September 4, 2026 • 57 mins
Do you touch your hair or fidget with your jewelry at work? We're breaking down a communication expert's take on small nervous habits, twirling your hair, fixing your earrings, playing with loud bangles, and why these tiny, seemingly harmless movements can unintentionally read as nervousness or even flirtation to the people around you.
We talk about the upcoming Verity movie and get into 7 research-backed morning habits that couples who stay in love tend to share, from a 6-second kiss to connecting before checking your phone.
We got a sweet DM from a listener grateful for the show's prep work ahead of Kat's baby, a hilariously dark confession about making a younger sibling cry on purpose as a kid, and a whimsical mental reframe for creating your own "golden ticket" to a great day.
We're also continuing our Hasbro Moment series, this week honoring a school librarian who creates a true sense of community for her students, and celebrating how games like Jenga, Scrabble, and Trivial Pursuit sneak in real learning through play.
Hasbro is sponsoring Feeling Things for 8 weeks, celebrating back to school by getting families around the table with games again.
Even better: they're helping us honor amazing teachers! Know one? Email heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com or call 877-207-2077, they could get featured on the show, plus a $500 Walmart gift card from Hasbro for classroom supplies.
Grab your favorite Hasbro games like Jenga, Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit & more at Walmart.com!
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Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077
Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
One, two, three.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just want some,
Amy and Kat got you covered like an umbrella. Ladies
and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where it
tell us.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in-between.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop
and feel things.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday.
Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
And I'm Kat.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Okay, quick question for you. Do you feel like you
fidget at work and touch your hair or your jewelry
or your necklace?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I always am touching my earrings. I go like this.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Well, I saw on a reel from Hot Smart Rich,
which is the name of a podcast, and I don't
follow it, but it pops up in my FYP all
the time. And this caught my attention. PSA, ladies, stop
touching yourself at work. And I touch my hair and
my face all the time. Apparently for men, it's very
(01:05):
distracting when we do this and it reads as you
are nervous or you like me. What is considered self-touch?
Fixing or tucking your hair, fixing our earrings, tucking our clothes,
wringing our hands, playing with our bracelets, especially when they
are loud bangles. Loud bangles take away from your competence.
(01:28):
even though it has nothing to do with your competence.
A loud bangle is considered an audible self-touch. So a
pro tip, your hair, jewelry, and clothing should be able
to live as they are in the workplace. We don't
need to fidget with them or touch them.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I have thoughts. One, I don't like calling this self-touch.
Self-touch to me means something else, which is fine, but
those are different. And we shouldn't be doing self-touch at work.
That is fair.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I know. Well, that's probably why the PSA got me. Ladies,
stop touching yourself at work. I'm like, huh. But I
do know what they're referring to. And I do fidget
all the time.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
But also what I don't like is that one of
the things is like men take that as you like me.
It's like, oh, come on.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Get over yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Like not everything's about you sometimes. it just feels good
to play with my earring. Like it's self soothing to me.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
There's an earring that I was unclipping and.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I love unclipping and clipping my earring too.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Except for, have you noticed it breaks your earrings faster?
There's two that have gone down. I know that had
prematurely stopped clipping because I was opening and closing, opening
and closing, opening and closing. And then it's a real bummer.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
What is a bummer for me is when it gets
off kilter and then I can't close it. And then
it's distracting because then I'm, trying to work but also
I'm like oh I guess I'll just take the.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Earring out there is something really satisfying about that all
right on to another reel that I saw and I
want your thoughts on I sent this to you on
Instagram I don't know if you saw it or not
but it was about the underarms except for she kept
using the word armpits and you know how I feel
about that word I do not like it she did
an experiment because she saw another content creator online say
that anytime she lifted up her arms in a video
(03:09):
and showed her underarms she got more engagement So this
person decided to make two videos. Everything is identical, what
she's wearing, what she's saying, all the same, except for
in one of the videos, she lifted up her arms
and moved her hair back. So it revealed her underarms,
except for she said armpits. And she got more views
(03:34):
on the underarm video. And so I'm like, what's up
with this? Is there something going on with underarms?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Can you show everybody your underarms so we can get
some more views?
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I don't like to do this. Come on. I don't,
I don't like, I don't like underarms.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Do it for us though.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Why is this such a struggle? You're wearing sleeveless. You
show yours.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I don't really want to. Wait a second. Is this showing?
Your hair kind of is covering it.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Well, okay.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
So since you didn't share your feeling of the day,
I'm going to go, I'm going to, assigned one to you.
Are you shocked or are you like disgusted? Are you disturbed?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I'm curious. I guess I'm not, it's, it's the underarm thing.
Isn't totally disturbing to me. I just, you know, I
have a cringe type feeling when it comes to this and,
and the fact that over and over when she's explaining
the video, she just says armpits over.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
And over and over.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
And I'm like, why is that word so difficult for me?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I want to know which video got more, the one
of her explaining her experiment or the one of her armpits.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I think the underarm one. Why did you just call
it that?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Did I call it, did I say armpits?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I'm sorry. Well, I don't have a problem with that word.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
You don't.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I will be more conscientious for you. Thank you. It
kind of rolls off my tongue. I don't have to
think about it. I would like to know the psychology
behind it, though.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It's not like you're showing, I guess it's showing more skin,
but it's not like salacious skin.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
If anything, I would be like, she's doing weird things
with her arms. Maybe that's it.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
No, all she did was, like, pull her hair back,
and it just revealed her underarms. So I don't know
if there's something about that.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Is she fidgeting? Is she practicing self-touch?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
No, but she's, I think, maybe the same person that
said not to touch. Oh. She's that communications expert. No, no, no, no.
She's that communications expert. You see her everywhere. Did she
not pop up in your feed? She's got long brown hair. Yeah.
I'm trying to find her link now. What's her name?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
She got really big after she was on Diary of
a CEO, I feel like.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Yes, and she has a really popular TED Talk.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh, what's it about? Talking?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Speaking? Communicating. I just remember she said in the first
few seconds of meeting someone, they should see both your
hands are free. No threat. Nothing to see here because
it's inviting to know that you're not hiding.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
A weapon.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I don't know if this goes back... Like if you
just think of how we've evolved, like if you see
both hands are free, you feel safe. Sure. There's no threat.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
So like present yourself. Hi. I am here. No threat.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I think I'd have more of a concern if you
did that when I met you than if your hand
was in your pocket.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
And I think in the TED Talk too, she talked
about if you say, I have four things to say.
Like if you give people the visual of what you're
about to say. Like it really helps that connection. It's
been a minute since I watched the TED Talk and
maybe it wasn't even her to be honest, but I'm 99%
sure it was her because I feel like she's cornered
(06:43):
the market on communication.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Here's a question that doesn't come up, but it's coming
up right now. Are TED Talks still a thing? Because
I feel like 10, 12 years ago, I would sit
and watch like a viral TED Talk because that's when like, well,
I guess maybe I've just changed. But I feel like
now what's the difference? There's TED Talks and there's like
TED in every city and you can pay to have
(07:08):
a TED Talk. Did you know that? You can pay.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
TEDx or TED Talk? TEDx. Okay, TEDx is different than TED.
TEDx is the local community. I feel like massive TED Talks,
I have no idea if there's still a thing, but
I feel like that's totally different.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
And she had a massive one. She had TED Talk,
not TEDx.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Yeah, sure, sure. She was TED Talk, which I just
found her video and her name is Vanessa Van Edwards.
And she has 1.2 million followers. What a name. Vanessa
Van Edwards.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
She sounds like a royal.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
She's a Harvard instructor and behavioral researcher helping you master communication.
I could probably take some notes from her for sure.
But she did this whole... Look at this video. She's
holding up her arm and it's called her armpit hypothesis.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It is a little off-putting.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I know. I'm not into it at all, but....
Speaker 2 (07:59):
But that's the thing though, that I think anything off-putting
get gets attention. So should we just start doing weird
things while we.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
No, I'm good. I'm totally happy with the way that
we operate. We are good to go, which we sort
of touched on feeling of the day. Cause you said
I didn't say mine. Cause mine really, mine was curious. Uh,
But I did sneak a peek in our doc and
you wrote that you were feeling a little sad about
something that I'm actually excited about. So I'm perplexed.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
So that's my feeling of the day is I'm just
full of curiosity about the underarms and why you're feeling
sad about something that I'm excited about.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So did I tell you to read Verity?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
You did. Okay. And I didn't read it. I listened
to it. Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Same.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah. But same.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Listening is reading.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah, it's the same. I was just being transparent about
I never actually had the physical copy of that book.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
So you had sent me a DM. I don't even
know if you remember this. Probably because you saw this
and you were excited. That Verity is supposed to be
like the box office blow up of the year. Like
even more than all the other movies that have come
out recently.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Which the Odyssey is like breaking records. Is there another
recent movie? Spider-Man. Like all that stuff. So I was
watching that. I was like, oh, this is so exciting
because I've been waiting for this to come out since
I listened to the book years ago because I knew
years ago they were making it into a movie.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Well, I had no idea and you just told me
to listen to it a couple of months ago and
I had no idea they were making a movie. And
it's with Anne Hathaway and Dakota Johnson.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
So I watched that video that you sent me. I
was sitting with Patrick and I listened to the book together. And?
I was like, oh my gosh, it's about to come out, blah, blah, blah.
I'm so excited because I love going to the movie theater.
But it's coming out October 2nd. I'm not going to
be able to go to the movie theater.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Oh, that's why you're sad is because baby Zoe will
be here and you can't go to the movie theater?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
This this i feel like i that's gonna be like
two weeks after she's born probably yeah you're probably not
gonna want to go to like a germy theater yeah
and that's it's depressing to me because i've been waiting
for this for so long and they didn't even consider.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Zoe's due date how rude Well, I'm sure you can
see it shortly thereafter. You're going to want a break
and maybe.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
But at my house, it's different. There's just not a
lot of movie... I love going to movie theaters and
there's not a lot of movies that I want to
see in the theater.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
And that's one of them. And that's one of them.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But to put a happy note on my feelings too,
that is making me sad. But I would say I'm
feeling not energized, but... um pumped up doesn't fit um.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
What is it what is it and.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
We can i feel good because of something you said
okay so i feel what's the word it's on the
tip of my tongue.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Well if you can tell me what it is that
i said so when i walked in you were like
oh you look so cute and like i haven't been
feeling very cute lately and i don't have a lot
of clothes that fit and then i did that thing
that girls do when i'm like oh thanks my dress
is from tiktok it was thirteen dollars And I was
thinking I would have got, when I ordered this dress,
I was like, it was $ 13.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
If it's trash, who cares? But I love it. And
you made me, you confirmed my feelings.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah. I think feeling pumped up is good.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
What is, I feel.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Validated in your.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
$ 13 well spent. I feel happy.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
We make it simple.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
You're feeling complimented.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
You're feeling. That's a fact.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I was complimented.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
But you're feeling affirmed. In your decision, you're feeling pretty,
feeling cute.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I wouldn't go that far.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
It is cute.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
It's so cute. You walked in and I was like, oh,
cute dress. And the fact that you got it for
$ 13 on TikTok shop.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
And listen.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Was a pregnant person promoting it or just a normal person?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I don't remember. I think it was a pregnant person,
but it's not.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
By normal, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
It's not a non-pregnant. It's not maternity. I just got,
I just sized up in it. But a pregnant person
was promoting it and no. I used to be afraid
to order things from TikTok shop because I didn't understand
what it was.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
And you thought, I'm just sending money off to this
random place and is the product even going to arrive? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I get that. But it's like Amazon. Like, you can
find some of the same stuff. And you can return things.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
See that?
Speaker 3 (12:28):
I wouldn't think you would be able to return. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I've returned something from TikTok. I've returned something from TikTok.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Is it coming from an actual supplier or from some
girl's closet?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I don't understand how it works. Because I bought it
from a girl that was promoting it, but I think
she just has like affiliate links kind of thing. It
would be like us posting an Amazon link that we
get commission for.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Okay, so it's like that. It's not like they buy
a bunch of dresses and then they have to sell them.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I don't think so. Okay. Because I also... Oh, oh, oh, oh.
This is something that I feel like both of us need.
Have you heard of those folio things? They're like folders.
I've been targeted with these on TikTok. But the reason
I don't think people order them is because I keep
getting different people promoting them. They're like folders that you
(13:28):
can put like every kind of document in, like your passport,
birth certificate, social security cards, anything. But it's something that
I feel like we as people with ADHD need because I–
everything's always in a different place.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
So it's called a folio?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
It's called a folio. I'm sure people have heard of
these before. Is it fireproof? It's something that people say,
I need this in case of a fire. Because then
you just go run and grab this thing instead of,
I have to go to five different places to get
all of our documents.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Right. Okay.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
So I'm thinking about getting one of those.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
But if you did that thing where you made yourself
that digital, that email, you'd have everything digital. You wouldn't
need a... Folio. You can scan everything in.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
But don't you want your, like, original birth certificate?
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Oh, I think you have to have that.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
The original, the one from the hospital.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
If I have that still, I don't know. Maybe I do.
Or I have a copy of it. But you're right.
I think having a folio would be helpful. But keeping
it in a fireproof box would be even next level.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
More helpful.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Because then you don't even have to go grab that.
It's just safe.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
That's why.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I currently keep important things in the freezer and I
have no idea if that's doing anything for me, but
I just feel like the last thing to burn in
my house would maybe be the freezer, but I can
be wrong on that.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
So you don't keep things in your freezer because that's
like where people will, you know, back in the day
people would keep money in the freezer because that's like
where you would hide it.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
That's not why you're keeping stuff in there.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
No, it's just also so I know. And like right
now I think some of it got moved out, but.
I probably need to go put it back because it
just helps me in a Ziploc bag and a freezer,
like my social security card, my passport, just like in
a Ziploc in the freezer. And then I have a
little gold nugget that I keep in the freezer.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
In case times get hard.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I probably shouldn't announce that because people know they can go.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yeah, now people are going to come into your house
and get your gold nugget.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
I'm going to be moving that, which I need to
move to a bank, like a vault anyways, I think.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
It's money. Do people still put stuff in bank vaults?
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Where is the bank vault, though?
Speaker 3 (15:40):
You go rent one.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
At your local branch.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Like a PO box type of thing.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Like a little drawer. Like it might be big enough
for papers. It might be big enough for other items.
I mean, I'm sure you pay for what you get.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
People keep cash in there, you think?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Or Bobby has memorabilia collectibles. like certain baseball cards.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Wait, that's so, that's really smart for people who are
more likely to get robbed.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Right. It's just a safe place to keep everything. Yeah. Smart.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Is that like you have to pay for it though?
It's like rent, you have to pay rent. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
It's like a, like you were saying, like a PO box,
like it's your box. You only have the key.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I don't think you just can have one for free. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
I guess that makes sense. I don't know why I
would think it'd be free. Huh?
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Well, Cool.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I didn't know that was a thing. I thought that
was like something from the olden days.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
We got some DMs I want to shout out. We've
not really done this much, but maybe we'll start dabbling
in sharing random DMs. This one says, please let Kat
and Amy know how thankful I am they are putting
in the effort to prep episodes before Kat's birth. I
know it must be incredibly difficult to add on to
(16:57):
their already large workloads and the effort does not go unrecognized.
Watching or listening to the podcast Tuesdays and Thursdays is
always a highlight.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Of my week.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
That might be one of the most special DMs because, yes,
with baby Zoe coming, we have been prepping a lot.
And it's not like we're really talking about it. Yeah.
But this listener is recognizing it. So we feel pumped up.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah. How did we say that we were doing that?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
We must have.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
I mean, she's probably just catching on to the fact,
maybe we said we're going to have all new episodes
while you're gone, which we are.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Which I think is not the norm, right?
Speaker 3 (17:37):
No, I was going to just, maybe this is what
we discussed is you were, I was assuming you would
take maternity leave and I would have guests come on
or we would figure out episodes or I would do
them by myself or Chase would fill in or something.
And then you were like, no, I want to do them.
And I'm like, okay, sweet. So we just got to
work ahead. So that way we're all square and good
(18:00):
to go.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah. I was thinking that's not fair for me not to,
which is not for me not to work and for
that to all be on your shoulders. But then it
is kind of like, it's work either way because you
would have to work by doing the episodes by yourself
or we have to work extra now.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
I mean, I would rather do them with you. And
also this is part of, life, you are having a
baby and I support maternity leave. I did see some
clip online where, I don't know if it was at
a political rally or something, but some guy in a
cowboy hat, he's running for office in Florida, I think.
(18:39):
I don't know what office. in particular, but he was
being asked about maternity leave. And he was like, no,
I don't really support it. I think women should get
like maybe one or two days.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I think I saw this.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Did you see that? It was very viral. And I
even went to his page because I was so disturbed
by him saying it. And then I exhaled and moved
on with my life because he had very little traction
and I don't know what he's running for. And I
hope he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
It was a weird take.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
But it was, so bizarre i thought is this man
married does he have children because if i'm this guy's
wife or daughter i'm like dad shut up husband shut up.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Well i'm more thinking that was i did see this
it was i.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Mean obviously was birthed by a woman there's.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
A woman in his life somewhere but i thought it
was a weird take because i'm like wait a second
if i guess maybe his wife doesn't work if he's
married because i'm like if your wife works don't you
want that for your family Like, what do you mean?
Like how? But I didn't consider that maybe his wife
doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
I am guessing the five seconds I spent on his page,
he might be single. But. I could be wrong.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, that was a weird.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Let me tell you, there are a lot of politicians
out there where I'm like, what, what, how, what is
it like at home with your wife? Because if I
was your wife, I'd be like, you are a moron.
You're a moron. And I can't handle you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Some of them have the same beliefs. They probably marry
people with the same beliefs.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
You know?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I mean, I'm sure there's some of that.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I don't even know that some of those people believe
what they say.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Oh, you think they're saying it for... I think they maybe.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Come home and they're like, you're a moron. They're like,
I know. I can't believe I had to say that today.
But yeah, got to get the votes. You know, I
don't know. I'm like, there's no way these people can
actually really believe some of the things that they're saying.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
But I could not stand by somebody... Like if Patrick
said that on a video and it went viral... I
would be mortified and would be like, we are not
aligned in life. If that's what you're going to say
to people.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Okay. But let's say that's the one thing he does.
Cause in previous episodes, multiple times you've said I'm obsessed
with my husband. Yeah. It would that do it?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Like you would be like, he was promoting that women
shouldn't have rights.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah. Like they only get one, one or two days
in paternity leave.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Maternity.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Yeah. Maternity.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I would, yes, that would do.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
What? I mean, that's, but I love him. I love him.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
I know.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
But if he said that, that would change who he is.
If he thinks that about women and their value to
both their own, their selves, their health, their workplace and
their families. I think we wouldn't have been a match
if that's what he, I wouldn't love him if that's
(21:29):
what he thought. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Well, now that you've cleared that up.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Would you date somebody who said that?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
On the first date and you're like, so what do
you think about maternity leave?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
No.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
It's like one or two days.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
I would, no.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Would you end the date?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
I guess as quickly as I possibly could. I don't
want to be, or I tried to find out more
ridiculous things he would say so I could talk about
it later.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Maybe that's a question that you ask on first dates.
You slide it in somehow. You can do it.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You remember that tip? Remember that tip I gave? Remember
that tip? Remember that tip I gave you about how
to start first dates that came from the dating girl?
Her name is blanking, but she has the Later Dater Show.
That was like when you get to a first date,
you should just be like, oh, on the way over here,
I was listening to this podcast, this crazy thing came up,
(22:19):
to start it to not feel like awkward and small talky.
You could do that. You could get to your date
and be like, oh, my gosh, I just saw this
crazy TikTok. And this guy said that women should only
have one or two days of maternity leave. Isn't that nuts?
And see how they respond.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
So then if they say, I agree, you could be like, oh,
my gosh, I have to throw up. I got to go.
I got to go.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
This is not going to work. Okay. We got another
DM to shout out. Now, this is referring back to
an episode where– What were we talking about?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
You were talking about pranking your sister.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Pranking my sister. Okay. When I would call my sister's
boyfriends when we were little, I was four years younger
than my sister. So put my sister in eighth grade,
me in fourth grade. I call her boyfriends. I pretend
I'm her. And I say, I love you. And they're like, oh, okay.
You know, but I say it as my sister. Yeah.
(23:15):
I pretend to be her. So this DM is. A
listener confessing what they used to do to their sister.
I used to tell my sister things to make her
cry when she was about three because she was so
cute when she cried and she let me hug her
to comfort her. I would tell her bad things like,
(23:36):
one day mom and dad will no longer be alive
and it will be just you and me.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I think this is worse than what you did. For sure.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
But I could see as a kid, like if you're,
sisters or your little sisters like so cute when she
cries and and then she lets you comfort her.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
You're like i'm gonna make you cry but in like
a not my fault way.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
So i guess this dm popped up because they put
this under the real like they saw that real post
of ours and then they sent this message yeah like
oh i used to do this to my sister yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I i wonder if there's any other way that maybe
we could get you some comfort.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Well hopefully she doesn't do that now That they're adults.
I think it's just confessing to things you used to
do when you were little.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I want to know what her sister thinks of that now. Like,
I want to know what else you said to her.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
I know. She probably traumatized her little sister. I do
have a whimsy tip from Anna Voss, like the queen
of whimsy. And I loved this assignment so much. You
make a ticket and invite yourself to a great day.
Now showing. your amazing, wonderful day ahead, like a movie ticket.
(24:48):
Create a ticket, and it could look like a movie ticket,
like a Willy Wonka ticket.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
A golden ticket.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Or she said you could even send yourself an e-vite
if you wanted to go that far. Send it to
yourself in an email, and it's like you're scheduling joy,
like you're scheduling this great day, like you've been invited.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I want to schedule out the day, though, if I
do that. I'm like, you're going to have a great day,
and these are the things you're going to do.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
You could do that.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Like, you could put that all on your e-vite. Yeah.
Be like, at 5 o'clock, this is happening, 7 o'clock,
which I feel like once baby Zoe comes, you're going
to have to sort of be intentional about carving out
some time for yourself somehow. That's why I'm thinking, like,
a few weeks in, if you want to go see Verity,
I'll go see it with you, and Patrick can be
with Zoe, and you'll be fine. You just might need
(25:38):
to take the pump. That's the breast pump?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I know. I just can't imagine in two weeks leaving her.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
For two hours? The movie's two hours.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
I know, but.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I don't know what I'm going to feel like. I
will reserve space to do that, but I also am
really interested in seeing how I'm going to be. Because
I don't know how anxious I'm going to be. I
don't know how strict I'm going to be. I don't
know how obsessed with her I'm going to be. So, okay,
(26:20):
maybe we'll go together, but also.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
How about I give you a redeemable ticket at any time?
It doesn't have a date on it, but if you
need a break of some sorts, you can have your
ticket to look forward to and be like, I want
to cash in the ticket and I'll come pick you up.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
And I thought you were going to say that you
were going to give me a ticket that Anytime I wanted,
you would get them to play the movie in the
theaters for me.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Well, I don't know how to do that. There are
movies popping up on Twitter, though, like on X. I
think Odyssey and Spider-Man both ended up on. What? X.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
You can watch them on.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Well, I mean, someone's putting it up there illegally, but yeah,
it's up there. So maybe someone would do that for Verity.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
How do they not get caught?
Speaker 3 (27:07):
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
That is crazy.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
The Odyssey one looked like actual footage. The Spider-Man one,
I think, was someone filmed it inside the theater and
then uploaded it. But what are.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
You getting out of that? It's not like how back
in the day.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
You're getting to watch it at home with your baby?
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Well, no, no, no, no. I mean, the person that's
doing it. Like, you know, back in the day, people
would film them and then they would turn them into
DVDs and sell them on the street, like the black
market movies. But on Twitter, you're not... If you just
post it on Twitter, you're not getting paid for that,
I assume.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I have no idea. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
You could get in big, big trouble if they trace
it back to you.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I don't go to Twitter much anymore. Did you ever?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I had a Twitter back when it was like, going
to lunch with Emily. That's what we would tweet. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
So... I loved that it had a character limit because
it really forced me to condense what I was going
to say.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Does it not anymore?
Speaker 3 (28:06):
And I just get straight to the point. Well, I'm
sure it does. I don't know anymore. I don't go
over there. I don't know if that part has changed,
but I assume they kept that part similar. I don't
know because I don't tweet or X. What do they
call it?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Yeah, what do they call it?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Well, it's called X, but are you X-ing? Are you tweeting?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
I don't like X-ing. I think you're still tweeting on X. Mm-hmm.
Do you think they'll ever change it back to Twitter?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
No, because Elon bought it and took it over and
changed it.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Maybe it's just a prank. Just kidding.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
He's like, just kidding. It's Twitter now.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yeah. I probably need to block my Twitter. How do
you make it? I assume it's private. I wouldn't want
people to go back and read those. Not because, like
I said, bad things, but because it's probably embarrassing, similar
to people's Facebook statuses.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I pulled up some old tweets that I have. I
pulled this a couple of weeks ago for Show Prep
on the Bobby Bone Show, and it never got used,
so I just searched my email and found it in
my Show Prep. I can read you a tweet that
I put up from July 18, 2018. This is the
kind of stuff I used to tweet.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Not that long ago either.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
2018?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
2018?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
It's not like 2010. This is eight years ago.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Okay, okay, okay. Twitter wasn't even... When did Twitter... I
guess it was around in 2010, yeah. I mean, but barely.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Okay, this was so long ago.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
To me, it feels like a long time ago. My
dad's girlfriend pulled up Twitter on her phone. I was like, oh, wow, she...
she has Twitter, which also means she might see this.
But today she said to me, how crazy is it
that my boyfriend is your dad? And in my head,
I was like, not as crazy as you being my
sister's husband's grandma. Wait, what?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
My sister's husband's sober related. So your sister is kind
of related. No.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
My sister's husband's grandma was dating our dad.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
So they weren't related. They never got married. They were
just boyfriend and girlfriend. But that's the kind of stuff
I would tweet.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Those are kind of interesting. Those are funny. That's funny.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
Well.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
That's not embarrassing. That's not like a song lyric about, like,
somebody breaking your heart or something, you know?
Speaker 3 (30:23):
That was my condensed way of saying this is weird.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I wish that I could go back and look at, like,
my AIM away messages.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Oh, there's no access to that?
Speaker 2 (30:34):
I don't think we have access to AIM anything. Because
I remember I would, like, lie on them. Like, I would.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
What would you say?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Well, I would, like, want people to know that I was, like,
doing things I thought were cool. So I remember one
time I was like, oh my gosh, it's so nice out.
I'm going for, uh, I'm going to go run a mile.
This was probably in like seventh grade, but I didn't
go run. I think I just like went and ate
a snack or something, but I wanted my, my crush
(31:02):
to see that I was like athletic.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Oh, you're so athletic.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Cause I was running one mile. I was probably like,
I probably was eating a snack and then being like, okay,
has it been 10 minutes? I can get back on it.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
You're like, oh, that was hard.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
So if you have a free account on X, you
are capped at 280 characters per post. If you have
a premium subscription, you're allowed 25,000 characters.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
What would you need that many characters for?
Speaker 3 (31:36):
And apparently full movies. And then for direct messages, you're
capped at 10,000 characters for all users. So you can
send someone a lengthy DM. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
What would you need? Twenty five thousand characters.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
I mean, if you're writing, if you're writing a dissertation. Yeah.
Almost like I would say like an article and you post.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
It on X versus a link. Got it. I got it.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
So there you go. Fun fact, in case you're thinking
of dabbling back over there on Twitter, Twitter.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Sorry, I can't. I can't. I can't call it X either.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
I think that that was that's one of the most.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Failed transitions ever. I'm trying to think of what else
was failed, but recently, this isn't like riveting news, but
you know how Spotify changed their logo and literally a
week later they had to rechange it because people hated it.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Same thing with Cracker Barrel.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
People just really have a difficult time with change. Yeah.
But in a way, the Cracker Barrel thing, I'm like,
this kind of worked out for them because it got
them so much more publicity than they would have gotten.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
One of my best friends works for Cracker Barrel. I
don't think it was good on the inside.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
I think I did just see recently the CEO step down.
Was it over that controversy? No. Or that was one
of the things?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I might be residual from some of that.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
But I will say my friend that works for Cracker
Barrel really, really, really, really liked that CEO. So she
was sad.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Oh, man.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
So, yeah. I think it got them attention. But it
caused a lot of chaos on the inside that maybe
didn't work out anyway. Fun facts.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Well, I feel like you have a fun couples thing
for us. Like if there's stuff we want to do
to stay in love, be in love.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Long live our love forever.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Well, I thought this. So this I found from on
it was on Instagram from an account called Neuroscience Talk.
And this person took some of we've talked about John Gottman.
We've done his four horsemen before. He's like the father
of couples therapy. And he's done a lot of research
on couples and what keeps them together and what breaks
(33:49):
them apart. And one of the crazy things about him
that I am still like this blows my mind is
he can predict with it 90 percent, I think, accuracy
rate if a couple is going to stay together or
leave within a very small period of time. I don't
remember what it was, but like something like 10 minutes
he can tell you are they going to stay together
(34:10):
or not from his research that he's done. So this
account took some of his research and wrote a little
article about seven things couples who stay in love do
every single morning. So if you want to stay in love,
I think about this a lot. I'm, like you said,
obsessed with my husband, but I've only been married for
(34:31):
two and a half years.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
So it's early.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
So it's easy now, I feel like. And we have
no kids. Stress is not. So I want as a
human to think about how do I maintain this when
the newness of it and the easiness and the ease
of it isn't there. So I want to go through
the seven. And if you guys want, jot them down.
(34:57):
There are things that, I will say this, there are
things that sound really simple if you have no Life stressors.
But if there is anything going on in life, they
are more difficult than they sound. So if you're thinking like,
I don't do this, give yourself a little bit of
some grace.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
And did they do all seven of these things every morning? Yeah.
All seven? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
So this person said you don't need more time. You
need better mornings. Okay. 20 minutes of intentional connection before
the day begins does more for you, does more for
your bond than a weekend away once a year. So
they're saying it's not that like you don't need that
much time together. You just need something simple. And I
think the ideas do all seven. But if you do
(35:43):
five of the seven or four of the seven, then
I think that's a lot better than nothing.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
So the first one is they connect before they check
their phones. Reaching for a screen before your partner primes
your brain for distraction and stress. Reaching for your partner
first activates the social bonding system instead. So that's really simple.
But I think also it's really easy for us, our
alarm to go off, to pick up our phone and
(36:09):
just immediately get into something versus your alarm goes off,
you turn it off and then like you turn around
and give your husband or your partner a hug.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Well, even as a single person, I know it's not
good to, I have to avoid getting on my phone. Yeah.
Because if we have single people listening right now, like
just in a way to treat yourself better. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Like.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
In nurturing your relationship with self, like don't get on
your phone right away. And a lot of us, our
phone is our alarm. So it's so hard, but it's
like turn that alarm off and then put the phone away.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
And then you can go to it later. Number two,
they share physical touch to trigger morning oxytocin. A hug,
a hand on the back, or a gentle touch triggers
oxytocin release immediately. Morning oxytocin creates a stress buffering effect
That lasts throughout the day. Couples who touch in the
morning show lower cortisol responses to stress later. Which is
(37:06):
so simple. That's so little.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
That is little. I will say sometimes my cat will
like sleep, come snuggle up next to me. It's not
every time, but when I wake up in the morning
and she's right next to me and her face is
towards the door, which I have read that's a sign
of your cat wanting to look out over you to
(37:27):
protect you. Because their eye is on the door. Like
she won't ever just face the other side of the room.
It's always facing towards the door. So I see that
as her watching out for me. But I do get
a release of something. Maybe it's oxytocin. I don't know.
I do get some sort of a cared for hit
(37:48):
of like, oh, my cat is here. She's with me.
She's taking care of me. I'm not alone. I'm going
to go in and interject every single thing for a
single person.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Well, I was going to say I kind of like
that you're doing that because we're talking about connection here,
and we're not just talking about how to stay in love. Yes,
this is about how people stay in love, but also
this is talking about how these things create less stress
throughout your day. So it's not just these things create
(38:19):
better relationships. It's like your whole day gets started off better.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Oh, so this is helping my stress by avoiding my phone.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
And being with your cat.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
And then if my dog or my cat is near me,
like that could help.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Well, this one might be hard for you though. Oh, shoot. Okay.
They use the six second kiss.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Okay. This one's going to be a little more difficult.
I'm not making out with my animals. But I mean,
I guess I could.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
You could do like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Like here, let me kiss your forehead.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Yes. Yeah, I guess I could do that.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Safe touch.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Safe touch.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Gottman found that six seconds is the minimum duration for
a kiss to trigger meaningful oxytocin release. Six seconds is
all it takes to change the chemistry of your entire day.
Six seconds. So I think it needs to be six seconds.
It can be more, but it needs to at least
be six. But six is kind of long.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Is this like right when you wake up?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
In the morning before you get out of bed.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Do you brush your teeth?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
No.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Have you ever kissed someone before you brush? You've been
married before, Amy.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Okay, but it's been a long, long time. And no,
I don't have that. same experience waking up because I
would wake up in my marriage. My husband was gone
half the time. Also, when he was home, I would
wake up at four in the morning and.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Go brush your teeth.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Oh. No, and leave for work.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Oh, so you would brush your teeth and get back
in bed?
Speaker 3 (39:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
I did have a boyfriend once that I, and this
I think speaks to how comfortable I was with this person.
Like in the morning before he would touch me or anything,
I would be like, I have to go brush my
teeth and then come back. So I don't do that anymore.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
So now it's just like.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
I mean, it is what it is. Like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Number four, they express genuine appreciation before the day begins.
Appreciation triggers dopamine in the receiver and oxytocin in both
partners simultaneously. It does not need to be elaborate. Specific
and sincere activates the reward response. So this doesn't have
to be like a shower you with compliments. This can
just be something like easy and sweet. Like it can
(40:32):
just be like I love you or I love waking
up next to you or something like that. You could
say that to your cat.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
I love waking up next to you. I do love
when she– Is cuddled up right next to me. Again,
I don't know what days cause her to do that
or not. Like, why wouldn't it be consistent? I don't
know why she doesn't just do it every day.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Does your dog sleep in there?
Speaker 3 (40:53):
She's the foot of my bed.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
But Maggie comes up, like, right by me. Kara can't fit.
She's too big. Plus, I don't want her grubby paws
up there.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
But you want, you don't, okay. You don't mind the cat?
Speaker 3 (41:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Even though the cat. She's a little petite. paws. Yeah,
but she walks in a litter box.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
She licks them. She licks her paws. She licks her
paws all the time.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Does that make it better?
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Yes. This is my hot take on cats. Your cat is,
and I will say this, I really mean this. I'm
not a cat person. Your cat is so cute. So
cute and soft and cuddly. Well, I don't know if
she's cuddly. I've never cuddled her. But my thing about
cats is they walk in the litter box and then
(41:42):
they walk on your kitchen counter. And you cannot, like,
they get everywhere. To me, that's more dirty than a
dog walking outside.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
Well, I have these little animal wipes and I do
them on my dog mostly when we go out. Like
if it's been, if she steps in anything wet, I
should be better at doing it every single time I
take her out. But I need to start cleaning Maggie's
paws with that. It says cat's paws are generally clean
due to their grooming habits, but you should regularly clean
(42:13):
their paws and maintain hygiene in your home with the
help of wipes.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Okay. That's what it says. I would say probably most
people don't do that, but.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Well, I need to do that more.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
It is interesting knowing you and as somebody who wants
to be like a no-shoe household.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Yeah, but do you see grooming habits? It's they're generally
clean due to their grooming habits. So she's constantly like. Licking.
So her mouth is cleaning her paws.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
I think that is confusing to me.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
What?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Like that her mouth could clean. Because our mouths are
so dirty. Like if we were licking everything, it would
be dirty. But if a cat licks it, it's clean?
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Yes. That is what I choose to believe, except for
I just Googled it. It says... No, a cat's mouth
does not clean their paws. Instead, cats lick their paws
to groom themselves and remove dirt or debris. The saliva
on their paws helps them clean their fur and also
can provide comfort.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Ay-yi-yi. If you need to believe that it cleans and
that works for you, I'm okay with that. Well, what?
Speaker 3 (43:16):
How? Why did I hear, like, that their mouth was
cleaning their paws? Like, I thought that their saliva, like,
had a cleaning agent in it that was cleaning the paws.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I don't know where you heard that. I've never heard that.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
It's probably what I have to tell myself mentally so
that my cat will cuddle up next to me at
night and I won't be bothered by it.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Hey, you're okay and you're healthy. So it's not like
hurting you.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Well, I bathe my cat also from time to time.
Like she'll get groomed or I've posted videos for me
bathing her in the sink and people lose their minds
over that. Like they're like, Cats are self-grooming. They clean themselves. Like,
you shouldn't have to clean a cat. And I'm like, no. No,
I am pro-grooming cats, but so many people are anti that.
(44:06):
So anyway. All right, moving on for all the non-cat people.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
We learned some cat facts.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
Okay, so we need to kiss for six seconds.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
And then appreciation was the next one.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Oh, which for a single person, I guess if you
had your gratitude journal, you could gratitude things you're grateful for.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Yeah, I think that's great.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
Appreciation, yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
And then number five, they respond warmly to each other's
morning bid for connection. And number five, they respond warmly
to each other's morning bid for connection. So a bid
(44:48):
for connection is like any like small reach for attention.
So whether that's like Me putting my hand on you
and then you cuddle up or me cuddling up to
you and you scooting back or me saying good morning
and you just saying good morning back. It can be anything.
Turning towards rather than ignoring somebody builds trust and security
over time. So do you want to spin that one
(45:11):
for the single folk? Respond warmly. So how would you
respond to a bid towards self-connection?
Speaker 3 (45:20):
I don't know that this one's really... possible. We can try, but.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
We'll have to, we'll have to think about it.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
Yeah. Yeah. It's okay. We don't have to hit every single.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Yeah. You don't have to, as long as you do majority,
you're fine. Number six, they blunt the cortisol awakening response together.
So cortisol awakening response is called car. That is like
the normal sharp increase in cortisol that happens the first
like 30 to 45 minutes after you wake up. Um,
Everybody experiences that. And so they do that together. So warm,
(45:55):
warm social connection during this window reduces its intensity. So
basically it's saying they wake up together, which that one
I think is really hard because.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
If everyone's on a different schedule.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Yeah, like with work and like sometimes Patrick leaves the
house at 6am and I'm not even awake yet. And
so I'm not, I'll wake up when he wakes up
cause it just, happens when he gets out of bed,
but I'm not like starting my day at 5 a.m.
with him. So this one is ideal, but also difficult,
especially when you put kids and stuff in the mix.
(46:29):
And then the last one, they set a warm neurochemical
tone for the entire day. Every morning habit listed above
compounds on the others. Together they create a neurochemical environment
of safety connection and reward so i think that.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
One so seven really isn't an extra one it's just
that it's compounding yes i will say like yeah six
and seven are a little bit just of if you're
doing one through five then six and seven naturally happen.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
Maybe you could do six on the weekends regularly yeah
if you could wake up together yeah like on saturday
or sunday yeah um so yeah you don't have to
think of one for seven because uh that's not really
a I think they just wanted it to be seven,
it sounds like.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
It sounded like a better number. Seven things couples who
stay in love do every single morning. And that's from
neuroscience talk based on Gottman's research.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
We have some cat saliva facts that Shannon gave us.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
It contains a mild antibacterial enzyme called Some like lysozyme.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Lysozyme?
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Lysozyme. But it's not antiseptic or sterile. So what does
that even mean? That like it's a little bit?
Speaker 3 (47:50):
It's a mild antibacterial. Okay.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
It's a little bit clean.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
Or anti... Well, I'm going to get wipes and I'm
going to keep them on my bed. And then I'm
going to rub. Because she'll disappear in the night and
I know where she's going. Probably to her litter box. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
And then she comes back.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
And then she's coming back. And then she's curling up
next to me. And then I'll hold her. And I
love rubbing her paws. Like I love rubbing her little feet.
They're so cute.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
They probably are.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
But I keep her litter box pretty clean. I will say.
And I use pretty litter.
Speaker 4 (48:24):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
It's pretty. It's the clear. And it absorbs. Okay.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
So it doesn't bother you. That's okay. It would bother me.
Speaker 3 (48:37):
When you're at my house and you see Maggie like
all over the kitchen counter, does that freak you out?
Speaker 2 (48:43):
No.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Because I let her just do whatever.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Well, you can't. Cats just do whatever.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Some people don't let their cats on the counter.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
How?
Speaker 3 (48:51):
They just go where they want. They train them. Oh.
I don't know what you do, but you put foil
on your counter or something and it freaks them out.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
Well, you also wash your counters.
Speaker 3 (48:59):
A lot. A lot.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
I think if she was at my house and she
was getting on my counter, it would bother me. But
I think at other people's houses, I'm like, I'm just
here for a second and I'm going to go.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
You don't have to live with it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
If I was living with you, I would be like, oh,
we've got to do something about this cat.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
Yeah. We have our Hasbro. moment of the week, which
is exciting. Our featured games this week are Jenga, Scrabble,
and Trivial Pursuit. All classics. Like, I love all three
of those. Would you use Jenga at work? Yeah. With
your clients?
Speaker 2 (49:36):
More than probably any other game.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
So.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
You could do this with your family too, but I
would take Jenga and write questions on the blocks. And
I could, I did this two different ways. Mostly one
I had with just a new client or a younger
client or a client that has trouble getting like acclimated
or opening up. I would have like some general questions,
(49:59):
get to know you, nothing too deep or crazy. And
so when you play Jenga, each one you pulled, you
had to answer. So even I would answer, they would
be questions that I could also answer. And then I
had one specific for like eating disorders that I would
use with eating disorder clients that some of it was
like facts. Some of it was questions about body image
and stuff like that. But we would play that a
(50:21):
lot of times. And what I liked about that is
it was fun. And so it's kind of disarming, but
also it serves a purpose. And as I'm saying that,
I'm like, you could do that. You could do Jenga
with your friends and write like all kinds of crazy
questions on there or Jenga with your family and write
like cute little.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
Okay so on like here's jenga so on the block
one anywhere on the.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Block where you wouldn't be able to see it once
it's in like on the top or bottom.
Speaker 3 (50:49):
And so and then you insert it and so you
don't see any of the writing and you don't know
what you're pulling and you pull out and it's a
fun question yeah or get to know you question or
a helpful question therapeutically or like you said with your
friends like a way to connect i love that Is
there a nickname for this Jenga modification?
Speaker 2 (51:05):
Therapy Jenga?
Speaker 3 (51:08):
Connection Jenga.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Connection Jenga. That's it. Honestly, I should have like patented this.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Jenga, call me. Hasbro, call me.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
Hasbro, call Kat. Which we do, like I said, have
our Hasbro moment. And this is the email we received.
And then we've got a fun little giveaway. Okay. Hey,
Amy and Kat, longtime listener here. Amy, I've followed you
since your early Bobby Bone Show days, and I've listened
for years. You've inspired me to choose gratitude and find
joy in the little things. I loved hearing about what
(51:38):
y'all are doing with Hasbro. Since our family does game
night every week after dinner, that's legit, it's become one
of our favorite traditions. Phones away, gathered around the table,
just present with each other. When you asked for educator nominations,
I immediately thought of our school librarian, Mrs. Connor. My
(51:58):
kids love books and she might be the most magical
woman you'll ever find in a library. She runs a
tight ship, but her library is full of joy and community,
not a place where kids tiptoe around on eggshells. She
teaches them that every person has a story just like
every book on her shelves. She also has a board
game section that kids can check out weekly. My kids
(52:20):
have used it for years. But after all that use,
the games are pretty beat up and missing pieces. I'd
love to help replenish that section as a thank you
to her. I know she'd be so grateful and so
would we. And that's from Tessa. And Tessa, our friends
at Hasbro, they are sending Mrs. Connor a $ 500 Walmart
(52:40):
gift card to stock up.
Speaker 2 (52:43):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (52:43):
On games. And I love that the kids can check
them out. Yes.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
And I love that. That's the librarian that's going to make–
those kids are going to remember like my librarian always
had these games that I would check out. That's going
to be like a core memory for them. That's sweet.
And I think it's cool that like when we're learning,
it always doesn't have to come from like a worksheet
or a lesson in the classroom.
Speaker 3 (53:08):
Exactly. Like Scrabble helps build vocabulary. Trivial Pursuit sparks curiosity
and Jenga teaches patience, focus, and problem solving, can even
teach connection and knowing someone on a deeper level if
you decide to write things on the Jenga things. And
then even if the tower comes crashing down, it's still
(53:30):
learning that's happening there.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
And when you learn that way, it actually sticks because
it's fun.
Speaker 3 (53:37):
So whether you're keeping learning going at home or in
the classroom, you can find these Hasbro favorites at your
local Walmart. Or simply tap the link in today's show
notes to discover more ways to learn through play. And
we're super grateful for this partnership with Hasbro and Walmart
and these fun moments where we're getting to send or
(54:01):
be a part of. I guess we're just the liaison
of these gift cards to people. If you have a
teacher you would like to highlight for this Hasbro moment,
you can email us. hey, they're at feelingthingspodcast.com. And you
can also call 877-207-2077. Whether you're calling about that, or
(54:21):
you've got a question for couch talks, or you've got insight.
We've heard from people before, and that's one of the
coolest things I guess I would have to say about
our listeners coming together is when they have commented on
a previous listener's couch talks question or something else that
(54:45):
we've shared. And then there's been some like back and forth.
And again, we're the liaison, like we're the, we're the
connector of like, y'all are sitting wherever you are in traffic.
Or if you're on a walk or you're doing stuff
around the house or you're on your lunch break at work,
whenever you're listening to us, y'all are spread out all around.
And the one thing is that we, when we connect
(55:08):
that way, we get to bring y'all together and like
y'all can send notes to each other through us and
then we'll read it or play the voicemail or whatever.
But that's been one of the coolest things, even dating
back to the fifth thing back in the day, how
we used to do that. And people would touch and
people are listening to podcasts at such different times. They'd
be like, I'm finally listening to this one episode. And
I just saw one of the listener's Tina, you know,
(55:31):
it's always Tina. It's always my go-to. And I just
had to say, I had this one experience if you
could pass it along. So stuff like that, we love.
And we have something like that coming up in this
week's Couch Talks on Thursday too, where we got, we
have a cool voicemail from a listener that's reaching out
to something else the listener wrote in about.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
Especially when it's like giving feedback to listeners who are
asking for it. We don't have always the answers.
Speaker 3 (55:58):
Or the life experience. Yes.
Speaker 2 (55:59):
And so I think that's actually really helpful. If you
relate to something, you could say something better than we could.
Speaker 3 (56:07):
Which I would say, I feel like for this week's
Couch Talks in a couple of days for Thursday, I
feel like that's a perfect example of that. There's wisdom
being delivered because of a life experience that Kat and
I haven't gone through. So we wouldn't have thought to
share that.
Speaker 2 (56:23):
We both were like, that's good.
Speaker 3 (56:25):
That's so good. And I think that the listener kind
of thought it was just meh or okay, or just like, hey,
I just want to pass this along. Like it's not
a big thing. So that is really, really cool. If
you're ever listening to us tell stories or talk about
something and it resonates with you, share it with us.
That's what Kat and I want this space to be about.
This connection, like why we're doing this podcast, this community
(56:48):
of like... We want it to be like we're sitting
around a table with y'all playing jingo pulling questions. But
we don't have that luxury of all of us being
in one place. But when y'all email in or leave
a voicemail, that's participating in the process. So we're super
grateful for that. Because it's not lost on us that
(57:09):
for some of you it might be weird to email
a podcast or leave a voicemail. But it's not weird.
Speaker 2 (57:15):
It's not weird.
Speaker 4 (57:15):
It's cool.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
So thank you to Hasbro. Thank you to Walmart. And thanks, Kat,
for keeping us in love. You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (57:24):
Thanks, Neuroscience Talk.
Speaker 3 (57:26):
At least five things for sure we need to do,
aka seven, to stay in love. And then don't forget
the whimsy tip of the week from Anna Voss. Make
yourself a ticket and invite yourself to a great day.
And we hope wherever you are, you have the day
you need to have.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
Bye. Bye. Bye.
One, two, three.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just want some,
Amy and Kat got you covered like an umbrella. Ladies
and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where it
tell us.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in-between.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop
and feel things.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday.
Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
And I'm Kat.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Okay, quick question for you. Do you feel like you
fidget at work and touch your hair or your jewelry
or your necklace?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I always am touching my earrings. I go like this.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Well, I saw on a reel from Hot Smart Rich,
which is the name of a podcast, and I don't
follow it, but it pops up in my FYP all
the time. And this caught my attention. PSA, ladies, stop
touching yourself at work. And I touch my hair and
my face all the time. Apparently for men, it's very
(01:05):
distracting when we do this and it reads as you
are nervous or you like me. What is considered self-touch?
Fixing or tucking your hair, fixing our earrings, tucking our clothes,
wringing our hands, playing with our bracelets, especially when they
are loud bangles. Loud bangles take away from your competence.
(01:28):
even though it has nothing to do with your competence.
A loud bangle is considered an audible self-touch. So a
pro tip, your hair, jewelry, and clothing should be able
to live as they are in the workplace. We don't
need to fidget with them or touch them.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I have thoughts. One, I don't like calling this self-touch.
Self-touch to me means something else, which is fine, but
those are different. And we shouldn't be doing self-touch at work.
That is fair.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I know. Well, that's probably why the PSA got me. Ladies,
stop touching yourself at work. I'm like, huh. But I
do know what they're referring to. And I do fidget
all the time.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
But also what I don't like is that one of
the things is like men take that as you like me.
It's like, oh, come on.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Get over yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Like not everything's about you sometimes. it just feels good
to play with my earring. Like it's self soothing to me.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
There's an earring that I was unclipping and.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I love unclipping and clipping my earring too.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Except for, have you noticed it breaks your earrings faster?
There's two that have gone down. I know that had
prematurely stopped clipping because I was opening and closing, opening
and closing, opening and closing. And then it's a real bummer.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
What is a bummer for me is when it gets
off kilter and then I can't close it. And then
it's distracting because then I'm, trying to work but also
I'm like oh I guess I'll just take the.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Earring out there is something really satisfying about that all
right on to another reel that I saw and I
want your thoughts on I sent this to you on
Instagram I don't know if you saw it or not
but it was about the underarms except for she kept
using the word armpits and you know how I feel
about that word I do not like it she did
an experiment because she saw another content creator online say
that anytime she lifted up her arms in a video
(03:09):
and showed her underarms she got more engagement So this
person decided to make two videos. Everything is identical, what
she's wearing, what she's saying, all the same, except for
in one of the videos, she lifted up her arms
and moved her hair back. So it revealed her underarms,
except for she said armpits. And she got more views
(03:34):
on the underarm video. And so I'm like, what's up
with this? Is there something going on with underarms?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Can you show everybody your underarms so we can get
some more views?
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I don't like to do this. Come on. I don't,
I don't like, I don't like underarms.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Do it for us though.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Why is this such a struggle? You're wearing sleeveless. You
show yours.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I don't really want to. Wait a second. Is this showing?
Your hair kind of is covering it.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Well, okay.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
So since you didn't share your feeling of the day,
I'm going to go, I'm going to, assigned one to you.
Are you shocked or are you like disgusted? Are you disturbed?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I'm curious. I guess I'm not, it's, it's the underarm thing.
Isn't totally disturbing to me. I just, you know, I
have a cringe type feeling when it comes to this and,
and the fact that over and over when she's explaining
the video, she just says armpits over.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
And over and over.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
And I'm like, why is that word so difficult for me?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I want to know which video got more, the one
of her explaining her experiment or the one of her armpits.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I think the underarm one. Why did you just call
it that?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Did I call it, did I say armpits?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I'm sorry. Well, I don't have a problem with that word.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
You don't.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I will be more conscientious for you. Thank you. It
kind of rolls off my tongue. I don't have to
think about it. I would like to know the psychology
behind it, though.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It's not like you're showing, I guess it's showing more skin,
but it's not like salacious skin.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
If anything, I would be like, she's doing weird things
with her arms. Maybe that's it.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
No, all she did was, like, pull her hair back,
and it just revealed her underarms. So I don't know
if there's something about that.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Is she fidgeting? Is she practicing self-touch?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
No, but she's, I think, maybe the same person that
said not to touch. Oh. She's that communications expert. No, no, no, no.
She's that communications expert. You see her everywhere. Did she
not pop up in your feed? She's got long brown hair. Yeah.
I'm trying to find her link now. What's her name?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
She got really big after she was on Diary of
a CEO, I feel like.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Yes, and she has a really popular TED Talk.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh, what's it about? Talking?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Speaking? Communicating. I just remember she said in the first
few seconds of meeting someone, they should see both your
hands are free. No threat. Nothing to see here because
it's inviting to know that you're not hiding.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
A weapon.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I don't know if this goes back... Like if you
just think of how we've evolved, like if you see
both hands are free, you feel safe. Sure. There's no threat.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
So like present yourself. Hi. I am here. No threat.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I think I'd have more of a concern if you
did that when I met you than if your hand
was in your pocket.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
And I think in the TED Talk too, she talked
about if you say, I have four things to say.
Like if you give people the visual of what you're
about to say. Like it really helps that connection. It's
been a minute since I watched the TED Talk and
maybe it wasn't even her to be honest, but I'm 99%
sure it was her because I feel like she's cornered
(06:43):
the market on communication.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Here's a question that doesn't come up, but it's coming
up right now. Are TED Talks still a thing? Because
I feel like 10, 12 years ago, I would sit
and watch like a viral TED Talk because that's when like, well,
I guess maybe I've just changed. But I feel like
now what's the difference? There's TED Talks and there's like
TED in every city and you can pay to have
(07:08):
a TED Talk. Did you know that? You can pay.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
TEDx or TED Talk? TEDx. Okay, TEDx is different than TED.
TEDx is the local community. I feel like massive TED Talks,
I have no idea if there's still a thing, but
I feel like that's totally different.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
And she had a massive one. She had TED Talk,
not TEDx.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Yeah, sure, sure. She was TED Talk, which I just
found her video and her name is Vanessa Van Edwards.
And she has 1.2 million followers. What a name. Vanessa
Van Edwards.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
She sounds like a royal.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
She's a Harvard instructor and behavioral researcher helping you master communication.
I could probably take some notes from her for sure.
But she did this whole... Look at this video. She's
holding up her arm and it's called her armpit hypothesis.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It is a little off-putting.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I know. I'm not into it at all, but....
Speaker 2 (07:59):
But that's the thing though, that I think anything off-putting
get gets attention. So should we just start doing weird
things while we.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
No, I'm good. I'm totally happy with the way that
we operate. We are good to go, which we sort
of touched on feeling of the day. Cause you said
I didn't say mine. Cause mine really, mine was curious. Uh,
But I did sneak a peek in our doc and
you wrote that you were feeling a little sad about
something that I'm actually excited about. So I'm perplexed.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
So that's my feeling of the day is I'm just
full of curiosity about the underarms and why you're feeling
sad about something that I'm excited about.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So did I tell you to read Verity?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
You did. Okay. And I didn't read it. I listened
to it. Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Same.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah. But same.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Listening is reading.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah, it's the same. I was just being transparent about
I never actually had the physical copy of that book.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
So you had sent me a DM. I don't even
know if you remember this. Probably because you saw this
and you were excited. That Verity is supposed to be
like the box office blow up of the year. Like
even more than all the other movies that have come
out recently.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Which the Odyssey is like breaking records. Is there another
recent movie? Spider-Man. Like all that stuff. So I was
watching that. I was like, oh, this is so exciting
because I've been waiting for this to come out since
I listened to the book years ago because I knew
years ago they were making it into a movie.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Well, I had no idea and you just told me
to listen to it a couple of months ago and
I had no idea they were making a movie. And
it's with Anne Hathaway and Dakota Johnson.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
So I watched that video that you sent me. I
was sitting with Patrick and I listened to the book together. And?
I was like, oh my gosh, it's about to come out, blah, blah, blah.
I'm so excited because I love going to the movie theater.
But it's coming out October 2nd. I'm not going to
be able to go to the movie theater.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Oh, that's why you're sad is because baby Zoe will
be here and you can't go to the movie theater?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
This this i feel like i that's gonna be like
two weeks after she's born probably yeah you're probably not
gonna want to go to like a germy theater yeah
and that's it's depressing to me because i've been waiting
for this for so long and they didn't even consider.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Zoe's due date how rude Well, I'm sure you can
see it shortly thereafter. You're going to want a break
and maybe.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
But at my house, it's different. There's just not a
lot of movie... I love going to movie theaters and
there's not a lot of movies that I want to
see in the theater.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
And that's one of them. And that's one of them.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But to put a happy note on my feelings too,
that is making me sad. But I would say I'm
feeling not energized, but... um pumped up doesn't fit um.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
What is it what is it and.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
We can i feel good because of something you said
okay so i feel what's the word it's on the
tip of my tongue.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Well if you can tell me what it is that
i said so when i walked in you were like
oh you look so cute and like i haven't been
feeling very cute lately and i don't have a lot
of clothes that fit and then i did that thing
that girls do when i'm like oh thanks my dress
is from tiktok it was thirteen dollars And I was
thinking I would have got, when I ordered this dress,
I was like, it was $ 13.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
If it's trash, who cares? But I love it. And
you made me, you confirmed my feelings.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Yeah. I think feeling pumped up is good.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
What is, I feel.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Validated in your.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
$ 13 well spent. I feel happy.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
We make it simple.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
You're feeling complimented.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
You're feeling. That's a fact.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I was complimented.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
But you're feeling affirmed. In your decision, you're feeling pretty,
feeling cute.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I wouldn't go that far.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
It is cute.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
It's so cute. You walked in and I was like, oh,
cute dress. And the fact that you got it for
$ 13 on TikTok shop.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
And listen.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Was a pregnant person promoting it or just a normal person?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I don't remember. I think it was a pregnant person,
but it's not.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
By normal, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
It's not a non-pregnant. It's not maternity. I just got,
I just sized up in it. But a pregnant person
was promoting it and no. I used to be afraid
to order things from TikTok shop because I didn't understand
what it was.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
And you thought, I'm just sending money off to this
random place and is the product even going to arrive? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I get that. But it's like Amazon. Like, you can
find some of the same stuff. And you can return things.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
See that?
Speaker 3 (12:28):
I wouldn't think you would be able to return. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I've returned something from TikTok. I've returned something from TikTok.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Is it coming from an actual supplier or from some
girl's closet?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I don't understand how it works. Because I bought it
from a girl that was promoting it, but I think
she just has like affiliate links kind of thing. It
would be like us posting an Amazon link that we
get commission for.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Okay, so it's like that. It's not like they buy
a bunch of dresses and then they have to sell them.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I don't think so. Okay. Because I also... Oh, oh, oh, oh.
This is something that I feel like both of us need.
Have you heard of those folio things? They're like folders.
I've been targeted with these on TikTok. But the reason
I don't think people order them is because I keep
getting different people promoting them. They're like folders that you
(13:28):
can put like every kind of document in, like your passport,
birth certificate, social security cards, anything. But it's something that
I feel like we as people with ADHD need because I–
everything's always in a different place.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
So it's called a folio?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
It's called a folio. I'm sure people have heard of
these before. Is it fireproof? It's something that people say,
I need this in case of a fire. Because then
you just go run and grab this thing instead of,
I have to go to five different places to get
all of our documents.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Right. Okay.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
So I'm thinking about getting one of those.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
But if you did that thing where you made yourself
that digital, that email, you'd have everything digital. You wouldn't
need a... Folio. You can scan everything in.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
But don't you want your, like, original birth certificate?
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Oh, I think you have to have that.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
The original, the one from the hospital.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
If I have that still, I don't know. Maybe I do.
Or I have a copy of it. But you're right.
I think having a folio would be helpful. But keeping
it in a fireproof box would be even next level.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
More helpful.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Because then you don't even have to go grab that.
It's just safe.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
That's why.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I currently keep important things in the freezer and I
have no idea if that's doing anything for me, but
I just feel like the last thing to burn in
my house would maybe be the freezer, but I can
be wrong on that.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
So you don't keep things in your freezer because that's
like where people will, you know, back in the day
people would keep money in the freezer because that's like
where you would hide it.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
That's not why you're keeping stuff in there.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
No, it's just also so I know. And like right
now I think some of it got moved out, but.
I probably need to go put it back because it
just helps me in a Ziploc bag and a freezer,
like my social security card, my passport, just like in
a Ziploc in the freezer. And then I have a
little gold nugget that I keep in the freezer.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
In case times get hard.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I probably shouldn't announce that because people know they can go.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yeah, now people are going to come into your house
and get your gold nugget.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
I'm going to be moving that, which I need to
move to a bank, like a vault anyways, I think.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
It's money. Do people still put stuff in bank vaults?
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Where is the bank vault, though?
Speaker 3 (15:40):
You go rent one.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
At your local branch.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Like a PO box type of thing.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Like a little drawer. Like it might be big enough
for papers. It might be big enough for other items.
I mean, I'm sure you pay for what you get.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
People keep cash in there, you think?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Or Bobby has memorabilia collectibles. like certain baseball cards.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Wait, that's so, that's really smart for people who are
more likely to get robbed.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Right. It's just a safe place to keep everything. Yeah. Smart.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Is that like you have to pay for it though?
It's like rent, you have to pay rent. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
It's like a, like you were saying, like a PO box,
like it's your box. You only have the key.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I don't think you just can have one for free. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
I guess that makes sense. I don't know why I
would think it'd be free. Huh?
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Well, Cool.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I didn't know that was a thing. I thought that
was like something from the olden days.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
We got some DMs I want to shout out. We've
not really done this much, but maybe we'll start dabbling
in sharing random DMs. This one says, please let Kat
and Amy know how thankful I am they are putting
in the effort to prep episodes before Kat's birth. I
know it must be incredibly difficult to add on to
(16:57):
their already large workloads and the effort does not go unrecognized.
Watching or listening to the podcast Tuesdays and Thursdays is
always a highlight.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Of my week.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
That might be one of the most special DMs because, yes,
with baby Zoe coming, we have been prepping a lot.
And it's not like we're really talking about it. Yeah.
But this listener is recognizing it. So we feel pumped up.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah. How did we say that we were doing that?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
We must have.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
I mean, she's probably just catching on to the fact,
maybe we said we're going to have all new episodes
while you're gone, which we are.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Which I think is not the norm, right?
Speaker 3 (17:37):
No, I was going to just, maybe this is what
we discussed is you were, I was assuming you would
take maternity leave and I would have guests come on
or we would figure out episodes or I would do
them by myself or Chase would fill in or something.
And then you were like, no, I want to do them.
And I'm like, okay, sweet. So we just got to
work ahead. So that way we're all square and good
(18:00):
to go.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah. I was thinking that's not fair for me not to,
which is not for me not to work and for
that to all be on your shoulders. But then it
is kind of like, it's work either way because you
would have to work by doing the episodes by yourself
or we have to work extra now.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
I mean, I would rather do them with you. And
also this is part of, life, you are having a
baby and I support maternity leave. I did see some
clip online where, I don't know if it was at
a political rally or something, but some guy in a
cowboy hat, he's running for office in Florida, I think.
(18:39):
I don't know what office. in particular, but he was
being asked about maternity leave. And he was like, no,
I don't really support it. I think women should get
like maybe one or two days.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I think I saw this.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Did you see that? It was very viral. And I
even went to his page because I was so disturbed
by him saying it. And then I exhaled and moved
on with my life because he had very little traction
and I don't know what he's running for. And I
hope he doesn't.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
It was a weird take.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
But it was, so bizarre i thought is this man
married does he have children because if i'm this guy's
wife or daughter i'm like dad shut up husband shut up.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Well i'm more thinking that was i did see this
it was i.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Mean obviously was birthed by a woman there's.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
A woman in his life somewhere but i thought it
was a weird take because i'm like wait a second
if i guess maybe his wife doesn't work if he's
married because i'm like if your wife works don't you
want that for your family Like, what do you mean?
Like how? But I didn't consider that maybe his wife
doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
I am guessing the five seconds I spent on his page,
he might be single. But. I could be wrong.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, that was a weird.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Let me tell you, there are a lot of politicians
out there where I'm like, what, what, how, what is
it like at home with your wife? Because if I
was your wife, I'd be like, you are a moron.
You're a moron. And I can't handle you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Some of them have the same beliefs. They probably marry
people with the same beliefs.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
You know?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I mean, I'm sure there's some of that.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I don't even know that some of those people believe
what they say.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Oh, you think they're saying it for... I think they maybe.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Come home and they're like, you're a moron. They're like,
I know. I can't believe I had to say that today.
But yeah, got to get the votes. You know, I
don't know. I'm like, there's no way these people can
actually really believe some of the things that they're saying.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
But I could not stand by somebody... Like if Patrick
said that on a video and it went viral... I
would be mortified and would be like, we are not
aligned in life. If that's what you're going to say
to people.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Okay. But let's say that's the one thing he does.
Cause in previous episodes, multiple times you've said I'm obsessed
with my husband. Yeah. It would that do it?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Like you would be like, he was promoting that women
shouldn't have rights.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah. Like they only get one, one or two days
in paternity leave.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Maternity.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Yeah. Maternity.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I would, yes, that would do.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
What? I mean, that's, but I love him. I love him.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
I know.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
But if he said that, that would change who he is.
If he thinks that about women and their value to
both their own, their selves, their health, their workplace and
their families. I think we wouldn't have been a match
if that's what he, I wouldn't love him if that's
(21:29):
what he thought. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Well, now that you've cleared that up.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Would you date somebody who said that?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
On the first date and you're like, so what do
you think about maternity leave?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
No.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
It's like one or two days.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
I would, no.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Would you end the date?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
I guess as quickly as I possibly could. I don't
want to be, or I tried to find out more
ridiculous things he would say so I could talk about
it later.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Maybe that's a question that you ask on first dates.
You slide it in somehow. You can do it.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You remember that tip? Remember that tip I gave? Remember
that tip? Remember that tip I gave you about how
to start first dates that came from the dating girl?
Her name is blanking, but she has the Later Dater Show.
That was like when you get to a first date,
you should just be like, oh, on the way over here,
I was listening to this podcast, this crazy thing came up,
(22:19):
to start it to not feel like awkward and small talky.
You could do that. You could get to your date
and be like, oh, my gosh, I just saw this
crazy TikTok. And this guy said that women should only
have one or two days of maternity leave. Isn't that nuts?
And see how they respond.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
So then if they say, I agree, you could be like, oh,
my gosh, I have to throw up. I got to go.
I got to go.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
This is not going to work. Okay. We got another
DM to shout out. Now, this is referring back to
an episode where– What were we talking about?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
You were talking about pranking your sister.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Pranking my sister. Okay. When I would call my sister's
boyfriends when we were little, I was four years younger
than my sister. So put my sister in eighth grade,
me in fourth grade. I call her boyfriends. I pretend
I'm her. And I say, I love you. And they're like, oh, okay.
You know, but I say it as my sister. Yeah.
(23:15):
I pretend to be her. So this DM is. A
listener confessing what they used to do to their sister.
I used to tell my sister things to make her
cry when she was about three because she was so
cute when she cried and she let me hug her
to comfort her. I would tell her bad things like,
(23:36):
one day mom and dad will no longer be alive
and it will be just you and me.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I think this is worse than what you did. For sure.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
But I could see as a kid, like if you're,
sisters or your little sisters like so cute when she
cries and and then she lets you comfort her.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
You're like i'm gonna make you cry but in like
a not my fault way.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
So i guess this dm popped up because they put
this under the real like they saw that real post
of ours and then they sent this message yeah like
oh i used to do this to my sister yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I i wonder if there's any other way that maybe
we could get you some comfort.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Well hopefully she doesn't do that now That they're adults.
I think it's just confessing to things you used to
do when you were little.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I want to know what her sister thinks of that now. Like,
I want to know what else you said to her.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
I know. She probably traumatized her little sister. I do
have a whimsy tip from Anna Voss, like the queen
of whimsy. And I loved this assignment so much. You
make a ticket and invite yourself to a great day.
Now showing. your amazing, wonderful day ahead, like a movie ticket.
(24:48):
Create a ticket, and it could look like a movie ticket,
like a Willy Wonka ticket.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
A golden ticket.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Or she said you could even send yourself an e-vite
if you wanted to go that far. Send it to
yourself in an email, and it's like you're scheduling joy,
like you're scheduling this great day, like you've been invited.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I want to schedule out the day, though, if I
do that. I'm like, you're going to have a great day,
and these are the things you're going to do.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
You could do that.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Like, you could put that all on your e-vite. Yeah.
Be like, at 5 o'clock, this is happening, 7 o'clock,
which I feel like once baby Zoe comes, you're going
to have to sort of be intentional about carving out
some time for yourself somehow. That's why I'm thinking, like,
a few weeks in, if you want to go see Verity,
I'll go see it with you, and Patrick can be
with Zoe, and you'll be fine. You just might need
(25:38):
to take the pump. That's the breast pump?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I know. I just can't imagine in two weeks leaving her.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
For two hours? The movie's two hours.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
I know, but.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I don't know what I'm going to feel like. I
will reserve space to do that, but I also am
really interested in seeing how I'm going to be. Because
I don't know how anxious I'm going to be. I
don't know how strict I'm going to be. I don't
know how obsessed with her I'm going to be. So, okay,
(26:20):
maybe we'll go together, but also.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
How about I give you a redeemable ticket at any time?
It doesn't have a date on it, but if you
need a break of some sorts, you can have your
ticket to look forward to and be like, I want
to cash in the ticket and I'll come pick you up.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
And I thought you were going to say that you
were going to give me a ticket that Anytime I wanted,
you would get them to play the movie in the
theaters for me.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Well, I don't know how to do that. There are
movies popping up on Twitter, though, like on X. I
think Odyssey and Spider-Man both ended up on. What? X.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
You can watch them on.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Well, I mean, someone's putting it up there illegally, but yeah,
it's up there. So maybe someone would do that for Verity.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
How do they not get caught?
Speaker 3 (27:07):
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
That is crazy.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
The Odyssey one looked like actual footage. The Spider-Man one,
I think, was someone filmed it inside the theater and
then uploaded it. But what are.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
You getting out of that? It's not like how back
in the day.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
You're getting to watch it at home with your baby?
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Well, no, no, no, no. I mean, the person that's
doing it. Like, you know, back in the day, people
would film them and then they would turn them into
DVDs and sell them on the street, like the black
market movies. But on Twitter, you're not... If you just
post it on Twitter, you're not getting paid for that,
I assume.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I have no idea. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
You could get in big, big trouble if they trace
it back to you.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I don't go to Twitter much anymore. Did you ever?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I had a Twitter back when it was like, going
to lunch with Emily. That's what we would tweet. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
So... I loved that it had a character limit because
it really forced me to condense what I was going
to say.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Does it not anymore?
Speaker 3 (28:06):
And I just get straight to the point. Well, I'm
sure it does. I don't know anymore. I don't go
over there. I don't know if that part has changed,
but I assume they kept that part similar. I don't
know because I don't tweet or X. What do they
call it?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Yeah, what do they call it?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Well, it's called X, but are you X-ing? Are you tweeting?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
I don't like X-ing. I think you're still tweeting on X. Mm-hmm.
Do you think they'll ever change it back to Twitter?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
No, because Elon bought it and took it over and
changed it.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Maybe it's just a prank. Just kidding.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
He's like, just kidding. It's Twitter now.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yeah. I probably need to block my Twitter. How do
you make it? I assume it's private. I wouldn't want
people to go back and read those. Not because, like
I said, bad things, but because it's probably embarrassing, similar
to people's Facebook statuses.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I pulled up some old tweets that I have. I
pulled this a couple of weeks ago for Show Prep
on the Bobby Bone Show, and it never got used,
so I just searched my email and found it in
my Show Prep. I can read you a tweet that
I put up from July 18, 2018. This is the
kind of stuff I used to tweet.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Not that long ago either.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
2018?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
2018?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
It's not like 2010. This is eight years ago.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Okay, okay, okay. Twitter wasn't even... When did Twitter... I
guess it was around in 2010, yeah. I mean, but barely.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Okay, this was so long ago.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
To me, it feels like a long time ago. My
dad's girlfriend pulled up Twitter on her phone. I was like, oh, wow, she...
she has Twitter, which also means she might see this.
But today she said to me, how crazy is it
that my boyfriend is your dad? And in my head,
I was like, not as crazy as you being my
sister's husband's grandma. Wait, what?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
My sister's husband's sober related. So your sister is kind
of related. No.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
My sister's husband's grandma was dating our dad.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
So they weren't related. They never got married. They were
just boyfriend and girlfriend. But that's the kind of stuff
I would tweet.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Those are kind of interesting. Those are funny. That's funny.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
Well.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
That's not embarrassing. That's not like a song lyric about, like,
somebody breaking your heart or something, you know?
Speaker 3 (30:23):
That was my condensed way of saying this is weird.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I wish that I could go back and look at, like,
my AIM away messages.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Oh, there's no access to that?
Speaker 2 (30:34):
I don't think we have access to AIM anything. Because
I remember I would, like, lie on them. Like, I would.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
What would you say?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Well, I would, like, want people to know that I was, like,
doing things I thought were cool. So I remember one
time I was like, oh my gosh, it's so nice out.
I'm going for, uh, I'm going to go run a mile.
This was probably in like seventh grade, but I didn't
go run. I think I just like went and ate
a snack or something, but I wanted my, my crush
(31:02):
to see that I was like athletic.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Oh, you're so athletic.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Cause I was running one mile. I was probably like,
I probably was eating a snack and then being like, okay,
has it been 10 minutes? I can get back on it.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
You're like, oh, that was hard.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
So if you have a free account on X, you
are capped at 280 characters per post. If you have
a premium subscription, you're allowed 25,000 characters.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
What would you need that many characters for?
Speaker 3 (31:36):
And apparently full movies. And then for direct messages, you're
capped at 10,000 characters for all users. So you can
send someone a lengthy DM. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
What would you need? Twenty five thousand characters.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
I mean, if you're writing, if you're writing a dissertation. Yeah.
Almost like I would say like an article and you post.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
It on X versus a link. Got it. I got it.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
So there you go. Fun fact, in case you're thinking
of dabbling back over there on Twitter, Twitter.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Sorry, I can't. I can't. I can't call it X either.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
I think that that was that's one of the most.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Failed transitions ever. I'm trying to think of what else
was failed, but recently, this isn't like riveting news, but
you know how Spotify changed their logo and literally a
week later they had to rechange it because people hated it.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Same thing with Cracker Barrel.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
People just really have a difficult time with change. Yeah.
But in a way, the Cracker Barrel thing, I'm like,
this kind of worked out for them because it got
them so much more publicity than they would have gotten.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
One of my best friends works for Cracker Barrel. I
don't think it was good on the inside.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
I think I did just see recently the CEO step down.
Was it over that controversy? No. Or that was one
of the things?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I might be residual from some of that.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
But I will say my friend that works for Cracker
Barrel really, really, really, really liked that CEO. So she
was sad.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Oh, man.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
So, yeah. I think it got them attention. But it
caused a lot of chaos on the inside that maybe
didn't work out anyway. Fun facts.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Well, I feel like you have a fun couples thing
for us. Like if there's stuff we want to do
to stay in love, be in love.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Long live our love forever.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Well, I thought this. So this I found from on
it was on Instagram from an account called Neuroscience Talk.
And this person took some of we've talked about John Gottman.
We've done his four horsemen before. He's like the father
of couples therapy. And he's done a lot of research
on couples and what keeps them together and what breaks
(33:49):
them apart. And one of the crazy things about him
that I am still like this blows my mind is
he can predict with it 90 percent, I think, accuracy
rate if a couple is going to stay together or
leave within a very small period of time. I don't
remember what it was, but like something like 10 minutes
he can tell you are they going to stay together
(34:10):
or not from his research that he's done. So this
account took some of his research and wrote a little
article about seven things couples who stay in love do
every single morning. So if you want to stay in love,
I think about this a lot. I'm, like you said,
obsessed with my husband, but I've only been married for
(34:31):
two and a half years.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
So it's early.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
So it's easy now, I feel like. And we have
no kids. Stress is not. So I want as a
human to think about how do I maintain this when
the newness of it and the easiness and the ease
of it isn't there. So I want to go through
the seven. And if you guys want, jot them down.
(34:57):
There are things that, I will say this, there are
things that sound really simple if you have no Life stressors.
But if there is anything going on in life, they
are more difficult than they sound. So if you're thinking like,
I don't do this, give yourself a little bit of
some grace.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
And did they do all seven of these things every morning? Yeah.
All seven? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
So this person said you don't need more time. You
need better mornings. Okay. 20 minutes of intentional connection before
the day begins does more for you, does more for
your bond than a weekend away once a year. So
they're saying it's not that like you don't need that
much time together. You just need something simple. And I
think the ideas do all seven. But if you do
(35:43):
five of the seven or four of the seven, then
I think that's a lot better than nothing.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
So the first one is they connect before they check
their phones. Reaching for a screen before your partner primes
your brain for distraction and stress. Reaching for your partner
first activates the social bonding system instead. So that's really simple.
But I think also it's really easy for us, our
alarm to go off, to pick up our phone and
(36:09):
just immediately get into something versus your alarm goes off,
you turn it off and then like you turn around
and give your husband or your partner a hug.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Well, even as a single person, I know it's not
good to, I have to avoid getting on my phone. Yeah.
Because if we have single people listening right now, like
just in a way to treat yourself better. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Like.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
In nurturing your relationship with self, like don't get on
your phone right away. And a lot of us, our
phone is our alarm. So it's so hard, but it's
like turn that alarm off and then put the phone away.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
And then you can go to it later. Number two,
they share physical touch to trigger morning oxytocin. A hug,
a hand on the back, or a gentle touch triggers
oxytocin release immediately. Morning oxytocin creates a stress buffering effect
That lasts throughout the day. Couples who touch in the
morning show lower cortisol responses to stress later. Which is
(37:06):
so simple. That's so little.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
That is little. I will say sometimes my cat will
like sleep, come snuggle up next to me. It's not
every time, but when I wake up in the morning
and she's right next to me and her face is
towards the door, which I have read that's a sign
of your cat wanting to look out over you to
(37:27):
protect you. Because their eye is on the door. Like
she won't ever just face the other side of the room.
It's always facing towards the door. So I see that
as her watching out for me. But I do get
a release of something. Maybe it's oxytocin. I don't know.
I do get some sort of a cared for hit
(37:48):
of like, oh, my cat is here. She's with me.
She's taking care of me. I'm not alone. I'm going
to go in and interject every single thing for a
single person.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Well, I was going to say I kind of like
that you're doing that because we're talking about connection here,
and we're not just talking about how to stay in love. Yes,
this is about how people stay in love, but also
this is talking about how these things create less stress
throughout your day. So it's not just these things create
(38:19):
better relationships. It's like your whole day gets started off better.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Oh, so this is helping my stress by avoiding my phone.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
And being with your cat.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
And then if my dog or my cat is near me,
like that could help.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Well, this one might be hard for you though. Oh, shoot. Okay.
They use the six second kiss.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Okay. This one's going to be a little more difficult.
I'm not making out with my animals. But I mean,
I guess I could.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
You could do like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Like here, let me kiss your forehead.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Yes. Yeah, I guess I could do that.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Safe touch.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Safe touch.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Gottman found that six seconds is the minimum duration for
a kiss to trigger meaningful oxytocin release. Six seconds is
all it takes to change the chemistry of your entire day.
Six seconds. So I think it needs to be six seconds.
It can be more, but it needs to at least
be six. But six is kind of long.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Is this like right when you wake up?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
In the morning before you get out of bed.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
Do you brush your teeth?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
No.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Have you ever kissed someone before you brush? You've been
married before, Amy.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Okay, but it's been a long, long time. And no,
I don't have that. same experience waking up because I
would wake up in my marriage. My husband was gone
half the time. Also, when he was home, I would
wake up at four in the morning and.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Go brush your teeth.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Oh. No, and leave for work.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Oh, so you would brush your teeth and get back
in bed?
Speaker 3 (39:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
I did have a boyfriend once that I, and this
I think speaks to how comfortable I was with this person.
Like in the morning before he would touch me or anything,
I would be like, I have to go brush my
teeth and then come back. So I don't do that anymore.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
So now it's just like.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
I mean, it is what it is. Like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Number four, they express genuine appreciation before the day begins.
Appreciation triggers dopamine in the receiver and oxytocin in both
partners simultaneously. It does not need to be elaborate. Specific
and sincere activates the reward response. So this doesn't have
to be like a shower you with compliments. This can
just be something like easy and sweet. Like it can
(40:32):
just be like I love you or I love waking
up next to you or something like that. You could
say that to your cat.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
I love waking up next to you. I do love
when she– Is cuddled up right next to me. Again,
I don't know what days cause her to do that
or not. Like, why wouldn't it be consistent? I don't
know why she doesn't just do it every day.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Does your dog sleep in there?
Speaker 3 (40:53):
She's the foot of my bed.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
But Maggie comes up, like, right by me. Kara can't fit.
She's too big. Plus, I don't want her grubby paws
up there.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
But you want, you don't, okay. You don't mind the cat?
Speaker 3 (41:08):
No.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Even though the cat. She's a little petite. paws. Yeah,
but she walks in a litter box.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
She licks them. She licks her paws. She licks her
paws all the time.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Does that make it better?
Speaker 3 (41:20):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Yes. This is my hot take on cats. Your cat is,
and I will say this, I really mean this. I'm
not a cat person. Your cat is so cute. So
cute and soft and cuddly. Well, I don't know if
she's cuddly. I've never cuddled her. But my thing about
cats is they walk in the litter box and then
(41:42):
they walk on your kitchen counter. And you cannot, like,
they get everywhere. To me, that's more dirty than a
dog walking outside.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
Well, I have these little animal wipes and I do
them on my dog mostly when we go out. Like
if it's been, if she steps in anything wet, I
should be better at doing it every single time I
take her out. But I need to start cleaning Maggie's
paws with that. It says cat's paws are generally clean
due to their grooming habits, but you should regularly clean
(42:13):
their paws and maintain hygiene in your home with the
help of wipes.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Okay. That's what it says. I would say probably most
people don't do that, but.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Well, I need to do that more.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
It is interesting knowing you and as somebody who wants
to be like a no-shoe household.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
Yeah, but do you see grooming habits? It's they're generally
clean due to their grooming habits. So she's constantly like. Licking.
So her mouth is cleaning her paws.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
I think that is confusing to me.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
What?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Like that her mouth could clean. Because our mouths are
so dirty. Like if we were licking everything, it would
be dirty. But if a cat licks it, it's clean?
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Yes. That is what I choose to believe, except for
I just Googled it. It says... No, a cat's mouth
does not clean their paws. Instead, cats lick their paws
to groom themselves and remove dirt or debris. The saliva
on their paws helps them clean their fur and also
can provide comfort.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Ay-yi-yi. If you need to believe that it cleans and
that works for you, I'm okay with that. Well, what?
Speaker 3 (43:16):
How? Why did I hear, like, that their mouth was
cleaning their paws? Like, I thought that their saliva, like,
had a cleaning agent in it that was cleaning the paws.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I don't know where you heard that. I've never heard that.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
It's probably what I have to tell myself mentally so
that my cat will cuddle up next to me at
night and I won't be bothered by it.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Hey, you're okay and you're healthy. So it's not like
hurting you.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Well, I bathe my cat also from time to time.
Like she'll get groomed or I've posted videos for me
bathing her in the sink and people lose their minds
over that. Like they're like, Cats are self-grooming. They clean themselves. Like,
you shouldn't have to clean a cat. And I'm like, no. No,
I am pro-grooming cats, but so many people are anti that.
(44:06):
So anyway. All right, moving on for all the non-cat people.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
We learned some cat facts.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
Okay, so we need to kiss for six seconds.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
And then appreciation was the next one.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Oh, which for a single person, I guess if you
had your gratitude journal, you could gratitude things you're grateful for.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Yeah, I think that's great.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
Appreciation, yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
And then number five, they respond warmly to each other's
morning bid for connection. And number five, they respond warmly
to each other's morning bid for connection. So a bid
(44:48):
for connection is like any like small reach for attention.
So whether that's like Me putting my hand on you
and then you cuddle up or me cuddling up to
you and you scooting back or me saying good morning
and you just saying good morning back. It can be anything.
Turning towards rather than ignoring somebody builds trust and security
over time. So do you want to spin that one
(45:11):
for the single folk? Respond warmly. So how would you
respond to a bid towards self-connection?
Speaker 3 (45:20):
I don't know that this one's really... possible. We can try, but.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
We'll have to, we'll have to think about it.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
Yeah. Yeah. It's okay. We don't have to hit every single.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Yeah. You don't have to, as long as you do majority,
you're fine. Number six, they blunt the cortisol awakening response together.
So cortisol awakening response is called car. That is like
the normal sharp increase in cortisol that happens the first
like 30 to 45 minutes after you wake up. Um,
Everybody experiences that. And so they do that together. So warm,
(45:55):
warm social connection during this window reduces its intensity. So
basically it's saying they wake up together, which that one
I think is really hard because.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
If everyone's on a different schedule.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Yeah, like with work and like sometimes Patrick leaves the
house at 6am and I'm not even awake yet. And
so I'm not, I'll wake up when he wakes up
cause it just, happens when he gets out of bed,
but I'm not like starting my day at 5 a.m.
with him. So this one is ideal, but also difficult,
especially when you put kids and stuff in the mix.
(46:29):
And then the last one, they set a warm neurochemical
tone for the entire day. Every morning habit listed above
compounds on the others. Together they create a neurochemical environment
of safety connection and reward so i think that.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
One so seven really isn't an extra one it's just
that it's compounding yes i will say like yeah six
and seven are a little bit just of if you're
doing one through five then six and seven naturally happen.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
Maybe you could do six on the weekends regularly yeah
if you could wake up together yeah like on saturday
or sunday yeah um so yeah you don't have to
think of one for seven because uh that's not really
a I think they just wanted it to be seven,
it sounds like.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
It sounded like a better number. Seven things couples who
stay in love do every single morning. And that's from
neuroscience talk based on Gottman's research.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
We have some cat saliva facts that Shannon gave us.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
It contains a mild antibacterial enzyme called Some like lysozyme.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
Lysozyme?
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Lysozyme. But it's not antiseptic or sterile. So what does
that even mean? That like it's a little bit?
Speaker 3 (47:50):
It's a mild antibacterial. Okay.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
It's a little bit clean.
Speaker 3 (47:53):
Or anti... Well, I'm going to get wipes and I'm
going to keep them on my bed. And then I'm
going to rub. Because she'll disappear in the night and
I know where she's going. Probably to her litter box. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
And then she comes back.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
And then she's coming back. And then she's curling up
next to me. And then I'll hold her. And I
love rubbing her paws. Like I love rubbing her little feet.
They're so cute.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
They probably are.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
But I keep her litter box pretty clean. I will say.
And I use pretty litter.
Speaker 4 (48:24):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
It's pretty. It's the clear. And it absorbs. Okay.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
So it doesn't bother you. That's okay. It would bother me.
Speaker 3 (48:37):
When you're at my house and you see Maggie like
all over the kitchen counter, does that freak you out?
Speaker 2 (48:43):
No.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Because I let her just do whatever.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Well, you can't. Cats just do whatever.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Some people don't let their cats on the counter.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
How?
Speaker 3 (48:51):
They just go where they want. They train them. Oh.
I don't know what you do, but you put foil
on your counter or something and it freaks them out.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
Well, you also wash your counters.
Speaker 3 (48:59):
A lot. A lot.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
I think if she was at my house and she
was getting on my counter, it would bother me. But
I think at other people's houses, I'm like, I'm just
here for a second and I'm going to go.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
You don't have to live with it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
If I was living with you, I would be like, oh,
we've got to do something about this cat.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
Yeah. We have our Hasbro. moment of the week, which
is exciting. Our featured games this week are Jenga, Scrabble,
and Trivial Pursuit. All classics. Like, I love all three
of those. Would you use Jenga at work? Yeah. With
your clients?
Speaker 2 (49:36):
More than probably any other game.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
So.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
You could do this with your family too, but I
would take Jenga and write questions on the blocks. And
I could, I did this two different ways. Mostly one
I had with just a new client or a younger
client or a client that has trouble getting like acclimated
or opening up. I would have like some general questions,
(49:59):
get to know you, nothing too deep or crazy. And
so when you play Jenga, each one you pulled, you
had to answer. So even I would answer, they would
be questions that I could also answer. And then I
had one specific for like eating disorders that I would
use with eating disorder clients that some of it was
like facts. Some of it was questions about body image
and stuff like that. But we would play that a
(50:21):
lot of times. And what I liked about that is
it was fun. And so it's kind of disarming, but
also it serves a purpose. And as I'm saying that,
I'm like, you could do that. You could do Jenga
with your friends and write like all kinds of crazy
questions on there or Jenga with your family and write
like cute little.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
Okay so on like here's jenga so on the block
one anywhere on the.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Block where you wouldn't be able to see it once
it's in like on the top or bottom.
Speaker 3 (50:49):
And so and then you insert it and so you
don't see any of the writing and you don't know
what you're pulling and you pull out and it's a
fun question yeah or get to know you question or
a helpful question therapeutically or like you said with your
friends like a way to connect i love that Is
there a nickname for this Jenga modification?
Speaker 2 (51:05):
Therapy Jenga?
Speaker 3 (51:08):
Connection Jenga.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Connection Jenga. That's it. Honestly, I should have like patented this.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Jenga, call me. Hasbro, call me.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
Hasbro, call Kat. Which we do, like I said, have
our Hasbro moment. And this is the email we received.
And then we've got a fun little giveaway. Okay. Hey,
Amy and Kat, longtime listener here. Amy, I've followed you
since your early Bobby Bone Show days, and I've listened
for years. You've inspired me to choose gratitude and find
joy in the little things. I loved hearing about what
(51:38):
y'all are doing with Hasbro. Since our family does game
night every week after dinner, that's legit, it's become one
of our favorite traditions. Phones away, gathered around the table,
just present with each other. When you asked for educator nominations,
I immediately thought of our school librarian, Mrs. Connor. My
(51:58):
kids love books and she might be the most magical
woman you'll ever find in a library. She runs a
tight ship, but her library is full of joy and community,
not a place where kids tiptoe around on eggshells. She
teaches them that every person has a story just like
every book on her shelves. She also has a board
game section that kids can check out weekly. My kids
(52:20):
have used it for years. But after all that use,
the games are pretty beat up and missing pieces. I'd
love to help replenish that section as a thank you
to her. I know she'd be so grateful and so
would we. And that's from Tessa. And Tessa, our friends
at Hasbro, they are sending Mrs. Connor a $ 500 Walmart
(52:40):
gift card to stock up.
Speaker 2 (52:43):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (52:43):
On games. And I love that the kids can check
them out. Yes.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
And I love that. That's the librarian that's going to make–
those kids are going to remember like my librarian always
had these games that I would check out. That's going
to be like a core memory for them. That's sweet.
And I think it's cool that like when we're learning,
it always doesn't have to come from like a worksheet
or a lesson in the classroom.
Speaker 3 (53:08):
Exactly. Like Scrabble helps build vocabulary. Trivial Pursuit sparks curiosity
and Jenga teaches patience, focus, and problem solving, can even
teach connection and knowing someone on a deeper level if
you decide to write things on the Jenga things. And
then even if the tower comes crashing down, it's still
(53:30):
learning that's happening there.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
And when you learn that way, it actually sticks because
it's fun.
Speaker 3 (53:37):
So whether you're keeping learning going at home or in
the classroom, you can find these Hasbro favorites at your
local Walmart. Or simply tap the link in today's show
notes to discover more ways to learn through play. And
we're super grateful for this partnership with Hasbro and Walmart
and these fun moments where we're getting to send or
(54:01):
be a part of. I guess we're just the liaison
of these gift cards to people. If you have a
teacher you would like to highlight for this Hasbro moment,
you can email us. hey, they're at feelingthingspodcast.com. And you
can also call 877-207-2077. Whether you're calling about that, or
(54:21):
you've got a question for couch talks, or you've got insight.
We've heard from people before, and that's one of the
coolest things I guess I would have to say about
our listeners coming together is when they have commented on
a previous listener's couch talks question or something else that
(54:45):
we've shared. And then there's been some like back and forth.
And again, we're the liaison, like we're the, we're the
connector of like, y'all are sitting wherever you are in traffic.
Or if you're on a walk or you're doing stuff
around the house or you're on your lunch break at work,
whenever you're listening to us, y'all are spread out all around.
And the one thing is that we, when we connect
(55:08):
that way, we get to bring y'all together and like
y'all can send notes to each other through us and
then we'll read it or play the voicemail or whatever.
But that's been one of the coolest things, even dating
back to the fifth thing back in the day, how
we used to do that. And people would touch and
people are listening to podcasts at such different times. They'd
be like, I'm finally listening to this one episode. And
I just saw one of the listener's Tina, you know,
(55:31):
it's always Tina. It's always my go-to. And I just
had to say, I had this one experience if you
could pass it along. So stuff like that, we love.
And we have something like that coming up in this
week's Couch Talks on Thursday too, where we got, we
have a cool voicemail from a listener that's reaching out
to something else the listener wrote in about.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
Especially when it's like giving feedback to listeners who are
asking for it. We don't have always the answers.
Speaker 3 (55:58):
Or the life experience. Yes.
Speaker 2 (55:59):
And so I think that's actually really helpful. If you
relate to something, you could say something better than we could.
Speaker 3 (56:07):
Which I would say, I feel like for this week's
Couch Talks in a couple of days for Thursday, I
feel like that's a perfect example of that. There's wisdom
being delivered because of a life experience that Kat and
I haven't gone through. So we wouldn't have thought to
share that.
Speaker 2 (56:23):
We both were like, that's good.
Speaker 3 (56:25):
That's so good. And I think that the listener kind
of thought it was just meh or okay, or just like, hey,
I just want to pass this along. Like it's not
a big thing. So that is really, really cool. If
you're ever listening to us tell stories or talk about
something and it resonates with you, share it with us.
That's what Kat and I want this space to be about.
This connection, like why we're doing this podcast, this community
(56:48):
of like... We want it to be like we're sitting
around a table with y'all playing jingo pulling questions. But
we don't have that luxury of all of us being
in one place. But when y'all email in or leave
a voicemail, that's participating in the process. So we're super
grateful for that. Because it's not lost on us that
(57:09):
for some of you it might be weird to email
a podcast or leave a voicemail. But it's not weird.
Speaker 2 (57:15):
It's not weird.
Speaker 4 (57:15):
It's cool.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
So thank you to Hasbro. Thank you to Walmart. And thanks, Kat,
for keeping us in love. You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (57:24):
Thanks, Neuroscience Talk.
Speaker 3 (57:26):
At least five things for sure we need to do,
aka seven, to stay in love. And then don't forget
the whimsy tip of the week from Anna Voss. Make
yourself a ticket and invite yourself to a great day.
And we hope wherever you are, you have the day
you need to have.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
Bye. Bye. Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Bobby Bones
Amy Brown
Lunchbox
Eddie Garcia
Raymundo
Mike D
Abby Anderson
Scuba Steve
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