Listener Elizabeth writes in about something a lot of people feel but don't say out loud. She's 40-ish, a mom, financially stable, and can't shake the feeling that she should have more by now. She’s curious about the jealousy she feels, the guilt about the jealousy, and how she can make peace with the roads she didn't take.
Kat asks the question: What is your dying wish? A beloved car wash owner in Detroit had one dying wish, to make it rain cash from a helicopter over his community one last time. His sons made it happen at his funeral. It also triggered an FAA investigation…but it’s still pretty cool!
Sam from Boston calls in with a sign story that’ll give you chills. Her father-in-law passed away…but he sent a very special sign to the family that he’s still around. Love it!
Lastly, Kat shares facts about the brain from a Stanford neuroscientist.
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Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
While we hope Couch Talks can be a tool that
helps and supports wherever you are in life, Couch Talks
does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy
or any mental health services.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
A right break it down.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
If you ever have feelings that you just falls home,
Amy and Cat gotcha, Cob and locking No, brother ladies
and felas, do you just follow Ann the spirit where.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's all pron real stuff to the chill stuff and
m but Swayne. Sometimes the best thing you can do it.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Just stop you feel things. This is Feeling Things with
Amy and Kat. Happy Thursday, Welcome to Couch Talks, our
Q and a episode to the Feeling Things podcast. I'm
Amy and I'm Cat. Oh there it is. That's Kat's voice.
If you heard the Feeling Things episode on Tuesday this week,
(00:53):
you know that Ali Fallon filled in for Cat because
Cat didn't have a voice.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
And it's gotten better. It has let me try again. Okay,
and I'm Kat.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
So Kat is here and she brought some stuff. In
addition to the email that we have from a listener,
we've got a voicemail from one of you. And then
Kat brought some other interesting things to talk about and
they're in the dock and I haven't really gotten over them.
And I asked her, do you want me to read
them for you? And she said, okay, I'll set them
up and then you can read them. So I want
(01:28):
you to be able to save your voice. Yeah, which,
what is your official diagnosis, because you've had two false
readings or diagnoses. Ye, Well, you had one doctor tell
you had strut throat and then a few days later
they say, no, you didn't have strup throat. And then
you said you were told you had an ear infection
(01:48):
and then turns out you didn't.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
No, I did have a re ear infection.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Oh you did.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah. So I went to the doctor first and she says,
and I did a strap test, the most aggressi strap
tests I've ever had done. It was bad, you know
when they stick the thing down your throat, And she
said it showed up positive, but she said it was
very light, so she wanted to send it off to
(02:12):
like double check. She said she would call me what
she didn't. So I thought that meant that I did
have strep. And then I took an antibiotic. I didn't
get any better, which is weird if you have strip.
Antibiotics cleared it up real fast. So I went back
to the doctor. It was an urgent care, so I
same place, but I got a different doctor the second time.
Sometimes I a voice sounds normal, don't you think. So
(02:35):
then that doctor said, oh, she didn't call you. You
didn't have strap, And I was like, oh, okay, I
wish I would have known. But then I had ear pain.
So he looked into my ear and he was like,
you do have an ear infection. So I got a
different antibiotic for that.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
But do you remember texting me that you didn't have
an ear infection? No?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Did I do?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah? You did?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I thought, I said I did.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Oh and then you were like, oh, oh, well, I
don't know. Maybe a lot of texts going back and forth,
like so many, Like even our recording time today got
messed up because we were texting so much, trying to
figure out our schedules when we could get together and
if Kat was actually going to be able to talk.
So anyway, shout out to Ali Fallon for filling in.
Thank you for you on Tuesday. And then we do
(03:18):
have an email from a listener who is asked to
remain anonymous given some of the details and with that
we'll just roll right into the email and Kat will
offer her her licensed therapist thoughts in as few words
as possible.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
This is like an exercise on being concise for me.
We'll see how I do.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Maybe I need to try to lose my voice, so
I learned to be more concise. Hi, Amy and Kat.
I am a fortyish year old wife and mom of
two kids, and lately I've been struggling with feelings of jealousy, regret,
and wondering if if I missed my chance to become
the person I wanted to be. In my twenties, I
(04:04):
chose adventure over security. I left a stable job and
moved to another town because I dreamed of being in music.
When that didn't work out, I went to culinary school
and eventually built a personal chef business that I ran
for a long time. I never made a lot of money,
but I loved the freedom and creativity. Now I'm married
(04:26):
with two young kids, and I've spent the last few
years mostly as a stay at home mom. My husband
has a good job, we are financially stable, and by
many measures, I have a beautiful life. But I can't
shake the feeling that I should have more. By now,
we live in a starter home in a neighborhood that
isn't where I imagined raising my family. I look at friends, cousins,
(04:48):
and relatives who have bigger homes, more disposable income, and
lives that seem easier, and I find myself feeling jealous.
Then I feel guilty for being jealous, because I know
I have so much to be grateful for. Sometimes I
wonder if I made the wrong choices, if I had
stayed in my first career and followed a more traditional path,
(05:10):
would I have the financial security and lifestyle I want today?
How do you make peace with the roads you didn't take?
How do you stop comparing your life to everyone else's?
And how do you know whether you're being ungrateful for
what you have versus listening to a legitimate desire for
something more. I'd love your thoughts. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Okay, I have a couple thoughts. Make this as short
as sweet as I can. First, I'm gonna address the
question she put in the very end. The first thing
I would say is there's no way for us to
not be jealous of envious of other people's lives if
(05:52):
we're comparing our lives to theirs. Anytime you're comparing your
life to somebody else's life, you're going to come up
wanting something that's not necessarily bad, but it can be
harmful if if she's in the state that she's in,
and it's hard not to compare. I think it's a
natural thing we do, but I think it's helpful to know,
factually anybody, if we're comparing our lives to other people's lives,
(06:16):
there's going to be something that we don't have that
we want because nobody has it all. The other thing
I would say when it comes to thinking about the
road that you didn't take, is when we do that,
every time we are second guessing, not taking a different
road or making the wrong choice, we assume that if
(06:37):
we took that other choice, everything would go perfectly, and
so when we look at the end goal, we look
at the end goal as like everything worked out perfectly,
but we don't know what would happen. So you could
have done the other thing, and we don't know where
you would have ended up, but you assume that you're
going to end up here.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
But that's not always the case, and you might have
ended up at a certain point down that road and wondered,
I wonder what would have happened if I had gone
right this other route, which is the route you actually
took right, that version of you could be wondering.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
The same thing, and that you might have more money,
you could be more miserable, like you. We don't know.
Like this is even if you did have the stable
job then you climbed a corporate ladder or whatever and
you were financially stable, that doesn't mean you would have
liked your life more because then you could have been
looking at your friends' lives and been comparing the things
that you didn't have in that life. So it could
(07:31):
have been the family or the kids, or the relationships
with the kids, or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
It's interesting because there's likely somebody in your circle or
in your orbit, or someone that knows you that is
sitting at home potentially comparing themselves to your life wishing
they had it.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
One hundred percent. Yeah, so I think those two things
would be just food for thought to sit on. It's
hard to just stop thinking, but I think if we
start thinking, well, if I pay more attention to the
things that this choice did give me, no matter what
choice I make, I'm gonna be. But like I said,
(08:06):
nobody has every single thing, even if they make you
think they have it. So what's the most important part?
Like sounds like the family and the life you created
was the most important part versus like the kids.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah, that path may not have given you them. And
I I have had thoughts like this before. You're not
alone in these thoughts at all. I'm sure there's a
lot of people that have them. So thank you for
being vulnerable and sending this in. And y'all can always
send ustuff and ask to be anonymous, and we'll do that.
And even in the email, Kat, I don't know if
your tete was ready. I tried to leave out other
(08:40):
things that might giveaway. I altered a little bit, so
if you're listening here, I left out some details. And
I know you're not the only person thinking this sort
of thing. And Kat and I have thought similar stuff,
probably just in a different a different way, like oh,
what I wonder if I would have done this, or
(09:01):
I wonder if I would have kept dating this person
or my college boyfriend, or we got married. I remember
when we broke up. I was so devastated because I
thought that's who I was going to marry, and so
much of my life looks different. But I think had
I stayed with him and we built a life like
that would have just been my life and that's what
I would have known. But thinking about it now, there's
(09:23):
so much I would have missed out on and looks
sort of like, huh, I'm kind of glad that that
didn't work out. But I bet if it had worked out,
Who knows what things I would be second guessing or
things I would be super grateful for, And I wouldn't
want to change a thing. I think ultimately it comes
down to having peace with your decision and making peace
(09:44):
with yourself in where you are and knowing that those
questions may pop up. But how long are you going
to let them hang out? Well?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah, yeah, what's the weight that you give those questions?
Is that question saying you made a wrong decision or
oh I wonder what would have happened? Like being curious
about it is different than having deep regret.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
And giving it. This grass is greener vibe when there's
the other saying the grass is browner. Hi, you know
that one?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I heard that.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Wow, it's very you know people, I think that the
grass is going to be greener, but no, it sure
it might, and it also might be browner.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, it might be browner. And that's I think that's
actually the concise way of saying like, we assume that
the best case scenario happens in the other decision, but
we don't know that it could have been way browner
if you would have gone the other out. We don't know,
and we never will know. But that's also a possibility.
So it's not fair to you to assume that it
would have been perfect or better.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Or right or wrong or Yeah. Well, the choices you
made were yours and that's what you chose at the time,
and it got you here, so you're in control of
where you get to go next. Yeah, and I would
highly encourage you not to go anywhere because of any
sort of comparison, but do some internal reflection on what
you really want in the next chapter, whatever that may
(11:16):
look like, or however long it may take to get
to that next chapter. Because when you've got kids, a
certain age is sort of like, okay, this is my
chapter right now, but when things can shift a little bit,
what could that look like for you? And what do
you want it to look like? And what a picturing
little blocks right now, like if you're building something like
what little blocks can you start laying groundwork for now
(11:37):
that you may want to work.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Towards because your life's not over. No, not in close.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
We don't think hope, do we say her age? I
think I did, so forty ish is what I said. So, yeah,
forty ish, that's my age. Forty ish.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
You got a lot of life to live.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I have a lot of life to live, and I
definitely should have could have wooded my life, and I
have come to terms that I'm grateful for where I
am and those questions may pop up from time to time,
but like Cat said, how much weight am I going
to give them?
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And not much.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I want them to kind of be there and then
flutter away because I want to focus on where I
am now and where I'm going, not who I could
have been been. It's and nothing's ever too late for me.
I still have dreams.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Goals about that was cute. I still dream I do.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I want to do more movies? Have I told you that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I know there's a lot of things I feel like
you're gonna do. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Every time I see an elderly person in a show
like like, yeah, a grandma character.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I know not there yet.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I know I'm not there yet, but no, that means
I have time. Like there's always a role the elderly.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
What I think, what I think of that when I've
seen an elderly person is dang it, I don't want
to be working one of that old Hell you're the
opposite man, You're like.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I see them and I see opportunity for me. Since
I have delayed my acting lessons, I was taking them
and then I quit, and I've thought about going back,
and honestly, similar to this emailer emailer is that what
(13:25):
we call that? This listener that emails and about this
it's different, but same vibes of ah. If I had
only just stuck with it and continued my lessons and
submitted auditions like I told myself I was going to do,
I might already have bookings for something, but I didn't.
(13:47):
I stopped, and then I have not been able to
get back into it. But I'm looking back like, oh, dang,
I should have done that, And where would I be
if I had done it? Well, okay I didn't. So
now moving forward, I just have to give myself time
and like I said, the good news is every time
I see an older actress or actor, I'm like, there's
hope I have time.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Well, speaking of your life not being over yet, I
do have a little story about death.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Or these are the dying wishes that you haven't I
haven't read over them at all, but I didn't know
if you wanted me to try to read them for you.
Want to give it a go. Well, okay, because you
sound kind of it's like sexy cat.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I don't think this is sexy, but thank you. Well,
I'll let you read the blurb. It's not my question
for you after you read this, because this is as
Amy reads it. She's reading it for the first time,
so she hasn't seen the story. My question for you
is what would your dying wish be? Okay, because I
don't think this would be mine, but I thought this
(14:49):
was so cool.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
All right, let me read it. What would your dying
wish be? A Michigan man known for his generosity made
one final jaw dropping gesture to think his community by
(15:13):
literally making it rain cash from a helicopter at his funeral.
Darryl plant Thomas, a beloved car wash owner in East Detroit,
died from Alzheimer's at fifty eight and was laid to
rest on June seventh, twenty twenty five. Traffic came to
a standstill as stun drivers stopped their cars, some right
in the middle of the road to grab the cash.
(15:36):
The dramatic sind off was orchestrated by his sons, who
said it was their father's dying wish to give back
one last time by showering the streets. The helicopter drop
was intended as a final blessing to the community he
had served for years. While the stunning farewell delighted locals
and brought traffic to a standstill, it also promoted a
(15:58):
Federal Aviation Administration an investigation, as the family had only
cleared the drop of rose petals in advance, not money, So.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
A little surprised. Okay, what in the world, what would
you do if you're driving down the interstate and it
was just raining cash.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
I guess I would try to get me some.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Yeah. Also, do you think his sons were mad?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
No, I think that if that was their dad's dying wish,
they were probably glad. I kept I'm sure they got
an inheritance. If he was this generous like this, I'm
sure he's like, hey, kids, this is for you, and
then this will be a cool thing for you to
go do in my honor.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
And also we should go into the car wash business. Yeah,
sounds like it.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Ever since I watched Breaking Bad, I think every car
wash is a drug front washing money. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I couldn't get into that show. I started it twice.
It's Patrick's like favorite show.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Oh, that's one of the best shows.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
He said, it's the best show of all time.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Ever, I don't know that I would say of all time,
but for me it was high up there, and so
that's crazy to me. You weren't able to get into.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It's a lot of anxiety to me.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
So, like, what's a show you get into?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Oh, I'm really into the Widow's Bay right now. I'm
really into the Summerhouse Reunion. Okay, yeah, but okay, I
want to get back to this because what would your
dying You might not know because you've I've thought about dying.
But do you like a dying wish? Like how do
you want people your last thing to be?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I definitely don't have an answer at this moment. If
you have one to share, that would be great, because
right now, while I think what he did is super generous.
I'm also stuck on the fact that he died at
fifty eight from Alzheimer's. Yeah, that like is really sad now,
and now I feel rush to start my acting career
because fifty eight, I'm forty five.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, but does Alzheimer's run in your family?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
My aunt and my uncle had it. Okay, see, nothing
to worry about. Also, we did this grip strength thing
on the Bobby Bone Show, and grip strength is also
a factor that can use to determine your lifespan. And
I had the weakest grip strength on the show.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Well, you're also being compared to.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
But no, Morgan did it too, and they're both smaller
than me. They were way stronger in the grip challenge.
So now I'm worried.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Okay, well, let's do some exercises.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I know. Well, I'm just gonna work out in general.
I think I'm just going to start hanging from a bar.
My ex boyfriend of all people DM me. Wait a
video on Instagram. Yeah, my latest boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I know which one we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
You have.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
There's either the one from high school, then there's no
not Yeah, there's a high school boyfriend, college boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
That sounds like if this is a college boyfriend, that's crazy. DD.
You didn't tell me that.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I don't even think he has Instagram. Uh. Then ex
husband and then ex boyfriend. Okay, so the boyfriend I
just had, he sent me a DM on Instagram because
you knows I have ADHD and it's it was some
video showing that if you have ADHD, you should hang
from a bar. Just hang like, grip it and hang
(19:12):
for as long as you can. Every day. It was
some kid hanging from me. Why why don't have all
of the details. I didn't plan on I didn't plan
on talking about this today. In a nutshell, From what
I remember from the video, there's some correlation between the
hanging and cognitive health.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Interesting, hanging is hard. I could never do the monkey bars.
That's what it is for you, same right. I could
never do it growing up.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
I mean, like, you know, if you soar from like
I saw it this soaring, but really they were just
going like one bar to the next. That was for
me too. I think that's ADHD.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I think that was like I was a weak child
or something. I don't know, But as an adult, there
was a playground next to this running route that I
used to run at every day. I would stop my
run and do it until I could go across the
whole thing. And I finally was able to do it
at like thirty two years old.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
You prove to yourself.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But I can't do it now. And that's not because
I'm pregnant, because I haven't done it in years.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah, it's hard. I'm gonna start hanging and then I'll
get more of the details from or people can google it. Well,
speaking of that same ex boyfriend, I borrowed his hanging
bar some pull up challenge we were maybe gonna do
on the Bobby Bone Show, oh a year ago or something.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I have to come over to get.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No. No, he did text me a couple of months
ago and said, hey, right after we broke up, and
he said, hey, is my pull up bar still at
the studio? And I said, yeah, I'll put it in
my car. So I put it in my car, and
now it's still in my car, so I guess I
could I still have it, and so now I could
just have to see him bust it out today. Well,
now I don't want to give it back because I
need it now. I need to hang from it to
(20:55):
extend my life.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
He set you that, DM, then he is that's his fault.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
The DM was probably like another hint, where's my bar?
Like I thought he was all being thoughtful, like thank
you that you saw my bar, thank you for thinking
of my ADHD And he's like, no, no, really, where's
my bar?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Also?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Anyways, I don't have a dying wish yet, do you No.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I don't have a dying wish, but I do think
about sometimes, like what kind of funeral do you want? Like,
because you know sometimes people plan their funeral before they die,
Like do you just want the traditional or do you
want to party?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I want a celebration of life. That's what we called
my mom's funeral, and I loved the vibe of that,
like there was a good mixture of morning and celebration.
So I'm fine with that. I'm fine with photos music.
Like my mom's funeral we had at my sister's church
and her praise and worship team came and so there
(21:52):
was a full blown like band. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I went like, oh, it was a legit a wedding
type vibe.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Like, well, it was in giving. We did have food,
we catered it. Afterwards and had tables set up outside
where people could grab and we got ordered some of
my mom's favorite foods from a local place, and my
sister and I got up. We spoke. I believe there
was a slide show that somebody put together, so there
was photos and the whole thing. Other people spoke. We
(22:22):
had my mom's army. I don't I don't know if
we called it army.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Did we call it army like her Judy's warriors. I
don't know her arm Maybe it was her army. Give
me other words, like that her tribe has something, maybe
trime the people that made sure she was never at
an appointment alone like all of her girlfriends, and in
that it was just that it was this line of
my mom's girlfriends, and then my dad because he was
(22:49):
part of her team, like even though they had been divorced.
Like there was a time she had to go to
Houston because she lived in Austin, but her treatment was
at M. D. Anderson and so her appointments were sometimes
down and back same day. Sometimes they spend the night,
sometimes not, but occasionally my dad if nobody else could
go my dad's like I can do it I'll take
her sweet. Isn't that so sweet? Her little army?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
So there was.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
It was a mixture of that something that Chase told
me the other day. A friend of ours he has
written himself a letter to be read at his funeral,
and he's already given it to a friend should anything
happen to him. His friend knows this needs to be
read at my funeral.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Hey, is he going to update that like every five years?
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I feel like it should be updated, like I made
this far, here's a new letter, or.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Maybe there's a stack of letters and it's like, Okay,
this is Chase's letter from twenty twenty six, and this
is Chase's letter from the good point. I need to
ask if he plans on updating it. But I don't
know where he got that idea or why he thought
of it. He did say he wanted it to be
like a celebration, and he wanted to be out on
his family's ranch like, not at a church, not at
(23:55):
a building. He wanted to be outdoors like a celebration.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
I learned something interesting and I didn't fact check this,
so if I'm wrong, sorry, guys in the Singapore. I
think or it's some country similar. If you get buried,
you have to pay like ten dollars or something like
every year. You have to continue to pay to keep
yourself buried. And so I mean a family member, like
(24:22):
if I died, Patrick would probably pay it every year
to keep me buried. But then eventually you're going to
run enough people to be paying it, and so they
dig you up and do what. I don't know. I
assume they cremated the people. I guess because there's not
enough land for all the dead people. They need the space.
(24:43):
Isn't that crazy? I think if that was the case,
I would just I think I want to be cremated anyway,
But like I think I would just be cremated. You
can imagine like fifty years later, your body being dug up.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I suppose I won't really know. I get your your
soul might am I, but I'll be like, I'm having
a good time up here, or do you what you
want down there? All good? I'm assuming them up.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I think about that subtimes when I'm like, see the
graveyard and I'm like, when does it end? I know
we're going to run out of space.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, it is interesting. My mom went casket. My dad
went cremation, so that's something you need to decide. And
your your last dying wish, how do you want to go?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Because I think I want my ashes spread somewhere uh huh,
somewhere cool, maybe somewhere where it's like I legal to
spread them. But you do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
M there's such a rebel, such a rebel, well, I
won't be doing it. Speaking of death, I didn't even
know you had the thing about the dying wish, but
I pulled a cool voicemail that we have that is
a sign from the other side. Okay, you know how
I like signs. And speaking of my mom and my dad,
my mom is a cardinal and my dad is a
(25:57):
blue jay. And I'm not saying this with one hundred
percent certainty like it's fact. However, it has served me
well the last My mom died in twenty fourteen, my
dad died in twenty twenty one. So I have many,
many years of these birds bringing me comfort and peace,
and that's all that matters. And if you don't want
(26:18):
someone to have comfort and peace, and that's.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
A you problem.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
If you think I'm crazy for seeing these birds and
talking to them and receiving my own messages from them,
like this very house cat and I are sitting in.
I only live here because my mom told me to
move as a bird. She did.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
She did.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
She did tell me. She didn't prove it, prove to me.
She did it because I was going to stay in
the house that I was in for a while. I'd
figured out a way. We got divorced, bought my husband out,
figured all that out or my ex husband, which it
wasn't easy to do, but it figured it out. I
(27:02):
was doing it. It was probably a little too much
of a house for just me, especially when the kids
were gone half the time, so it was a lot
of house. It was yeah, it was getting it was
the maintenance. It had the maintenance, just maintenance and keeping
up with it, or in the pool. There was just
things where I thought, do I need this? No? And
(27:25):
then I saw a cardinal in a tree at an
open house that I randomly decided to go to. And
when I saw the bird, my mom words of feeling
came over me that said, put your house on the market. Oh,
so what put your house on the market. Even though
(27:47):
I'm just at a random open house, like I'm contemplating
moving because the house was becoming a lot. But I
don't really think it's going to happen. And it's not.
The bird wasn't saying this house you're at buy this house.
It's not what the bird said. The bird said, put
your house on the market. I put my house on
the market. You know what happened. It didn't even make
(28:10):
it to market. The minute I got my realtor and
we started working towards putting it on the market. I
got a dumpster to start clearing things out, and my
neighbor saw the dumpster, and then I mentioned on the
Bobby Bone Show that I was considering like moving, like
getting my house together, but I did not say anything
(28:30):
about my house being on the market. Well, someone listening
to the show who knew my neighbor called my neighbor
and said, do you know if Amy's selling her house.
If she is, we want to buy it. And they
were like, well, we don't know, but we do see
a dumpster outside. So that neighbor reaches out to me
and I said, why yes, we are preparing it for market,
and she's like, he wants to come look at it.
Guess what They bought it before it even went onto market.
(28:53):
Cash off her asking price.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
It's like, what happened?
Speaker 2 (28:57):
That doesn't happen. So then I was like thank you.
So then guess what. They wanted to come look at
the house that night and I'm like, wait, it's not ready,
Like I have a dumpster in the driveway where she
was like, well, just get it as my realtor was like,
just get it as best you can. He doesn't even
have a realtor. They're not even going to use one.
They just want to use me for everything. I'm like,
(29:17):
what that realtor's like, hey, yeah, yeah. She's like they
just want to move quick. So she said, let's just
get your house as presentable as possible, and you and
the kids and the dog the cat load up in
the car and get out so they can tour it.
I'm like okay. So while we're doing that, we get
in the car and my daughter pulls up you know,
Zillow because we have nowhere to go and it's raining,
and we got a dog and a cat in the car,
(29:39):
like we've just we have to go drive around for
an hour and she said, oh, there's this house down here.
It just went on the market today. So we drive
past it. That's the house we're sitting in right now.
So then, because I knew that that night that that
guy wanted to buy my house cash, I called this
house just went on the market. I had my I said, realtor,
(30:00):
we needed to make an offer fast.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Wait a second, I just learned something what I thought.
Maybe I did know this, but I rewrote history in
my head. I thought the first house that you went
and looked at was this one.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
No, the first house I went and looked at was
where I saw the bird that's said.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
I thought that was this house.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Oh okay, No, I'm saying. That's why I'm being very
clear that the bird didn't say by this house, because
I wasn't even loving that house, Okay, I was just
there looking at it, dipping my toe in the water.
What too? What would moving look like for me? Do
I really want to do this? And when I went
into the backyard, and because it was an open house,
(30:39):
there were other kids running, Families were there with their kids.
There was lots of people looking at my friend or Caitlin,
Bobby's wife, she went with me. There was people around
that the bird and normally when kids run by like birds,
you know, fly away. My mom stayed there in the
tree long enough for me to hear put your house
(30:59):
on the market. So I put my house on the market.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
And and this house is so you here we are.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I feel much more. Yes, we downsized. It's cozier. I
love the vibe.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Oh thought you did try to move again? I did.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Now house was cue too, But that would have been dumb.
I think I was just you know, back to our
other email. Now we're going to get to the voicemail,
because Fred to tease that, but to the original anonymous
listener to the email, like that's a thing where I
think I was. I had other things going on, and
I was like, oh, maybe if I move that will
sort of fix it. No, that would have added more chaos.
(31:38):
But I did run through. Uh, should I have not
moved to this house? And then I could have eventually
gotten that house? And what if I would have stayed put?
And No, I made peace with where I am and
I've stuck it out and I'm so glad I did. So.
Just that's my advice. Make peace with where you are,
stick it out and you'll be so glad you did.
(32:01):
Maybe amen. Okay, Now onto the voicemail. This is from Sam.
This is from Sam. She's calling from Boston and this
(32:21):
is about a sign from beyond from her father in
law who passed away. Here's the voicemail.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
himI and kat I have always resonated with Amy because
she's always believed in signs. And I know some people
think it's silly, but you know, it is what it is.
If you accept the sign, then.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
You like the sign.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
So I just want to share this quick story that
just happened. So I just went out to dinner with
my fiance and my soon to be mother in law,
and it is my fiance's father's heavenly birthday. He passed
three years ago from cancer. And when we're all we
all drove in different cars, Me, my fiance and didn't
(33:04):
be mother in law because I drove from work, YadA, YadA, YadA.
And as we're driving home, we're all following each other
and Laura, she got a flat. So we're dealing with
the flat. John, my fiance, is trying to fix the
flat and it's not working. You know, he's really trying
to not call Triple A. I said, John, we need
(33:26):
a call Triple A. Triple I. Finally we get no
vacation for them, and it says Christopher F is on
the way scare car and that is my father in
law's name is Christopher F. I just wanted to share
that story because it is just so crazy, the signs
(33:50):
and how they come and when they come. Like we
literally just came back from a dinner, you know, honoring him.
His widow wife got flat and the person who is
coming to her rescue. His name is his first name,
last initial. So I just want to share that for
(34:10):
those people who do believe in signs, and if you do,
you probably appreciate the story. So I just need to
share that this literally just happened. Yeah, just want to
share that. Sam from Boston twenty nine is like my
second voicemail this week. Love you guys. I also just
got an independent hat and.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Okay, bye, Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
So I hear that voicemail from Sam and I'm like,
that is so cool. Legit. However, you can get comfort
from your father in law saying to his wife, Hey,
I'm here, I'm present, I got you. Some people might
hear that and be like, okay, coincidence. Of course, that
guy just had a similar name. He showed up. Nope,
(34:51):
you can believe whatever you want, Yes, you cannot prove that,
can't prove that there wasn't some finagling from above to
make sure that Christopher F. Showed up to fix the car.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
And did you see how old she was?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Twenty nine?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Twenty nine? H yeah, that's not gen z, that's still.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
A MILLENNI yeah, thanks Sam from Boston, twenty nine. Which
that's because we asked if we had any twenty year
olds listening.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
They're coming out of the I wanted to say wazoo, Nope,
wood works yep. And I wanted to say woodward, but
I felt that was wrong. It's woodworks, wood work.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Coming out of the woodwork, would work, woodworks? Got it,
would work? Could have wood? Would chuck? Could chuck wood?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (35:43):
We have what is that saying?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
How much?
Speaker 2 (35:46):
How much wood could have? Would chuck of a wood?
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Check?
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Could chuck wood?
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yeah. So thank you Sam for sharing that really sweet story.
And I'm glad that y'all got that experience as a
family to get that sign on that night. It's just
really special.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah. And both of those stories are little glimmers to
show you you can interpret things however you need to
interpret them. And like you kept saying, like prove me,
I'm wrong, you can't period.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah, So my bird feeder fell off of my window.
I had the suction cup one and it's just kept falling.
So I think the sections something's wrong with them. So
now I think it's fine. I need to upgrade to
a stick in the ground kind that I can hang.
(36:36):
It's what I had at my other house. And I
don't know where my pole went when I moved. Speaking
of when we moved, something happened to my bird feeder
pole did. Maybe I left it to them as a gift,
and maybe they are getting to enjoy the birds. That's
a good point. But I need to go find another
good feeder like that because the section cups just aren't
(36:57):
doing it for me anymore. And I think, think if
I get a bigger one that hangs, I can service
more birds.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
You already have so many birds that can.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
But the one that was suction cupt like, honestly, online
it looked bigger than it was when it came in
the mail. Was a little disappointing. I was sort of like, well,
I liked it. It was like a clear box. I
know it was cute, but it was small, Like I
need need more, I need a bigger home, okay, for
my birds to come visit so that I can have
more visitors, more signs. But Sam, thank you so much
(37:29):
for that. And we love hearing from y'all. Whether it's email, voicemail.
You can hit us up hey there at Feeling Things
podcast dot com. If you want to send something in,
type it up, but if you want to call you
just hit up eight seven seven two oh seven two
oh seven seven. And we'll close with some fun facts
(37:53):
about our brains. This is something Cat pulled again. If
you want to try to read it, you totally can
or I'm happy to read it for you. But I
love learning our brains.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
I'm gonna try to read it because I'm gonna maybe
who knows if I'm gonna elaborate on some of this. Okay,
So you know how I've been saying I hate my
algorithms because it's all like maternity clothes and strollers, which
I'm over that. Yeah, So I've been trying to upgrade
my algorithm. So I just started searching like interesting things.
This is one of the videos that came up. So
(38:24):
this comes from a neuroscience major at Stanford. His name
is Peter McGinnis. And he said, as he's learning about
the brain, he wanted to share some of the interesting
things he's learning to the world. I have four facts.
Some of them I knew. I think one or two
(38:45):
of them you might know. This one I did not know,
and I think it's crazy. Your eyes are blind about
forty percent of your waking life.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
What does that even mean? Sorry, my brain can't okay understand.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
He said, Like when you scan things, like when you
look across a room, you'll notice that your eyes don't
like just like they they hop, your eyeballs hop. They
don't just glide. And so every time your eyeball see
you're that's hopping. I can see your eyeball hopping. Okay,
So every time your eyeball hops, when it's moving, it's
(39:26):
not on, it's not seen anything. And what your brain
does is it fills in the gaps of what it
thinks it would see during that time. So forty you
don't know it because your brain fills in the gap.
But forty percent of your life your eyes aren't even seen. Crazy, crazy, Okay.
Number two, this is I think a more well known
(39:47):
emotional pain uses the exact same circuit as physical pain.
So this is why, like when you go through like
a heartbreak or when somebody passes away or something like that, Like,
have you ever been like this? It hurts so bad.
It's because in the brain it's the same exact thing happening,
just not happening to your body, physical body.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Yeah, I think I got a really good understanding of
that after I read Body keeps the Score.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Oh yeah, Okay, so I think that's a more widely
known fact, but still interesting.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Yeah, especially when you're thinking of trauma of the brain. Yeah,
your brain doesn't know. Oh, it's this trauma right here
from did I hit my head or was there some
sort of emotional abuse situation happening?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Speaking of trauma, I finished The Nightingale.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Oh gosh, I just recommended it to Ali on Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Okay, very good book. I know Amy's already said she
loved it. I had dreams of being in the Holocaust
while I was reading that book. I don't know if
that's because I'm pregnant I'm having crazy dreams, but it
was so good. Number three, this I relate to, well,
everybody's going to relate part of it. But your body
is fully paralyzed during rem sleep. Your brain shuts down
(41:06):
motor neurons, so you can't move at all when you're
in rem sleep. And this is where sleep paralysis comes from,
because when your conscious body wakes up, sometimes your motor
neurons still are shut off. So do you get sleep paralysis?
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
I know right you would one hundred percent. Note because
it's terrifying, like you wake up and you can see
around you, but like you can't move, and sometimes I do.
I've done this a couple of times with Patrick in
the bed and I'll be trying to yell but it
will just come out as a whisper and he'll have
to like shake me and wake me up.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yeah, But the reason your body does that it paralyzes
you is because your brain does not trust that you
won't act out your dreams.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
So like if you're dreaming, what if you're like in
a fight or something like that, or I mean that
could lead to more like sleepwalking and stuf stuff like that. Which,
speaking of my husband, he does act out his dreams sometimes,
so I don't think he's in rep sleep very often.
He's like kicked and he's done a lot of weird
things in sleep. But one time, he was kicking and
(42:14):
so I woke him up and I was like, what
are you doing? And he was like, I'm playing soccer.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Just he didn't play soccer.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
No, we did not play soccer, but we were I'm
pretty sure we were watching ted Lasso at that point,
so he probably like had that on his dome, you know.
So he's done that, he's like punched the air and stuff,
so he needs more sleep, is what I gathered from that. Okay,
this number four. You might know this already, but I
(42:45):
don't think it's as widely known. Every single time you
are remembering something, you aren't remembering it, you are recalling it.
So every time you do this you have to rewrite
and rewire the story in your brain. Oh, like, we
don't store memories like just as like the full memory.
(43:06):
We have to like recall it and retell it.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
So but each recalling like so, say yes so, and
that's the last version you remember, and then the next
time you recall it, if something else alters, then that's
what you remember about it. So it's never the actual
exact memory, which like he.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Was the guy was talking about. This is why like
eyewitnesses and stuff and like trials are like not the
most reliable because their stories change a little bit every time,
not because they're trying to be liars, which because that's natural.
But then he did say flies, flies, the insect they
do store memories and remember them the same every time.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Prove it and that prove it?
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Questions, how do you know that?
Speaker 2 (43:48):
And he's probably like, prove it to prove I'm wrong.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
You can't tell me I'm wrong.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Flies don't. Gardenals can remember faces. They're one of the
birds that can.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
There's I guess that you can kind of prove it,
prove it, prove it that you can prove easier than
a fly.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Remember that's their memory, like, oh, I'm not gonna go
over there anymore. Fly over here, like that person might
swat at me.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
I feel like flies probably don't have good memories because
they do stupid things, like it'll fly back on you
after you tried to kill it.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
We were talking on the Bobby Bone Show earlier this week.
I think it was that there are more deaths from
mosquitoes than welcome into my brain. We were talking about flies,
and that makes me think of mosquitoes. Mosquitoes look like flies,
and they kill more people than you know, sharks or
things were really scared of. Because I go outside, I'm like, okay,
(44:49):
maybe I'll put on a little bugs bray because mosquito.
But like if I go get in the ocean, like
I'm scared of a shark, like scared, But the likelihood
of me dying from mosquito is higher than a shark.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Well, is it the mosquitoes in our area Neck of
the woods or is mosquitoes And like other countries.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
It just depends if they travel this way. I know
there's mosquitos in the US that cause illnesses. They spread
all kinds of diseases. And ticks are on the rise
right now.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Oh wait they are.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Yeah, you can google it. But I'm terrified of ticks.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Have you ever had one?
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Yes? Okay, and it left a bump on my arm
for months. I mailed it off though, to make sure
it wasn't full of anything, and it was fine, like
the tick was. It didn't have lime or anything. Is
it lime or limes? Either way, it didn't have a
alpha gal alpha gal syndrome. You haven't seen people with that.
It's from a tick bite. It's where your face swells
(45:56):
up if you eat meat after you get stung by
a tick. Yes, such a like a freak thing, very freak.
Aaron Opria had it. She's a does it go Away
trainer here in town. She eats very specifically, like all
of her stuff was beef, Like she eats beef. She
puts beef tallow on her skin, and she could like
everything was making her completely swell up and get super
(46:21):
inflamed because of a tick bite that she got. And
she got diagnosed and sure enough she has alpha gal syndrome.
She found a solution. She did a bunch of different
I mean, her protocol is crazy. I can't even tell
you everything I saw her do. I think she's even
writing a book about it because of her healing process
(46:42):
and she had to be very strict, but she was
able to watch her face go down after she started implementing.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Well that's how full lime disease plan.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Yeah, I know. So anyway, ticks and that's.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Really ending this podcast on a high note. If you
go outside you could die.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
So come up with to your final death wish, right
to put a bow on it. We hope wherever you are,
you have the day you need to have.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Bye.
While we hope Couch Talks can be a tool that
helps and supports wherever you are in life, Couch Talks
does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy
or any mental health services.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
A right break it down.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
If you ever have feelings that you just falls home,
Amy and Cat gotcha, Cob and locking No, brother ladies
and felas, do you just follow Ann the spirit where.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's all pron real stuff to the chill stuff and
m but Swayne. Sometimes the best thing you can do it.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Just stop you feel things. This is Feeling Things with
Amy and Kat. Happy Thursday, Welcome to Couch Talks, our
Q and a episode to the Feeling Things podcast. I'm
Amy and I'm Cat. Oh there it is. That's Kat's voice.
If you heard the Feeling Things episode on Tuesday this week,
(00:53):
you know that Ali Fallon filled in for Cat because
Cat didn't have a voice.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
And it's gotten better. It has let me try again. Okay,
and I'm Kat.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
So Kat is here and she brought some stuff. In
addition to the email that we have from a listener,
we've got a voicemail from one of you. And then
Kat brought some other interesting things to talk about and
they're in the dock and I haven't really gotten over them.
And I asked her, do you want me to read
them for you? And she said, okay, I'll set them
up and then you can read them. So I want
(01:28):
you to be able to save your voice. Yeah, which,
what is your official diagnosis, because you've had two false
readings or diagnoses. Ye, Well, you had one doctor tell
you had strut throat and then a few days later
they say, no, you didn't have strup throat. And then
you said you were told you had an ear infection
(01:48):
and then turns out you didn't.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
No, I did have a re ear infection.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Oh you did.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah. So I went to the doctor first and she says,
and I did a strap test, the most aggressi strap
tests I've ever had done. It was bad, you know
when they stick the thing down your throat, And she
said it showed up positive, but she said it was
very light, so she wanted to send it off to
(02:12):
like double check. She said she would call me what
she didn't. So I thought that meant that I did
have strep. And then I took an antibiotic. I didn't
get any better, which is weird if you have strip.
Antibiotics cleared it up real fast. So I went back
to the doctor. It was an urgent care, so I
same place, but I got a different doctor the second time.
Sometimes I a voice sounds normal, don't you think. So
(02:35):
then that doctor said, oh, she didn't call you. You
didn't have strap, And I was like, oh, okay, I
wish I would have known. But then I had ear pain.
So he looked into my ear and he was like,
you do have an ear infection. So I got a
different antibiotic for that.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
But do you remember texting me that you didn't have
an ear infection? No?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Did I do?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah? You did?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I thought, I said I did.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Oh and then you were like, oh, oh, well, I
don't know. Maybe a lot of texts going back and forth,
like so many, Like even our recording time today got
messed up because we were texting so much, trying to
figure out our schedules when we could get together and
if Kat was actually going to be able to talk.
So anyway, shout out to Ali Fallon for filling in.
Thank you for you on Tuesday. And then we do
(03:18):
have an email from a listener who is asked to
remain anonymous given some of the details and with that
we'll just roll right into the email and Kat will
offer her her licensed therapist thoughts in as few words
as possible.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
This is like an exercise on being concise for me.
We'll see how I do.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Maybe I need to try to lose my voice, so
I learned to be more concise. Hi, Amy and Kat.
I am a fortyish year old wife and mom of
two kids, and lately I've been struggling with feelings of jealousy, regret,
and wondering if if I missed my chance to become
the person I wanted to be. In my twenties, I
(04:04):
chose adventure over security. I left a stable job and
moved to another town because I dreamed of being in music.
When that didn't work out, I went to culinary school
and eventually built a personal chef business that I ran
for a long time. I never made a lot of money,
but I loved the freedom and creativity. Now I'm married
(04:26):
with two young kids, and I've spent the last few
years mostly as a stay at home mom. My husband
has a good job, we are financially stable, and by
many measures, I have a beautiful life. But I can't
shake the feeling that I should have more. By now,
we live in a starter home in a neighborhood that
isn't where I imagined raising my family. I look at friends, cousins,
(04:48):
and relatives who have bigger homes, more disposable income, and
lives that seem easier, and I find myself feeling jealous.
Then I feel guilty for being jealous, because I know
I have so much to be grateful for. Sometimes I
wonder if I made the wrong choices, if I had
stayed in my first career and followed a more traditional path,
(05:10):
would I have the financial security and lifestyle I want today?
How do you make peace with the roads you didn't take?
How do you stop comparing your life to everyone else's?
And how do you know whether you're being ungrateful for
what you have versus listening to a legitimate desire for
something more. I'd love your thoughts. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Okay, I have a couple thoughts. Make this as short
as sweet as I can. First, I'm gonna address the
question she put in the very end. The first thing
I would say is there's no way for us to
not be jealous of envious of other people's lives if
(05:52):
we're comparing our lives to theirs. Anytime you're comparing your
life to somebody else's life, you're going to come up
wanting something that's not necessarily bad, but it can be
harmful if if she's in the state that she's in,
and it's hard not to compare. I think it's a
natural thing we do, but I think it's helpful to know,
factually anybody, if we're comparing our lives to other people's lives,
(06:16):
there's going to be something that we don't have that
we want because nobody has it all. The other thing
I would say when it comes to thinking about the
road that you didn't take, is when we do that,
every time we are second guessing, not taking a different
road or making the wrong choice, we assume that if
(06:37):
we took that other choice, everything would go perfectly, and
so when we look at the end goal, we look
at the end goal as like everything worked out perfectly,
but we don't know what would happen. So you could
have done the other thing, and we don't know where
you would have ended up, but you assume that you're
going to end up here.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
But that's not always the case, and you might have
ended up at a certain point down that road and wondered,
I wonder what would have happened if I had gone
right this other route, which is the route you actually
took right, that version of you could be wondering.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
The same thing, and that you might have more money,
you could be more miserable, like you. We don't know.
Like this is even if you did have the stable
job then you climbed a corporate ladder or whatever and
you were financially stable, that doesn't mean you would have
liked your life more because then you could have been
looking at your friends' lives and been comparing the things
that you didn't have in that life. So it could
(07:31):
have been the family or the kids, or the relationships
with the kids, or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
It's interesting because there's likely somebody in your circle or
in your orbit, or someone that knows you that is
sitting at home potentially comparing themselves to your life wishing
they had it.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
One hundred percent. Yeah, so I think those two things
would be just food for thought to sit on. It's
hard to just stop thinking, but I think if we
start thinking, well, if I pay more attention to the
things that this choice did give me, no matter what
choice I make, I'm gonna be. But like I said,
(08:06):
nobody has every single thing, even if they make you
think they have it. So what's the most important part?
Like sounds like the family and the life you created
was the most important part versus like the kids.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah, that path may not have given you them. And
I I have had thoughts like this before. You're not
alone in these thoughts at all. I'm sure there's a
lot of people that have them. So thank you for
being vulnerable and sending this in. And y'all can always
send ustuff and ask to be anonymous, and we'll do that.
And even in the email, Kat, I don't know if
your tete was ready. I tried to leave out other
(08:40):
things that might giveaway. I altered a little bit, so
if you're listening here, I left out some details. And
I know you're not the only person thinking this sort
of thing. And Kat and I have thought similar stuff,
probably just in a different a different way, like oh,
what I wonder if I would have done this, or
(09:01):
I wonder if I would have kept dating this person
or my college boyfriend, or we got married. I remember
when we broke up. I was so devastated because I
thought that's who I was going to marry, and so
much of my life looks different. But I think had
I stayed with him and we built a life like
that would have just been my life and that's what
I would have known. But thinking about it now, there's
(09:23):
so much I would have missed out on and looks
sort of like, huh, I'm kind of glad that that
didn't work out. But I bet if it had worked out,
Who knows what things I would be second guessing or
things I would be super grateful for, And I wouldn't
want to change a thing. I think ultimately it comes
down to having peace with your decision and making peace
(09:44):
with yourself in where you are and knowing that those
questions may pop up. But how long are you going
to let them hang out? Well?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah, yeah, what's the weight that you give those questions?
Is that question saying you made a wrong decision or
oh I wonder what would have happened? Like being curious
about it is different than having deep regret.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
And giving it. This grass is greener vibe when there's
the other saying the grass is browner. Hi, you know
that one?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I heard that.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Wow, it's very you know people, I think that the
grass is going to be greener, but no, it sure
it might, and it also might be browner.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, it might be browner. And that's I think that's
actually the concise way of saying like, we assume that
the best case scenario happens in the other decision, but
we don't know that it could have been way browner
if you would have gone the other out. We don't know,
and we never will know. But that's also a possibility.
So it's not fair to you to assume that it
would have been perfect or better.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Or right or wrong or Yeah. Well, the choices you
made were yours and that's what you chose at the time,
and it got you here, so you're in control of
where you get to go next. Yeah, and I would
highly encourage you not to go anywhere because of any
sort of comparison, but do some internal reflection on what
you really want in the next chapter, whatever that may
(11:16):
look like, or however long it may take to get
to that next chapter. Because when you've got kids, a
certain age is sort of like, okay, this is my
chapter right now, but when things can shift a little bit,
what could that look like for you? And what do
you want it to look like? And what a picturing
little blocks right now, like if you're building something like
what little blocks can you start laying groundwork for now
(11:37):
that you may want to work.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Towards because your life's not over. No, not in close.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
We don't think hope, do we say her age? I
think I did, so forty ish is what I said. So, yeah,
forty ish, that's my age. Forty ish.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
You got a lot of life to live.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I have a lot of life to live, and I
definitely should have could have wooded my life, and I
have come to terms that I'm grateful for where I
am and those questions may pop up from time to time,
but like Cat said, how much weight am I going
to give them?
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And not much.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I want them to kind of be there and then
flutter away because I want to focus on where I
am now and where I'm going, not who I could
have been been. It's and nothing's ever too late for me.
I still have dreams.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Goals about that was cute. I still dream I do.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I want to do more movies? Have I told you that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I know there's a lot of things I feel like
you're gonna do. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Every time I see an elderly person in a show
like like, yeah, a grandma character.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I know not there yet.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I know I'm not there yet, but no, that means
I have time. Like there's always a role the elderly.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
What I think, what I think of that when I've
seen an elderly person is dang it, I don't want
to be working one of that old Hell you're the
opposite man, You're like.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I see them and I see opportunity for me. Since
I have delayed my acting lessons, I was taking them
and then I quit, and I've thought about going back,
and honestly, similar to this emailer emailer is that what
(13:25):
we call that? This listener that emails and about this
it's different, but same vibes of ah. If I had
only just stuck with it and continued my lessons and
submitted auditions like I told myself I was going to do,
I might already have bookings for something, but I didn't.
(13:47):
I stopped, and then I have not been able to
get back into it. But I'm looking back like, oh, dang,
I should have done that, And where would I be
if I had done it? Well, okay I didn't. So
now moving forward, I just have to give myself time
and like I said, the good news is every time
I see an older actress or actor, I'm like, there's
hope I have time.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Well, speaking of your life not being over yet, I
do have a little story about death.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Or these are the dying wishes that you haven't I
haven't read over them at all, but I didn't know
if you wanted me to try to read them for you.
Want to give it a go. Well, okay, because you
sound kind of it's like sexy cat.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I don't think this is sexy, but thank you. Well,
I'll let you read the blurb. It's not my question
for you after you read this, because this is as
Amy reads it. She's reading it for the first time,
so she hasn't seen the story. My question for you
is what would your dying wish be? Okay, because I
don't think this would be mine, but I thought this
(14:49):
was so cool.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
All right, let me read it. What would your dying
wish be? A Michigan man known for his generosity made
one final jaw dropping gesture to think his community by
(15:13):
literally making it rain cash from a helicopter at his funeral.
Darryl plant Thomas, a beloved car wash owner in East Detroit,
died from Alzheimer's at fifty eight and was laid to
rest on June seventh, twenty twenty five. Traffic came to
a standstill as stun drivers stopped their cars, some right
in the middle of the road to grab the cash.
(15:36):
The dramatic sind off was orchestrated by his sons, who
said it was their father's dying wish to give back
one last time by showering the streets. The helicopter drop
was intended as a final blessing to the community he
had served for years. While the stunning farewell delighted locals
and brought traffic to a standstill, it also promoted a
(15:58):
Federal Aviation Administration an investigation, as the family had only
cleared the drop of rose petals in advance, not money, So.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
A little surprised. Okay, what in the world, what would
you do if you're driving down the interstate and it
was just raining cash.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
I guess I would try to get me some.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Yeah. Also, do you think his sons were mad?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
No, I think that if that was their dad's dying wish,
they were probably glad. I kept I'm sure they got
an inheritance. If he was this generous like this, I'm
sure he's like, hey, kids, this is for you, and
then this will be a cool thing for you to
go do in my honor.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
And also we should go into the car wash business. Yeah,
sounds like it.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Ever since I watched Breaking Bad, I think every car
wash is a drug front washing money. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I couldn't get into that show. I started it twice.
It's Patrick's like favorite show.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Oh, that's one of the best shows.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
He said, it's the best show of all time.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Ever, I don't know that I would say of all time,
but for me it was high up there, and so
that's crazy to me. You weren't able to get into.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It's a lot of anxiety to me.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
So, like, what's a show you get into?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Oh, I'm really into the Widow's Bay right now. I'm
really into the Summerhouse Reunion. Okay, yeah, but okay, I
want to get back to this because what would your
dying You might not know because you've I've thought about dying.
But do you like a dying wish? Like how do
you want people your last thing to be?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I definitely don't have an answer at this moment. If
you have one to share, that would be great, because
right now, while I think what he did is super generous.
I'm also stuck on the fact that he died at
fifty eight from Alzheimer's. Yeah, that like is really sad now,
and now I feel rush to start my acting career
because fifty eight, I'm forty five.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, but does Alzheimer's run in your family?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
My aunt and my uncle had it. Okay, see, nothing
to worry about. Also, we did this grip strength thing
on the Bobby Bone Show, and grip strength is also
a factor that can use to determine your lifespan. And
I had the weakest grip strength on the show.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Well, you're also being compared to.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
But no, Morgan did it too, and they're both smaller
than me. They were way stronger in the grip challenge.
So now I'm worried.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Okay, well, let's do some exercises.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I know. Well, I'm just gonna work out in general.
I think I'm just going to start hanging from a bar.
My ex boyfriend of all people DM me. Wait a
video on Instagram. Yeah, my latest boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I know which one we're talking about.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
You have.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
There's either the one from high school, then there's no
not Yeah, there's a high school boyfriend, college boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
That sounds like if this is a college boyfriend, that's crazy. DD.
You didn't tell me that.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I don't even think he has Instagram. Uh. Then ex
husband and then ex boyfriend. Okay, so the boyfriend I
just had, he sent me a DM on Instagram because
you knows I have ADHD and it's it was some
video showing that if you have ADHD, you should hang
from a bar. Just hang like, grip it and hang
(19:12):
for as long as you can. Every day. It was
some kid hanging from me. Why why don't have all
of the details. I didn't plan on I didn't plan
on talking about this today. In a nutshell, From what
I remember from the video, there's some correlation between the
hanging and cognitive health.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Interesting, hanging is hard. I could never do the monkey bars.
That's what it is for you, same right. I could
never do it growing up.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
I mean, like, you know, if you soar from like
I saw it this soaring, but really they were just
going like one bar to the next. That was for
me too. I think that's ADHD.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I think that was like I was a weak child
or something. I don't know, But as an adult, there
was a playground next to this running route that I
used to run at every day. I would stop my
run and do it until I could go across the
whole thing. And I finally was able to do it
at like thirty two years old.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
You prove to yourself.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But I can't do it now. And that's not because
I'm pregnant, because I haven't done it in years.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah, it's hard. I'm gonna start hanging and then I'll
get more of the details from or people can google it. Well,
speaking of that same ex boyfriend, I borrowed his hanging
bar some pull up challenge we were maybe gonna do
on the Bobby Bone Show, oh a year ago or something.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I have to come over to get.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No. No, he did text me a couple of months
ago and said, hey, right after we broke up, and
he said, hey, is my pull up bar still at
the studio? And I said, yeah, I'll put it in
my car. So I put it in my car, and
now it's still in my car, so I guess I
could I still have it, and so now I could
just have to see him bust it out today. Well,
now I don't want to give it back because I
need it now. I need to hang from it to
(20:55):
extend my life.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
He set you that, DM, then he is that's his fault.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
The DM was probably like another hint, where's my bar?
Like I thought he was all being thoughtful, like thank
you that you saw my bar, thank you for thinking
of my ADHD And he's like, no, no, really, where's
my bar?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Also?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Anyways, I don't have a dying wish yet, do you No.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I don't have a dying wish, but I do think
about sometimes, like what kind of funeral do you want? Like,
because you know sometimes people plan their funeral before they die,
Like do you just want the traditional or do you
want to party?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I want a celebration of life. That's what we called
my mom's funeral, and I loved the vibe of that,
like there was a good mixture of morning and celebration.
So I'm fine with that. I'm fine with photos music.
Like my mom's funeral we had at my sister's church
and her praise and worship team came and so there
(21:52):
was a full blown like band. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I went like, oh, it was a legit a wedding
type vibe.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Like, well, it was in giving. We did have food,
we catered it. Afterwards and had tables set up outside
where people could grab and we got ordered some of
my mom's favorite foods from a local place, and my
sister and I got up. We spoke. I believe there
was a slide show that somebody put together, so there
was photos and the whole thing. Other people spoke. We
(22:22):
had my mom's army. I don't I don't know if
we called it army.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Did we call it army like her Judy's warriors. I
don't know her arm Maybe it was her army. Give
me other words, like that her tribe has something, maybe
trime the people that made sure she was never at
an appointment alone like all of her girlfriends, and in
that it was just that it was this line of
my mom's girlfriends, and then my dad because he was
(22:49):
part of her team, like even though they had been divorced.
Like there was a time she had to go to
Houston because she lived in Austin, but her treatment was
at M. D. Anderson and so her appointments were sometimes
down and back same day. Sometimes they spend the night,
sometimes not, but occasionally my dad if nobody else could
go my dad's like I can do it I'll take
her sweet. Isn't that so sweet? Her little army?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
So there was.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
It was a mixture of that something that Chase told
me the other day. A friend of ours he has
written himself a letter to be read at his funeral,
and he's already given it to a friend should anything
happen to him. His friend knows this needs to be
read at my funeral.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Hey, is he going to update that like every five years?
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I feel like it should be updated, like I made
this far, here's a new letter, or.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Maybe there's a stack of letters and it's like, Okay,
this is Chase's letter from twenty twenty six, and this
is Chase's letter from the good point. I need to
ask if he plans on updating it. But I don't
know where he got that idea or why he thought
of it. He did say he wanted it to be
like a celebration, and he wanted to be out on
his family's ranch like, not at a church, not at
(23:55):
a building. He wanted to be outdoors like a celebration.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
I learned something interesting and I didn't fact check this,
so if I'm wrong, sorry, guys in the Singapore. I
think or it's some country similar. If you get buried,
you have to pay like ten dollars or something like
every year. You have to continue to pay to keep
yourself buried. And so I mean a family member, like
(24:22):
if I died, Patrick would probably pay it every year
to keep me buried. But then eventually you're going to
run enough people to be paying it, and so they
dig you up and do what. I don't know. I
assume they cremated the people. I guess because there's not
enough land for all the dead people. They need the space.
(24:43):
Isn't that crazy? I think if that was the case,
I would just I think I want to be cremated anyway,
But like I think I would just be cremated. You
can imagine like fifty years later, your body being dug up.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I suppose I won't really know. I get your your
soul might am I, but I'll be like, I'm having
a good time up here, or do you what you
want down there? All good? I'm assuming them up.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I think about that subtimes when I'm like, see the
graveyard and I'm like, when does it end? I know
we're going to run out of space.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, it is interesting. My mom went casket. My dad
went cremation, so that's something you need to decide. And
your your last dying wish, how do you want to go?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Because I think I want my ashes spread somewhere uh huh,
somewhere cool, maybe somewhere where it's like I legal to
spread them. But you do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
M there's such a rebel, such a rebel, well, I
won't be doing it. Speaking of death, I didn't even
know you had the thing about the dying wish, but
I pulled a cool voicemail that we have that is
a sign from the other side. Okay, you know how
I like signs. And speaking of my mom and my dad,
my mom is a cardinal and my dad is a
(25:57):
blue jay. And I'm not saying this with one hundred
percent certainty like it's fact. However, it has served me
well the last My mom died in twenty fourteen, my
dad died in twenty twenty one. So I have many,
many years of these birds bringing me comfort and peace,
and that's all that matters. And if you don't want
(26:18):
someone to have comfort and peace, and that's.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
A you problem.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
If you think I'm crazy for seeing these birds and
talking to them and receiving my own messages from them,
like this very house cat and I are sitting in.
I only live here because my mom told me to
move as a bird. She did.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
She did.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
She did tell me. She didn't prove it, prove to me.
She did it because I was going to stay in
the house that I was in for a while. I'd
figured out a way. We got divorced, bought my husband out,
figured all that out or my ex husband, which it
wasn't easy to do, but it figured it out. I
(27:02):
was doing it. It was probably a little too much
of a house for just me, especially when the kids
were gone half the time, so it was a lot
of house. It was yeah, it was getting it was
the maintenance. It had the maintenance, just maintenance and keeping
up with it, or in the pool. There was just
things where I thought, do I need this? No? And
(27:25):
then I saw a cardinal in a tree at an
open house that I randomly decided to go to. And
when I saw the bird, my mom words of feeling
came over me that said, put your house on the market. Oh,
so what put your house on the market. Even though
(27:47):
I'm just at a random open house, like I'm contemplating
moving because the house was becoming a lot. But I
don't really think it's going to happen. And it's not.
The bird wasn't saying this house you're at buy this house.
It's not what the bird said. The bird said, put
your house on the market. I put my house on
the market. You know what happened. It didn't even make
(28:10):
it to market. The minute I got my realtor and
we started working towards putting it on the market. I
got a dumpster to start clearing things out, and my
neighbor saw the dumpster, and then I mentioned on the
Bobby Bone Show that I was considering like moving, like
getting my house together, but I did not say anything
(28:30):
about my house being on the market. Well, someone listening
to the show who knew my neighbor called my neighbor
and said, do you know if Amy's selling her house.
If she is, we want to buy it. And they
were like, well, we don't know, but we do see
a dumpster outside. So that neighbor reaches out to me
and I said, why yes, we are preparing it for market,
and she's like, he wants to come look at it.
Guess what They bought it before it even went onto market.
(28:53):
Cash off her asking price.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
It's like, what happened?
Speaker 2 (28:57):
That doesn't happen. So then I was like thank you.
So then guess what. They wanted to come look at
the house that night and I'm like, wait, it's not ready,
Like I have a dumpster in the driveway where she
was like, well, just get it as my realtor was like,
just get it as best you can. He doesn't even
have a realtor. They're not even going to use one.
They just want to use me for everything. I'm like,
(29:17):
what that realtor's like, hey, yeah, yeah. She's like they
just want to move quick. So she said, let's just
get your house as presentable as possible, and you and
the kids and the dog the cat load up in
the car and get out so they can tour it.
I'm like okay. So while we're doing that, we get
in the car and my daughter pulls up you know,
Zillow because we have nowhere to go and it's raining,
and we got a dog and a cat in the car,
(29:39):
like we've just we have to go drive around for
an hour and she said, oh, there's this house down here.
It just went on the market today. So we drive
past it. That's the house we're sitting in right now.
So then, because I knew that that night that that
guy wanted to buy my house cash, I called this
house just went on the market. I had my I said, realtor,
(30:00):
we needed to make an offer fast.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Wait a second, I just learned something what I thought.
Maybe I did know this, but I rewrote history in
my head. I thought the first house that you went
and looked at was this one.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
No, the first house I went and looked at was
where I saw the bird that's said.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
I thought that was this house.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Oh okay, No, I'm saying. That's why I'm being very
clear that the bird didn't say by this house, because
I wasn't even loving that house, Okay, I was just
there looking at it, dipping my toe in the water.
What too? What would moving look like for me? Do
I really want to do this? And when I went
into the backyard, and because it was an open house,
(30:39):
there were other kids running, Families were there with their kids.
There was lots of people looking at my friend or Caitlin,
Bobby's wife, she went with me. There was people around
that the bird and normally when kids run by like birds,
you know, fly away. My mom stayed there in the
tree long enough for me to hear put your house
(30:59):
on the market. So I put my house on the market.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
And and this house is so you here we are.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I feel much more. Yes, we downsized. It's cozier. I
love the vibe.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Oh thought you did try to move again? I did.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Now house was cue too, But that would have been dumb.
I think I was just you know, back to our
other email. Now we're going to get to the voicemail,
because Fred to tease that, but to the original anonymous
listener to the email, like that's a thing where I
think I was. I had other things going on, and
I was like, oh, maybe if I move that will
sort of fix it. No, that would have added more chaos.
(31:38):
But I did run through. Uh, should I have not
moved to this house? And then I could have eventually
gotten that house? And what if I would have stayed put?
And No, I made peace with where I am and
I've stuck it out and I'm so glad I did. So.
Just that's my advice. Make peace with where you are,
stick it out and you'll be so glad you did.
(32:01):
Maybe amen. Okay, Now onto the voicemail. This is from Sam.
This is from Sam. She's calling from Boston and this
(32:21):
is about a sign from beyond from her father in
law who passed away. Here's the voicemail.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
himI and kat I have always resonated with Amy because
she's always believed in signs. And I know some people
think it's silly, but you know, it is what it is.
If you accept the sign, then.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
You like the sign.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
So I just want to share this quick story that
just happened. So I just went out to dinner with
my fiance and my soon to be mother in law,
and it is my fiance's father's heavenly birthday. He passed
three years ago from cancer. And when we're all we
all drove in different cars, Me, my fiance and didn't
(33:04):
be mother in law because I drove from work, YadA, YadA, YadA.
And as we're driving home, we're all following each other
and Laura, she got a flat. So we're dealing with
the flat. John, my fiance, is trying to fix the
flat and it's not working. You know, he's really trying
to not call Triple A. I said, John, we need
(33:26):
a call Triple A. Triple I. Finally we get no
vacation for them, and it says Christopher F is on
the way scare car and that is my father in
law's name is Christopher F. I just wanted to share
that story because it is just so crazy, the signs
(33:50):
and how they come and when they come. Like we
literally just came back from a dinner, you know, honoring him.
His widow wife got flat and the person who is
coming to her rescue. His name is his first name,
last initial. So I just want to share that for
(34:10):
those people who do believe in signs, and if you do,
you probably appreciate the story. So I just need to
share that this literally just happened. Yeah, just want to
share that. Sam from Boston twenty nine is like my
second voicemail this week. Love you guys. I also just
got an independent hat and.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Okay, bye, Okay.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
So I hear that voicemail from Sam and I'm like,
that is so cool. Legit. However, you can get comfort
from your father in law saying to his wife, Hey,
I'm here, I'm present, I got you. Some people might
hear that and be like, okay, coincidence. Of course, that
guy just had a similar name. He showed up. Nope,
(34:51):
you can believe whatever you want, Yes, you cannot prove that,
can't prove that there wasn't some finagling from above to
make sure that Christopher F. Showed up to fix the car.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
And did you see how old she was?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Twenty nine?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Twenty nine? H yeah, that's not gen z, that's still.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
A MILLENNI yeah, thanks Sam from Boston, twenty nine. Which
that's because we asked if we had any twenty year
olds listening.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
They're coming out of the I wanted to say wazoo, Nope,
wood works yep. And I wanted to say woodward, but
I felt that was wrong. It's woodworks, wood work.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Coming out of the woodwork, would work, woodworks? Got it,
would work? Could have wood? Would chuck? Could chuck wood?
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (35:43):
We have what is that saying?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
How much?
Speaker 2 (35:46):
How much wood could have? Would chuck of a wood?
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Check?
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Could chuck wood?
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yeah. So thank you Sam for sharing that really sweet story.
And I'm glad that y'all got that experience as a
family to get that sign on that night. It's just
really special.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah. And both of those stories are little glimmers to
show you you can interpret things however you need to
interpret them. And like you kept saying, like prove me,
I'm wrong, you can't period.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah, So my bird feeder fell off of my window.
I had the suction cup one and it's just kept falling.
So I think the sections something's wrong with them. So
now I think it's fine. I need to upgrade to
a stick in the ground kind that I can hang.
(36:36):
It's what I had at my other house. And I
don't know where my pole went when I moved. Speaking
of when we moved, something happened to my bird feeder
pole did. Maybe I left it to them as a gift,
and maybe they are getting to enjoy the birds. That's
a good point. But I need to go find another
good feeder like that because the section cups just aren't
(36:57):
doing it for me anymore. And I think, think if
I get a bigger one that hangs, I can service
more birds.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
You already have so many birds that can.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
But the one that was suction cupt like, honestly, online
it looked bigger than it was when it came in
the mail. Was a little disappointing. I was sort of like, well,
I liked it. It was like a clear box. I
know it was cute, but it was small, Like I
need need more, I need a bigger home, okay, for
my birds to come visit so that I can have
more visitors, more signs. But Sam, thank you so much
(37:29):
for that. And we love hearing from y'all. Whether it's email, voicemail.
You can hit us up hey there at Feeling Things
podcast dot com. If you want to send something in,
type it up, but if you want to call you
just hit up eight seven seven two oh seven two
oh seven seven. And we'll close with some fun facts
(37:53):
about our brains. This is something Cat pulled again. If
you want to try to read it, you totally can
or I'm happy to read it for you. But I
love learning our brains.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
I'm gonna try to read it because I'm gonna maybe
who knows if I'm gonna elaborate on some of this. Okay,
So you know how I've been saying I hate my
algorithms because it's all like maternity clothes and strollers, which
I'm over that. Yeah, So I've been trying to upgrade
my algorithm. So I just started searching like interesting things.
This is one of the videos that came up. So
(38:24):
this comes from a neuroscience major at Stanford. His name
is Peter McGinnis. And he said, as he's learning about
the brain, he wanted to share some of the interesting
things he's learning to the world. I have four facts.
Some of them I knew. I think one or two
(38:45):
of them you might know. This one I did not know,
and I think it's crazy. Your eyes are blind about
forty percent of your waking life.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
What does that even mean? Sorry, my brain can't okay understand.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
He said, Like when you scan things, like when you
look across a room, you'll notice that your eyes don't
like just like they they hop, your eyeballs hop. They
don't just glide. And so every time your eyeball see
you're that's hopping. I can see your eyeball hopping. Okay,
So every time your eyeball hops, when it's moving, it's
(39:26):
not on, it's not seen anything. And what your brain
does is it fills in the gaps of what it
thinks it would see during that time. So forty you
don't know it because your brain fills in the gap.
But forty percent of your life your eyes aren't even seen. Crazy, crazy, Okay.
Number two, this is I think a more well known
(39:47):
emotional pain uses the exact same circuit as physical pain.
So this is why, like when you go through like
a heartbreak or when somebody passes away or something like that, Like,
have you ever been like this? It hurts so bad.
It's because in the brain it's the same exact thing happening,
just not happening to your body, physical body.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Yeah, I think I got a really good understanding of
that after I read Body keeps the Score.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Oh yeah, Okay, so I think that's a more widely
known fact, but still interesting.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Yeah, especially when you're thinking of trauma of the brain. Yeah,
your brain doesn't know. Oh, it's this trauma right here
from did I hit my head or was there some
sort of emotional abuse situation happening?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Speaking of trauma, I finished The Nightingale.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Oh gosh, I just recommended it to Ali on Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Okay, very good book. I know Amy's already said she
loved it. I had dreams of being in the Holocaust
while I was reading that book. I don't know if
that's because I'm pregnant I'm having crazy dreams, but it
was so good. Number three, this I relate to, well,
everybody's going to relate part of it. But your body
is fully paralyzed during rem sleep. Your brain shuts down
(41:06):
motor neurons, so you can't move at all when you're
in rem sleep. And this is where sleep paralysis comes from,
because when your conscious body wakes up, sometimes your motor
neurons still are shut off. So do you get sleep paralysis?
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
I know right you would one hundred percent. Note because
it's terrifying, like you wake up and you can see
around you, but like you can't move, and sometimes I do.
I've done this a couple of times with Patrick in
the bed and I'll be trying to yell but it
will just come out as a whisper and he'll have
to like shake me and wake me up.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yeah, But the reason your body does that it paralyzes
you is because your brain does not trust that you
won't act out your dreams.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
So like if you're dreaming, what if you're like in
a fight or something like that, or I mean that
could lead to more like sleepwalking and stuf stuff like that. Which,
speaking of my husband, he does act out his dreams sometimes,
so I don't think he's in rep sleep very often.
He's like kicked and he's done a lot of weird
things in sleep. But one time, he was kicking and
(42:14):
so I woke him up and I was like, what
are you doing? And he was like, I'm playing soccer.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Just he didn't play soccer.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
No, we did not play soccer, but we were I'm
pretty sure we were watching ted Lasso at that point,
so he probably like had that on his dome, you know.
So he's done that, he's like punched the air and stuff,
so he needs more sleep, is what I gathered from that. Okay,
this number four. You might know this already, but I
(42:45):
don't think it's as widely known. Every single time you
are remembering something, you aren't remembering it, you are recalling it.
So every time you do this you have to rewrite
and rewire the story in your brain. Oh, like, we
don't store memories like just as like the full memory.
(43:06):
We have to like recall it and retell it.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
So but each recalling like so, say yes so, and
that's the last version you remember, and then the next
time you recall it, if something else alters, then that's
what you remember about it. So it's never the actual
exact memory, which like he.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Was the guy was talking about. This is why like
eyewitnesses and stuff and like trials are like not the
most reliable because their stories change a little bit every time,
not because they're trying to be liars, which because that's natural.
But then he did say flies, flies, the insect they
do store memories and remember them the same every time.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Prove it and that prove it?
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Questions, how do you know that?
Speaker 2 (43:48):
And he's probably like, prove it to prove I'm wrong.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
You can't tell me I'm wrong.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Flies don't. Gardenals can remember faces. They're one of the
birds that can.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
There's I guess that you can kind of prove it,
prove it, prove it that you can prove easier than
a fly.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Remember that's their memory, like, oh, I'm not gonna go
over there anymore. Fly over here, like that person might
swat at me.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
I feel like flies probably don't have good memories because
they do stupid things, like it'll fly back on you
after you tried to kill it.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
We were talking on the Bobby Bone Show earlier this week.
I think it was that there are more deaths from
mosquitoes than welcome into my brain. We were talking about flies,
and that makes me think of mosquitoes. Mosquitoes look like flies,
and they kill more people than you know, sharks or
things were really scared of. Because I go outside, I'm like, okay,
(44:49):
maybe I'll put on a little bugs bray because mosquito.
But like if I go get in the ocean, like
I'm scared of a shark, like scared, But the likelihood
of me dying from mosquito is higher than a shark.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Well, is it the mosquitoes in our area Neck of
the woods or is mosquitoes And like other countries.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
It just depends if they travel this way. I know
there's mosquitos in the US that cause illnesses. They spread
all kinds of diseases. And ticks are on the rise
right now.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Oh wait they are.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Yeah, you can google it. But I'm terrified of ticks.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Have you ever had one?
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Yes? Okay, and it left a bump on my arm
for months. I mailed it off though, to make sure
it wasn't full of anything, and it was fine, like
the tick was. It didn't have lime or anything. Is
it lime or limes? Either way, it didn't have a
alpha gal alpha gal syndrome. You haven't seen people with that.
It's from a tick bite. It's where your face swells
(45:56):
up if you eat meat after you get stung by
a tick. Yes, such a like a freak thing, very freak.
Aaron Opria had it. She's a does it go Away
trainer here in town. She eats very specifically, like all
of her stuff was beef, Like she eats beef. She
puts beef tallow on her skin, and she could like
everything was making her completely swell up and get super
(46:21):
inflamed because of a tick bite that she got. And
she got diagnosed and sure enough she has alpha gal syndrome.
She found a solution. She did a bunch of different
I mean, her protocol is crazy. I can't even tell
you everything I saw her do. I think she's even
writing a book about it because of her healing process
(46:42):
and she had to be very strict, but she was
able to watch her face go down after she started implementing.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Well that's how full lime disease plan.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Yeah, I know. So anyway, ticks and that's.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Really ending this podcast on a high note. If you
go outside you could die.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
So come up with to your final death wish, right
to put a bow on it. We hope wherever you are,
you have the day you need to have.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Bobby Bones
Amy Brown
Lunchbox
Eddie Garcia
Morgan Huelsman
Raymundo
Mike D
Abby Anderson
Scuba Steve
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