March 31, 2026 • 9 mins
It’s Been 161 Years Since the Assassination of Abraham Lincoln. He’s Considered Our Greatest President. His Wife Mary Todd Lincoln However, Hasn’t Fared So Well in the Historical Narrative. But There’s a Deeper, More Complex Reason for That.
Feel Free to DM Me if You Have a Story You’d Like Me to Cover . . On Facebook It’s Patty Steele and on Instagram Real Patty Steele.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, in case you didn't know this about me, I
am a major fangirl of Abraham Lincoln. And as we
close in on the one hundred and sixty first anniversary
of his assassination, it seems fitting that we take a
look at the person seated next to him at Ford's
Theater that good Friday evening in eighteen sixty five, his
somewhat wacky wife, Mary Todd Lincoln. But she was way
(00:23):
more complex than the term wacky would imply. I'm Patty Steele.
Mary Todd Lincoln was smart, driven, ambitious, and passionate. She
was also pretty clearly mentally ill. That's next on the backstory.
The backstory is back History loves to simplify huge events.
(00:46):
It's a way to tell the story without getting into
the weeds. But sometimes digging into the weeds is where
you find the most fascinating stuff. Mary Todd Lincoln was
sitting next to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theater on April fourteenth,
eighteen six six five. His assassination that night and his
death early the next morning left her an emotional wreck
(01:06):
for the rest of her life, but the disintegration of
her emotional state started decades earlier. Mary Todd was born
to wealthy parents in Lexington, Kentucky, in eighteen eighteen. Her
parents had seven children before Mary's mother died in childbirth
when Mary was just six years old. The next year,
her father remarried and had nine more children. Unfortunately for Mary,
(01:31):
her stepmom, now raising sixteen children, tended to favor her
own children over the original seven. Family members said Mary
was jealous of the younger children and threw really vicious
temper tantrums. As a kid, she clearly felt unloved and unlovable.
At fourteen, she was sent to boarding school. Now, on
(01:51):
the upside, she was terrific student and a very social
young woman. But again, she was also considered to be sarcastic, difficult, volatile,
and super emotional. Friends and teachers described her as having
extreme highs and lows, maybe an early sign of bipolar disorder. Ah.
(02:11):
Now here's where sweet easygoing Abe Lincoln comes into the picture.
He loved her sparkle and her intelligence, and her ambition
matched his own. Problem was his mild mannered approach to
life allowed her frequent temper tantrums to control their life together.
Lincoln's law partner in Springfield, Illinois, before the White House,
(02:33):
years said he always knew when there was trouble in
the Lincoln House because all six foot four inches of
Abe would be curled up sleeping on a small couch
in their office when he got to work in the
morning after he had escaped her anger. He said, Lincoln
would frequently have bandages on his face and arms after
she'd physically attacked him with anything from hot coffee dishes
(02:57):
to even a log. Abe's private secret Terry's in the
White House called her the Hellcat, and in a biography
of their boss, said she caused him a lifetime of misery.
On the other hand, while he was a kind and
forgiving husband, he was pretty aloof. In fact, during his
years as a traveling lawyer, he spent as much as
(03:17):
eight months a year away from home. Mary hated that
since she had a bundle of things that scared her,
including thunderstorms as well as the fear of house fires
and burglars, plus she had to take care of their
children alone during that time, So the more volatile she became,
the more he withdrew into his own world. At one point,
(03:38):
a friend asked him how he put up with her tantrums,
and he replied if only you knew how little harm
it does me and how much good it does her,
you wouldn't wonder. Of course, In eighteen sixty one, the
couple moved into the White House and never had a
moment of peace. After that. Mary started a massive makeover
of the house, which, to be fair, was in terrible
(04:00):
condition when they arrived. But within a month the Civil
War had broken out and she was spending a fortune
on decorating with expensive rugs, furniture, carpets, as well as china, silver, crystal,
and all kinds of decore. The more the press attacked her,
the more her spending got out of control. She wasn't
just buying for the house, now she was buying for herself.
(04:24):
She wanted to make herself look worthy. She had lavish
gowns made and within a few months bought as many
as four hundred pairs of expensive kid gloves. She even
tried to hide her debts with fake invoices. As the
press piled on her, she tried to keep a good front.
She knew that everything she wore, how she entertained, and
(04:44):
how she supported her husband and family would be dissected
in the press. It literally drove her crazy. And the
press took part in it, Also contributing to her depression,
She and Abe lost their favorite child, eleven year old
Willie Lincoln, a smart, gentle little boy. They'd lost their
second born son, Eddie, at the age of four, back
(05:05):
in eighteen fifty. But now it was the winter of
eighteen sixty two and the war was not going well.
Both Willie and their youngest son, Tad came down with
typhoid fever, probably from a contaminated water source. Tad recovered,
Willie did not. It broke both Mary and Abe's hearts.
When he died. It took her months to even leave
(05:27):
her room. She didn't even attend Willy's funeral. In the aftermath,
she refused to allow Willie and Tad's two best friends
back into the White House because she said it reminded
her of her loss. Now little Tad had lost his
big brother and his two pals. Mary never really recovered
from that loss, but life and the war continued. By
(05:48):
eighteen sixty four, the war effort had paid off, and
abelink In won re election. Now it's April, the war
has just ended, and Mary and Abe can breathe a
little bit easier. For the first time in four years.
Until that night at Ford's Theater. Both of them were
bothered by Abe's dreams a few days earlier about seeing
(06:09):
his own body lying in state in the East room
of the White House. In the dream, he asks a
guard what happened and is told the president has been assassinated. But,
feeling they need a night out, they head to the theater.
A little over an hour later, John Wilkes Booth takes
aim during a scene where the audience was laughing and
(06:29):
shoots Lincoln in the head. After the assassination, Mary Todd
Lincoln is completely unable to come to grips with what
has happened. She's in a total state of hysteria, to
the point that she's forcibly removed from the room where
her husband lies dying so doctors can do what they
need to do. Then, after returning to the White House,
(06:50):
she does the same thing she did after Willie's death.
She doesn't even leave her bedroom to go to Abe's funeral.
For weeks, she refuses to leave the White House, even
to allow the new president to move in. After she
leaves Washington, she and Tad, her youngest son, moved to Chicago,
near her oldest Robert, but Mary's grief never eased. The
(07:12):
only thing that made her happy were travel and shopping.
Despite having some money left to her by Abe, she
keeps spending. At one point, she tries selling her clothes
and other items to make some more money. It causes
a scandal, and she and Tad wound up moving to
Germany for a few years to get away from it.
They return in eighteen seventy one, but Tad dies just
(07:35):
two months later. He was just eighteen years old. That
was devastating for Mary Todd, and her obsessive behavior led
her to contact spiritualists so she could communicate with her
dead husband and children. She traveled during that time, but
rushed back to Chicago after having a premonition that her
only surviving child, Robert, was dying. Of course, he was fine.
(07:59):
It was eighteen seven five and Robert decides Mary needs
to be institutionalized. He has to take her to court, though,
for an insanity trial to get her committed. She spends
several months in a fancy sanitarium, but eventually manages to
smuggle a letter out to her lawyer. She wins the
court case that followed, proving her sanity. After spending a
(08:21):
few years in France, she returns home to Springfield and
moves in with her sister, but her relationship with her
son Robert never recovers. Mary Todd Lincoln died in July
of eighteen eighty two, and she's buried next to her
husband and her three youngest sons in Springfield, Illinois. She
was sixty three years old. Her struggles with mental illness
(08:43):
and devastating personal losses contributed to the complexity of her
place in history. I hope you like the Backstory with
Patty Steele. Please leave a review. I would love it
if you'd subscribe or follow for free to get new
episodes delivered automatically. So feel free to dm me if
you have a story you'd like me to cover. On Facebook,
(09:04):
It's Patty Steele and on Instagram Real Patty Steele. I'm
Patty Steele. The Backstories a production of iHeartMedia, Premiere Networks,
the Elvis Duran Group, and Steel Trap Productions. Our producer
is Doug Fraser. Our writer Jake Kushner. We have new
(09:24):
episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Feel free to reach out
to me with comments and even story suggestions. On Instagram
at Real Patty Steele and on Facebook at Patty Steele.
Thanks for listening to the backstory with Patty Steele, the
pieces of history you didn't know you needed to know.
Well, in case you didn't know this about me, I
am a major fangirl of Abraham Lincoln. And as we
close in on the one hundred and sixty first anniversary
of his assassination, it seems fitting that we take a
look at the person seated next to him at Ford's
Theater that good Friday evening in eighteen sixty five, his
somewhat wacky wife, Mary Todd Lincoln. But she was way
(00:23):
more complex than the term wacky would imply. I'm Patty Steele.
Mary Todd Lincoln was smart, driven, ambitious, and passionate. She
was also pretty clearly mentally ill. That's next on the backstory.
The backstory is back History loves to simplify huge events.
(00:46):
It's a way to tell the story without getting into
the weeds. But sometimes digging into the weeds is where
you find the most fascinating stuff. Mary Todd Lincoln was
sitting next to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theater on April fourteenth,
eighteen six six five. His assassination that night and his
death early the next morning left her an emotional wreck
(01:06):
for the rest of her life, but the disintegration of
her emotional state started decades earlier. Mary Todd was born
to wealthy parents in Lexington, Kentucky, in eighteen eighteen. Her
parents had seven children before Mary's mother died in childbirth
when Mary was just six years old. The next year,
her father remarried and had nine more children. Unfortunately for Mary,
(01:31):
her stepmom, now raising sixteen children, tended to favor her
own children over the original seven. Family members said Mary
was jealous of the younger children and threw really vicious
temper tantrums. As a kid, she clearly felt unloved and unlovable.
At fourteen, she was sent to boarding school. Now, on
(01:51):
the upside, she was terrific student and a very social
young woman. But again, she was also considered to be sarcastic, difficult, volatile,
and super emotional. Friends and teachers described her as having
extreme highs and lows, maybe an early sign of bipolar disorder. Ah.
(02:11):
Now here's where sweet easygoing Abe Lincoln comes into the picture.
He loved her sparkle and her intelligence, and her ambition
matched his own. Problem was his mild mannered approach to
life allowed her frequent temper tantrums to control their life together.
Lincoln's law partner in Springfield, Illinois, before the White House,
(02:33):
years said he always knew when there was trouble in
the Lincoln House because all six foot four inches of
Abe would be curled up sleeping on a small couch
in their office when he got to work in the
morning after he had escaped her anger. He said, Lincoln
would frequently have bandages on his face and arms after
she'd physically attacked him with anything from hot coffee dishes
(02:57):
to even a log. Abe's private secret Terry's in the
White House called her the Hellcat, and in a biography
of their boss, said she caused him a lifetime of misery.
On the other hand, while he was a kind and
forgiving husband, he was pretty aloof. In fact, during his
years as a traveling lawyer, he spent as much as
(03:17):
eight months a year away from home. Mary hated that
since she had a bundle of things that scared her,
including thunderstorms as well as the fear of house fires
and burglars, plus she had to take care of their
children alone during that time, So the more volatile she became,
the more he withdrew into his own world. At one point,
(03:38):
a friend asked him how he put up with her tantrums,
and he replied if only you knew how little harm
it does me and how much good it does her,
you wouldn't wonder. Of course, In eighteen sixty one, the
couple moved into the White House and never had a
moment of peace. After that. Mary started a massive makeover
of the house, which, to be fair, was in terrible
(04:00):
condition when they arrived. But within a month the Civil
War had broken out and she was spending a fortune
on decorating with expensive rugs, furniture, carpets, as well as china, silver, crystal,
and all kinds of decore. The more the press attacked her,
the more her spending got out of control. She wasn't
just buying for the house, now she was buying for herself.
(04:24):
She wanted to make herself look worthy. She had lavish
gowns made and within a few months bought as many
as four hundred pairs of expensive kid gloves. She even
tried to hide her debts with fake invoices. As the
press piled on her, she tried to keep a good front.
She knew that everything she wore, how she entertained, and
(04:44):
how she supported her husband and family would be dissected
in the press. It literally drove her crazy. And the
press took part in it, Also contributing to her depression,
She and Abe lost their favorite child, eleven year old
Willie Lincoln, a smart, gentle little boy. They'd lost their
second born son, Eddie, at the age of four, back
(05:05):
in eighteen fifty. But now it was the winter of
eighteen sixty two and the war was not going well.
Both Willie and their youngest son, Tad came down with
typhoid fever, probably from a contaminated water source. Tad recovered,
Willie did not. It broke both Mary and Abe's hearts.
When he died. It took her months to even leave
(05:27):
her room. She didn't even attend Willy's funeral. In the aftermath,
she refused to allow Willie and Tad's two best friends
back into the White House because she said it reminded
her of her loss. Now little Tad had lost his
big brother and his two pals. Mary never really recovered
from that loss, but life and the war continued. By
(05:48):
eighteen sixty four, the war effort had paid off, and
abelink In won re election. Now it's April, the war
has just ended, and Mary and Abe can breathe a
little bit easier. For the first time in four years.
Until that night at Ford's Theater. Both of them were
bothered by Abe's dreams a few days earlier about seeing
(06:09):
his own body lying in state in the East room
of the White House. In the dream, he asks a
guard what happened and is told the president has been assassinated. But,
feeling they need a night out, they head to the theater.
A little over an hour later, John Wilkes Booth takes
aim during a scene where the audience was laughing and
(06:29):
shoots Lincoln in the head. After the assassination, Mary Todd
Lincoln is completely unable to come to grips with what
has happened. She's in a total state of hysteria, to
the point that she's forcibly removed from the room where
her husband lies dying so doctors can do what they
need to do. Then, after returning to the White House,
(06:50):
she does the same thing she did after Willie's death.
She doesn't even leave her bedroom to go to Abe's funeral.
For weeks, she refuses to leave the White House, even
to allow the new president to move in. After she
leaves Washington, she and Tad, her youngest son, moved to Chicago,
near her oldest Robert, but Mary's grief never eased. The
(07:12):
only thing that made her happy were travel and shopping.
Despite having some money left to her by Abe, she
keeps spending. At one point, she tries selling her clothes
and other items to make some more money. It causes
a scandal, and she and Tad wound up moving to
Germany for a few years to get away from it.
They return in eighteen seventy one, but Tad dies just
(07:35):
two months later. He was just eighteen years old. That
was devastating for Mary Todd, and her obsessive behavior led
her to contact spiritualists so she could communicate with her
dead husband and children. She traveled during that time, but
rushed back to Chicago after having a premonition that her
only surviving child, Robert, was dying. Of course, he was fine.
(07:59):
It was eighteen seven five and Robert decides Mary needs
to be institutionalized. He has to take her to court, though,
for an insanity trial to get her committed. She spends
several months in a fancy sanitarium, but eventually manages to
smuggle a letter out to her lawyer. She wins the
court case that followed, proving her sanity. After spending a
(08:21):
few years in France, she returns home to Springfield and
moves in with her sister, but her relationship with her
son Robert never recovers. Mary Todd Lincoln died in July
of eighteen eighty two, and she's buried next to her
husband and her three youngest sons in Springfield, Illinois. She
was sixty three years old. Her struggles with mental illness
(08:43):
and devastating personal losses contributed to the complexity of her
place in history. I hope you like the Backstory with
Patty Steele. Please leave a review. I would love it
if you'd subscribe or follow for free to get new
episodes delivered automatically. So feel free to dm me if
you have a story you'd like me to cover. On Facebook,
(09:04):
It's Patty Steele and on Instagram Real Patty Steele. I'm
Patty Steele. The Backstories a production of iHeartMedia, Premiere Networks,
the Elvis Duran Group, and Steel Trap Productions. Our producer
is Doug Fraser. Our writer Jake Kushner. We have new
(09:24):
episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Feel free to reach out
to me with comments and even story suggestions. On Instagram
at Real Patty Steele and on Facebook at Patty Steele.
Thanks for listening to the backstory with Patty Steele, the
pieces of history you didn't know you needed to know.
Host
Patty Steele
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