March 6, 2026 • 44 mins
In this episode we finally get to hear about Ray's trip to Jamaica! Ray talks about his time at the dive bar with the locals to buying a tree that his wife wanted for their time on the island. Also the stress Ray endured thanks to trying to hide the tree in the hotel room and Ray has a new love for Red Stripe Light. Plus many more stories of relaxation and a breakdown of every drink consumed on the island of Jamaica! A few days early but Stories From Jamaica has arrived!!!!! Get ready to meet Teddy Bear who became Ray's best friend in Jamaica.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I started it. Good man, Hey, this is it. Guys.
We're headed down to Jamaica. Man, oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
We have been waiting for this for weeks, days, months,
and we are finally gonna hear about Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Mon, Jamaica, you're Jamaican me crazy? After the break?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
No, no, we're not taking We've been doing it for
twenty six seconds. We're not telling to tease. We're not
doing a break. But before we get to Jamaica, I
mean I need to know like going into Jamaica, Like
I need to know the process of Jamaica, getting to Jamaica.
I need to feel what it's like to leave American
soil and touch down in Jamaica. I need to know, like,
(00:50):
do you have an early flight so right when you
get in you can see the beautiful beaches, the sun
is still shining. Is it a nighttime flight? So you
have to wait to enjoy Jamaica till the next day?
This I need to set the scene in this first
you know, little segment, I would say, instead of dropping
right into the Jamaica story, I need to know how
we got there.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I want to set the mood. Yeahn mon, they have land,
trees and sun just like us. No third world country, Ray,
how poor really are they? That's not what I'm saying.
I got you. We hit the airport late. Oh you
gotta you see this all right, I'm telling you now.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
No, We'll start the show and then we got to
get into it. Like then I want to know, like,
bags packed early? Are you panic packing?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
What am I? That's a stupid question.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
That's a dumb question, cause you're already freaking out about
other things.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Ray, Is it a rush like a kidnapping? No? No, no, no, dude,
just packing for an airport man.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
No, because me, I panic pack and I packed like
an hour before my flight. That sounds kinky, Like I
just my time management skills are not the best. And
we've talked about it on this pod, like when we're
planning coaches conventions, I'm always like, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Gonna get it done. I'm gonna get it done. We're
gonna get it done early, early, early, early.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
And then hasn't really happened that way. So that's what
I was referring to. But let's just start the show
and then I'll explain we're.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Gonna do it live. We oh the one two three
sore losers, fum Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
What's up, everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most
about sports.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Suck.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Give it the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm
pretty much a sports genius, y'all.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
It says, and I'm from the North with this show,
I'm from Jamaica. Min and I got landmine two point
three through the three acres Mine I lived with my
wife Mon. Justin is supposed to be looking after our
kid Mon at Vanderbilt Man, but Justin moved to Michigan
Men for the foreseeable future Man, which is thousands of
miles away from Jamaica and thousands of miles away from
(02:59):
nash Tennessee. Mon. Over to you, Mon, but probably then
back to me. Mon.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah, So as you're headed out for Jamaica, are you packed?
Days in advanced?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
The Beazer is because she works from home and she's
able to do that. Oh, pack a hat one day,
bra the next, panies thong, you know, so she's me.
I would almost say, what is it? What'd you call it?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Panic packing?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Kinky panic? Nope, Nope, panic packing? So like, yeah, I'll
like kind of foreplay like choke myself in panic and
then pack that hour before. Okay, I'm similar to you.
I'm doing laundry at two am in the morning if
we're leaving at five like you. That's how I pack.
And my wife hates it.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
It drives her nuts that I just am like, ah,
you know, I'll get ready. We've got to be at
the airport in three hours. I'm like, yeah, so that's
putty of time to do two loads of laundry. Figure
out what I need, put it in a suitcase, and
we can roll it to the airport. That drives her insane.
So you aren't panic your panic packing veyas packed? Do
(04:02):
you bring sunscreen or do you buy sunscreen?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Fully loaded? Used about one bottle of the ten. So
remember that, guys, for the cruise and for the next convention,
you don't need all the sunscreen you're gonna pack.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Okay, And so how are you going airport? Is Phil
taking you? Are you driving? Leaving your vehicle?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
You ubering? What's the plan getting to the airport? Bring
our vehicle and VIP park where you park right next
to the airport. Rich, Rich don't ever let Baser do
it because there's no turnback. Once you give a street
cat satin sheets, they never go back to the street.
We learned that if you take an uber, it's just awkward,
(04:42):
and that's not how you want to come back to
America their exit or entrance. And then also when you
park there, you realize you still pay eighteen a day.
If you VIP, it's twenty eight. It's ten dollars more
a day for VIP. They warm your car, they wash
the thing. Heck, god, the guy farts in the seat
before you get there. It's great. You get off the
(05:04):
airplane and your car's waiting for you.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
It is pretty fantastic. I used to do one of
those services, you park off property, and we had a
deal with the station here in one of the companies,
and so they would wash your car and they would
have it started and they would shuttle would pick you up,
drive you right to your car. Boom, You're in and
out in five minutes. Placement, belly up. It's no longer there.
(05:30):
So now I just pay the outrageous prices that it
costs to park at the freaking airport.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Well, you know who taught me that, coach Ah He said, Hey, dude,
nobody knows about it. You can park right there and
you live like a celebrity. And it's not very expensive.
I did it one time when I was going to Florida.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
My family was already down there and we were working
and we were gonna be.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Sit Friday and Saturday Sunday.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I was going after the show Friday, and I mean
I had a flight at one point thirty and we
were at the building till twelve thirty and I had
to get on the airplane. The plane was leaving Nashville
in one hour from when we said, okay, everybody have
a good weekend. And I drove so fast to the airport,
like I mean so fast. No, no, no, there was
(06:17):
a fire truck. I hit the fire truck.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Well it's this thing. Oh never mind, we don't need that.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
There was a fire truck with its lights on, and
I was passing it on the highway because I did
not want to miss my plane. And I said, that
is a bad sign. When I'm driving that fast to
get to the airport.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Why'd you pass me? Why'd you get it? Give me
a ticket? I don't know. You passed a fire truck
with its lights on.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
And I pulled up to this VIP You got me,
this VIP thing that you are talking about, and I said, hey, man,
I need a ticket. I need a ticket. He said, oh, sir,
you got to wait in line. You know what I mean,
there's two cars in front of you. I said, Man,
I'm gonna miss my flight. He goes, sorry, Man, I said,
I'll just leave the car the keys on the seat.
(07:07):
Do you really want to just leave your car there
with the keys on the seat.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I was like, yeah, I'll just find it when I
get back fin to find out. I'll just find it
when I get back pull up. He goes, you think
it's gonna be just that easy. We'll just be able
to find the car where the guy didn't take a ticket.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Dude, you argue with everybody. I don't even say but
one word to the VIP person keys high see us Sunday.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I was in such a hurry that I was gonna
miss the flight that I was just gonna leave the keys,
not even get a ticket, and figure.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
It out when I got back fin to find out.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
And then I pulled out a ten dollar bill or
twenty dollars bill, and he goes, oh, here's your ticket
right now. Boom made the flight, but go ahead, so
you're gonna park it VIP.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Sorry, we're not even out of the airport. Dude, I
know this Jamaican story is gonna be a two parter.
So you go and right you go to day d No, No,
are you.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Flying out in the morning or the evening the afternoon?
What time are you leaving Nashville?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
This trip was so long ago. Let me go back
in my head. I believe it's always early flights. So yes,
it was wee hours of the morning. We probably left
at six am, thank you.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I just want to know what it's going to be
like when we get to Jamaica. Is it going to
be daytime?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Well, that's the problem. It was gonna be where we
could sneak in one hour of sunlight. Well, in Florida,
because we had connecting flights, we hit a bird. We
had to return back to Orlando or Miami or Fort Lauderdale,
one of the three, don't know, had about three times
that many drinks, and so then we were delayed and
we didn't get in probably till ten pm. No, so
(08:32):
we couldn't squeeze in the hour of sunlight and we
couldn't even do a dinner mon So that's also where
we got the pro tip that sometimes you go a
day before your reservation, cause you still get charged for
that day. Oh mon, that's rough. Mon. Oh I'm only
there for five bangers, so we almost got four and
a half. I had no idea that there was travel
(08:52):
delays because of birds, that's what he said. He said,
because of it maybe blocking the engine that we had
to turn around. And so then you go back to
the airport and of course on body and drinks. How
many can you squeeze in? I told Bazer minimum an
hour and a half. They fixing like forty minutes. I
was still at the bar. I ran back onto the
flight as it was basically pulling off. Been there, Been there?
(09:15):
I said, Uh, well, first of all, reception isn't good
in the airport, and never got your texts, and holy crap,
did not know mister Coxter here that that pilot was
gonna be able to fix an engine with a seagull
in it in forty minutes. Props to him. Hey, oh,
where's my seat? Oh it's not reserve. Still this is
actually before the fact when you could have a reserve seat.
Now it was fill in. Maybe got lucky sat next
(09:37):
to it. Nobody sat in the front seats because it
was a bigger dude. Ah, So we sat next to
a bigger dude and he was a recovering alcoholic. I said,
I'm in recovery too, gambling addict, and he goes, here's
my drink tickets. So the whole time we're body and
drinks right next to this guy recovering from it. Wow,
and he was doing Discord. He was on some crazy
wacky stuff on his Internet. But we got great seats
(10:00):
and two drink tickets all because we sat next to
the big dude. What was he head to Jamaica for?
He wasn't going to Jamaica, so that actually might have
been the flight to floridakank got it. I was gonna
say that dude did not go to Jamaica with us.
He was, Uh, it would have been burnt like a crab. Dude.
That guy got off in Florida at some Discord convention.
(10:20):
He be a beached whale. You know what now that
you bring it up. He wasn't going to cho Rio.
He hadn't seen the sun in like two years. He
wasn't going to montegobeimn all right mine? Oh none?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Oh that's funny. Mone So you get to Jamaica. Tell
me about getting Jamaica. What's it feel like?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Is it hot? Is it like?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Tell me about Jamaica. What's the everybody friendly? Right when
you get off the plane, Hey, welcome to Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Mon, come on, I believe we're in the vicinity of
about ten drinks each at that point. I remember getting
off the plane and this dude was talking my ear
off and he was telling me about this Negrill, Gotta
go to Nogrill. He had like his sorority daughter and
fraternity son next to him, his wife. It almost looked
like the people from the show That's Amazing where they're
(11:10):
in Europe and they go to Taiwan and it's my
favorite show, White Lotus. Yeah, it was exactly like that family. Okay,
And so he's guy's going crazy, looks like a stock trader.
The wife looks stressed out and she's on pills maybe,
and but he goes, got to go to Negril. It's amazing.
I go, well, we're actually going to Ocho Rio, so
we're not even going into Garril, but he's still pitching
me on Nogrill. I guess like we got to check
(11:32):
out Negril next time. So remember that. And then immediately
once we get through whatever you're going through customs, there's
a BMW waiting to pick us up, basically with a
bow on it, and the guys were in a Santa hat.
Let's go. I got the pick on the gram. I
can't wait. And so that's it that we did. You
could have paid I want to say, one hundred dollars
(11:53):
for a bus with twenty other sweaty Americans now or
one hundred and fifty for a VIP be what happened
to be a bm W carr, I'll do that. Yeah,
And so dude is amazing, except for Baser gets with
emotional with the dude because he's away from his family
on Christmas. It was Christmas Day. Oh, and so basic was,
I'm so sorry you have to drive us, Laura, Baser,
(12:16):
it's his job. Let him and he goes, yeah, I'm
just happy to make money. That's awesome, and she was,
I'm so sorry we're taking you away from your family, Baser,
it's his job. And so I'm sure we tipped the
dude forty dollars after we had already paid him like
one hundred and fifty. So you paid extra for the
parking at the airport. You paid extra for the transportation.
You are rich, rich, okay, but we save up for this.
(12:36):
We don't go on vacation on the cheap. If we
do it, we've already put an entire five paychecks towards it.
We get it. You're like, you're trying to be like
Joe from Sarasota. I get it.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I understand trying to impress your hot young wife.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I got it. And it's also one of those things
that there was no gambling there, so and you weren't
allowed to tip there. Oh yeah, it was some resorts.
How terrible. Well, because some resorts it's a known Oh
you gotta tip the maids or the cleaning people. You
got to tip the bar guy, the bar keep, the
bar back, the restaurant person at your table at breakfast,
two dollars, person that turns down your bed two dollars.
(13:10):
This one. They said no tipping or people get fired.
So we still bring five hundred because we're gonna tip
people on the slide, you know. Yeah, and so the
obviously a BMW guy boom, You've just want it. You've
been blessed, you've been sided. And so two minutes outside
the airport, were stopping getting some tree. He stopped just
for a minute, comes back with an entire shrub. We're
(13:32):
never gonna burn through all that. Maybe all we need
is a leaf, you know what I mean? Got it
and so got it on. Like we've already made two
terrible bit money decisions. We give this dude a forty
dollars tip when he's already getting paid. Look at him.
He's driving a better vehicle than us in America. Like, seriously,
the dude was driving up beams a BM dumbs dirt
(13:56):
was it a no, it wasn't it? Bends is a
BMW and the baser I drive a trailblazer from twenty
years ago. Good gosh, you don't have to tip the man.
And he was an absolute blast and a vibe. But
it's dark, so we're not really able to see. You
can see some lights up in the hills. That is
what Jamaica is cool for. You can see the hills,
you can see the shanties, you can see the third
(14:18):
world country where in Costa Rica you can see that too.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I would say I'm staying out of Costa Rica, man,
surfer dude, Uh.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Huh, but uh, Places like Aruba and what's in a
Turks and Caicos and Dominican Republic. There's no hills, so
you're just seeing flat at night. You're not gonna see
anything this. You're seeing the lights, you're seeing what makes it.
You know, you're seeing a family, you see bolt, you saying, yeah,
seeing flags they're proud of Jamaica there. But yeah, so
you're seeing some stuff thanks to the hills. But it's
(14:46):
about an hour and a half drive from this airport.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Oh my gosh, I'm passing out.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And I still don't even know what airport we flew into.
Either it was Montego Bay or Ocho Rio, because Ocho
Rio is right next to where we're at, so I'm
pretty sure we flew into Montego Bay. That's why the
flight or the drive was an hour and a half.
And the guy at the pool, I'd already told that story,
remember his wife, Yeah, very attractive, massive mountain range. They
(15:11):
were hammered left the rolexes at the pool. I kept
telling the guy that we flew into Ocho Rea, and
I told him our our drive was an hour and
a half. He probably thought I was crazy because it's
probably it's like a five minute drive.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, he probably thought this dude done.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I told in dude the wrong airport for an entire
conversation of five hours. It happens.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Man, you're not supposed to know. You're not you're not
Jamaica familiar. You know, you're new.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
He goes what you went to? You went to Ocho Rio. Yeah, yeah,
we flew in there. Huh. Yeah, it was an hour
and a half drive. You went to Ocho Rea. Yeah,
you know, mamboo up top, open wide air, you know,
not a lot of flights. Yeah, yeah, we got to
take a break. But that guy was so confused. We're
still in the car driving to the resort and we
(15:52):
haven't got to the resort yet. We're at the resort.
We just got there. We just got there, and they
just walking with open arms or what we did? Make
one more pitstock, let me hear it. Bazer didn't know
how to properly plant the tree, got it? So that
guy helped plant the tree while I went to this
little dive bar all by myself with American money and
there's ten people at the bar look at me like
(16:14):
we hate American. Oh so I didn't the love from Jamaica,
does it happen till you get to the resort up
until then, it's a crowd that knows like three words,
we hate American. I roll up to this bar, hot,
I got American money, I want some drink, I want
some red stripe. I have eight eyes looking at me,
(16:36):
and all of them are saying we hate American. They're
not your best friend.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Huh No, you were Wait, host, so you're telling me
you were walking in thinking sits in ray Boondamon, that's
what you were thinking. You were thinking it was gonna
be open arms, arms.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Wide open, and what's that song with arms? What open?
The love Mone was in the BMW when we got
picked up. The love Mone is at the resort, Mon.
But when I was at the dive bar Mone, just
trying to get a red strip. Man, they probably overcharged
me twenty dollars because I think I gave them a
twenty and it was like a dollar beer there because
(17:13):
their prices are really cheap. Yeah, and it didn't get
money back and then yeah, yeah, yeah, they weren't very
kind to me there. Oh that's unfortunate, and that was
really my first I'm in Jamaica, mon Oh, I hate mon.
Bob Marley man, hey, you was same boltmn we hate
American Oh like you walked in and then the er
(17:35):
the music stopped. Yes, and so then then we got
out of there, got into BMW. Everything was properly planted
and we were ready ahead of the resort.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Baby, I love it when you pull the resort. Is
there a gait?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I saw it on the way out, not on the
way in. Things were a little blurry. I'm in and
out of consciousness. Got it not really that intense, but
I things are a little fuzzy. Okay, there wasn't a gait.
Saw it on the way out, but yeah, we roll
up and it's just it's beautiful. The Christmas lights. There's presents,
Christmas trees lining the row, and there's a huge soldier,
(18:11):
a Christmas soldier from oh you know, from all the
stories that we used to read as kids. They made
us feel like it was a tropical Christmas the minute
we were there. We're at the resort. We need to
take a break down.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
When we're gonna go to the front desk, we're gonna
check in. We're gonna come back and tell you the
rest of Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
The rest of the story is where we're gonna meet
after the break, Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear after this. So anyways,
this teddy Bear character, So we had actually landed and
airported and taxied and got all the way to the
(18:54):
resort and what do we need a nightcap? So you're
talking espresso Martini's, and we didn't know precisely where the
location was where you could go get those nice resort
but it's not really signs. They try to make it
look all sexy. So we're just kind of looking around
when the corner, this dude comes out and he goes, hey,
(19:14):
are you guys looking for Espress with martiniz Mon. We go, well, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we are, and he goes, I know min in this
really nice place. Man, it's just right around the corner.
I'll show you. Man. And I said, thank you so much, sir.
What is your name? And he goes, what teddy Bear? Man,
what are you doing? I started, why, you idiot? I
(19:35):
only did thirty seconds, you idiot. You didn't miss anything.
I'm did thirty Now I'm all thrown off. Man. I
did thirty seconds, mon, But why would you do that? Mon?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I was sitting there just waiting for you, and I
heard you do your whistle. But I thought that means
you were getting a drink doing something. And I look
in here and he's talking about Teddy Bear.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I did it to piss you off. Nah, you do
piss me off? Man just confused me. More like it.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Like there's no I'm not angry. I'm just like, huh so,
uh yeah, I will go. I guess I'll just yeah,
how long we been doing this now?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Twenty twenty, twenty twenty hell of the documentary?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Ray, I don't even know one forty oh my god?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Whatever? So why not just say, hey, lunch, I'm ready? Man?
Is this exact reason to piss you off? No? No, No,
do I sound pissed off? No? I just did it
to see how long I could tell the story before
you came in here.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
I was just like, man, Ray went to the bathroom,
and it's been gone a while. I guess I'll wander
down there and see if he's back.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Oh, he's already talking. It's in use, the mics are on,
and I did it to show the listeners that I
could do a show without you. Oh so for forty seconds.
They learned that. That's pretty impressive. That's pretty impressive.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
So are you gonna reekapit or am I just gonna
have to catch up?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Dimly lit resort. It was nine pm and we needed
a night cap. We wanted an espresso Martini. Out of
the corner comes this guy, Teddy bear Man, I'll show
you where espresso Martinis Armand did he work at the
hotel or was he a guest? Yes? Had the name tag,
white shirt pants. And so we go to the espresso
bar and it's kind of hidden bookshelves and all that.
(21:22):
We would have never found it.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Wait, wait, wait, there's a special bar for no spress.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, Espresso martiniz Expresso Martinis. Got it. But remember you
can't tip these people. So we get there and me
and Baser combined have probably put enough drinks down to
float a boat, but we're still feeling pretty good. We
remember it all, you know, I'm just saying, but if
you think about it, heavy travel day, heavy drinking. Yeah,
and we got the free drinks on the flight from
(21:49):
that dude that was a recovery.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Right, that was doing his sheets.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
And so we go to this Espresso Martini bar and
what do you think Baser is already doing the tipping. Hey,
I'm I'm bartender. You were so amazing here here. I
know you guys can't take tips. I'm gonna slip you this.
So she slips the bartender forty dollars Teddy Bear. We
don't know precisely the exact amount, but between one hundred
(22:15):
and one hundred and fifty dollars. We tipped Teddy Bear
for showing you where the bar is. Have you ever
met us when we're drunk. We're the nicest people in
the world. And Payser thinks that everybody's buller, Sir, this
kid probably has a condo and he was so nice.
(22:37):
How far did he walk you? Like two stairs us
to the Bobby Boncho studio. Oh my gosh. But it
was a greate espresso martini. And so we wake up
the next morning we thought we got robbed. We realized
we tipped Teddy somewhere between north of one hundred and
(22:58):
south of two hundred, and that is where the story starts.
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
So I'm assuming that Teddy Bear, after that tip is
gonna be in your hip pocket all weekend, all week.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
So over the next four days, if we were at
a brunch, oh hey, Teddy Bear, if we were at
a pool, Hey, teddy Bear, how have you guys been
doing mine? Good man? Good mon? Hey, I have my
dj tonight, mon. Would you want to swing by and
listen to my music? Man? Maybe maybe we will after dinner. Hey, man,
(23:37):
Remember I'm DJing tonight. Man, I'll see you guys later. Thanks,
min Yeah, just let me know the following morning. Oh. Sorry,
we didn't come, dude, it was late at night. It
didn't come. It's okay, man. Later on today, Mon, we're
putting together skid out here in the plaza. You should
come by and see. Man. I'll be one of the dancers. Okay.
Oh that sounds good, Thank you. Teddy Bear. Yeah, Man,
(23:59):
no worries. Man. If it was a pool, if it
was a brunch, if it was a after dinner, if
it was just walking around Teddy Bear, teddy Bear. Oh hey,
teddy Bear, teddy Bear, teddy Bear, teddy Bear. That leads
me to the climax of teddy Bear. So why is
(24:20):
teddy Bear being nice to it? Like? Why why? Because
you chipped him so much money? Get in here, Scooba.
I'm only in the middle of a Jamaica story, Teddy Bear. Man,
Teddy Bear spots But then you remember there's mentions in
the podcast too, got it. I don't know where you're doing.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll talk about that. Man, this
we're in Jamaica. Mon, they won't be able to make
it to Demolition Derby. Yeah, Demolition Derby. You know we're
the week of two twenty three.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
All right, we got it.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
It's gonna be in Shelby Built, Tennessee, March eighth at
Cooper Steele Arena.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Come see me.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
If you're in Jamaica right now, You're not gonna be
able to get there, but hey, come on.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Let's do it. So are we taking a breaker? I can?
I can roll real now, you can.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Roll real quick.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
So the final pool day, I mean, Teddy Bear has
been there for everything. I would say shy of being
in the bedroom with us for naughty time. He has
seen us do everything. He has been on every pool
chair with us, He's been on every inflatable. Will be
actually in the water and he's hanging over the edge.
Teddy Bear was a threesome. We were a thrupple with
(25:26):
Teddy Bear the entire trap. Come to the last day.
Why is Teddy Bear being so nice to us? Why?
Because the big tip that's one of them. But then also,
and that's obviously not the answer. I know you want
to know it. No, No, I know that. Why is
he being so nice to us? It's not the money.
(25:47):
I tricked you. That's how a good host tricks you.
That was really not because of the money. This is
a good crime pocket. It's like a plot twist.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
And so I'm gonna say he was really nice to
you because he thought you like to cluck.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
No incorrect answer. So the final pool day, I'm severely hungover,
but I'm still drinking. Naturally, it's a vacation yet, and
so they're bringing red stripe lights. We were doing these
mud slides. Baser probably did a Bob Marley at one point.
There was a blue drink that I told you about,
the Coral blue. We're mixing all these. I'm so hungover.
I'm trying to check NFL scores. It was on Sunday.
(26:21):
I mean, I'm shaking. I can barely pull up Oh,
Patriots are winning again. Okay, got Oh, Titans are down
by fifty got it. I can barely scroll my phone,
much less do the request that Teddy Bear was about
to come up with. Teddy Bear rolls over. Oh on,
So it's okay, don't worry. You didn't come to any
DJ set of mine over the last four.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Days, even though I invite you bond, mone, I invite
you this, I invite you that you don't come to nothing.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Mone I thought we friends mon every night at elevep
hit a DJ set. We never went once, got invited
two hundred times. So you could have seen the next
dead mouse. And you have no idea. Teddy was on
the sacks of wax every night at the Whiskey Club,
and it was always raging till two. I tell Teddy,
we really really don't stay out late. But Teddy, Man,
(27:05):
it's okay, Man, don't even worry about it. Man. Hey,
let me ask you this one favor. Mon. So if
you go on Man, if you go on trip Advisor,
Man there, Man, you can fill out Man that I
was good to you. Man. You can say, how oh
Teddy bear Man at this resort. Make sure you name
the resort Man was exceptional. Man. Man, If you do
(27:26):
this for me, Mon, you just say Teddy Barra Man
Dun's river Mon. Then Man, that's how we get promotions. Man.
If we get enough Trip Advisor good comments and positive feedback.
Mane that's how you go level up, man. So you
guys would help me level up man. So he wants
(27:48):
us to do these Yelp and trip Advisor things. Ah,
so aforementioned bro, I'm shaking so bad. I couldn't even
pull up X and be like Teddy Bear said, into
the world, I'm shaking so bad, and so Baser bless
her soul. She has to with decent Wi Fi, has
to download trip Advisor, she has to download Yelp, she
(28:10):
has to download Google Messenger comment on trips, and she
has to fill out one hundred and forty characters. So
say you say Teddy Bear was comfortable and just a
big old teddy Bear. That's like twenty Baser had to
write four paragraphs on every one of these apps for
(28:31):
this dude. Sometimes she would run out it. She'd be
at one hundred and she'd just do a bunch of
emoji smiley faces. I go, Baser, bless your soul, because
I can't even function right now to get on my
phone right now in this tropical paradise because I'm recovering. Okay,
I'm actually gonna give up drinking because holy crap, the
effects are brutal but besery for an hour and a half,
(28:52):
probably at the pool on our final day. Teddy Bear
is on our lily pad and our pool bed that
we paid one hundred and fifty dollars for, camped out
the entire afternoon waiting for Baser to do all these
comments and all these different apps and stuff. Oh my gosh,
So that could be the end of the story.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Oh I thought that was it. I thought, Okay, he's
got proof, he's gonna leave you alone.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
The end of the story really is, don't ever tip
these people when they say not to tip, because holy crap,
that got annoying talking to teddy Bear every single time
of the day if regardless of where the sun was
in the sky, teddy Bear was twenty feet away from us.
And did she do them a favor. Yes, they can
also get in trouble for it at these resorts. And
(29:37):
she snuck the bartender twenty So hopefully that espresso bartender
never got fired. Hopefully teddy Bear never got fired. And
that's the lesson there. But all that to say this,
I think teddy Bear actually did get fired because so
Baser filled it all that stuff, did all the comments.
Whatever we did this stuff for him, and then we
finally got rid of him. Well, he comes over and
(29:59):
he gives me a shotglass. It says Jamaica on it.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, and it said teddy Bear's last day.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I go, thank you, teddy Bear, thank you so much.
This is no lie. This is a dead god's on
his true story. I take this shotglass and we wanted
to go play Bingo. Why not do a pool side Bingo?
Why not we go over there? You couldn't the universe
couldn't have written this up any better. The host of Bingo,
what is his name? Teddy Bear? The host of Bingo's
(30:26):
name is Ray. Oh, and so when we all introduced
each other, who do you think he's gonna know and
look at and be the most memorable Ray the guy
that has the same name as him, Ray correct. So
the entire time he's saying Ray this, Ray that, Oh, Ray,
how are you doing? Ray? Well? I took the shot
glass that Teddy Bear had given Slash stolen and he goes, Ray,
(30:47):
how did you get that shotglass? We haven't even played
the game yet, and I go, I got it from
teddy Bear. Teddy Bear came over and we were like
helping him out and he's like, here you go, here's
a free shotglass. The only reason he gave a crap
about me is because my name was Ray. In this
universe where the host names Ray and teddy Bear stole
(31:08):
a shotglass and gave it to me. It was the
same shotglass that they gave at Bingo if you won.
I learned that five minutes later when I won and
I said big go and Ray comes over and hands
me the same shotglass that teddy Bear had already stolen
for me. And it was then confirmed that teddy Bear
(31:31):
stole a shot glass to thank us for all the reviews.
But that stolen shotglass may have sealed his fate. So
I don't know if teddy Bear got the promotion and
leveled up or if teddy Bear got fired. And I
will hang up and listen. Wow, that is a story
from Jamaica, and that Jamaica shotglass, hot stolen piece of
(31:56):
merchandise is sitting on our table in Nashville, Tennessee. Right now.
That's dude.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
That's beautiful, dude. That was a great storytelling. That was
worth the wait. And we'll take a break.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
What's the time thirty two eight?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Man, do you have any more. You have one more
story from Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Told you about the tree when we landed?
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Yeah, you told us about the Uh yeah I could.
I could say that the how you got a strike
on the catamaran. You told that at the live pod.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Well then no, the tree. I can tell you about
the tree, just because I had alluded to it earlier.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
So we had the tree that we had got five
minutes off again now for Jamaica plane because Bazer had
hurt seen on the movies about this tree. So we
got a Jamaican tree. Got it? Okay, So we got
the Jamaican tree. And I'm telling you, they brought me
an entire bushel that I could put in the front
of my house. It was that much. And I go, Baser,
I'm not particularly fond of tree. I probably won't even
touch the tree. I know you'll touch the tree like
(32:54):
one time, just to say that you did. So the
I'm carrying this app bush shrub that most people would
put in front of their house and I'm just having
to lug it around Jamaica. It was that much. Huh.
It wasn't a leaf, it wasn't a stem. It was
an absolute hedge that you see at the Georgia Stadium
between the hedges. Oh yeah, I know those, And so
(33:18):
what do you know? We bring it to our hotel
room and we're hiding this tree because it's so big.
And then why don't we just throw it in the trash?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
You ask, why don't you just throw in the trash?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Why? Dude, I'm the most paranoid person you know. I
would never want to risk getting caught and throwing this
tree in the trash. So every single morning and night,
we're shifting the tree. Sometimes we put it in here.
Sometimes we wonder, does that tree smell weird? Maybe we
should put on the patio. I'll put the tree on
the patio for a second. So the tree shifted from
(33:51):
the patio to one of my bags to that tree
is just too much in my backpack. I don't want
it in there. So the tree went to a suitcase.
The tree went to a drawer. What if we just
go to a trash can and put the tree in downstairs?
There's cameras. Why would I I'm not doing that. I'm paranoid.
I'm not gonna go put the tree in a trash.
I'm not putting it in my own trash man, you're
in Jamaica. So the final day comes and we still
(34:14):
have this freaking tree that Baser out of an entire
beautiful evergreen. She had one pie needle of got it.
Thanks Bazer, Glad we paid one hundred dollars for a
tree that we didn't even use to shade us but
for five minutes. And so the very final day, I
(34:35):
just left the tree in our trash can in our room.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
And we're nervous the whole time.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Well, and the reason we had to wait until March
eighth is because I had to wait and see if
we were gonna get seized or in trouble or get
fined by the hotel. We got all our money back,
We never got in trouble. All is good. So now
I can tell the story March eight about the tree
that we had in our room. That's why we had
to wait till March eighth. Wow, the government, local city
policeas they never came down on us. They may have
saw the t in the trash, knew that we were Americanos.
(35:03):
They didn't care. They forgave, They threw away the tree.
All is good.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I gotta be honest. I literally thought they loved trees.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
In Jamaica. They do, but I don't think you can
just outwardly have tree everywhere.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
I just assumed that Jamaica was a tree friendly environment,
and I mean that's just me maybe being ignorant.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I have no idea, but I just ohm on reggaemon.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
I thought that was the whole culture of Jamaica. I
don't know anything about Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Though hopefully I told you enough so now you do
know something about it. One more piece of advice. Yeah, please.
There was these did Jamaican rum. I was well. I
drank it over ice one night and it was god awful.
I'm not a rum drinker, but we met these dudes
from Chicago. They were very good friends, got it and
they said the rum was amazing. That to the point
(35:55):
that every day I may have told this already, that
every day they would hide their rum bottles. Every You
get a eight ounce rum bottle in your room after
the cleaning staff came through every day, really, so they
would hide the eight ounce bottle and they would smuggle
back eight eight ounce bottles back to Chicago because you
can't buy rum there or something.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
It's just a different type of rum. It tastes better.
Maybe fresh from the tree of Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
It's got awful. So the rum ain't worth smuggling back.
The tree is just too branchy. It ain't worth smuggling back.
So if you went in our room on the final day,
there was a trash can full of tree tree and
half drank rum, but it ain't worth bringing back.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
So yeah, man, So do you still talk to your
friends from Chicago? No, bees are really good friends.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
The mom actually almost looked like Nancy Guthrie. Oh, and
so she was really sweet and Bezer was friends with her.
And so their final breakfast. Uh, I hate that the
story includes me being hungover again, but I'm eating breakfast
and Baser goes, how were you guys? How are you?
How was Dun's River Falls? That was good? Oh my gosh,
(37:08):
how did you guys like you last night? The performance?
It was good. I didn't even barely talk to the
two guys that were really good friends or best friends. Yeah,
and their mom. I bought her it. I got her
a diet coke and that was it. I had maybe
two minutes of conversation with him. Baser act like it
was our grandmother that she was talking to. Huh, So
there our goodbye was me at the breakfast, say, look, yeah, great,
(37:30):
great meeting you guys. Enjoy Chicago. I don't care. I
will never talk to you again. Have a good one. Yeah,
they're there or they are left smuggling eight bottles of
mini rum.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Did you go BMW back to the airport? Did you
go to the beach at all? Like, is the beach
like right outside your thing?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah? Yeah, the beach was. I'm talking footsteps, that's how
we wanted it. Okay, south beach. It was almost south beach.
I would almost say fifty yards to the beach, oh,
which was a little too annoying to go do it. Yeah,
this one I could throw like Arnold could throw a
football and hit the water from where our pool was.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Okay, and he's got kind of a noodle arm, so.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
That's what I'm saying. But yeah, it was right there,
and no BMW. On the way back, we did a
van with a bunch of other people, and they were
very slow. So anytime we'd get off, okay, guys, hour
and a half ride, we're at the bathroom for we
got ten minutes here, guys. For eight of the minutes
I was waiting for the people with canes and wheelchairs
(38:31):
to get off the bus. Yeah, so that's probably why
you do private transfer. Yeah, that's cool. I'll just go
to the bathroom for one minute. I can. I'll pitch it. Yeah,
no worries, no worries, you know what I'm saying. Joking
a little bit, it'll cut off. I'll be back every time.
And then when we got off, we get off at
the airport. Here you go. I mean, not like we
(38:53):
were cutting it close, but we had about our forty
five until our flight, you know, us paranoid.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Oh my gosh, our forty five? Dude, how are you doing.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
The guy goes, all right, we are here at the airport.
You guys, thank you so much. Man, thank you for
coming to Jamaica. Mine enjoy it. Mine see you later. Man.
And we sit there and nobody's in a rush to
get off the bus, and where our seats are would
be very rude to cut in front of everybody, So
we just sit there and they just slowly get up
like they're at a DMV. I mean, they were in
(39:26):
no hurry to live life. You gotta respect it. But
good gosh, do a private transfer because I mean we're
sitting there ten minutes then getting their bags. Holy crap,
that process. I'm like, guys, give them a tip. Think
that the guy drove the bus for ten minutes. You
don't ear an hour and a half. You don't need
to talk. They're like, thank you so much. And then
(39:46):
where was that that we passed through? Okay, guys, get
your bag and get to the airport. The vacation's over.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
You're not gonna go visit that spot you just drove
by because it's over.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Did the hurricane when it came through? Did it hit
they clipped a little bit. Oh my, the guy lost
his house and you're asking him about him like it's
a tourist destination. Those houses that are half built was
that because of the hurricane? What I did notice is, dude,
it's bizarre construction there. You would see eighty percent of
the house of they're half built mansions. So they either
(40:18):
don't get the supplies or they run out of money.
Run out of money, they just leave it half built.
The entire drive and then the shacks and shanties that
you do see. They got the Jamaican flag up, proud
of their country. That's cool, man. Did you see where
Bolt lived? Anybody talk about Bolt. Yeah, I would bring
him up and there was no language barrier. They spoke English,
(40:41):
and they didn't really talk about Bob Marley and they
didn't really talk about Bolt. So there must be a
new up and comer we don't know about in Jamaica.
Sounds like a good trip, man, Teddy Bear. Though. That's
why I keep looking behind me, see if Teddy Bear
is there? Dude, I started flinching around this seconto last day.
He was every time we come down to Brunt, there's
(41:04):
Teddy Bear. Eh mon, how was your sleep? How do
you think it was, Teddy Bear? Just like any other sleep.
I put my head on the pillow, pulled the covers
over me, and slept just like I have the four
previous nights. Teddy Bear, Oh man, you guys have a
good brunch. What are you gonna do them on? Some
eggs and bacon? Yes, Teddybear, we're American. We don't do
any of the other stuff. We're gonna go strictly cut
(41:24):
and dry, the same thing we've gotten the four days previously. Ah, Man,
have you tried man the orange juice machine? Man? You
punch it down? Man on listen, Teddy Bear, we just
do the minute made. I don't need you to operate
this orange juice machine, even though it's pretty awesome. They
crush the oranges in front of you. Oh it is
straight from the orange.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
You would tell you a fresh squeezed orange juice game changer.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
That was actually one of the cooler things Teddy Bear
showed us. Other than that. Hey man, if you tried
the plantain, man it it's good mix. No, not Teddybear.
Like I said on day one, all we do is
eggs and baky and a little waki and then uh
maybe maybe some coffee and maybe a mimosa. That same
thing we've done the last four days, teddy Bear. Thank you,
(42:06):
Teddy Bear. Oh man, I'll see you guys later on.
Still looking behind him, see if teddy Bear is back there, dude,
I swear to God. During the convention, I thought Teddy
Bear was gonna come. That'd been awesome if Bazer invited
him on the low down low? Did I save a picture?
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Question? I got a question right, Jamaica, would you go
back out of ten?
Speaker 1 (42:30):
What are we talking, Jamaica? Is I go the same
the same exact resort? It was phenomenal. It was it
was tops right now because the people are so freaking nice.
The dive bar. Did they treat me bad? Yes, but dude,
they were actually so genuinely awesome. And obviously they you know,
they're kissing the ring. The one guy goes, dude, you
must be cool ass back in America, right, and I'm
(42:51):
like yeah, yeah, he's like, dude, you're freaking hilarious. Man.
You know. Then they're talking about it and they're like,
and then like, your chick back in America, she's like
the hottest. I'm like, yeah, she's like supermodel. They believe
whatever you tell them. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm on
a radio show and there, Oh you host it. I'm like,
I'll never hear it. Yeah, I'm the host of it.
They thought it was the host of a radio show
and my wife was a Victoria's Secret model.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
I'm gonna text my wife right now say hey, let's uh,
let's set uh, let's sit in Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Where are we at? Dude?
Speaker 2 (43:22):
That's good man, Hey.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Dude, what the heck have I been doing? Bro? I
don't know. I think that was a great pod. Dude.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I think you can wrap it, you can hit the button.
I don't know what they're not going to see the
picture right now. We'll just post on socials if we
have it. If we don't, we don't.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
The driver, Oh my, that's our driver. I don't know
if I got Teddy Bear though.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Oh, Beazer's got a picture of Teddy Bear.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
You would have. I wanted to play a sot of
you'd have just music.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Oh dude, that's beautiful. Oh no, no, no, let me see it.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
He going, he was doing fifty cent. I'm a pimp.
I'm on the street and I'm grinding on that butt.
But he would play the sacks to it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
They look at that, dude, you're not lying. You're right
on the beach.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yeah, we were right there. That's I can post a
couple of these. Then here's my people. Teddy Bear is
not in this, but these are the bros there. Oh
they're having a good time. We're chilling in the little
villa we had, the little day bed. They're kind of
smiling their butts off. Oh there, they're they're on cloud nine, dude.
They love life. Cloud nine. I mean, we gave grease
them all.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
So when you're not supposed to, let's get out of here.
Just stop it, man, that's great.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
There you go. There, pride in your country. Oh, they
got Jamaica flags everywhere, dude, that's pride in your country.
This guy had two on his shanty. That's legit. I
mean three.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
He's got one in the door, he does. How many
American flags you got at the house.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
We got one. If it was up to Baser, we'd
have about five more. Okay,
I started it. Good man, Hey, this is it. Guys.
We're headed down to Jamaica. Man, oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
We have been waiting for this for weeks, days, months,
and we are finally gonna hear about Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Mon, Jamaica, you're Jamaican me crazy? After the break?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
No, no, we're not taking We've been doing it for
twenty six seconds. We're not telling to tease. We're not
doing a break. But before we get to Jamaica, I
mean I need to know like going into Jamaica, Like
I need to know the process of Jamaica, getting to Jamaica.
I need to feel what it's like to leave American
soil and touch down in Jamaica. I need to know, like,
(00:50):
do you have an early flight so right when you
get in you can see the beautiful beaches, the sun
is still shining. Is it a nighttime flight? So you
have to wait to enjoy Jamaica till the next day?
This I need to set the scene in this first
you know, little segment, I would say, instead of dropping
right into the Jamaica story, I need to know how
we got there.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I want to set the mood. Yeahn mon, they have land,
trees and sun just like us. No third world country, Ray,
how poor really are they? That's not what I'm saying.
I got you. We hit the airport late. Oh you
gotta you see this all right, I'm telling you now.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
No, We'll start the show and then we got to
get into it. Like then I want to know, like,
bags packed early? Are you panic packing?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
What am I? That's a stupid question.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
That's a dumb question, cause you're already freaking out about
other things.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Ray, Is it a rush like a kidnapping? No? No, no, no, dude,
just packing for an airport man.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
No, because me, I panic pack and I packed like
an hour before my flight. That sounds kinky, Like I
just my time management skills are not the best. And
we've talked about it on this pod, like when we're
planning coaches conventions, I'm always like, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Gonna get it done. I'm gonna get it done. We're
gonna get it done early, early, early, early.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
And then hasn't really happened that way. So that's what
I was referring to. But let's just start the show
and then I'll explain we're.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Gonna do it live. We oh the one two three
sore losers, fum Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
What's up, everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most
about sports.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Suck.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Give it the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm
pretty much a sports genius, y'all.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
It says, and I'm from the North with this show,
I'm from Jamaica. Min and I got landmine two point
three through the three acres Mine I lived with my
wife Mon. Justin is supposed to be looking after our
kid Mon at Vanderbilt Man, but Justin moved to Michigan
Men for the foreseeable future Man, which is thousands of
miles away from Jamaica and thousands of miles away from
(02:59):
nash Tennessee. Mon. Over to you, Mon, but probably then
back to me. Mon.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah, So as you're headed out for Jamaica, are you packed?
Days in advanced?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
The Beazer is because she works from home and she's
able to do that. Oh, pack a hat one day,
bra the next, panies thong, you know, so she's me.
I would almost say, what is it? What'd you call it?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Panic packing?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Kinky panic? Nope, Nope, panic packing? So like, yeah, I'll
like kind of foreplay like choke myself in panic and
then pack that hour before. Okay, I'm similar to you.
I'm doing laundry at two am in the morning if
we're leaving at five like you. That's how I pack.
And my wife hates it.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
It drives her nuts that I just am like, ah,
you know, I'll get ready. We've got to be at
the airport in three hours. I'm like, yeah, so that's
putty of time to do two loads of laundry. Figure
out what I need, put it in a suitcase, and
we can roll it to the airport. That drives her insane.
So you aren't panic your panic packing veyas packed? Do
(04:02):
you bring sunscreen or do you buy sunscreen?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Fully loaded? Used about one bottle of the ten. So
remember that, guys, for the cruise and for the next convention,
you don't need all the sunscreen you're gonna pack.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Okay, And so how are you going airport? Is Phil
taking you? Are you driving? Leaving your vehicle?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
You ubering? What's the plan getting to the airport? Bring
our vehicle and VIP park where you park right next
to the airport. Rich, Rich don't ever let Baser do
it because there's no turnback. Once you give a street
cat satin sheets, they never go back to the street.
We learned that if you take an uber, it's just awkward,
(04:42):
and that's not how you want to come back to
America their exit or entrance. And then also when you
park there, you realize you still pay eighteen a day.
If you VIP, it's twenty eight. It's ten dollars more
a day for VIP. They warm your car, they wash
the thing. Heck, god, the guy farts in the seat
before you get there. It's great. You get off the
(05:04):
airplane and your car's waiting for you.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
It is pretty fantastic. I used to do one of
those services, you park off property, and we had a
deal with the station here in one of the companies,
and so they would wash your car and they would
have it started and they would shuttle would pick you up,
drive you right to your car. Boom, You're in and
out in five minutes. Placement, belly up. It's no longer there.
(05:30):
So now I just pay the outrageous prices that it
costs to park at the freaking airport.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Well, you know who taught me that, coach Ah He said, Hey, dude,
nobody knows about it. You can park right there and
you live like a celebrity. And it's not very expensive.
I did it one time when I was going to Florida.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
My family was already down there and we were working
and we were gonna be.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Sit Friday and Saturday Sunday.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I was going after the show Friday, and I mean
I had a flight at one point thirty and we
were at the building till twelve thirty and I had
to get on the airplane. The plane was leaving Nashville
in one hour from when we said, okay, everybody have
a good weekend. And I drove so fast to the airport,
like I mean so fast. No, no, no, there was
(06:17):
a fire truck. I hit the fire truck.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Well it's this thing. Oh never mind, we don't need that.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
There was a fire truck with its lights on, and
I was passing it on the highway because I did
not want to miss my plane. And I said, that
is a bad sign. When I'm driving that fast to
get to the airport.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Why'd you pass me? Why'd you get it? Give me
a ticket? I don't know. You passed a fire truck
with its lights on.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
And I pulled up to this VIP You got me,
this VIP thing that you are talking about, and I said, hey, man,
I need a ticket. I need a ticket. He said, oh, sir,
you got to wait in line. You know what I mean,
there's two cars in front of you. I said, Man,
I'm gonna miss my flight. He goes, sorry, Man, I said,
I'll just leave the car the keys on the seat.
(07:07):
Do you really want to just leave your car there
with the keys on the seat.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I was like, yeah, I'll just find it when I
get back fin to find out. I'll just find it
when I get back pull up. He goes, you think
it's gonna be just that easy. We'll just be able
to find the car where the guy didn't take a ticket.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Dude, you argue with everybody. I don't even say but
one word to the VIP person keys high see us Sunday.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I was in such a hurry that I was gonna
miss the flight that I was just gonna leave the keys,
not even get a ticket, and figure.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
It out when I got back fin to find out.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
And then I pulled out a ten dollar bill or
twenty dollars bill, and he goes, oh, here's your ticket
right now. Boom made the flight, but go ahead, so
you're gonna park it VIP.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Sorry, we're not even out of the airport. Dude, I
know this Jamaican story is gonna be a two parter.
So you go and right you go to day d No, No,
are you.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Flying out in the morning or the evening the afternoon?
What time are you leaving Nashville?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
This trip was so long ago. Let me go back
in my head. I believe it's always early flights. So yes,
it was wee hours of the morning. We probably left
at six am, thank you.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I just want to know what it's going to be
like when we get to Jamaica. Is it going to
be daytime?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Well, that's the problem. It was gonna be where we
could sneak in one hour of sunlight. Well, in Florida,
because we had connecting flights, we hit a bird. We
had to return back to Orlando or Miami or Fort Lauderdale,
one of the three, don't know, had about three times
that many drinks, and so then we were delayed and
we didn't get in probably till ten pm. No, so
(08:32):
we couldn't squeeze in the hour of sunlight and we
couldn't even do a dinner mon So that's also where
we got the pro tip that sometimes you go a
day before your reservation, cause you still get charged for
that day. Oh mon, that's rough. Mon. Oh I'm only
there for five bangers, so we almost got four and
a half. I had no idea that there was travel
(08:52):
delays because of birds, that's what he said. He said,
because of it maybe blocking the engine that we had
to turn around. And so then you go back to
the airport and of course on body and drinks. How
many can you squeeze in? I told Bazer minimum an
hour and a half. They fixing like forty minutes. I
was still at the bar. I ran back onto the
flight as it was basically pulling off. Been there, Been there?
(09:15):
I said, Uh, well, first of all, reception isn't good
in the airport, and never got your texts, and holy crap,
did not know mister Coxter here that that pilot was
gonna be able to fix an engine with a seagull
in it in forty minutes. Props to him. Hey, oh,
where's my seat? Oh it's not reserve. Still this is
actually before the fact when you could have a reserve seat.
Now it was fill in. Maybe got lucky sat next
(09:37):
to it. Nobody sat in the front seats because it
was a bigger dude. Ah, So we sat next to
a bigger dude and he was a recovering alcoholic. I said,
I'm in recovery too, gambling addict, and he goes, here's
my drink tickets. So the whole time we're body and
drinks right next to this guy recovering from it. Wow,
and he was doing Discord. He was on some crazy
wacky stuff on his Internet. But we got great seats
(10:00):
and two drink tickets all because we sat next to
the big dude. What was he head to Jamaica for?
He wasn't going to Jamaica, so that actually might have
been the flight to floridakank got it. I was gonna
say that dude did not go to Jamaica with us.
He was, Uh, it would have been burnt like a crab. Dude.
That guy got off in Florida at some Discord convention.
(10:20):
He be a beached whale. You know what now that
you bring it up. He wasn't going to cho Rio.
He hadn't seen the sun in like two years. He
wasn't going to montegobeimn all right mine? Oh none?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Oh that's funny. Mone So you get to Jamaica. Tell
me about getting Jamaica. What's it feel like?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Is it hot? Is it like?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Tell me about Jamaica. What's the everybody friendly? Right when
you get off the plane, Hey, welcome to Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Mon, come on, I believe we're in the vicinity of
about ten drinks each at that point. I remember getting
off the plane and this dude was talking my ear
off and he was telling me about this Negrill, Gotta
go to Nogrill. He had like his sorority daughter and
fraternity son next to him, his wife. It almost looked
like the people from the show That's Amazing where they're
(11:10):
in Europe and they go to Taiwan and it's my
favorite show, White Lotus. Yeah, it was exactly like that family. Okay,
And so he's guy's going crazy, looks like a stock trader.
The wife looks stressed out and she's on pills maybe,
and but he goes, got to go to Negril. It's amazing.
I go, well, we're actually going to Ocho Rio, so
we're not even going into Garril, but he's still pitching
me on Nogrill. I guess like we got to check
(11:32):
out Negril next time. So remember that. And then immediately
once we get through whatever you're going through customs, there's
a BMW waiting to pick us up, basically with a
bow on it, and the guys were in a Santa hat.
Let's go. I got the pick on the gram. I
can't wait. And so that's it that we did. You
could have paid I want to say, one hundred dollars
(11:53):
for a bus with twenty other sweaty Americans now or
one hundred and fifty for a VIP be what happened
to be a bm W carr, I'll do that. Yeah,
And so dude is amazing, except for Baser gets with
emotional with the dude because he's away from his family
on Christmas. It was Christmas Day. Oh, and so basic was,
I'm so sorry you have to drive us, Laura, Baser,
(12:16):
it's his job. Let him and he goes, yeah, I'm
just happy to make money. That's awesome, and she was,
I'm so sorry we're taking you away from your family, Baser,
it's his job. And so I'm sure we tipped the
dude forty dollars after we had already paid him like
one hundred and fifty. So you paid extra for the
parking at the airport. You paid extra for the transportation.
You are rich, rich, okay, but we save up for this.
(12:36):
We don't go on vacation on the cheap. If we
do it, we've already put an entire five paychecks towards it.
We get it. You're like, you're trying to be like
Joe from Sarasota. I get it.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I understand trying to impress your hot young wife.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I got it. And it's also one of those things
that there was no gambling there, so and you weren't
allowed to tip there. Oh yeah, it was some resorts.
How terrible. Well, because some resorts it's a known Oh
you gotta tip the maids or the cleaning people. You
got to tip the bar guy, the bar keep, the
bar back, the restaurant person at your table at breakfast,
two dollars, person that turns down your bed two dollars.
(13:10):
This one. They said no tipping or people get fired.
So we still bring five hundred because we're gonna tip
people on the slide, you know. Yeah, and so the
obviously a BMW guy boom, You've just want it. You've
been blessed, you've been sided. And so two minutes outside
the airport, were stopping getting some tree. He stopped just
for a minute, comes back with an entire shrub. We're
(13:32):
never gonna burn through all that. Maybe all we need
is a leaf, you know what I mean? Got it
and so got it on. Like we've already made two
terrible bit money decisions. We give this dude a forty
dollars tip when he's already getting paid. Look at him.
He's driving a better vehicle than us in America. Like, seriously,
the dude was driving up beams a BM dumbs dirt
(13:56):
was it a no, it wasn't it? Bends is a
BMW and the baser I drive a trailblazer from twenty
years ago. Good gosh, you don't have to tip the man.
And he was an absolute blast and a vibe. But
it's dark, so we're not really able to see. You
can see some lights up in the hills. That is
what Jamaica is cool for. You can see the hills,
you can see the shanties, you can see the third
(14:18):
world country where in Costa Rica you can see that too.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I would say I'm staying out of Costa Rica, man,
surfer dude, Uh.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Huh, but uh, Places like Aruba and what's in a
Turks and Caicos and Dominican Republic. There's no hills, so
you're just seeing flat at night. You're not gonna see
anything this. You're seeing the lights, you're seeing what makes it.
You know, you're seeing a family, you see bolt, you saying, yeah,
seeing flags they're proud of Jamaica there. But yeah, so
you're seeing some stuff thanks to the hills. But it's
(14:46):
about an hour and a half drive from this airport.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Oh my gosh, I'm passing out.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And I still don't even know what airport we flew into.
Either it was Montego Bay or Ocho Rio, because Ocho
Rio is right next to where we're at, so I'm
pretty sure we flew into Montego Bay. That's why the
flight or the drive was an hour and a half.
And the guy at the pool, I'd already told that story,
remember his wife, Yeah, very attractive, massive mountain range. They
(15:11):
were hammered left the rolexes at the pool. I kept
telling the guy that we flew into Ocho Rea, and
I told him our our drive was an hour and
a half. He probably thought I was crazy because it's
probably it's like a five minute drive.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, he probably thought this dude done.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I told in dude the wrong airport for an entire
conversation of five hours. It happens.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Man, you're not supposed to know. You're not you're not
Jamaica familiar. You know, you're new.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
He goes what you went to? You went to Ocho Rio. Yeah, yeah,
we flew in there. Huh. Yeah, it was an hour
and a half drive. You went to Ocho Rea. Yeah,
you know, mamboo up top, open wide air, you know,
not a lot of flights. Yeah, yeah, we got to
take a break. But that guy was so confused. We're
still in the car driving to the resort and we
(15:52):
haven't got to the resort yet. We're at the resort.
We just got there. We just got there, and they
just walking with open arms or what we did? Make
one more pitstock, let me hear it. Bazer didn't know
how to properly plant the tree, got it? So that
guy helped plant the tree while I went to this
little dive bar all by myself with American money and
there's ten people at the bar look at me like
(16:14):
we hate American. Oh so I didn't the love from Jamaica,
does it happen till you get to the resort up
until then, it's a crowd that knows like three words,
we hate American. I roll up to this bar, hot,
I got American money, I want some drink, I want
some red stripe. I have eight eyes looking at me,
(16:36):
and all of them are saying we hate American. They're
not your best friend.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Huh No, you were Wait, host, so you're telling me
you were walking in thinking sits in ray Boondamon, that's
what you were thinking. You were thinking it was gonna
be open arms, arms.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Wide open, and what's that song with arms? What open?
The love Mone was in the BMW when we got
picked up. The love Mone is at the resort, Mon.
But when I was at the dive bar Mone, just
trying to get a red strip. Man, they probably overcharged
me twenty dollars because I think I gave them a
twenty and it was like a dollar beer there because
(17:13):
their prices are really cheap. Yeah, and it didn't get
money back and then yeah, yeah, yeah, they weren't very
kind to me there. Oh that's unfortunate, and that was
really my first I'm in Jamaica, mon Oh, I hate mon.
Bob Marley man, hey, you was same boltmn we hate
American Oh like you walked in and then the er
(17:35):
the music stopped. Yes, and so then then we got
out of there, got into BMW. Everything was properly planted
and we were ready ahead of the resort.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Baby, I love it when you pull the resort. Is
there a gait?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I saw it on the way out, not on the
way in. Things were a little blurry. I'm in and
out of consciousness. Got it not really that intense, but
I things are a little fuzzy. Okay, there wasn't a gait.
Saw it on the way out, but yeah, we roll
up and it's just it's beautiful. The Christmas lights. There's presents,
Christmas trees lining the row, and there's a huge soldier,
(18:11):
a Christmas soldier from oh you know, from all the
stories that we used to read as kids. They made
us feel like it was a tropical Christmas the minute
we were there. We're at the resort. We need to
take a break down.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
When we're gonna go to the front desk, we're gonna
check in. We're gonna come back and tell you the
rest of Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
The rest of the story is where we're gonna meet
after the break, Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear after this. So anyways,
this teddy Bear character, So we had actually landed and
airported and taxied and got all the way to the
(18:54):
resort and what do we need a nightcap? So you're
talking espresso Martini's, and we didn't know precisely where the
location was where you could go get those nice resort
but it's not really signs. They try to make it
look all sexy. So we're just kind of looking around
when the corner, this dude comes out and he goes, hey,
(19:14):
are you guys looking for Espress with martiniz Mon. We go, well, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we are, and he goes, I know min in this
really nice place. Man, it's just right around the corner.
I'll show you. Man. And I said, thank you so much, sir.
What is your name? And he goes, what teddy Bear? Man,
what are you doing? I started, why, you idiot? I
(19:35):
only did thirty seconds, you idiot. You didn't miss anything.
I'm did thirty Now I'm all thrown off. Man. I
did thirty seconds, mon, But why would you do that? Mon?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I was sitting there just waiting for you, and I
heard you do your whistle. But I thought that means
you were getting a drink doing something. And I look
in here and he's talking about Teddy Bear.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I did it to piss you off. Nah, you do
piss me off? Man just confused me. More like it.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Like there's no I'm not angry. I'm just like, huh so,
uh yeah, I will go. I guess I'll just yeah,
how long we been doing this now?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Twenty twenty, twenty twenty hell of the documentary?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Ray, I don't even know one forty oh my god?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Whatever? So why not just say, hey, lunch, I'm ready? Man?
Is this exact reason to piss you off? No? No, No,
do I sound pissed off? No? I just did it
to see how long I could tell the story before
you came in here.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
I was just like, man, Ray went to the bathroom,
and it's been gone a while. I guess I'll wander
down there and see if he's back.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Oh, he's already talking. It's in use, the mics are on,
and I did it to show the listeners that I
could do a show without you. Oh so for forty seconds.
They learned that. That's pretty impressive. That's pretty impressive.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
So are you gonna reekapit or am I just gonna
have to catch up?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Dimly lit resort. It was nine pm and we needed
a night cap. We wanted an espresso Martini. Out of
the corner comes this guy, Teddy bear Man, I'll show
you where espresso Martinis Armand did he work at the
hotel or was he a guest? Yes? Had the name tag,
white shirt pants. And so we go to the espresso
bar and it's kind of hidden bookshelves and all that.
(21:22):
We would have never found it.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Wait, wait, wait, there's a special bar for no spress.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, Espresso martiniz Expresso Martinis. Got it. But remember you
can't tip these people. So we get there and me
and Baser combined have probably put enough drinks down to
float a boat, but we're still feeling pretty good. We
remember it all, you know, I'm just saying, but if
you think about it, heavy travel day, heavy drinking. Yeah,
and we got the free drinks on the flight from
(21:49):
that dude that was a recovery.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Right, that was doing his sheets.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
And so we go to this Espresso Martini bar and
what do you think Baser is already doing the tipping. Hey,
I'm I'm bartender. You were so amazing here here. I
know you guys can't take tips. I'm gonna slip you this.
So she slips the bartender forty dollars Teddy Bear. We
don't know precisely the exact amount, but between one hundred
(22:15):
and one hundred and fifty dollars. We tipped Teddy Bear
for showing you where the bar is. Have you ever
met us when we're drunk. We're the nicest people in
the world. And Payser thinks that everybody's buller, Sir, this
kid probably has a condo and he was so nice.
(22:37):
How far did he walk you? Like two stairs us
to the Bobby Boncho studio. Oh my gosh. But it
was a greate espresso martini. And so we wake up
the next morning we thought we got robbed. We realized
we tipped Teddy somewhere between north of one hundred and
(22:58):
south of two hundred, and that is where the story starts.
Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
So I'm assuming that Teddy Bear, after that tip is
gonna be in your hip pocket all weekend, all week.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
So over the next four days, if we were at
a brunch, oh hey, Teddy Bear, if we were at
a pool, Hey, teddy Bear, how have you guys been
doing mine? Good man? Good mon? Hey, I have my
dj tonight, mon. Would you want to swing by and
listen to my music? Man? Maybe maybe we will after dinner. Hey, man,
(23:37):
Remember I'm DJing tonight. Man, I'll see you guys later. Thanks,
min Yeah, just let me know the following morning. Oh. Sorry,
we didn't come, dude, it was late at night. It
didn't come. It's okay, man. Later on today, Mon, we're
putting together skid out here in the plaza. You should
come by and see. Man. I'll be one of the dancers. Okay.
Oh that sounds good, Thank you. Teddy Bear. Yeah, Man,
(23:59):
no worries. Man. If it was a pool, if it
was a brunch, if it was a after dinner, if
it was just walking around Teddy Bear, teddy Bear. Oh hey,
teddy Bear, teddy Bear, teddy Bear, teddy Bear. That leads
me to the climax of teddy Bear. So why is
(24:20):
teddy Bear being nice to it? Like? Why why? Because
you chipped him so much money? Get in here, Scooba.
I'm only in the middle of a Jamaica story, Teddy Bear. Man,
Teddy Bear spots But then you remember there's mentions in
the podcast too, got it. I don't know where you're doing.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll talk about that. Man, this
we're in Jamaica. Mon, they won't be able to make
it to Demolition Derby. Yeah, Demolition Derby. You know we're
the week of two twenty three.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
All right, we got it.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
It's gonna be in Shelby Built, Tennessee, March eighth at
Cooper Steele Arena.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Come see me.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
If you're in Jamaica right now, You're not gonna be
able to get there, but hey, come on.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Let's do it. So are we taking a breaker? I can?
I can roll real now, you can.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Roll real quick.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
So the final pool day, I mean, Teddy Bear has
been there for everything. I would say shy of being
in the bedroom with us for naughty time. He has
seen us do everything. He has been on every pool
chair with us, He's been on every inflatable. Will be
actually in the water and he's hanging over the edge.
Teddy Bear was a threesome. We were a thrupple with
(25:26):
Teddy Bear the entire trap. Come to the last day.
Why is Teddy Bear being so nice to us? Why?
Because the big tip that's one of them. But then also,
and that's obviously not the answer. I know you want
to know it. No, No, I know that. Why is
he being so nice to us? It's not the money.
(25:47):
I tricked you. That's how a good host tricks you.
That was really not because of the money. This is
a good crime pocket. It's like a plot twist.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
And so I'm gonna say he was really nice to
you because he thought you like to cluck.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
No incorrect answer. So the final pool day, I'm severely hungover,
but I'm still drinking. Naturally, it's a vacation yet, and
so they're bringing red stripe lights. We were doing these
mud slides. Baser probably did a Bob Marley at one point.
There was a blue drink that I told you about,
the Coral blue. We're mixing all these. I'm so hungover.
I'm trying to check NFL scores. It was on Sunday.
(26:21):
I mean, I'm shaking. I can barely pull up Oh,
Patriots are winning again. Okay, got Oh, Titans are down
by fifty got it. I can barely scroll my phone,
much less do the request that Teddy Bear was about
to come up with. Teddy Bear rolls over. Oh on,
So it's okay, don't worry. You didn't come to any
DJ set of mine over the last four.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Days, even though I invite you bond, mone, I invite
you this, I invite you that you don't come to nothing.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Mone I thought we friends mon every night at elevep
hit a DJ set. We never went once, got invited
two hundred times. So you could have seen the next
dead mouse. And you have no idea. Teddy was on
the sacks of wax every night at the Whiskey Club,
and it was always raging till two. I tell Teddy,
we really really don't stay out late. But Teddy, Man,
(27:05):
it's okay, Man, don't even worry about it. Man. Hey,
let me ask you this one favor. Mon. So if
you go on Man, if you go on trip Advisor,
Man there, Man, you can fill out Man that I
was good to you. Man. You can say, how oh
Teddy bear Man at this resort. Make sure you name
the resort Man was exceptional. Man. Man, If you do
(27:26):
this for me, Mon, you just say Teddy Barra Man
Dun's river Mon. Then Man, that's how we get promotions. Man.
If we get enough Trip Advisor good comments and positive feedback.
Mane that's how you go level up, man. So you
guys would help me level up man. So he wants
(27:48):
us to do these Yelp and trip Advisor things. Ah,
so aforementioned bro, I'm shaking so bad. I couldn't even
pull up X and be like Teddy Bear said, into
the world, I'm shaking so bad, and so Baser bless
her soul. She has to with decent Wi Fi, has
to download trip Advisor, she has to download Yelp, she
(28:10):
has to download Google Messenger comment on trips, and she
has to fill out one hundred and forty characters. So
say you say Teddy Bear was comfortable and just a
big old teddy Bear. That's like twenty Baser had to
write four paragraphs on every one of these apps for
(28:31):
this dude. Sometimes she would run out it. She'd be
at one hundred and she'd just do a bunch of
emoji smiley faces. I go, Baser, bless your soul, because
I can't even function right now to get on my
phone right now in this tropical paradise because I'm recovering. Okay,
I'm actually gonna give up drinking because holy crap, the
effects are brutal but besery for an hour and a half,
(28:52):
probably at the pool on our final day. Teddy Bear
is on our lily pad and our pool bed that
we paid one hundred and fifty dollars for, camped out
the entire afternoon waiting for Baser to do all these
comments and all these different apps and stuff. Oh my gosh,
So that could be the end of the story.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Oh I thought that was it. I thought, Okay, he's
got proof, he's gonna leave you alone.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
The end of the story really is, don't ever tip
these people when they say not to tip, because holy crap,
that got annoying talking to teddy Bear every single time
of the day if regardless of where the sun was
in the sky, teddy Bear was twenty feet away from us.
And did she do them a favor. Yes, they can
also get in trouble for it at these resorts. And
(29:37):
she snuck the bartender twenty So hopefully that espresso bartender
never got fired. Hopefully teddy Bear never got fired. And
that's the lesson there. But all that to say this,
I think teddy Bear actually did get fired because so
Baser filled it all that stuff, did all the comments.
Whatever we did this stuff for him, and then we
finally got rid of him. Well, he comes over and
(29:59):
he gives me a shotglass. It says Jamaica on it.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, and it said teddy Bear's last day.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I go, thank you, teddy Bear, thank you so much.
This is no lie. This is a dead god's on
his true story. I take this shotglass and we wanted
to go play Bingo. Why not do a pool side Bingo?
Why not we go over there? You couldn't the universe
couldn't have written this up any better. The host of Bingo,
what is his name? Teddy Bear? The host of Bingo's
(30:26):
name is Ray. Oh, and so when we all introduced
each other, who do you think he's gonna know and
look at and be the most memorable Ray the guy
that has the same name as him, Ray correct. So
the entire time he's saying Ray this, Ray that, Oh, Ray,
how are you doing? Ray? Well? I took the shot
glass that Teddy Bear had given Slash stolen and he goes, Ray,
(30:47):
how did you get that shotglass? We haven't even played
the game yet, and I go, I got it from
teddy Bear. Teddy Bear came over and we were like
helping him out and he's like, here you go, here's
a free shotglass. The only reason he gave a crap
about me is because my name was Ray. In this
universe where the host names Ray and teddy Bear stole
(31:08):
a shotglass and gave it to me. It was the
same shotglass that they gave at Bingo if you won.
I learned that five minutes later when I won and
I said big go and Ray comes over and hands
me the same shotglass that teddy Bear had already stolen
for me. And it was then confirmed that teddy Bear
(31:31):
stole a shot glass to thank us for all the reviews.
But that stolen shotglass may have sealed his fate. So
I don't know if teddy Bear got the promotion and
leveled up or if teddy Bear got fired. And I
will hang up and listen. Wow, that is a story
from Jamaica, and that Jamaica shotglass, hot stolen piece of
(31:56):
merchandise is sitting on our table in Nashville, Tennessee. Right now.
That's dude.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
That's beautiful, dude. That was a great storytelling. That was
worth the wait. And we'll take a break.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
What's the time thirty two eight?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Man, do you have any more. You have one more
story from Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Told you about the tree when we landed?
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Yeah, you told us about the Uh yeah I could.
I could say that the how you got a strike
on the catamaran. You told that at the live pod.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Well then no, the tree. I can tell you about
the tree, just because I had alluded to it earlier.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
So we had the tree that we had got five
minutes off again now for Jamaica plane because Bazer had
hurt seen on the movies about this tree. So we
got a Jamaican tree. Got it? Okay, So we got
the Jamaican tree. And I'm telling you, they brought me
an entire bushel that I could put in the front
of my house. It was that much. And I go, Baser,
I'm not particularly fond of tree. I probably won't even
touch the tree. I know you'll touch the tree like
(32:54):
one time, just to say that you did. So the
I'm carrying this app bush shrub that most people would
put in front of their house and I'm just having
to lug it around Jamaica. It was that much. Huh.
It wasn't a leaf, it wasn't a stem. It was
an absolute hedge that you see at the Georgia Stadium
between the hedges. Oh yeah, I know those, And so
(33:18):
what do you know? We bring it to our hotel
room and we're hiding this tree because it's so big.
And then why don't we just throw it in the trash?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
You ask, why don't you just throw in the trash?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Why? Dude, I'm the most paranoid person you know. I
would never want to risk getting caught and throwing this
tree in the trash. So every single morning and night,
we're shifting the tree. Sometimes we put it in here.
Sometimes we wonder, does that tree smell weird? Maybe we
should put on the patio. I'll put the tree on
the patio for a second. So the tree shifted from
(33:51):
the patio to one of my bags to that tree
is just too much in my backpack. I don't want
it in there. So the tree went to a suitcase.
The tree went to a drawer. What if we just
go to a trash can and put the tree in downstairs?
There's cameras. Why would I I'm not doing that. I'm paranoid.
I'm not gonna go put the tree in a trash.
I'm not putting it in my own trash man, you're
in Jamaica. So the final day comes and we still
(34:14):
have this freaking tree that Baser out of an entire
beautiful evergreen. She had one pie needle of got it.
Thanks Bazer, Glad we paid one hundred dollars for a
tree that we didn't even use to shade us but
for five minutes. And so the very final day, I
(34:35):
just left the tree in our trash can in our room.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
And we're nervous the whole time.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Well, and the reason we had to wait until March
eighth is because I had to wait and see if
we were gonna get seized or in trouble or get
fined by the hotel. We got all our money back,
We never got in trouble. All is good. So now
I can tell the story March eight about the tree
that we had in our room. That's why we had
to wait till March eighth. Wow, the government, local city
policeas they never came down on us. They may have
saw the t in the trash, knew that we were Americanos.
(35:03):
They didn't care. They forgave, They threw away the tree.
All is good.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I gotta be honest. I literally thought they loved trees.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
In Jamaica. They do, but I don't think you can
just outwardly have tree everywhere.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
I just assumed that Jamaica was a tree friendly environment,
and I mean that's just me maybe being ignorant.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I have no idea, but I just ohm on reggaemon.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
I thought that was the whole culture of Jamaica. I
don't know anything about Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Though hopefully I told you enough so now you do
know something about it. One more piece of advice. Yeah, please.
There was these did Jamaican rum. I was well. I
drank it over ice one night and it was god awful.
I'm not a rum drinker, but we met these dudes
from Chicago. They were very good friends, got it and
they said the rum was amazing. That to the point
(35:55):
that every day I may have told this already, that
every day they would hide their rum bottles. Every You
get a eight ounce rum bottle in your room after
the cleaning staff came through every day, really, so they
would hide the eight ounce bottle and they would smuggle
back eight eight ounce bottles back to Chicago because you
can't buy rum there or something.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
It's just a different type of rum. It tastes better.
Maybe fresh from the tree of Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
It's got awful. So the rum ain't worth smuggling back.
The tree is just too branchy. It ain't worth smuggling back.
So if you went in our room on the final day,
there was a trash can full of tree tree and
half drank rum, but it ain't worth bringing back.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
So yeah, man, So do you still talk to your
friends from Chicago? No, bees are really good friends.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
The mom actually almost looked like Nancy Guthrie. Oh, and
so she was really sweet and Bezer was friends with her.
And so their final breakfast. Uh, I hate that the
story includes me being hungover again, but I'm eating breakfast
and Baser goes, how were you guys? How are you?
How was Dun's River Falls? That was good? Oh my gosh,
(37:08):
how did you guys like you last night? The performance?
It was good. I didn't even barely talk to the
two guys that were really good friends or best friends. Yeah,
and their mom. I bought her it. I got her
a diet coke and that was it. I had maybe
two minutes of conversation with him. Baser act like it
was our grandmother that she was talking to. Huh, So
there our goodbye was me at the breakfast, say, look, yeah, great,
(37:30):
great meeting you guys. Enjoy Chicago. I don't care. I
will never talk to you again. Have a good one. Yeah,
they're there or they are left smuggling eight bottles of
mini rum.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Did you go BMW back to the airport? Did you
go to the beach at all? Like, is the beach
like right outside your thing?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah? Yeah, the beach was. I'm talking footsteps, that's how
we wanted it. Okay, south beach. It was almost south beach.
I would almost say fifty yards to the beach, oh,
which was a little too annoying to go do it. Yeah,
this one I could throw like Arnold could throw a
football and hit the water from where our pool was.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Okay, and he's got kind of a noodle arm, so.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
That's what I'm saying. But yeah, it was right there,
and no BMW. On the way back, we did a
van with a bunch of other people, and they were
very slow. So anytime we'd get off, okay, guys, hour
and a half ride, we're at the bathroom for we
got ten minutes here, guys. For eight of the minutes
I was waiting for the people with canes and wheelchairs
(38:31):
to get off the bus. Yeah, so that's probably why
you do private transfer. Yeah, that's cool. I'll just go
to the bathroom for one minute. I can. I'll pitch it. Yeah,
no worries, no worries, you know what I'm saying. Joking
a little bit, it'll cut off. I'll be back every time.
And then when we got off, we get off at
the airport. Here you go. I mean, not like we
(38:53):
were cutting it close, but we had about our forty
five until our flight, you know, us paranoid.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Oh my gosh, our forty five? Dude, how are you doing.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
The guy goes, all right, we are here at the airport.
You guys, thank you so much. Man, thank you for
coming to Jamaica. Mine enjoy it. Mine see you later. Man.
And we sit there and nobody's in a rush to
get off the bus, and where our seats are would
be very rude to cut in front of everybody, So
we just sit there and they just slowly get up
like they're at a DMV. I mean, they were in
(39:26):
no hurry to live life. You gotta respect it. But
good gosh, do a private transfer because I mean we're
sitting there ten minutes then getting their bags. Holy crap,
that process. I'm like, guys, give them a tip. Think
that the guy drove the bus for ten minutes. You
don't ear an hour and a half. You don't need
to talk. They're like, thank you so much. And then
(39:46):
where was that that we passed through? Okay, guys, get
your bag and get to the airport. The vacation's over.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
You're not gonna go visit that spot you just drove
by because it's over.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Did the hurricane when it came through? Did it hit
they clipped a little bit. Oh my, the guy lost
his house and you're asking him about him like it's
a tourist destination. Those houses that are half built was
that because of the hurricane? What I did notice is, dude,
it's bizarre construction there. You would see eighty percent of
the house of they're half built mansions. So they either
(40:18):
don't get the supplies or they run out of money.
Run out of money, they just leave it half built.
The entire drive and then the shacks and shanties that
you do see. They got the Jamaican flag up, proud
of their country. That's cool, man. Did you see where
Bolt lived? Anybody talk about Bolt. Yeah, I would bring
him up and there was no language barrier. They spoke English,
(40:41):
and they didn't really talk about Bob Marley and they
didn't really talk about Bolt. So there must be a
new up and comer we don't know about in Jamaica.
Sounds like a good trip, man, Teddy Bear. Though. That's
why I keep looking behind me, see if Teddy Bear
is there? Dude, I started flinching around this seconto last day.
He was every time we come down to Brunt, there's
(41:04):
Teddy Bear. Eh mon, how was your sleep? How do
you think it was, Teddy Bear? Just like any other sleep.
I put my head on the pillow, pulled the covers
over me, and slept just like I have the four
previous nights. Teddy Bear, Oh man, you guys have a
good brunch. What are you gonna do them on? Some
eggs and bacon? Yes, Teddybear, we're American. We don't do
any of the other stuff. We're gonna go strictly cut
(41:24):
and dry, the same thing we've gotten the four days previously. Ah, Man,
have you tried man the orange juice machine? Man? You
punch it down? Man on listen, Teddy Bear, we just
do the minute made. I don't need you to operate
this orange juice machine, even though it's pretty awesome. They
crush the oranges in front of you. Oh it is
straight from the orange.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
You would tell you a fresh squeezed orange juice game changer.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
That was actually one of the cooler things Teddy Bear
showed us. Other than that. Hey man, if you tried
the plantain, man it it's good mix. No, not Teddybear.
Like I said on day one, all we do is
eggs and baky and a little waki and then uh
maybe maybe some coffee and maybe a mimosa. That same
thing we've done the last four days, teddy Bear. Thank you,
(42:06):
Teddy Bear. Oh man, I'll see you guys later on.
Still looking behind him, see if teddy Bear is back there, dude,
I swear to God. During the convention, I thought Teddy
Bear was gonna come. That'd been awesome if Bazer invited
him on the low down low? Did I save a picture?
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Question? I got a question right, Jamaica, would you go
back out of ten?
Speaker 1 (42:30):
What are we talking, Jamaica? Is I go the same
the same exact resort? It was phenomenal. It was it
was tops right now because the people are so freaking nice.
The dive bar. Did they treat me bad? Yes, but dude,
they were actually so genuinely awesome. And obviously they you know,
they're kissing the ring. The one guy goes, dude, you
must be cool ass back in America, right, and I'm
(42:51):
like yeah, yeah, he's like, dude, you're freaking hilarious. Man.
You know. Then they're talking about it and they're like,
and then like, your chick back in America, she's like
the hottest. I'm like, yeah, she's like supermodel. They believe
whatever you tell them. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm on
a radio show and there, Oh you host it. I'm like,
I'll never hear it. Yeah, I'm the host of it.
They thought it was the host of a radio show
and my wife was a Victoria's Secret model.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
I'm gonna text my wife right now say hey, let's uh,
let's set uh, let's sit in Jamaica.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Where are we at? Dude?
Speaker 2 (43:22):
That's good man, Hey.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Dude, what the heck have I been doing? Bro? I
don't know. I think that was a great pod. Dude.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I think you can wrap it, you can hit the button.
I don't know what they're not going to see the
picture right now. We'll just post on socials if we
have it. If we don't, we don't.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
The driver, Oh my, that's our driver. I don't know
if I got Teddy Bear though.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Oh, Beazer's got a picture of Teddy Bear.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
You would have. I wanted to play a sot of
you'd have just music.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Oh dude, that's beautiful. Oh no, no, no, let me see it.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
He going, he was doing fifty cent. I'm a pimp.
I'm on the street and I'm grinding on that butt.
But he would play the sacks to it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
They look at that, dude, you're not lying. You're right
on the beach.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yeah, we were right there. That's I can post a
couple of these. Then here's my people. Teddy Bear is
not in this, but these are the bros there. Oh
they're having a good time. We're chilling in the little
villa we had, the little day bed. They're kind of
smiling their butts off. Oh there, they're they're on cloud nine, dude.
They love life. Cloud nine. I mean, we gave grease
them all.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
So when you're not supposed to, let's get out of here.
Just stop it, man, that's great.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
There you go. There, pride in your country. Oh, they
got Jamaica flags everywhere, dude, that's pride in your country.
This guy had two on his shanty. That's legit. I
mean three.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
He's got one in the door, he does. How many
American flags you got at the house.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
We got one. If it was up to Baser, we'd
have about five more. Okay,
Hosts And Creators
Bobby Bones
Amy Brown
Lunchbox
Eddie Garcia
Morgan Huelsman
Raymundo
Mike D
Abby Anderson
Scuba Steve
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