Asif Ali

This week on Thanks Dad, Ego sits down with actor and comedian Asif Ali! To start, Asif thanks his Deli Boys costars. Ego and Asif chat about doing bits on set, learning job hustles from his family, and getting scammed. They also dive into what job he would have if he wasn’t in entertainment, making yourself cry, and staying off his phone.

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello, guys. I'm so excited to have this next conversation.
I feel like it's gonna be a good one. We
actually have some mutual friends, so that's always a good time.
Stay tuned. Just mere moments from now. Stay tuned. I'm
gonna be talking to Ali. So exciting mine. Don't spit

(00:33):
out your coffee. Do not do a spit take first,
I'm not doing just off, don't. It doesn't matter, it
doesn't matter, it doesn't even matter. It doesn't even matter. Okay, relax,
sit back, relax, enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
I'm so chilly. I'm so chill.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
I'm gonna go to sleep. Please, don't go to sleep.
I have to talk to you. Okay, guys, this is huge. Yeah,
I'm not talking to you yet. I'm talking to the people.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Okay, okay, the people.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
My next guest is an actor and comedian who you
can see in season two of the hit comedy series
Deli Boys on Hulu, May twenty eighth. It's come on, yo, yeah, people,
that's get some energy.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Crazy And there's people right outside the glare. They're working. Yeah. Yeah,
the office people are pretending to be working, but they're
really just like, I can't believe he's here.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
He's here. They're flipping out. There were crowds outside when
I came in today.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah. Yeah, people are banging on the glass let me in.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
How do you handle that?

Speaker 2 (01:32):
It's tough.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
I have to run run to an uber, even run
to an uber.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
I have, but not because I'm being recognized. It's because
I called it too early and they're like sconds. You're
getting weight wait time charges, which respect but also really
does stress me.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
It does stress you up.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I'm like, I want my ride to cost this much?
Please tip?

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Do you ever do that thing where it goes? It's
a little bit cheaper if you wait fifteen minutes and
then you hit that and they go, he's he's in front.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
I hate that. I do do that, yeah, and it
pisses me off and I can never get an uber.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
I'm like, I'm brushing my teeth, dude, right.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
I'm still putting on my makeup? The fuck? Can you
circle the block twenty two times? Us? If? Can I
ask you or what you want to say thanks to?

Speaker 2 (02:13):
I want to say thanks to my co stars Porna,
Juggernutin and Sager Shake for making you know, working on
the show so fun and making you know, just all
anytime we go talk about the show or on the road,
it just feels like a fun vacation, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Okay, it's a vibe shout out to them. Yeah, is
it like working? It looks like best friends.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
It's the best. Oh, my goodness, because I've worked on
things where I'm like, it's a job. It's very clearly
this is a job. And then we say Okay, goodbye,
I'll see you later, and then you show up whatever,
we're not hanging out whatever, And this is like so fun.
So to be on a show that you actually like
and then you actually enjoy being with the people, like
we're in the same hotel having fun. Yeah, it's the best.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Oh, that makes me really happy. Do you guys have
any bits you can tell me about.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
We have so many bits. We have so many bits.
We do a bit. There's this Bollywood movie Kubby Cushy
Cubby gum, and there's a song that goes, h kubby
who'sh she hubby gum.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
We can't pay for that, so don't do.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
The show's over. By the way, guys, this is the
last episode of the show. You had to pay thirty
million dollars.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
This is the we wrapped it up.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
And so whenever we're doing something so Porna's like Porna's
I never have it ever. And so like when people
see porna, they're like, oh my god, you're like it's different.
When you're comedian, they go, you're funny, you're funny or funny,
but when they see someone goes drama, they go, oh
my god, you mean something to me. And so whenever
they do that to her, she's like, very sweet. But

(03:49):
then sometimes there will be people that are like kind
of a lot and so mean. Saga will look at
it like and then we'll make eye contact with her
and then we'll start singing the song and then she'd
be like, okay, okay, we gotta we gotta get out
of here. So we like we you know, we have
like little dumb bits like that. Yeah. We do a
lot of speaking in Hindian order to each other doing interviews. Okay,

(04:11):
like we're doing like red Carpet and we'll just randomly
be talking about the interview in another life.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
So you are talking about them.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
It's the best, the best. It's oftentimes compliments.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Okay, oh well that's nice. Google Translate's gonna get you.
I saw a person on threads say that they're using
They're using Google Translate everywhere they go.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
And you can't have anything now.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
The air, can't have your own land anything.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Can I have my own language? Can I have a sidebar?

Speaker 1 (04:36):
Can I have a sidebar with my friends?

Speaker 2 (04:38):
They're like no, No. Zuckerberg wants to get his little
hands and his fohak or whatever, his litt mullet into everything.
He's got chains outside of the shirt, and that really
concerns me.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Who does that?

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Was the turn for Zuckerberg. Once he got there, Once
he got the chain outside the shirt, I'm like, this
guy is off the rails.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Do you wear chains ever?

Speaker 2 (04:55):
I do, but I never wear them outside the shirt
outside unless it's like a thing where a sty this goes. Hey,
this seems to be outside the shirt.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Okay, but why are you tucking?

Speaker 2 (05:04):
I'm talking because I like the hint of it, the.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Hint of a chain.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
I like the hint like a little like a little
bit right here, like a hint of like okay, it's
like a little bit of a thing. Okay, But when
it's out this is a different interview. Now, when it's
this is a different interview. Yeah, put it back, put
it back. We can't be doing the chain. It's too early,
I know, to have that chain out like that. Excuse
me when I show up to a coffee shop and
chain's out in the morning. I was out last night.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Okay, yeah, yeah, tuck that thing. Okay, tuck them on
the chain, you know. But also I know people tuck
their chain because they want to get robbed. Oh this
is not but to tuck the chain because you're about
to get in a fight.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
And yeah, yeah that ladies.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Take the earrings off. The men took the chain.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Have you ever been in a situation where you needed
to take your earrings off?

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yes, because the material is fake and it's making my ears.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Oh okay, it's never for a fight, but never for
it because you're allergic.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Because I'm not bringing an allergic reaction and my ears
are itching and bleeding. Yes, ye, desperately like nine one one,
we need to take these up. That has happened. But
for a fight. No. Have you ever had to tuck
your chain because you're about to fight?

Speaker 2 (06:07):
No, people don't really want to fight me. No, And
I think like when I was young, I was like
when I was a kid, I had friends who people
were like, man, I want to kick that guy. I'm
going to fight you dude, Like they felt like, oh,
I'm being threatened right now just by your existence.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
I never had that, And as a kid sometimes I
would think like, man, that'd be kind of.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Cool if somebody wanted to fight me.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
Or was threatened by me. And then as you get older,
you go, actually, that's a huge liability it is to
be walking around and people like had a friend Chris
when I was in high school who was like just
like a tall, big guy, and for some reason, every
time he went somewhere, some other dude would be like,
I want to fight this guy just because he was
a big dude.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
But was he like a teddy bear sweetersh guy? That's
that's always the case. Where did you grow up.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
A group in Phoenix, Arizona?

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Phoenix?

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah, my dad got a job there. All my relatives
live in in the Midwest, like Chicago, Wisconsin, and my
dad got a job in Phoenix. So we grew up
just we were the only that's it, you.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Were the only.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
We were the only. You film you.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Say the rest, the only we were the only. Okay, wait,
did you have siblings.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
I have three older brothers. Yeah, mother's I feel so
bad for my mom. All boys, four boys and a dad.
So it's five dudes. Oh mom is a g So
I kind of had to be that that kid who
was like, I'll go with you.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, you were like her pocket book. Yeah, I'll go
with you. Oh your are you her favorite?

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Probably? Honestly, come on, we can't do that. You can't
do that.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
I want to. I mean, come on, it's between me
and you.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yeah, yeah, between me and you.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
You're you're her favorite for sure, right, my baby? Are you?
Of course I'm the youngest as well.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
I have three Oh so we're both of four, yes, exactly.
That's the spread.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
The spread is two boys, two girls, and so it
was boy girl boy girl parents dream. I mean, can
you imagine, Oh my god, it's the best. Are you
super sensitive?

Speaker 2 (08:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yes? How does that compare to your siblings? Where do
they fall?

Speaker 2 (08:10):
I think I'm sensitive to people's feelings, meaning like when
I was growing up, it was a lot of like
I think I realized later on that I was probably
like my mom's therapist a little bit, you know what
I mean, Like I was a soundboard.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Sure, yeah, do you go to therapy now? Yeah, and
have you guys ever addressed in therapy. The fact that
you were maybe your mom's therapist is not a bad thing,
good thing.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
I think it was a neutral thing. I think it
wasn't in the sense of like, hey, I'm putting this
all on you.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
It was more of like, hey, I'm just going to
tell you because you're here. Yeah, I'm just going to
tell you what's popping off in my life kind of thing.
But it wasn't like, this is your responsibility. You need
to help you gotta help me, kid, you got I know,
you don't have a license. You got to drive me
to work.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
I have three other kids. You see how they act.
You see how your father acts.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Right right outside the door, and you're the only person.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
What was your relationship like with your dad growing up?

Speaker 2 (09:07):
Great? What a fun guy, what a fun interesting you know,
in hindsight, I mean he's still alive. I shouldn't say
in hindsight, but but just a fun dude. But to
be in a marriage, I mean he was very much
outside of the norm of what a normal husband would be.
He had a regular job, got laid off, then took

(09:29):
all of his savings and went to southern California and
went to where they quarantined animals being brought into America.
So you can't bring in animals where they got quarantined.
They're auctioning. They were auctioning them off. And my dad
just bought a bunch of birds, like jungle birds, and

(09:49):
so then he bought and sold jungle That was our
family business for like.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
So you guys were living in southern California, we.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Were living minivan, drove by himself, came back with a
bunch of jungle birds, and my mom was like, why
did you not tell me about this?

Speaker 1 (10:05):
He did it. He took the family van. It was
for the kids.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, he was like, trust me, this is a good
business to sell to jungle birds, macaws, cockatoo's.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Oh dad.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
So then we did that as like a full business
for like ten fifteen years, and we all had little jobs.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
What was your job?

Speaker 2 (10:22):
My job was to tame the birds because I have
like a like a animals are like cool with me.
They know I'm not the guy they hated my dad.
They're like you, you're the reason reason I'm in this cage.
I hate you. But for me, they were like I
would just every day I would come home from school
and then I would do this and then they would
like stand on my.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Fingers, Oh oh eat, okay okay.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
And that was my job to like so they would
be you know, used to human touch. Yeah, that was
my deal. So after school I'd come home, we bought
a zoo.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Basically, I'm like, I have you should see my brain
doing the math. I'm like, I have so many I
don't know where to begin.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
It was something called we would go to something called
bird Mart, which was basically the comic con of birds.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
When where did it happen.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
In Phoenix in downtown in the big convention center. Yeah,
And we'd go there and everyone bring there. You bring
your best fucking birds, You bring your bomb ass all
your baddy ass birds. You bring them to the convention center.
And other people who odd people yeah, would come and
uh they would you know, die hard bird people. They
would come there, and people would buy birds and and

(11:27):
it's all over this spectrum. My favorite part about going
to Birdmark is inevitably a bird would get out, sure,
and then you see a bunch of like grown ass
men with like nets on like fifty foot poles, just
like trying.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
To try, but indoors it was into conventions.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
And a bird just like on a beam being like
I'm free, I'm free, and you're never going to get
a hold of me, dude, And the guy's like, that's
four hundred dollars. That's four hundred dollars on that light
right there. Let the birds live the birds.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Did a bird ever get free? And then like get
for real free, like I'm in the sky now.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
Uh. Yes. It's usually not a great thing because if
they've grown up domesticated, they don't have the skill set
to survive unless they leave in a group, like in
California there are groups of like birds that have like
just escaped or left or whatever. But if they can
find like a pod to be with, then they'll be fine.
But if it's just one guy out there by himself,

(12:22):
it's pretty tough because they're like, you're getting served meals
every day, How are you? What are you gonna do?
The streets are tough, Okay, the streets are tough.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
The skies guys are tough.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
So he did that for a while and then he
got out of that. He took he took the money
he made from that, and by the way, were not
declaring any of this money.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
It was it was a legal money.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
This is a table. It was underneath it.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
It was under there.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
It was under that.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Oa.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
Wait, so there. My mom had a regular job. My
mom's a respiratory therapist, and she was working at a hospital,
working in the nikkey with little babies, little premium babies.
So she had the the the job that got us
healthcare and all that. And then my dad's like, what
if I just funneled a little bit?

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Did he have a side job that was more legit?

Speaker 2 (13:09):
No, it was just that Okay, it was just because
the birds. At that time, this was like when like
the late nineties. This was like the last time Americans
had money, is what he was telling, Like he tells
me now is like that was the last time Americans
had like extra money. And so that's when people were

(13:29):
getting this. Like when Mike Tyson had a tiger. Yeah,
that one lady went on Oprah and said I had
a monkey, and it turned on me.

Speaker 1 (13:36):
He was supposed to have the monkey didn't turn on
you just realized I don't like this bitch. Yeah, Like
I want to go home.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
I want to live in a one bedroom apartment, like
your place, and.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Maybe if she had a nicer place, it wouldn't have
turned I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
So this was like the last time where people were
like I'm over dogs and cats. They're like, give me something,
give me a sugar glider.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
So it was that time he got in at the
right time. People were like, yeah, I want a jungle bird.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
Oh wow.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
And it was the first time I had ever met
people that work in the arts who were balling. I
met this lady. She bought like a bird for like
three grand and my dad was like, what do you
do and she was like, oh, I write country songs.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
Oh, She'd write songs for all these big country artists,
and she was balling. We went to her house. She
had a house and like the the front of her
house was like this gigantic glass. The top was open.
It was like this glass, like almost like aviary thing
in the front of her house.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
So she had all these beautiful birds living in this.
It was the most insane thing I had ever seen.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Stunning.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah, I was.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Maybe shouldn't be the case, but stunning.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yes, absolutely stunning.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Were you telling people at school what your dad did
given that it was under this table, No no, you were
allowed to say yeah. So it wasn't like it was
like legal.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
It was just like, I mean, we also lived in
a neighborhood where everybody was kind of doing stuff on it.
Everybody had some other type of job.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
What's the craziest thing. Anyone's parents craziest.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
I mean, we definitely were the easiest. But there are
people like, like, you know, there was like somebody's dad
was like selling drugs or whatever.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Likely casually, yeah, you.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Know what I mean, like whatever. But I remember bringing
to like show and Tell day at school. I was
always flexing. But the birds, oh you brought? Oh you
have a you have a lizard like the ship out
so you can speak three languages.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
So were you the cool kid at school?

Speaker 2 (15:22):
No, that doesn't help. But I love the confidence.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Oh here's my bird.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
You ever see Steve Irwin's kids walking around?

Speaker 1 (15:31):
I haven't not personally.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
You gotta get out. They're like proud, Yeah, they're like, yeah,
we're animal people. Yeah that's how I felt.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
That's how you and so did you get picked on
at all?

Speaker 2 (15:46):
Like brown stuff? Oh that's not fun. You were the
only Yeah that's not fun.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
That's not fun.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
It turns yeah, it wasn't like, hey, four eyes they
went straight to that's sure.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, I mean it was Phoenix, Arizona.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, nineties, early two thousands. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, Well, I'm sorry that happened here.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
Like I'm here, I'm up to this and that makes
it work.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
I hate that for you, but I mean I feel
like a lot of people can relate to that experience.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
Where do you think you got your comedic sensibility?

Speaker 2 (16:18):
Probably from my dad and my uh and my brothers. Yeah, yeah,
silly people.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
Are your brothers in the industry in anyway.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
Ship, one of my brothers is my manager. Really, he's
a manager of my whole life.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
How does that work?

Speaker 2 (16:33):
That's the best. He used to work in finance. And
when I lived in Chicago, when I went to college
in Chicago, he's working in finance, and I was doing
little gigs and stuff like that, and uh, you're gonna
love this. So this is crazy. So he when he
was working in finance. He remember one time he asked me,
I was like doing zanies and stuff like that Chicago,
and he was like, hey, man, so like you should

(16:53):
do gigs at colleges. I remember I was in college.
People would come and perform and like the money was
like really good because like you're making what twenty bucks
here in the city. And I was like, yeah, I
really want to do colleges. You know, I have to
get like a good tape and then have to submit
it to a college agent and whatever whatever. And he goes, yeah, Okay,
how are you gonna meet these college agents when I go,

(17:14):
I don't know, I have this good tape. I got
to like, you know, be out in the streets. I
got to meet people whatever. And he's like, you know,
when I was in college, people would just call sometimes.
It would just sometimes we would just get calls because
he was like on an activities board kind of thing,
and they would like pitch their people, and then we
kind of like looked at each other and we're like,

(17:34):
oh shit. And I went to the library at school
and I googled all of the like activities people at
every single college that was like within like a drive
or a train from Chicago, and I gave him the list.
And then every day at work during his corporate job,
at lunch, he would call and just pretend to be
working at a company. So he would call you and

(17:55):
be like, hey youre I go, yeah, you work at
Central Indiana University. I'm just wondering if you booked out
all the entertainment for the year and you'd be like, no,
not fully and be like, are you interested in like
maybe comedians, and they would always say yes because it's
such an easy setup. It's one microphone, whatever, whatever. It's
not like booking a whole band. And he'd be like, listen,
this is the greatest thing. He'd be like, listen, I

(18:17):
have a lot of big clients. I have Dave Chappelle,
Jerry seinfhone, you know what I mean. And then he'd
do this. He'd be like, you don't want them, and
they'd be like, oh, I don't because I feel like
I really would.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
I kind of really do Central Indiana University.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
And then then he'd be like he'd be like, here's
why you don't want them, Like between us, which is
such a good salesman.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
They're not.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
I'm sorry they pipe in the last man. Between us. No, No,
he would be like, between us, these people are so
famous at like if they get invited to a party,
guess who they're going to cancel on you? And then
he's putting smut on their names. But it's genius, because
then he'd be like, but you know who I do have.

(19:06):
I have this young guy who's in college right now
you can connect with the kids. And he's already on tour.
I wasn't on tour. There was no tour, was never
even a hit to the tour. But he's like, he's
on tour. I'm going to send you his tape. Yeah,
And you know what, because he's on tour, I'm going
to give you reduced fee because he's already like you
don't have to get his flight or anything like that.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
And I booked so many schools doing that.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
And I went on a proper tour yeah. And I
would just get on the train, greyhound, whatever, and I
would get there and my tape was good, and I booked.
And then through that a collegation was like, hey, who's
this guy doing thirty college gigs that throughout, you know,
not having like a proper whatever. And then so I
got a proper collegation and then I toured whatever. And

(19:52):
then through that my brother's like, wait a minute, this
whole business is crazy. You know, you know, you don't
even need a degree to be an agent or a man.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Turns out.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
You can drop out of the fifth grade and if
you got the right client, you could be a gazillion there.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
So you don't even need a degree to own Facebook.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
You don't get your chain out of your shirt. Get
your chain out of.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
Your shirt and go make some fucking phone calls.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
I designed these new creep glasses where you're recording everything.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
No conversation is private.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
And I can translate everything no sidecards.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
That was brilliant of your brother.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
And then and he started then when I moved to
La he was we were so good at working together.
My management that I had the time was like, hey man,
you just want to work with us. And then that's
how he started working in a proper company. And then
he was like, fuck this, I want to go independent.
He created his own company and he's had some of
the same clients for like ten plus years. I'm not
the only guy and they're all doing great, okay. And

(20:53):
then he is now working at a proper company. He
got like poached during COVID. They're like, hey man, you're
you're doing really great just on your like as an
independent thing. You and your friend you're do you want
to come work with us?

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Damn? That is brilliant.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
It's that immigrant hustle.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
Shit, it is that hustle. But you know, here's the
thing is, people you can the thing about a phone call,
which I'm petitioning to bring phone calls back.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
Got to bring phone calls.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
Let's bring phone calls back.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
I like a phone call. I even I even enjoy
a cold call. You never know out of the blue. Yeah,
why not. I'll pick up if I'm free, And if
I won't, it's gonna go to voicemail.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
You'll leave one, yeah yeah, leave a message yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
Or you'll send a text yeah yeah yeah. Let's bring
phone calls back.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
And you've been scammed a lot because of this.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
I actually have been scammed because I placed an outgoing call.
It's the wrong number. But that's really traumatic for me,
and I don't want to talk about it. I gave
a man and Kenya a lot of money. He got
me good. That's okay, that's okay.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
Hey, it still guess it counts for charity in a way.
It just talks right up.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
I was yelling at him too whole time. He's like, bitch,
you don't know that I am stealing your money. He's like,
be mad cucumber. I am, I've got your car number,
and your money is getting fined.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
I know your mother's maiden name. Say all the shit
you want to say.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
Tell me whatever, girl, as long as this money comes through.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
One of my favorite scams. Oh, it's not my favorite.
I'm mad that it happened to me. But the biggest
scam that sticks out to me is I moved to
LA and right when I moved to LA, I had
this old Honda Cord that was like on its last leg.
I drove it from Chicago to LA. I was like,
you know, going to shows, doing open mics whatever. And
I remember i'd done the show and it was like
one o'clock in the morning and I locked my keys

(22:40):
in the car and I was like, oh shit, fuck,
Like what am I gonna do? And I didn't have
triple A or anything. I couldn't even afford that, And
so I went on the internet. I just like went
on Craigslist or whatever, you know what I mean. And
I was like, hey, Locksmith, and I knew. You know
when you feel in your heart where you were like

(23:01):
this is a scam, before this scam has even started,
you feel in your gut, this where you go this
is a scam. Yeah, yeah, so a guy. I talked
to the guy. He was like, yeah, I can come
fix it. It's super gregarious. On the phone. By the way,
a locksmith. Yeah, they're not known to have personality. That
should have been my first whatever flag. He was like, yeah,
how are you? Don't say how are you? Huge mistake

(23:21):
if you're hiring a locksmith and say how are you.
If they're checking in emotionally you're about to lose everything.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
And don't sound like they're just burdened, then that's not
a good They're.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Not breathing hard for three seconds before they say hello,
you're getting scammed.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
And so the guy shows up two cars. He has
two cars, Two groups of people come out both cars.
Who's eight people total? Eight dudes. I was like, oh man, oh.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Manuk my chain, you.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Gotta put that right back it. This is seven people
too many for this job. And they were just like
I was like, what happened to all about the Hey,
how are you?

Speaker 1 (24:05):
What happened? I thought we were from stressed. What happened?

Speaker 2 (24:08):
What happened? And on the phone he said it was
only going to be a one hundred bucks And I
was like even then that sounds a lot, but I
get it.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Did he tell you cash only?

Speaker 2 (24:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (24:15):
Oh so he knows you got cash yeah?

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah. So he gets there, he opens up the door
in almost less than a second. It literally was the
fastest thing I've ever seen in my life. Then there's
eight guys and he goes, I go, oh, yeah, so
it's like a hundred bucks, right, and he goes, it's
four hundred bucks, And I go, man, I have two

(24:39):
choices here. I have the human choice or the movie choice. Right.
The movie choice is, Hey, you can't do that to me. Hey,
how dare you? There's there's right, and there's wrong?

Speaker 1 (24:54):
Eight people? Hey, eight people.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Inside yourself who raised you? Yeah, how dare you do
this to me? You know this is wrong? And I'm
gonna I don't care if you beat me up. And
the reality was these guys are gonna kill me.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:08):
So then I was like, I don't have that much money.
And then they're like, you got to go to an
at and they this is all you know, a scammer.
A scammer knows where ATMs are. He's like, there's an
ATM two blocks from here.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Oh, so they escorted.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
You, and it was like you ever see like a
diplomat convoy. Yeah, So they did this thing where I
was driving my Honda and there's one car in front
of me and one car behind me, and they drove
me to this parking lot and then I got and
I walked up to the ATM and I took four
hundred bucks out and I handed it and they were
looming and I did this, I did this, give me everything.

(25:44):
But I did that like that was doing anything. And
I gave him the money and he was like, you're
a good man. You're your mother's favorite someone I can
tell you. But then I was thinking, like, it's eight
guys dividing four hundred dollars. This is not a good business.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
No, you should have asked for more.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
You should have asked for more. It's not even that
much money.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
It's not that much money.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
But I think it was one of those things of
like they were probably hanging out somewhere and they're like, hey, man,
I'm gonna go scam this guy real quick. You guys
want to roll through, we'll hit up David Busters after this,
you know, me will get some token money.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
I was just shocked by that, because that's really what
is that fifty bus.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
Fifty bucks a person.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
What are we doing? What do you think they do
with that fifty I.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
Don't know, get an entree, maybe a drink. That's it.
We can't all get appetizers. Really got fifty bucks? What
they're sharing they're doing family styles, say appetizer.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
They went to a family style of the restaurant, and.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
The restaurant was like, these guys are close, yeah, in
their pan cash they're paying cash. Yeah. Yeah, But I
feel like every time you move to a big city
and you have to get scammed, that's just part of
the right of pastors.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
How many times have you been towed toad once?

Speaker 2 (27:00):
I've only been toad once, and that's because like the
battery died.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Oh so you left your car park somewhere.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
And the battery died, and it's like, all right, well.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Now you gotta get to Do you have triple A now?

Speaker 2 (27:09):
Because I of course, of course, yeah, yeah, I've had
it for years.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
Okay after how soon did you get triple A?

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Pretty immediately? Okay the moment I made money, Yeah, it
was like one of the first things I'm gonna do
is get.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
Triple What else did you do with your money when
you first.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Got money, I held on to it. I'm like good
with I was like, because I grew up the way
I grew up. I was like, I'm very it's hard
to get me away from my money.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, what's something you will splur John.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
I will spend money on, Like if I'm with people,
I like, I will spend money on food.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
We should go eat after this.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
I would love to. I would love to. You have
a rooftop. You're pulling up rooftops, the most.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Expensive rooftop, my agent.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
You know what I like? I like eating at court side, Yeah,
court side.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
It's not a restaurant at MSG during the playoffs.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
During the playoffs Game seven, Court eight, I love a pretzel. Hey,
you know I love a pretzel. Okay, so you go
splurge on friends. I'll slurge on on friends, on food.
I like traveling. I don't get a ton of time
to do it, but I love like I was working
in London and I like flew my mom oute. I
had like such a fun time. It's just like because

(28:23):
she never got to go, and she's like I was
supposed to go after I got married India and I
never got to go, And I was like, come out.
I got you your favorite kid just out there, just
in the streets.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
Did you guys go eat it?

Speaker 2 (28:36):
Get an umbrella?

Speaker 1 (28:37):
And the British people were like, why are these guys
dancing dude London.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
It's like, you don't get it.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
You don't get it. Married it didn't happen, but you.

Speaker 2 (28:48):
Don't even know the backstory.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
You don't even know. So what I'm dancing. Have you
guys been to Jim Conna?

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Yes, let me come on tell him.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
Jim conn the Jim Conna. So I went to London.
I was supposed to go to London and my cousins
are British live in London. They would always come visit us.
And then finally I was like, that's crazy. I've never
been and I've like not immediate family, but family I
see regularly that they're there. So I was supposed to
go March twenty twenty. As you can imagine, I did cancel.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
And so then like two years later I went, I'm
asking people for food recommendations for some reason, not asking
my cousins, but I'm asking other people who've been to London.
And the most unlikely candidate, Michael Cha says to me,
who's pretty glib about most things. Yeah, Conna as like,
I don't fucking know. I don't like. That's probably a
bad recommendation, best meal of my life from an unlikely

(29:46):
sore likely Yes, recommended by it. I was like so good.
And now they have what is it Ambassadors Club here in.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
New York City? Yes, yes, I've been there.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
Haven't been? I would like to go interesting. Since you
splurt on friends, let's go, let's go, let's go. You've
already told the people of the podcast that you would
splurge on friends and you would splurge on me, So
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Is that gonna be the title of this episode? Blur
blurge on me, which sounds sounds bad bad, that's gonna
get clicks. It's gonna get that is gonna get clicks.
Slurge on me, and that's gonna be my spinoff podcast.
Splurge on me. I want you to splurge all over Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Ye, splurge, Yes, splurge on me, slurge in me, sirch
on me? Okay, is it weird? Okay? Yes?

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Sound off in the comments chat, let's go crazy? Are
we splurging on me? Or what.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
It is? Weird, but anyway, that's okay. So that's the
things you gonna spend on. Are you big? Like, are
you financially wise?

Speaker 2 (30:51):
I wouldn't say I'm I. I could be smarter with
it as far as like investments and things, but I
am proud of the fact that I have. I have
not blown it. I'm not like I have friends who
are like, I made it and then I lost it
all and I'm starting up again, and I'm like, I
do not have the ability. I don't think i'd have
the ability to to get out of that. I feel

(31:13):
like if I made it and lost it all, I'd
be like, I'm bad. Guys, I'm out. I'm gonna get
a regular job. On the regular job would.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
You get if you were to have to get At this.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Point, I've thought about this a lot. Okay, So have
two options. One option is so like my my family's Muslim,
I could do that move of like I can be like, hey,
you know I was in Hollywood, nasty place. Now I'm
back with God, and people would be like, I want

(31:41):
my kids to see this guy. He's an inspirational speaker.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
Oh, get that.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
Scam gone, Get that scam gone.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
The Muslim Tony Robbers, and I'll be like.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
Yeah, I worked in Marvel, but there's nothing marvelous about it.
Dark place, ready to place. Imagine me all white suit.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
I'm buying.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
Come on, I'm going to listen to him speak. Uh
huh huh.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
But is it? Then? Would the whole thing be that,
like what you need is God? That would be the
whole thing. Okay, that's option one.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Option to option two is I go to a community
college and I teach acting.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Wow, but why not a university? Why are you saying
community college?

Speaker 2 (32:19):
Because I feel like I'm not going to get I'm
not going to get my job. Will never be at
risk at a community college with my credits, I'm running
that community college.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
Yeah, you're dean all of a sudden.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
At a university, somebody could pop in yeah and be like, hey,
this man does not have a theater degree. Why is
he You can't give him tenure at a community could
be going through a rough patch and be like, hey, man,
I want to teach at this university. I'm I'm gone.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
You're gone. Okay, but community college, she's not going to
community might.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
Rename it after me. On the whole the theater the
odds le Theater for the Arts.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Oh yeah, it's a good name.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
It could be me. Okay, Hey, let's splurge. Let's splurge.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Splurge slog in the comments. Splurge in the comments section
about which one of the two options you'd like to
see us do should things not go well for you?
But I think they're gonna go well for you. Okay, okay, okay,
I'm just gonna say that because why not? Why not?

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Why not leave that?

Speaker 1 (33:14):
Doesn't I feel that like it feels.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
It feels I'm in a great place. Deli boys, Yeah,
I feel good. I feel good about it.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Come on, renewed doesn't happen for people?

Speaker 2 (33:22):
And I saw you in Chicago. In Chicago, you're doing barbershop.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
Yes, in the lobby of a hotel.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
Is there a better way to meet a famous person
than in the lobby of a fancy hotel.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Stuffing her face at midnight?

Speaker 2 (33:38):
Come on splurging. Some would say, I wist.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
I'm a big indulger. Okay, when I do go out
to eat, I am very big on We want to
try something, we should get it.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
There's gonna be a lot of plates.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Is gonna be a lot of plates, like let's let's
try it, and if we don't finish it here, someone's
gonna take it home.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
A lot of volunteer. Okay, you're a you're a box person.
You're taking boxes thinking is do you not? Me too?
I love that. It actually kind of infuriates me when
I'm with people and they go there's food on the
plates and they go, yeah, that's fine, and I go, who,
what is your life? What is your life? What kind
of what castle did you grow up in that you're

(34:14):
sending half of a full plate?

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (34:17):
The trash?

Speaker 1 (34:18):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
And you know that's pissing off the employees at the restaurant.
I know because they spend all that time making it
and they're like, oh so my art is garbage to you?
Crazy two bites in the trash.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
I do. I want to be in the kitchen one day.
I was thinking this two days ago, because I want
to know the vibes in a kitchen like we've seen
it on TV. I'd love to be in person in
a kitchen.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
Probably not as sexy, no, no, a lot of sweat,
so much sweat, but they probably they probably first of all,
right off the rip, would not want us there. They'd
be like, why did I go in the kitchen? What
is she doing? She keeps trying to get into that
big freezer.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
I get locked in it. That's a movie or is.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
There she's done technic Like, my life's a movie. I'm
watching the freezer at Jim Conna Ye.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Heaven. Actually I need to get back to Jim Kanna.
It's constantly on my mind, which is why someone says London,
I go, it's so good. Everyone's always talking about Dishome,
which is great.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
Shoe is great. I took my mom to both.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
Have you done brunch at just dishomes?

Speaker 2 (35:18):
I haven't done bunch, go to dinner. So I'm like,
let's get.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
I've heard brunch at dishume the is that girl? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (35:24):
It feels very white, and it feels like brunch at
dishume is is white. And it's like the South Asian culture,
we don't we're not having mimosas. Get that ship out
of your eye. But I'm eating with my hands and
we're getting we're getting messy, and it's dinner. And when
I and when I see people in a South Asian
place and they're not eating with their hands, I go,
you should have to pay more, and there should be

(35:49):
a fee. This is between No, they're turning this. They're
turning this bitch up. You think Zuckerberg is not in
on this. They're turning this bitch up. He's hearing everything. Yeah,
this is in the algorithm.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
This is this is you think when people go to
a south.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
You're not eating with your hands. Pay more, you need
to pay more. You think you're better than me. That's
a colonizer.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
Shit. Oh and now.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Because that's what the British thing. Britge weren't eating with.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
Their hands, they were eating with fork.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
They're eating fork a knife, fork a knife. Gets that
ship out of here, get out, Get your goddamn fingers
in there. If you can't go interesting, Jim Conna three
days later, three days later, you're not really living. When
I would go visit my family in India, the food
was so good that I remember the first time I went.
I was in like a cab and I was going

(36:35):
like this, and I was just like and I was
just like kind of smiling. I was like and then
I was like, oh my god, Like the connotation of
smelling your fingers are so disgusting in America. It's so
gross in America.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
I was about to say, because this this episode is
leading very poor and parallel.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yes, it is. It is.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
It's giving porn.

Speaker 2 (36:55):
It's giving porn.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
I'm smelling my finger.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
I don't want I don't want it to be that
do I'm not doing any said, you're Muslim, Oh come on.
But the food was so good. Have you been India?

Speaker 1 (37:06):
I haven't been to India.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
Gotta go? You love it?

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Where should I go? First?

Speaker 2 (37:10):
You should go to my family's from head the Bod,
which is a big food city. It's incredible. Brianni, best Brianni,
best chai. It's like, oh my god, the chi there
was like there was just one place called Nilafer that
we would go to and it'd be this place so
that it's opened, like it's opened like fifteen hours a day.
And when they're closing that great to close the whole

(37:30):
business down, there'd be people kind of like sneaking in,
like when the garage were closed, and people would be
doing that trying to get the child. That's how good
it was. And one time I stayed up all night
just to be like, what is really the caffeine intake
of here?

Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (37:44):
And I sit up all night and then I had
it and I was up Like my uncles would joke
that there was like opium or something, and oh wow,
and if there is, I love opium.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
They do that, Yeah, that's the name loves do they do?
They buy chance and I know, I feel I know
the answer. Sell that tie in some sort of packaging
where you can take it.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Okay, Actually no, no, no, I think later on they did,
but initially it was just like a and they're making
it in as a witch's brew cauldron in the back.
That's how you know it's good ship. If there's a
grown ass man just wearing like a tank top and
he's just drenched in sweat and there's no expression, he's

(38:28):
just you just he's just fucking moving back there and
you're like, you're like trying to take a video and
he's just looking at you like you fucking soft bitch.
I was just gonna be on your TikTok. I gave
my life to this ship. And there's buffalo milk in here.
I think the milk is different.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
The milk is different. By the way, that was really
beautiful movement. You were doing it and you think you'd
be good at the cabbage PATCHA no.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
I mean I if someone shows me how to do
a move, I will do it.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
I can pick it up, can you, dougy. I'm gonna
show you a tutorial after yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Actually yeah, and that'll be some of the bonus for
the Patreon for the Pai no no Patriot Oh no
picture substack Okay, for substant of.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
Shouting out the substack of this podcast. It does not
exist yet. Oh, but I like to say there will
be things on the substack.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
So you're like a store that hasn't opened it. You
just want to line out teasing, tease a substack. Is
that what we're doing now?

Speaker 1 (39:18):
I am We're.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Teasing a substack. You're threatening them with the substanc subsect.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
It's gonna be behind the pay well. But the little
extra tidbits we cut out of the.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
Episode, okay, and one of them will be me dougging dougging.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yeah, we are going to get that on video.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
You better.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Are you comfortable with that?

Speaker 2 (39:34):
I'll learn how to do it. Let's get it. I
feel like at one point I did know how to
do it. Yeah, whenever it was when it was a
thing ten years ago.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
I also need to ask, do you get offended annoyed,
pissed off, irritated when someone says it's chi tea.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
No, I don't think it's intentional. If it was intentional,
then I would get annoyed.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
But skinning go chi tea, yeah, I think.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
It's just I think when people get mad about it,
it's like, there's bigger problems.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
What'd your name one?

Speaker 2 (40:03):
There's just a list in text that go over my
face right now.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
Yeah, problem bigger than someone saying tea. I'll wait.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
So I would be like, hey, you know what means
it's the same word. It would be like, it's actually
just try and that's like in the language, and people
like that when I say that, Hey, if you just
say try it like that's the language, seem like you're
and then they get happy. But if you go like, hey,
you fucking asshole, stop doing that, and like I didn't
even I didn't even know. Why are you yelling about

(40:35):
something I didn't even know about.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
That's a bar, by the way, Why are you yelling
about something I didn't even know what. We fucked it up?
But they already have heard.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
It's gonna be in the substod.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
Yeah, the clear line would be in the sub we're.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
Gonna do eighty. We're gonna first people that do ad
R for a podcast. We'll come back and clean this all.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Should we should?

Speaker 2 (40:57):
If you have kids, I don't have kids.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
Do you want kids?

Speaker 2 (41:00):
I think so? Yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (41:02):
How many do you dream of? Two? Two is perfect?
How many siblings does each of your parents have?

Speaker 2 (41:11):
Seven and eight?

Speaker 1 (41:12):
Seven and eight? My mom is one of nine. Ye,
and I'm like, it was a different time, different time.
Stops shaking his head at the thought of nine children.
Your grandmother did.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Just what people did back then. That's what they do.
You became nineteen Yeah, and they go, all right, it's time.
What are we doing here, dude? How long are you
going to be a kid for? You gotta get your
own You gotta start collecting kids.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
You can't be a kid anymore. You need to get
your own.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
Kids in America are doing Pokemon. Back then, they were like, hey,
you got we got real life, you got kids.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Get married? Yeah? Are you married?

Speaker 2 (41:44):
I'm not married? No?

Speaker 1 (41:45):
No, no, And so you do want to get married?

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (41:48):
All this said was such nice. It would be nice.
You know what? Sometimes I ask people that question. No,
they go, well to the right person, and I go
to but that's implied. I mean, do you want to
get married to any rando on the street? I mean,
when I ask it, my implication implication for me is
that the person you want.

Speaker 2 (42:08):
To yeah, why are they assuming that you want them
to marry an evil person?

Speaker 1 (42:11):
I think it's a discomfort around saying yes and declaring yes,
and maybe something about that feels vulnerable to them.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Does you don't want to be vulnerable anymore?

Speaker 1 (42:19):
Yes? Are you good with vulnerability? You're good with emotion?

Speaker 2 (42:21):
Good?

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Yeah? Do you cry?

Speaker 2 (42:24):
I don't cry as much as I should.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
You need to get some tears out? Do you want
to maybe take a moment now?

Speaker 2 (42:30):
I mean we've already talked about splurging so much that
I just don't know if I can get tears to happen, right, You.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
Could cry on because I'm like, yeah, you want to practice.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
One time I worked on this thing, and I don't
know if this is this considered a name drop. I
was working I think, and the director of the show
is working on is Bryce Dallas Howard. Okay, very nice lady.
And she was on Conan. I saw this video of
her on Conan where she was like Conan was asking
her about, Hey, you can cry just like apropos of nothing.
And she's like, yeah, I learned this thing where it's

(43:00):
kind of like yawning but you can't see it. And
then that because like you know, when you yawn, your
eyes kind of water. So apparently she taught herself how
to do that as like a kid. She's really hard.
It's really hard. Like she's like, you have to be
super hydrated and you have to try yawning, okay, and
then eventually your eyes will start tearing up and and

(43:20):
and so I was like, I was talking Ron and said,
I go, hey, I saw that video of you on Conan.
Is that real? And she was like yeah, Like so
I was, you know, I was on the show, and
it's like yeah, it's like yawning and stuff like that.
And then while she was talking to me, she started
doing it, and she started crying as she was talking
to me. And I was like, I don't know whether
to be afraid of you or you know, just in

(43:42):
casual conversation being able to just like just cry. I
was like, I want that. That's a superpower.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
That is a superpower, but it is also spooky.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
It's a little key. You can imagine how much easier,
like audition stuff would be like you go in for
you go in a room or a self tape. Self
tape's hard. You're like in your kitchen and they're like,
all right, you gotta cry, and I go, I cook
here eggs.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
I can't. I'm having a good day.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Yeah, They're like, go somewhere you lost everything, let's go
oh and you just.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Go, okay, am I hydrated? And I'm going to pretend.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
It's really hard and I've never I don't think I've
ever really genuinely been able to like let it rip
on camera. Have you ever been able to do that?

Speaker 1 (44:22):
I've done it once, but it took time. I was enough.
It took me and my costarre just making extended eye
contact and I was like, you look, someone making extended
eye contact with you. And we were in a bed
and we were just and they were like, well, we'll
take the time we need and I was like okay,

(44:44):
and then I was just looking at them looking at me,
and I'm like, I'm in so much pain.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
And you're like this is so awkward that your body's like,
let's just cry so you can get out of see me.
It's so like extending Let's do it for like, Let's
do it for like ten seconds, just to see.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
That's not going to cut it. Let's set a timer.
I'm gonna do one minute of us just making eye
contact on a podcast. You look like you made this idea.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
Trevor Charger's like, this is not gonna work for them,
So let's leave me talking into talking to Trevor off.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
This is a very imperfect podcast. By the way, I
don't know if I told you that I'm setting a timer.
I'm sending a timer. We're gonna stare at each other
for sixty seconds.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
I swear to God this is this might be a break.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Okay, so hold on a timer. We're gonna do sixty seconds,
or we could do a minute or okay, hold.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
On, someone say the same thing some someway second. Would
you rather do seconds for a minute? You pick some
real that's some real salesman ship right there. I'm giving
you two options.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
We could do one or two things sixty second.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
You can either buy the car or you can just
pay for it. Yeah, it's totally up to you. I'm
not gonna caurtch your decision as yours. I'm setting our timer.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
Now, don't laugh don't laugh fuck okay, okay, don't cuss.
This is a Christian podcast. Okay.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
Hollywood is for Hollywood. Don't trust Hollywood.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Okay, okay, ready, I'm gonna do a minute and two
seconds because once I put the phone down, I'm gonna
get myself seconds to put the phone down.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
Okay, I'm all right.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
I need to get a little more water. Do you
want water that's cought?

Speaker 2 (46:15):
Th ice coffee?

Speaker 1 (46:15):
Will let me let me rip Rice said, hydrated?

Speaker 2 (46:20):
Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, get waters here. Okay, okay, m.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Oh my gosh, chug do that. Okay, you have a
big bladder, don't chick, come on, big old blader.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
Crazy alternate title chi big old bladder. Big getting on
the train with that big old batter glads so big,
walking around with that.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Big old bladd Oh. Okay, thank you somebody because you're
so we get it. Okay, okay, all right, and time okay, time.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Mm hmmm, don't we can't.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
Somebody's left and we have to start.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
Okay, Okay, it's gonna work. It's gonna work for real,
for real, for real that we're completely serious. We're completely serious.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
I'm looking into yourself.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
I'm looking into yourself. You're gonna look into you. Ok

(48:29):
you got a lot closer than I did.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
You're getting teary eyed, motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
You are too.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
Wow, it works.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
I'm taken her to a rooftop. Okay, yes this is
this club.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
Thatswer's club.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
Have a rooftop?

Speaker 1 (48:50):
I think so.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
But even if it doesn't, doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
But you gotta eat with your hand. Okay, you just
backed out. I'll let you talk all that shit. And
I'm like, but my nails, nails, I just got these.
It kind of works.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
It does kind of work.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
Imagine we didn't know a timer was going off, so
imagine that, and it was like, really, as much time
as you need. We're doing different ship over here at
thanks Dad. When have you ever listened to a podcast
an audio forward thing and they're staring at each other.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
The best part of this is someone's going to be
driving and they're gonna be like, did it my phone
turn up?

Speaker 1 (49:32):
I know every time I'm listening to a podcast, it
goes a little silent.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
I'm like, am I alone with my own thoughts for
one second? I can't have that. I need I need
there needs to be something distracting me at all times
at all times. It's a nice little reflection period for
people listening.

Speaker 1 (49:45):
Is do you pray or meditate?

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Sometimes I'll meditate.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Yeah, what does your meditation look like? Is it like
focusing on breathing? Do you use an app?

Speaker 2 (49:55):
I don't use an app? Sometimes a lot of it
for me. I think now with the internet is like
just moving stimulation. Okay, you know what I mean, and
then just being like I'll just like sit wherever you're
at or whatever. I don't do it as much as
I should, but it does work.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
I also have like this block thing on my phone.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
You have the thing the brick.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
I don't have to break it's like an app whatever.
But I can't have it on right now, which is
why I'm kind of going nuts because we're in the
middle of whatever. So I like post about the show. Yeah, so,
which is great, but I usually have it off from
like uh two am to like five pm. Social media
is off. Oh wow, so then I'm like regulated. So

(50:35):
then after five pm I can like check the internet.
But if you're checking the internet. After I read this
thing where a guy was saying somebody who studies a scientist,
I shouldn't just call him a guy, but he has
a PhD. Fucking dude. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, big
old bladder on that guy.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
You know, I feel about a big bladder.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
I've got that degree with that big old bladder. Yeah yeah.
Or make me walk over there. Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Do you mean to say we don't have to stop
on the road trip? Me yelling at anyone? I go
on a road trip, like we're not stopping. Drove all
the way from Maryland to South Carolina with my mom
and my sister, and I go, everyone needs to pee.
I'm telling these people, who are my elders, I go,
everyone needs to pee. They're like, we just did, and
I go, but that was ten minutes ago.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
Go again. This is now.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
We're gonna get in the car right after you pete
and we're not stopping. My mother, I'm telling you, I'm like,
we're not we did. I was like, this is crazy,
but I was like, we're not stopping. We're doing all
nine hours no stops.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Are you kind of like a bossy kid?

Speaker 1 (51:32):
What do you mean? What would make you think that?

Speaker 2 (51:35):
She you?

Speaker 1 (51:39):
No, you know I can be type A and so
I can be a little I can be a little controlling.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
Yeah yeah, yeah, So this guy was saying, like, if
you cut out like that in the morning, like right
when you wake up, like if you can give yourself
a couple of couple hours before you start blasting your phone.
They're like, that does like so much, that like clears
up the whole day. And when I do it, it's
like you don't You're you're not wanting to be on it. Yeah,

(52:06):
you realize it's almost just like a compulsion of like
you just wake up and you want to whatever. It's
just a thing to do. Yeah, But when you take
it out, you go like, oh, okay, yeah, what is
it clear?

Speaker 1 (52:15):
What are the things that clears up? Is it like, oh,
it improves your sleep.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
And yeah, it improves your sleep, But more so for me,
it just allows me to kind of like focus on
like things that I actually have to do because you
can rip time because it's like an endless whatever. So
I'm like, oh, I can actually do the things that
I need to do instead of just getting like distracted
by something because sometimes there is interesting stuff on there. Yeah,
it's like I can do that later. Yeah, and like
there's things that I have to do right now that

(52:39):
I'm delaying because this thing is like shiny.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
Yeah. It's so it's crazy because sometimes I will not
be on my phone just because I was like running
around all day like all low key forget to eat,
and I'll also not be on my phone. Yeah, and
at like seven pm someone will be like, this crazy
thing happened in the news today, and I'm like, wait, what,
I didn't know?

Speaker 2 (52:57):
Yeah, I haven't.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
Been on the internet and anyway, I had no idea
what was happening. And I did. I don't carve out
a like read a newspaper moment. Uh huh, I feel
do you read the news? Uh?

Speaker 2 (53:08):
Yeah, I'm actually like a little too tapped into the news.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
We got to get help you dial back.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
But it's a good thing. I like being informed. But
then like I'm pretty good at being able to like
I just want to know about things I don't really
know about. Like some of my friends are like really
into like uh like the gossip of it all of
like who's dating who and whatever whatever whatever. I like
to just know what's popping off that way. I don't
like accidentally shake hands with someone who's running ice or something,

(53:35):
you know what I mean This, guys for coming to
my show. And then people will be like that guy's whatever. Whatever.
I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible. Yeah,
and uh and it also helps with like voting for
stuff or whatever. But I like to i'd like to
know stuff.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
Do you ever worry about getting canceled?

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Yeah? But then sometimes I think like, if it's gonna happen,
it's gonna happen. But then I also think about, like
what would why really get canceled for?

Speaker 1 (54:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (54:01):
And is that something that I could recover from? And
it's like there's actual, like real monsters and they're still
on tour, so like, what what could it? What could
what could I do that I could not bounce back from? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Yeah, you know who you are? That's what.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
Okay, Yeah, there's actual monsters selling out the right, So
it's like what what what is cancel?

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Have you ever been worried about getting canceled? Yeah? Well
there was there was a period. We're done after this,
everybody in here traverse cad. I am I getting canceled?
No no, no, no no. Well here's the thing is
that I'm like, people misconstrue things all the time, and
so that I've seen that as well, and then it

(54:47):
can get you in your head of like, Okay, I
want to say things exactly right correctly, but that's just
not being human as well. So like, yeah, there's people
who's who are like malintended and don't give a fuck
can do actual.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Monster difference between that and like making a mistake and
then taking accountability, and then there's some people will make
a mistake and they're like no, no, I'm going to
I'm digging.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
Actually my whole identity.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
Yeah yeah, yeah, So I think it's just that, Yeah,
it's not something to be I'm not that worried to worry.
There's again there's real problems.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
There's what's something that's stressing you out lately?

Speaker 2 (55:22):
All of it it's not necessarily Yeah, it is stressing
me out. Actually, yeah, all that shit.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
It is a wild time, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
And you go like, why are there so many people
who like are choosing to be mean for no reason?

Speaker 1 (55:33):
So wild?

Speaker 2 (55:34):
I mean there is a reason. It's very financially.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
Money, love of money.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
But does that actually does but me out that like
if you do a job that's like helpful to society,
you get nothing in return, Like if you're a teacher
or a social worker or like you help whatever there's nothing.
But then you're like, oh, if you work for like
you know, some sort of evil, you know, if you're
a work for a weapons manufacturer, it's like I have

(55:59):
three home, I know, you know what I mean. So
like it's like incentivizing. Like I was talking to my
friend and their kid graduated college and they're talking about
how all of their friends there's a brain drain from
like these kids want to do jobs that are like
good for humanity, but they also have these insane loans
because college is not free in the richest country in

(56:22):
the world. So then they are like that's how all
these like terrible companies get all these kids, because they go, hey,
you can pay off your loans in like two years.
But then those kids are like depressed because then they're
like we're working. Yeah, they're just like soul crushing.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah, and you feel it. You've got to feel it,
you gotta feel it at I And then yeah, how
they process that?

Speaker 2 (56:43):
Yeah, what would you do if you weren't doing this,
if you weren't absolutely dominating the substack space, absolutely terrorizing
the substack community callstack I'm known?

Speaker 1 (56:57):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (56:57):
Is that the move on there? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
Wasn't doing this. I think that i'd be like a headhunter,
but like like help people find jobs. I love helping
people find what they're looking for. I always have. I
think it's so fun, Like I love to be like,
let me crack the case, like if my brother was
like ten years ago, twelve years ago. Like I'm just
trying to find this pair of pants that I like.
It's not that it's a brand, but it's a style.
I'm like you said that in passing, but I'm on it. Wow.

(57:25):
And I used to help people find jobs. I used
to like friends my day job when they wanted to
leave our day job. Sorry, y'all. I help some people exit.
But it was like, hey, I saw this posting for
a job for you, and they're like you're sweet, thank you,
But it's really just I don't. I love helping people
find what they're looking for.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
So nice, maybe good at it?

Speaker 1 (57:40):
Thank you?

Speaker 2 (57:41):
Business suit.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
Can imagine me in a pants suit.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
Oh, up to a coffee shop opening and be like,
where's an outlet?

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Yeah? I like I need it right now? What's the
Wi Fi password? No?

Speaker 2 (57:50):
No, I'm not buying it. And you're not even using
a map book. You're using one of those Lenovo think pads.
That's what those real business people are using. Consultants.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
And I don't have an office for some pa it's.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
Not because you're like, the world is my office.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
I need to be with the people.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Yeah, you're opening your laptop on a hood of someone
else's car. Yeah, I gotta send this email. Your phone's
a hotspot.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
Oh my god, imagine me and this. I think it's
best I do this for a little bit.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
More sweating on the train. Your sunglasses are lopsided, and
I can getting work done.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
I love how you. Every working person is sweating, no
matter what, working in a kitchen.

Speaker 2 (58:29):
If you're not sweating, you're not working. I've done stand
up shows where I'm sweating. Yeah, I'm like, man, this
is tough.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
Okay, yeah, okay, it's time for a segment. It's called
that's nice, But what about me? Yeah? I think it's tough.
It's been so wonderful to learn about you. But it's like,
when is this gonna turn into some shit about me?
Because when I go on stage and I'm sweating, I'm like,
and I'm doing improv and I'm sweating, I'm like, I
gotta wear dark colors like, yeah, because it can't be

(58:59):
color even white white. White's wild, it's gonna get messy,
but like it's gotta be black. I think, what are
you doing?

Speaker 2 (59:07):
If I'm usually doing, I'm not like a big sweater,
but okay, you a big chunky sweater. Not a big
chunky sweater. Another alternate title, see you with that big chunky.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
Sweater cable knit cash mere.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
Boat trip. But I'm like, I move around a lot.
So if I'm doing like an hour moving around and
it's like a proper or whatever where they're blasting you
with a light, I like to wear like this kind
of thing. I like to wear like a shirt with
like a nice little jacket. I like to make them
feel like, Okay, this guy didn't just walk off the street.

(59:50):
Yeah he thought about it. Yeah he's valuing sure our
money because a lot of times when I'm performing, it's
someone else's date night. You don't want to be on
a date looking at a guy and you know what
I mean, looking with pit stains. Yeah, that's me crazy,
got cheese on your shirt and like, what are we
doing here? That's come on, we paid to come see you. Yes,
look like you just went to quiz No's I.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Do hate to see that. I'm like, come on, but
what are you doing on the How do you take
care of your body? Though? Like you said, you move
around a lot. I stretch, but like physical therapy massages
are you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
I haven't sustained any huge injuries to the point where
I'm like, hey man, you gotta be in pt constantly.
But I am brag, but I am flex. Okay, I
just fall down the stairs after this. But I I stretch,
I try to, I try to stay loose, and I

(01:00:45):
thankfully I have not had no injuries, no injuries. Yeah,
you move around a lot too.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
I do move around a lot, but I've hurt myself
a lot as well. My achilles is currently fucked up.
And Kevin Durant, me and Kevin and Dante Divin but
he ruptured his and so yeah, and so I don't
So I'm not that deep yet. No, I don't want
to be that. I don't want to be that deep.
But I injure myself. But I just I just feel it.

(01:01:14):
I just vibe because I.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
Saw pictures of your show at the Netflix Festival and
I was like.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Okay, those where are did it come on? A link?

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
There's some wild ass photos of you. Let's just say
there's one of you in a full squat where I
was like.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
It was full squat and I'm wearing spanks and you
see them and you can see the cheeks and the kuchie.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Let me just tell you something. China was not your friend.
You saw my vagina and I was like, yeah, book me,
I'll do the podcast. Because I took my phone and
I signed the screen. We did doc you sign on
the screen, asked, We.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
Asked the the your team if you could do the podcast.
We were in limbo for a while. Then after my
Netflix show where apparently my vagina is on the internet somewhere.
Mm hmm, you said, yes, it makes sense. Well, it's
the power of a.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
Couch, power of a coach. Another title, that's the substec and.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
That's and that's get it. Something good on the bed.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Merch is just making itself at this.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
I want to play a game with you before yes, yes, yes, yes, okay.
It's called thanks no thanks. I'm gonna name a bunch
of gifts simply five. This is rapid fire. You're gonna
say thanks are no thanks? Yeah? Because you just said
some of my vagina my podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:02:34):
Say anything about it. I just said you looked great
and you were moving around and my vagina.

Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
Look, I haven't clicked the.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Like what listen if ted Sorrando's is personally clearing all
these things and.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
He goes, that's a good pussy you got.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
You gotta put her up there.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
That's a gorgeous.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
You see.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
The thing is the no they said I was and
they said I was dead.

Speaker 1 (01:03:00):
There were no phones allowed in that show. You see
they had a full blown photographer with a res Yeah.
But I'm like, the reason I squatted like that was
because there were no phones. Not the motherfucker with the
I will be sending an email, a care and esque email.
After this, I started to draft it right now to
be like, now, now come on, now, y'all common sense.

(01:03:21):
It was a private show. If I neither care, it
was a private show. You have tickets, your phone was
locked in a pouch. But this man with a professional
camera they came in like this and why and you
don't even know what the joke was. But then the.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Photographer was like, right when you squatted, You're like, yeah,
I get get And this is the this is the
first pick on the carousel.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
Yeah anyway, thanks that photographer. You were on my ship list.
I'm gonna find out your name and I'm shouting you
out on the podcast because that's gonna go ahead and
be insane. Okay, thanks, No, thanks, A cute girdle that
you have to take care of for thirty years.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
Ah thanks?

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
Oh yeah because dad's burden animal deodorant.

Speaker 2 (01:04:08):
Yeah of course, yes, so yeah, thanks absolutely, thanks absolutely,
yeah thinks absolutely a.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
Really nice lawnmower with a seat and all the all
the workings and buying it. It's a gift to These
are gifts.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
I don't have a yard. I live in an apartment,
but uh.

Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
It's a really nice lawnmower. Might be worth something.

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Thanks. I'll take it on Facebook Marketplace, and then we're
going out to dinner and then.

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
We're going to h Yes, and all expenses paid trip
to Caesar's Palace for one week, multiple shows and dinners included.
But your friends it can't come.

Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
Uh sure? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
Thanks, thanks, that's crazy. I fucking hate I'll go, but
you don't have to know. You're so chill, you don't
have to. You would spend a week in Vegas by yourself. Wow,
you really are touring comedian.

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
We'll find find chill things to do.

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
A good A good man. You are a gift certificate
to go skydiving at a place that has a four
point one out of five.

Speaker 2 (01:05:06):
Absolutely not anything less than five stars. My life's on
the lineup for not even if there's a dude trapped
to me, this is a c student. I'm not doing that.
I'm not doing it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
And even the rating change, you're still not doing it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
If it was a five out of five and there's
not one when you click through the ratings, there cannot
be one rating that's under five. I need all survivors.
I can't even I don't even want a moment where
the guy goes, oh, I think it's it's actually on
this side. I don't want that, even that it's over
for me. I can't have that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
We're doing. Okay, well, more segment with you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
All right.

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
We did call this segment Passenger Princess take the Wheel.
I want to workshop the name for this segment. Thank you. Next. Okay, So,
our last guest, Michelle Buteaux, asked you a question, love Michelle,
as do I period. Michelle's question for you is who
was your favorite teacher? And why.

Speaker 2 (01:06:03):
My favorite teacher. Man, I had a lot. I had
a lot of cool teachers. I had a teacher, uh,
mister Fields when I was in high school and I
took this one, uh theater class, just one and he,
you know, he would ask me, like, we do these
journals and he'd be like, try to find out what

(01:06:23):
everybody wanted to do. And at the time, I really
wanted to do stand up and so I would write
about it and stuff. And then he took me to
the side one day and he was like, hey, just
between us, if you do, like, if you write like
five minutes to stand up and you perform it for
the class every Monday, you don't have to do any homework. Oh,

(01:06:47):
I'll just let I'll just let it, let it ride.

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
And I go, oh, my god, that's amazing because you
can tell I actually care, like I would watch specials
and I would like vote them or whatever and uh.
And so I did do that, and it was some
of the worst stand up of all time, but sure,
but it was like what a great way to like
learn the mechanics in like a fun place and to
have someone be like, hey, I see that you like

(01:07:12):
doing this thing. Do it you should do it, and
uh and I really like and then through that I
started doing open mics and blah blah blah and uh
so that was like really fun and I'm really glad
that and I still talk to him and stuff, and
uh yeah, it was a really encouraging, nice moment in
my life. That kind of sometimes you know, get a
little nudge.

Speaker 1 (01:07:29):
Yeah, that's great, that's very special. Shout out to mister Fields. Yeah,
mister Fields. Wow, okay, that's dope. I say, thank you
so much for being here today. I appreciate you. I
have an angry email to go send.

Speaker 2 (01:07:41):
Hey, you gotta send it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
Hey, I gotta get my my what is my my my.

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
Briefcase lenovo think bad.

Speaker 1 (01:07:51):
Yeah, before I start finding people jobs, I have an
angry email to send. Thank you so much. I appreciate
you being here, Thanks for having me. Bye. That was
my conversation with asaf Ali. Pretty damn fun, pretty damn inappropriate.

(01:08:11):
I have to still. You know, he's maybe gonna teach
himself how to dougy offline out of studio and post
that online. But we did do a dougie tutorial. It
was not successful, but that's okay. That's Okay. I love
that he was game. I hope you enjoyed the conversation
and I'll catch you on the next one. Thanks Dad,
is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and

(01:08:33):
iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Aego wodem Our producer is
Kevin Bartelt and our executive producer is Matt Appadaka