FEELING THINGS: 5 Things to Say Instead of “It Will Be Okay” (Hint: Bring Cookies, Not Advice)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
All right, break it down.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won'ts home,
Amy and Cat got you covin locking, No, brother, ladies
and felts, you just follow an the spirit where it's
tell us the front real stuff to the chill stuff
and the m but Twayne, sometimes the best thing you
can do it just stop you feel things. This is

(00:27):
feeling things with.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
I'm Amy and I'm Cat, and today we're going to
get into things you can tell yourself so that you're
gonna think it's okay when it's really not okay.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
That's not what we're talking about.

Speaker 4 (00:41):
It seems to say when you're not sure if it's
gonna be okay.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
That's its close.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yeah, Cat being the licensed therapist, Yeah, she's gonna guide
us through five things to say instead.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Of it will be okay. Yeah, that's more like it.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
But before we get into that, I want to talk
about like we're reading or watching, what we're listening to
all the things.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
Can I share my feeling in the day first? Well, yeah,
that's normally how we start things.

Speaker 4 (01:07):
Okay, this was hard for me because I wanted to
say I was excited, but I'm not feeling excited. I
just was feeling fine, but find it's not a feeling,
so it took me a while to get here. I'm
just content, but I'm not usually just content. I feel
like I operate in like a you know, to both
sides of the spectrum and not in the center. So

(01:27):
I'm just feeling content.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
I like that you're sharing like a middle of the
road feeling because it normalizes it, like, yeah, because a
lot of times feelings are extreme. Yeah, and it's like
you can just be content.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
And there's nothing wrong with that, right.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
But if I'm just feeling content and I'm not usually
like that, somebody might think there's something wrong with me,
you know, because I'm not like hey, just like, Hi, what.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Are you all doing for Valentine's Day?

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Well, and this case, this is popping to my head
because I was texting with another friend earlier and she
was talking about how Valentine's Day is just kind of
always meh, and I was like, yeah, meh is a
good feeling. I know it's not an official feeling, but meh.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
We could add it to the wheel.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
We could add to the wheel of feelings just meh.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
So she's like, I don't really have high expectations. Just
kind of is what it is. And so I was like, oh,
I wonder what Captain Big p are doing. Well.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
I don't feel well, maybe I do feel mad about
Valentine's Day. It's just so close to our anniversary because
our anniversary is the sixteenth, which I chose that I
just like, wasn't thinking.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Right, And you don't have to get dressed up for
something like twice, Well.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
You don't even want to get dressed up for my anniversary.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Well I was thinking, gosh, if you have to get
dressed up on the fourteenth to go do something and
then you got to get dressed up on the sixteenth
to do something, I would definitely combine.

Speaker 3 (02:45):
Well, and you know me, I like to look forward
to something.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
So it's kind of annoying that these things are back
to back because also you don't want to spend or
I don't want to spend a lot of money, like
two days almost back to back.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
So last year we did good at well that's my idea.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
So I did good, but we ordered this is where
my pottery started.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
We ordered it.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
At home Pottery Kit and made pizza at home. The
pizzas were not good, but the pottery was really fun
and it was cute and we got to stay.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
In our pajamas. Oh yeah, I love that. Okay, this
year we have no fix. Well that's good.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
I mean, you don't have to we all. I mean,
what are you celebrating your second anniversary?

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Yeah? How boring? Like we've married two years now, we
have nothing planned.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
But also I feel like Valentine's Day is stressful to
go out because you have to get a reservation like
three months before.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
And it's on a Saturday night this year, or with
people that already are going out on a Saturday.

Speaker 4 (03:44):
And a lot of those restaurants do like prefixed menus,
and I'm like, I don't want the prefix menu.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
I want to pick what I want. I don't want
it to come with all those.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
Things, you know, So we're probably gonna go get pizza somewhere.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
That's so funny because like, I love a prefix menu
because I don't have to think.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
No, it just is what it is.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
But what if you want something, I don't have to
make a decision, But what if it's not what you wanted?
Probably gonna be good if you're going somewhere that has
a prefixed menu.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
I'm a little pickier than Yeah, that's true. So I, yeah,
what are you doing.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Going to the UVA versus Ohio basketball game at Bridgestone.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
You don't sound excited.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
I mean, it is what it is. It's on Valentine's Day,
it's a Saturday night. So it says it's confusing. If
you look at um online, it says like at Ohio.
So I got confused for a second, like, we're not.
I'm not going to Ohio for.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
You don't think I'm going to the basketball.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
Game on the Valentine's weekend. But it's at Bridgetone here
in Nashville, so at Ohio's home. I guess it's just
one of those games. Sometimes they play games where they
go meet somewhere at a neutral Lucky you.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
I don't know why UVA.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
And Ohio or playing a game of Bridgetone.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
But wait, is it the like SEC tournament or something?
Don't know it's ACCC.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, so I don't know we're doing we're doing that.
I have no idea if we're a bunch of so
my boyfriend went to UVA and a bunch of his
friends from college.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
They're all coming to Nashville.

Speaker 4 (05:19):
Is the person coming that you spill a drink? Yes, oh,
you get to have like a little round shoo, and.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
I like, please, I get the last sporting event I
saw her at the football game, I spilled a drink
and yeah, so my goal is going to be not
spill a drink on her again.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
So that's our big plan.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
But I like the idea of also if we were
to do something in addition to that, celebrate it being
low key, like you were saying, with making dinner at
home and maybe pottery I don't know, or something along
the list of.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
I don't see you and Alex to be potter. It's
like that we'll be like, whose ideal with that was?
I think he would.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
He's like it, surprisingly might be more down for it
than you think.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Okay, well then I challenge you to make pottery.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
The thing is, I don't know I want to do that. Okay, Well,
if you change your mind, I have all the supplies,
so just call me. Okay, what are you watching on TV?
Huh anything?

Speaker 1 (06:19):
I'm desperate for something to watch. I finished my documentary.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
Well we can talk about that. But I feel like
I'm in the same boat as you. I've been rolling
through things really fast. Like we watched His and Her
or Her. We watched another show I don't know the name.
I'm now watching The Pit season two. Here's the problem.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
Season one.

Speaker 4 (06:40):
I watched it after it had been out for months,
so all the episodes were I could.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
Just watch it.

Speaker 4 (06:46):
I watched it in like a week. They only released
one episode a week. It's driving me crazy. Yeah, that's
not how I It's like, I want to watch this
show so bad because I love it, but I also
want to watch it all at once, and so I
can't like have the self can to not watch it.
But then also when I watch it, I get mad
because I'm like, where's the other episode?

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Right? I think that I've I have a love hate
relationship with that style too. Obviously, obviously it's the only
way we could watch TV back in the day. However,
I do get excited when that day rolls around and
I'm like, oh it's Wednesday, or oh it's Thursday, and
I'm like, oh, there's a new episode up.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
Yeah it is.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
That's in evokes some sort of excitement and feeling around
that with TV impatience.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
Also watching Traders, which is one episode a week. Are
you into that? No, I don't even know.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
You've tried to tell me about it, and I don't
even know. You just had some game show.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
Oh it's a reality say game. It's not a game
show or a reality show. It's the best combination of both.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
And so it's not either of them, it's both, it's
both of them together.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
Patrick likes it.

Speaker 4 (07:47):
He doesn't really like reality TV, although he's gotten really
into Summerhouse.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
I keep seeing some just like the trash of the
reality and.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
You get into that.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
I keep seeing ads on Netflix for some show called
a Low and I don't really know what that is.
I don't know, but I'm like, it's like a real
show where people have to survive somewhere alone. And I'm like,
I want to go somewhere alone.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
Not not on that show.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
Yeah, I don't have to like figure it out and
survive for myself.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
But do you want to go on a trip.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Maybe maybe I just need to go, yeah, for like
a weekend alone somewhere or a day okay, a day trip.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
To leave her work or something. Well, you could do that.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yeah, I need to like work that in. I think
it would be very nice.

Speaker 4 (08:36):
Are you a like, would you travel alone on a
vacation by choice?

Speaker 3 (08:42):
I haven't yet, but yes I would when my desire that.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
I don't, okay, but I would do it if you
had to. I guess I wouldn't be out Here's okay,
here's my official answer. I haven't done it, but I'm
not opposed to it, Like it's not.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
To me. I don't even know that that's it. I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
When I see other people do it, I'm intrigued and
I'm like, Wow, that might be really cool to do
one day. I'm not like, oh, I would never do
that because some people, I think, look at that and
they're like that you never.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
Catch me doing that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
But like my sister when she went to visit my niece,
So her daughter was studying in Spain for college like
a semester, and my sister went over to see her.
But on her way to Spain, she stopped in Paris
for a couple of days by herself, and she went
and got like this charcuterie board. I don't know, maybe

(09:38):
by a little vendor or something, but it had like
fruit and cheese and meat, and like she got a
bottle of wine and she went and sat on the
grass by the Eiffel Tower, all by herself, and I
was like, that's so cool.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
I can't believe my sister's doing that.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
I was really proud of her, and I thought this
is a good trip for her, but she had a
final destination to be with somebody else, so it wasn't
like the full trip. And then we have another friend
and she's actually closer to you than me. I just
know her through you. But she went to I believe
it was Paris by herself.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
Oh yeah, she's actually traveled. She traveled to Spain by herself.
But she also talks to people like she's she meets
people and like she actually has gone on dates with people,
which is kind of scary.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Oh I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 4 (10:20):
But if you do that, you've got to share your
location with a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
And make sure they know.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
I'm also like one time, I was like, I'm going
to be the kind of person that can travel alone.
I don't even like to go eat by myself, you know,
but I think it would be different if you're in
a city.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
That nobody knows you, you know.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
So I did like a pretend alone trip where I
went to Chicago, with my friend, but then she had
a work event so she was gone for like a
day and a half. So I was there in Chicago
for a day and a half on myself, and I
took myself out to eat to get like deep Dish pizza,
which I decided I didn't like, just I want the
cheese on that time top of it. You know, Okay

(11:02):
dish pizza, Yes, I have it, just like wasn't the
one I didn't anyway. But I went to a bar
that's like I guess it was a famous type of place.
I looked it up, wouldn't go, and I'm staying at
the bar. This was like twenty nineteen, twenty twenty something
like that, and I remember thinking, I hope and nobody
talks to me. Like I was like, I got to

(11:22):
eat this fezza and get out because I don't want
aybody to talk to me.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
That's what people talk about it.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
I was like, you go to a bar, you sit,
you strick up in a conversation with a stranger, blah blah.
And I was like I wanted to be invisible, And
I said traveling alone is not for me.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, see, I think you have nailed that down for yourself,
like you know that.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
That's clear. I don't think I nailed that down. You're
better at conversating with random people than I am. You're
very can But do you enjoy it? I don't mind it.
I do want to get better at that. I want
to just be like a small talker, you know.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah, you know what I small talked about the other
night at a like a parent get together, And it
was with moms that like I didn't know at all,
And you know, I figured out the new small talk
for people my age is perimenopause.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
How did you know? Because you talk about it a lot.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, but it's like you want to instantly like have
something to talk about and seem like, oh, we all
kind of know each other like each other. Not that
it wasn't that vibe. We didn't like each other, but
it's like you don't know each other like trying to talk.
And it was almost like I mentioned the documentary which
is what I had been watching. I mentioned have youy'
all seen Balance a Perimenopause Journey? And it's like all

(12:27):
these ears perk up and they're like getting out their
phones and like writing it down, and I was like, oh,
this is interesting this is like the new instead of
like weather, it's like perimenoplause.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
But with a specific audience. Yes, okay, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
I mean, but I think you could strike it up
with men, especially if they're married and they're my age,
then their wife is going through it.

Speaker 3 (12:50):
What would be your opener?

Speaker 1 (12:51):
My opener is the documentary?

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Well, so do you just say, except have you seen that? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (12:55):
Okay, because it just came out like ten days ago
or something. So you say, have you seen that new
documentary that Alyssa Milano helped with called Balance a paimin
of plus Journey And they're like, no, where we watch it?
I'm like, well, you can watch it on Apple or Amazon.
You have to pay for it. Oh really and it's
four episodes. Yeah, you have to pay.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
But here's my thing. I think it was worth it.
Sometimes I was a little bored.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Just to be honest, but it's very medical, so some
stuff was just I'm like, wow, they know a.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
Lot, which is good. Don't you think eventually it'll become streamable?
I hope.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
So my frustration was I wish this was free to
all because some people that probably really want to watch it,
they're they're like whatever. I'm already paying an arm and
a leg for all these streaming services or my cable, Like,
I'm not going to pay another eight dollars to watch this,
which mine was only eight because I opted for the
SD version, which is the cheaper.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
Well, I'm sure that was just as good, right, it's
just as the HDS.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
It's like a dollar more per episode.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Oh okay, per episode that's four more dollars or sometimes
like ninety nine cents.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Like I don't know how anybody ever downloads the HD version,
Like that's just not that important to me.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
I'm always going to get the cheaper option.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
So anyway, I watched it and the documentary, Yeah, yeah,
I watched it on' know.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
If you were like your family and this is What
i'm going, THROUGH i.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Thought we, should like anybody in my orbit is required
to watch, This but you.

Speaker 4 (14:15):
Start sending eight dollars to, everybody could.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
You go and watch this?

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Please it did make me think about my marriage, though
and this is not WHY i got divorced at. All
but one of the doctors in the documentary and she
was saying this ingests like it was not this is not,
data it's not, facts but she was having clients come
to her and she'd be, like you, know about every
three weeks they're wanting to get a divorce and then
it would be a. Cycle but it was because the

(14:41):
hormone shifts that their body was going through and they
couldn't explain. It but they were like over their, relationship
like certain levels obviously ruin your sex drives is then
you're not connected. Intimately there you feel, crazy everything annoys
you and you can't explain, it and it's all.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Hormonal and sometimes if YOU i.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Have a doctor that, knows you may go in and
start describing all of your symptoms and they're.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
Being doctor that knows should it, doctors, well not all.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
Doctors, no there were so many women they had, everyday
women talking about doctor's appointments that they had where they
went in and they felt completely. Dismissed but then they
would go to some of the doctors now that specialize
in perimenopause with the knowledge and the notoriety now of, like,
OH i need.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
To go to this.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
Doctor she clearly will hear me and believe. Me and
they were, like oh my, GOSH i feel so. Seen
like this one girl she talked about how she had
some of the symptoms too, Early but there is no too.
Early she was just younger than. EARLY i mean she
was having stuff. Happen, WELL i don't want to put
it in a box Because i'm not a medical, professional
AND i think it can happen to anyone at any,

(15:46):
time it. Seems But i'm in the window right now
Where i'm like prime. Perimenopause so a girl that was
younger than me was having symptoms and she went in
and like he ended up prescribing her like a pain
reliever and like some other mental health type medication that
really wasn't addressing with, her, yeah or like, yeah you

(16:08):
have anxiety or you have but really maybe what they
need is a hormone. Replacement maybe they're lacking in, estrogen
they're lacking in, pedestroone they need some testosterone whatever and
getting their levels.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
Checked.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
Yeah, ANYWAY i thought it was really interesting AND i
felt seen AND i felt. Heard BUT i also was, like, oh,
MAN i wonder how many people are getting divorced during
that perimenopause.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Type because they just, like don't it can be a
ten year.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Period it's not like it's just you, know a few
weeks of, it and they're, like, Oh, Okay i'm. Done
but if you have a ten year period and you're
not seeking any type of treatment or help for, it
that can be taxing on your.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
Relationship, yeah AND i think ALSO i was joking WHEN i, saying,
like did you get everybody watch? It but having men
in your life under stand that is just as important
as having you understand it, too Because i'm not in,
perimenopause but you, Know i've had some hormonal shifts in my,
life and when you're in, it sometimes you, know Like

(17:11):
i'm this is not real, life but sometimes you. Don't
and so it'd be helpful if like your partner or
whoever could also see those, shifts so they could help
minimize the destruction of, that because when you're so close to,
it sometimes you can't see.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
It they had a husband in the documentary where his
wife was sharing stuff like in a confessional type, interview
and then he was being interviewed as, well and so
he was, like, yeah he was.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
Wrong he was, like but also, LIKE i hope men
have compassion for, that BECAUSE i know it's people joke
about it of like women and their hormones and blah
blah blah and even having their.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Periods and stuff like. That it is, Hard like it is.

Speaker 4 (17:54):
Exhausting, Again i'm not in, perimenopause but it is exhausting
just to have like the normal like monthly mood swings
that to know that like every month you're not going
to feel like yourself then have to like wait through.
That and then so for, You i'm assuming it can
be more during the month or you can go three
months and it.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
Cannot well they mentioned this a little bit And i'm,
paraphrasing so don't quote me on into. This but men
go through one change and that's.

Speaker 3 (18:20):
Puberty that's.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
It men go through one change and that's.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
Puberty that's. It we go through.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
Puberty every, month we go through a change every single
month until we hit. Perimenopause we still have the monthly
changes in then we hit. Menopause then there's postmenopause like we.
Have you take into account, pregnancies, MISCARRIAGES i, mean there's
so many different that is things that we endure where

(18:59):
men go through one thing that's.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
Nuts, yeah it.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
Is, yeah they need to have some. Compassion AND i,
feel LIKE i, SAID i feel. Validated i'm thankful to
have this information. Now and obviously with social media it's
sort of like every. Return now it's like, perimenopause AND
i feel LIKE i can.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
FEEL i feel like it can. Feel let me see
HOW i can say this.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
BETTER I i don't want to use it as a
crutch of like.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
A default of, like, oh, well this is.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Perimenopause but even from my golfer, zelbow that's, perimenopause like
my ache and MY i KNOW i don't, golf but
that's what it's. CALLED i did get golf pants For,
christmas THOUGH i never gotten to wear them At they're very.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
Cute do you prefer a pant or a?

Speaker 1 (19:41):
Skirt, well It's, christmas so. WINTERTIME i prefer. Either but
these were really cute plaid pants THAT i mentioned in
passing once to my, boyfriend AND i guess he must
have ordered.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
Them in that. Moment i'm, LIKE.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
I know there's other Things i've, mentioned but that's, okay that's, right.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
That's the one that's.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Off must order golf fans, Though, okay so my golfer's
elbow is my. Perimenopause but it's like knowing now that
hearing other women talk about the different eggs and pains
that they, feel and we have this. Validation now it

(20:21):
helps with the sanity.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
Part.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
YEAH i think of the generation before us where they
didn't have that information and they just had all these
different physical and emotional ailments and they had.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
No there's no.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Excuse, yeah like, okay what's this?

Speaker 3 (20:40):
Pain what's this?

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Pain almost like you would think if you went to
a doctor and started explaining everything like this woman's a
little like it's in your, head like you have, okay
you have everything wrong with?

Speaker 3 (20:48):
You, yes.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
It feels like everything is wrong with. Me, yeah you,
know there's good days and bad, days and the good
days are harder to. Find that's where a lot of
women it. Was they're LIKE i just overall LIKE i
just don't feel. Joy they're, like it's SO i can't
find it, anywhere and they're. Trying it's not for lack of,
trying and they have things to be happy, about and

(21:12):
they're not trying to be Like Debbie, downer but they're just,
Like i'm a shelle of WHO i used to.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
Be, yeah everything's, great And i'm, like so are you feeling?

Speaker 1 (21:19):
That it made me think of like a couple months,
ago there was this One MONDAY i felt.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
Great he's been a couple months.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
Ago, Yeah AND i was, like what WAS i doing
around that? Time you, Know i'm trying to like piece it.
Together i'm, like WAS i going to more? Pilates WAS
i moving? More WAS i eating?

Speaker 3 (21:35):
Differently? Like what WAS i?

Speaker 1 (21:36):
Doing BECAUSE i remember That monday as being, like this
is a good. Day AND i know it was A
monday because we had recorded that. Day and then AFTERWARDS
i went over to my boyfriend's AND i just remember
it was on that, Drive i'm, Like i'm feeling great.
Today that's that's the last TIME i felt.

Speaker 4 (21:53):
Great your job is a hard job to have all.
Feeling why are you looking at it like?

Speaker 3 (21:58):
That, well now that you're finishing, Yourself so it was,
like my job's are. HARD i think your job is.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
Hard, oh it would be hard with WHAT i feel,
like but BECAUSE i don't want to cry.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
On the radio, sometimes.

Speaker 4 (22:12):
But your job is maybe it's not as hard as
like brain, surgery but your job would be hard for.
Me so but in, GENERAL i just don't think i'd be.

Speaker 3 (22:19):
Good at your.

Speaker 4 (22:19):
Job but you have to have a hard job to
be going through this because you just me saying, like
when's the last time you like That? Monday months? Ago
but you can't act like that on the, radio and
you're on the radio every.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
Day, yeah and you, mean let me be, Clear i've
had good.

Speaker 1 (22:34):
Days i'm saying That monday was a really day like
THAT i felt, really really. Good and you, know we've
talked about whimsy a, lot AND i just think MAYBE
i need to be more intentional about my whimsy because
but then it's, like why is the whimsy even more?
Difficult and it's like we're not getting any. Better it's
sort of like If i'm depleted of, SOMETHING i can't

(22:56):
just expect for it to get.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
Better out.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Help i'm going to find a hormone. DOCTOR i already found.
ONE i just need to make the. Appointment And i've
had my blood work done, before but THEN i don't
follow through just CLASSIC. Adhd but THEN i want to
go actually WHERE i had it. DONE i don't know
that they would have been able to specifically guide me
LIKE i. Want like a, FEMALE i want you to,
KNOW i want you to experience What i'm talking, about

(23:24):
because IF i go to a man and be like,
you nothing against. MEN i love, men but they only
go through one.

Speaker 4 (23:30):
Change, Yeah i'm one of those people who's like you
don't have, to like as a, THERAPIST i don't have
to like go through everything to be able to help my.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
Clients, true and and sometimes it, helps sometimes.

Speaker 4 (23:44):
Help SO i get that if there's, possible if there's
a possibility for you to have a FEMALE i think
you might be able to get a different level of
compassion that just wouldn't be accessible to a guy because
he just you can't explain, it no to the full.

Speaker 3 (23:59):
Extent, yeah, okay well that's really good. Time what? Else
i've been reading a.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
Lot this is my year of, reading And i've been
reading so much or listening on audible and, reading AND
i am thoroughly enjoying. It and it's so funny Because
kat AND, I i'll tell this to the. Listeners CAN
i tell them About Beach?

Speaker 3 (24:18):
Read of, Course, well you're.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
Because your memory because one thing that perimenopause is like
memory is LIKE i can't remember, anything a SIGN i don't.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
Think you're perimenopausal.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
Yet BUT i was talking about one Of Emily henry's,
Book Beach, read and How i'm not really it's not
my favorite like her other. BOOKS i have really really
Enjoyed Happy place In Book. LOVERS i loved and then Beat.
Read i'm, like, nah and what.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Would you write it out of? Five out of? Five, yeah,
like if you were On, goodreads what would you read?

Speaker 5 (24:52):
It?

Speaker 3 (24:53):
Okay, three two point.

Speaker 4 (24:55):
Five i'm not reading a book that somebody gave a
two point.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
Five, okay, Three i'll give it a three because it's
not totally, terrible it just Meant BUT i give Like
Book lovers And Happy place a five for the rom com.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
Category you gave them a five for the. Category that
means your three is really? Two, really, well you wouldn't
give a book of?

Speaker 4 (25:17):
Five. Okay, WELL i can't speak on those, books BUT
i wouldn't give either of The Emily henry books THAT
i read a.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
Five they're good. STORIES i just wouldn't give them A
i would give them a.

Speaker 6 (25:29):
Four.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
Okay i'm just still pretty hard FOR i go for the.
Category but like also The nightingale for historical fiction, five.

Speaker 3 (25:36):
Right but how would you compare That nightingale To Emily.
Henry you can't compare. Them they're totally.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Different like HOW i would compare them is In Book
lovers there's a sister, relationship and In nightingale there's a sister,
relationship and both books made me want to call my.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
Sister oh that's.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Sweet, yeah so that's how they're the same to.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
Me, okay, okay well back to be. Three oh.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah So kat's, like oh my, GOSH i read. That
and then you were, like wait a, SECOND i DON'T
i THINK i read, that BUT i don't really remember.
Anything i'm, like, yeah that's because it's not any good.

Speaker 3 (26:12):
What's in my.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
Audible so IT'S i IF i downloaded and used my
one credit a, month BECAUSE i take those credit very,
SERIOUSLY i had to have listened to. IT i would
not waste a. CREDIT i wait until the sixth of
the month SO i can get that new. Credit BUT
i don't remember reading it at.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
All. Yeah, well then later you determined, like OH i
haven't read. IT i thought you determined you have not read.

Speaker 3 (26:34):
It OH i. DETERMINED i don't know IF i, did
because it says BUT i gave.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
You all of like the. KEY i gave you everything
that would trigger, them.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Right like what WAS i going through in?

Speaker 1 (26:44):
Life, yeah like you just coasted through and listen to.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
Something you know how.

Speaker 4 (26:49):
Sometimes when you read a, book you read a page
and you don't remember what you.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
READ i THINK i was like that the whole TIME
i was.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Listening to, IT i was, like WHEN i was giving
you all the little things that, Happened i'm, like surely
you remember this. PART i don't want to say it
in case someone's, LIKE i just got be treated in
the mail and you just gave the entire.

Speaker 3 (27:05):
Thing WHY i downloaded it and didn't that is.

Speaker 4 (27:08):
Weird but Now i'm going to have to listen to
it Because i've used a credit on.

Speaker 1 (27:14):
It, yeah AND i Don't maybe you'll love. It maybe
maybe you'll love. It maybe it'll be right up your. Alley,
okay let's get to the things to say instead of
it will be, okay because like even with my pyramid ofpaust,
stuff you might be able to well it'll be.

Speaker 4 (27:28):
Okay there is a time and a place to hear
it's going to be, okay especially if you know it's
going to be you, know LIKE i don't know if
you break your leg and you're going to be able
to walk again one, Day like we know it's going
to be, okay but then there are times and we
don't really know the. Outcome and what made me think

(27:48):
of this and this is kind of like old, news
but a couple of weeks ago with ice, storm so.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
Much was going.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
On people you didn't have, power and SO i was, like,
oh you, know, like what do you say to people
when they don't have power and you don't know when
they're going to get.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Back, well, yeah let's clarify, this because cat had power
the whole. Time she had Power Wi Fi, yeah. Cryo
cat had.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
It she had it in, here she had. It everybody
in this room was living. Large AND i was like
in the eighteen, hundred like with, BREATH i was reading my, candlelight.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yes and that's honestly HOW i got To someone was,
LIKE i don't think that my reading is going to
stay at this pace for the. Year BUT i THINK
i was able to get ahead on reading because there
were several, hours like many many hours THAT i was
just laying by the fireplace reading BECAUSE i had nothing
else to.

Speaker 3 (28:40):
Do, exactly, well at least you had those.

Speaker 4 (28:43):
BOOKS i tried to prepare and charge my, kindle and my,
KINDLES i guess broken wasn't.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
Charge so IF i, CHARGE i couldn't charge before the.

Speaker 4 (28:51):
Storm, okay if anybody has any, tips let me know.
Anyway SO i was, thinking, like what it would be
helpful to have these for any, time but also the
next time there's a natural disaster like, this of what
what is helpful to hear outside of it's going to
be okay when we don't, know because that can actually
really invalidate somebody OR i don't. Know sometimes it makes me,

(29:15):
mad like gives me a little, rage AND i want to,
like you don't know, that or that's not helpful LIKE i.
Want it's almost like when you ask the question what
does this make? Possible a little too?

Speaker 3 (29:25):
Early you, Know, yeah SO i have a list of.

Speaker 4 (29:29):
Five this is not a comprehensive, list but you know it's.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
Digestible are you ready?

Speaker 4 (29:34):
Ready the first one is just saying something like, Validating so,
gosh that sounds really hard and these are, simple so
these aren't going to be like mind. Boggling AND i
think that's something to think. About often when we want
to say it's going to be, okay it's because we're
uncomfortable and we want to make that person feel more,
comfortable or we want to say something because it's uncomfortable

(29:56):
to sit in the.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
UNKNOWN i feel like any of our male listeners right,
now this would be a good one to keep in
your back pocket if your wife is hormonal or anything
like that because you can't understand. It because remember you
only have one change one. Puberty you could be, like,
gosh you have so many hormone things happening all the.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Time that sounds. Hard, OKAY i was, like where are
you going with? It, gosh you're a lot right, now or.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
Just, like, gosh this sounds hard To nagai.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
The gate for you and for. Me, Yeah i'm just
getting laid that part. Out just end the sentence, early but, yeah.

Speaker 4 (30:29):
That's, gosh that sounds hard, period because that to, me
When i'm struggling with, something it feels good to be
like seen in that way for somebody, like, yeah you're
not being, dramatic like that does sound really. Hard so
very simple goes a very long, way got?

Speaker 1 (30:42):
It?

Speaker 4 (30:42):
Okay number Two now this is twofold when we're going
to get to the second part.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
Later but asking somebody what do you need from me right?

Speaker 4 (30:50):
Now and this is in the context of if somebody
is talking to you and you don't, know like they're wanting,
advice you don't know if they just want, event you
don't know if there's a task.

Speaker 3 (31:01):
That they could.

Speaker 4 (31:02):
Do so saying asking before giving any other information out
before saying it's gonna be, okay because maybe that is
what they want to. Hear that could be the ANSWER i.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
Just want you to tell me it's gonna be.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
Okay but they also might just SAY i just want
you to listen to, me OR i just want you
to sit.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
Here.

Speaker 4 (31:18):
Now i'm gonna skip to the next one because it's
piggybacks off this because sometimes when you ask people what
do you, need you don't, know and that can be very.
Overwhelming so if somebody SAYS i don't, know then one
you can do, this but, two you don't even have
to ask the question to do. This if you know

(31:39):
somebody's struggling and they're, overwhelmed just say, Like, Hey i'm
gonna come drop cookies off at your front. Door Or
i'm at the grocery, Store i'm PICKING i saw your favorite,
Whatever i'm picking some up for. You OR i got
too much, chicken So i'm bringing you some manchiladas AND
i want to put them by your front door.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
Or something like. That Or i'm coming over with a.
MOVIE i really want to watch. It let's watch. Together
you just do. Something they might want to be left.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
Alone that's WHAT i, Say, well you just showed up
and you're gonna watch an entire movie with.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
Them that depends on the. Person there's some people THAT i,
like don't come in my.

Speaker 4 (32:14):
House, Yeah but then there's you, know there's some, people
like the type of friends that can just walk in
your house and like hang out like that might be,
okay and you're probably close enough to be, like, hey
can you just drop the?

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Movie?

Speaker 3 (32:24):
YEAH i need to be. Alone yeah.

Speaker 4 (32:28):
Okay so that's, one, two, three four is saying something,
normalizing so that can be as simple as just to,
me it sounds like you're having a human reaction to
what's going, on, because LIKE i said, earlier sometimes people
feel like they're WHICH.

Speaker 3 (32:43):
I don't know if you felt like, THIS i feel
like you You i'm just gonna say.

Speaker 4 (32:48):
It you kind of minimized what you were going through
with the no, power, REALLY i think so you were, like,
yeah me and stevensonkince here her, breath, Haha.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
Well that's the day to be clear when he said, no.
Okay so we had spent a few nights in the
house in the, cold and we had invites to go.
ELSEWHERE i just was really being stubborn about that BECAUSE
i kept, thinking, also if the power is going to come,
back and then like day, three it's, like oh or

(33:21):
day four maybe because we lost. It so we Spent sunday,
Night monday, Night tuesday, night and it Was, wednesday at
like about five pm THAT i decided to. Leave so
we were about to spend our fourth night in the,
cold And stevenson was, like, MOM i can see my
breath Like i'm, cold AND i was, like, Okay i'm me, too,
Buddy like, okay, so AND i hit my breaking point at.

(33:45):
THAT i know THAT i was laughing about, it but
also in that MOMENT i was.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
Crying, OKAY i didn't see the.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
TIME i was sitting by the fire and trying to figure.
Out so THEN i wanted to start even though we
had offers to go. PLACES i started calling hotels AND
i think it was just THAT i come with like
a kid and a dog and a. Cat, yeah and
like with, me yeah a lot so AND i wasn't
gonna like leave my. Cat and then my friend was

(34:11):
at a hotel down the street and she was, like,
yeah there's all these animals. There she's, like, honestly it's
kind of, chaotic AND i was, like, oh that sounds,
Exhausting like it just seems easier to just bundle up
and stay. Here BUT i was sitting by the fire
and THEN i started. Crying and Then stevenson saw me
crying and he came over and he put his arm
around me and he was, like, Mom BECAUSE i was
thinking at that point he would maybe go to his
dad's because his dad had.

Speaker 3 (34:31):
Power could he have not taken the? Air we could?

Speaker 1 (34:35):
Have But ben has a Like ben has his own
life in a, relationship Like i'm not going to be,
like can you take my?

Speaker 3 (34:42):
Cat like, no not in a million years. Ever, okay
car is kind of His, yeah he would take the.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Dog he took the dog, eventually because eventually the kids
went back to be With.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
Ben, yes he would take the.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Dog, Okay so where WAS? I, oh So i'm calling
hotels and then everywhere full and so Then i'm crying
and Then stevenson comes. Over oh he was gonna leave
me Because i'm, like you should just go and Then i'll.

Speaker 3 (35:07):
Stay with the.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Pets and then WHEN i saw me, crying he came
over and he was, Like, Mom i'm not leaving. You
AND i was like, well that's really. Sweet, HOWEVER i
can handle this AND i want you to be. WARM
i Think i'm Just i've hit the emotional wall of,
this like this is All we're, Okay like we have a,
fireplace we have a gas, stove, like we have candle.

(35:30):
Lights some people didn't even have, that and they were
in their homes LIKE i cannot even, imagine and they weren't,
leaving and they also maybe didn't have invites or.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
OPTIONS i was being just LIKE i didn't want to inconvenience.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
People so, anyway Then i'm talking To shannon and she's, Like,
amy you are, coming like and so then we went
upstairs and we packed our. Bags And shannon has a,
cat so that was, good and she Knows kara and the.
Caid like everything just felt more, comfortable and So stevens
AND i just ran up because it was about to be.
Dark this it's five o'clock and we're about to lose.

(36:01):
Sunlight AND i didn't want to a pack by. Candlelight
so then we threw stuff in a bag and we,
left AND i was very thankful for. That so then
we spent three nights At shannon's and it was so
cozy and.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
It just it.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Worked everything worked, out even THOUGH i had, offers because
it's even, like, Okay cryocat's like the cryocat has two.
Dogs one of the dogs is okay with, it the
other dog. Not and THEN i had other invites where
they literally were, like you can, come but not with the,
cat WHICH i. Understand like if there are people are
allergic to, cats some people just hate.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Cats, yeah, cats dogs would kill my.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
Cat so ok wouldn't Want there's lots of, reasons like
it wasn't just like you, know SO i want one
of my. Friends i'm pretty sure her husband was like, you,
NO i don't do.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
Cats, okay but there is a cat to be. Had maggie.
Sweet she just like she doesn't do.

Speaker 6 (36:56):
Anything, yeah, Okay well the whole point of, this you
were SAYING i was minimizing, It.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
But, okay maybe you. Weren't maybe my experience AND i
don't know that we talked a.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
Lot i'm just SAYING i don't think i'm cheering with
you like HOW i was. INTERNALLY i don't THINK i
vocalized how bad it was or how Difficult wednesday.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
Was it was A.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Wednesday i'll never forget, it just like That.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
Monday it happened on A. Wednesday it's A. WEDNESDAY i JUST.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
I can't remember certain, things BUT i do KNOW i
felt extreme joy.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
On that One. Monday, yeah well on That, WEDNESDAY i finally.
Caved it sounds like you were reacting very normal.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Too, YES i was having a normal reaction to my.

Speaker 4 (37:43):
Experience so that is number fours to normalize that. Experience
And i'm glad that you did find.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
Warmth thank you me, too and THAT i. Accepted that's
another thing for. PEOPLE i don't know why sometimes it's
so hard to just, accept like BECAUSE i would say
it and mean. It it's not THAT i don't think
people mean, it but it's just more of like the
some people.

Speaker 3 (38:07):
Might not mean.

Speaker 4 (38:08):
It, Yeah LIKE i think some people say let me
know if you need anything and don't mean.

Speaker 3 (38:13):
It it's just like a thing to, say SO i
don't want, to, like do.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
You think like in their mind they're, like let me,
know and you mean? Anything and in their, head WHAT
i just, SAY i mean. ANYTHING i don't know what
words just came out of my. Mouth but they might, say,
yeah let me know if you need, anything and then
they get in their car and in their mind.

Speaker 4 (38:29):
They're, like let it sure. Home, no, YES i, do
AND i THINK i. DON'T i might not be immune
from that depends on who it is and what it.
Is but that has become like just a thing to.
Say and that's WHY i think when you say when
people are, like, Hey i'm bringing this, over it can
be more helpful because like, you IF i would have been, like, Hey,

(38:49):
Amy i'm coming over to pick you, UP i would
have gotten here and you would have gotten in my.

Speaker 3 (38:54):
Car, Right AND i gotta, SAY i didn't invite you
to my.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
House you had, GUESTS i, know but you did it Later, Okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (39:03):
OKAY i was, LIKE i feel.

Speaker 4 (39:05):
BAD i would have let your animals, come And i'm
not an animal. Person we did have a dog at our.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
House, No, no you texted me and, said, hey we
have a, room oh if you want to, come And i'm,
like already settled in.

Speaker 3 (39:16):
It, Shannon, okay, okay who? House like oh my god bed. Friend.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
No but ALSO i Mean shannon is five minutes her
house is like five minutes for my, WORK i work
with her.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
Already like there was a lot of.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
That made sense because even during the, day like with
kids and pets and like it just made sense you
live other, Direction BUT i would have been grateful.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
If IF i was the only house, available you would have.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
Come, yes, okay but it's better to just show up
if if but that's if you know the person is
going to struggle to accept.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
Help so it would.

Speaker 4 (39:52):
Have been more helpful for me just to show up
or to like IF i had a, generator like come
bring it to your, house versus do you want my?

Speaker 3 (39:58):
Generator because who? Knows you would have been, like, fine
we're just. Camping, YEAH i actually don't.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
Know IF i would have, LIKE i would have to
take a lot of responsibility.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
To like fill it up with, gas and it is
a lot of.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Work yeah, YEAH i was, like.

Speaker 3 (40:16):
BUT i think what it's helpful because SOMETIMES i struggle
to accept things when people are, like oh do, This i'm,
Like i'm.

Speaker 4 (40:22):
Fine is think of it as you're taking away an
opportunity for your friend for, them, Right like it feels
good to help. People so WHEN i allow somebody to help,
Me i'm not burdening. Them i'm actually giving them a, gift.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
Robbing them of the opportunity to support you and show
up for, you and which then can bring them. Joy
this makes you think of when my mom was sick
and we had like a revolving door of people at
my sister's house because that's where we had, hospice and
the house was full of, people quite, honestly and my
sister AND i spent most of the time by my mom's,
bedside and my sister had four kids, herself AND i

(41:01):
wasn't a mom. Yet my husband was In afghanistan at the.
Time like there was just a lot going on and,
people some of the people that were the revolving door,
though would just like walk in grab all the dirty
clothes because my sister had four, kids take the laundry
to their, house wash it and bring it back folded and.
Clean like they didn't even, ask and they didn't even

(41:23):
run the laundry. There they just they were like put
it in trash bags and.

Speaker 3 (41:26):
Left that's the way to do.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
It weren't in the, way and that was my sister's,
community and that's how they showed.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
Up AND i was, like, oh, wow that's really, cool
so good.

Speaker 4 (41:34):
Idea if you don't know what to do for somebody that,
could you don't have to bring a movie and make
them watch it with.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
You you can do the. Laundry shannon just typed in our.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
Dock she said the first TIME i Asked amy to
come over to my house during the, storm she said
she didn't feel like dealing with manually opening the garage,
door which is.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
True i'm, like this seems like a, lot LIKE i
will get a hypothermia BEFORE i opened the car.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Right, well because THEN i was gonna have to look.
Up and Then bobby had called and was like checking
on me or, whatever and he was, like, WELL i
just chatgbted how to how do you famly water heater or,
something because they were inviting me over, Too AND i was,
like it's really not that.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
Hard it's. Not it seems more difficult to. Me were difficult,
Probably AND i was, like oh that's.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
Smart so THEN i just googled it and it really was, like,
oh this is. Easy and Then stevenson helped me and
he had to get up on a stool and we
couldn't get to, stay but then he held it up
with the stool and THEN i backed out.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
And then we were.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Good but the thought of that seemed so, oh it's
easier to just stay in the.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
Cold, NO i get. It that's like sometimes when you're
like laying down and Your But.

Speaker 1 (42:38):
I'm GLAD i learned because it's really not that, hard
sort of like MAYBE i would learn with the.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Generator it's not that hard and it actually could come in.

Speaker 4 (42:43):
Handy, YEAH i Guess i've never thought about opening the
garage door manually.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
In a tough, situation forced to figure it.

Speaker 4 (42:51):
Out speaking of hot water, heaters we ran out of
hot water for about four.

Speaker 3 (42:56):
Hours oh the tragic during the ice.

Speaker 4 (43:01):
Store it, FROZE i, guess so so.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Hard SO i felt. Something but then my dad came
over and fixed. It it was just. Frozen it's.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
Dad he was.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
Alive, OKAY i take it. BACK i wish my dad was.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Alive.

Speaker 4 (43:20):
Okay also is your dad, Now, okay that's.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
True your.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
Dad he helped me with my water. Heater oh, really
that's what he.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
Has a couple of weeks, AGO i had no hot
water and THEN i thought it was a plug thing
because it's plugged in in the, garage and SO i
thought it was a a breaker. Thing but he, said
go around your garage and look for an outlet that
has a reset. Button and he's, like it'll have a little,
light hit the reset button and see what. Happens sure,

(43:52):
ENOUGH i walk around the garage AND i seen an.
Outlet it has a reset button with a little, light
AND i hit it and then wouldn't you, know when you,
know the outlet over in the other corner started working
that the water heater was plugged.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
Into isn't it?

Speaker 4 (44:05):
Weird like how you would like to, know like how
to fix.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
EVERYTHING i was, like this is exactly like you and
my dad are the.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Same Like i'm so. GLAD i was, Like i'm adopting.
You and he said, okay and.

Speaker 3 (44:15):
Then he left his sunglasses here as a.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
Momentum well that he that was that was on the
phone one day he left his sunglasses. Here when he
came and sprayed the mold in my bathroom With clorox,
bleach he.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
Showed me how to do. IT i was, like, oh that's,
easy Which i'm not living with.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Mold by the, way, HOWEVER i had a little leak
in my roof and it caused a little, mold but
it thankfully hasn't. Spread so WHEN i cut a hole
just to see about the, LEAK i saw the black
mold and then he was, like, Oh i'm going to
spray that for you and then we could patch up the.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
Hole and that's when he left his. Glasses so, anyway
it is.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
Good do you have your dad So i'm, sorry you
can help your. Friends, no you don't say you're. Sorry
i'm the one that made the. Joke you've brought up your.
Dad and THEN i made the. Joke, Okay i'm, like,
oh you had no hot water for.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
Four four, hours and oh.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
WELL i was just saying that BECAUSE i thought it
was a big. Issue this was more like A psa for.
Anybody it was just, frozen and you can actually fix
that by taking a hair dryer and holding it on,
it melting. It, really that's what he. Did he told
me to put like a space heater in front of.
It but then he came over AND i think he
just used to hair. Dryer, yeah he walked into my

(45:30):
room AS i was like on a zoom. CALL i was, Like,
Dad i'm on a, meeting and he just was, LIKE
i need a hair, dryer AND i was, like.

Speaker 3 (45:39):
BUT i was very grateful that he fixed.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
That there was some story in the news of a
guy that was trying to like defrost his pipes or
something and he used to blow, torch but it was
like near. Gas oh my, gosh like not good, Obviously,
yeah we didn't do that that caused. Problems, YEAH i
don't know if you saw. This and THEN i Promise
i'll get to the fifth thing.

Speaker 3 (46:01):
Where it all. Began now it began to, outweigh and
now we.

Speaker 4 (46:04):
Did there was like a VIDEO i saw on TikTok
or something where somebody's house burnt down because they had
like a lithium, battery like a battery from like a
what are those leaf blower or something like that plugged
it in their.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Garage SO i went to my garage AND i unplugged.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
Them.

Speaker 3 (46:18):
All, wait DO i have a battery plugged? In oh my. Gosh,
NO i didn't need to scare.

Speaker 4 (46:24):
You BUT i also didn't fact check, this so this
could have been like fear mongreen video on. TikTok BUT
i did, think, like, WAIT i have we have all
of our power tool batteries plugged?

Speaker 3 (46:35):
IN i had a fact check.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
Everything A'S thee online these, Days, yes because like there's
so much out there and that comes And i'm, like
SO i take it and THEN i google and THEN
i do my due diligence BEFORE i freak, Out like SO.

Speaker 3 (46:47):
I should have done that with this before talking about.

Speaker 1 (46:48):
It we can talk about it here because you're also
giving a disclaimer of, like so now people can hear
it from us and then they can go google it
do their. Research but it's uh like even something like
with the lyrics like. This one girl got on a
video On instagram and she was just like talking about
The Super bowl halftime shows and she was, Like i'm

(47:10):
not watching The i'm not gonna watch The Bad bunny
performance because he has a lyric about how he likes them,
young and some call that, predatory but he calls it.

Speaker 3 (47:22):
Mandatory and then she.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
Pauses she, goes oh, wait that's Kid rock and he's
the headliner For Turning. Point AND i was, like does
Kid rock have a song with those? Lyrics so THEN
i go AND i google, it and sure, enough if
he has a song like Cool Daddy cool or something like.
That it's from two thousand and, one and the lyric

(47:44):
literally WAS i like him. Young some call, it hold,
ON i can look it. Up oh, NO i like him.
Underage see some stay that, statutory BUT i say it's
Mandatory Old Daddy, Cool and So i'm, like, okay.

Speaker 4 (47:58):
Yeah so, okay this is funny you for looking that
up before you're telling everybody that that was his, song,
right because what if it wasn't exactly but it was
so and it was. Okay shannon just found while generally
safe with modern smart, chargers leaving leaf blower lithium ion
batteries plugged in and definitely is not recommended due to

(48:20):
potential long term. Degradation why that's a what does that?
Mean like like it makes the battery none us?

Speaker 3 (48:28):
Good, okay got it.

Speaker 4 (48:30):
And minor fire, Risks so the risks are, minor but
it could happen and so it's not worth it for.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
ME a family put up AT psa and it was their,
kid like riding a bike when he was, YOUNG i
guess before he, died and THIS i know to be.
TRUE i don't know their whole, story BUT i was, like,
wow what a powerful. Thing and it wasn't a commercial or.
Anything it was just a. Family like it was a
real On instagram of A psa to not store your

(48:56):
pro paying takes in your garage because they had a
propae tank in their garage and it exploded and caught
their house on fire and that was they were able
to get out with their other, children and then that
child wasn't able to get out and he. Died and
so that was just a reminder of like not even keeping,
them oh my, god near the house so like where
you store, things and they just like didn't. THINK i don't,

(49:18):
know if they didn't know or they just weren't thinking about,
IT i wouldn't have. Thought so that's why they wanted
to use their story as a reminder to, people because,
YEAH i MEAN i could see as like a single like,
SAY i got into, grilling Like, Stashira my daughter was
grilling the other day and she had the propane turned
up to, high and the firelight came out when she
turned it when she lit, it and it like singed her.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
Eyebrows i'm proud of her.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
For figuring it, out wanting to girl on her, own
but it's like now she needs to pay attention and
no to not have it up.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
High that sort of stuff just breaks me. Out, yeah that's.
Scary so fifth. Thing, yeah the people were, like what
are you talking?

Speaker 4 (49:55):
About so this is the fifth thing to say instead
of it's gonna be okay when you don't know if you,
forgot we're talking about if you don't know if it's
gonna be. Okay so this is the fifth thing to

(50:18):
say instead of it's gonna be okay when you don't
know if you. Forgot we're talking about if you don't
know if it's gonna be. Okay and it's actually maybe
the most simple also could be for some people the
most difficult to just, SAY i don't really know the
right thing to, say But i'm, here so just being
present with, SOMEBODY.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
I can put the all five things in the show,
notes like in a simple they're LIKE i was trying
to take, notes but y'all are all the place talking about.
Things and then that way you can just have these
because sometimes it's good to write stuff down and just
have it that you can, reference like email it to
yourself or put it in your notes app of like
your little folder for like if someone's going through something

(50:57):
and you have the urge to be like it's to be,
okay you, like, wait, oh wait a second BEFORE i do.
THAT i could do that with a lot of my therapy,
stuff even with my. Kids several years, ago there was
some stuff with my son and the therapist we had
for the time was dropping all kinds of, gold like
perfect nuggets and like, scripts LIKE.

Speaker 3 (51:17):
I love a. SCRIPT i love a.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
Script it's funny even my ex husband. Knows like we
were on a call the other day with this mentor
that we work, with and he was, like can you
just Give amy a script?

Speaker 3 (51:27):
Please she loves a, script And i'm, like, YES i.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Do it's just like simple one liner things that you
can say to help you yourself hold a. Boundary AND
i need that because if not you, start IF i,
start if the floodgate, opens it's word salad central over,
here AND i am like digging Because i'm, uncomfortable AND
i just start using more words with my, discomfort.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
And then it just ends up being And i'm, like
what HAVE i even?

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Said and Now i'm not being clear and clear is
kind and unclear is. Unkind and the more WORDS i,
add unless it's a podcast, reform of, course in a
situation like, that the more WORDS i, add.

Speaker 3 (52:08):
The worst off we.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
Are SO i need clear and kind AND i really
appreciate a. Script but he would give he had like
the best, scripts AND i would sometimes in the middle
of my parenting, SITUATION i THINK i told you this,
Before LIKE i would just pause and like run to
my room and like open my computer and pull up
some of this, stuff And i'd be, like, okay and

(52:30):
THEN i would know AND i would go back out
AND i would say it, verbatim but it was like
gold because it was the way my son was receiving.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
It it's like IF i said it the exact, way it.
Worked IF i.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
Didn't there was wickle room and it wasn't. Clear and
SO i was, LIKE i want to say this exactly
like he's saying BECAUSE i don't want to mess it
up because he's the. Expert so, Anyways i'll put these
in the show notes all that to say in case
you want one place to find them. All AND i
really am glad that we gave like solid, information especially

(53:02):
because we got a voicemail and this voicemail is actually really,
sweet but.

Speaker 4 (53:06):
It's in reference to another, voicemail our email.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Email, yeah the email we, got and we talked about
it during the intro of last Week's Feeling things of
the the listener that was no longer, listening the one that,
SAID i Know i'm not at airport AND i don't
need to announce my, departure But i'm done AND i
can't remember everything she, said But, honestly the way she
described our podcast was, like, yeah BECAUSE i wouldn't listen.

(53:30):
Either oh you know Our chick Fil a, order stuff like,
that my t. Shirts so hopefully we offered some value.

Speaker 3 (53:40):
Here that's why we.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
Tried i'm gonna throw the five things in the show.
Notes and we're also now like a little mini book,
club maybe because this is my year of.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
Reading, well do you want to read? Together, yeah that's
what a book club. Does, OKAY i don't.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
Know one.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
Day well, okay Now i'm getting.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
Excited but what if what if we pick a month
at some point this year and y'all can email us
or leave a voicemail about this or talk about.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
It does anybody have an?

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Idea and maybe we have like a big zoom call
with anybody that wants to hop on.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
Like a virtual book. Club but we have to get
on the same.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Reading, yeah we have to pick a month and a.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
Book yeah, okay, well well we can work on. That
are we going to do historical?

Speaker 1 (54:28):
FICTION i feel like that would be quite studious of.

Speaker 3 (54:32):
Us, yeah it'd be. Expected, Probably i'm just. Kidding who
we ARE i don't, Know but what should we? Do
we'll Take we'll take.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Suggestions, YEAH i feel like some, people if a lot
of books have been out for a, while it's. Hard
maybe we need to pick something that's Like hot The,
Press hot The.

Speaker 4 (54:49):
Press hadn't Read The nightingale BECAUSE i need to be
forced to read.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
It it's so, good, THOUGH.

Speaker 4 (54:55):
I, know BUT i want to read it and not
listen to. It, Okay and so you know my kindle's.
Broken WELL i don't.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
KNOW i, MEAN i guess we still do it AND
i could just talk about it.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
That, no that's not that's that's not that's the.

Speaker 4 (55:08):
Lame we need to be both reading it so we
can be excited and like talk about it at the same.

Speaker 3 (55:12):
Time, Okay so future thing we'll figure.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
Out, yeah and, listeners if y'all have any thoughts on,
that then send it on. In we will close with
this voicemail that we got From heather In, Alberta.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
CANADA i thought she said she was FROM. Vamp she
said she said they're close TO. Vamp oh, Okay, OKAY i was,
LIKE i didn't make that.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
Up, Cool AND i feel like it's just a, reminder,
yeah that we're all over the world.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
Feeling things is. Global do we have one listener In.
Nigeria we.

Speaker 4 (55:45):
DID i don't know if we still. Do it could
have been somebody from like, that like on.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
Vacation, YEAH i went over. THERE i was, listening BUT
i don't.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
Know we have this one, loaded, okay, Perfect so we're
gonna play this voicemail From.

Speaker 3 (55:59):
HEATHER i hear.

Speaker 7 (56:00):
It, Hi amy And.

Speaker 5 (56:02):
Kat my name Is. Heather i'm calling Some, Alberta. Canada
we're kind of close.

Speaker 8 (56:07):
To bout because you've never heard of.

Speaker 9 (56:08):
Band AND i am calling just BECAUSE i just finished
listening to today's, podcast which was kind of a bit
of a mixture of live and a previously recorded episode
because of the freezing stuff going on down, there AND
i am going to share my feeling THAT i am

(56:29):
feeling very protective of you, too And Mama perish and
because of the email that you read about the woman
wanting to leave and announce her leaving.

Speaker 5 (56:41):
Even though it wasn't in.

Speaker 7 (56:42):
Airport and, yeah the things that you share randomly and
all the giggles you, have that's WHAT i love about your.

Speaker 5 (56:53):
Podcast will make me very angry that someone would hold
that against.

Speaker 7 (56:56):
YOU i love the.

Speaker 5 (56:57):
RANDOMNESS i love.

Speaker 8 (56:59):
That it's just feels Like i'm listening to.

Speaker 5 (57:01):
FRIENDS i literally laugh out loud When i'm, listening and,
yeah through some really difficult drives lately because my dad
is in the hospital with some decline due to, dementia
and SO i have a fifty minute.

Speaker 8 (57:16):
Drive to the hospital each.

Speaker 5 (57:17):
Time AND i am just so.

Speaker 8 (57:20):
Excited that WHENEVER i see a new, episode BECAUSE i
know it's going to lighten my mood and get me
giggling with. You SO i just want to affirm that
you guys are doing a great, job even if it's
just talking About chick Fil a or. WHATEVER i love
every minute of your. Podcast THEN i hope you have
a day you need to have and know that This
Mama bear is wanting to defend.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
You from a.

Speaker 7 (57:40):
Bar thank you have a great.

Speaker 5 (57:42):
Day, OH i flew.

Speaker 8 (57:44):
It it's supposed to be how the day you need to. Have,
OKAY i want you to have a good, day, though
there you good bye for.

Speaker 4 (57:51):
NOW i love that she seems like a bright. LIGHT
i want to hang out with her.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
ATTITUDE i, know, no you didn't mess it up because
she actually had said had THAT i need to have
before that and, then BUT i do appreciate because sometimes
that's how when we're ending the podcast like we'll say
it and Then i'll say something. Else i'll be, like,
shoot we got to do it. Again So, heather it's
just like. Us And i'm sorry to hear two that
you're going through that with your dad and, That, yeah

(58:18):
we can be by your, side like in the car
for your drives and be a little distraction from what
you have that's going, on or maybe even helpful depending
on what we're talking.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
About so thank you for that.

Speaker 4 (58:30):
Voicemail and what a good reminder for like different strokes
for different, Folks like somebody might hate this podcast and that's,
okay we don't need to change it because there's also
people that like it and not everybody is gonna like. Anything,
yeah so thank you for.

Speaker 1 (58:45):
That, yeah what are all the different strokes for different?
Folks not your cup of?

Speaker 3 (58:50):
Tea, yeah eether' more.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
Not not your can't date everybody.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
From the month are they were Stak.

Speaker 4 (59:04):
You could just make anything up, right not Your how
you like your meat, Cooked.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Some people like it well, done some people like it
unless you're eating ground, beef of, course or a.

Speaker 3 (59:17):
Hamburger you're always supposed to get it well. Done.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
Period my niece married a meat. Scientist, wait so a, steak,
no not a steak a hamburger because it's ground. MEAT
a steak is a.

Speaker 4 (59:29):
Meat wait a, second are you saying if you're eating ground,
meat it needs to be well?

Speaker 3 (59:33):
Done, Yeah i'm, saying, yeah that's WHAT i.

Speaker 4 (59:38):
SAID i Am that makes me feel good BECAUSE i
like everything well done and WELL i say, medium, well
BUT i, really in my heart usually want it.

Speaker 3 (59:48):
Well, done like on a, HAMBURGER i WANT i want a. Steak,
NO i, know but steaks is not yes we're talking
about but like. Yes when people ask you how you
want your burger, Cooked i'm.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Like all the way and that's what you should. Say
but then why if you value your? Life, okay that's
according TO i wonder.

Speaker 3 (01:00:03):
My nephew in.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
Law your nephew in my niece married a meat scientist
and he stands by. This if you're eating ground, meat
which is what a hamburger patty is made. From, now,
obviously if you're doing like ground meat to put in
your pasta, sauce you're going to cook it all the way.
Through the same should be true of your hamburger patty

(01:00:25):
because of all the bacteria when it's being ground, together
it's getting all ground together when you have a contained
piece of, meat like you can see it like nothing
else is mixing, in nothing's getting in but the. Ground
it's a totally different. Situation and he was, like you
would never catch. Meat and he's like a big beef.
Guy he probably eats steak that, is you, know rare

(01:00:46):
ish like he loves a good piece of. Meat but
if he's eating anything ground like a, Hamburger, okay you
will never see me eating anything that is not well.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
Done thank you for this piece of. Information i've had
him on The Bobby Bone show Before next.

Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
Time sobody asked me IF i want how my burger,
cooked and me, like the right, way well?

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Done, yeah you're trying to kill.

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
Me SHOULD i tell.

Speaker 4 (01:01:09):
Them, like, well according to meat, scientists it should always
be well? Done and then they'll be, like.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
Okay like whatever Does patrick get?

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Them like he rare or well done or?

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
Medium he gets like steak medium. Rare But i'm talking about.
STEAK i Know i'm giving you the whole. Picture, okay
be patient with.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
Me, sorry you know if we get this email of,
Like i'm not listening to your podcast to figure out
How kat's husband orders his.

Speaker 3 (01:01:36):
Steak literally nobody, cares But i'm gonna tell. You. WELL
i asked how he gets his, hamburgerss.

Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
BUT i feel like when they asked, that he probably
says like medium or. Something one time recently he got
a BURGER i won't say, where BUT i was going
to take a bite of, it AND i was, like
you need to send that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
Back but then he was like fine with. It why
because it was bleeding well like what it was? RAW i,
know but some people like their burger that.

Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
Way he ate, it, yeah but then he later was, like,
yeah it wasn't done all the. Way i'm, like oh my,
GOSH i would you would never catch me eating a pink.
Burger But i'm, also again very, picky SO i try
not to be too judgy Because i'm not adventurous with my.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
Food but NOW i.

Speaker 4 (01:02:17):
Feel more rooted and Like i'm doing it well. Done
i'm gonna live live longer than. YOU i don't want
to get. Poisoned well also, food if you get food
poisoning from, THAT i wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
WANT i came across this one video not to be
like a fear, longer but you, know it's like all,
natural like if you on, anything it's, like, well this is. Natural,
yeah like it falls into the category of, natural and
it's like natural isn't always, good, Right like.

Speaker 4 (01:02:42):
When people were like the way the cavemen did, it
and it's, like, well we've, evolved we shouldn't do it that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
Way the mold in my bathroom that your dad clorox is,
Natural like just because something says it's natural doesn't mean
we need to be taking. It and even with the perimenopause.

Speaker 3 (01:02:57):
Stuff you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
Know, ME i love a good natural, supplement you. KNOW
i feel like AFTER i watch a, documentary they're, like,
guys the only way you're gonna help this is.

Speaker 3 (01:03:08):
Like take some meds with.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
Hormones, Yeah like sure you can like eat cilantro and
see what, happens but like it's.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Time it's probably not.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
Because so like just before you go spending a bunch
of money And i'm someone WHO i have spent money
on certain things And i'm, like.

Speaker 3 (01:03:25):
Oh, dang show was never gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
Help, yeah and then it's hard because we're. Inundated and
then IF i do it AND i like, it AND
i Think i'm seeing a difference for, Myself LIKE i
don't mind talking about something IF i feel Like i've
had a good, experience but THEN i don't.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
Know it's just. Hard it's. Hard it's. Hard it's rough out.
There get your hamburger, cooked, yeah cook it all the,
way and have the day you need to. Have, yay, Yay.
Okay bye

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Hosts And Creators

Bobby Bones

Amy Brown

Lunchbox

Eddie Garcia

Morgan Huelsman

Raymundo

Mike D

Abby Anderson

Scuba Steve

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}FEELING THINGS: 5 Things to Say Instead of “It Will Be Okay” (Hint: Bring Cookies, Not Advice)