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January 23, 2025 23 mins

Ready to see things differently? The goal of this episode is for us to rethink what it means to live a happier, more fulfilling life—one quote at a time! Amy loves quotes and today's she's sharing 4 of them that will challenge how you think about happiness, decisions, stress, and personal growth. Each quote is paired with relatable examples to help you apply these ideas to your own life. Below you'll find the recommended podcast episodes that go along with each quote. Thank you Leanne Ellington for input on these episodes!

1st Quote: "Happiness is not the absence of problems. It’s the ability to deal with them."

- Podcast Episode - GOD POD:The Faith-Brain Connection: Where Self-Image Meets Neuroscience.

2nd Quote: "Feeling sad after making a decision does not mean it was the wrong decision."

- Podcast Episode - OUTWEIGH: Why You Stopped Trusting Yourself (and How to Earn Your Own Trust Back)

3rd Quote: "You’re not stressed because you are doing too much. You are stressed because you are doing too little of what makes you feel the most alive."

- Podcast Episode - GOD POD: Navigating the Noise: How to Find Peace in a World of Overstimulation

4th Quote: "The lesson you struggle with will repeat itself until you learn from it."

- Podcast Episode(s) - ACTING AS IF part 1part 2part 3, part 4

HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy

GUEST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Okay, cats up little food for yourself life.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty bad.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, it's pretty beautiful than beautiful.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
That for a little more exciting, said, he cut your
kicking with four Thing with Amy Brown. Happy Thursday. Four
Things Amy Here, and I got a little story time
for you in this intro part of the episode, before
we get into the meat of things, which today is

(00:43):
going to be all about quotes. You know, I love
a good quote. We do a quote every Tuesday on
the Fifth Thing with Kat, something that we've done for years.
I love sharing them with friends, texting them back and forth.
I have a whole word doc on my computer or
Google doc I guess full of quotes, and I especially
love one that can shift our perspective right when we

(01:03):
need it the most. So that's what I've got for
you today. But before we get into the quotes. For
quotes to be exact, I have a little story, which
is how this episode doesn't look like I wanted it too.
I thought Leanne Ellington would be joining me as a
little co host here a little banter back and forth,

(01:23):
because I knew she'd have some insight about these quotes,
and I had an idea of linking other podcast episodes
that tie in to these quotes. Leanne has her own
podcast called What's God Got to Do with It, so
I knew that she may have some episodes that tie in.
She also co hosts out Weigh with Me, which is

(01:45):
a podcast that is dedicated to body image and disordered eating.
Episodes load up every Saturday, so we were actually recording
for that today. I went straight from the Bobby Bones
Show to another studio to record with her after we
got done with our four part series we're working on
for that about lies that women believe about their bodies

(02:06):
and mines and food and all that stuff. So you'll
have that to look forward to if you listen out Weigh.
But we're going to wrap that up and then record
today's four Things episode. Well, then I had to call
an audible because something came up with Ben and I
had to hop on a call with him. It was
a co parenting situation. Ben's my ex husband, and it

(02:28):
was the right thing to do. It's what I needed
to do, but it just shifted my day. And I
have another side story to say. This isn't exactly where
I was going, but it just popped in my head.
So I'm going to share it. And that's that Ben
and I have not been communicating well at all whatsoever.
And I think I have come on the podcast a

(02:49):
lot and been like, oh, we co parent so well,
we communicate so great, and we really do ninety eight
percent of the time. Well, whatever that two percent is.
Last week that was us. It was so bad. I
don't even know what was happening. I don't know what
the disconnect was. I don't know why the energy was
so horrible, but we could not have a conversation to

(03:09):
save our lives. And then here I was today trying
to get some work done and I have to have
another conversation. But it was more important, so this is
what I needed to do. But then I was like,
please let the conversation go, well please, Like last week,
it was so bad, we had to come up with
a code word to just end the conversation so that

(03:30):
we wouldn't keep going on and on. We would just
end it. And in fact, we never even officially decided
on a word. The first time we talked about the word,
and then the next day we were trying to have
a conversation and I don't know, out of nowhere, I
just screamed the word pickle, and he kind of understood
what I was talking about, even though pickle was not
the word. But in the middle of our conversation, I
just go pickle and he said, okay, by and then

(03:53):
he hung up. It's like he understood the conversation needed
to end. And so I guess now our code were pickle.
But I tell that story just to make sure that
I don't ever come across like we've got it all
figured out and we're the best co parent communicators in
all the land, because we're not. And maybe you and

(04:17):
your co parent, or even your partner or your friend
or whoever you have a lot of conversations with, maybe
sometimes y'all need a code word, excuse me, your roommate,
your co worker, I don't know. Sometimes you just need
a break. And I will say we did take a
break for a few days with no conversation and that

(04:37):
did help. So maybe we just needed time and space
and then we were able to have a really amazing, healthy,
awesome conversation today. So there's that story. Leanne is amazing because,
as I tell her, hey, I can no longer stick
around to record. I got to go hop on this call.

(04:58):
She's like Hey, no problem, I got you. I'm going
to record these little snippets. I'll send them over to
Houston and he can insertle me in when you're ready.
Because I knew she would have insight, and I wanted
her to talk about the episodes that we were gonna link,
and tada, she sent Houston her audio, so he's got it.
So I'm gonna go over each thing, each quote, and

(05:19):
then I'll toss to the lean audio, and then that's
how you're gonna get it. So instead of Leanne and
I having a conversation about this, this is just how
it's gonna be. We had to call an audible. Sometimes
you just got to make changes and go with the flow.
And then also remember sometimes you just got to take
space and maybe yell the word pickle. All right, so

(05:43):
let's get started. Here's the first quote. Happiness is not
the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them. Now,
this one really hits home because, let's face it, sort
of like my example with co parenting, life is full
of problems, but happiness isn't about avoiding them, it's about

(06:05):
learning how to handle them. So I feel like my
pickle example, like we learned how to navigate that situation.
We're going to go through hard things. I got a
little example for you, though, Like imagine someone who has
just started a new job and maybe they are totally
overwhelmed by the workload, like their team is really tough

(06:27):
to connect with, and then they have imposter syndrome, which
is never good and it's through the roof, and it's
tempting for them to think, if only this job was easier,
I'd be happy. But what if the real opportunity is
in figuring out how to navigate the challenges. Because just
because you switch the job doesn't mean there's going to

(06:49):
be happiness, because every job is going to have its
own challenges. Happiness comes from building the skills to face
the problems. And I am so thankful for the last
five years in my life. It's been extremely challenging, but
in those moments, I was still able to find joy
and happiness as I was building a lot of skills

(07:11):
and getting a lot of tools to face problems. And
I don't want to erase those problems. And now when
I face new problems, I don't beg for them to disappear.
I actually want to face them head on. Because that's
where the magic happens, that's where the growth is. So

(07:32):
the quote happiness is not the absence of problems, it's
the ability to deal with them. Because I guarantee you
most happy people and you may be looking at them
with envy of like, oh, how are they so happy?
I want happiness like theirs. It doesn't mean they're problem free.
It just may mean that they have the ability to

(07:53):
deal with their problems. Sometimes they deal with them better
than others. I feel like, for me, I know I
have the skills. In some days, I'm just lacking the skills.
It's like suddenly I know nothing and I don't know
how to deal with them, and I'm a pretty miserable person.
But there you go. That's the first quote. So we'll
pop into Leanne's thoughts on this quote here right now,

(08:16):
and Houston, you can roll that. I was going to say,
roll that beautiful being footage, So roll that beautiful Leanne audio.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
You know, for the longest time, I thought happiness was
on the other side of weight loss, or career success
or finding a mate. And I mean, trust me, I've
used every golden carrot you can imagine, and I just
thought that, like you know, once I figured that out
or had that or reached that, then I could finally
feel at peace or happy or insert fill in the blank.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
But wow, like that was the part I was wrong about.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
And the real breakthrough for me was realizing that happiness
wasn't about fixing every problem or flaw that I thought
was keeping me from being happy. It was about how
how I show up for myself when life felt messy
or unfinished or unclear. And trust me, life will get
messy and confusing. But learning to approach those moments with

(09:10):
compassion and surrender was a total game changer for me.
But also, you know, understanding how to have that compassion
and surrender in the context of how my brain works
so that I could find that strength in the midst
of the chaos. And that's what I shared in my
Faith Brain Connection episode over on the Godpod, you know,
talking about where self image and compassion and creating new

(09:31):
measuring sticks meets neuroscience and surrendering to this idea that
I don't have to have all the answers and leaning
into that all right.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
The second quote is feeling sad after making a decision
does not mean it was the wrong decision. And with
this one. Have you ever had to make a really
difficult call and then you felt this like wave of sadness,
like maybe you broke off a relationship. I know I
went through that when Ben and I were getting a divorce.

(10:02):
I struggled with whether or not it was the right
call or not. We both did and I felt ultimately
at the end of it that it was the right decision,
but I also was so incredibly sad so that it
made me question, oh, shoot, was that not the right decision.
But then that's where this quote comes in Handy. Feeling

(10:24):
sad after making a decision does not mean it was
the wrong decision. Maybe you broke off a relationship as well,
maybe you turned down a really big opportunity. The sadness
doesn't mean that you messed up or did something wrong.
It's just a part of letting go. Imagine someone decides

(10:45):
to move away from their hometown to pursue a dream job.
Like they know it is the right decision, but on
their last night, they feel really sad as they say
goodbye to friends and family. In that sadness is totally natural.
I think what the sadness is is it's proof that

(11:06):
these people matter to you. This relationship matters. My sadness
about my relationship ending with Ben is because that relationship
mattered to me. It still does. I do think that
we can grieve what we're leaving behind and still get
excited about moving forward with confidence. So you like my

(11:30):
little scenarios that are not real. I'm trying something new
here for a second, but then I'm throwing in my
own personal experience as well. But you know, just picturing
someone moving to a new city to pursue their dream job,
I know that we all know someone who has done that.
I have done it. We moved to Nashville not knowing anybody,

(11:54):
and I had just moved back to Austin, my hometown,
Ben's hometown, where we wanted to be. Our family was there,
and I was really sad to leave Austin to come
to Nashville, but it was absolutely the right decision for
our family and what we needed to do. I think

(12:14):
I liked the personal touch than the random examples. All right, Houston,
roll that beautiful Leanne audio.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
So this is one of those lessons I've had to
learn over and over to be honest.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
And I used to think that if I.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
Felt sad or unsure after making a decision, it must
mean that I'm either insecure or that I made the
wrong decision, and both of those things would just fester
in my mind and take me down rabbit holes. But
you know, the compassionate truth, or at least what I
say about it now, is that those feelings are just
a part of the process of what I was going

(12:48):
through when I didn't trust myself, or I didn't believe
in myself, or I just didn't know how to stand
in the certainty of who I am or the decisions
that I made, and I didn't know that it's okay
to feel sad and it's okay to question yourself. And
you know, the bigger lesson for me was learning to
trust myself in spite of those feelings, and to know

(13:09):
that my decisions are rooted in my growth and just
to stand confidently in that and in them. And I
share my experiences on what that process looked like for
me in the episode of Outweigh about earning back your
own trust and how to stand in that confidence in yourself.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
Right. Third quote, you're not stressed because you're doing too much.
You are stressed because you are doing too little of
what makes you feel the most alive. I'm gonna say
that one again. You're not stressed because you're doing too much.
You are stressed because you're doing too little of what
makes you feel the most alive. Which I guess I

(13:55):
should say that with these quotes, I did a lot
of research and they're not any one person that said
these things. First, I feel like these have been said
in a few different ways lots of times over and over,
so we're just more unknown quotes. So again, you're not

(14:16):
stressed because you were doing too much. You are stressed
because you were doing too little of what makes you
feel the most alive. And I read that again because
this is one that I need to read often. It
flips the script on stress, like we always think I
need to do less. That's why I say I need
this quote more and more because I say that that
is me on my Hinge profile A long time ago,

(14:38):
it was like what do you want to do this year?
And I just kept my answer short and sweet, and
I just said do less. And some of the guys
that would you know, initiate conversation with me around that,
they'd be like, oh, I love that. And then I
could tell the other guys weren't really feeling that answer
and they would like challenge it a little bit. And

(14:58):
I don't know for me in that moment, that's what
I felt resonated with me the most For the year
I wanted to do less. But the example that I
got for you, you know of someone that I don't even know, Like,
let's say someone's plate is full, like they've got work meetings,
They've got like a full kid calendar. There's chores, there's errands.

(15:20):
We all know what that is. Like they're running on empty, exhausted,
but when was the last time that maybe they did
something that truly lit them up, Like maybe this person
loves painting or hiking or even just sitting at a
coffee shop with a good book. Adding one thing that
makes you feel alive can completely shift your energy. And

(15:43):
sometimes it's not about doing less, it's about doing more
of the right things. But sometimes we just have a
lot of things to get done that are just on
our list to get done, and we don't really have
a choice because if we don't do them, how will
they get done. I mean, we can have help and
different people we work with and whatnot, but still there
can be an ongoing list of things that we need

(16:05):
to get done, and it can feel overwhelming, but if
you sprinkle in the things that give you that joy
that fill your cup up. Leanne and I were actually
even talking about this today with each other, of community
and connection with friends and how sometimes we isolate and
we think we're having solitude, but it turns into isolation

(16:27):
and that we don't really have community and connection with
our friends and we don't realize that's all we need.
And if we were to have one hike with a friend,
one coffee date with a friend, even one chat with
a friend over the phone or FaceTime or something, instantly
our cup can start to fill up and our energy

(16:49):
can start to shift. So it doesn't have to be
this drastic thing. It can be as simple as a
phone call with a friend. So take that little nugget
and yeah, roll that beautiful lay in audio.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
Okay, So this message hit me like a ton of
bricks when I first, you know, got the memo because
for so long I thought I was stressed because I
had too much on my plate. But what I've come
to realize is that my stress wasn't from doing too much.
It was from who I was or wasn't being when
I was doing the doing, And for me, I was
trying to do all the things from a place of

(17:26):
stress or disorder or just you know, total lack of
belief in myself. And then the big one for me
was doing all the things that I thought I was
supposed to do or that I thought that I was
supposed to want to do, and totally ignoring what makes
me more of who I am and what truly lights
me up. And when I finally started prioritizing the things
that made me feel alive, and that's things like you know,

(17:49):
writing and teaching what I meant to be teaching, and
connecting with people who just get me, or you know,
just simple things like taking a walk outside and feeling
the sunshine on my face and knowing that those things
do have value, even if you know society doesn't necessarily
deem that stuff productive. All of that completely shifted my
relationship with stress and that hustle mentality.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
And I actually just talked about this.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
On the Godpod about how I navigate the noise and
find peace in a world of overstimulation.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
The lesson you struggle with will repeat itself until you
learn from it. Now, this one is a little tough love,
that's for sure, But it is so true like life
has a way of sending us the same challenges over
and over until we figure out what we're supposed to learn.
And I know that I have certainly seen that happen
in my own life. Imagine someone who keeps ending up

(18:40):
in toxic friendships like they're always the one giving, always
the one fixing, and it always ends in drama, Like
it's easy to blame the other person, But what if
the real lesson is about boundaries? And until this person
learns how to set boundaries, and they're going to keep
finding themselves in the same situation. Once they get it, though,

(19:03):
it really is a total game changer and the pattern
will stop and they will move forward stronger than ever.
But the lesson will keep popping up. So if you
have something going on in your life and you're like, oh,
why does this keep happening to me? Maybe say, oh, wow,
this just happened again. I recognize this. What am I

(19:24):
supposed to be learning from this? Invite the information to
come to you, Invite the lesson in ask questions. If
you are confiding in a friend, like say you're this
person that ends up in these toxic friendships? Right? What
if you have a confidante that you can talk to
about these toxic friendships and they notice it too. Are

(19:48):
you going to be willing to receive that information from
a trusted friend. Can you open up to that friend
and say, hey, I love to get your insight on
something like I keep up in these same patterns. Is
there anything you notice that I could do differently? Or
if you have a therapist being honest about these relationships

(20:09):
instead of just going into the conversation with your friend
and gossiping about the toxic person and just being the
victim and talking all about what this other person did,
open up to where you could have done some things differently.
And if you're talking to your therapist, since sometimes a
good session is needed, but instead of just bashing the

(20:32):
other person, but in a healthy way, maybe you vent
and then ask for how you could have shown up differently,
because then that's where the change is going to be.
The lesson you struggle with will repeat itself until you
learn from it. That is the quote, and I love it,
so Houston roll that beautiful Leonne Audio.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
Oh Man, this is a lesson I really didn't want
to learn. But it just keep showing up, right, And
so for years I felt stuck in this cycle, you know,
facing the same challenges over and over again, like Groundhog's Day,
until I realized, okay, I'm the problem. It's me, and
more specifically, it really was my brain. And it wasn't

(21:16):
until I stopped trying to, you know, air quotes fix everything,
and I just started asking, you know, what is this
here to teach me?

Speaker 1 (21:23):
And who do I need to become?

Speaker 3 (21:25):
And what patterns do I need to transcend and actually
take care of, and what's the next iteration of myself
that I need to step into, and questions like that.
That is when I started to break free. And the
truth is is that we can't you know, do our
way out of some struggles. We have to become the
version of ourselves who's already learned the lesson. And we

(21:48):
talk about this a lot amy in our Acting as
If series, and it's all about stepping into the beliefs
that would reflect learning the lessons and evolving past those
old patterns.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
Right. Thanks for your contribution to all four quotes. That's
a wrap for today. Four quotes, four things, and hopefully
a new way to look at some of the challenges
and opportunities in your life. We talk about this all
the time. Change can be uncomfortable, but it's also where
the growth happens and where my word of the year happens.

(22:20):
My word of the year for twenty twenty five is alignment.
Growth and alignment come with change, They come with being uncomfortable.
So if any of these quotes spark something in you,
let me know. We love hearing from you. Four Things
with Amy Brown at gmail dot com. If you've got
a quote you want to share, send it on over.

(22:41):
If you have thoughts based on any of these quotes,
please reach out. This is a year of connection, of learning, growing,
becoming the best version of ourselves. And I do think
that these quotes are something that stretch us, that challenge us,
that will change the way we see life if we

(23:02):
focus on them. These are quotes that you can, you know,
write down, put on your mirror, have in your journal,
put in your car, wherever you need to see them.
These are life changing quotes in my opinion. Okay at radio,
I meet on Instagram and hope y'all are having the
day that you need to have. I'll see you on
Saturday for Outweigh and then I will see you on

(23:25):
Tuesday with Kat for the fifth thing. And then Kat
and I are going to have a fun announcement very
very very very soon. Stay tuned, can't wait. Bye,
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