Zoe Lister-Jones

This week on Thanks Dad, Ego sits down with actress and director Zoe Lister-Jones! To start, Zoe thanks producer Alix Madigan for encouraging her to direct. Ego and Zoe chat about resisting the urge to be perfect, dating after a divorce, and their conflict/attachment styles. They also dive into walking in LA, being an only child, and when you know a relationship is over.

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Good morning America. Wow. Okay, she did an intro for you. Okay,
because that's protocol. Yeah, I'm here. Yeah, and this is serious.
My next guest is an actress, actor, actress, whatever, no
preference here, writer and director who you can see in

(00:29):
their new Peacock series The Miniature Wife, but also slip yep,
this is Zoe Lister Jones. There we go. Okay, Hello America,
Hello America. How are you today.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
I'm good today. I'm happy to be here.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
I'm so happy you're here. Yeah, we have to begin
the process. Well we've begun with an intro, but now
we have the next step of the process is me
asking who or what do you want to say?

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Thanks to Hmmm, Well, I was thinking about this. There's
a woman named Alex Madigan. She's a and I was
acting and writing and producing, but I was afraid to direct.
And she out of nowhere just like invited me to
lunch and she said, I think you should direct. And
that's why I started directing. And it's like those little
moments that really can change the course of a life. Yeah,

(01:16):
so shout out to Alice, Shout out to Alex Alex.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yeah, oh my goodness, that is incredible because I feel
like I get in my own way. A good amount
of times people I've like pitched before and the people
have been like, do you want to direct? And I'm like,
one day, but not someone else a real part.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Okay, well then this is this moment for you. Okay,
and then you can thank me on the podcast. Okay,
you should direct.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
I should just do it.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
You gotta just go.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Do it, because go for it. Yes, all right, okay,
I'll be reaching out, yes, yes, for guidance and wisdom.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
I do think women especially feel like they have to
be absolutely perfect at something before doing it, and you don't.
You could.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
I guess my mind is blown, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean it's true though. I think I hold myself
to a very high standard, and I think that's the
same for basically any woman that I know. And then
we know that our counterparts are not necessarily holding themselves
to the same standards, and it's.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Fine, and.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
You just go for it. I don't know why. I
know it's I know better than to think like, hey,
you should get you should perfect this thing before you
do it. I know better. But it's interesting how that
instinct still like craps up.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
And I think especially with something like directing, like you know,
because it there's like technical things and all of these
things that if you didn't go to film school or
whatever is in your head that's stopping you. It's also
like such a community of people who are there to
build you up. So you have like other people who
do know that kind of stuff that can help you.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Okay, yeah, because that's what I'm gonna call you and
I'll be there. Blessing, You're a blessing. What was your
first time directing?

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Like, Okay, so my first movie that I directed, it
was movie called band Aid with Adam Pally, your dear friend,
and he sent his leve also I told him I
was coming on and I decided to make it with
an all female crew. So it was a really amazing

(03:18):
experience and a total unicorn of an experience. But I
was just like, what would that feel like like Having
been in front of the camera prior to that, you know,
I just saw like how male dominated crews were, and
I saw how, you know, sometimes that could impact you know,
like a woman's confidence behind the camera. And I also

(03:42):
was just like, I think that if you don't for
me at that time, if you don't actually say like
it has to be all or nothing that it just
you just fall into the same trap because the like
system is so broken, you know what I mean that
like even my female cinematographer or my female productive are
not going to out, but even like department heads who

(04:05):
were like such bad asses would be like, but I
want to use my dude, you know who I've worked
with for ten years. And that's how it all kind
of so I just also wanted to give women opportunities
who wouldn't get them otherwise because of that kind of
cyclical nature, the thing of the gatekeeping, even though it's unconscious.
So that was an amazing first time to direct. Yeah, Yeah,

(04:26):
in short, I loved it. Yeah, And and Adam Pally
was oftentimes the only man on set.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
I was going to ask how many other men in
front of camera?

Speaker 2 (04:36):
But in front of camera it was him and Fred Armison.
We were in It's a musical. We were in a band,
and Adam and I play a husband and wife who
can't stop fighting, and we turn all of our fights
into songs.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Oh that's nice. Yeah, I have to watch. Yeah, way
to diffuse conflict. But I know, did it work for that?
Couple like I need to go.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Watch I know. No spoiler, it does work for that couple.
I haven't really tried it, I r L but so
jury's out. But I do think I was like trying
to make very oke catch on. Yeah, you know because
as professional singers like you and I, you know, as
people got off tour literally perfect pitch. Yeah, we we

(05:22):
would know. Yeah, absolutely the power of song.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
Of course, it's in me. Yes, I've been gifted with
the ability to sing. Yeah, Ria and I we are
the same.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yes, And going on tour and going.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
On tour on tour, and I'm doing all my own
singing and all my own dancing. The people have a
body doubles.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Just like your head, and then a different body my
own king, your own stunts on stage.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah wow wow. Imagine me a real professional. I wouldn't
pay for that tour if I was the public, so
I would. It would be bad. It's bad, it would
be bad. Respectfully. What's your uh conflict style? Because their
yoke does sound powerful today in real life?

Speaker 2 (06:06):
My conflict style?

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yeah, you can give it a cool name, you know.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Oh, okay, okay, chaotic kaot no. I like I'm now
so therapized that I really I sort of like go
into conflict being like I got this, but then I
lose it, you know, like I go and be like,
so when you said this thing to me earlier, it
made me feel this type of way. And then if

(06:32):
it goes at if the person responds at all differently
than I want them to, I'm like, beast.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Mo, Yeah you know, let's throw the sup down.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yeah yeah, that therapist actually was completely wrong and we're
just gonna go gloves off.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Okay. I love how imperfect that is, because that's I mean,
the therapy I love to I also love to be
like I know how to handle I know how to
handle conflicts, and yeah, this thing happened. I feel yes
to to I statement, that's right, that's right, but it's
not what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
And then and then just a little bit after the
eye statement, you go you.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
And then you go and get you. I'm ready, I'll
tell you. But now you and you and this is
going to be a long I mean, fair enough is
it working for you?

Speaker 2 (07:22):
No?

Speaker 1 (07:22):
No? So okay to be over therapized because I've heard
other friends say this and I have also been like, yeah, friend,
you might be over therapized, I might be under therapized,
I might be medium therapized, to be over how do
you rectify this? Do you take a break from therapy.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
One would hope, But me myself, I'm still going doubled down. No,
I mean I actually do think that I have learned
a lot, so I was. I do think I'm getting better,
So I think the therapy is working, and I think
also I'm really My big thing this year is to
take very little personally.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
Liberating. Let me tell you that is liberation nation. Do
you read self help books?

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Not as much as I You would think that I would.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yes, it's giving it, giving helps giving something. But that's
no judgment because I read. I can't say I read
a lot of them. I think about a lot of them.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
You think about them, you think about reading them.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
I just reread the Four Agreements over. No, but the
Four Agreements is in my purse right now in the
other room, right I just finished the don't take anything personally?
Is that one of the four that's the second agreement
is don't take anything personally. Be impeccable with your word.
Love that two, don't take anything personally. Three, never make assumptions.
Love that like ever and four always try your best

(08:50):
and never more. I haven't gotten to this, I haven't
reread this section just yet, but it is I do remember.
It's like, never more than your best. You only can
do your best. So when you try to, when you
say I'm give one hundred and ten percent, don't do that.
Don't give one hundred and ten. And honestly, I'm a
little curious these days about the like eighty twenty rule,
like eighty give eighty percent and leave twenty percent.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
It's a new rule.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
It's I think it's an old rule, but I am
newly acquainted with it.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
And it's like, don't you can get more for trying less?
Do you like that?

Speaker 2 (09:22):
I actually am obsessed with it. Yeah, I'm addicted to
eighty twenty now. Yeah, because perfectionism is also like I
feel like, steeped and self loathing.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
So when you're going one hundred and ten, even one
hundred even one might say yeah, in these current times, yeah,
it's too much.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
It's too much, Yeah, eighty eighty and then you get
more for less, Yeah, exactly, like a bargain. It's a
bargain because you're doing too much. I have been known
to do too much. Yes, and so I like the notion. Yesh,
what's your side a virgo? Your virgo perfection? Yes, that's
what I know about Virgos.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
What's your sign?

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Pisces?

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Okay, and I know nothing about.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
That sensitive dreamers? Okay?

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Are we? We just had a piscy something.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Because it was pie season. But I don't know what
it means. Yeah, like in terms of like, because I
think they would be like, it's a Piscey's moon and
Virgo enters Venus and Serena and.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Serena, and I feel like every meme I see is
just like it's about to get really bad. Yeah, like okay, okay,
everything other planets mean it's very bad.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Are you into taro at all?

Speaker 2 (10:33):
I love to have my taro red, really, And actually
I go to a tattoo artist who sometimes I'll just say,
just like, pop a card out there and we'll just
do whatever's on the card.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Oh really, are you covered in tattoos?

Speaker 2 (10:46):
I have little ones me too?

Speaker 1 (10:48):
How many?

Speaker 2 (10:49):
I don't know actually, roughly.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Give or take did o kiddo?

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Really?

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Wait? Where are they? They're all they're little. I was
on my way here and I was like, I think
I'll go get one today. Really, I'm not kidding. Yeah,
it's fun. Well, I when I first got my first tattoo,
it was the year twenty twenty one, my birth Do
you remember that year?

Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (11:14):
Okay, yeah, good year for you, bad year for you.
It was the world. When's the last good year you had?
What's the last good year? Because I feel like it's just, oh.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
My god, couldn't tell you? Actually, no, no, I mean
every year. You know, we contain multitudes within these years.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Years.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
But twenty twenty one we went into lockdown.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Twenty twenty were twenty twenty.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
We were locked in twenty twenty and so twenty twenty
one we were sort of deep in it.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
We were twenty twenty one. We were coming out a
little bit. We were in it. We were in it,
but it was like we're kind of stepping out.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
Okay, Okay, here's okay. Then, Actually I'd like to revise
my statement, okay please. Twenty twenty one, I liked, what
do I care? When we came out of locked one
eighty Yes, okay, I'm chaotic. When we came out of lockdown.
When we were easing out of lockdown, I came to
New York because I lived in La Okay, and the

(12:08):
streets were alive. There were like these outdoor dance parties
like in Fort Green Park and like on like street corners,
like almost like flash mobs of like a truck would
just show up with a speaker and everyone's like, we're alive.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
It was so Yeah, it was like.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
A moment in time in New York that I don't
know that we'll ever get again.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
Yeah. That was special. That was very very very special time.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
Yes, But but I digress. Okay, twenty twenty one, we have.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
We have all the time to digress as many times
as you need and want. This is this is about you.
But twenty twenty one, I got my first two tattoos.
And then I was like, and I'll never I was like,
I'm just getting the two. I know I've heard their
addictive I heard I heard, but not for me, of course.
And then I got two and then I was like, well,
now I want a third. Yeah. And then and then

(12:56):
we're like at twenty now and today and then counting. Well,
I thought I'd stop at twenty because it's like a
nice cute even number, but I feel like stop at
eighty will stop at eighty, And that means when I'm
eighty and I'm actually covered up to my neck and
it's they stop being small and they're big. But the
thing is that I it's at a certain point one

(13:18):
I was like very thoughtful about them. That was the
first phase of my tattoo life. Very thoughtful. Everything's going
to have meaning. And then I got into like, okay,
it doesn't have to. We can like I can get
to the shop and be like, oh I liked this poem,
and so how about this? And then and then it
got to like we just I'm here for fun. Yeah, yeah,

(13:39):
because some of them are bad. Now, yeah, you ever
get bad. I don't have regrets, which is nice because
I'm a perfectionist. So I think for me the tattoo
is what I find enjoyable is that I'm like, oh,
this sort of gets me out of my perfectionism, and
I understand that this body is temporary anyway, and it
doesn't matter not to get to no die. Yeah, we're

(14:01):
all gonna die. We're all You're one day closer to
death every day.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
And it's not a beautiful thing.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
It is kind of hopefully liberated.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
It is no I agree with you. Once I I
got my first tattoo, I got two horse shoes like
tram stamps when I was twenty one, and then never
went back until I was like in my mid thirties. Yeah,
and it was around COVID times I listened things opened

(14:29):
up for me. Yeah, because I think it was like
a moment was like none of this is like, this
is all so finite.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, let's live.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah, and then I just I went for it. And
that feeling of like I don't know what I'm gonna
get pull the tarot car, yeah, is so not my personality.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
That's my thing. Yes, I'm also a little more of
a control freak, so to be like, uh yeah, just
let's let's walk in and do whatever and draw me
some things. Oh y'all get that one is so unlike me.
So I get that very much. Do you think you
are still in a fashion that is like we're all
gonna die? And the same liberation you were feeling perhaps

(15:05):
in twenty twenty one has followed you into two six
to six.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
I mean twenty twenty one was interesting because I was
exiting a very long relationship and so I had a
sort of there was like there were many. It was
a compounded like I was partying. Let me okay, I
was really going going opened up, opened up? O good,
I mean, and so I was. I don't think I'm there.

(15:35):
I think that I've sort of found a balance now
where I still agree life is finite and we must live,
but I've sort of also I'm enjoying like a quieter
period in my life.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Oh good.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah, and that feels also feels.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
Nice, nice, Okay, but.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
I do want to dance and like cover my body
in tattoos and you know, like go buck while there's.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Time, there's time, there's but there's time for that. There's time.
You'll go through another season. I think that where you're
vibing in that way, Yeah, getting out of a relationship
that is long, hard one heartbreak is impossible. Yes, it
was that your first big, big breakup.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
I mean, my heart is just such a tender little guy.
So like I feel like even before I was in
a relationship, my heart was broken. Like people were like, wait,
what you know, Like when I was in high school,
I was like I was in love with you, and
they're like, I have passed you in the hallway. But
this was a long this was a marriage and it
was like a very long time and we worked together

(16:36):
and so yeah, it definitely took time. And then after that,
I think I sort of entered into like an adolescence,
you know, like a new adolescence in my thirties, cause
I had been booed up for so long. Yeah that
then I got my heart broken because then I was
like like a new like newly born in the world

(16:58):
of dating, which.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
Is like, it's a job, will help us, that's a jungle.
I do have a few friends who, in experiencing divorce,
entered the dating scene and were like, what's going on here?
This is not this is different different.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, And I had never been on an app and
I still haven't. I'm now I've remarried, so so I
shouldn't be honest any of.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
Those please call somebody account or is it? Yes?

Speaker 2 (17:28):
But but just like that dating is weird. Me was crazy,
and I was also exploring my queerness for the first
time in my life, and so like it was a
whole new frontier.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
Okay, LJ okayz the LJ whole new frontier. Will you
read a book about it? Please?

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Love for me is the hundred agreements one.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Hundred agreements I made in twenty twenty one that are
following me even now. How do are you reserve done
a first date? When you were going on first dates?
Are you more reserved or are you doing a lot
of talking? Charming?

Speaker 2 (18:09):
Silences are difficult for me, So I do feel them
talking charming? I think I yeah, I think I actually
am funnily like alpha when I date.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, the director comes, the director.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Comes out like I am sliding into the d MS.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
I was again again, Zoe, he is married.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
D but I was like I was, And that's how
I met my my partner.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
I slid a slid led to marriage. Okay, that's a
modern love story, it is. Can I ask what your
slide said?

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Okay, So my partner directed a movie and I watched
it and I didn't know who he was at the time,
and I was like, who directed this? And then I
looked at his Instagram and then I followed. Okay, so
we start.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
Was it a day time follow or an evening followed midday?

Speaker 2 (19:11):
The time stamps unclear of times?

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Okay, Okay, I'm just trying to paint.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
But I appreciate this journalist think I am a journalist.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
I know that I know a lot of other podcasters
saying there, I am a journalist, correct, but okay, because
I do think like I've been on someone's Instagram late
and been like I can't follow now I gotta come
back to morning. Yeah, yes, yeah, okay, so we don't
know the timestap.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
Okay, I think it was daytime.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
Then I got to follow back and then I and
then I slid, so I'm not I'm not crazy working
into into the but and then I slid and I
said that I love the movie okay, and then he
said he loved band Aid and yeah. So then it
was like this sweet like mutual admiration club. Yes, and

(19:58):
then we were like let's try and like find a
time to hang. And it wasn't actually like it wasn't.
It wasn't a full slide like I was like, I'm
interested in this person as a human being. I wasn't.
I was also had gotten out of like being like
a baby queer is a hellscape, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Tell me about it.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
You get none a mic, it's fucked up, and you
are like, so I had been. I had my heart broken.
I was like in these like very like messy things
and so I wasn't like who's next, Like I was
a little like I just want a friend.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Friend.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
And then I was like traveling and and then we
ended up just randomly meeting at a gay bar, like
just like fate put us there, and so then and
it was very cute, okay, and then it all happens.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
And then it all happened. Did you think he was
cute when you sent the first DM? Was it like
leve your work and in your mind you're like, misk
is cute.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
I did think he was cute, okay. But I also
again was sort of in like a swamp of my
own making that I didn't even know what I was
doing out there. There was a lack of intention. Sure,
but I did think he was cute, okay. And I
was like, yeah, I was, I was. I get talent crushes, Yeah,

(21:22):
for sure too. So I thought he was physically cute.
And I was also like talent crushing.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
Talent crushing. I think talent crush trump's anything physical attraction crush,
because I'm like talent crush. It's that's deep, it's deep,
it's deep early, it's deep.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Early, and when the opposite, if someone's hot, no talent.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
That's gotta be a one and done and that's the
one that's gonna have to be nice to meet you.
And that's where that ends. Can I guess your attachment style? Yes,

(22:06):
based on I'm gonna guess anxiously direct. Have you read
that book it's very self helped red Attacked.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
I've read Attacked.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
I walked past a guy at silver Lake Park reading Attached,
laying on his back, no blanket, I'm remembering unattached. Yeah,
he's secure, just reading Attached, and I thought, good for him.
But I read it and I but you know, every
time I took the test, I would be like it

(22:37):
says I'm secure, but because I know how to like cheat. Okay, okay, okay.
Have you ever taken the test?

Speaker 2 (22:43):
I didn't take the test. I got to through half
of it and I was like, fuck this. I don't
want to be this is suppressing. I don't want to
be in this dance. But I do think, well, wait
are you so? Do you know what you are?

Speaker 1 (22:54):
Anctious? I'm gonna have differently when it's anxious.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
French people are hot. Yes, but I will say, and
probably this is true for you. I do feel like
I can be very avoidant in me too stands and
I have been the avoidant in certain relationship.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
It's interesting when does your avoidance crop out, Like what
is circumstances.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
I'm feeling like too smothered or or like someone likes
me too much too early?

Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yeah, I like.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Need a good long runway. And I'm actually a little
more avoidant in the beginning stages of a relationship. And
then once I'm like I can trust you that, I'm
like I need all of you.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
You know, that's messed up. Once you're finally feeling safe
and connected, oh man, and then you're like, okay, cool,
I can be I can be me and wide open.
And then it's like, well, now you're doing too much.
It's a tough dance being in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
It's tough.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
It's a that's a challenging dance, depending on types there.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
Depending on types. But learn a lot about yourself the
mirror of a relationship. I'm always like, I do think
it's good to dive in because every relationship you learned
so much. Yeah, even though on the other end it
can be a disaster.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Truly, Yeah, it could be brutally Statista, are your parents
still together? No, you say it like a girl. What
do you mean whose parents? Is anyone in here? His
parents still together? Oh? Brag, brag's actually mine? Yeah, he's fine.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
No, my parents split up when I was nine. Okay,
wait are your parents still to of course not, of
course not.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
Then did you live with one parent? Primarily?

Speaker 2 (24:57):
I did a crazy thing talk about like I was
like a very parentified child, and I chose to switch
off every other night with my parents when they split
up because I wanted to make sure that my dad
was okay, oh my god. And it was so untenable
and I did it for so long and I just

(25:19):
like traumatized myself, like nobody was asking me to do that,
and I was like, I got this.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
You guys, Yeah, I know what to do.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
I know exactly you. You need me and you need me.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
Yeah. Are you an only child? Oh okay, well then
that makes more sense, dude, yes, in that Okay, So
how long did you do it? Do you remember?

Speaker 2 (25:38):
I did it from like nine to like thirteen, like
also important.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Years, really formative year formative.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah, ooh, so that was chicky.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
I'm sure kudos, brut we're calling it. How many How
did you decide at the end of that four years,
like I don't want to do this anymore, and and
where did you decide to kind of plant?

Speaker 2 (26:05):
I planned it with my mom. Okay, both my parents
are artists, and I grew up in Brooklyn, and so
it was like my dad like moved into like some ramshackle,
like it was not a place for living. He was like,
this is my studio. And then there was like a
food time thought. So I think after a while, like

(26:27):
my mom was like, you know, you don't like have
to And and also I will say my dad started
dating his now wife, who's like a wonderful, lovely, caring person,
and I think in my twisted, little like kid mind,
I was like, okay, he has like someone to care
for him. Now, oh wow, it's really like if you

(26:48):
think too hard about it, you will cry. So please
not you, but myself. I'm like, I it's so sad
because I'm like, no, that was a grown man, like
you didn't need to take that off.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, do you know why you might have taken it on?
What made you do that?

Speaker 2 (27:04):
Can I tell you something?

Speaker 1 (27:05):
You can?

Speaker 2 (27:06):
I pity men. I do and I have from a
young age, and one cannot explain it except for like
I remember even as a child, I would see a
man eating alone in a restaurant. I would be like
moved to tears because I'd be like, someone, go help
that man, Like I think I've always felt that that

(27:29):
they need help. Yeah, and so, and my mom is
like such a like og like second wave feminist too.
So it's interesting because she was like, let them do
it on the boat. Yeah. I was like no, no, no, no, no,
I will tie their shoes. I will serve them. So

(27:50):
I don't know what it was, but yeah, I think
I just had some weird instinct of like if.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
You're from me, from you, from from you, my goodness.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
Yeah, And my my mom was like very strong and
like strong willed. And my dad was orphaned at a
very young age and then went to viet Like he
didn't go to Vietnam, but he was in the rotc
and his job was like to knock on people's doors

(28:22):
and tell them that their loved ones were dead. Oh
and then when he got called Vietnam, he deserted and
went to Canada and that's where he met my mom.
But I think, like I knew his story and I
was like, he doesn't have family, you know, like I
think I felt the loneliness of that, like I was, Yeah,

(28:42):
I guess I was like a little baby EmPATH and
I was like, well, I'm his family, so let me
go do that. But again, yeah, giving one hundred and
ten percent, baby girl could have been given thirty thirty.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Five, nine years old. She deserves, she deserves. But that
is very sweet. Yeah, and I'm sure he appreciated. Yeah,
appreciated it, That is my goodness. That's tough, and I
think of that with only children sometimes this the pressure,
especially as their parents' age, actually to show up for
them and there's no one to share in that responsibility necessarily.

(29:19):
I'm one of four friends. There's many of us being
it up that we tap out and take weeks. But
did you enjoy being an only child when you were younger?

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Well, I will say this, like I do have two
half sisters because I lived in Canada, so they came
a little bit. And I remember when my one of
them came to visit. I was like so excited, like
I wanted a sister, and she was like I hate
you get no, but you know it was like adolescent.

(29:49):
She was older than me, and yeah, and I was like,
can I bring you to show and talent. She was like, bitch, no,
bring me to show. Yeah, my dolly. So I don't
I actually think I wanted siblings, And I think being

(30:10):
an only child you do grow up faster. And the
way that my parents rolled, like I was just always
at adult events and at the adult tables. So and
also Brooklyn, like at that time it was it was
like pretty rough and tumble, So I didn't really get
like when I look at my partner has two sisters
and and I look at their bond, and I'm like,

(30:32):
I'm jealous of it.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
Yeah, it's it is nice having siblings, and it's but
also there are the cons of having siblings very stages
of life. Yes, yes, when you're an only child, I
imagine it's like they are just focused on me, not
that as a young person I need. I needed to
know that my mom, who raised me, it was only

(30:55):
focused on me. But I'm like, there's so much for
you to do here between taking care of yourself and
taking care of the four of us, and so our
time is limited in its own way, and especially because
she was a single mom. So you know what's nice
is that your partner now has two sisters that you
can kind of yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Texted me like, my partner went away for work and
one of his sisters texted me like come over like
and I was like really and she was like, yeah,
you're my s I l and I like had to
google it. I was like, oh my god, sister in law.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
Sister, you didn't know what it was.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Of course, I'm not like that. I don't come from that.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
I don't know these like like acronyms, You're like, get
them out of here. No, okay, I'm learning. I do
know the acronyms now.

Speaker 2 (31:44):
But I do remember back in the day when I
I was like I was sleeping with somebody. I was
so into him. This is like in my early twenties,
and he was like being really flirty. One night we
were no it was like so off and on and
I was like so thirsty. And when he was leap,

(32:05):
when I was leaving, I was like okay bye, like
in front of the group people, and he was like okay,
k I t And you know, my ass turned around
and said what.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Sorry, what's that?

Speaker 2 (32:14):
I say, what's that?

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Definition?

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Please?

Speaker 1 (32:16):
And but also keep in touch also funk off. Yeah,
we just hooked up, and you talking about keeping touch okay, hi,
and he said, the onus is on you to contact
me because I have no intention of contacting you. And
it's going to be a casual year book. K I T.
That's right, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
It was actually crazy.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
My last lovely you like this? Yes, I just had
sex with me?

Speaker 2 (32:45):
K I T S I.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
L S I L my last Okay. Well, you know what,
we all did wild things in our twenties. I mean
I didn't, but other people didn't know. I was. I was.
I was. I was just so I was like a
workhorse who was like I have to achieve my goals.
And so I lived in La all of my twenties

(33:09):
and I just was like I have to work. And
even people are like, you want to go out, and
I'm like, no, going out. It's for people who have
achieved success.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
But I can well.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
Also, I think LA is an easy place to be busy. Yes,
but you're not actually doing anything. Yeah, brunch and hikes
and meet up with this rent And I love it. Yes,
I go. When I go to La, I go to
a particular street I shan'n't name right now, just because
I'm like, we don't have to say the street. But
I go to a particular street maybe four times a day,
just to be like, God, I'm ucha in the morning,

(33:38):
I'm back on said street, mosy around being like do
I want a baked good? Oh, there's a pet store?

Speaker 2 (33:46):
Can you walk to said street from your home?

Speaker 1 (33:48):
I could, but I'd be embarrassed. Okay, it's too far,
it's but it's not. It's it's not New York too far.
It's La too far.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yes, you know what is like block?

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yes, I used to drive one block in La to
go to the grocery store. And one could say, oh, yeah,
because you're picking up a lot of things. Of course
you need the car. No, it would be like two things,
because you just don't walk there. No, I don't. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
The first time I went to La, I like was
in this movie as like a local hire and I
was absolutely not a local higher. So I slept on
my friend's couch and I didn't have a car, and
so I like went to Whole Foods one day, and
I remember like, just like a New Yorker like walking
with my groceries down the street for maybe twenty minutes.
People were like actively concerned.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Yes, they were like, that's what it is you want
to Yes, You're like, is she okay? That something must
be wrong with this person has unwell? This is an
unwell person. Does she have ma'am? Do you have someone
could call for you? Totally? I'm fine, totally. Yeah. It
feels very strange walking there. I know I have a pet.
Sorry I do. Okay, waitit you were gonna tell.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
Me, no, I was gonna say, when I come to
New York. Yeah, I'm looking like seventeen to twenty thousand
steps a day because I have to. I have to
get it in and I go back.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
You're not step in.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
No, I'm not stepping pedal to.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
The metal and we're driving. That's lad. Well you have
a pet. You have a pet.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
I have a dog, a dog, yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
So walking the dog must be nice then in LA
yeah nice protection It's like I'm walking the dog, you see.
That's why I'm not in a car.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
Yes, yes, And where I live though, I'm like walkable
to a hike, but there's no sidewalk, and so when
I have tried to do that because it would be
so nice to walk to a hike, that's like really
next level yeah yeah, yeah, but you have to sort
of like Frogger like on an active like thoroughfare. Yeah, yeah,

(35:40):
and it is very dangerous my dog. So I do
I take him? I like take him in the car
for like one block, oh hike.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
And then does he ride in a carrier or just
kind of a big boy. He's big.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
He's like seventy five pounds.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Oh my big. And my reaction to like, you birthed
him and he's seventy five and natural person, you've been
ripped to rip smitherines.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Yes, yes, k I T O K T.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
Wow. Okay. Have you always been a pet person?

Speaker 2 (36:16):
I had cats growing up, okay. And then when I
was in my twenties again around this chaotic time, I
decided to like share a puppy with my mom, which
that doesn't that's not a thing. But she was like, okay,
because she.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
I want you to take care of it when I
don't want to take care of it, which will be
most of the time, I.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
Just want to sort of carry because this was a
little like a little baby phy. And and so then
I just gave her that dog, yes, okay, obviously, and
that book.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
I feel like you're doing her a favorite, yes, Like
I think the dog's better with me. Yeah, I think.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
She's just so attached to you. My mom does, though,
create anxiously attached dogs, which I was like, okay, we
sent a pattern children the animals patient zero, I was
zero and since they're like leave you can't leave here
my everything. But now so this dog, my current dog, Scoops,

(37:16):
was my partners and so like, I didn't identify as
a dog person. I had a dog with my ex,
but he took her in the divorce because it was
just like easier that way. I think shared custody is
just gets well you lived, shared custody exactly I already
lived doesn't work. And so then I still like didn't

(37:38):
really identify because at that time, even with my ex,
like he was like I want a dog, and I
was like, that will be mostly your dog, not to
be like a cold hearted basual like I was busy,
I was working. I was just like, I know the
actual responsibilities of this thing, and I don't want to
shirk them. And he did a great job raising that child.
And then and then I had like inherited Scoops and

(37:59):
now I'm like I am a full on dog mom
like dog person, and it changes the way I relate
to other dogs on the street. Really, Oh my god,
I'm saying hello. I'm like, I am really, I'm active.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
You have to say hi to dogs?

Speaker 2 (38:11):
Yes, I love them all my children?

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Oh wow. I have a friend who also loves dogs
and is like, I do need to speak to each
one that I see too.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
I do must have to do that.

Speaker 1 (38:23):
My dog has forced me to be far more social
than I want to. Sometimes I want to go on
a walk and disappear, yes, and just be invisible and
just like, let my mind just sore, yeah and flow atrophy.
You know that's the truth. Source sounded nicer Buthy. Yeah,
I want my brain to break. And my dog, though,

(38:45):
he has to say hi. He has to say hi
to everyone, not just other dogs. He's like, you know,
I'm handsome, and you know you want to talk to me?
And if someone does it, he's like, and what's wrong
with you? Yes? Have you seen me? Yeah? Yes, I
love that. It's crazy and I I am shocked that

(39:07):
he is so social because I'm like, and how do
I train you to be a little bit more like me? Like, yes,
be selective. Let's let's sometimes zone out. We don't have
to say hi to every single human.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
That's really hard. When you and your dog have different
social batteries.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
Yeah. Yeah, and he's got it for if I'm yeah,
that's he's a busy body's but I do love him.
That's my guy. It's my guy. But he's a busy
body's busy.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
Yeah, my dog is has leach aggression. Okay, I have
to call him out on that children, but he so
he doesn't when i'm it's kind of helpful because I'm like, no, no,
he's not friendly, So people don't.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
They don't come by any seventy five pounds. No.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Yeah, yeah, he was a tiny because there's a lot
of dogs like on my like neighborhood loop that are
yapping and aggressive, but they're little and you're kind of
like yeah, and people he does it and people are like, good,
this is.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
Gonna kill me. Yeah, okay, well that's shout out to scoops.

Speaker 2 (40:06):
Shout out to scoops.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
He won't hear. But maybe somehow, maybe they can. He might.
Maybe he could, he could if.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
They watched those like dog TV shows.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
Do you put on the TV for the dog when
you leave?

Speaker 2 (40:17):
I never have.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
I've tried it. My dog don't give a fuck. He's like,
I fully got a subscription to a streamer because I
was like, I gotta play bluey I heard dogs like Blue.
And he's like, bitch, what is this? I want to
go where you're going?

Speaker 2 (40:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (40:32):
Club? Yeah, take me today? Care, I need to go
where you're going? This is this? And I'm like, sir,
I paid.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
For yes, a full subscription, pay.

Speaker 1 (40:40):
For a full subscription so you can watch blue. Heard
y'all liked it. He didn't give a damn. He's really
a nipicky went have you do you have children? Have
you ever wanted children? Yes?

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Yes, I do, I think I do?

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Okay do yeah? Why do you say? It was such
like my voice went tentative, no, no, no, I got
a little bit tentative, like yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
You know, because like I think at a certain age,
it's weird to be like I want children, and that's
not that's my own thing, that's my own hang up.
But like I'm no longer a spring chicken, so I
guess I'm sort of like hedging against my perceived judgment
of other people. But no, I like I do, and

(41:24):
and it took me a long time to get there.
I think that's also part of like the hesitation in
my voice is I have never identified as a person
who's been like one hundred percent. I've always known I've
wanted kids. I was just always so career focused and
like was like, I have all these things on my
checklist that I have to do and then we'll see
if they fit into that. And then I think, well,

(41:48):
this show slip that I wrote it, I directed it,
I started in every episode, and so that was like
talk about a seventy five baby. Yeah, And I think
when I did that, I was like, I want a kid.
It kind of like took me doing like the thing
at the top of the bucket list, which was like

(42:10):
I really wanted to create my own series and so
but that wasn't that long ago, so I'm still kind
of like, oh, newly.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Like, okay, I can do the yang. I okay. I'm
curious about did you know, did you always know you
wanted to be married? No? Okay no.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
And I think my parents' relationship made me very cynical
about the institution and my first husband, like I was
really like, I don't believe in marriage, and then after
like eight years pasted, I was like, where's the fucking ring?

Speaker 1 (42:45):
Talking about the documents.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Too, I'm like I said the institution, you know, yeah,
do you do you believe?

Speaker 1 (42:54):
Do I believe in the institution? Sure? Yeah. But I've
never been a person who, like somebody was like, what
kind of ring would you want? And I'm like, and
they were like this cut, this cut. I go, I
don't know anything about the cuts of a diamond. I've
never imagined my wedding, particularly except in the year twenty
twenty of Our Lord and say Yes. I discovered during

(43:17):
COVID this florist and I've never been super into flowers,
but I discovered this florists Like I'm a talent scout,
but this Laur's who's floral designs were so stunning but
like not over the top, but just really beautiful. And
it made me those florals, so I used to order

(43:38):
them for people. Because it's LA based florist. I'm gonna
I will give you the name. It's offerings offerings, yes,
not a sponsor dot Coy stunning and I always get
the bountiful Oh okay. I I was like, these floors
are so insane. I send them to people in La
whenever I can because they also have like specific delivery

(43:59):
days and will always have the same response of just
like these flowers are insane. So those flowers made me
like I was like, oh, I could have a way.
I genuinely was like, I can see them. They're the centerpiece,
and I can see the table. Yes, I couldn't see
the man, but I'm like, I can see the table
with the flowers on it, and.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
Then I love to se.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
The man. I said, I see the dark oak and
the flower. I could see it. I could see the room.
I can see the space. I couldn't see the man
at the time, but I'm in a relationship. You are, yes,
which only going You didn't ask, but I just want
to no, no, no, it's okay. There's nothing else to say.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
It was something else to say, Okay, okay, what is
going on?

Speaker 1 (44:41):
It's great, it's genuinely he's perfect and he's great. Yes,
and it's wonderful. But I had never thought about it
except for those flowers being so stunning. I was like, oh,
I can see where that fits in. But did you
rings diamond cuts? You don't, Yeah, but you knew you
wanted a diamond you know what.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
I think that I just knew I wanted to, Okay,
a knee on a knee, and I like love romance,
So I think that part of a wedding that is that.
I mean, it is such a fantasy, a romance fantasy.
I always did love, but I was a little bit
like this ship doesn't work the first one.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
That eight years before you got engaged, you were together
with your first partner. I think, I'm when a couple
is together that long and they're not getting engaged or
married or taking whatever next step seemingly is there, and

(45:44):
either party is interested in next step, what do you
think it means? Now given your experience?

Speaker 2 (45:52):
I'm thinking about the show Queer Ultimatum. Did you see this?

Speaker 1 (45:55):
I haven't it?

Speaker 2 (45:57):
Okay, okay, well it's the same as the ultimatum, but
it was just with like chaotic, but it was like
that was the central conflict, right, Like that's the show
is like what do you do? All these crazy people
then went off and tried somebody else.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
That's not a good idea.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
I don't know what you do really. I mean, I
think you have to have like an honest conversation to
see if your values are misaligned. And I think like
those conversations are some of them obviously most painful in
a relationship because values are not always aligned, and even
like my friends who are really cut and dry, like

(46:36):
on like first date is like, here's what I want.
I want children, I want marriage, I want and like
are we aligned? People change like you want people to
change as you grow together, so like two years in
that person might be like, actually you.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
Thought about it. I know myself, but.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
Maybe this is different and those are tough moments in
a relationship. But I think it's just honest communications.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
Sure, yeah, I mean I always I wonder when I'm
like it's that long, I'm like, does it mean trouble
in paradise? And we're probably supposed to break up? And
no one wants to do it and rip the band
aid off because that's obviously painful.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
I know. But then you look at I always love
couples who like are like no, like, I actually accept
you as a person who doesn't believe in marriage, and
that might be something I believe in. But I love this. Yeah,
so let's figure out what this looks like. But I
will say my parents like my mother's advice I think

(47:34):
specifically was always like wait as long as humanly possible
to get married in a relationship. So once we hit eight,
I was like mommy, mommy, can I do it now? Now?

Speaker 1 (47:55):
Did you ever have good relationship advice from your dad?

Speaker 2 (47:58):
Yes, my dad actually gives amazing relationship.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
With yes, please dish well.

Speaker 2 (48:03):
Early on around the era of k I T he
was like, there's a difference between being in love and
loving somebody. And that really stuck with me in the
moment because I was falling in love left, right and center.
You know, like I can fall in love very easily,
whatever that means, but it's sort of a drug induced state,

(48:24):
you know, that is temporary. And so he was kind
of like, that's oftentimes the people that you have like
the crazy fireworks with are not the people that are
going to be the sustainable relationship. And I was like,
I do not want to hear that at this particular
moment for you, But it stayed with me, and it

(48:51):
is such good advice.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Yeah, And then what is then being in love? If
it's that chaotic sort of fireworks intensity really loving a person,
how would you or he described that or what I mean?

Speaker 2 (49:07):
You know, let's generally for business. I was, wait, being
in love, you' blestered me. It's aspect trump, Wait.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
You or your dad?

Speaker 2 (49:22):
I understand now, Well, my dad could be sheare they
too at any moment he's he's in his eighties.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
You don't know, you never know, you don't know. It's
not too late.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Okay, wait, ask me the question again.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
Okay, really loving a person, how would you or he
your dad, my father specifically daddy, Yes, describe that.

Speaker 2 (49:41):
Really loving a person? Okay. I think it means unconditionally
loving someone, including and because of all of their imperfections
whatever you deem imperfect about that, Yeah, but that took
me a long time to understand. Like, actual acceptance of

(50:01):
a person looks like not the idea which I think
a lot of people go into relationships like, oh, I
can change this person as a disaster, you know what
I mean. And it's not that it's not that you
can't desire someone someone's growth, but that's not your business.
They're going to do it in their time.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
Yeah, you can't change them or save them. It turns
out no, it turns keeps.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
The life wrap for yourself.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yes, and you have to put your mask on before
and honestly don't even.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
Know they can figure it out.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
I have to figure it out there in an emergency.
You think I've turned put mine and then.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
You know, no, I'm already out of the plane.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
I'm not the way are you coming?

Speaker 2 (50:50):
I'm like, oh no.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
No, I should have paid attention to that's right. People
don't pay attention to flight ATTECK. I never do until
you want something to drink.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
That's right, and then you're like, excuse me, I know,
excuse me, I said no ice. The flight attendants like
doing the the demo demonstration.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
I feel so bad.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
It's like being like the opener at like a Justin
Bieber concert. Everyone's like, anyway, when's for takeoff?

Speaker 1 (51:27):
And then they're clapping for the pilot whole time has
done a performance. Okay. A pilot gets out and says, hey,
I just want to say I was.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Yeah, I've been seated.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
I've been seated. We're going to get you safely to
your destination. I do clap? You do clap? Do you clap?
On the plane lands?

Speaker 2 (51:48):
Sometimes if I'm feeling frisky, have.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
You ever been the only ones? Ye feel after.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
And red like and I usually do an audience if
I'm traveling with someone, I will see if I can
start the clap.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
And how I'm gonna what percentage is it successful? Start
to not successful?

Speaker 2 (52:11):
Or on successful, I'm gonna say it's fifty fifty, fifty
to fifty, but the fifty when it works, it's in vigorous.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
It's magical to start a class. I just try to
start a class. Yes, I'm gonna try to start a
clap on my next flight.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
Because also it opens people up to be like, yeah,
that was a fucking miracle because.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
It didn't have to happen this way. We didn't, isn't it?
What could have gone a different way? And we keep
taking you know, the other day on a flight, I
was like, I should say a prayer because I remember
when flying was a bit of a novelty and I
would say a little prayer every time before we took off.
And I said, now I'm just like the Wi Fi.
I know, I know, ma'am the Wi Fi. Yes, I know, ma'am.

(52:54):
And when does the food start? It's just up here
eating and on the internet. It's crazy, it's crazy. I
said a little prayer again because I said, wait a minute,
this is actually terrifying.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
Do you have to take anything for flights?

Speaker 2 (53:09):
No?

Speaker 1 (53:10):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (53:11):
But I was on a flight as a like child
where beaches had come out okay, So I'm gonna aige
myself the Bette Midler movie, Moving, Moving, okay, And the
whole plane was watching beaches and everyone was like crying.
It was almost like simultaneous, like everyone. I just remembered

(53:32):
that everyone the plane was r and then the the
pilot comes on and he's like, uh, we've got a
bit of a situation. And long story short like two
of the however, many engines had died, and so we
started going and everyone's already crying. From Bette Midler, Yeah,
it was a disaster. And so I think because I
experienced that, I'm always like, this is a miracle, everybody.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
We need to collapse. We made it, no idea. Yeah,
oh my goodness. I want to be on a flight
with you. We should go somewhere I've envied myself. What's
your vibe? What's your vacation vibe?

Speaker 2 (54:07):
Really? Anywhere anytime?

Speaker 1 (54:09):
Really, I love your vacation city, beach, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
I mean I like a little mix, Like I'll love
like a place that has a beach that also has
some culture that I can I.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
Know where you'd like where Barcelona I.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
Will go to? You know where else I want to go?
Not for like the like partisanship, but like around like Maorca, Mahorka.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
I've been to Maoca. You have got back from Majorca
and did in fact ship my brains out? Okay, why
maybe the bad I didn't even have paya. I've been
to Spain twice this past in less than twelve months,
and I have not had paya. I don't know something.
My stomach is very sensitive. It's really devastating how sensitive

(55:00):
it is.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
And traveling is tough.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
And oftentimes, yeah, traveling is very tough. Can you feel God? Please?

Speaker 2 (55:08):
My Yorka was difficult. I died. Yeah it does, but
it actually does.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
Yes, it's actually it's that's actually brutalista it is, but
my basically and then like even anyway, I landed and
I was fine, and then it was like my stomach hurts,
and then and then one thing led to another and
I was in hell for twenty four hours. Ask me
anything to come on the toilet, fighting for my life.

(55:43):
I do not have an electrolyte left, Okay, And guess
what happened after I went to Barcelona. Yeah, oh tough.
So it's not Spain. So I'm not blaming Spain because
I love Spain. I'll be back. I'm a fighter was
the I'm going back. I don't care. I'm a fighter.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
I know that about you.

Speaker 1 (55:59):
Yeah, okay, yeah, some places have scared me enough that
I don't come back. Yeah, but I'm gonna fight for Spain.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
Mexico City. Love that place, the coolest place. But did
get talk about shit and brains and my partner at
the time. I mean, I think he had to like
register with the CDC when we got back because he
was bringing some crazy shit in. And we had like
a reservation at a Michelin restaurant and it took everything

(56:29):
for me to get this fucking reservation. Yeah, and I
made him come, this is what it's like to date me.
And we sat there and he was like, we'll just
get up and go to the bathroom between every course.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
Poor man, poor man.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
But you know what you do what you gotta do.

Speaker 1 (56:44):
And he liked the food, didn't stay in lost, didn't
stay in and out tasty. You think that's how they
came up with the name in and Out. I love
in and out. There's no shade. I love it. I
am a friend who was new to our friend group

(57:06):
joined us for New year's I think twenty twenty. Cirsty
Hear very important. She was new to the friend group
like we. Actually I don't know that we had ever
met her, but one friend brought her and she was
so ill, just shitting her brains out, vomiting her heart out,
and it was in and out it was. But mind you,

(57:29):
I just had in and out two weeks ago. No
problems here. Everything was okay, shut it stayed in? Do
it stayed in? Bad? Fully? Well? That's bad too. We
need one about yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahs Do you do
you like the fries edit and out?

Speaker 2 (57:49):
Can I tell you something? I really have only discovered
it in and out in my current relationship because he's
an Angelino and so in and out is like a
part of the culture, and so like, we will go
and I will eat those fries, but I wouldn't identify
as like I love those fries because also I was
raised in a very like health food ass house, and
so I was not allowed any fast food, like nothing,

(58:11):
no sugar. For my fifth birthday, I asked for sugar
Cereal like I asked for Lucky Charms, and I ate
one bowl and then the next day my mom threw
out the box. I didn't get to keep the whole box.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
You didn't get to keep the box. So do you?
You don't have a sweet tooth? And naie I out
of sugar.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
It was Yeah, it was like forbidden.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
Discipline around it.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
I do have I do have discipline. But I love sweets. Okay,
I absolutely love sweets.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
Well, Zoe, it's time for a segment called that's nice,
But what about me? You are from Brooklyn, Yeah, you
live in Los Angeles. Now I'm trying to decide where
to live. And I know you can change your mind,
but where to like plant roots? Okay, where to? I
was gonna say something about soil sewing.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
So your seats?

Speaker 1 (59:02):
Why do men get to say that?

Speaker 2 (59:03):
I know?

Speaker 1 (59:03):
Anyway, Yeah you know you got seats, Yeah, eggs and seats.
Where do I? Where should I? How do I? How
did you decide? Obviously your partner lives in LA and
as an Angelina, was that the deciding.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
No, that wasn't a deciding factor. I stayed in New York.
I had a teacher in acting school at NYU who
was like, don't move to LA until you get a job.
So I stayed in New York until I got a
job in LA, and so then I moved there and
I've been there for like thirteen years now. Oh and

(59:37):
I love it. And I am a person that's going
to tell you to live in LA, even though of
course like New York born and bred, but I do
think like at a certain age for me, the lifestyle
in LA is just it's cush, It's it feels good.
You get to go back to that same block just

(59:59):
multiple times. I mean, we don't know if she's getting
up pet food or a macha or I to you,
time will tell, but the day is your oyster and
that's what LA.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
Also.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
I hate to be this person, but the weather. Yeah,
so I'm gonna get hate from like my Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Okay, maybe I can try to save you. Are you
Yankees or Dodgers?

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
You know, I do not invest in the sports at all.
Couldn't even tell you, but I'll go to either game
because I like merch. Okay, so and I support both.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
You'll be wearing a Yankees cap and a Dodger's jersey.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
I have a I bought a like jacket at a
Vinage store that's like an MLB jacket and has a
patch of from every single baseball team.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
I just hear that because I like I'm Switzerland.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
That's a very okay yeah, not unproblematic.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Yeah okay, yeah yeah famous.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Everyone. Everyone loves you, Zoe. It was so wonderful to
talk to you. Thank you for doing this.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
That was my conversation with Zoe Lister Jones. What a
delight Zoe is I mean chaotic twins we are, I'll
say I would love to give you advice, as would
my next guest. Who knows who they'll be, but I
have a feeling they would love to give you advice.
If you want advice, call five zero two eight four
nine three two three seven. It's five zero two eight

(01:01:29):
four nine three two three seven. My guest and I
will try to shepherd you in the right direction. We're
not experts, but we love to be nosy. We'll see
you next time.