Josh Segarra

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hi, people. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad
you're still listening. Yeah, I'm a fan of you for
being a fan of me. But also, chances are you're
a cool person and we should be friends. I have
a friend rule I want to share today that I
think is important, sharing people's contact information without asking them
for permission. Why are we doing that? Maybe we don't anymore.

(00:31):
I feel like phone numbers, emails, and maybe I am
crazy for this are sacred and before you share someone's
contact you should ask them. Every once in a while,
someone will be like, can I have so and So's number?
And I'm like, wait, let me just ask so and
so if that's okay that I share their phone number.
And then they'll say yes or maybe no. Usually it's yes,
by the way, usually it is yes, but on that

(00:53):
off chance that it may be no. I want to
protect them. I want to protect their contact information, so
I don't necessarily share. So why don't we just take
a beat pause when someone asks next time and go,
hold on, let me just check with them. Let me
check with them, let me see if it's okay with them.
Maybe they have a different email they want to give
you Some people have like six, seven, eight, nine to

(01:15):
ten email addresses, and that's how they compartmentalize. Some people
are me and maybe this is all really just a
personal anecdote after all, But I have a podcast. I
get to say things like this on said podcast, and
so that's what I'm doing. I'm very excited for the
conversation I'm about to have. I think it's gonna be
a really good one. I'm so so excited. Josh Segatta

(01:36):
is here, but I'm gonna introduce him properly in his presence.
That was just a teaser in which I revealed completely
who the next guest is. Also, the titles on wherever
you find your podcast and on YouTube have spoiled it already,
so I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Anyway, Thanks
for being here. Listen to this conversation. I should read

(02:03):
your intro deal because if I forget to do this.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
I'm always nervous before you, before I hear any intro,
because I wonder what intro you have. I wonder you
didn't know this is going to be. Yeah, I'm excited.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
I've had people write their own intro.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's what you think about it? That intro I met,
I didn't have one like you.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Listen, there's still time if they want to take a
beat while I read this one to come up with
you a different one that's allowed apparently now. My next
guest is an actor who is known for his starring
roles in Scream Six, Abbot, Elementary, The Other Two Arrow,
and now in the brand new show Best Medicine on Fox.

(02:44):
It's Josh Segata. Is that what I said?

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah? Of course you killed absolutely Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Oh I'm so happy you're here.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Thank you very much. I'm very happy to be here.
I'm a big fan of yours, right, appreciate you for
having me in and getting a chat and getting to
talk to a new friend.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Thank you so much. We're actually family now, you see,
because in the first season of this podcast, I was like,
these people are my dad's for the day. So now
we're damn near blood. I just want you to know. Okay,
we have to start with who or what do you
want to say thanks to today?

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Okay, So I've been thinking about this because you very
nicely said we should think about this. Yes, yes, And
then of course I listened to a few episodes.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
You're a diligent student, I'm your.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
Newest fan with the podcast. I'm a fan of yours
as an actress, but now I'm a news fan of
the podcast. I listen to Moffitts, I listen to Rokers,
I listen to Simus. Okay, so I'm gonna start with
something small today. Okay, I'm gonna give context. So Okay,
So when I was so when I was in college,

(03:47):
shout out to shout out to Steladler, we had a
teacher named Ron Burris in our Adler Technique class that
every day we started the class with in the last
twenty four hours since I've seen you, what's one thing
that you you've observed, were one thing you learned. So I'm
gonna take the thank you, and today I want to

(04:08):
thank the barista, the girl at the gym who makes
the smoothies. Okay, because there's a rotation of them, but
there's one that like she just kills it. It's like
creamy and it's not too icy, like it's thick, and
it's just the right amount of sweet where you feel
like you're not eating your veggies, but it's just the

(04:30):
right amount of healthy to feel like you are eating
your veggeis oh wow, She's always doing it with a smile.
Even if I don't want a smoothie and she's there,
I'm gonna go get a smoothie.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
So to her shout out, I need to get her name,
and after today, I'm gonna ask her name.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
And then the second I want to think is the
ticket takers on the train. So I come in from Jersey,
I'm in the burbs out there, and I will tell
you that on the New Jersey Transit train, those ticket
takers are always in a good mood. It does not
matter what time of day. I feel like they're not
like overly nice if they don't need to be, but
like if I'm going to a ball game, or if
I have a Knicks jersey on a Ranger's jersey on,
They'll always be like, oh this go Nicks. I just

(05:08):
feel like they're very warm on the train, and I
appreciate that because that is how you start your day, Yes,
that is how you end your day. Yeah. And I
just feel like they're back in a thousand. I don't
think I've ever had a better interaction with any of them.
So thank you to the ticket takers, and thank you
to my girl at the gym.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
At the gym to make sure of the perfect smoothies.
And that's clutch.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
By the way I'm thinking about that.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
I could tell based on your description. But I have
a lot of respect for that.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
You know, likes to icy. All of a sudden, you're
eating like a bowl of like crushed purple ice.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yes, listen, I just started making smoothies at home.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
Well, actually got a Vitam mix a few years back.
If you ever get like an appliance and then use
it for some time and then you decide you don't
care about it anymore, disappear, and so I've been buying
I was like buying smoothies for like two years after
the Vitam mix, and I was like, wait a minute,
Like three months ago, I was like, I have a
Vitam mix.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
I can make this's exactly how I want.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Now, I want exactly, so I don't do too much
ice in mind, So I have a lot of respect.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
For you do the frozen banana trick, you know, I do,
of course ice exactly.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
And you know I got a whole bag. I got
multiple bags of frozen banana.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
A little different ziploc baggs. I I've got some baggies
with four bananas in it, some baggies with.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Two same, some baggies with broken bananas. Correct, some baggies
with bananas that a little too brown.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Like those have been in here for eight months.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yes, but I'm using it. It's good. Yesterday making it smoothie,
I was like, because my favorite concoction is the like
almond milk. I throw my almond milk. I throw in
a little bit of almond butter. Oh wow, yeah for protein.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
Okay, it's nice.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Some protein.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
It never gets I never get to by the way.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
I'm not gonna lie. Just discovered I'm like this stuff,
the almond butter has a lot of fat in it.
So here I am thinking I'm going straight protein. I
just looked at the label. I never looked at the label.
I was bored. Like a week ago, I was like,
I should look at the label. I was like, oh, damn,
that's a lot of fat. Is it supposed to have
that much? Anyway? This is what I still put it
in there in there because that's what I'm used to.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
It's like, what's a juice generation the almond butter bliss?

Speaker 1 (07:08):
You know that I get that.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
See that there. I like theirs. When I use almond
butter at home, I don't feel like my proportions are right.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
The reality is I don't know how much to put in.
I think you're right. I think you're right. Yesterday I
was kind of disgusted by my own shout out to
the girl who makes the perfect smoothie. Yeah it's not
it's not me. And also the New Jersey Transit employees
who take the tickets. They were a staple in my
youth because I used to I lived in Jersey for

(07:40):
a year with my cousins when I was growing up,
and so my cousin and I used to come to
New York all the time on the New Jersey Transit
from the Edison stop. Okay, and one year, I remember
the ticket taker did not take my ticket, but he
stamped me, and I was like, WHOA a real one.
Held onto this untake tickets unclaimed ticket forever, being like

(08:03):
one day I'm gonna get a free ride. I'm gonna
get a free ride into the city from Jersey. Because
he didn't take my ticket, I just threw it away
like two years ago, because I was like, oh, this
is like so expired. It was like eight years old
at this point, and so I was like, all right,
you gotta throw it away because I don't. It's very
obviously not purchased any time and truly different exactly, it

(08:25):
doesn't even look the same. And so I was like, dang,
but I really wanted to catch that free ride one time.
Because he didn't take the ticket. It was so kind.
I don't know why.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
It's like those see now you know I am a student.
I listen to them when you're talking about gift cards. Yes, yes,
and that that is sometimes what I find with gift
cards that I get where I forget about them, but
then it's like a present a year later. Yes, if
they oh my goodness, you're like, oh my god, thank you.
I go for this gift card.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
It's the best. So I have a gift card. My
director of My Woman show shout out to Carmen Angelica,
who came in, swooped in, saved the day. Give me
a gift card to my local coffee shop. Very stealthily too,
because I had been like, Hey, do you want something
from the coffee shop when we were going to rehearse.
I was like, I go to this place all the time.
Love how Carmen thought this is what I mean that meaningful,

(09:12):
Like I'm paying attention to the details. Carmen does not
live in my neighborhood. Presented me with a gift card
to send coffee shop at the end of my run.
But I can't find the card. I used it once
and I can't find it. But I know it's somewhere,
and I keep going. Instead of getting frustrated, I'm just
gonna be excited about the day I do find it
a year from now and every.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Time you go there, like this should be a freeze.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Every single time. Right now, As a matter of fact,
I feel love avoided the place because I'm like, no,
I have a gift card somewhere in my home. That's
somehow I misplaced. But Josh, enough about me and my
damn gift card.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
But I want to ask you. I want to ask
you for one Woman show. Are you rehearsing right now?

Speaker 1 (09:50):
I did it already at the Lincoln Center. Yes, I
did it at the Lincoln Center. Oh my goodness, eight performances.
So shout out to Broadway performers. Do you have you're
a Broadway Yes, exactly, a couple of shows and see
how I segued back to you though you see what
I did there? Because Josh is about you today.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
The eight, No, I'm out of the eight. Do you
have a memory of one or two that stick out?
How was the How was the ride?

Speaker 1 (10:22):
The ride was? It was fear because it was a workshop.
So it was like the Lincoln Center doing a comedy series,
and it's something like they'd not done before at the
Clarete Theater. And so it was meant to be a
workshop for four comedians and Carmichael was one, Sam Jay
and I'm forgetting the other comedian but also an incredible comedian,

(10:46):
and so we got to workshop our material. I had
nothing written on the page, like ten days before at all,
not even an I had a nugget of an idea
I did, but I had nothing. And then to come
up with an hour of like how I can also
have fun as opposed to feeling like I'm fulfilling my

(11:07):
duties or completing an assignment. It was amazing to be like,
I learned what I could do in ten days. I
learned that I'm like, oh I could I really can
do anything out here, if I may say so myself.
It was really crazy. So it went very well and
the audiences were so loving and it was amazing the
energy every time, and the way I structured the show
is it got to it did get to be fun

(11:28):
for me, which was really important to me. So I
didn't feel stale in my performance because I love improv.
But I but you doing Broadway, though, how did you
handle rehearsals because I don't like rehearsals. I just don't
like doing repetitive things, of course, which is why I
think I like live TV and love improv, as I said,

(11:50):
and live performances in front of audiences where I'm like, oh,
I'm kind of now doing a little bit of stand
up and I'm kind of messing with you. And it
depends on who's in house tonight. So how did you
feel about How do you feel about rehearsal?

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Shout out to one of the best moments on television
when you go, Man, I'm sure you've talked about it,
but dude, just like shout out to you, Like.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
I was like, let's go, thank you, thank you. They
surprised me, but that's what I mean, they surprised. Appreciate
you the best.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
I love rehearsal, but I guess it's like that. It's
the part of the beasts, you know, like so so yeah,
like especially getting ready for a stage performance, you are
trying all right, So when we're on screen, right, which

(12:45):
we are, I can go to bed happy if that
day I tried everything that I wanted to try. So
if I if you know, let's say I'm doing a
scene that day and I'm trying to think of every
color I can I can I can bring out, And
if I get home and I feel like I've really

(13:05):
laid it all out there, I can sleep well. Okay,
if I feel like there was something left on the bone,
I'm going to beat myself up for a little bit
before bed, and then.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
You go to bed and you start again in the
next Okay, great, Okay.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
In the rehearsal period before a show, it's like a
four week period of just constantly trying stuff, constantly trying
it and trying and trying it. And then you know,
of course, with your with your with your back and
forth with your director and with your castmates, you're piecing
it all together. But there's always that last step of

(13:42):
when you get the audience in there, so then it
becomes the marriage of Okay, this is everything good we
found for thirty days. So now let's try to make
it that good every single night. And that is then
where you're you know, you're you're you're on the train
and you're prepping before that Wednesday two o'clock matinee, and

(14:05):
you know you didn't sleep well the night before, and
it's snowing. It's like January twelfth. You know, you just
went through the holiday craze, and you're walking up to
the theater and then everybody has their own moment. I'm
sure before we're you know, for me not to be cheesy,
but I figure as we go, we'll get cheesier. Oh dad,

(14:26):
you know what I'm saying. I'll talk about my mom
and dad later, and i'll talk about my wife. Boys
light up. But the truth is, you know, like I
saw my first broughtday show in eighth grade. I saw
The Phantom of the Opera and I waited at the
stage door after and I came back my junior year.
My dad brought me up for a trip and I
saw Take Me Out and I saw Wicked, and I
remember staying at the stage door Take Me Out and

(14:48):
just waiting for the actors to come out. And just
just white eyed and just being like, Okay, I feel
like I could do this. So then when it's my
turn and I'm walking to the theater, wh oh, you know,
if it's fifty people in the house, if it's two
thousand people in the house, there's got to be at
least one kid, there's got to be at least one

(15:08):
of me out there that it's their one trip. They
got Christmas tickets they got and they're allowed to come
to New York to see one show. So then you're
sitting there going like, all right, man, let's see what
this rehearsal period brought out of us. We've been in
the runnow for six months. You go back, you remember
what those days were, like, the funny things you found.
Now you know that this might work here, this might
work there. So you're just kind of marrying the two,

(15:30):
you know. But going back to the rehearsal of it all,
that's definitely where it just gets. It gets frantic and
ugly and beautiful and frenetic. And that's the fire, you know.
Like when I say at the end, like like you
go through the fire with these people, we always talk
about that's the fire. The fire starts in rehearsal.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah. See, now you have turned my point of view
on rehearsal. I'm like, no, but I know what you mean.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
No, No, I forgot you even said that.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
No, No, it's okay, No, you know, but I know
what you mean.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
The because that rehearsal period is it's just like I
will tell you this, you see, I want to ask
you more questions.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
See you made me think about that ten day period
where yeah, you didn't have anything down in ten days.
But it's different, right, because I'm sure it's different for
one woman's show. I've never done a one man show,
but you're bringing so much of your own life into it, right, Yes,
you've been preparing for it for all these years. Yes,
so I couldn't even imagine where you're gonna start with
the first pen to paper? How are you really going
to start a one woman show? Where do I begin

(16:28):
in telling this story? So that's why I could pester
you later for hours asking you questions about how that
process was. And so what was that rehearsal process?

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Well, yeah, well it was just I put down a
I put down. I had an idea of what I
wanted to talk about because I kind of was like,
I don't have anything to say, and just because someone
will give me stage time does not mean I need
to take the stage time. You know, you get to
a place in your career where people like, oh you
did ask and out like I'm gonna hear stage time

(16:56):
for you, And you know, before you get a moment
like SNL or that big if you will, you're vying
for stage time. You're trying to get in those independent productions,
You're trying to get stage time with your improv team.
And so I've gotten to a place where I'm like,
people want me to come perform, but just because you
want me to come perform, aside from my preferences, I'm like,

(17:17):
does not mean I need to be selfish and take
the stage time. Because do you have anything to say?
Is really the question. I was like, I don't know
that I have anything to say, and then I was like, well,
there's this thing that I think is interesting that to explore.
So it started there, this incredibly broad theme, so broad
it meant nothing when I'd say to people and they're like, okay,

(17:39):
that's a start, and then I the way I I
ide it is basically I just need to live my
life and these random ideas come to me and I
write them down in my phone and then like I
thread them together somehow. But I just had the opening
in my head and then like the next thing I
had was the next thing that came to me beyond
the broad idea was the opening, and like, oh, this
is fun, stage dark, and then this happens and then

(18:02):
I'd be like okay, and then what girl? And so
that's that's how. But truly not because I'm trying to
make you feel good your case for a rehearsal. It
does resonate in that because that show that One Woman showed,
this particular one was a workshop. It was meant to
be a workshop. They made an announcement before every show,
and I was like, please make the announcement because I'm

(18:24):
also a perfectionist, and I'm like, I'm gonna be fumbling
my way through this, and by the end, I was
like locked in, knew it like the back of my hand.
It's crazy that I surprised myself being like, oh, you
could do an hour of just you up here with
something you didn't have twenty days ago.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
I would say back, you could argue no, no, no,
the right word I want to be on your side
the same.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Okay, okay, piggyback, I'm.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Piggyback, thank you. I would say that that rehearsal process
is different than the rehearsal process that I was talking about, right,
because hearing you talk about your rehearsal process, Yeah, Like,
that's a whole different thing. Is coming up with said
performance and finding all these beats that not only are

(19:14):
you telling the story, but you're also wanting to make
a good show. So that is the most terrifying part
of rehearsing a show, is that all that stuff has
been done for me. All right, so I'm trying to
put certain clothes on now I'm trying to wear certain
shoes of this character. Yeah, So that rehearsal process is terrifying,

(19:35):
and you're getting all your insecurities out, and you're getting
all of your vulnerabilities out, and you're making terrible decisions
all with kind of this cake that's already been made.
So you're just trying it and trying it, and then
it's like week two you finally are like, oh, oh,
now I'm getting it a little bit. And then by
week three you're like, oh, now I got it, and

(19:56):
hopefully by the time you step into the theater you
have an u understanding of what you're wanting to do,
and then preview start. So I would say your rehearsal process,
that'd be tough for me too. That's tough for anybody
because it's different in creation. Rehearsal is different because that's
you're just jumping off the cliff every single day. Yeah yeah,

(20:17):
and some most days you're not gonna land very well. Yeah,
and you got to go in and do it again.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Huh.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
And you know that you have an opening day coming.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
People are going to be paying money to come see you.
Oh yeah. And I take that seriously, by the way,
I'm not phoning it in. I think it's so disrespectful
for people to have paid for tickets, traveled from wherever,
even if it's a college show, And I'm like, and
they traveled from their dorm rooms to the stadium to
see me. I'm like, what an honor that you've taken
the time out to come. I would like to give

(20:47):
you something. My hope is that I entertain you for
at least sixty seconds. I'm like, something I made, something
I do resonate you say your dad would bring you up,

(21:08):
by the way, is that from where? Where did you
grow up?

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Orlando?

Speaker 1 (21:11):
You grew up in Orlando, Florida boy, Florida boy. Okay,
I'm a Puerto.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Rican kid from Orlando.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
My parents graduated from pharmacy school in Puerto Rico. They
menton college and they moved to Florida after the job fair.
They were offering a couple extra books if you could
speak English. So my dad was born in the Bronx
and my mom wasn't speaking English at the time, so
they moved to Florida, had me over there, and yeah,
I was raised on rice.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
And beans, rice and beans in Florida. Do you have siblings?

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Got two younger siblings, my brother Danny, he's out in
Texas and my sister Becky's out in Jersey.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Shout out to that.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
Danny right now.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
Okay, that's dope. You're and they're the oldest. Then did
that feel like pressure for you in any way?

Speaker 2 (21:52):
Ooh? I now, looking back, maybe pressure just to feel
like I was a good kid parents like the oldest. Yeah,
like you want to be like a good son. So
I had that type of pressure, but I didn't know
it was pressure just now later on in my life.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Looking back, Okay, are you're the oldest of young I'm
the baby? Can't you tell I have the baby? I
got the baby vibe? And that's like, is it twofold?
It's like people are like, oh, I can tell you're
the baby, and they're like trying to insult me, and
I'm like, what can I say? Everybody took care of me.
I was everybody's baby, But that's it. Did you feel

(22:31):
like like and when I think of the oldest, I'm
like it. Oftentimes I feel like my siblings would say
as much. I have friends who are the oldest. They
felt sort of like surrogate parents to their younger siblings.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
Absolutely. Yeah, I'm six years older than my brother and
I'm nine years older than my sister. So I would
pick them up from school. I would take them to school.
You know. Once I got my license, my parents were
working a bunch. They're working, you know, forty fifty sixty
hours in the pharmacy, so just became something I was
an extension of them, for sure.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
My sister always cracks a joke because she was nine
and when I left for college. Yeah, so she's like,
I don't even know you bro.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
Well, that's how I was with my siblings. I'm like,
my oldest brother's eight years older than I am, and
I was like he and my sister was six and
a half, and they actually graduated high school at the
same time, and I'm like the youngest. But there was
some only child vibes too it as well, because they
were so much older, and I'm like, they went away
to college when I was seven, or they went to
college when I was seven. I was like, we're having
just different experiences here. It's very that that gap.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
When I met my wife, she would always laugh because
her younger brother they were both adults. But when we
started dating, my sister was still a teenager m hm.
She hadn't been around teenage energy in many years. So
we'd be, you know, on our fourth fifth day and
I'd get a call from my sister about some drama
with like her geology. It was always very fun.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Early on, amazing your dad bringing you up from Florida
to seat place? Was it because he was into the arts?
Are because he had a sense you were into the arts.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
He had a sense I was into the arts. So
the first time I came to New York was in
eighth grade our middle school. There's a teacher there, Missus Sherman.
Shout out to Missus Sherman. She for years before I
was even in the school, she would do a New
York trip for anybody that would accomplish a set of goals. So, yay,
certain things. So and then it was a big deal

(24:23):
going on this New York trip. So we took the train,
which took am track up from Orlando, which is most
of the fun was on the train.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
Yeah, yeah, that's fun. How long is that right by
the way.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
I don't remember a long time where we slept on
the train, so I remember the kids like sleeping up
in the luggage racks, and we had an old car
to ourselves. And funnily enough, we stayed. I didn't things
that I put together later on when I moved to
New York. My favorite pizza place is in Hell's Kitchen,
and it's a little hole in the wall spot, but
it's because we stayed at this hotel on tenth Avenue

(24:56):
and fiftieth Street over there, and before the trip was over,
we hadn't had any New York pizza, and my dad
went and got a slice for us, got a big
old pie brought it to the boys later on. That's
saying Pizza Place was the one I would go to
and be like, I don't know why this pizza is
so amazing, but this is New York pizza to me.
And I moved into that apartment and it was like
months later. I remember always having deja vu walking around,

(25:18):
walking around, and then it just hit me. I was like,
this is the hotel called Buddy was like, what was
that hotel? Put all the pieces together. So we came
up in eighth grade and then my it was either
junior or senior year. To be honest, I can't remember,
but it was something on the lines where I knew
then that I wanted to go to college up here.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
To me, it's just you know, I graduated high school
in four so I feel like it was around then
that remember when the Olsen twins applied to NYU.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yes, it was.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
Like a big deal because that was like you started
hearing about dream schools.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Uh huh. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
So I was in Thespians in high school. You know Thespians.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
I know what a Thespian is, but I don't know
what thespians it's it is a club, So it's a
club you can join.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
But in Florida, Thespian competition is a really big deal.
So it's nationwide, but I think Florida has like the
biggest one.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
I have everything everything in Florida.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
Many.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, So we.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Had a thespian competition. There was a big deal, and
like everybody cared very deeply about it. But it was
just like anything else, like a like a course competition.
You would go and you would get judged superior, excellent,
such and such, such and such or whatever. Yeah, you know,
and and that's where the dream school conversation started. So
when we would go to thespian competition, you'd go to state,

(26:36):
and at State they would have scholarship auditions. So that
was the first time I ever heard about NCSA and
Carnegie Mellon and all these schools you know that kids
were fine to go to. But to me, it was
always in New York or nowhere. Like I was either going
to go to school in Florida because we had bright
futures down there, and you know, they have really good
programs down there. But I don't know, there's just something
about seeing New York and my dad being from the Bronx,

(26:57):
and you know, I love that snasy kid, you know,
like being in you know, being in New York was
the dream. So Dad brought me up here to come
look at it, and uh and it was you know,
a few day trips. We went and saw Perfect Crime.
You ever seen that little show over there. It's like
the longest running show off Broadway. He has been going
for like forty years now. I think it's the same. Well,

(27:19):
it's it's a cool little show. Swallow black Box. We
saw that, and then we saw Take Me Out, we
saw Wicked, and and he just knew, he knew I
had this, you know. And you know, thank you to
my pop and thank you to my mom because they
have never in my life even made an eye roll

(27:42):
or like a moment of making me feel like pursuing
my dream wasn't something I could do, you know, like
like like not even you sure, not a like maybe
something else, not a It was just always like acting, Okay, acting,
We're gonna do acting, okay, And I want to go

(28:02):
to the school in New York and and and they've
got a good acting program. Okay. Cool. And they went
and they took out a really big loan to send
me to college. I didn't even know who Sally made was.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
Oh that girl, I just cussed her out.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
On Okay, So that's exactly.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
I still don't know who she is, but I don't whoever.
But at the same time, she did help fund it's
complicated relationship with Sally.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Complicated relationship with Sally. So you know, it's it's right.
It's funny how we get as we get older, you
start realizing all these smaller things that were happening when
we were younger, and so, yeah, shout out to dad
for for coming up with me on that trip, and
shout out to them for just maybe a little naivete
on their part in our family.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah, it's like, oh yeah, whatever, that sounds good.

Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah yeah, and the rest was history.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
That's incredible. That's really beautiful. To have their support from
Jump and to just have it be unequivocal and unwavering.
That makes so much of a difference that you didn't
have any doubt from them, because I feel like this
career will cause you to doubt yourself anyway, and so
we don't need anyone around us being like it's not
going to happen for you. It's not possible. But they

(29:11):
were also pharmacist. So this is, like you said, there's
a bit of naivete required. There's a naivete required on
your part to think you can make it a delusion,
which is great, but you do need that, right, Like
numbers are the odds are not in your favor, but
just having them come from a different background in terms

(29:33):
of profession, did at any point it become difficult for
your dad to offer you advice or is there any
sort of advice that he did give you career wise
that was applicable for you? Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
It's funny because I would go to my dad for
certain pieces of advice, and I'd go to.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
My mom for certain pieces, okad My mom was always
really good about, like really visceral emotions, like Mom, I'm
mad about this. Mom, I'm heartbroken about this.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Mom, this feels weird. How do I navigate this? Whereas
my dad I would go to for like stories, Dad,
tell me about when you were this age, tell me
how you made this jump. But I also think now

(30:36):
you got me thinking about this. Please, Because growing up
my dad was real quiet. He talks more now because
he's retired.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
I'm not talking at work, educate me on stuff.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
My dad was real quiet, but like a really strong presence,
really loving, really warm. Like my memories of my dad
are like on the couch and him like rubbing my head.
And you don't realize how important that is until you're
grown and you're wondering why it means so much that
someone's like rubbing your shoulder, your head.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yes, is that one of your love languages? Physical? Is
it the number one?

Speaker 2 (31:13):
Probably? Probably? Probably, just like yeah, one hundred percent, one
hundred percent. I'm a mix of that in words of affirmation,
But even words sometimes can't get lost because I'm too
caught up in my own brain. So sometimes I just
need my wife had like that, tell me and we
could keep on going and I'll wake up tomorrow in

(31:34):
a different mood. But my mom, my mom has always
been the most beautiful character, Like she'll make people just
laugh and crack up, and she ain't trying to just
telling stories. But with that comes the idea that she
was always with us every step of the way, you know,
like and ride or die is my mom, you know,

(31:58):
Like I'll tell you even now, she's so funny because
like she'll get caught up and like she was like, no,
because if they didn't support my son before, but I
don't want them to support him now.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
And I'm like, nobody was mean to me, Like everybody
supported me.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
My whole life is nobody was.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
Everything was pretty good, you know, like to her, you
don't remember when you said you're going to school, I'm right,
You're right, Okay, And now I got my own boys.
I know what she means.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
You know them their whole life. Yes, and you peep
things that they might not peep. That's it.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
So mom, she's been protecting us.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
And and they have a really you know, my parents
have been together now forty something years and they've got
a really special thing. And that was always something that
I was watching and admiring and now in my in
my life, trying to emulate.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Beautiful. I love you loved love. You saw love you
love love you wanted you wanted that love, So then
you and your How did you meet?

Speaker 2 (33:01):
We met at a birthday party at UH at my
boy Jermaine's birthday.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
Shout out to Jermaine shouting everybody else's.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Let's go yeah, yeah, shout to my boy. We met
at a bar in Hell's Kitchen.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
Hell's Kitchen is very meet.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
I was there for a lot of years. It's very poor.
A lot of New York.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
Memberies where I lived when I first moved here, kind
of a little too close to port authority.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
I was see. I was a little further away. I
was on tenth over there.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
I was at thirty ninth and between eighth and ninth right.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Oh, yeah, by the cake boss.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yes, yes, yeah, I was.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
I was in it and snippers.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
Uh huh, yes, I know all the I'm forgetting the
name of the Italian spot right by me. But Hell's Kitchen.
It was my whole New York when I got it.
But Germanica Hell's Kitchen walked in, I met Brace.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
He introduced us. Her name is Brace, like a bracelet.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
That's a beautiful name.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
It is. It was a grandmother's name. Ok gave it
to Kepta in the family. And then now it's my
youngest son. His name is Bo. He's bow Brace Cigare.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
That as a good name.

Speaker 2 (34:04):
Yeah, that's our guy.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
That's shout out to him as well.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Okay, shout out to baby both.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Okay, by the way, if you shout it out both,
I'm so sorry. If you shout it up. But you
gotta shout out the other kids.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
Oh absolutely, will let's shut the boy Hank and with
my oldest Hank is my middle and Bow is the baby.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Okay, okay, the cigare brother Okay. Beautiful.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
So we met at a birthday party. Uh. She in
her words, I'll tell it as if she was here.
She had dated eighty versions of me before. She was
not trying to date me again.

Speaker 1 (34:34):
What were you? What is this version called?

Speaker 2 (34:37):
She would say, she's dated eighty actor boys before. And
I was twenty four and she was thirty when we
were man, that's my puma.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
So so so we didn't know each other's age.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
She got to mold you so exactly. What's the key, ladies?
I got to mold them.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
What are you talking about with al? About the bones?

Speaker 1 (34:56):
Oh that's yeah, the bone. The bones.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
Everything else was a mess. Yeah, the bones. The bones there, okay?
And we Jermaine actually introduced us, say hey, that's my
friend Josh, and she was like uh huh and kept
hanging out. Yeah, she was about to leave. And I
do remember seeing it like the lights and the angels,
and I remember seeing her the very first time but

(35:20):
she was about to leave, and we hadn't talked the
whole night, and I was there for about an hour.
But she's about to leave.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
So you were peeping the whole time, the whole time,
and so you see she's about to leave here like
shoot shot.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
She's OK because she was having fun, so I didn't
want to come and starting so but she is leaving.
So now I'm like, man, I got to talk to her.
So I go up to her and I say, hey,
where are you going? And she was the master. She
was a dancer in her career, actress, but she was
also the master of the odd job as we all are.

(35:50):
Oh yeah, she has forty different guys make ends me
and she's like, yeah, I'm working tomorrow for she was
she was registering people for like a mattress convention. She
was working at a mattress company.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
I've done strange things, okay, very expensive, nice match okay, yes,
that's I've had very object exactly mattress.

Speaker 2 (36:15):
I have to register people for this mattress convention. And
I said, you work in the mattress industry. She's like, no,
I have to. I was like, so you can get
a nice man.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
Did you think that was okay. Yeah, I was trying
to You're like, okay, matt bed bed I was like.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
I was like, I was like, so you work with
the mattresses, you get a nice She's like, no, I
don't work it. I was like, yeah, but you can't
leave because what if we're supposed to get married one day?

Speaker 1 (36:36):
Josh went right for I just got a chair.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
Okay, okay, so she swears, and I've had people tell
me like, there's no way that was the first time
you said it to somebody. Yeah, but I really feel
like it was. There was I don't know what my
confidence was that day. Maybe there was just like a
level of like I'm just going to go to ten

(37:02):
and she scoffed or one of those or she's like
what say that to everybody? And I was like no,
but you know, we ain't even talked.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
We chatted for five minutes and I was basically busting
the balls, being like I just think you're leaving and
you don't want to talk to me, and she's like, no,
did I really have to get up at like five
in the morning. I was like, all right, well, I'm
going to give you my number and you text me
when you wake up, because I don't believe you got
to wake up at five. She was like, okay, dude,
next morning, five am, bing bing good morning. Oh wow,

(37:40):
I said, good morning to you.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
This was on a Tuesday, and I remember it because
I said I was an unemployed actor at the time. Right,
let's hang out tonight, And she said, no, I'm busy.
I said, well, let's hang.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Up to also woke up at five am. I'm like
just trying to hang out.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
But I was all right, great, so let's go. So
let's hang out tomorrow. She said, I'm also busy, like
you're busy, okay, And she said I'm free Saturday, Saturday day.
And I was like, you're free Saturday day the night
so I knew. I was like, all right, she's testing.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
I was teaching spin at the time. Okay, gold Gym
on fifty fourth and eight. Wow, I was one of
my eye jobs.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
All right.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
So once again, like if Bracelet was sitting right here,
she would tell you that. So she's like, all right,
I love spin. I'll come meet to your spin class
and then we'll go out. After I said great, Wow,
she was thinking I'm gonna test this man his spin class,
like if he sucks, yeah, if you play music I
don't like. Yeah, she was testing me. Yeah, I knew

(38:37):
my spin class was dope.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
Okay, you had good music? Did your classes sell out
or wow spot?

Speaker 2 (38:45):
Okay? So I had to give up my bike wow Spin.
That day she arrives, She's like, there's ten people waiting
outside fighting for bikes. I walk in and Josh is
up there. He puts me right at the front with
my best friend Patrick. My boys carved out of stone
six three beautiful Okay. I put him right in front.

(39:06):
I put her right in front, and the class.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Went very apparently it did because.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
And we can eat at Southern Hospitality after. That's where
she found out I was twenty four and she went
what And I said, yeah, how old are you? She's like,
I'm thirty.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
I was like you're thirty yeah, like yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
The people next to us for giggling definitely, seeing like
all these are in their first day. Yeah, and I
this was Saturday day, remember, So I was like, hey,
we can go to the bar next door. She gave
me and watched a little bit of a football game
with me. She kept talking about how she had plans
that night with friends I came to find out these
were not plans with friends.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
It was another day the guy's bed for a few
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Oh, she hadn't been dating another guy for a couple
of weeks, but her words, she wasn't quite sure where
that was so she needed to see that through, which
I respect one hundred percent. At the time, I didn't know. Yeah,
So I took her to the train, kissed her in
front of the bill a bong okay, second shout out,
shout out, okay.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
Okay, that's another thanks.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Uh. We split ways. Oh and before we left that
night on Saturday, I said, yea, hang out tomorrow. She's like,
I'm busy. I was like, you're not busy. It's Sunday. Like,
I know, you're not busy. She's like yeah. But and
then kind to find out, you know, she was dating
finance guys that would you know, maybe text once a
week or you know, they could fly around places, they
could take a really nice expensive places. I couldn't do anything.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
I was texting every day I was available. That's by
the way, y'all don't understand just how much of a
difference that made My heart was open, heart open good bones.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
I showed up.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
You gotta give them a chance. So that was it.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
So funnily enough, one of her best friends, uh, Tiffany
said to me, She's like, I never brace has never
had a guy be as loving towards her like you.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
And and but I'll be also honest, I don't like
this term love bombing, okay, okay, because some times it
carries a negative connotations. Most times it does. But I
will say that that was my style. Like I was
in love on a Monday and probably out of love

(41:17):
on like a Saturday, Like I really felt hard that
Monday Saturday.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
But five what is that? Six days of love?

Speaker 2 (41:26):
It?

Speaker 1 (41:26):
No, that's not love.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
You're so real every time?

Speaker 1 (41:32):
Really did you then feel heartbreak? Though?

Speaker 2 (41:35):
Every time heartbreak like I do. Feel like it was
my way of like just trying to navigate, Like okay,
it wasn't even thought through, to be honest, because there
were many times where it ended in complete catastrophe where
I was loving and they're like, bro, you're a lot.
You're right, I'm a lot. My bad, And then I

(41:58):
was left a care picking up the pieces. So that
definitely happened many times. But there was something about and
This is what I'll say to any of my boys
or anybody wants to talk about it, is that there
is something funny because like for Brace, she would tell
you that she was the opposite, but she was so
used to not texting or like a date every two weeks,

(42:20):
that maybe she needed a little bit of change of scenery.
And for someone like me, I needed her being older
than I was, forgiving some shortcomings that I had and
also building up this twenty four year old insecure little boy.
You know, like you know the little things that we
have to go through, Like it's hard to explain to somebody,

(42:42):
and that's not in our business. What having a bad
audition feels like and why you're like mentally, just.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
The rest of the day, day is over. We need
to get into a new day. Once you have a
bad audition, so disoriented.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Like you can put up, you can put on whatever
mask you want in front of somebody knew, and you
could be hanging out for six days and then on
that six they have a bad audition, all of a
sudden they see a part of you that they're like, oh,
I didn't know this guy was in there, But that
part is me too. And for her, for Brace, I'll
forever remember. You know, I don't remember specific instances, but

(43:24):
I do remember like early on, I never met anybody
like her. You know, that's my one of one, my
one of zero, because for her, it was that perfect
cocktail where you know it was met her of twenty
four right. So I was like starting to test a
little bit. I wasn't getting it. I was starting to
get on planes. I was right there. But that's hard

(43:46):
to explain to somebody that doesn't our business. And she
knew our business intimately, and she was leaving the business. Okay,
so she wanted nothing to do with it. Yeah, you
know that dancer life is so hard on the biole,
being a pro athlete. So she was transitioning and here
I come and she's telling me like, no, dude, you're
killing it. Yes, oh but I didn't get this. I
didn't know, dude, you're killing it. So going back to

(44:08):
my parents, having that safety net is somebody that like
really believes in you. And like I was thinking about
that too, like who do I want to think? Like,
you know, it's like I can really think like that
handful of people. No, it's bigger than a handful. I
would say in your lifetime, really think about it, like

(44:30):
maybe like twenty people that like really believed in you,
that like and that it's just that faith in you
is such a skill that then we have to teach
ourselves like faith like belief delusion. How do we continuously
do it? Man? It helped so much to have Brace,

(44:51):
help so much to have my parents, to have my
high school drama teacher, Missus Mueller, to have Missus Sherman
in eighth grade take all these kids up to New
York just to show them what New York City is,
you know, expand there that's it. Let's get on the
train and let's go. You know. So three kids later, three.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
Kids, but we skipped we skipped something. Okay, okay, So
how did you know Brace was the one?

Speaker 2 (45:15):
It was?

Speaker 1 (45:15):
It the belief in you and the understanding It sounds
like obviously so much of it was so right, And
you guys sound so aligned from the way you describe
it and even the way you I mean, just I
love hearing you describe meeting Race and how she impacted
you at a pivotal time in your life as you
were pursuing this career. But what moment do you feel

(45:37):
like you were like, this person is the one for me?
Was there a moment where you felt that?

Speaker 2 (45:44):
There wasn't a moment, but I will say that it
was like the good thing about the way that I am,
but the way I dated was that I do feel
like it was one of those things where if if
something doesn't feel right to me, it's hard for me
to fake it. So it goes with I'm one of

(46:08):
those cats that I trust first until like until you
break my trust, got it and then you'll probably never
get it back ever again.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
But I respect that right.

Speaker 2 (46:19):
So it's just one of and I've definitely broken that rule.
You can get it back, but that's that's my My
core is thatine and it's like protective in a way.
So when it came to finding the one right you're
it's you're constantly opening your heart up to people, but
the second you feel like it's getting toyed with or

(46:42):
it doesn't feel right, you shut off. And with brace,
I don't know, just never shut off. Like like even
my boys, like you know, in their words, it was like, man,
if you're with her for six months, we'll throw you
a party. We got six and we didn't really even
talk about it. Well, if you get to a year,
we'll throw you a yeah. And we got to the year.

(47:03):
And now we've been together, married eleven twelve and been
together fourteen fifteen. And but it was but I want
to give a real answer, it was like, it was
like there were times. You know, there are times where
I don't mind being the center of attention, okay, but
there are also times where I do like to hide.

(47:26):
And I would find that there were certain relationships that
I was in where if I decided to be center
of attention that day, I could be punished for it,
or if I decided to hide that day, I could
be punished for it. Well, not even punished, but you
know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
I know what you mean. It's sure, of course you'll
pay for this at some point.

Speaker 2 (47:43):
With Brace, I never had any of those like we
just every type of scenario would come in contact with.
I just always loved the grace in which she moved around.
I love the way she treated people. I love the
way that she handles herself. You know that, my Angelo,
that my Angelou quote like, happiness is liking yourself, liking

(48:06):
what you do, and liking the way you go about it.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Oh wow, yeah, yeah, yeah, I haven't. I don't know
that one. I thought you were gonna say. People remember
and I forget what you do, I forget what you say,
how you made them feel. So but repeat this, my angel.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
Happiness is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking
the way you go about it.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
M that's good. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
So I would then throw that into relationships, Like, Dude,
I just liked her. I liked what she did, and
I like the way she went about it. Wow, you know,
like she was just everything to me. She is, you know,
and I will tell you this. As relationships grow, of course,
we're both changing all the time, and you know, they're

(48:45):
talking about you're changing as you grow and you're growing
together and you're growing, and dude, the mom that she is,
I'm just so impressed by and like I'm just so
like lucky that I have her in my life and
lucky that she's letting me be a part of her
life because we still are two adults in this thing
and we're just trying to make it, you know. So
now we've got our little boys, and I would like

(49:09):
to think that I had the like, the foresight to
be like, she's going to be a good mom. She's
going to be a good partner. But all it was
was the smaller moments, those little things, how to treating
each other in public. If if I was emotional, she
understood it. If I was mad about something that somebody

(49:31):
else might tell me is foolish, she understood it. There
were times where I needed to be built up. She
built me up. There were times I need to be
brought down. She'd bring me down. And those those are
things you can't force somebody into. That's that magic thing
that just happens. And that's that's how I think I knew.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
What a gift, truly, what a gift?

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Yeah, I'm lucky. I am lucky.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Yeah, And you sound and seem to me so emotionally attuned,
and I and that's not so surprising that an actor
might be emotionally attuned. But which parent of yours? Where
did you do you feel? I mean, you describe both
your parents, but which parent of yours do you think
was more reflective of that? It sounds like maybe your mom,

(50:17):
But yeah, I'm yeah, it's just such a.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
Probably my mom my mom was, because my mom was
much I'm a lot like my mom My mom My
mom could fly to handle rightfully. So she just worked
fourteen hours at the pharmacy. She comes home and we
got like leftover milk in the bowl from our cereal,
like just a giant mess. But then I remember her

(50:41):
never ever letting us go to bed without like coming
in and kissing us on the head and telling us
how that she was sorry, or like sorry for yelling yeah,
or like telling us how much she loved us. So
she was always very She's just much more emotional. But
my dad has this really he's really empathetic, both of

(51:05):
them are, but but there's something about the quietness of
my dad's empathy where it was always really reassuring and
like he just you know, like he was a pharmacist,
work in a full time pharmacy job, but then he
also was part of like organizations where he would go
speak and like educating the community in Orlando about like

(51:28):
where they can get meds at and how they can
get healthcare. And and then at church, he was our
church accountant for just like a full on another career.
And I remember, I guess not too long ago, I
was like, but then you don't even have accounting in
your background. He's like, yeah, but I know math, and
like a lot of people at church, didn't have anybody

(51:49):
to help them with it. So my dad would just
be doing people's taxes for free. Wow, like thirty people's
taxes from art, that's.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Not a lot of time.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
So I remember one time I was a kid, I
was four or five ish, it was before we moved
out of my first house. There were some kids on
the street I was playing with and we're running around,
runing around, and I remember one of the younger kids,
me and my buddy Matt shut the door.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
On him and Nick was crying outside the door, and
my dad very calmly, never raised his voice at us,
walked over and was like hey, looked me right in
the eyes, and he was like, you never ever leave
any of your friends behind. And that's just it's this
this printed memory.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
That I have of him that, yeah, that's him in
a nutshell, you know, Like he never said too much,
but he was always there, always there, and my mom
was always there just bringing us up, lifting us up.
They just had a really cool little balance with it.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
Yeah, and even the notion that she would apologize, that
she would apologize for yelling me like I had a
long day, I feel like a lot of adults don't
feel they need to do that to their children, is apologize.
I was like, this is my kingdom. Are you living
in it?

Speaker 2 (53:20):
Right?

Speaker 1 (53:22):
Are you like that with your kids? I'm so fascinated
you embrace you are also you reflect I am.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
I think I think so much about my parents with
my own boys. So my old this is nine, my
middle guy is six, and my youngest is three, and
I find myself apologizing sometimes, you know, but like I
feel like it's funny you said, like my mom was
ahead of the curve, you know, like talk to us
like adults. My mom was never like she would apologize

(53:49):
to us. She would explain things to us. She would
say why certain things mattered and why we need to
do this, and not that. It was always conversations with mama.
So I find myself thinking a lot about both of
them when it comes to my boys, you know, like
right now I'm trying to they're fighting a lot, as
brothers do. So even just this morning, I said to him,

(54:11):
I was like, hey, I know you guys fight, but
you still love each other and it's still best friends, right,
And my aldy was like, yeah, Dad, come on, my friends.
But we're brothers. You're right, You're right. I don't want
to take that away from you.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
I want to make sure the same.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
Yeah, we don't know the deal here, right. You can fight,
you can pick, but in public is each other's backs.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
For life, unified front, a unified front.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
So one hundred percent. I try to talk to them
like little men and try to be as honest with them,
as honest as honest with them as I can, and
probably the most probably the most what am I trying
to say here, the hardest thing to explain to them
is probably the most important to me, which is funnily enough,

(55:01):
when I'm having bad days because of our work.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Oh yeah, right, because our work's supposed to be just fun.
You're just fun and perform I mean, you make people
laugh or you make people feel like yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
So it is a funny thing when I'm in a
bad mood one day and I'm taking it out of
them for no reason, and I find myself sometimes I'm
short with them, and later on in the day I
will say to them like, hey, sorry, boys, you know,
Dada is just sad today because there was a part

(55:32):
I wanted and I didn't get it, and my oldest.
It was very wise. One day he said to me,
he's like, Daddy, are you okay today? And the guitar
was down. I was like, I'm okay, ba bye.

Speaker 3 (55:44):
You know.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
I was a little sad, maybe maybe crowd a little bit.
I was like, I'm okay, by bye. I just really
wanted this thing and it didn't go my way. And
you know, and he's like an acting thing and I
was like, yeah, an acting thing. He's like, but Daddy,
you're already an actor. And I was like, it's very profound.
I'm so sad about this.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
Yeah, you know, you're right, I am.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
An actor already. I guess it's your you know.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
He could tell he's going really deep with it, and
he was just like, bro, you all right, Dad, Yeah,
you know, my friends already think you're an actor. You know.
I don't think you need to worry that you did it.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
You did it.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
Yeah, it's all alive.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
It's all It's funny. My mom. Back when I was
auditioning for main stage and my friends and I coming
up in IMPROVM, We're like, okay, we want to get
on the main stage at UCB Theater and get on
a herald team. When those auditions came around once a year.
One year, some of us made it, some friends did not.
And I'm telling my mom back home. I just called her.
I was like, yeah, these two friends are really sad

(56:45):
about not making the main stage at UCB Theater. And
my mom was like, but you guys don't get paid
to do that. I was like, you're right, and I'm
reminder that. She was like, you don't get paid though, right,
And she like, so tell them they're okay. I'm like, yeah, yeah,
it's not. She's like, they're tell them they're okay.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
Reminders of the things that, yeah, forget yes, yes, and
your son in that moment being like, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
He is a wise soul. Dad, you're an actor. We're stranger. Yeah, good,
you're not. It's all good. I love that, I love
I love that he had the ability to do that.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
Now, we were talking about industry stuff right before we started,
and I am curious about this firing people. How do
you handle it? How is it? How? Yes, how do
you handle it? Because sometimes we have to fire people
in this industry too.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
Yes, and it come on, I mean, I haven't had
to do it in a long time, so I have
had to fire people, oh man. But even thinking about it,
like it sucks, It just sucks because you know, in
our in our world, you're you're brought up. We're just

(58:06):
grinding for so long, and we're taught to say yes
to everything, and we're taught that, like the gig is,
you do anything that comes your way right, and then
you get to a place where somebody wants to represent you,
and you go you want to represent.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
Goodness finally, and then.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
Somewhere along the way something happens or changes and for
your business, we gotta make the right decisions for us,
and we are the head.

Speaker 1 (58:40):
Of our way at the boss, the CEO of.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
That's what. That's what they say. It doesn't you know,
you know, I'm not I'm saying this less to you
and more to the people that that watch your pod
and listen to your pod. It's like, yeah, in our world,
they're tell us all the time that we're the boss.
But it doesn't feel like that.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
Doesn't always, No, doesn't, It really doesn't.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
It doesn't because you have these people that believe in
you and represent you, and they're the ones out there.
They are the connection between us and the work. So
it's a weird feeling when you're like, man, I don't
know if that person that is the connector is right
for me. So it's tough. It's like any relationship doesn't

(59:28):
mean that they're bad or you're bad. It's just oil
and water.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
Just does it make oil and water? And if you
had to pick if your oil or water, which one
are you saying?

Speaker 2 (59:35):
I would like to be water.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
I'm water for sure, So we are kind of saying oil,
you are bad. Water is a little superior to oil.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
If you ask me exactly, Water is consistent.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
Water is giving us life. I mean, we are made
up of mostly water. We need to be consuming more
of it every day. I'm saying I'm water, you're oil.

Speaker 2 (59:59):
I will say that my my entire dream was definitely
molded by Entourage because I came up so I would
have to look it up, but I'm sure it's the years.
I know it is the years while I was in
college because we would watch on Sunday nights. So like,
I really was looking for an E, right, So, and

(01:00:22):
E is specific. That's not every manager in the world.
So I had other managers that weren't E, but I
needed an E. And what I mean by that is
that I was just looking for somebody that was going
to be my best friend and also my manager. And
I have that now with my guy Andrew. That's my brother.
We're going about together. We've been in many battles together

(01:00:44):
and we'll have many more to go. But that's what
I was looking for. That's also because we're close friends.
He's at my wedding, he knows me, intimately, knows my family.
So I was chasing that. I was chasing that picture.
And you know, I've had amazing managers that just they
weren't eight, you know, and they were looking for their
thing and I was looking for mine. And it sucks.
When it sucks, I remember it like it was yesterday,

(01:01:07):
and I got a lot of love for them. And
and I will say though too, like relationships, but maybe
with less heartbreak. It's like a chapter in your life,
you know. And like I needed my managers that I
had before, and you know, like I won't bore anybody
with the details, but like I really didn't need them.
They introduced me to a lot of people, and they
got me a lot of good jobs and a lot

(01:01:29):
of jobs that helped me build and help me learn,
and my first couple managers, like, I did not know
what type actor I was. I had some terrible auditions,
I'd some embarrassing auditions, right, and I was just trying
to be whatever this business wanted me to be. And
they were with me throughout those years, and so I
really am so gracious to them. And then I'll say that, like,

(01:01:52):
how did I know Andrew was the one? He came
along and he was the first one to start talking
to me, like about stuff that was five ten years ahead.
And I was never forced to think like that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
Like goals, like let's talk long term.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
Goal talk long He's like, what game are we playing here? Bro? Yeah,
He's like, if you want to go play this game,
I'm not your guy, right, And I remember him saying
that to me. He's like, if you want to play this,
we ain't gonna hang it hang out after.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Its kind of nice when someone says to you, by
the way, I'm ready to walk away right now. Let
me tell you why. Just in general, and like someone
is so confident and clear and align with themselves, They're like,
let me tell you what you're gonna get here, and
if this doesn't work for you, you should leave now.
Yeahm enticing.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
It's exactly it. I remember, you know, at the time,
I wasn't working. I was trying to figure out where
and I was like, man, you know, you know, I've
done a couple of little things here and there, and
I was like, but I need a job. And he's like, so,
go get a job. I was like, yeah, but I mean, like, like,
I want like an acting job. He's like, well, you
ain't getting an acting job right now, a regular job.
I was like, oh right, He's like, yeah, go get

(01:03:01):
a job. And I was like, oh, no, one's ever
really said that to me like that. I guess I'm
going to go get a job.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
Yeah, of course I go.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
Get the job. In six weeks, two months later, I
get an active right. But I needed him, yeah, to
be like, bro, whatever, who cares is you're thinking you
ain't that serious?

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
Just go do this.

Speaker 2 (01:03:18):
And he's very good about that. I can get caught
up in the minute shaft stuff. I can get caught
up in the how does it feel? And he's very
much like, dude, who cares how it feels? This is
what's happening, is what we need to do, and this
is where we need to be. Yeah, And I really
needed that and I needed it from him, from his energy.
And that's why we are too.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
Like it just works. It just works, all right, Josh,
it's amazing. All that is cool, But it's time for
a segment called that's nice about what about me? Okay, okay, Okay,
here's what's going on. You live in Jersey. Now, you
left the big city, left it. How do you know
when it's time? How do you know when it's time
to leave the big cities? Because I'm LA New York,

(01:03:59):
I'm from bottom, But I'm like, how do you know
when it's time to go? You know what? That pace
or I need more space? Tell me?

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
Yeah? That for for for us, it was definitely the
third kid. Uh. We are flag bearers for raising kids
in the city. We loved it. Strap those, strap them on,
and let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
You guys are carrying the stroller down the subway stairs.

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
Okay, So that is when I knew. Okay, one kid
in a stroller easy, m the double stroller a little harder, okay.
And when we had the double stroller with the kick
pad underneath. Okay, I'm talking, every restaurant looks at you
funny because now you're walking into restaurants, and you're like, hey,

(01:04:48):
can we put this by the by the hostess stand.
We ain't fitting escalated by the hostess stand.

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
Brod a stroller stands, it's a hostess stand exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
We started feeling the city looking at us a little different.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
Get out of here.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
Yeah, like, bro, you win one to fall with the
four of you. Our booths fit four people nicely, but
maybe the third. So and with what we do we
had bo bracelet had bo and I left two weeks
later to Atlanta, and I went down to Atlanta for
four months. So she had a three year old, a

(01:05:29):
six year old, a dog, and a newborn in our
apartment in Long Island City that we loved and she
loves being a New York City mom.

Speaker 1 (01:05:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
She actually was the one having a harder time deciding
if we're going to go to the birds or not.
I was ready to rock. And then when I came
back after that winter, this was January I left, she
looked at me and she said, yeah, we could do this.

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
It's one thing about New York winter. It'll make things
very clear for you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
By the way, putting in the jacket and the booties
on our dog to go out four times day, walking
the boys to school every day in the in the
frigid wind tunnels our city, those things start to shift
a little bit. And and and the other side of
it too, is that because even with all that, we

(01:06:16):
were still trying to make it work, and we're looking
out of place to get and we're like, all right,
maybe we'll get the four bedroom, which really aren't that
there aren't that many. You're just thinking that once again,
it's not built like that. Year. Then as you do
get as we go on our journey in life, like
the tentacles I had connected to the city started to

(01:06:36):
become less and less.

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
Other people moved to, other.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
People moved to And also once we started having our kids' lives,
they started to create their own tentacles. So our tentacles
became their tentacles. So that changed. It's like, you know, oh,
I wasn't doing the same thing. I wasn't playing softball
four nights out of the week anymore by choice because
I couldn't tear anything. But also, yeah, like life changed

(01:07:01):
a little bit. Yeah, so it was ao things was like, oh,
I guess I I don't I guess I'm not relying
on certain things as much anymore. Now, I'm actually seeking
something else out for this chapter in my life. Yeah,
and uh so for this little chapter that we're in.
We found a perfect place for us. And I love carpools,
and I love my you know, school school dad hangs

(01:07:23):
and going to basketball games. But I will say that
we're gonna be out there, We're gonna raise these kids,
We're gonna have a good time, and we'll probably end
up moving back. Got a little spot on the Upper
West Side. Two old people, drink coffee at the diner
in the morning, go to talkbacks at the YMC on
Friday night. I love it, go see a show a week.

Speaker 1 (01:07:42):
Yes, you might have kicked us out in New York,
but we'll be back exactly. Yeah, I'll come back and
see you at the Hostess and then what I'll deal
with you then exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
Okay, remember this and I'll get my mom on you
and your mom does not remember remember when you throw
my Buffy is on?

Speaker 1 (01:08:03):
Oh man, Okay. I love that. That is so clear
to me, because honestly, when I do see the parents
walking around the city, I'm like, you are the realist.
You are the realist in the film. Truly, I'm like
with me and my dog. I'm like, this is already
a lot. I leave my gloves when he's due for
a walk. My dog wants to walk. I have to
take him out to pee, of course, right he wants

(01:08:23):
to I'm like, okay, let's get out there. Let's make
this quick. You handle your business. We'll be back inside
in two minutes. He's like, I'm not tripping, and he's like,
I want to smell every mound of snow. I might
be here. No I'm not. It's really crazy. It's crazy energy,
and I'm like, bro, we need to get back inside.
I can't imagine the kids, the dog, the boots, the stroller.

(01:08:44):
I get tired in New York truly, even just like
having to put layers on, and today with all my
running around taking layers off, I'm like, this is exhaust
and it's just me anyway, thank you. That is helpful.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
But I will tell you I could never I could
never leave this place. It's like, you know, even when
we were looking, it was like, oh did we go
West Coast? And I love my time in LA Every
time I get to work out there, we love it.
But yeah, I love being where we're at right outside
the city I get to come in and hang with you. Yeah,
it's I still very this This city is very much
a part of me, and it's you know, it's part
of where I grew up. You know, I came here

(01:09:18):
at eighteen. So it's it's so the thing we can't
explain to people that don't know it. There's just about
the city that that I love, bringing my boys too
and having them interact with and they love. We're getting
on the training going. So it was tough to leave.
It was tough, but it wasn't a breakup. It was
a yall see list See, we're taking a break, taking
a little break.

Speaker 1 (01:09:38):
This is a real break, a healthy break, so I
can come back and appreciate you. You can appreciate me.

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
That's exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:09:43):
It's no problem exactly. You guys are seeing other people
right now.

Speaker 2 (01:09:46):
That's exactly all right.

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
We have to help a listener as well. Okay, so Kevin,
we're ready to hear this.

Speaker 5 (01:09:54):
Hey, hey go and he goes guessed. My name is Zach,
and my question is how do you go about handling
all of life's little chores. It feels like they are
never ending, and every time you get done doing the dishes,
or you get done doing laundry, or you get done

(01:10:17):
going to the CBS. You have to go ahead and
do it immediately. It's constant maintenance and it's exhausting. And
I was wondering if you both had any tips and
or tricks on how you go about maintaining.

Speaker 2 (01:10:38):
All the little chores in life. Thanks so much, Bye.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
Gosh, What're you gonna tell them? That was Zach, I
have thoughts.

Speaker 2 (01:10:49):
I was gonna say, what are your thoughts?

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
I feel that so deeply. You just heard me complaining
about putting coats on multiple jackets on in the winter.
I feel that so deeply because I will wash my
dishes and be like, ah, satisfied, Finally I cleaned up
the kitchen finally, and then it's like, oh shit, but
I gotta eat again. Oh I gotta eat again in
like two hours. I'll sometimes wait as long as I

(01:11:11):
can to eat again because I'm like, I don't want
to create a mess. I'm so satisfied that I finally cleaned.
That feels like my headspace has cleared up because it's
cleaned the kitchen and now you're telling me I gotta
eat again. Who set this up?

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
Like? Who?

Speaker 1 (01:11:27):
Set this up. So I was selling a friend who
was over recently and I was saying this to her.
I was like, I just washed the dishes, but then
I had to eat again. And she was like, I buy,
and this is I'm not telling you to do this, sack.
I'm not telling you to do this sack. She was like,
I buy, she said, I buy the nice little disposable
plates from TJ Max.

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:46):
She was like, she goes, they're cute, and I use
them and I put them in the bus. She's like,
I throw it away, and so I'm not mad at it,
but it is wasteful if we want to talk about
the environment big picture. Same with laundry is damn near, Like,
can I turn this underwear inside out?

Speaker 2 (01:12:04):
So come up?

Speaker 1 (01:12:05):
You're like, you absolutely cant. That's your official stance. The
underwear can go with side. Yes, I'm like, we have
to because you know what, if you're gonna use a
plastic plate, which is waste, while you're gonna throw it away,
you can make up work by doing a reverse underwear situation,
less water being used.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
Correct.

Speaker 1 (01:12:24):
So it's about ballance.

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
I like that ballance.

Speaker 1 (01:12:26):
I don't know, but I feel it Zach, I haven't
cracked the code, so I don't know what Josh, what
we would tell him.

Speaker 2 (01:12:32):
I like that. I think it's like being I feel
like it's striking a balance and like trying to find
whatever balance it like, it is true, like how do
we so I feel like we just have to write,
Like all these little things that we have to do,
we just have to because if we don't, right then
it becomes like that thing that's piling on and piling on,

(01:12:53):
it becomes more stressful for us. So we just have to.
But how do we then enjoy that? Having two of
it all is? I guess the.

Speaker 1 (01:13:04):
And not make it. It can feel like such a
huge part of life. That's where it's supposed to be.
Me folding my clothes.

Speaker 2 (01:13:11):
I'm happy it is when I'm doing the task and
I feel like I'm accomplishing them.

Speaker 1 (01:13:17):
M okay, Like.

Speaker 2 (01:13:18):
If I'm in the right frame of mind and I
clean a little bit and it feels good after, I'm
just happiest. I don't know, that's not advice to Zach.
I'm just talking about my experience with the little things
that I feel like when I have a couple of
little things that I needed to get done that day.
And I'm not a list person. I'm like a mental
list person. I feel like I crossed them all off
and they went well. Then I sleep good. You know,

(01:13:41):
So how do we do it? I don't know, Zach
me and you have to talk about this more. But
where it's balanced, it's like, you know, if it ain't
us it's going to do it, who will do it? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
You then who? If not, you're going to be living
in fields. But I like, but also like what you
said about crossing things off the list. I don't think
it's good for me to keep in mind because I
have a lot on this mental list. It's actually stressing
me out day to day and I'm like, you should
really get it out of your head ache and put
on a page. But maybe there's like get it, have
your mental list or your written list and gamify it.

(01:14:14):
Maybe you can make a way to find joy in
these things is to like gamify it. Because I like
what you're saying about joy and it's like cross it off.
You cross these three things off that you were meant
to do today. How could you maybe.

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
Reward yourself after correct there's.

Speaker 1 (01:14:27):
Joy in the crossing things off. There is a satisfaction
in that, and then how can you, maybe you say,
after I do these five things, I get to do
this thing. Yeah myself, Yes, a little trade off.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
It's all about that. My sister just said it to me.
It's all about reframing. So, like, the thing that I'm
thinking about right now is shoveling snow. Everyone keeps asking
me how it's been to shovel snow, but they're asking
me with the tone of it sucks to shovel, right,
But I'm so new to shoveling snow that I'm still
enjoying the shoveling of it all. Oh well, yeah, so

(01:14:59):
I'm natural in a different frame of mind when I
feel myself framing the other way in about five, six,
seven years, when I'm gonna hate shoveling the snow, I'm
gonna try to remember this feeling. Yeah, yeah, Bignobrol, you
didn't always feel this way. Remember when you really liked it,
when you thought about the core workout that's so good
after and you feel like you were helping your family.
I'm going to try to hold on to that. Maybe

(01:15:21):
that's it, Zach. Try to remember the task that you hate.
Remember a time in your life when you loved it, Yes,
and go back to that.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
Yes, And I'm going to just add to that. And
if there was not a time when you loved it,
maybe you can count some of those tasks as self love. Yeah,
taking care of yourself, and that's important. You're setting a
standard for yourself. I'm a person who does clean their home,
the person who does the dishes. I do my laundry,
I call the doctor when I need to call the doctor.
I pay these bills. And this is the standard for

(01:15:51):
my life. And I'm this is self love and I
want that then reflected back to me and my other relationships.
Am I oprah now or what.

Speaker 2 (01:16:00):
Just gonna say? I'm very happy with what we came
up with.

Speaker 1 (01:16:01):
Me too.

Speaker 2 (01:16:02):
I was worried that we were gonna give anything. I
had nothing to say to him, yes, other than like, man,
just do his act.

Speaker 1 (01:16:08):
I don't know what to tell you, bro, like if
you don't do it, it's gonna suck later.

Speaker 2 (01:16:11):
But now I feel like we got there.

Speaker 1 (01:16:13):
We got it between the two of us. The listeners,
all right, take something up on the fly. We are
satisfied with our answer, is Zach hard to say? We
may never know, but I'm proud of us. Thank you,
very proud of us so much. I appreciate you. Thank
you for being here because it was delightful. Appreciate you.

Speaker 2 (01:16:30):
I really appreciate it. This was so fun.

Speaker 1 (01:16:32):
Thank you all right, Okay we had to take a picture.

Speaker 2 (01:16:35):
Thank you, Bud.

Speaker 1 (01:16:36):
I appreciate it. Okay, that was my incredible discussion. I
just love Josh, Josh Segata incredible, so grateful for his time,
for the heart he brought to that conversation and the

(01:16:57):
fact that we were able to give our listener we
deemed good advice. I mean, honestly, it is up to
Zach if Zach happens to think the advice is good.
But it seems that Josh and I have decided it's
a yes. But if you want advice from me and
my next guest, call us, call us and leave us
a voice message. The number is five zero two eight

(01:17:17):
four nine three two three seven five zero two. Thanks THHX.
Dad's da DS. We want to give advice that we
think is good and hopefully is helpful to you. Thanks Dad.
Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and
iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host, Ago Wodem our producer is
Kevin Bartelt, and our executive producer is Matt Appadaka.

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