00:22):
to this. So on our last episode, we had one
of my messies on Devere Rogers who, as you could
tell by our vibes, that's my sister, that's them loud girl.
The what you experienced listening to your audio when we're
by ourselves times that by like ten, we'd be really
(00:45):
cutting up and having a good time no matter where
we are. And I'm obsessed. And how did we meet?
I think we've talked about this on the show, but
I'll tell you again how we became friends because you know,
I think our my chosen family has been everything to me.
And Tavie and I met when we were eighteen. We
met freshman year of college and we're now, you know,
Divire's twenty one and I'm twenty two. Years we're in
(01:07):
our thirties, so it's been a twenty year friendship. And
we met when we were both in the closet still
but I think Davier did tell this story. I think
last season that I slept with his roommate and his
roommate told him. I didn't know what really told him,
but then eventually, you know, we both came out a
couple of years later, and Davier has been just you know,
(01:30):
whenever I go out, if I'm like, oh, I gotta
go to this thing, and like, I don't know who's
going to be there, and then deVie shows up and
it is just joy there. I admire my friends who
like because you know, I'm I know, because I do
this show and what I talk about. I know people
think that I'm like this big extrovert and I love
(01:51):
being out and I love being social, but also I
don't like also like, I'm actually quite an introvert and
I can do like one on ones that I'm really
great at. That's why I'm great at. Oh I think
I'm great at doing this show because I could do
one on ones, I could even one on two. But
when I'm in like big group situations, I'm not sure
(02:12):
where to look, who to talk to. I just get
in my head. But Devere always calms me down. You know.
That's the beautiful thing about a bestie. You know, find
you a bestie who when you're with them, you breathe
a little easier. You know, we put so much value
on our romantic relationships, and I do hope that if
you want a romantic relationship, that you find somebody who
(02:33):
calms you down. But also don't ignore your friends who
do the same thing, or the friendships that you should
be and I hope are the ones where when you
show up, you breathe a little deeper. You know. Sometimes
you were friends that stress you to fuck out. Some
of y'all got friends. I used to, and I've done
some pruning over the years and so I don't anymore.
But we've had those friends who, when you're around them,
(02:55):
they stress you to fuck out. Well, they always trying
to start some shit with either you somebody else. You
gotta pull, you know what I'm saying Like that, I'm
not telling you to get rid of it or prune,
but like, just be aware of that, Just just put
some attention on that. Observe what that is and what
that is doing to your your nervous system in your heart,
(03:16):
and how you are able to or not able to
settle when you're around that energy. And then pay attention
to the people that you feel peace around, and the
people that you feel peace around. Nurture that because the
world and life is tough enough, like I ain't gonna
hold you like as it is. Life is tough, you
know what I'm saying, Like even even if you've got
(03:38):
the most cushed version of it. And maybe that's not true.
I don't know what. You know, the people who have
endless money, but you know, every people got endless money
and then like their relationships, their family dynamics are fucked
or they're you know, people don't have money, but they're like,
you know, they're abundant in their happiness because they say
the little things. So let me not kind of go
(03:59):
down that. All I'll say is where do you have peace?
Do you have peace? Invest in the things that bring
you peace, invest in the people that bring you peace.
I'm not saying that storms won't come, of course they do.
But in the storm, to get through the storm, you
(04:20):
need light. You are part of that light, but so
is your community. So make sure that you have a
community of people who would show up, who know how
to settle you, who know how to calm you, who
know how to soothe you. Who know how to bring
you back to yourself. I think that's the greatest one
(04:44):
of the greatest things about my friends, and de Vere
in particular, since that's who we're talking about right now,
is that he can always bring me back to myself.
I might spiral the fuck out, girl, because I'm human,
you know, I might want to fall to my knees
over some shit because life is tough. But Divier always
reaches his hand out and picks me back up. And
(05:06):
you can hear his voice, remember who the fuck you are, nigga,
you know what I'm saying, Like he really really does,
like remember who the fuck you are. And I'm forever
grateful to him for that, for being that friend I
was saying to somebody else the other day, you know,
like that thirty eight has been so special because you
(05:27):
really do, see you've had these friends for decades now,
and who's lasted. And I'm so blessed that so many
of the most important friends of my life are still
around and still in my life and you know, still
have my back and I have theirs. But it's beautiful
because you've been over twenty years, You've been through some shit,
You've seen some shit, you've been. You know, they met
(05:50):
some partners, and partners have gone and come and gone,
and you know, relationships and identities and you know, moving
cross countries like a lot has happened in twenty years.
And for people to still be rocking with you and
still be loving on you, and for you to still
be loving on them, and for you to still feel
peace with them. Fuck, baby, that's that's wealth. That's fucking wealth.
(06:16):
That's fucking wealth. All right, Well, until we meet again,
ask about the politics of that dick before you make
it spit, make sure they eat the kittie before they
beat the kittie. And just in case you haven't heard
it yet, today you are so deeply loved. I love
you so much. Bye, and I love you too, messy
(06:40):
patron hoes. All right, y'all, have a good week. I'm
gonna see you on Thursday for a new episode of
tell Me Something Messy. Don't forget. You can find me
on Instagram at Brandon called Goodman. You can find our
podcast tell Me Something Messy. You can also join the
community on substack Brandon call Goodman dot substack dot Listen
to tell Me Something Messy on the iHeartRadio podcast or
(07:04):
anywhere you get your podcast. Have I said it already?
I know I did, but I'm gonna say it again. Baby,
I love you. Bye.
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