Atsuko Okatsuka

This week on Thanks Dad, Ego sat down with fellow comedian, Atsuko Okatsuka! The two comedians chat about their favorite witchy tonics, being the youngest/favorite child, and how Big Water has fooled us all. Atsuko shares a story about their mutual friend & the similarities between Japanese & Nigerian names. Finally, Ego & Atsuko give advice to a lucky listener on how to disagree with your partner without ruining the relationship.

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Is it time for another episode? That's fine, Matt. I
want your voice in this. I want the people. I
want people to know there's other people here, people are here.
It's happening. We're alive. What a time to be alive.
What I love about that phrase is you can say
it at any given moment and it means everything and
nothing all at once. Right, right, guys, talk, It's fine,

(00:36):
it's fine, speak up, use your voices. What's that? It
could be good or could be bad, Matt says, and
he's not wrong, could be neutral. That's not what I'm
here to talk to you about today. I haven't done
one of these in a little minute because I thought
we were tiring of me. But one person asked.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
And so and so here I am one human missed
these close to the mic.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
I feel like I'm gonna eat it. It's fine, keep
this in, guys, it's the podcast. These things aren't perfect.
I'm here for imperfections. Remember this is an allergy sponsored podcast.
I have allergies. I will be clearing my throat. The
weather is tweak. It it's snowing to New York. It's
freaking study in LA. What's happening? Who gave me a
podcast where I am okay, this is okay. You know what?

(01:25):
No one ever asks me? This is what I've been
thinking about. No one ever asked me on this podcast
who are? What do I want to say? Thanks to?
And that's messed up, even though they are the guest
and I'm the one meant to be asking questions. No
one ever says to me, Hey go, who are? What
do you want to say? Thanks to? You could be funny,
could be earnest. Well, guess what I want to ask

(01:45):
myself that, Hey ago, who are? What do you want
to say? Thanks to? I'm so glad you asked. No
one ever asked me that. God damn, I want to
say I want to If you guys cut your voices
out or whatever, I would seem absolutely unwell, and I
potentially am unwell. But aren't we all anyway? Thank you?

(02:06):
What a brilliant, wonderful question. Did I get the sides
wrong here? At whatever point is who or what do
I want to say thanks to? I want to say
thanks to Micah Rucci, my former assistant. I met him
as a page at NBC and he's just so fantastic
and he helped me launch this second season of the podcast.
I adore him. He's so cool. I appreciate all the

(02:27):
help he's given me in terms of this podcast and
making the second season what it is, and so I
want to give him a special shout out and say
thanks to Micah. I don't know if I should be
saying people's last names, but I've been watching reality TV
lately because I'm trying to turn my brain off, and
they're saying people's last names on reality TV. And I

(02:48):
feel like there was a time and a place I
don't know could be wrong where we weren't saying people's
last names on reality TV to maintain some guys of anonymity.
But maybe in the age of social media, I don't know,
we're saying last names. So I said the last name
and it's out there in the world and hopefully that's
okay and everyone stays safe. I truly I've been like,

(03:10):
are we allowed to say last names? Watching the I'm
watching reality TV to turn my brain off, and the
whole time, I'm like, they're saying their last names. Are
they allowed to say their last names? That feels unsafe Anyway,
Apparently the first and last names are in these days,
and so I shared both of those, and I'm just
saying thanks and guys Reality TV, thank you for it.

(03:32):
I want to say thanks to whoever came up with
that idea. Whoever who was the first person that said,
I know, let's just follow people in their lives, pretend
it's real, give them a little drama, give them beats
to hit. I don't know whoever came up with it.
I want to say thanks to you. You're helping me
turn my brain completely off. I'm saying it's brain rot.

(03:55):
That's what I've been saying. It's brain rot. But maybe
that's not. I don't know, but anyway, I'm enjoying that.
So thanks to that guy, gal person whatever. Anyway, I'm
about to have a very exciting conversation. I'm excited for
it because I've never met this person and I'm going
to meet them for the first time here. I've seen

(04:15):
them around in the wild, I've seen them on the internet,
and I'm so excited. So please stick around, keep listening.
For the one person who asked for me to talk
at the top of these podcasts, this was for you, baby,
This was pretty and literally no one else. All right,

(04:37):
My next guess is gonna be what do you know
why they gave me a podcast.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Because that I was like, use the paper if you
need or I could.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
No, you're not introing. Your guess is no, you're not
introing yourself. I rebuke it. Okay, I use biblical language.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Hi, I'm here with ego. No you're not, and this
is thanks. Absolutely No, it's not.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
It's okay. My next guest is a comedian you know
and love. Her latest special, Father is out now.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
It's it's It is a pleasure to be here with
you today, starting over.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
We're deleting all of this.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Boy, this is good. This is good energy you want
in this climate. I have to properly in this, in
this climb, we're matching that. We're just matching the energy
of the society. And we don't have to get intros. Correct.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
I want to go all right, let's do it.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
We got this, all right. My next guest you know
and love.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
From her comedy. Her latest special is out now Father,
not Dad, but Father, not thanks Father.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
But just Father. It's just Father on whou on Hulu and.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
And Disney Plus. Available for viewing now. It's Osco.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Thank you so much, Echo, Yes, thank you, thank you
Me getting collapsed for doing an intro.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, honestly, the bar is in the basement and I'm
here for it. That's fine. We can only go up
from here.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
That's what I was saying, is like, who cares about
a neat clean intro? Neat clean?

Speaker 1 (06:24):
You know what I mean? This podcast is a mess.
Just to be very clear, like, this podcast is a mess.
I you can clear your throat. We're not gonna cut
it out.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
A mess.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
Oh yeah, just raw raw. We this podcast are getting unfiltered.
We're not cleaning it up. It's it is what it is.
I want people to know. Humans are imperfect. Productions are imperfect.
People have to clear their throats. Do you suffer from allergies?
This is an allergy forward podcasts?

Speaker 2 (06:50):
I I I bet I do, because I have this
dry spot on my leg that I cannot get and it.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
Must be Oh that is giving X amount?

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Is that all that?

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Can I take a look?

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Of course, do you have like a degree, a background
and something. I don't know, a biology degree, but it
means I didn't okay, I didn't shave. Okay. There's also
bruises going on. That's from other stone.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
Wait, what are your bruises from wait, because I have
bruises all over my legs as well.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
Okay, I know.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
One of them I just saw two days ago. I
have no idea how it got there. But then there's
a gash in my shin from I walked into my
marble coffee table in the dark full speed.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Now, is this your l a place?

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Don't do me no, because here's the thing.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
When you're by coastal, I have go here's the thing, okay,
I have when you're by coastal.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
When you're by coastal, they're like, am I my New
York house?

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Am I my oh my coffee table? Doesn't protrude like
that in my other space? You get confused your own way.
You're right, I'm trying to Okay, you're trying.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
It was in my New York.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
By postal, people are dizzy all the time. Let me
look at this bitch. She had to do the intro
four times. Give her a break.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
I have a dizzey bitch. I call people dizzey bitches
all the time, by the way, and here I am projecting. No,
I was projecting the whole time because you're like, that
does pitch bitch?

Speaker 2 (08:16):
It's because you relate and I'm I'm my bass is
kind of dizzy all the time. Guess what, Yeah, not
by coastal.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
So what's your excuse? What's your excuse?

Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't know from I don't know this weird?

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Okay, So when did you're gonna diagnose it? Tell me more,
tell me.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
More, nose? I drink every night. I don't know. It
could be all those things. It could be many reasons
why I'm dizzy. I have gashes.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
You drink every night? Yes, no judgment, not very judgment.
You I drink every night?

Speaker 2 (08:47):
You probably you don't. Yeah, how can you tell? Because
you said you drink every night and your eyes got
really wide and you did said you did catch yourself
and you go, oh, not trying to sound judgment.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
I'm not trying to sound judgement. I absolutely look it,
but I'm trying to keep my voice neutral.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
I need this.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
I wait, So I have so much, we have so
much uncover.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Uh huh yeah, okay, not till blackout. I'm not, you know,
not remembering every night. I'm not not remembering on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
You know what what's today today is?

Speaker 2 (09:19):
I actually don't know. Actually that is a good question.
Do you know why because I just did my show
in Vegas. Okay today it was a Sunday. That throws
me off. That's why I came back on a Monday.
Who comes back from Vegas on a Monday? What day
do you think is normal to come back from Vegas?
I feel like Sunday.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
You would want to come back Sunday?

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Okay, when everyone's in church, so no one sees you
coming back. Everyone coming back all still kind of messed up.
And while from the night before, Okay.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
Do you do you perform drunk? Sometimes?

Speaker 2 (09:51):
No, No, I don't do that. I do wait, I
wait till after.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
I like to like celebrate, like, Okay, I just did
an hour sometimes I most times I do two shows
a night with and I was doing two meet and
greets too in between, so I was talking for four hours, baby,
So like a little tequila afterwards.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Okay. Tequila is your your beverage of choice? Yeah, happy, happy,
That's what they're all suppressants. But I'm convinced tequila is
an upper because someone said it was to me once,
and so I go with that. So tequila is mine.
I don't think my stomach likes tequila anymore, so I'm
moving over to gin. I was whiskey. Yeah, and then
I realized that's maybe not good for me and I

(10:30):
have a because I have a gluten sensitivity. I don't
want to talk about it because it's embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
Oh no, I know that my husband has celiac, so
he does. We're very very no gluten in the house.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, so like so then it was whiskey, then moved
to move to tequila. And then I'm like, my stomach
doesn't seem to like tequila. And now so we're on gin,
but tequila, how many are we doing a night? Look
at me trying to die?

Speaker 2 (10:51):
You are a doctor because you looked at me. By
the way you looked at my leg. You didn't you
didn't have like a thought.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
I want to come because you.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Look at it. I was like, oh, I'm going to
get maybe some insights, yes that I didn't have so itches.
You're kind of dressed like a doctor.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
I am, this is a white coat, yes.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
And then and then you you said nothing, So what
did you did you?

Speaker 1 (11:11):
That's very doctor like where they'll be like, okay, we'll
take a look.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
We're just like freaking out and we get sent home. Yeah, okay, wait, okay,
nothing on my leg.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
No, we can. I want to come back to the leg.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yes, we'll come back. We'll read first tequila tequila? How
long have I been drinking? Is also because you just
hear one time that it's like the happier drink. Yes,
you know it's low in calories because I do silver
tequila right and like clear kinds. Yes, so not reps,
no calories and I'll do reprisato too if that's what's available. Okay,

(11:45):
Gin is what I drink. Gin is what I drink
when I'm in Asia because they don't have a ton
of tequila yet. Okay, so for some reason, they're huge
on whiskey and gin when I'm back in Asia. Okay,
so that's like my you know, I'm pretending I'm drinking tequila. Yeah,
you're okay, you just but you're committed to the tequila.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
I love this in a way. But you're even because
when you're drinking gin, you're like, oh, I'm drinking tequila
right now. How many are we? How many are we doing?
How many can you handle? Well?

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Happy tequila?

Speaker 1 (12:11):
Mescal?

Speaker 2 (12:11):
So happy?

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Oh you like mescal?

Speaker 2 (12:13):
About it? What you know? When people write sad poems. Yeah,
the poets that we know who wrote about drinking a
lot and sleeping with women or whatever. They were all
on whiskey.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
Who were Who was that?

Speaker 2 (12:27):
I forget his name?

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Not Edward.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
You guys know there's three men behind you in front
of us, right now.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Behind you. Surprise.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
I'm like, hold on, dizzy, I'm dizzy.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
In front of us. Okay, so you want you know
to google?

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Isn't there like you know Chowles Brukowski.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
I don't know him.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Here's the thing I dated.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Not what don't shame don't shame me. Don't shame me
on my own podcast. I'm supposed to look like a
I got on a doctor's coat.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yes, no, you don't need to know. Bukowski is like,
it's like I only know because I dated like emo
men in the past who I pretended their interests were mine.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
Oh, yes, you assume their personality a little bit, right, Like.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yes, I love this long movie French new Wave Truefau
or whatever you know, and I do. I do. That's
the only reason why I know. But I think he
wrote anyway a lot of poetry Jack Jack Carrouak or something.
Then he drink whiskey.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
You guys all know these people. I don't know any
of these people. I mean, I've heard of Edgar, Allen Poe,
Robert Frost.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
I bet they were on whiskey, you think, so okay.
I don't know their drinking habits, but rarely do people
go I drunk texted my ex on tequila. I think, yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Busy dancing, You're like for you're thinking for it. You're like,
I'm here for.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yes, yes, yeah. When you talk like that, we we
have to pay.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
We have to pay if you sing this. If you sing, we.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
Have to pay. The way I sing, no one will
know what that song was supposed to be trust me. Okay, wait,
what ever for my singing? Okay? Trust or is suing
anyone for my singing?

Speaker 1 (14:18):
They're like, yeah, listen, I think you have a beautiful voice.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
Okay, oh thank you.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
I have to ask. I have to ask before we
go too deep, even though we've already gone and I've
already we're not going back. I'm gonna speed bump us
and say, who or what do you want to say
thanks to? This is like a commercial break, So yes,
we're gonna pose to give things. Who or what do
you want to say? Thanks to?

Speaker 2 (14:43):
I thought about this. I want to say thank you
to the United States for introducing me to ranch dressing.
Ranch ranch dressing.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
So do you know you want to thank the US
and not ranch itself.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Ranch dressing itself too, but it is a US made.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Dressing, it is I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
I didn't know that either, because you know, in Japan,
I had no ranch dressing where I grew up. Okay,
ranch could kill a small Japanese person? Is that that
much dairy most of us are?

Speaker 1 (15:16):
Are you lactose tolerant?

Speaker 2 (15:18):
I am not. I'm not. I mean that's why I'm
able to have all that ranch. I don't know if
I don't know which came first, but I can assume.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
I can tell you. This is where my biology degree
comes in handy. I retained like three things from college
from learning biology. Lactose tolerance is the mutation in humanity.
Lactose intolerance is what we all were originally. So if
you are lactose tolerant, that is a function of a

(15:47):
genetic mutation that happened over the course of time, and
so yeah, you are a mutan.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
I could be more and more accurate because they're Japanese, right.

Speaker 1 (15:59):
I don't see. I wasn't going there. Oh no, no, no,
I it's not how I mentioned. I actually not me
being like, you're this cartoon because it's your.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
And that's not what I was trying to say you
were doing. But also tragically, I just realized I've been
talking to that camera, spiking it for my lines. I
have one right here, this whole time, this whole time,
camera right there. No one told me because we don't.
We let next yours.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
We go with the flow that's mine.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Technically, I want to thank the United States for ranch dressing,
because before I moved to America, I have to cut
this out.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
I didn't know what ranch was while I was living
in Japan.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, like I said, And now do you put it
on everything?

Speaker 2 (16:44):
I can't? I do, Okay, I do if they allow it.
So a lot of restaurants don't have it too. You know,
when you go out with your fancy friends, like ego.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Why I fancy? It's because I'm a doctor.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
She is a doctor. Can you tell gin like a
you know, like a I don't know, like a woman
who came from money in a penthouse at the top
of New York City High rise.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Walking full speed into her coffee tables in the dark,
because it's what yes.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Guess what, yes, time is money. That's why full speed,
full speed? You think when if you pause, you ever
see a person with no.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
Bruises, I haven't a baby.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
It's because you want to hang out with hustlers. Yes,
you only hang out with people who are also like money, money, money.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Money, money, money, gotta get money. Well, what happened I
have to tell you is that the lights were off
in my apartment because I was about to go to
bed and I had to get something from the living room,
and I like to walk around in the dark, which
is strange you do. I do this sometimes. I'm like,
I don't need to turn on a light.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Do you like coming up on people scaring them?

Speaker 3 (17:53):
No?

Speaker 1 (17:54):
No, no, I don't want And I don't want you
to come up on me, Like I don't know, I
don't want. You said there are three men behind me.
I'm like, hold on, I know, imagine, but I just
don't like turning the lights on unnecessarily. But it's not
about like conservative energy. I just am like, oh, that's
just like one more thing, okay, But I know I
sound crazy right now, So back to you.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
No, No, I like, I like, I let's talk about it. Wait,
we're still on ranch dressing. Okay, let's but also, yes,
I'm very bright light forward. Oh yeah right, lights. Darkness
scares me, that's fair.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
I don't like when you know, people have mood lighting
in their homes. Do you know what I'm talking about.
It's like a moody, Like the lights are dimm in
people's houses. I don't like the lights on. Are the
lights off? That's my thing.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
I like restaurants, yes, that are like, you know, let's
go for Valentine's Day or something. Right, it's a dimly
lit restaurant where every couple is struggling to cut their steak.
And yeah, there's sixty of them because they put them
all together in the reservation. Yeah. Everyone's like, those are

(19:00):
those restaurants.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
Don't serve ranch? I'm assuming no, yes, so it's.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Only if they have it. Then I'm like, yeah, then
I asked for it. And then that's where I discovered,
you know, through friends too, you know, through my first
US friends. I was like watching them dip dip pizza, right,
fried chicken, lettuce, call it a salad.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
Yeah, that is true. That is true, you.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Know to like you know, carrots, to gosh anything burgers. Right,
it's true.

Speaker 1 (19:31):
What do you remember the first time you had ranch?

Speaker 2 (19:34):
I do because I yeah, explosive diarrhea. Like the whole
body rejected it. It was so confused.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Yes, yes, all that dairy. Yes, so then you just
got stronger, is what happens, because now you're like, it's
solid poops.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yes, I've mutated. You've mutated to yes, yes, my fellow Japanese.
Are they Japanese? Actually never seen the movie York show.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
There was a show, and and there was a movie.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
I swear, isn't the rat like sense or something?

Speaker 1 (20:08):
The rats sense?

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Oh see, we asked the three men in front of us,
three men in front of us, this is their culture.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yes, the turtles from New York.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
So how did the rat get from? So the rat
is from Japan. He like flew in from Japan to
train them. He fled Japan.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
He killed his original master. I don't know anything about
this is also all this is all made up his Japanese.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
It's it's not it's.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
It's I don't see. This is all news to me.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
And someone killed a rat killed his master in Japan
and had to flee ended up in New York, which
is no easy feet you know, you know that is
he could have chosen a closer place to run away,
He said, know how about a sixteen hour flight.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
I don't funk with rats. So I'm like, I just
want to tell you just in every which way, I
don't even the proverbial sense, in the in the literal sense.
I live in Europe. I don't funk with rats. I
don't care if you're a sense they. I don't care
where you came.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
From, or that you're an immigrant and you're needing to
you're needing to find a new home. Right, you don't
say right, don't say you know, as an immigrant from Japan,
I I kind of relate to the RM, starting to
relate to his story. I didn't kill anybody, you did it?

Speaker 1 (21:30):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (21:31):
And then anyway, wait, stories are a wild stories. And
then the turtles.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
I don't about these turtles about you, that's right.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
So I'm I'm mutated into to being able to eat
that much dairy, okay. And when I go back to Japan,
you know, I'm off ranch dressing because it's like weed.
When there's no weed there, there's no ranch there's no weed.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
If someone damn, that's I mean, that's amazing.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
No, they need to have weed.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
I mean I don'k. Have you been to I haven't
been to Tokyo, but I really want to go. I
really want to go to Japan. It's on my list
of I have like three places that are like I'm
trying to get there.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yes, yeah, we will get you there.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Can you help me?

Speaker 2 (22:18):
I will happily tell you about all the places me
and Bowen have been there at the same time. And
you know, oh.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, because he's been twice, yes, and twice recently.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
It is a place with you know, like these bright
lights and insane shows and all kinds of things going
on that would really benefit from weed. Okay, I think
to look around sober, like, do.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
You think maybe how do you think mushrooms would fare
in Japan? Have you ever had mushrooms there? No, like
in general?

Speaker 2 (22:49):
Have you ever? Oh? I actually never?

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Okay, Yeah, they say that that's like, oh it heightens.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Have you been do you? Are you a mushroom girl?

Speaker 1 (22:56):
I've had mushrooms. It is like at Coachella one time
and I was like, oh, whoa, this is it. But
also I've only I've been to Coachella twice. It's not
my vibe nor I scene.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
I know I'm picturing you at Coachella and it's not
You're having.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
A hard time. Are you hot? Yes? Very?

Speaker 2 (23:15):
Very little water. I hear it's hard to get water.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
The first thing I said to I said today, said
can we get some waters for me and my kids? Yes?
Very Can you imagine? Yeahs Coachella is as a beautiful
fairy you like.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Wearing jean shorts and like, you know, wear they're wearing
feathered ear rings.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
No feathered earrings. The Geene shorts I did have. Did
you see me?

Speaker 2 (23:38):
There?

Speaker 1 (23:38):
You saw me?

Speaker 2 (23:40):
That's what I see when I think Coachella. I've never been. Okay,
I'm rarely out during the day. Yeah, of the sun. Okay,
I don't.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Are you you're you don't? Are you sensitive to sun?

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Well? You know I'm so a stand up at night
that you know. I I During the day, I'm mostly
like indoors. I'll be writing it doors or something like writing.
But yeah, you'll rarely see me, like hiking or something.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Do you have siblings.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
I have half siblings.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yeah. Are they just kind of reconnected? Okay?

Speaker 1 (24:22):
Are they half from your mom's side or your dad's side,
or both.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
My dad's side from your dad's side.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, So then are you Where do you fall in
the lineup in terms of the siblings.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
I'm the youngest, me too, yeah yeah, yes, all right,
and the favorite okay okay, yes, yeah, I think.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
All the youngest become a favorite, energy youngest, but the
youngest is always the favorite.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
We also become favorites when we're the ones making the
most money. Easy way to become the favorite? Were you
always the family? All my half siblings were like, hey,
remember I used to walk you to preschool? Yeah, and
I'm like, actually, you left me a few times. It's
on this American Life and Interview. I did, really, lu Yes,

(25:05):
I have a documented you go.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Yeah yeah, okay, wait youngest of how many?

Speaker 2 (25:12):
By the way of of three? You had to really
think about you forgot about one? Because here's what did
you forget about? I just met one of them last
year for the first time. Okay, yeah, yeah, so I
forget about him? Yes, Okay, that's not nice. You know what,
It's just been all my life and we never met.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
How how is it are do they all the other
three siblings do they have the same dad. It's yeah,
you have the same thing, not the same dad. I
mean the same mom is what I've meant to say.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
Oh, that's true. They do have the same mom, so
they're from one same marriage. And then I'm the you know,
the weirdo.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Wait, why are you the weirdo? Not just because you're you?

Speaker 2 (25:54):
Is there also a diagnosis?

Speaker 1 (25:58):
Yes, don't you see my wife? Imagine you had a
doctor come in casually like this, I know, with their
shirt and button like this, like what's that? What's going on?

Speaker 2 (26:06):
And you're so trusting. I would be like, yes, give
me somebody, give me whatever you're gonna sell me.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
Okay, this is something for me to think about between
now and then the podcast.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
Well, because we're gonna go back to the strooms that
you did. You know, I want to try the I
want to try shrooms. Yeah. I think I'm just so
a classic, just like I drink and I used to
smoke cigarettes and now I smoke weed. So you know
those are kind of like again I'm I'm thinking there's
men behind us when they're in front of them. Okay,
so you know, I don't know if I would come back.

Speaker 1 (26:37):
Okay, that's always been my fear of basically any drug.
I'm always like, I feel like I wouldn't come back.
There's such like there's a chance you don't come back.
If you're already on look, there's a chance you don't
come back.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
I know.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
How's this for. Were you in the States when they're
the DARE program was a thing? Yes, yes, yes, I
feel like this is the real campaign. You might not
come back if you do drugs. Yeah, they didn't talk
about that. Yeah. I'm like all the and it's crazy
how DARE is defunct now whatever and everyone's like whatever,
try everything, do whatever, take care of yourself, therapy, yeah,

(27:11):
all of that, microdose whatever. But I'm like, if you
told me, I mean, I didn't try drugs at all.
Is a young person in any way, shape or form.
But if you told me, hey, kids, you might not
come back, I would be like, I don't want that.
I don't want that at all.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
I know, And that's kind of what happened. Like this
is kind of it's okay, I'm okay. But so my
mom has schizophrenia and she had this wild talk. I
love that preface.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
You're like, before I tell you what I'm going to
tell you, I'm okay, I.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
Like to take care of the people I'm talking to
the audience, you know sometimes, you know, if I don't
want to sit in the darkness. But my mom has schizophrenia,
and she actually was like told me, she said, you know,
you can go do mushrooms or acid or whatever drugs
that people like do and hall from you can have fun,

(28:02):
but just know you get to come back from that high.
I don't. And I was like, okay, Like that was
so you know, very like a big life changing, like
very you know, real way to look at drugs, you
know where I mean, the their officer, the their officer

(28:25):
was just like singing songs, you know, you're living free
t shirts. It was my mom that I was like, oh, okay, okay,
I won't mess with it. Then, you know, yeah, it
was like a real moment.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
How old were you when she said that to you?

Speaker 2 (28:37):
I was I was in middle school, okay, yeah, middle school.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
And so you're like, I'm good.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yeah, And you know, she still like hears voices to
this day and hallucinates, and you know she's very like
at home bedridden, you know, and so yeah, but you know,
I'm at a point where I look after her. So
it's a lot. So I am like, I'm a little
shres sounds.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Nice, a little something. It's a lot to have to
care for a parent in general. I feel like watching
my friend's parents' age and my own mother. It's such
an interesting experience where you become the caretaker of your
parents in any way, shape or form, and then add
to it something like mental illness and it becomes all

(29:23):
the more complicated. And so you're in only you're your
mother's only child then, presumably.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Right right, Yeah, so like back to like the weirdos,
you know, because yeah, like you know, my half siblings
were like, you know, abused by my mom. She was
the step mom she married in Okay, and you know,
yeah she got you know, physically violent and stuff. Her
schizophrenia kind of started acting up then, and so they

(29:53):
they're super scared of her. And we're also taiwan my
mom's Taiwanese, and Japan was extra xenophobic back then, so
there was also that too. You know, there's a lot
of like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:07):
Dude, then that's what caused you guys. It sounds like
for a period there then you guys were a stranger.
You and your half siblings were not necessarily in communication.
It's sounded like at least one of them, right, because
that part of it, they do you think they kind
of associated you with your mom.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
And it was totally yeah, yeah, and so I ended
up my dad had full custody of me initially, and
I was with the half siblings after the divorce. But
eventually my grandma, my mom's mom, Yes, the Taiwanese one,
took me and so she ended up raising me. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
Now you do you count yourself close to your mom
now though, because obviously you're taking care of her, but
do you consider your relationship closer? You're like, I'm our
caretaker at this point?

Speaker 2 (30:49):
Yeah, closer for sure. I was scared of her for
most of my life. Yeah, and then now now yes,
now you know I have some such empathy for her,
you know, uh, even though she yeah, she's like you know,
people always ask like, what would you say? You know,

(31:11):
we talk about representation and TV and movies. You're like,
let's go, wasn't it so cool? Like crazy rich Asians
or fresh off the boat an Asian family on TV?
Is that kind of what your family was like? Did
you feel seen? I'm like, no, no, no, I'm like,
have you seen the Ring? The bitch that comes out
of the tvre like?

Speaker 1 (31:32):
That was what my mom, That's what it felt like.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yeah, but I did feel seen, Yes, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 1 (31:38):
When you saw the ring that's what Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Yeah, when the woman like comes out of the TV.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yes, yes, yes, I'm.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
Like, oh, finally a family that looks like mine, and
so you know, all of it, all of it matters.
It's no, it's true.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
I trust.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
I trust when you're thirsty to feel seen and I
think you know that right there. Yeah, at the Exorcists,
Babba Duke, you said you lurk in the darkness. I
was like, oh, yeah, we could be related.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
We could we could be related.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
Let me tell you about Nigerian names and Japanese names, right.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Lots of overlap. Yeah, real though, it's a real thing
that I've recognized too. No one talks about this, well
we are now now on this podcast. No one talks
about the overlap of Nigerian names and Japanese names. Do
you know is any name coming to mind right now?
I'm like, I wish I had thought of this.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
There was like Azuka or yuz Amaka that was a
friend of mine, in college. Yeah too. Do you know
the comedian China Unaka.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
I know China Doo Unaka. Yes, I do. My dear
friend I know him. That is that name could very
well be Japanese. So when we first met, yes.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Years ago, we were doing a college gig together and
I wasn't super on social media. It was like probably
my first or second year in stand up, and I
was talking to the produced like the college organizers. We
were performing at a college together, and I was like, oh,
I'll go pick up miss Unaka. I just saw the name.

(33:20):
You saw the name and I thought I was picking
up a Japanese woman. I was like, yes, I will
pick up missus the other comedian.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yes, yeah, it's like.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
A maybe an all Asian lineup or something. Actually, because
it was the third one was Jenny Yang, I was like,
I just thought it was like an all Asian lineup
for like community, you know colleges do that.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah. So so I pull up to the address and
he is a man, a man.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
I don't know how black man he's taught. It's like
six to two, yes, yes, okay.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
But I'm picturing it's a little Japanese lady. I pull
up in front of his house. You can confirm we
talk about this to this day where I pull up
and in front of his house, but like I'm like stopped
in the middle of the street. Yeah and uh and
so like cars pile up behind me and they start
to honk, and I'm like, oh my god. And then

(34:15):
I'm like, yes, yes, I'm just picking up someone. And
then and then I feel I feel he's like trying
to be silly, like on the window and I just
see this man that I don't know. I scream. I
start driving away and he's like, wait, no, it's me.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
It's me.

Speaker 2 (34:31):
It's me Chinado.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
And I was like, what it's me, missus a Knaka.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Start with that with missus Una. I said, oh my god,
this man is about to take me. Yeah, and so anyway, so.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yes, the overlap is real though, and also the assumptions
when it's a name you don't necessarily recognize straight away,
but some part of it, like within context, you kind
of make an assumption about it is so relatable because
my first time testing for SNL oh, yeah, they were
looking for a guy. The understanding was honestly, yeah, they
were looking for a guy, is how I'll put it.

(35:06):
And so I tested in April of twenty sixteen with
eleven It was ten or eleven guys and me and
testing obviously like the final audition round whatever you know that.
But I got to the hair room at thirty Rock
and I saw the list of names and I was like, oh,
am I the only woman on this and then but

(35:27):
I couldn't. I was trying not to be too nosy
and look over at the list of names. So I
asked the head of the hair department. I didn't know
this at the time, but that's what her role was
very close to Jodie Man who so I asked her.
I was like, is it all guys testing today? And
she was like yeah, and honestly, we thought you were
a boy too, because ego. She's like, we thought you
were a boy too, and now, oh my man, that's

(35:48):
a black girl. That's true. I was like, in the
context of eleven male names and then mine a name
you've never seen before. She was like, yeah, that's gonna
be a dude also, and I was like, kid's me. Wow, yeah,
but you make you make your assumption. It wasn't. Missus
Unaka turned out to be mister Unaka. Yeah, and but
there is a lot of overlap. I know so much overlap.

(36:09):
I get that. At what point did you move to La?
How long ago did you move to LA?

Speaker 2 (36:15):
When I was eight? I was like okay, maybe like
nineteen ninety eight or something.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Okay, yeah, and so this is feels like home to you?
Then La? Would you say?

Speaker 2 (36:24):
Yeah? Yeah? Like what makes me Asian American? I think
is like the branch dressing. Okay, like back to it,
like the tolerance for alcohol. And also Darry, Oh yeah,
I've really mutated. You have mutated mutated my body.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
That's true. What is the what do they call it?
The glow? The when yeah, like alcohol? What is it?
What is it called Asian glow? Asian glow?

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Yeah, there's just like we were really creative with the name.
What is it?

Speaker 1 (36:54):
When it's a glow?

Speaker 2 (36:55):
And the Asians happened, we were like, oh oh, we
huddled up just as a community.

Speaker 1 (37:01):
Let's go with it. Sounds nice, it sounds rich, it sounds.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
It sounds yeah, it sounds like you're thriving.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
Yes, it sounds good. It sounds positive. Someone says you're glowing.
It's a compliment, right, right.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
We're not glowing though, we're red and we're looking like
we're dying.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Because I'm a doctor, I know the science behind that. Yes,
I don't bet it's mutation like you were going earlier.
I think if I keep saying that, people will just
trust that I know what I'm talking about. At this
point like, yeah, well some mutation. It's a mutation.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
I do trust, thank you. Yeah, I've been told you
studied it.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
You did. I have a biology degree? Is high like
to put it. I don't know anything besides what I
shared with you in maybe one or two other facts.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
How often do you drink gin?

Speaker 1 (37:45):
I probably have a gin cocktail like three times a month.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Really, yeah, oh wow, you're so disciplined.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
That's very I is it hard for you to this
is no judge, genuinely to not drink. Do you feel
I feel like in comedy it's hard because you go
to a comedy club and it's like, here's a drink ticket,
here's a free drink, there's drinks in the back for
you whatever, or your agents want to take you out
and they're like, we'll take you to drinks. And at
a point a few years ago I had to be like,

(38:15):
just because something is free does not mean you need
to take it again.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
I'm still It's called poverty brain.

Speaker 1 (38:23):
I think. So do you throw things away? Are you
good about throwing things away?

Speaker 2 (38:29):
No?

Speaker 1 (38:30):
You struggle to do that too.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
Don't you kind of get that energy from me that
I keep everything?

Speaker 1 (38:36):
You seem put together?

Speaker 2 (38:37):
You see me together to me drinking every night, rants dressing,
drinking girls.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
If you didn't tell me any of that, and I
just saw you on the street, I go, she's put together.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
She's put together, and we can hold dualities like that.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
That's the thing about humans.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Are you a Gemini will hurt me? No, I should
say that to you. I'm a Piscey's we're gentle. Oh yes, no,
I know. Yeah, some of my good friends are pisces.
Here everyone says, right, some of my best friends are pisces.
And then and then some you know.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
Some crazy story like oh, Pisces broke my heart a
genminely I broke.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
You're very in touch with your emotions, right, and you're yeah,
like loyal and yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah kind I would say, yeah. I mean, I don't
feel like it's when someone pays you a compliment. How
do you generally? I mean, I've already seen how you
generally take it. I'm like you put together, You're like me,
no way, no, right right.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
I don't do well with compliments. Yeah, okay, where do
you think that comes from? Uh, not receiving them at all?

Speaker 1 (39:42):
You didn't receive them?

Speaker 2 (39:43):
Yeah too, you know when I do now as an adult? Yeah,
I don't have a filter. I don't know where it
goes in a weird part of my brain, just like
like hugs or something. I didn't grow up with them. Yeah,
so I hug weird.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
Okay, what are your hugs kind of cold?

Speaker 2 (40:01):
I think some people would say like, oh, why is
it sideways or like a hard tack.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
Like I don't know what to do with this.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
Yeah. Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
You can feel when someone melts into a hug or
when someone is giving you a cold like I don't
really want to be doing this. I feel very passionate
about hugs. No, and I'm like, oh, if you don't
want to give them, don't give that. But a cold
hug somehow is worse than no hug to me.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
I'm working on it, yeah, I mean, but then I
get too warm. One time I actually kissed the person
and I was like, I don't know what I'm doing.
I just came back from a europe tour. I thought
I had I was French, you know what I mean?
I got confused.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
Kiss I'm on the cheek or the mouth?

Speaker 2 (40:41):
The mouth?

Speaker 1 (40:43):
I was like, why?

Speaker 2 (40:45):
I think I was trying to make up for the
fact that maybe I'm still not so used to it.
So I was trying to be like, I'm here, I'm
very present.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
Yeah, uh, let's go a wait, how did you and
your husband meet?

Speaker 2 (40:59):
What if I was it was that hug.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
That was the one person I accidentally kissed.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
We met through a mutual friend who Yeah, like I think,
like Tinder and stuff was starting to happen, so we
just missed it like phone dating.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Okay, that's a good thing. No, don't you feel like
that's a good did? Do you feel like you missed
out on the online dating? Digital dating? I am.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
I am curious about how that interface, yeah works?

Speaker 1 (41:29):
Have you ever swiped over my hundred?

Speaker 2 (41:32):
Sorry?

Speaker 1 (41:32):
Yeah, that interface? Have you ever swiped on behalf of
a friend?

Speaker 2 (41:36):
Oh? No, I don't know if they trust me. People
don't really trust me for I don't think they would
trust me for that.

Speaker 1 (41:45):
No, Yeah, do you are you generally? I mean you
have a husband. Are you generally were you generally before
you had a husband good at picking partners minus the
emo guys who were dark.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Yeah, dark and into like yeah long movies. But uh
I you know, I kind of was like a very
got into monogamy by accident. I would like latch onto
a relationship. So I've only been in like three my
whole life.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
That's more than me. You're doing great and you're done
now presumably.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Yeah, this is it. Yeah, so maybe that's why, like,
who am I to help someone swipe? Because they're like
OD school doesn't know.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Well, it's basically dating apps are basically a game now anyway,
It's like basically the New York Time Games app should
throw Tinder on there as well, because it's not none
of it's dating. It's gamified. So when my friends who
are in relationships, when I used to be on dating apps,
one I want to swipe, I'm like, yeah, take a look,
because they want to see the interface. Right right, you
were in one hundred to say that people want to
see the interface, and they're all different.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
They they swipe for.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
You, yeah, and it doesn't matter, Like it's it's so
low stakes because one it's a game. And because two,
it's like, Okay, great if I match with this person,
I don't really want to talk to you don't have to,
you don't have you don't actually have too, right, which
is yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:01):
I forget when you when someone doesn't want you, do
you get notified.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
Like, oh they don't want you.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
No, that would be okay, that would be off I
know Okay, I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Okay, okay, that would be so brutal. That would be
so brutal.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
That's life sometimes, yeah, okay, like that.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
It is, well, that is, but that's the part people
are trying. I feel like trying to skip on the
dating apps is like okay, I I don't want to
face rejection, so I'm gonna get on this app. And
it creates this boundary, this distance. Okay, you and your husband,
though you met through mutual friends, do you want to
tell the tale? People want to know this kind of tea.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
It's very it's very like, not that exciting. But our
friend was shooting like a short film and I was
helping him produce it and my husband was acting. Yeah,
and so that's how we met, and then he met
that way. I love a funny person I have a
witty person and very empathetic too, could read people. I

(43:56):
love people too, And so I was like, oh wow,
I like this energy. And then of course go figure
his mom also has schizophrenia. Oh wow. And so I
was like, oh, you know, suddenly so much didn't have
to be explained between us, right, you could see a
person's child. You know, we're very different backgrounds, but it's

(44:19):
it's such a wild thing to have in common with someone. Yeah,
that you were romantically like feeling feelings for m Yeah,
it was. It was really cool, Like and he uh
helps look after my mom too, Okay, and there's like
a shorthand he knows yeah, he gets it all.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah, how did you guys cross the line? Because I've
heard a few stories in the last like several months
about people who have met their partner in a work
setting and been like, we're not going to cross the
line here because it's work, it's professional. So like, how
did you guys go from work to like, oh.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
You, oh, we disrespected our friends project, we were not respectful, Okay,
we there's no hr you know, it's a it's a
short interest making movie. Yeah together, Yeah, yeah, totally Okay.
I wouldn't call it. I mean, you know it was
an sn L. It was it was you know, it

(45:12):
was friends in Silverlake by the CVS.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
Sure trash can. Okay, did you did he ask you
out or you asked him out? Or was the vibe
I think?

Speaker 2 (45:23):
I yeah, I asked him out. I was. I was
kind of like flirting and okay, yeah, and he received
it back.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
He received your flirting and he you know, yeah, it was.
It was good.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
It was a lot of joking already.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
When did you make the connection that both your moms
were schizophrenic? How early?

Speaker 2 (45:37):
It was like our third date in so we started
going on a couple of dates. Third date, we were
about to like you know, like like hook up in
his bedroom and uh, his phone goes off and he's like,
I'm sorry, this is my mom. I have to take it.
And I was like, oh, but I'm literally like in

(45:59):
my underwear. Yeah, what do you mean? What is he
like a mama's boy? Like this is bad, this is
bad news, red flag, red flag. So he takes up.
I was like, really, you can't wait, No, it's my mom. Mommy.
I was like okay. So he goes right and then
he's out there for like an hour talking to her,
and I hear him like calming her down, and then

(46:20):
I hear him singing to her. That's when I was like, oh,
I started gathering my stuff. I was like, he's a
he's a murderer. This man sings with his mom before sex. Yeah,
And I was like, are they harmonizing? So but then
he comes back, I'm not horny anymore.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
Sure of course. Then I don't know how you could be.
If you were, I'd be questioning you right now.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
I was like, what is he that guy? You know
that movie Hitchcock? Yeah, it's like mom complex, Thanks mom.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
Thanks moment, different show, movie podcast, Yes, a different show.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
But yeah, he goes, sorry, that was my mom. She
has this thing. I don't know if you've heard of it, schizophrenia.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Never heard of it. And you're like, no, I've never
heard of skish. My god, are you kidding?

Speaker 2 (47:04):
I was like, my mom too, and okay, we had
the craziest sex after.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
Oh my god, So you got horny when you found
out both of your moms had schizophrenia. It made you
so wet.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
Everything came back.

Speaker 1 (47:15):
I was like, we deserve this, okay.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
We were like, you know, throwing each other. It was like, yeah,
super like just yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
That is a unique story. I don't know why you
were trying to withhold that from me.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
Oh no, no, it's because because you're my doctor and
you have to slowly reveal to doctor slash. You know,
do you have friends?

Speaker 1 (47:36):
Do you ever lie to your doctor?

Speaker 2 (47:39):
I'm very I go to my doctor very seldomly. I've
gone once ever to my newest doctor. I didn't have
health insurance for a long time. Okay, I think that's
why I don't super go to the doctor. Because now
that I have health insurance. Yeah, I'm like, oh, now
you want to see me.

Speaker 1 (47:57):
You know, I'm a little stone I needed when I
needed you.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
Yeah, like a like a lover that Yeah I didn't
want me.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
Yeah you know.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
Okay, so do I lie? I have lied to the doctor. Yeah,
I will lie because I drink every night.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
So you don't oh on the form those forms feel
me being like those forms are so intrusive.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
But you behave I drink three times a month?

Speaker 1 (48:21):
It's no, I drink. No, But it's more that I
it's more that I. It's it's more that I'm like
I've had you said, how many times I've had a
gin cocktail. How many times do I have a gin cocktail?
And it's like three times in a month, But I
have other cocktails. But I'm not but I'm true. But
the truth is I'm not drinking a lot. That is true.
You're not wrong, but.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
I mind tricked you into being a good girl.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Yes, it's because you want your doctor to be you
want your doctor to be your girl. Yeah. I'm fascinated
by because I do think people lie to their doctors.
And I also have doctors of my family, and the
doctors know you're lying. By the way. People they know.
I'm sure generally they're like, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
You know what, because they're liars too.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
Yeah, because they're but they're human and maybe lyon you.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Don't think I've seen doctors smoking cigarettes on break out
back in front of Home State where I get breakfast
tacos too, very tasty, got out homesteak.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Those are good tacos. So okay, you're the one time
you went to the doctor. I'm congratulation lates this latest one. Congratulations.
By the way, I'm getting health and shirts. I didn't
have it for a while before I got on sn L.
I didn't have it and One of my coworkers was like,
what are you gonna do if you get into an accident.
I was like, We're not thinking about that. You just

(49:35):
don't think about it. I'm manifesting no accident and I
should hopefully be fine. Is it worked out?

Speaker 2 (49:41):
That's why we do witchy things. I'm very close to
my acupuncturist. You are you know what I mean? You
have to you become a witch. I've been seeing witches
for years because I've had to improvise ginger juice. I
know my juice person very well.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
Okay, I love ginger. Yeah, I will drink. Let me
tell you about the power of ginger. Yes, ginger is
incredibly effective.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
Depression ginger, something like that.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
Ginger. I'm always like my mom growing up. Her solution
to everything was she's a doctor. But as far as
I'm concerned, her solution to everything was like vasseline, vasseline.
Your stomach hurts, put vasseline, Yes, yes that it just
put vastline on. So for your rashslin vain.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
I do the same too, I relate for my family.
It was It's also it was an ointment too, yeah,
topical ointment, but it was like tigerbomb.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Oh, but my mom put me on the tiger Bam.
I love Tiger Bomb. I travel with my tiger mom. Yes,
I want to say thanks told we are.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Did something happen like in the Pangaea times, like Nigeria
and Japan like words, and it's.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Connected, it's connected, it's it might not be geographically, but
in Pangaea times, something for sure happened.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
Yes, something happened at least with this ointment stuff.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Yeah. Do you swear by anything else besides acupuncture ginger?

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Yeah, and like the too American and stuff like that.
So you know, like peppermint for headaches. You know, my
Grandma's been using that a lot for her for her headaches.
What else? What else do people do? What else do
you do?

Speaker 1 (51:20):
I mean I drink a lot of water. I do
drink a lot of water.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Yeah, water, but with water like an American thing, like
a US thing.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Wait, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Because when I was in like Asia, I don't think
I drink this much water?

Speaker 1 (51:38):
That is Okay, I'm gonna this is interesting because I've
been going to Europe a lot lately, okay, And I'm like,
is that no one's drinking like yeah, they barely. Yeah,
I'm always like, wait, more water. No, no one's drinking water.
Everyone's got their coffee and I don't. Yeah, and I'll
go I'll spend a whole day with someone and I'm like,

(51:59):
I think I saw drink water one time today. That's
crazy to me.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
Grandma hasn't drank water in years.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
And how old is she?

Speaker 2 (52:07):
Ninety?

Speaker 1 (52:07):
So big water has been lying to us if we
don't need it.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
I think like hydration is a big American thing.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Yeah, you know with the big, the big like.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
You know, the the bottles that they have to put
down and it makes a loud thud.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
With the with the with the like the measurements on
it that are like keep going. You almost got this that.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
When I go to lunch with a friend, they always
like they have to set it on the table to.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
Let you know they're taking care. Yes, yeah, wait can
we google if who made this up water? Big water?

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Yeah? Same with big Kale. Big kN Kale was also
us kale used to be a garnish, used to be
a garnish for me. It was I don't know where
your memories of it was. It was pizza hut where
they would put the chicken wings on top of the kale,
I swear.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
Yes, I just I don't remember where exactly. Maybe my
might have been Olive garden, but just a little piece
of kale on the side of the place. And now
we're I ordered a kale salad from erawon last night
and it was like twenty five dollars. I know, a
little tub of kale, and I go, this was a garnish.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
It used to be my napkin. I would use it
to wipe the sauce from the chicken.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
Yeah, yeah, on it. Yeah, And I go, who they
really kale kale? They really switched up on us. Oh yeah,
the machine is machining and now it's expensive.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
For a little bit. It's like, well, Brussels sprouts is
still a thing people really serve in restaurants. Yes, you know,
it's a little basic to me. But it was like,
I don't know if it was like filling and kind
of an affordable thing, a more affordable thing to sell
at like fancy restaurants or something.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
Yeah. Well, also, I was saying last year, maybe it's
like two years ago, even three?

Speaker 2 (53:47):
What is time?

Speaker 1 (53:48):
I was saying, deviled eggs having such a moment, and
why are we acting like deviled eggs and like luxurious dish,
I know, cookout food. Yes, this is cookout food. Why
is this fancy restaurant being like, oh, on our appetizer menu,
have a gorgeous double degg. Honey, this is for a cookout.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
Why are they ignored that became trendy?

Speaker 1 (54:07):
Yeah, you know it's fascinating. Even pigs in a blanket, Honey,
these are hot dogs.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
I know, I know these are hot dogs.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
Why are you pretending that this is some delicacy?

Speaker 2 (54:18):
You know what I think it is is like adults
adults actually, you know, we're all still wanting to be kids.
So like we just go we call it something else,
like the charcuterie plate. Yeah, besides it being like, you know, lunchables.
It is right, you're so right, but it's like if
we call it charcuterie, it's a French word. Oh wait, wie, exactly,

(54:45):
you can judge forty five dollars instead of you know,
a three dollars lunchable.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
Some Honestly, imagine next time someone has a wine night,
you just pull up with lunchables. You could for yourself
for them.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
Because that's what we were trying to do. Pigs in
a blanket same thing. We're just trying to eat like
we wanted to as kids, but maybe our parents don't
make it. You know. That's why there's so many pancakes
at adult dining like breakfast places, and there's My boyfriend
just shared a video with me of this chef teaching
you how to make the perfectly aer rated, the most

(55:18):
perfectly a rated pancake, and I was.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
Like, honey, what is this? What do we watching right now?
I'm like, what's the what's the mix? Throwing the water
and throw it on and give me a crispy edge.
I'm fine, Yes, christ.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Say you miss being a kid, Yeah, and that's okay,
but like make the make it the price of what
it would be if it was for kids, for kids.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
That's true, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (55:39):
Because they aer rated it, they breathed air in it,
oxygenated it.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Yeah, they let oxygen touch it, but oxygen's already doing
its thing.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
It's like a molecular gastronomy. It's that thing right where
they're like, they're like, oh, I mean, those places are
creepy to me because they asked questions like have you
ever smoked a chocolate cake before?

Speaker 1 (56:00):
You know what I mean? I've never been to one
of those.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
I had not your Yeah, you better eat it before
it disappears.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
I'm like, what going to Is it going to disappear?

Speaker 2 (56:09):
What are you trying to? Fuck? Yeah, it's very like
four Place, very horny bus. Yeah. You can eat it,
you can eat the menu, eat it, eat it, put
in your mouth, you know.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
Yeah. I just say, yeah, I just saw that Noma
to the restaurant Copenhagen has a pop up coming to
Los Angeles and the tickets sold they were fifteen hundred
dollars apiece. And I love food and I love dining out,
and I was like, see now this is we're getting.
This is getting out of hand. Personally, fifteen hundred dollars

(56:40):
for dinner that's one person. Yeah, that's crazy now.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
No, of course, yes, yeah, I didn't know about this Noma.
I never heard of it.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
Yeah, I'm like, that's a lot, that's and I enjoy
a nice experience, and I'm like, that might be you
might you might have found my wall. Yeah, you might
have discovered where I gotta go. Wait a minute.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
Now when it's over, Like, that's.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Just crazy, I mean, but maybe it's worth it. It
might be worth it. I don't know, and it's not
to knock the chef. I'm happy for the chef, congratulations.
I think that's amazing. But I'm like, damn, people are
really out here just fifteen hundred.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
Dollars No me, I'm still here being like I have
all these crackers that are brought back from Salt Lake
City just because it was in my.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Green room and you can't throw them away? Do you
take the things out of your green room when okay,
because you have a rider with the things that you
want in your green room. Yeah, you're one person and
you're not like hanging in your green room for hours
on end when you have the leftovers. What do you
do with your green room stuff? Well?

Speaker 2 (57:39):
Sometimes so I'll have an opener and then my husband's
there with me. He's like my tour manager. So that
is three of us, but that's still we're not a band.

Speaker 1 (57:46):
Yes, right, right right.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
And so it is a lot. Sometimes we've had to
leave it behind and I hate doing that, so I
try to take as much as I can with me,
or I'll see if the staff wants it. But yeah,
I have traveled back with crackers and like meat, if
it's domestic abroad you will get in trouble. Yeah, I
think they publicly shame you. And also I think maybe

(58:11):
charge you.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
If you take the meat, if you bring.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
Meat from like another country, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
Yeah, I saw that on the forum when I was
coming back to the States like last week. I was like,
do I have anything to declare? The interesting thing is
I'm like, you could say, no, what are the odds
my back's gonna get searched for meat? Or and it
was like, are you carrying any cheeses?

Speaker 3 (58:31):
Ye?

Speaker 2 (58:31):
See those dogs, Oh.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
The dogs they scare you.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
And then you were coming back from Europe.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
I was coming back from Europe, okay to New York.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
Yeah. Well there's this thing where if you're going to
Australia and you're coming from Asia, which you typically will
so US to Asia because it's it's like the midway point,
it's like really close Southeast Asia, and then you go
to Australia. Yeah, they will stop every Asian because we
are carrying meat every time. You're like every time, every uncle,

(59:01):
every aunt. Yes, it's just the Australian like before you
get like the what is it the check people.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
It's the customs.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
It's all Asian families being like I told you not
to bring the lobster, and it's like them fighting and
then being.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
Like what is this two lobsters?

Speaker 2 (59:17):
Yeah, what's in here? They're like nothing, and it's like,
oh yeah, shells, you know, And so yeah, it's because
we you know, we're trying to bring family, I mean
food back to the family and things like that. But
but Europe, you were was more relaxed.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
I remember I figured. I was like, oh I did
buy something. It wasn't cheese. I bought a purse.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
You did.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
And I never I never shop when I traveled, to
be honest, because my suitcase when I go is filled
to the brim.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
Were you at fashion Week?

Speaker 1 (59:45):
No, I wasn't even I was. I went on a vacation.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
Oh I love Barcelona too.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
I really enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
I love the warmth of the people. I love people
playing just it feels like New York to me. YEA
doesn't have that vibe.

Speaker 1 (59:59):
It's a it's a really cool vibe. Immunity enjoyed it. Yeah,
it was so warm and like temperature wise, and I
was saying the people like the vibe is so cool.
But then my flight got canceled because of a blizzard
in New York and then so I went to France,
to Paris and to do a night there. But when
I was coming back, it was like, do you have anything?
Because I said I bought a purse.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
I was like, I got stopped. I got I had
to go to customs and stop and do that whole thing.
And then I asked the guy. I was like, so
if I had said no, would this had been fine?
And he's like yes and no. He's like yes, but
if someone stopped, you would have got in trouble. And
he was like, you would have got taxed fifteen percent
instead of the like three percent you're getting taxed now.

(01:00:39):
And I'm like, oh no, I think it's worth the
risk for my time. I thought. I was like, I
should have just been like, no, I don't have anything.
But I saw people. I'm like, people are traveling from
France with cheese. They like specifically asked you of cheese. No, no, no,
no cheese.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
It's what they're known for. A few things I know
about it. Okay, I played this game on my phone
where I own restaurants. Okay, one of them is a
French restaurant. So that's how I know.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
So that's how you know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
And also each place is known for.

Speaker 1 (01:01:07):
You're also a little miss lactose tolerant now too, so
you know you're cheese and you know you're dairy. Yeah,
you're you're deeply involved in I'm very kind.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
Yes, jeez wine friends is like they're what they're known
for is very like stereotypical. Right, yeah, let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Yes, I have to transition to a segment called about good.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
I thought I was in trouble, a.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
Scaring you?

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
No, just quick, yeah, because I have to next next locations.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Next location is that's nice, This is the segment that's nice.
But what about me?

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Next segment?

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
You're doing a lot of traveling too. You're claiming to
be dizzy, but you seem to have it together. I'm
traveling a lot and I'm you called me unhinged maybe earlier,
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
The situation the situation was, which.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Is yes, which is a kind way. I'm part of
the situation. I'm partially to blame and I'm culpable for
the situation. How do you how do you adjust to
time zones? What's do you have a trick? That's what
I want to know.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Oh gosh, I don't have a trick. I know people do,
like melotonin and things like this, or like there's apps
to help you, you know, if you're organized. I think
Bowen had one of those apps. I am very like,
live in the moment, present person, So I am a
terrible person to be able to help out. But I

(01:02:27):
know that you're supposed to. You know, if you're gonna
land during the day where you're going, try to sleep
on the plane. Okay, right, if it's if you're landing
at night, try not to sleep on the plane so
that you can sleep, you know, with the people, the
local people.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
Okay, yeah, okay, this is good. I'm always like I
get on a plane and I am immediately like I
have a playlist called flying, and no matter what time
of day it is, I'm like, I'm gonna put this
on and it's gonna put me to sleep. I've had
it for ten years, wow, almost ten years, and I'm like,
you need to stop falling asleep when you know you're
like middle of the day, like noontime somewhere. I gotta

(01:03:03):
work on it. Okay, I'm gonna work on it. You
have my word. You have my word fly like a bird?
Is that you're gonna get charged. You're gonna catch you
get charged. I'm kidding.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
This is what song was.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
No, I'm like a bird fly.

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
I'm trying to put the word like a flying, like
a bird, I only fly away.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
Okay, well, thank you for that advice, and my advice
to you is vaseline on the rash, Thank you so much.
Which might be exma, might be psoriasis. We'll get to
the bottom of it off camera. But we also have
to help someone else a listener very quickly. Listener, we
have a listener voicemail. Can we hear it?

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Please? Hey?

Speaker 3 (01:03:49):
Ago and potential guests whose name I don't know yet.
So my question is about my husband and I. We've
been married nearly twelve years and we're pretty chill. But
in the last couple of years, I've come to find
out that my husband is like a super Republican, which,

(01:04:12):
you know whatever. I don't identify as one way or
another because I'm just, you know, be a good person
and that's how I'll wrote. But he's like really gone
the Trump route, and man, that is unfortunate because I

(01:04:32):
disagree with a lot of that. I'm not super one
side or the other. But if you're just not a
great person. You're not a great person. So my question
would be, like, how do you talk about how do
you disagree without like throwing away your own relationship? So

(01:04:56):
trying to keep this short, but yeah, that's my question.

Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
Thanks, OT's go. What do you say?

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
Oh my gosh, I mean I'm a child of divorced parents.
Uh so if they could do it, you could do
it too. No, I'm yeah, man, it's it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
That's hard. Yeah, what would you what was what's your advice?

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Haven't politicians have done it? Or like people? There was
like a god, I forget her name? Is it? Kelly
and Conway and George Conway. He's a Democrat and she's
super like she was Trump maga like a mouthpiece for him.
And they have a kid together. They they had a
they're still married, I think.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
So what's your You're like, how do you just like
just stay married or divorce?

Speaker 2 (01:05:44):
Oh my gosh, I mean it's easier to say divorced,
but if you're gonna stay married, I would guess they
probably had a lot of wild sex. It has to
be wild, okay, Like something's gotta keep you together. Okay,
it's not the conversations.

Speaker 1 (01:05:59):
Okay, Yeah, I mean, I think that is tough. It's
also interesting. I've never been married before, but the notion
of like big reveal I'm really Republican or big reveal.
I'm like, that's interesting that it's just like buried away?
Are there were the signs?

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
Not?

Speaker 1 (01:06:18):
Wouldn't they come up like somehow like because that's such
an extreme viewpoint. I feel that's such an extreme viewpoint
at this stage, at this juncture in society. So I'm like,
I'm I'm surprised to hear that. It is a surprise
in any way. Uh yeah, I think what Oscar said
is you gotta have sex.

Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
Maybe you gotta have sex, right, because it would come
up in daily conversations unless you're only like talking about
food or something. But wouldn't it come up like speaking
of Mexican food, wouldn't he say something like that? Wouldn't
be like a wall. I don't know what the movies
you watch, the movies you want?

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
I know, so I but you know, sometimes it is
not unlike people I'm discovering to get married to someone
and be like I didn't know this about them, And
I'm like, that is fascinating to me, because what are
you guys? Talking about like even when couples get married
and they're like, we got divorced because I wanted kids
and he did it or vice versa. And I know
minds can change, for sure, but I'm on that front.

(01:07:23):
So with that particular example, but I'm like, did we
not talk about that before we decided to bind our
lives together? Every once in a while, I'm like, it
doesn't even sound like mines were changed. It just sounds
like you didn't cover that before you shaming you. I'm
just like, talk, I'm so fast. I would need more information.

Speaker 2 (01:07:39):
I would understand, like unless you were like rock climbing
the whole time and you're so busy because you know,
when you're rock climbing, you can't talk. Is that so
it's like anal you don't have time to talk because
you're so physically entrenched in the thing.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
It is like that I'm saying, I don't know. I
don't know anything about either of them, but I don't
take time.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
And so you know, we tried one time Thanksgiving and
this past Thanksgiving years ago, okay, and then we tried
to go out Christmas, So you tried more than once
and then, but enough to know okay when it's happening,
we're not small talking Hey, how was your day? Yeah, No,
it's because I'm like, you know, I'm very in it,

(01:08:21):
and he's also trying to be gentle. Yeah, I imagine
about climbing similar. I've also never bought climbing. But you know,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
Like, yeah, it's making me wonder if they weren't really
like talk when you say me and my husband are
super chill. If it's like yeah, because we haven't gotten
into stuff before, we kind of keep it kosher, keep
the peace. That could be a symptom of that. So
if you want to if you're like interested in a
living in life that continues to be that, then I'm like,
that's what you're interested in doing. If that is for me,

(01:08:52):
it reflects a sort of moral issue. But if that's
not the case for you, and I would have a
heart that wouldn't be really possible for me. But if
it's not a moral issue for you, it's not a
moral issue for you. But yeah, that's I need to
have a little more information about your relationship. And I
normally don't say that, but call back and give us

(01:09:12):
more details. I said, are you guys rock climbing. Are
you know what's going on? How are uh listen to ye?

Speaker 2 (01:09:20):
That was way more insightful.

Speaker 1 (01:09:21):
Yeah, I give us more information, but okay, thank you.
We did our best. We did our best to give
advice there. I hope it was some I'm like, we
might need some more information, but truly wishing you the best.
Thank you for calling and asking for advice, Oscar, thank
you for being here.

Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
Thank you for having me. Of course, this was thanks
Dad with with Yeah it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:45):
Was you did. You did a great job. Come on,
give it up for Osco. Thank you. That was my
conversation with Otsko Katska. That was fun, wow, chaotic, unhinged.

(01:10:05):
That's what we were giving. Hope you enjoyed.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
I did.

Speaker 1 (01:10:08):
I had a good time and honestly, we did our
best to give advice. I hope it was helpful. Again,
truly follow up if you need to. Thanks to my guests.
Thanks to Ranch. There was a lot of love in
this one. Anyway, if you want advice from me and
my next guest, which we try our best. We're not
qualified to be giving advice by any stretch of the imagination,

(01:10:30):
but damn it, we try. Call us call us. The
number is five zero two, Thanks Dads. That's five zero
two eight four nine three two three seven five zero
two eight four nine three two three seven. Please call
leave a message. I look forward to hearing from you.
I'm gonna try to help you. Can barely help myself,
but damn it, we're gonna try to help you. Thanks

(01:10:52):
for listening as you next time. Thanks Dad is a
production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts.
I'm your host Aigo wodem Our producer is Kevin Bartelt
and our executive producer is Matt appadaka

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
Mm hm