May 18, 2026 • 39 mins
This week on the 9941 Podcast, Parker is out welcoming a new baby, and Preston Duffy steps in for an honest, vulnerable conversation about singleness, temptation, lust, relationships, and what men are truly searching for in a woman. Granger, Tyler, Preston, and the AntMan dig into Proverbs 31, discuss the difference between outward beauty and godly character, and talk openly about finding identity and contentment in Christ rather than seeking validation from relationships.
From struggles with purity and social media temptation to biblical perspectives on dating, marriage, sanctification, and living with an eternal mindset, this episode tackles real issues many men and women quietly wrestle with every day. The conversation also explores how God changes our desires over time and what it means to pursue Jesus first instead of chasing fulfillment in other people.
Topics include:
• Proverbs 31 explained
• Christian dating and relationships
• Lust, temptation, and purity struggles
• Singleness and contentment in Christ
• Biblical manhood and marriage
• Identity and validation through Jesus
• Overcoming sin through grace
Listen now and join the conversation as the guys unpack what it means to seek Christ first and trust Him with every season of life.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up in Granger?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I mean yet, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
I'm Tyler and I'm Preston.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
We've got a guess. We've got Preston here.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
He knows the rules too.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
He knows the rules. He's seen enough. Preston Duffy has
sat many times in the chair right next to so
over here. So it's not that big a deal for
you to step in for your brother Parker. Who is
Parker is currently in the hospital with his wife Amy
having a baby today. Pretty Grady.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
It's wild exciting.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And we he was going to come, he was gonna
come and be on the podcast today and this morning
they facetimed Tyler and I and she's going like like
bending over breathing. This girl is also a former college athlete,
like uh SEC champ played volleyboard for Texas A and
(00:51):
M Do you know that SEC championship team.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
He told me that when we ate dinner Sunday.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah. And she's not like the you know, a bench warmer.
She was like one of the star players I don't
know volleyball. She was like the short one. What do
they call that? The love barrow? Thank you.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
She's a little barrow, which leads into our podcast today
about what to look for and a woman athletic?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
What do women? What? What do men want out of? No,
let's change that men only want one thing. Say something
like that, that's what we'll talk about. And that's not
we're not relating this to Amy and Parker at all
somehow that just uh, we're basically saying we're Parker is
going to be on here. He called us this morning
and it was like, actually, the contractions are five minutes
(01:38):
apart now, so we're head in the hospital and you said,
well you could still come right and Amber laughed at you.
Maybe so maybe I did. So we got pressing and brote,
thank you for filling in for Parker. Yeah, I have
total confidence in you. Man. You've seen you're kind of
like Marv in the old days. Also, you are both
(02:00):
from South South Carolina. But Mark from the old days
was a listener of the podcast before we were friends.
Is that true? Would you say that of you? You
were a listener of this podcast before you and.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
I habitual listener?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, that's so crazy A lot.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
I was with Mav the other day.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
I don't know if you know this story, and it
was me, Mavin Preston and mav goes Preston, why do
you talk like that?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
From South Carolina?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
He's Maverick said that it's amazing, it was fun. That's
amazing that he's catching. He's catching that he sounds different.
So Preston, long time listening to the podcast. Now, member
of our church moved here several months ago, and now
(02:47):
you're like, you know, we talk every single day, ten
times a day, which is part of what we do
in a local church. You know, we live life alongside
each other. But you man, you also have a history
of your own that's worth probably its own episode on
this podcast. But you went pretty far in American Idol
(03:08):
two thousand and twenty three. That's right, Oh yeah, you
got it twenty three. Yeah, and now you have the
Lord has put a hook in your mouth and your
jaw and and you and has drawn you to himself
in a in a way that's so encouraging to watch,
(03:28):
so fun to watch. And so that's why I feel
like you're going to be perfect guests on this podcast.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Yeah, thank the Lord for that.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
We could bring you on another time. Actually, comment below,
say this if you're watching on YouTube, or cruise over
to our YouTube channel and say I want to hear
Presson's story, and we'll stack that up and then we'll
bring you back and we'll actually get you in here
and get you to tell your story because it's.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
A good one.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I mean, I've heard it many times and it's still
exciting for me. Yeah. Amen, So what you know we
would think about this? Men only want one thing from
a woman. We partly say that because it's because it's
a title that it's worth digging into. But this conversation
started this morning Tyler and I were we're sitting around.
(04:16):
I guess we were. You spent the night last night, Tyler,
with Maverick and Lincoln. Maverick slept on you pretty much
last night. Y'all slept in the barn, so you didn't sleep,
actually slept grangers.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
Are you sure you know what you're doing? Like he's
wild sleeper like kicks and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
But he was good.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
But what brought up this morning? We worked out and
then we were talking about girls because you're single, pressing single.
Aunt man and I are both married and you guys
are single, so this will be a good convo. What
started that, I guess.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
We're just going to get into it because I think
we were talking about You're asking about what we should
talk about, and I was talking about, well, last time,
I was talking about kind of like falling back into
sin and like, how do you fight against it? And
I hate my sin? And then I was like, well,
between you and me, but now everybody on the podcast,
I was like, I'm kind of dealing with like temptation and.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Lust and that sort of stuff. And I was like,
I don't want to say that.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
I don't want to talk about it because lust sounds
just such a dirty word and it's embarrassing and being
vulnerable and.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
People love that about you though people people comment all
the time I'm with Tyler. I agree with that. I
love Tyler so honest. That's you know, all the questions
and so it's great that you're saying this.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Yeah. So yeah.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
So that's how the conversation started. And then I said
that the Amber reposted something on her Instagram a video
of John Piper and it was about a proverb thirty
one woman and John Piper just started off in the
video and he said strength and dignity are her clothing
and then pause a little bit and then went into
the rest of videos. But I was like, oh, wait, oh,
(05:53):
strength and dignity are her clothing? Strength and dignanty art.
So that just kept I kept repeating that that. I
feel like the Lord kind of just opened my eyes
because been struggling with Like, hopefully people in the comments
can be like, yeah, me too, because it's hard to
talk about.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
But it's like, as a guy, it's like.
Speaker 5 (06:12):
You see a beautiful woman and what she might be wearing,
you know, like just for instance, Stagecoach just came up,
you know, came up recently, and everybody likes to wear
you know, revealing clothing, and so I still struggle with that.
You know, I think the Lord is slowly changing what
I find attractive in a woman, and I pray that
(06:34):
he does. But yeah, it's just hard as a guy
to see, you know, a very attractive woman wearing clothing
showing revealing, revealing clothing. And I used to be attracted
to that. I used to you know, talk to girls
that wore that, or DM girls that wore that and stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
But do you blame girls for that? That's interesting?
Speaker 5 (06:58):
No, No, no, that's I mean I'll start with myself
and you know, deleting, removing, removing stumbling blocks, whether that's
deleting whatever social media app is causing you to stumble,
or removing yourself from conversations with certain girls out of
(07:21):
just protecting myself and you know, fleeing youthful passions.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Let me let me double click on that again, though.
Do you get frustrated with girls when they dress like
that in front of you? No, it's not a trick question.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
It's just observation because I can't I can't control.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I can control where my eyes go and my thoughts go,
that's good.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I kind of say that too, because like in the
Muslim culture, the husbands will make their wives wear the
big gowns, you know, and and part of that is
so that they'll they'll tell you they have told me,
it's so that my wife doesn't cause my brother to
stumble or or or a man on the street to stumble.
(08:07):
But there's also a jealousy underneath that, you know, And
there's a control, there's an authoritative control underneath all that too,
and all of us have that, all of us have
that you didn't fall for it at all when I
asked you the question, you, I think rightly put it
all on yourself. But I think sometimes we think man, well,
(08:27):
don't dress like that, and I won't look at you
like that. Don't wear a shirt like that, And maybe
I wouldn't. My eyes wouldn't go there. How could they
not go there and immediately put it on the girl?
Is there anything to say to the girl? You've got
a niece that's.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Fourteen, Well, I think that's different raising you know, you
as her father, like just kind of from a different
perspective than the mother, you know, the father and the
uncle saying hey, you know, don't you know, pull that
shirt down a little bit, don' show your belly button
or whatever you're saying. I think, yeah, like kind of
some godly wisdom is helpful with family. But I'm not
(09:07):
going to tell a stranger somebody I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
No, No, I don't think. I don't. I know you wouldn't.
I know you wouldn't. What would you say, man, I'm
putting you on the spot today. What would you say
to girls that are listening right now about how they dress? Oh?
Speaker 5 (09:24):
Man, I would say I would just point back to Jesus,
like the Matthew six thirty three. You know, which helps
me is seek first the Kingdom of God and his
righteousness and all these things will be added to you.
So you know, from my understanding of that verse and
what I'm dealing with, it's like, you know, just put
a put a video out on my Instagram, you know,
(09:44):
stop looking for a wife. Stop stop looking and seeking
for it, and just put my eyes back on Jesus,
and all these things will be added to you. Like
if if the Lord decides to bring a woman in
my life and marriages in my future, great, but I
would tell them to do to seek first Jesus. Yeah,
you're not saying, don't seek Jesus and then he'll give
(10:05):
you a wife. That's not what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
No, you're you're saying that those who seek the Lord
lack no good thing. Yeah, exactly, and that lacking no
good thing could mean could mean he gives you wife.
I could not.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Yeah, I mean I used to, and I'm changing my
mind on this because you used to always say, you
know whatever, go go find me a wife.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I want to be you know uncle.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Find you a wife so I could have a sister
in law. Yes, yeah, yeah, you want a sister in law.
And I'd be like man, I'm like Paul, man, I'm good.
Like he said you know he was single. But then
Paul says, if you can't, if you can't, was he say,
if you can't control yourself, I recommend marriage basically if
you struggled with us, if you're struggling with un marriage,
And so I used to always think, yeah, I'm good, dude,
(10:50):
I'm like, I got the self control thing down, like
I am so disciplined, and then boom, a picture hits you,
or a text or a call or something comes you
know in your life, you know recently for me, it's like,
oh wow, whoops, I am not as strong as I
thought I was, plea, And you know, so it goes
(11:11):
straight to prayer forgive me Lord, and and then just
change your mom Maybe maybe I am so get married.
Maybe I can't control this like I thought I could.
You know what's crazy when you say that? Though, you
you said, oh whoa, I'm not as strong as I
thought I was, which that's true. But what we all
hear too, what we hear you say is you're a
(11:34):
lot stronger in the Lord now than you were before.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, it's like it takes wisdom, it takes takes strengthen
the Lord, trusting the Lord for you to say what
you just said, yeah, I guess so, and to see that,
to see your sanctification, which all of us are being sanctified,
all Christians are being sanctified from the moment of conversion
when the Lord saves them. Then there's this process of
(12:01):
being saved, and that is the rest of our lives
as a Christian. And then there's the moment of glorification,
which is you are saved. So we we were saved
as Christians were being saved, and we will be saved.
And that the whole being saved is sanctification. It's being
conformed to the image of Christ. And when you say
(12:21):
things like that, doller, that is so like your Your
sanctification has ramped up even since we started this podcast.
From go from thinking like the old the older days
of the EEE podcast. You talk more now, you have
more biblical wisdom. Now the fact that you used to
relate yourself to Paul thinking I think I'm just called
(12:45):
the singleness like I'm good and now for you to go, actually,
I'm not good. I think I think I struggle with this.
Speaker 5 (12:52):
It's tough. It's tough though, because you know, like Marshall
texted me, man, I I'm so encouraged by the latest podcast.
And on the surface, I'm like, yeah, thank you, but
he doesn't know what I'm like really struggling.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
With another sign of your sanctification.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
And then you saying, man, I'm so encouraged by you.
It's like, well, you don't. My brother doesn't really know
what I'm struggling with. And I don't have some deep
dark secret like that I'm going to reveal it all.
I just kind of, like I was saying last episode,
it's like, man, I'm just really growing to hating my sin.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
And uh hopefully Yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
It's like Peter getting out of the boat and sinking,
and it's like it's like me similar with like looking
at this this sin and like taking my eyes off
Jesus and whoops, here I go. I'm sinking now, and
the Lord is like, put your eyes back on me.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
So good man, so encouraging, suppressing. You're twenty five, just
turned twenty five a few weeks ago, but without without
getting into your testimony, you're seeing things with new eyes now.
So now, how do you see a dating future for
(14:10):
you with girls?
Speaker 3 (14:12):
How do you.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
How are you handling it? And how do you see.
Speaker 5 (14:16):
It give them something good that you're really struggling with.
So live story doesn't sound bad.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Just to be clear, like a lot of these ideas
that Tyler's sharing their first grengthy in seven right, Paul's
making this argument of like, hey, if you're married, cool,
If you're not, that's cool, but don't think you need
to switch because you're newly born again and don't think
you have to pursue marriage. You shared this idea from
a brother of ours a few weeks ago on the
podcast of Man, just pray for patience for me, and
(14:46):
you're like, hey, you don't need patience, you need contentment
in where you are right now, you know. So that's
just to make the long story short, that's where I am.
I'm just trying to really be content newly born again.
You know, I thought I was a Christian for a
long time, but I'm newly born again like five months ago,
so I want to give it some time. You know,
(15:06):
I'm not really that's not extremely high on my priority
list right now. So that's kind of where I am.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Yeah, So you're saying the way you're thinking through this
is you're trying to not take as as seriously, maybe
as you did before.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Yeah, for sure, I got a lot of identity and
acceptance and a lot of like, what's the word I'm
looking for?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Like, I got a lot of my You don't like
to be alone? Do you? And it's okay to say that,
And I say that because.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
You encourage me when you're always reaching out and having
dinners and meetings and I'm kind of more of an introvert.
But is that is that you being an extrovert or
is that you not being able to be alone? And
does that relate to you always kind of winning a girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
That makes sense?
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah, I think that could go into a whole other
thing too, because I didn't always necessarily just want a girlfriend.
A lot of the times in my sin, I just
wanted my attention to be taken up for an afternoon
or a weekend or something. You know, I didn't I
didn't actually want the commitment, which is a whole nother story.
But as far as like going and eating and talking
(16:16):
to guys and inviting you, that's just that goes back
to me being content with the Lord in this newness
and seeing things in a new way. Is trying to
be content with him and learn about him and pour
into discipleship, both receiving it from guys older than me
and the faith and poured into guys younger than me
and the faith in a way, So is it the church.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
And church members so cool? Where it's like, you know,
before this podcast, you and me were kind of talking.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
A little bit about the topic today.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
And like how we're able to like be vulnerable and
like have a brother like understand and like point, oh,
that reminds me of First Corinthians and like like oh, yeah,
then I'll go read that and they're like, yeah, I'll
be praying for you, brother, and yeah, so encouraging important
to be around other believers in that respect.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
Validation that's the word I was looking for.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
You needed to be validated absolutely, Yeah, through the attention
of a female.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Yeah. I think there's something to be said for if
you kind of want that too much, that's a good
sign to maybe kind of starve yourself from it in
a way. Oh yeah, Like, hey, Christ is enough. Christ
is enough. That's been my whole thing lately, is like
Jesus is enough right now. He doesn't need help to
make you satisfied.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Yeah, no doubt. And you know, if someone's listening or
not they don't identify as a Christian. This stuff sounds
really weird what we're saying. It sounds really weird. But
we would say that because of the perfect life and
death and resurrection of Christ and his atonement of our
(17:48):
sin at the cross, meaning his absorption of what God's
punishment that was meant for us was absorbed into Christ,
therefore setting us free for those that repent and look
to Him and by faith, we would say that the
life that flows from that seeks to seeks to please God,
(18:10):
you could say it that way. And in pleasing God,
we want to be fully satisfied with him, fully validated
by what He has done for us and his love
for us by sending his son right. And from that
that then flows down the stream of relationships and we go, well,
(18:33):
now I'm seeking a relationship, not to fill a hole
in my heart, not to fix some missing piece or
the whole. You know, you complete me. Jerry maguire idea, Well, no,
I'm already complete. I'm already complete in Christ, and I
don't need, I don't need another human to completely complete me.
(18:54):
But then we look to the Bible and we see
that it's not good for man to be alone, and
Eve was given to Adam as as as a helper,
so that they compliment each other beautifully, each Adam and
Eve each being perfectly complete in themselves in Christ, but
not needing, not needing anything from each other except for
(19:19):
they compliment each other. Two complete beings complimenting each other.
And as you start thinking about all of this, so
you start thinking about dating differently. Do you want to
you want to walk us through Proverbs thirty one ten
to thirty one, which is I think interesting for four
(19:40):
dudes to sit around and walk through Proverbs thirty one
ten to thirty one, because this is a This is
the women's passage. This is when women. Women look at this,
Women talk about this, Women post this on their Instagram.
Women put this, you know, they print it out and
put it in their bathroom so they could look at
it when they're putting on their makeup. Men don't really
(20:00):
sit around too often and look up it, look at this.
So let's just observe it and see considering what men
really want, all men really want, but then consider being
made new in Christ. Consider how these things start to
become attractive. Let's think of it from that perspective.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, Verse ten an excellent wife who could find she
is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her
husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack
of gain. She does him good and not harm All
the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands. She is like the ships
(20:44):
of the merchant. She brings her food from afar. She
rises while it is yet night and provides food for
her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a
field and buys it with the fruit of her hands.
She plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and
makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
(21:08):
Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts
her hands to the dye staff, and her hands hold
the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and
reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not
afraid of snow for her household. For all of her
household or clothed in scarlet, she makes bed coverings for herself.
(21:29):
Her clothing is fine, linen and purple. Her husband is
known in the gates when he sits among the elders
of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them.
She delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are
her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of
(21:50):
kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the
ways of her household and does not eat the bread
of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed.
Her husband also and he praises her. Many women have
done excellently, but you surpassed them all. Charm is deceitful,
(22:10):
and beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the
Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit
of her hands, and let her works praise her in
the gates.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You should do radio. I'll think about it. And you
got a little emotional a couple of times. What do
you think about when you read that?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Well, I mean, I'm literally from the time this comes
out two weeks away from marrying my oldest daughter. Yeah,
And so thinking this through is that you know, guys,
we think about well, you know, granger and not being
the married guys, you guys being the single guys. It is.
I love this, but also think it comes with a
(22:58):
burden a wife comes with a burden too, because we
like to talk about that women should submit to their husbands,
but husbands should be you love your wife like Christ
loved the church and what did he do? Laid down
his life. That's that's a big, big calling and should
not just be passed over. So while we look for
(23:20):
I mean, you know, God provides this woman, so are
he does that? I think in the time that He
has prepared you as well, you know, And uh, that's
what I What did I hit? I hit something that
(23:41):
I can't hear anymore, maybe a bat everyone dead. I
hope that's not a sign of what's to come at
the wedding. My mic just cuts off, But you know,
that is that's something I think about as I you know,
I'll be able to see some people, but I'm mainly
talking to my daughter and her soon to be husband
(24:03):
and just you know, for them, we've been going for
the past eighteen weeks through what it means to be
a husband and a wife, which I will I mean,
after you know, reading that, I think that's something that
should include in there. Not maybe not in the ceremony,
maybe some of it, but definitely something that they you know,
(24:24):
understanding what God has brought you aiden and which is
her fiance. And but then you know, just as much
as we what we look for is this God brings
that one. He's also prepared us as well, because there's
a calling for you as well.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You know what I thought about when you're talking about
there's a burden that comes with a wife, and there
is a burden that comes with following.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Christ, of course.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
But Christ says that that my burden is not cumbersome
to you. He says that my yoke is easy and
my burden is light. And think about what he says
when he says, my burden is easy for you. Okay,
(25:13):
look at people in history that have followed Christ and
been killed for it, been executed for it, been estranged
from their family for it, lost jobs for it, lost everything,
been imprisoned for it. And Jesus, though, is saying, oh,
my burden's easy. But I think what he means, and
it will relate this to the wife, is that when
(25:34):
you say, well look at me and Amber, or just
take me an Amber, you say, you know, wife, submit
to your husband's husband's love, your wife, as Christ loved
the church. And you said, and Christ laid down his
life for the church, meaning a husband would be ready
to lay down his wife life for his wife. And
I think in my mind I'll do that for Amber
(25:56):
with a smile.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Well but yes, Ashley, for me, Yeah, but for my wife, Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
I would take a bullet for her, and the last,
the last second before I get hit by that bullet,
I would start to smile. That's what Jesus means when
he says, Mayo, kaz Ezi, my burden is light. He's
not saying it's not heavy. It's not. It doesn't hurt,
(26:24):
it's not suffering, it's it's not. I mean, we're talking
the heaviest stuff to follow Christ to level wife is
some of the heaviest stuff a man could ever deal with.
And when Jesus says it's light, he means because you
have so much joy in doing it, then it's light.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Also thought that when you're saying that too, I think
of it is light, even the martyrs, it's light compared
to eternity because that death may be now, and it
may be awful, and it may be horrible they are
and so many times, but it's not everlasting.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeah. Yeah, And so the death of sin is that's
exactly right, having that eternal mindset. And then you look
here and look at this verse thirty. Charm is deceitful,
beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord
is to be praised. Yeah, that's such an interesting way
to say it. We were talking about this earlier that
it doesn't say, but a woman who fears the Lord
(27:30):
will lack no good thing. That's what the psalms say,
or that a woman who fears the Lord is very wise,
she is all those things, but it says is to
be praised. Guys, I think that's talking about us. I
think it's talking about us. We should be in their sanctification,
(27:51):
like we talked about increasingly attracted as single man, not
me and you ant attracted to women like this.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Well, and I do a point it to us too.
It's what I find attractive about my wife.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
And that's what we should find attractive about our wives. Yeah,
that's what Tyler impressing. Ideally in their sanctification, should increasingly
be attracted to a woman like this, and you and
I should be increasingly attracted to the characteristics of our
wife like this and encouraged. Now we could do a
deep dive. I know that this has been torn apart.
(28:29):
This is probably thirty one, So that's not what this
podcast is about. Deep diving the elements of what it
means to have a working woman at home cooking food.
You know, we're not going to go there, and I
don't think I don't think that's the it would be
the intention here. So you know, some people say this
(28:49):
is Solomon talking about his mom. It's been we don't
We don't really know, but it's been thought that this
is Solomon talking about his mother, which is another interesting
thing if you think about who Solomon's mother is. Oh sure,
so so anyway, this could be a deep dive. But
I think for you two single guys, do you feel
(29:09):
like the Lord has shaped your heart to look less
for the outer clothing and more towards what Tyler was
talking about verse twenty five, strength and dignity or her clothing.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Is Solomon's mom Bathsheba?
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Yeah, yeah, that is a whole story in and of it,
So yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Say the question again, do you feel like the Lord
is increasingly changing your heart to be more attracted to
the clothing of strength and dignity and a woman who's
fearing the Lord.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
I mean, I hope so because everything I've done in
my own power has failed miserably.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
So yeah, you were.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
You were just talking about that though, and just man like,
the longer I live, the more I I'm less and
less attracted to the things I was because they're vanity,
like he writes later, like everything that we think is
so good in this world is vanity. Like only find
(30:15):
you know, validation and long lasting contentment and what is eternal?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
If you read the Bible straightforward in order, then then
literally the next line is vanity of vanities. So that's
the preacher. Vanity of vanity is all is vanity in
your ecclesiastic.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Clesias, Yeah, there was.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
I was telling you. It's there's two things that come
to mind when you know some girls wearing a revealing
stagecoach outfitted that festival. If I'm flipping through Instagram or something.
The first thought that comes to my mind as well,
that's not my wife. Yeah you know however that sounds
to to anybody listening like my wife. And the second
(30:59):
thought is whoever my future wife is, wherever she is
in the world at this moment.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
I don't want my eyes to be on that. You know,
I want that to be reserved for her.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
Feel like it would be unattractive to a really God
fearing woman in her eyes to see us like even
enjoying that, you know, like that wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Be out of respect to her.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Yeah, but I like how you know, we talked about
you know, loving your wife like Christ love the church.
That guys love to quote that. Well, you should be
submissive to your husband. Read the read the other verse,
you know, because the responsibility goes to you as the man.
And like Joe, we're going through job right now. We're
talking a lot about that and job thirty one to one.
(31:45):
I have made a covenant with my eyes? How then
could I gaze at a virgin? Now, virgin's just a
young woman that's never been married in that context. But
but he's taken responsibility, Like I'm making a covenant with
my eyes. You've talked about cove eyes on this yeah
podcast a lot. That's where that comes from, I would imagine.
But it's like he takes responsibility for that. It starts
(32:08):
with us, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, flowing from a redeemed heart,
right exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
You wouldn't nobody would say that unless the Lord gives
them that, yeah, the ability to make that covenant.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
We also wouldn't say to any girl that's listening right now,
we wouldn't. We wouldn't say, hey, all you women out
there need to You need to clothe yourself with dignity
and strength. You know, you need to make linen garments
and sell them. You need to deliver sashes to the merchant.
You need to make your bed covering for yourself. You
(32:42):
don't don't go to Walmart and buy your bed covering.
You need to be women, you need to be making it.
So what we would say is we would say, fear
the Lord, seek the Lord, and look at the the
bloom that comes from the reign of seeking the Lord.
(33:05):
You know. And so what I say that because we
don't ever on this podcast ever want to preach moral
correction to everyone, especially non believers. We don't want someone
that doesn't identify as a Christian to We don't want
to pharisee them to death and say you should be
(33:26):
doing this. You know, you need to be wearing that. Women,
you need to stop wearing what you're wearing. You to
put your hair in a bun. You need to wear
a dress, no pants, for a woman. We don't want
to say that, because that's just moral correction. We want
to say, always look to Christ, who went to the cross,
who died the death you deserved, and was raised three
(33:48):
days later. All who look to him will be forgiven.
And from him. From that redeemed person flows a wealth
of obedience that is not burdensome. It is a joy
to live for the Lord. And from that you start
to see men and women changing the way they think
(34:10):
about themselves. And part of it is the way they dress.
This goes from this goes from men too. I could
already see the comments, Hey, it's not just about how
women dress. Guys, what do you What are you wearing?
What are you guys wearing? You know, you can think
about what you're wearing as well. I remember that with
the old earl dibbles days. I remember after I was redeemed,
(34:32):
I was doing the whole earl dibbles, pull off the
tank top, you know, And I remember a woman was
like emailed. It was like, hey, I went to the
concert and that that wasn't a good moment. You know,
you're not. I don't think you're thinking about the women
in the audience. You're you're just thinking about your perspective,
and I was like, oh, she got me. I never
(34:55):
did it after that, never did it one time after that. Anyway,
got a book to you with, Oh awesome. Yeah. This
was called Finally Free Heath Lambert. It's a really good book,
Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace. It's almost
exactly what we just said. Fighting for purity is what
(35:15):
Preston is saying. It's on you make a covenant, protect
your eyes. You need to take responsibility then with the
power of grace. If you do it by yourself, it's moralism,
it's behavioral correction. But if you do it with the
power of grace, then it's a godly obedience. To This book,
(35:39):
From a Life of Struggle to a Life of Purity.
Eight Gospel centered strategies for overcoming pornography. So the thing is,
it's a it matches what we're saying today, and I
know this is a big struggle. Pornography is all around us,
destroys marriages and leaves users in a warped view of
sexual Sadly, many Christians not only struggle to resist the
(36:03):
lure of pornography, they are addicted, trapped by its power.
Breaking out of it of the deceitful web of pornography,
as many know only too well, does not happen through
merely trying harder to change are following a particular method
or program. The only sure and effective motivation for change
is the grace of Jesus, and this book, experienced counselor
(36:25):
and teacher he Lambert, identifies eight strategies, each based on
the work of Christ, that give people locked that get
people that are locked in the grip of pornography both
the fuel and a roadmap for change. Each chapter is
grounded in grace and clearly articulates how to apply the
Gospel in practical ways. And then it says, whether you
struggle yourself for trying to help someone else who's struggling,
(36:48):
Here's there is good news. No matter how intense or
how long standing, the fight Jesus Christ can will and
does set people free from the power of pornography. We
will sign this. I'm finally free it I'm finally free.
Comment on our YouTube page which is ninety nine for
(37:08):
one the podcast on YouTube. Go there. You can also
do it on Facebook too well. Post this on Facebook,
don't we Yes, we do. Yeah. So if you want
to go find us on Facebook. You could you could
put you could comment as well, and that's just on
the Greater Smith. Yeah, on Greater Smith Facebook page. I
am finally free and we will sign this. We'll get
it out to you, send you this book. What's the
(37:32):
gospel that this book is talking about, Preston, what's the
gospel that we talk about? The gospel that sets people
free from moralism, that sets people free from the power
of sin.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
I just thought back to Romans four where Paul talks
about Abraham and God's righteousness being credited to him because
a worker gets what is due. His wages are due
to him. It's not favor, it's what he earned. And
we know from Romans six that the wages of sin
is death, but the free gift of God is eternal
(38:09):
life in Christ Jesus our Lord. So all we do
is just earn death and earn wrath for ourselves. And
then Jesus threw his sacrifice on the cross and importantly
his resurrection. Otherwise his death on the cross doesn't mean anything.
His resurrection and his life now at the right hand
of the Father allows us to be imputed with his
(38:31):
righteousness and works. Does earn salvation, but not your works.
The works of Christ are given to our account so
that we can be seen as righteous by the Father.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Amen. And for all who did receive Him, who believed
in his name, he gave them the right to become
children of God. That's the promise we have. We miss anything,
be good? Any final comments, all right, We'll be praying
for Parker. When we come back next week, Lord willing,
we will have a name of this mysterious baby that
(39:07):
Parker and Amy we're going to have. We'll see you
guys next week.
What's up in Granger?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I mean yet, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
I'm Tyler and I'm Preston.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
We've got a guess. We've got Preston here.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
He knows the rules too.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
He knows the rules. He's seen enough. Preston Duffy has
sat many times in the chair right next to so
over here. So it's not that big a deal for
you to step in for your brother Parker. Who is
Parker is currently in the hospital with his wife Amy
having a baby today. Pretty Grady.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
It's wild exciting.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And we he was going to come, he was gonna
come and be on the podcast today and this morning
they facetimed Tyler and I and she's going like like
bending over breathing. This girl is also a former college athlete,
like uh SEC champ played volleyboard for Texas A and
(00:51):
M Do you know that SEC championship team.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
He told me that when we ate dinner Sunday.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah. And she's not like the you know, a bench warmer.
She was like one of the star players I don't
know volleyball. She was like the short one. What do
they call that? The love barrow? Thank you.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
She's a little barrow, which leads into our podcast today
about what to look for and a woman athletic?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
What do women? What? What do men want out of? No,
let's change that men only want one thing. Say something
like that, that's what we'll talk about. And that's not
we're not relating this to Amy and Parker at all
somehow that just uh, we're basically saying we're Parker is
going to be on here. He called us this morning
and it was like, actually, the contractions are five minutes
(01:38):
apart now, so we're head in the hospital and you said,
well you could still come right and Amber laughed at you.
Maybe so maybe I did. So we got pressing and brote,
thank you for filling in for Parker. Yeah, I have
total confidence in you. Man. You've seen you're kind of
like Marv in the old days. Also, you are both
(02:00):
from South South Carolina. But Mark from the old days
was a listener of the podcast before we were friends.
Is that true? Would you say that of you? You
were a listener of this podcast before you and.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
I habitual listener?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, that's so crazy A lot.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
I was with Mav the other day.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
I don't know if you know this story, and it
was me, Mavin Preston and mav goes Preston, why do
you talk like that?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
From South Carolina?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
He's Maverick said that it's amazing, it was fun. That's
amazing that he's catching. He's catching that he sounds different.
So Preston, long time listening to the podcast. Now, member
of our church moved here several months ago, and now
(02:47):
you're like, you know, we talk every single day, ten
times a day, which is part of what we do
in a local church. You know, we live life alongside
each other. But you man, you also have a history
of your own that's worth probably its own episode on
this podcast. But you went pretty far in American Idol
(03:08):
two thousand and twenty three. That's right, Oh yeah, you
got it twenty three. Yeah, and now you have the
Lord has put a hook in your mouth and your
jaw and and you and has drawn you to himself
in a in a way that's so encouraging to watch,
(03:28):
so fun to watch. And so that's why I feel
like you're going to be perfect guests on this podcast.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Yeah, thank the Lord for that.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
We could bring you on another time. Actually, comment below,
say this if you're watching on YouTube, or cruise over
to our YouTube channel and say I want to hear
Presson's story, and we'll stack that up and then we'll
bring you back and we'll actually get you in here
and get you to tell your story because it's.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
A good one.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I mean, I've heard it many times and it's still
exciting for me. Yeah. Amen, So what you know we
would think about this? Men only want one thing from
a woman. We partly say that because it's because it's
a title that it's worth digging into. But this conversation
started this morning Tyler and I were we're sitting around.
(04:16):
I guess we were. You spent the night last night, Tyler,
with Maverick and Lincoln. Maverick slept on you pretty much
last night. Y'all slept in the barn, so you didn't sleep,
actually slept grangers.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
Are you sure you know what you're doing? Like he's
wild sleeper like kicks and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
But he was good.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
But what brought up this morning? We worked out and
then we were talking about girls because you're single, pressing single.
Aunt man and I are both married and you guys
are single, so this will be a good convo. What
started that, I guess.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
We're just going to get into it because I think
we were talking about You're asking about what we should
talk about, and I was talking about, well, last time,
I was talking about kind of like falling back into
sin and like, how do you fight against it? And
I hate my sin? And then I was like, well,
between you and me, but now everybody on the podcast,
I was like, I'm kind of dealing with like temptation and.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Lust and that sort of stuff. And I was like,
I don't want to say that.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
I don't want to talk about it because lust sounds
just such a dirty word and it's embarrassing and being
vulnerable and.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
People love that about you though people people comment all
the time I'm with Tyler. I agree with that. I
love Tyler so honest. That's you know, all the questions
and so it's great that you're saying this.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Yeah. So yeah.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
So that's how the conversation started. And then I said
that the Amber reposted something on her Instagram a video
of John Piper and it was about a proverb thirty
one woman and John Piper just started off in the
video and he said strength and dignity are her clothing
and then pause a little bit and then went into
the rest of videos. But I was like, oh, wait, oh,
(05:53):
strength and dignity are her clothing? Strength and dignanty art.
So that just kept I kept repeating that that. I
feel like the Lord kind of just opened my eyes
because been struggling with Like, hopefully people in the comments
can be like, yeah, me too, because it's hard to
talk about.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
But it's like, as a guy, it's like.
Speaker 5 (06:12):
You see a beautiful woman and what she might be wearing,
you know, like just for instance, Stagecoach just came up,
you know, came up recently, and everybody likes to wear
you know, revealing clothing, and so I still struggle with that.
You know, I think the Lord is slowly changing what
I find attractive in a woman, and I pray that
(06:34):
he does. But yeah, it's just hard as a guy
to see, you know, a very attractive woman wearing clothing
showing revealing, revealing clothing. And I used to be attracted
to that. I used to you know, talk to girls
that wore that, or DM girls that wore that and stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
But do you blame girls for that? That's interesting?
Speaker 5 (06:58):
No, No, no, that's I mean I'll start with myself
and you know, deleting, removing, removing stumbling blocks, whether that's
deleting whatever social media app is causing you to stumble,
or removing yourself from conversations with certain girls out of
(07:21):
just protecting myself and you know, fleeing youthful passions.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Let me let me double click on that again, though.
Do you get frustrated with girls when they dress like
that in front of you? No, it's not a trick question.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
It's just observation because I can't I can't control.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I can control where my eyes go and my thoughts go,
that's good.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I kind of say that too, because like in the
Muslim culture, the husbands will make their wives wear the
big gowns, you know, and and part of that is
so that they'll they'll tell you they have told me,
it's so that my wife doesn't cause my brother to
stumble or or or a man on the street to stumble.
(08:07):
But there's also a jealousy underneath that, you know, And
there's a control, there's an authoritative control underneath all that too,
and all of us have that, all of us have
that you didn't fall for it at all when I
asked you the question, you, I think rightly put it
all on yourself. But I think sometimes we think man, well,
(08:27):
don't dress like that, and I won't look at you
like that. Don't wear a shirt like that, And maybe
I wouldn't. My eyes wouldn't go there. How could they
not go there and immediately put it on the girl?
Is there anything to say to the girl? You've got
a niece that's.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Fourteen, Well, I think that's different raising you know, you
as her father, like just kind of from a different
perspective than the mother, you know, the father and the
uncle saying hey, you know, don't you know, pull that
shirt down a little bit, don' show your belly button
or whatever you're saying. I think, yeah, like kind of
some godly wisdom is helpful with family. But I'm not
(09:07):
going to tell a stranger somebody I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
No, No, I don't think. I don't. I know you wouldn't.
I know you wouldn't. What would you say, man, I'm
putting you on the spot today. What would you say
to girls that are listening right now about how they dress? Oh?
Speaker 5 (09:24):
Man, I would say I would just point back to Jesus,
like the Matthew six thirty three. You know, which helps
me is seek first the Kingdom of God and his
righteousness and all these things will be added to you.
So you know, from my understanding of that verse and
what I'm dealing with, it's like, you know, just put
a put a video out on my Instagram, you know,
(09:44):
stop looking for a wife. Stop stop looking and seeking
for it, and just put my eyes back on Jesus,
and all these things will be added to you. Like
if if the Lord decides to bring a woman in
my life and marriages in my future, great, but I
would tell them to do to seek first Jesus. Yeah,
you're not saying, don't seek Jesus and then he'll give
(10:05):
you a wife. That's not what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
No, you're you're saying that those who seek the Lord
lack no good thing. Yeah, exactly, and that lacking no
good thing could mean could mean he gives you wife.
I could not.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Yeah, I mean I used to, and I'm changing my
mind on this because you used to always say, you
know whatever, go go find me a wife.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I want to be you know uncle.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Find you a wife so I could have a sister
in law. Yes, yeah, yeah, you want a sister in law.
And I'd be like man, I'm like Paul, man, I'm good.
Like he said you know he was single. But then
Paul says, if you can't, if you can't, was he say,
if you can't control yourself, I recommend marriage basically if
you struggled with us, if you're struggling with un marriage,
And so I used to always think, yeah, I'm good, dude,
(10:50):
I'm like, I got the self control thing down, like
I am so disciplined, and then boom, a picture hits you,
or a text or a call or something comes you
know in your life, you know recently for me, it's like,
oh wow, whoops, I am not as strong as I
thought I was, plea, And you know, so it goes
(11:11):
straight to prayer forgive me Lord, and and then just
change your mom Maybe maybe I am so get married.
Maybe I can't control this like I thought I could.
You know what's crazy when you say that? Though, you
you said, oh whoa, I'm not as strong as I
thought I was, which that's true. But what we all
hear too, what we hear you say is you're a
(11:34):
lot stronger in the Lord now than you were before.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, it's like it takes wisdom, it takes takes strengthen
the Lord, trusting the Lord for you to say what
you just said, yeah, I guess so, and to see that,
to see your sanctification, which all of us are being sanctified,
all Christians are being sanctified from the moment of conversion
when the Lord saves them. Then there's this process of
(12:01):
being saved, and that is the rest of our lives
as a Christian. And then there's the moment of glorification,
which is you are saved. So we we were saved
as Christians were being saved, and we will be saved.
And that the whole being saved is sanctification. It's being
conformed to the image of Christ. And when you say
(12:21):
things like that, doller, that is so like your Your
sanctification has ramped up even since we started this podcast.
From go from thinking like the old the older days
of the EEE podcast. You talk more now, you have
more biblical wisdom. Now the fact that you used to
relate yourself to Paul thinking I think I'm just called
(12:45):
the singleness like I'm good and now for you to go, actually,
I'm not good. I think I think I struggle with this.
Speaker 5 (12:52):
It's tough. It's tough though, because you know, like Marshall
texted me, man, I I'm so encouraged by the latest podcast.
And on the surface, I'm like, yeah, thank you, but
he doesn't know what I'm like really struggling.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
With another sign of your sanctification.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
And then you saying, man, I'm so encouraged by you.
It's like, well, you don't. My brother doesn't really know
what I'm struggling with. And I don't have some deep
dark secret like that I'm going to reveal it all.
I just kind of, like I was saying last episode,
it's like, man, I'm just really growing to hating my sin.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
And uh hopefully Yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
It's like Peter getting out of the boat and sinking,
and it's like it's like me similar with like looking
at this this sin and like taking my eyes off
Jesus and whoops, here I go. I'm sinking now, and
the Lord is like, put your eyes back on me.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
So good man, so encouraging, suppressing. You're twenty five, just
turned twenty five a few weeks ago, but without without
getting into your testimony, you're seeing things with new eyes now.
So now, how do you see a dating future for
(14:10):
you with girls?
Speaker 3 (14:12):
How do you.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
How are you handling it? And how do you see.
Speaker 5 (14:16):
It give them something good that you're really struggling with.
So live story doesn't sound bad.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Just to be clear, like a lot of these ideas
that Tyler's sharing their first grengthy in seven right, Paul's
making this argument of like, hey, if you're married, cool,
If you're not, that's cool, but don't think you need
to switch because you're newly born again and don't think
you have to pursue marriage. You shared this idea from
a brother of ours a few weeks ago on the
podcast of Man, just pray for patience for me, and
(14:46):
you're like, hey, you don't need patience, you need contentment
in where you are right now, you know. So that's
just to make the long story short, that's where I am.
I'm just trying to really be content newly born again.
You know, I thought I was a Christian for a
long time, but I'm newly born again like five months ago,
so I want to give it some time. You know,
(15:06):
I'm not really that's not extremely high on my priority
list right now. So that's kind of where I am.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Yeah, So you're saying the way you're thinking through this
is you're trying to not take as as seriously, maybe
as you did before.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Yeah, for sure, I got a lot of identity and
acceptance and a lot of like, what's the word I'm
looking for?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Like, I got a lot of my You don't like
to be alone? Do you? And it's okay to say that,
And I say that because.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
You encourage me when you're always reaching out and having
dinners and meetings and I'm kind of more of an introvert.
But is that is that you being an extrovert or
is that you not being able to be alone? And
does that relate to you always kind of winning a girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
That makes sense?
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah, I think that could go into a whole other
thing too, because I didn't always necessarily just want a girlfriend.
A lot of the times in my sin, I just
wanted my attention to be taken up for an afternoon
or a weekend or something. You know, I didn't I
didn't actually want the commitment, which is a whole nother story.
But as far as like going and eating and talking
(16:16):
to guys and inviting you, that's just that goes back
to me being content with the Lord in this newness
and seeing things in a new way. Is trying to
be content with him and learn about him and pour
into discipleship, both receiving it from guys older than me
and the faith and poured into guys younger than me
and the faith in a way, So is it the church.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
And church members so cool? Where it's like, you know,
before this podcast, you and me were kind of talking.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
A little bit about the topic today.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
And like how we're able to like be vulnerable and
like have a brother like understand and like point, oh,
that reminds me of First Corinthians and like like oh, yeah,
then I'll go read that and they're like, yeah, I'll
be praying for you, brother, and yeah, so encouraging important
to be around other believers in that respect.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
Validation that's the word I was looking for.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
You needed to be validated absolutely, Yeah, through the attention
of a female.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Yeah. I think there's something to be said for if
you kind of want that too much, that's a good
sign to maybe kind of starve yourself from it in
a way. Oh yeah, Like, hey, Christ is enough. Christ
is enough. That's been my whole thing lately, is like
Jesus is enough right now. He doesn't need help to
make you satisfied.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Yeah, no doubt. And you know, if someone's listening or
not they don't identify as a Christian. This stuff sounds
really weird what we're saying. It sounds really weird. But
we would say that because of the perfect life and
death and resurrection of Christ and his atonement of our
(17:48):
sin at the cross, meaning his absorption of what God's
punishment that was meant for us was absorbed into Christ,
therefore setting us free for those that repent and look
to Him and by faith, we would say that the
life that flows from that seeks to seeks to please God,
(18:10):
you could say it that way. And in pleasing God,
we want to be fully satisfied with him, fully validated
by what He has done for us and his love
for us by sending his son right. And from that
that then flows down the stream of relationships and we go, well,
(18:33):
now I'm seeking a relationship, not to fill a hole
in my heart, not to fix some missing piece or
the whole. You know, you complete me. Jerry maguire idea, Well, no,
I'm already complete. I'm already complete in Christ, and I
don't need, I don't need another human to completely complete me.
(18:54):
But then we look to the Bible and we see
that it's not good for man to be alone, and
Eve was given to Adam as as as a helper,
so that they compliment each other beautifully, each Adam and
Eve each being perfectly complete in themselves in Christ, but
not needing, not needing anything from each other except for
(19:19):
they compliment each other. Two complete beings complimenting each other.
And as you start thinking about all of this, so
you start thinking about dating differently. Do you want to
you want to walk us through Proverbs thirty one ten
to thirty one, which is I think interesting for four
(19:40):
dudes to sit around and walk through Proverbs thirty one
ten to thirty one, because this is a This is
the women's passage. This is when women. Women look at this,
Women talk about this, Women post this on their Instagram.
Women put this, you know, they print it out and
put it in their bathroom so they could look at
it when they're putting on their makeup. Men don't really
(20:00):
sit around too often and look up it, look at this.
So let's just observe it and see considering what men
really want, all men really want, but then consider being
made new in Christ. Consider how these things start to
become attractive. Let's think of it from that perspective.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, Verse ten an excellent wife who could find she
is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her
husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack
of gain. She does him good and not harm All
the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands. She is like the ships
(20:44):
of the merchant. She brings her food from afar. She
rises while it is yet night and provides food for
her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a
field and buys it with the fruit of her hands.
She plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and
makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
(21:08):
Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts
her hands to the dye staff, and her hands hold
the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and
reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not
afraid of snow for her household. For all of her
household or clothed in scarlet, she makes bed coverings for herself.
(21:29):
Her clothing is fine, linen and purple. Her husband is
known in the gates when he sits among the elders
of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them.
She delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are
her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of
(21:50):
kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the
ways of her household and does not eat the bread
of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed.
Her husband also and he praises her. Many women have
done excellently, but you surpassed them all. Charm is deceitful,
(22:10):
and beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the
Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit
of her hands, and let her works praise her in
the gates.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You should do radio. I'll think about it. And you
got a little emotional a couple of times. What do
you think about when you read that?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Well, I mean, I'm literally from the time this comes
out two weeks away from marrying my oldest daughter. Yeah,
And so thinking this through is that you know, guys,
we think about well, you know, granger and not being
the married guys, you guys being the single guys. It is.
I love this, but also think it comes with a
(22:58):
burden a wife comes with a burden too, because we
like to talk about that women should submit to their husbands,
but husbands should be you love your wife like Christ
loved the church and what did he do? Laid down
his life. That's that's a big, big calling and should
not just be passed over. So while we look for
(23:20):
I mean, you know, God provides this woman, so are
he does that? I think in the time that He
has prepared you as well, you know, And uh, that's
what I What did I hit? I hit something that
(23:41):
I can't hear anymore, maybe a bat everyone dead. I
hope that's not a sign of what's to come at
the wedding. My mic just cuts off, But you know,
that is that's something I think about as I you know,
I'll be able to see some people, but I'm mainly
talking to my daughter and her soon to be husband
(24:03):
and just you know, for them, we've been going for
the past eighteen weeks through what it means to be
a husband and a wife, which I will I mean,
after you know, reading that, I think that's something that
should include in there. Not maybe not in the ceremony,
maybe some of it, but definitely something that they you know,
(24:24):
understanding what God has brought you aiden and which is
her fiance. And but then you know, just as much
as we what we look for is this God brings
that one. He's also prepared us as well, because there's
a calling for you as well.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You know what I thought about when you're talking about
there's a burden that comes with a wife, and there
is a burden that comes with following.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Christ, of course.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
But Christ says that that my burden is not cumbersome
to you. He says that my yoke is easy and
my burden is light. And think about what he says
when he says, my burden is easy for you. Okay,
(25:13):
look at people in history that have followed Christ and
been killed for it, been executed for it, been estranged
from their family for it, lost jobs for it, lost everything,
been imprisoned for it. And Jesus, though, is saying, oh,
my burden's easy. But I think what he means, and
it will relate this to the wife, is that when
(25:34):
you say, well look at me and Amber, or just
take me an Amber, you say, you know, wife, submit
to your husband's husband's love, your wife, as Christ loved
the church. And you said, and Christ laid down his
life for the church, meaning a husband would be ready
to lay down his wife life for his wife. And
I think in my mind I'll do that for Amber
(25:56):
with a smile.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Well but yes, Ashley, for me, Yeah, but for my wife, Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
I would take a bullet for her, and the last,
the last second before I get hit by that bullet,
I would start to smile. That's what Jesus means when
he says, Mayo, kaz Ezi, my burden is light. He's
not saying it's not heavy. It's not. It doesn't hurt,
(26:24):
it's not suffering, it's it's not. I mean, we're talking
the heaviest stuff to follow Christ to level wife is
some of the heaviest stuff a man could ever deal with.
And when Jesus says it's light, he means because you
have so much joy in doing it, then it's light.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Also thought that when you're saying that too, I think
of it is light, even the martyrs, it's light compared
to eternity because that death may be now, and it
may be awful, and it may be horrible they are
and so many times, but it's not everlasting.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeah. Yeah, And so the death of sin is that's
exactly right, having that eternal mindset. And then you look
here and look at this verse thirty. Charm is deceitful,
beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord
is to be praised. Yeah, that's such an interesting way
to say it. We were talking about this earlier that
it doesn't say, but a woman who fears the Lord
(27:30):
will lack no good thing. That's what the psalms say,
or that a woman who fears the Lord is very wise,
she is all those things, but it says is to
be praised. Guys, I think that's talking about us. I
think it's talking about us. We should be in their sanctification,
(27:51):
like we talked about increasingly attracted as single man, not
me and you ant attracted to women like this.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Well, and I do a point it to us too.
It's what I find attractive about my wife.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
And that's what we should find attractive about our wives. Yeah,
that's what Tyler impressing. Ideally in their sanctification, should increasingly
be attracted to a woman like this, and you and
I should be increasingly attracted to the characteristics of our
wife like this and encouraged. Now we could do a
deep dive. I know that this has been torn apart.
(28:29):
This is probably thirty one, So that's not what this
podcast is about. Deep diving the elements of what it
means to have a working woman at home cooking food.
You know, we're not going to go there, and I
don't think I don't think that's the it would be
the intention here. So you know, some people say this
(28:49):
is Solomon talking about his mom. It's been we don't
We don't really know, but it's been thought that this
is Solomon talking about his mother, which is another interesting
thing if you think about who Solomon's mother is. Oh sure,
so so anyway, this could be a deep dive. But
I think for you two single guys, do you feel
(29:09):
like the Lord has shaped your heart to look less
for the outer clothing and more towards what Tyler was
talking about verse twenty five, strength and dignity or her clothing.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Is Solomon's mom Bathsheba?
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Yeah, yeah, that is a whole story in and of it,
So yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Say the question again, do you feel like the Lord
is increasingly changing your heart to be more attracted to
the clothing of strength and dignity and a woman who's
fearing the Lord.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
I mean, I hope so because everything I've done in
my own power has failed miserably.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
So yeah, you were.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
You were just talking about that though, and just man like,
the longer I live, the more I I'm less and
less attracted to the things I was because they're vanity,
like he writes later, like everything that we think is
so good in this world is vanity. Like only find
(30:15):
you know, validation and long lasting contentment and what is eternal?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
If you read the Bible straightforward in order, then then
literally the next line is vanity of vanities. So that's
the preacher. Vanity of vanity is all is vanity in
your ecclesiastic.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Clesias, Yeah, there was.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
I was telling you. It's there's two things that come
to mind when you know some girls wearing a revealing
stagecoach outfitted that festival. If I'm flipping through Instagram or something.
The first thought that comes to my mind as well,
that's not my wife. Yeah you know however that sounds
to to anybody listening like my wife. And the second
(30:59):
thought is whoever my future wife is, wherever she is
in the world at this moment.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
I don't want my eyes to be on that. You know,
I want that to be reserved for her.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
Feel like it would be unattractive to a really God
fearing woman in her eyes to see us like even
enjoying that, you know, like that wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Be out of respect to her.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Yeah, but I like how you know, we talked about
you know, loving your wife like Christ love the church.
That guys love to quote that. Well, you should be
submissive to your husband. Read the read the other verse,
you know, because the responsibility goes to you as the man.
And like Joe, we're going through job right now. We're
talking a lot about that and job thirty one to one.
(31:45):
I have made a covenant with my eyes? How then
could I gaze at a virgin? Now, virgin's just a
young woman that's never been married in that context. But
but he's taken responsibility, Like I'm making a covenant with
my eyes. You've talked about cove eyes on this yeah
podcast a lot. That's where that comes from, I would imagine.
But it's like he takes responsibility for that. It starts
(32:08):
with us, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, flowing from a redeemed heart,
right exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
You wouldn't nobody would say that unless the Lord gives
them that, yeah, the ability to make that covenant.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
We also wouldn't say to any girl that's listening right now,
we wouldn't. We wouldn't say, hey, all you women out
there need to You need to clothe yourself with dignity
and strength. You know, you need to make linen garments
and sell them. You need to deliver sashes to the merchant.
You need to make your bed covering for yourself. You
(32:42):
don't don't go to Walmart and buy your bed covering.
You need to be women, you need to be making it.
So what we would say is we would say, fear
the Lord, seek the Lord, and look at the the
bloom that comes from the reign of seeking the Lord.
(33:05):
You know. And so what I say that because we
don't ever on this podcast ever want to preach moral
correction to everyone, especially non believers. We don't want someone
that doesn't identify as a Christian to We don't want
to pharisee them to death and say you should be
(33:26):
doing this. You know, you need to be wearing that. Women,
you need to stop wearing what you're wearing. You to
put your hair in a bun. You need to wear
a dress, no pants, for a woman. We don't want
to say that, because that's just moral correction. We want
to say, always look to Christ, who went to the cross,
who died the death you deserved, and was raised three
(33:48):
days later. All who look to him will be forgiven.
And from him. From that redeemed person flows a wealth
of obedience that is not burdensome. It is a joy
to live for the Lord. And from that you start
to see men and women changing the way they think
(34:10):
about themselves. And part of it is the way they dress.
This goes from this goes from men too. I could
already see the comments, Hey, it's not just about how
women dress. Guys, what do you What are you wearing?
What are you guys wearing? You know, you can think
about what you're wearing as well. I remember that with
the old earl dibbles days. I remember after I was redeemed,
(34:32):
I was doing the whole earl dibbles, pull off the
tank top, you know, And I remember a woman was
like emailed. It was like, hey, I went to the
concert and that that wasn't a good moment. You know,
you're not. I don't think you're thinking about the women
in the audience. You're you're just thinking about your perspective,
and I was like, oh, she got me. I never
(34:55):
did it after that, never did it one time after that. Anyway,
got a book to you with, Oh awesome. Yeah. This
was called Finally Free Heath Lambert. It's a really good book,
Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace. It's almost
exactly what we just said. Fighting for purity is what
(35:15):
Preston is saying. It's on you make a covenant, protect
your eyes. You need to take responsibility then with the
power of grace. If you do it by yourself, it's moralism,
it's behavioral correction. But if you do it with the
power of grace, then it's a godly obedience. To This book,
(35:39):
From a Life of Struggle to a Life of Purity.
Eight Gospel centered strategies for overcoming pornography. So the thing is,
it's a it matches what we're saying today, and I
know this is a big struggle. Pornography is all around us,
destroys marriages and leaves users in a warped view of
sexual Sadly, many Christians not only struggle to resist the
(36:03):
lure of pornography, they are addicted, trapped by its power.
Breaking out of it of the deceitful web of pornography,
as many know only too well, does not happen through
merely trying harder to change are following a particular method
or program. The only sure and effective motivation for change
is the grace of Jesus, and this book, experienced counselor
(36:25):
and teacher he Lambert, identifies eight strategies, each based on
the work of Christ, that give people locked that get
people that are locked in the grip of pornography both
the fuel and a roadmap for change. Each chapter is
grounded in grace and clearly articulates how to apply the
Gospel in practical ways. And then it says, whether you
struggle yourself for trying to help someone else who's struggling,
(36:48):
Here's there is good news. No matter how intense or
how long standing, the fight Jesus Christ can will and
does set people free from the power of pornography. We
will sign this. I'm finally free it I'm finally free.
Comment on our YouTube page which is ninety nine for
(37:08):
one the podcast on YouTube. Go there. You can also
do it on Facebook too well. Post this on Facebook,
don't we Yes, we do. Yeah. So if you want
to go find us on Facebook. You could you could
put you could comment as well, and that's just on
the Greater Smith. Yeah, on Greater Smith Facebook page. I
am finally free and we will sign this. We'll get
it out to you, send you this book. What's the
(37:32):
gospel that this book is talking about, Preston, what's the
gospel that we talk about? The gospel that sets people
free from moralism, that sets people free from the power
of sin.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
I just thought back to Romans four where Paul talks
about Abraham and God's righteousness being credited to him because
a worker gets what is due. His wages are due
to him. It's not favor, it's what he earned. And
we know from Romans six that the wages of sin
is death, but the free gift of God is eternal
(38:09):
life in Christ Jesus our Lord. So all we do
is just earn death and earn wrath for ourselves. And
then Jesus threw his sacrifice on the cross and importantly
his resurrection. Otherwise his death on the cross doesn't mean anything.
His resurrection and his life now at the right hand
of the Father allows us to be imputed with his
(38:31):
righteousness and works. Does earn salvation, but not your works.
The works of Christ are given to our account so
that we can be seen as righteous by the Father.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Amen. And for all who did receive Him, who believed
in his name, he gave them the right to become
children of God. That's the promise we have. We miss anything,
be good? Any final comments, all right, We'll be praying
for Parker. When we come back next week, Lord willing,
we will have a name of this mysterious baby that
(39:07):
Parker and Amy we're going to have. We'll see you
guys next week.
Host
Granger Smith
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