November 1, 2024 • 32 mins
Chelsea Devantez is a TV writer, the author of the memoir “I Shouldn’t Be Telling You This,” and the host of the podcast “Glorious Trash.” She joins Simone and Danielle to dive into the pop culture moments of the week, from Tina Knowles’ memoir “Matriarch,” to People’s Sexiest Man of the Year, to Tom Hanks’ comments on aging. They also debate dating rules that feel… well… dated.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello Sunshine, Hey besties.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Today on the bright Side, we're popping off audition on
the biggest pop culture moments of the week with Emmy
nominated comedian and writer Chelsea Devantes. Who will be People's
Sexiest Man Alive this year? What is the secret to
a Lasting relationship? And Tom Hanks sparks a debate would
you travel back in time to experience life at a
younger age?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Again?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
It's Friday, November First, I'm Simone Boyce.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I'm Danielle Robe and this is the bright Side from
Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together to
share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day. Simone,
Happy day after Halloween. How was trick or treating with
your kiddos last night?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
It was so much fun.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Our neighborhood really gets into the decorations, so we always
have friends who come over and walk through the neighborhood
with us and do trick or treating together.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
So it was a blast. How about you. How is
your Halloween in New Orleans?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Well, you know, New Orleans is a little bit of
a mystical place, so Halloween here was especially spooky, which
I love. All the architecture here is like French and
Spanish and Creole, inspired from like the late seventeen hundreds,
early eighteen hundreds, and so it just really lends itself
to some spookiness and some spiderwebs.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You know. My favorite part of New Orleans is probably
the architecture. I just love sitting in those really old
restaurants and seeing like the crumbling layers of the walls
peeling back and you can see the patina underneath. And
then I also love those gas lanterns that are outside
of every building there. I always feel like I'm in
Pirates of the Caribbean whenever walking through New Orleans.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
It's so magical.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I thought of that movie yesterday. That's so funny that
you said that. The funny thing is my stomach cannot
take any more New Orleans breakfast. I need some green juice,
I need some egg whites.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I really the grits. I didn't grow up on these.
I'm on the struggle bus right now, Danielle.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I can't believe it's already the beginning of a new month.
This week alone, we've had so many wonderful conversations. It
feels like we just talked about ghosting with Sabrina Zohar
one of my favorite guests.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah, her story about being ghosted by someone that she
dated for six weeks and then running into that guy
on the streets of New York had me shook. Also
someone There was an interview this week that I learned
so much from while we were recording it, but I
actually learned a lot listening back, and that was with
the millennial therapist, doctor Sarah Kubrick. Her thoughts on how
(02:35):
we can take responsibility for ourselves and who we want
to be in the world was really resonant. I love
how like basically she was talking about how your insides
should and can match your outsides.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
I love that phrase. Danielle so good.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I also love doctor Kubrick's comment about how she remains
mindful to never over commit to a single version of
herself and just create space to grow one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
We also had our first ever Halloween episode with comedian
Lauren Lapkiz our spooky ghost story loving podcast hosts.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
It really is wild that this is our first Halloween episode, Like,
that's how long we've been on the air. In March,
it'll be a year, all right, besties, we are about
to pop off with Chelsea devantees. But before we do,
it's time to spotlight our favorite moment of the week,
and today's spotlight goes to actor and director Anna Kendrick.
If you've been on Netflix recently, you may have seen
(03:30):
her starring in the film Woman of the Hour, which
has been streamed more than twenty three million times to date. Well,
this past week, we learned that she donated her salary
from the film, which she also directed to two organizations
that are working to combat sexual violence and abuse.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
In a little context here if you haven't seen the film,
it's inspired by one woman's real life encounter with serial
killer Rodney Alcala on the TV show The Dating Game
back in the seventies, and the movie also tracks the
lives of several other women impacted by him during his
year's long killing spree. So in an interview with Serious XM,
Anna Kendrick actually shared that she felt gross accepting money
(04:08):
for telling the stories of al Calla's victims and decided
to donate her salary to RAIN and the National Center
for Victims of Crime, saying it was the least she
could do.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
This is actually really inspiring to me. It's just really
refreshing to see someone with that much money, acclaim and
power who's willing to give so much too?
Speaker 4 (04:29):
Like, what a generous move?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Okay, Vesti's we're flipping the script a little bit.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
It's time to.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Pop off with our good friend Chelsea Devantes.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Chelsea, welcome back to the bright Side. I'm so happy
to be here. I missed you all. Did you miss me?
We missed you so much. Good. I know you're doing
like lots of shows, but did you miss my show? Specifically?
Speaker 4 (04:50):
I haven't been able to get it out of my mind?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Honestly, thank you, thank you. We argued about Ratman Hot
Ratman on that episode, so.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
How could no one for get?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
We're actually kind of gonna argue about men again today
on this show.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Maybe not Ratman. Can I be her argue about men? Correspondent,
the mayor of arguing about men? Correspondent Chelsea wants, I love.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
It, sounds incredibly official.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
I like it a lot, Okay, Chelsea.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
On your podcast, you talk all about celebrity memoirs, and
we heard this week that Tina Knowles is releasing a memoir.
What's your initial reaction to this? What are you hoping
to see? What do you think she's gonna cover.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Okay, first off, I'm so excited. This is huge. This
is like a mini super Bowl memoir, Like Share is
the super Bowl. Her memoir comes out in a month,
and we're recapping on the podcast. But then Tina's gonna
She's another super Bowl. Here's what I want to be
in the memoir. I need details on the first marriage.
I need a photo section of only the outfits that
(05:52):
she sewed for Destiny's Child, and I want her to
point out in every outfit how she made Beyonce specifically
look the best in every single, because she did.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Every time I hear about Beyonce's story, and not just
the clips that we all have seen online, but when
I hear any sort of excerpts of people who talked
about them growing up and like Tina having her hair
salon and the Destiny's Child girls, like dancing and performing
and practicing in there, I think about how Tina was
(06:24):
the og. There are a lot of stories that we
have not heard because Beyonce's so private, Like do you
think that she's sort of just like sanctioned final cut
on the memoir?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Right?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Right? That is such a good point, Like what will
Beyonce let her mom share Chelsea.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Who's someone that you really want to see a memoir from?
Who has a published.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Always Rihanna, It'll never come. I'm giving us an album,
so I know that's not coming. But the one that
I think people never think about is Sandra Bullock, who
is both y'all's like, this is the memoir I need?
How about Goldie Hahn, she has one. How about Bet Midler.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I'm gonna do the third cast member of First One.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Now, that is a memoir we need, Yes, yeah, we
need that. We need that bad lady m give it
to us. I'm going to go with Tracy Elis ross
Ooh yeah, oh my god, child of Diana.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
The Stories we love. An honest memoir we do.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
You gotta go there. If yeah, this is what I
say on the podcast, do not memoir. If you are
not ready to memoir, exactly, just don't do it. Do
a cookbook.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Don't waste my time.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Be like, here's a style book, here's Living by Bet Midler, Like,
we don't need your memoir.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Here's a cookbook exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, you can't really fake it, but you did the
opposite of faking it with your memoir.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
It came out in June.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
It was called I shouldn't be telling you this, but
I'm going to anyway, and it's skyrocketed.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
To best seller status.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
You were traveling around the country wearing the pages of
your book as a dress that you made, which was
really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
It was actually the pages of my childhood journals. Because
there was a part in my book about a really
tough relationship I lived through that had violence in it
that the publishers wouldn't let me publish, and I, in
this moment of rage, I went back and realized that
they wouldn't let me write about it in the book,
but I'd already written about it in my teenage journals,
(08:24):
and so I wore the journal pages around my book
tour as my moment of just furious with the system.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
That's your resistance, so smart.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, could not be silenced.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Has the success of your memoir changed the way that
you see yourself or your story at all?
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Yeah? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yes. Whenever I was like reading memoirs on my podcast,
they would always write like Jane Fonna does it, Dolly Parton,
Brandy Carlile, Lonnie Anderson. They always wrote in the books,
this has changed my life, sharing my story has changed
my life, and I was like, I want some of that,
but I didn't know if it would happen, and it
fully did. I am now living in this place where
like fully giving everyone my most embarrassing I mean, I
(09:08):
really shared too much. It is so full of so
much shame and giving that over to people and still like,
all my friends are still my friends, and people still,
you know, love me. I feel like my brain pathways
have changed.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
So happy to hear that.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Also, this is a bit tangential, but one of my
favorite parts of your book is when you talk about
how you have like this Google doc basically of advice
that all of your friends have given, Like you're all
a part of it, and you thought when you were
coming up that you needed the perfect agent of the
(09:46):
perfect manager and then your career would pop off. And
really you realized that your friends are the people that
had the best career advice by far.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
And I found out there's actually a term for this,
maybe Ray I heard her speaking about it, but it's
called networking across.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Have you heard of this? Yeah, I love that quote.
I love that Easter Ray quote.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yeah, and I it was the same thing I was
saying except she said it so much better. But which
is that, like you always are looking up in life
you're like, oh, like let's say I don't know, let's
say you attended a Tina fe conference and you're like, god,
if I could just meet Tina Fey, and it's like, no,
who's sitting next to you. That's the person that's gonna
(10:28):
change your life. Who's going to go hand in hand
with you. Who's who's like in at your moment in
your career, And like my best friends have just like
been life changing in ways of like all the beautiful
emotional support, but also when you're like, hey, what's a
marketing idea? Like they have always had the better ideas
than like the I don't no offense to all the
(10:49):
fancy people with fancy designer bags. But I'm like I
was like, oh, they must know everything. And it's like no,
it's just like Michelle Obama said, you get to the
table and you're like they're just like me, what of?
And like I grew up pretty poor, so like what
a bummer?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Like?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I was like they must know everything. I was like, oh,
you've been dumb, just like me the whole time unbearabuch
a letdown.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yeah, it's time for a short break, but don't go anywhere.
We'll be right back to popping off with Chelsea Davantes.
And we're back with Chelsea Davantes.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
So one of my.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Favorite things that you do is on your Instagram stories.
You go through in US Weekly magazine and you talk
about outfits and you talk about them in a very
hilarious way, and then you make everybody judge whether, like,
which of the four you would wear. And I have
to tell you, I'm getting better at picking which one.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
You would wear.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
But in the vein of magazines, people magazines getting ready
to reveal it's twenty twenty four Sexiest Man Alive, which
is a big moment of the year always, and as
part of the lead up, they're doing something different releasing
a handful of sexiest lists. So it includes reader's choice
awards in a bunch of categories, including sexiest podcast Hosts, which.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Is very wow. I can't wait to find out if
it's us.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Yes, okay, the sexiest podcast hosts?
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Are you ready for this list? Unfortunately none of us
were on it.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Really, I feel like the three of us together do
make the sexiest podcast host. It's pretty hot over here.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
That's a red lipstick?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, okay, Travis and Jason Kelce and they beat out
Penn Badgely, Josh Peck and TJ Holmes.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
What do we think?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Lies?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Have they seen the mustache tricks Travis Kelsey is pulling lately.
He is going through so many accessories these days, bucket hats,
big mustache is tiny, Like, I don't know, I don't know.
I think it was maybe their charisma, not their hotness.
What do you guys think?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
I feel like it seems like these two brothers have
everyone in a choke hold right now. But there are
so many other contenders that I feel like could get
a little more airtime, you know, like who, Yeah, that's
a great question.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Ira Glass from This American Life, Stop this Sexy.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
It's also so funny to do sexiest podcast, Oh when
famously you don't know what they look like? It is
an audio medium.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Will Arnett in there from Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
So here's some other superlative categories. We have sexiest long
married person, which is just a really interestingly worded title
for that. But here are the contenders. Tim McGraw feed
out Denzel Kevin Bacon and Ted Danson.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I don't know how Ted Danson didn't win. I love
how we just give Denzel one name too. It's Denzel Washington.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Imagine if they did that for all the other names, Tim, Denzel, Kevin,
and Ted.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Yeah, thank you. That is such a good God.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
But I I agree with this award. I think Tim
McGraw is hot.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
I think he's sexy, and I love that he's still
in love with Faith.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Hill long marriage. I think Denzel it's Denzel like speaks
out and fights for his wife. Andy's so hot, and
he refused to kiss Julia robertson the Pelican Brief because
he's like, I'm a married man, so I think it
should have been him.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Okay, so here's some other categories. We have Sexiest gen X.
Shamar Moore beat out Benjamin Bratt, Ethan Hawk, and Matt Dylon.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah. I'm into this he too.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
I mean, yeah, who's not into Samar Moore. Also, Ethan
Hawk is super hot too.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I always was a Benjamin Benjamin Bratt.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, yeah, he is my choice in that list.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
You, Neil, I'm loving this for us. We don't always
go for the same guy, but Benjamin Bratt has.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Brought for Benjamin Bratt. Ladies simmer down.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Now, Okay, Chelsea hates my taste in men, but Benjamin
Bratt he agrees with, I'll sign off on him for you.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
We go go break up that marriage.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
So the Sexiest Man Alive the Top prize will be
revealed on November twelfth. Do you guys have any predictions
on who it's gonna be?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Yeah, it's always a PR stunt, so like who has
a movie or something coming out?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Like yeah, like who needs Oh god, I'm better not
be Brad Pitt. Oh he's trying to make his come
back with George Clooney by side, we better noted him again.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Okay, I have a theory it could be Glenn Powell,
but you're right, he doesn't have a I don't know
that he has like a project coming out that he'd
be promoting. I think it should go to a Pedro Pascal. Yes,
that's a big one.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Okay, hear me out, Pedro Pescal for every category?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yes, yes, I hear you, and I second you, and
I affirm that I love that.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
How about Keanu Reeves? That's a curveball, yes, uh, just
based on how he is carried himself in the press
the past thirty years. Give him all the away, No notes,
no no notes.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
Okay, y'all. Next up, we got to.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Talk about this headline in the New York Post that
had me really curious. So headline is a dating coach
reveals the juiciest secret to find mister Wright. Of course,
everyone has theories about how to find your person these days, right,
But there's this one dating coach in the UK named
Kayleie Cassel who says that she has actually two secrets
(16:28):
that she shares with her clients. She tells clients to
date at least three men at once, so I guess
she's referring to women who are in heterosexual relationships.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
And here's the kicker.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Her second tip is to abstain from sex while dating
to make sure you don't rush into what she calls
a chemical connection. Honestly, first time I'm hearing that term.
It's very interesting and there's a lot to unpack there.
So let's break this down. What do we think about this?
These two rules?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
My feminist politics to disagree, but my heart says yes
because this is exactly what I did. I didn't know
I was following a rule, but I do think I
do think dating multiple people or even just dates at
the same time makes sure you're not It helps you
(17:17):
make sure you're not gonna settle because you're not just
focused on one person. Because it's like when you watch
people go on The Bachelor and they're like, how did
they fall in love with them? There's only one person
for them to fall in love with, so they just
went for it. So it's like keep your options open
so that you're always assessing correctly. And I think you're
also putting your energy out there as like I am
ready and open for love and I am in control.
(17:37):
And then the sleeping with people thing, Yeah, I couldn't
do it because I'm such I was like, I'm gonna
sleep with everyone, this is my right, but like my
body was like I'm sensitive, Like if I do this,
I'm gonna think like I should definitely have coffee with
you tomorrow. And maybe that's not always true.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
That's really real, Chelsea, and I don't think people people have.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
The courage to talk about that a lot.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
So yeah, I think that's a very real perspective that
a lot of people share because I.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Think there's definitely women who can do it, Like who
can sleep with whoever. But I think if you can't,
you got to be honest with yourself and I, unfortunately
I'm just not one of them.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I sort of have an issue with all the dating
rules out there. I know this is a dating coach
who's like they're all doing their jobs, but there are
no The rule is there are no rules, Like that's
so true. It just I feel like you can't mess
things up with the right person, and you.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Just say, I'm going to disagree there. I think you
can totally mess things up there.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
You're saying, like if you sleep with someone on the
first date, like you think that's gonna mess it up.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Oh no, No, I don't think that.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
You know, Like, I feel like that doesn't matter as
long as it's it feels right to you.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I think that's right. Or you could wait fifty dates. Yeah,
there's no sex rules.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Also, like dating multiple people, if that works for you, great,
but like I get anxious that doesn't work for me.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
My theory behind this idea of dating multiple people at
once is you're kind of decentering like one specific person.
You know, you're not allowing one specific person to get
on a pedestal, like you said, Chelsea, you're entertaining multiple options.
You also have points of comparison like, oh, this person's
falling short in this area.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
This person is making up for that deficit here. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
So I do think there is something too not holding
it all so tightly, you know, like being able to
hold it a bit more loosely.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I really love that. And when I was doing this,
it was it was really about making myself the main character,
Like y'all are not the main character. I'm the main character,
Like what do I want in my life? And then
the moment I went on a first date with my
now husband, I was like, oh goodbye. Everyone never saw
anyone else again, only saw him. But like, I think
(19:54):
it was nice to have been on so many dates
to know, oh it's this.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Person, well this or my We have a TikTok that
I saw of a woman who was sharing that she
had done this one eight in her life and she
had decided to completely decenter and deprioritize men in her life.
And she was observing how it had shifted her friendships
and other relationships too, because after she made that decision
(20:21):
to you know, not obsess over men, like not talk
about them all the time. Like kind of applying the
Bechdel Tests to your own life. Right, she she found
that she didn't have as much in common with some
of her friends, or she felt like isolated by the
fact that she was making this choice to center herself
and become the main character. I thought that was so interesting,
(20:43):
Like in our society, we really do focus on dating
so much and focus on finding a partner so much,
we never really entertain what it would look like to
de center all of that. Anyways, thanks for coming to
my ted talk. You know what you can keep gone.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
I think the same thing applies to diet culture. Is
actually what it made me think of. If you're no
longer entertaining those conversations of like I look like this,
I should do this, Oh God we love this, right, Like,
you'll realize like that is something you have with certain friends.
You know that that removed that, like, I think, is
(21:20):
life changing that you no longer have like diet culture
as a center in your life, even if you don't
think you have it like you might if you're always
being like, oh, I shouldn't eat this, or we'll want
to split this, like decenter that, Yes, totally.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
What's the best piece of dating advice you've ever gotten, Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Well, it's difficult because most pieces of dating advice come
to you when you want everyone to drop dead. The
moment they say it to ye, like where you're like
like come on, like love, like love happens when you
least expect it. You're like, get out of my face,
Get out of my face.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
That's my least favorite one, and everybody that business me off.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
The best piece of advice, and it is a popular one,
but I do really look back on it and I'm
happy I did. It is to make a list of
the qualities you want. But there's a catch. You have
to be so specific. You cannot write funny because guess
what every man on tender would be like me, I funny, Like, no,
you're not You're not. So I remember on my list
I wrote sees a therapist currently has one or more
(22:23):
good male friends who he has emotional conversations with. Oh,
here's specific. So and those are the things that I
feel like. It was nice to know for me what
I like really needed, and then it was nice to
be able to make sure my partner had them.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
That's really cool.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I love the specificity of that.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Yeah, yeah, okay, here's my other existential broad question for
you all. If you had the chance to go back
in time and relive another age, would you take it
or would you rather stay right here.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Where you are? Danielle, you always have the best questions.
This is stunning, so nice.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
I can't take total credit because it's coming from a
new Tom Hanks movie that.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I want to discuss with you guys, But still I
love you. That's so sweet. Hmmm. I would want to
go back.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Just to.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Like I wrote about this in the end of my book,
where I was like, I wish me now, I could
have had me now when I was younger. I wish,
you know, and to have that like helping hands. So
I would go back in the way where you're like
justice for everything that went wrong. But I wouldn't actually
want to live it. I really love right now, see
(23:42):
money have I I think so?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
I think I would Charles dickens it. I think I
would do three visits oh, Past, Present future. I mean
there are certain things that I would certain time periods
that I would love to like dip in and dip
out of, Like love to dip into college for like
a day or two here and there, or my twenty
(24:06):
is living in New York City. There are certain time
periods that I would dip into, for sure.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I love that, Danielle.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Okay, I really agree with you, Chelsea. I actually was
thinking about this yesterday. Weirdly enough, I wish I could
go back to like twenty year old me, knowing what
I know now, and I think I would have saved
myself some experiences I'm not sure I needed to have,
or some lessons I don't know I needed to learn,
(24:35):
Like I don't know if I needed to learn everything
the hard way.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I co sign that.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
You guys are so earnest, It's so beautiful. I just
want to go back and party. No.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
When you said that, I was like, oh, that's fine.
Could you go back on like the one day when
there was a good party and like, yeah, come back
before that guy like goes you like, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Before my college boyfriend broke up with me on my
birthday on January fifteenth.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
Okay, there it is there.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
It is a hundre versent. Yeah, I live with tons
of regrets in the sense of like they're like, oh,
everything you go through makes you better.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I could cut half of this stuff out. Some things
don't need to happen. Hard agree, Hard agree, Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Well, the reason I asked you guys this very existential
question was Tom Hanks told People magazine that it was
fun to look young again. And what he meant by
that is that Tom Hanks and Robin Wright reunited for
the film Here, which spans decades as it follows the
same couple throughout their lives.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
But here's what's interesting.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Instead of casting younger actors to play the earlier versions
of Tom and Robin, the film used digital de aging
technology to make them appear as if they're in their
twenties and thirties. So, first of all, if you haven't
seen the images yet, please go into Google. It's wild.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
But he told people that it.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Was fun to be young again, and he mentioned that
transforming into a thirty five year old was the most
challenging part of the DA process. And he said that
at sixty eight, he's in better shape than ever. Hey
has more time for exercise, He's living healthier now than
he did when he was thirty five. Like his life
was moving so fast that he found it really hard
to be his best self. Is what I garnered from
(26:15):
his quote. Wow, I find this to be a very
male take really, I totally agree.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Yeah, just in that, like, if you're a man in Hollywood,
your career doesn't go away as you age, it often
only gets like better and fuller, and like that is
the opposite for women. So of course he's like, oh,
it's nice to be younger, but like I'm good now,
or as I feel like if you ask most women
in Hollywood, who would be like, yeah, there's a like
two parts a year for me, would you know, maybe
(26:43):
all reverse time. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Though I'm a hater, I do hear that, but I
also think it's refreshing to hear someone acknowledge how much
we shoulder in our mid thirties. I think of people
who are part of the Sandwich generation who have young
kids are also taking care of aging family members. I
think there is a unique burden that kind of falls
(27:08):
on you, especially if you become a parent during this
stage of life. I personally am amazed at my brain
and how much I can handle, like how many different
layers of tasks and responsibilities I can handle, And I
feel completely overwhelmed most of the time as a thirty
six year old mom, But I find myself overcoming it
(27:32):
and pushing through it.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
So maybe that's what he's referring to.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
That's retally nice.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Do you think that society is shifting to be more
age positive? I've heard better rhetoric in the last year.
Actually it's hard.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
The first thing I think of is like, obviously Jlo
being fifty four. However she's adhering, she's upholding really youthful standards.
But at the same time, it is changing your perception
of like what a fifty year old woman can be
like compared to like when the Golden Girls they were
like put her in a home at fifty, you know
what I mean. It's like so I think yes, in
(28:08):
like the most incremental, tiny way.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Well, it could be confirmation bias just hosting this podcast
because we have so many positive conversations with women who
like span age range someone do don't you think like
everybody we've had on that's fifty plus has talked about
how their lives have just gotten better. I don't know
if that's just like what they're supposed to say, but
(28:33):
they do say it.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
I do think that's true. We've had some incredible conversations
about that. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that I agree. I
feel like things are trending in the opposite direction. I
feel like we have a small resistance base who's kind
of like fighting the beast and trying to reinforce these
positive narratives around aging. But plastic surgery is getting even
more advanced and undetectable, and I think as the technology
(28:59):
continue is to advance and improve, I think we're going
to lose sight of what a natural face looks like,
you know, because it's the technology is only going to
become more accessible. So and listen, there's like, I'm not
like someone who's like judging people for plastic surgery, not
in the least, but I do think it's going to
change our baseline of what we think natural looks like.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
I totally agree with you, Simon.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Okay, well, on that note of plastic surgery, it's time
to end the show. Just kidding, Chelsea, thank you so
much for popping off with us and just always bringing
such candor and heart.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
You're really the best. I adore you both, and thank
you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Chelsea Devantees is a comedian, writer and the author of
I shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm going to.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Anyway, we have to take one more quick break. We'll
be right back. We're back, Okay, Simone, it's Friday. Let's
get ready for the weekend with a little What's in
your Cart presented by Walmart.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Welcome to your.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Walmart woof Danielle. I have been in my diy Ara recently.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I tell you what, Simone, I have been so impressed
watching your videos. I had no idea you were so handy.
I had no idea I was this handy too. I
mean to be honest, it's been a ton of trial
and error. It can be super challenging and frustrating, but
it's so rewarding when it's all done. Nobody tells you, though,
how many times you're going to run to the store
because you forgot something. So I have been going to
(30:34):
Walmart to get everything that I need for these projects.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
They have all the.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Power tools, the screws, the spackle that I need to
get these projects done and do it confidently.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Oh I'm inspired. You're gonna have to come over and help.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Me at my place anytime. Okay, Bessie's that's it for
today's show. Thanks to our partners at Walmart.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
On Monday, we're talking investment tools and tips for beginners
and pro alike. Sim Roncoor is joining us the founder
of Girls That Invest. Listen and follow The bright Side
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts. The bright Side is a production of Hello
Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts and is executive produced by Reese Witherspoon.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
Production by Arcana Audio. Our producers are Jessica Wenk and
Christa Ripple. Our senior producers are Itzy Kintania and Amy Padula.
Our engineer is PJ. Shahamat.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Arcana's executive producers are Francis Harlowe and Abby Ruzka.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Arcana's head of production is Matt Schultz.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Natalie Tulluck and Maureen Polo are the executive producers for
Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Julia Weaver is the supervising producer, and Ali Perry is
the executive producer for iHeart Podcasts. Tim Palazzola is our showrunner.
This week's episodes were recorded by Graham Gibson.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Our theme song is by Anna Stumpf and Hamilton lighthauser.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Special thanks to Connell Byrne and Will Pearson.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I'm Simone Boice. You can find me at Simone Voice
on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
And I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok. That's R
O B A Y.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
We'll see you Monday, y'all.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Keep looking on the bright side,
Hello Sunshine, Hey besties.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Today on the bright Side, we're popping off audition on
the biggest pop culture moments of the week with Emmy
nominated comedian and writer Chelsea Devantes. Who will be People's
Sexiest Man Alive this year? What is the secret to
a Lasting relationship? And Tom Hanks sparks a debate would
you travel back in time to experience life at a
younger age?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Again?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
It's Friday, November First, I'm Simone Boyce.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I'm Danielle Robe and this is the bright Side from
Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together to
share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day. Simone,
Happy day after Halloween. How was trick or treating with
your kiddos last night?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
It was so much fun.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Our neighborhood really gets into the decorations, so we always
have friends who come over and walk through the neighborhood
with us and do trick or treating together.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
So it was a blast. How about you. How is
your Halloween in New Orleans?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Well, you know, New Orleans is a little bit of
a mystical place, so Halloween here was especially spooky, which
I love. All the architecture here is like French and
Spanish and Creole, inspired from like the late seventeen hundreds,
early eighteen hundreds, and so it just really lends itself
to some spookiness and some spiderwebs.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You know. My favorite part of New Orleans is probably
the architecture. I just love sitting in those really old
restaurants and seeing like the crumbling layers of the walls
peeling back and you can see the patina underneath. And
then I also love those gas lanterns that are outside
of every building there. I always feel like I'm in
Pirates of the Caribbean whenever walking through New Orleans.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
It's so magical.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I thought of that movie yesterday. That's so funny that
you said that. The funny thing is my stomach cannot
take any more New Orleans breakfast. I need some green juice,
I need some egg whites.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I really the grits. I didn't grow up on these.
I'm on the struggle bus right now, Danielle.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I can't believe it's already the beginning of a new month.
This week alone, we've had so many wonderful conversations. It
feels like we just talked about ghosting with Sabrina Zohar
one of my favorite guests.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah, her story about being ghosted by someone that she
dated for six weeks and then running into that guy
on the streets of New York had me shook. Also
someone There was an interview this week that I learned
so much from while we were recording it, but I
actually learned a lot listening back, and that was with
the millennial therapist, doctor Sarah Kubrick. Her thoughts on how
(02:35):
we can take responsibility for ourselves and who we want
to be in the world was really resonant. I love
how like basically she was talking about how your insides
should and can match your outsides.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
I love that phrase. Danielle so good.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I also love doctor Kubrick's comment about how she remains
mindful to never over commit to a single version of
herself and just create space to grow one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
We also had our first ever Halloween episode with comedian
Lauren Lapkiz our spooky ghost story loving podcast hosts.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
It really is wild that this is our first Halloween episode, Like,
that's how long we've been on the air. In March,
it'll be a year, all right, besties, we are about
to pop off with Chelsea devantees. But before we do,
it's time to spotlight our favorite moment of the week,
and today's spotlight goes to actor and director Anna Kendrick.
If you've been on Netflix recently, you may have seen
(03:30):
her starring in the film Woman of the Hour, which
has been streamed more than twenty three million times to date. Well,
this past week, we learned that she donated her salary
from the film, which she also directed to two organizations
that are working to combat sexual violence and abuse.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
In a little context here if you haven't seen the film,
it's inspired by one woman's real life encounter with serial
killer Rodney Alcala on the TV show The Dating Game
back in the seventies, and the movie also tracks the
lives of several other women impacted by him during his
year's long killing spree. So in an interview with Serious XM,
Anna Kendrick actually shared that she felt gross accepting money
(04:08):
for telling the stories of al Calla's victims and decided
to donate her salary to RAIN and the National Center
for Victims of Crime, saying it was the least she
could do.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
This is actually really inspiring to me. It's just really
refreshing to see someone with that much money, acclaim and
power who's willing to give so much too?
Speaker 4 (04:29):
Like, what a generous move?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Okay, Vesti's we're flipping the script a little bit.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
It's time to.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Pop off with our good friend Chelsea Devantes.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Chelsea, welcome back to the bright Side. I'm so happy
to be here. I missed you all. Did you miss me?
We missed you so much. Good. I know you're doing
like lots of shows, but did you miss my show? Specifically?
Speaker 4 (04:50):
I haven't been able to get it out of my mind?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Honestly, thank you, thank you. We argued about Ratman Hot
Ratman on that episode, so.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
How could no one for get?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
We're actually kind of gonna argue about men again today
on this show.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Maybe not Ratman. Can I be her argue about men? Correspondent,
the mayor of arguing about men? Correspondent Chelsea wants, I love.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
It, sounds incredibly official.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
I like it a lot, Okay, Chelsea.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
On your podcast, you talk all about celebrity memoirs, and
we heard this week that Tina Knowles is releasing a memoir.
What's your initial reaction to this? What are you hoping
to see? What do you think she's gonna cover.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Okay, first off, I'm so excited. This is huge. This
is like a mini super Bowl memoir, Like Share is
the super Bowl. Her memoir comes out in a month,
and we're recapping on the podcast. But then Tina's gonna
She's another super Bowl. Here's what I want to be
in the memoir. I need details on the first marriage.
I need a photo section of only the outfits that
(05:52):
she sewed for Destiny's Child, and I want her to
point out in every outfit how she made Beyonce specifically
look the best in every single, because she did.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Every time I hear about Beyonce's story, and not just
the clips that we all have seen online, but when
I hear any sort of excerpts of people who talked
about them growing up and like Tina having her hair
salon and the Destiny's Child girls, like dancing and performing
and practicing in there, I think about how Tina was
(06:24):
the og. There are a lot of stories that we
have not heard because Beyonce's so private, Like do you
think that she's sort of just like sanctioned final cut
on the memoir?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Right?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Right? That is such a good point, Like what will
Beyonce let her mom share Chelsea.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Who's someone that you really want to see a memoir from?
Who has a published.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Always Rihanna, It'll never come. I'm giving us an album,
so I know that's not coming. But the one that
I think people never think about is Sandra Bullock, who
is both y'all's like, this is the memoir I need?
How about Goldie Hahn, she has one. How about Bet Midler.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I'm gonna do the third cast member of First One.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Now, that is a memoir we need, Yes, yeah, we
need that. We need that bad lady m give it
to us. I'm going to go with Tracy Elis ross
Ooh yeah, oh my god, child of Diana.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
The Stories we love. An honest memoir we do.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
You gotta go there. If yeah, this is what I
say on the podcast, do not memoir. If you are
not ready to memoir, exactly, just don't do it. Do
a cookbook.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Don't waste my time.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Be like, here's a style book, here's Living by Bet Midler, Like,
we don't need your memoir.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Here's a cookbook exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, you can't really fake it, but you did the
opposite of faking it with your memoir.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
It came out in June.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
It was called I shouldn't be telling you this, but
I'm going to anyway, and it's skyrocketed.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
To best seller status.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
You were traveling around the country wearing the pages of
your book as a dress that you made, which was
really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
It was actually the pages of my childhood journals. Because
there was a part in my book about a really
tough relationship I lived through that had violence in it
that the publishers wouldn't let me publish, and I, in
this moment of rage, I went back and realized that
they wouldn't let me write about it in the book,
but I'd already written about it in my teenage journals,
(08:24):
and so I wore the journal pages around my book
tour as my moment of just furious with the system.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
That's your resistance, so smart.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, could not be silenced.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Has the success of your memoir changed the way that
you see yourself or your story at all?
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Yeah? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yes. Whenever I was like reading memoirs on my podcast,
they would always write like Jane Fonna does it, Dolly Parton,
Brandy Carlile, Lonnie Anderson. They always wrote in the books,
this has changed my life, sharing my story has changed
my life, and I was like, I want some of that,
but I didn't know if it would happen, and it
fully did. I am now living in this place where
like fully giving everyone my most embarrassing I mean, I
(09:08):
really shared too much. It is so full of so
much shame and giving that over to people and still like,
all my friends are still my friends, and people still,
you know, love me. I feel like my brain pathways
have changed.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
So happy to hear that.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Also, this is a bit tangential, but one of my
favorite parts of your book is when you talk about
how you have like this Google doc basically of advice
that all of your friends have given, Like you're all
a part of it, and you thought when you were
coming up that you needed the perfect agent of the
(09:46):
perfect manager and then your career would pop off. And
really you realized that your friends are the people that
had the best career advice by far.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
And I found out there's actually a term for this,
maybe Ray I heard her speaking about it, but it's
called networking across.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Have you heard of this? Yeah, I love that quote.
I love that Easter Ray quote.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yeah, and I it was the same thing I was
saying except she said it so much better. But which
is that, like you always are looking up in life
you're like, oh, like let's say I don't know, let's
say you attended a Tina fe conference and you're like, god,
if I could just meet Tina Fey, and it's like, no,
who's sitting next to you. That's the person that's gonna
(10:28):
change your life. Who's going to go hand in hand
with you. Who's who's like in at your moment in
your career, And like my best friends have just like
been life changing in ways of like all the beautiful
emotional support, but also when you're like, hey, what's a
marketing idea? Like they have always had the better ideas
than like the I don't no offense to all the
(10:49):
fancy people with fancy designer bags. But I'm like I
was like, oh, they must know everything. And it's like no,
it's just like Michelle Obama said, you get to the
table and you're like they're just like me, what of?
And like I grew up pretty poor, so like what
a bummer?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Like?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I was like they must know everything. I was like, oh,
you've been dumb, just like me the whole time unbearabuch
a letdown.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yeah, it's time for a short break, but don't go anywhere.
We'll be right back to popping off with Chelsea Davantes.
And we're back with Chelsea Davantes.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
So one of my.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Favorite things that you do is on your Instagram stories.
You go through in US Weekly magazine and you talk
about outfits and you talk about them in a very
hilarious way, and then you make everybody judge whether, like,
which of the four you would wear. And I have
to tell you, I'm getting better at picking which one.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
You would wear.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
But in the vein of magazines, people magazines getting ready
to reveal it's twenty twenty four Sexiest Man Alive, which
is a big moment of the year always, and as
part of the lead up, they're doing something different releasing
a handful of sexiest lists. So it includes reader's choice
awards in a bunch of categories, including sexiest podcast Hosts, which.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Is very wow. I can't wait to find out if
it's us.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Yes, okay, the sexiest podcast hosts?
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Are you ready for this list? Unfortunately none of us
were on it.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Really, I feel like the three of us together do
make the sexiest podcast host. It's pretty hot over here.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
That's a red lipstick?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, okay, Travis and Jason Kelce and they beat out
Penn Badgely, Josh Peck and TJ Holmes.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
What do we think?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Lies?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Have they seen the mustache tricks Travis Kelsey is pulling lately.
He is going through so many accessories these days, bucket hats,
big mustache is tiny, Like, I don't know, I don't know.
I think it was maybe their charisma, not their hotness.
What do you guys think?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
I feel like it seems like these two brothers have
everyone in a choke hold right now. But there are
so many other contenders that I feel like could get
a little more airtime, you know, like who, Yeah, that's
a great question.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Ira Glass from This American Life, Stop this Sexy.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
It's also so funny to do sexiest podcast, Oh when
famously you don't know what they look like? It is
an audio medium.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Will Arnett in there from Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
So here's some other superlative categories. We have sexiest long
married person, which is just a really interestingly worded title
for that. But here are the contenders. Tim McGraw feed
out Denzel Kevin Bacon and Ted Danson.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I don't know how Ted Danson didn't win. I love
how we just give Denzel one name too. It's Denzel Washington.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Imagine if they did that for all the other names, Tim, Denzel, Kevin,
and Ted.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Yeah, thank you. That is such a good God.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
But I I agree with this award. I think Tim
McGraw is hot.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
I think he's sexy, and I love that he's still
in love with Faith.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Hill long marriage. I think Denzel it's Denzel like speaks
out and fights for his wife. Andy's so hot, and
he refused to kiss Julia robertson the Pelican Brief because
he's like, I'm a married man, so I think it
should have been him.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Okay, so here's some other categories. We have Sexiest gen X.
Shamar Moore beat out Benjamin Bratt, Ethan Hawk, and Matt Dylon.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah. I'm into this he too.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
I mean, yeah, who's not into Samar Moore. Also, Ethan
Hawk is super hot too.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I always was a Benjamin Benjamin Bratt.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, yeah, he is my choice in that list.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
You, Neil, I'm loving this for us. We don't always
go for the same guy, but Benjamin Bratt has.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Brought for Benjamin Bratt. Ladies simmer down.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Now, Okay, Chelsea hates my taste in men, but Benjamin
Bratt he agrees with, I'll sign off on him for you.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
We go go break up that marriage.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
So the Sexiest Man Alive the Top prize will be
revealed on November twelfth. Do you guys have any predictions
on who it's gonna be?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Yeah, it's always a PR stunt, so like who has
a movie or something coming out?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Like yeah, like who needs Oh god, I'm better not
be Brad Pitt. Oh he's trying to make his come
back with George Clooney by side, we better noted him again.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Okay, I have a theory it could be Glenn Powell,
but you're right, he doesn't have a I don't know
that he has like a project coming out that he'd
be promoting. I think it should go to a Pedro Pascal. Yes,
that's a big one.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Okay, hear me out, Pedro Pescal for every category?
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yes, yes, I hear you, and I second you, and
I affirm that I love that.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
How about Keanu Reeves? That's a curveball, yes, uh, just
based on how he is carried himself in the press
the past thirty years. Give him all the away, No notes,
no no notes.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
Okay, y'all. Next up, we got to.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Talk about this headline in the New York Post that
had me really curious. So headline is a dating coach
reveals the juiciest secret to find mister Wright. Of course,
everyone has theories about how to find your person these days, right,
But there's this one dating coach in the UK named
Kayleie Cassel who says that she has actually two secrets
(16:28):
that she shares with her clients. She tells clients to
date at least three men at once, so I guess
she's referring to women who are in heterosexual relationships.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
And here's the kicker.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Her second tip is to abstain from sex while dating
to make sure you don't rush into what she calls
a chemical connection. Honestly, first time I'm hearing that term.
It's very interesting and there's a lot to unpack there.
So let's break this down. What do we think about this?
These two rules?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
My feminist politics to disagree, but my heart says yes
because this is exactly what I did. I didn't know
I was following a rule, but I do think I
do think dating multiple people or even just dates at
the same time makes sure you're not It helps you
(17:17):
make sure you're not gonna settle because you're not just
focused on one person. Because it's like when you watch
people go on The Bachelor and they're like, how did
they fall in love with them? There's only one person
for them to fall in love with, so they just
went for it. So it's like keep your options open
so that you're always assessing correctly. And I think you're
also putting your energy out there as like I am
ready and open for love and I am in control.
(17:37):
And then the sleeping with people thing, Yeah, I couldn't
do it because I'm such I was like, I'm gonna
sleep with everyone, this is my right, but like my
body was like I'm sensitive, Like if I do this,
I'm gonna think like I should definitely have coffee with
you tomorrow. And maybe that's not always true.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
That's really real, Chelsea, and I don't think people people have.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
The courage to talk about that a lot.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
So yeah, I think that's a very real perspective that
a lot of people share because I.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Think there's definitely women who can do it, Like who
can sleep with whoever. But I think if you can't,
you got to be honest with yourself and I, unfortunately
I'm just not one of them.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I sort of have an issue with all the dating
rules out there. I know this is a dating coach
who's like they're all doing their jobs, but there are
no The rule is there are no rules, Like that's
so true. It just I feel like you can't mess
things up with the right person, and you.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Just say, I'm going to disagree there. I think you
can totally mess things up there.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
You're saying, like if you sleep with someone on the
first date, like you think that's gonna mess it up.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Oh no, No, I don't think that.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
You know, Like, I feel like that doesn't matter as
long as it's it feels right to you.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I think that's right. Or you could wait fifty dates. Yeah,
there's no sex rules.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
I don't think.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Also, like dating multiple people, if that works for you, great,
but like I get anxious that doesn't work for me.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
My theory behind this idea of dating multiple people at
once is you're kind of decentering like one specific person.
You know, you're not allowing one specific person to get
on a pedestal, like you said, Chelsea, you're entertaining multiple options.
You also have points of comparison like, oh, this person's
falling short in this area.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
This person is making up for that deficit here. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
So I do think there is something too not holding
it all so tightly, you know, like being able to
hold it a bit more loosely.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I really love that. And when I was doing this,
it was it was really about making myself the main character,
Like y'all are not the main character. I'm the main character,
Like what do I want in my life? And then
the moment I went on a first date with my
now husband, I was like, oh goodbye. Everyone never saw
anyone else again, only saw him. But like, I think
(19:54):
it was nice to have been on so many dates
to know, oh it's this.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Person, well this or my We have a TikTok that
I saw of a woman who was sharing that she
had done this one eight in her life and she
had decided to completely decenter and deprioritize men in her life.
And she was observing how it had shifted her friendships
and other relationships too, because after she made that decision
(20:21):
to you know, not obsess over men, like not talk
about them all the time. Like kind of applying the
Bechdel Tests to your own life. Right, she she found
that she didn't have as much in common with some
of her friends, or she felt like isolated by the
fact that she was making this choice to center herself
and become the main character. I thought that was so interesting,
(20:43):
Like in our society, we really do focus on dating
so much and focus on finding a partner so much,
we never really entertain what it would look like to
de center all of that. Anyways, thanks for coming to
my ted talk. You know what you can keep gone.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
I think the same thing applies to diet culture. Is
actually what it made me think of. If you're no
longer entertaining those conversations of like I look like this,
I should do this, Oh God we love this, right, Like,
you'll realize like that is something you have with certain friends.
You know that that removed that, like, I think, is
(21:20):
life changing that you no longer have like diet culture
as a center in your life, even if you don't
think you have it like you might if you're always
being like, oh, I shouldn't eat this, or we'll want
to split this, like decenter that, Yes, totally.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
What's the best piece of dating advice you've ever gotten, Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Well, it's difficult because most pieces of dating advice come
to you when you want everyone to drop dead. The
moment they say it to ye, like where you're like
like come on, like love, like love happens when you
least expect it. You're like, get out of my face,
Get out of my face.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
That's my least favorite one, and everybody that business me off.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
The best piece of advice, and it is a popular one,
but I do really look back on it and I'm
happy I did. It is to make a list of
the qualities you want. But there's a catch. You have
to be so specific. You cannot write funny because guess
what every man on tender would be like me, I funny, Like, no,
you're not You're not. So I remember on my list
I wrote sees a therapist currently has one or more
(22:23):
good male friends who he has emotional conversations with. Oh,
here's specific. So and those are the things that I
feel like. It was nice to know for me what
I like really needed, and then it was nice to
be able to make sure my partner had them.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
That's really cool.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I love the specificity of that.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Yeah, yeah, okay, here's my other existential broad question for
you all. If you had the chance to go back
in time and relive another age, would you take it
or would you rather stay right here.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Where you are? Danielle, you always have the best questions.
This is stunning, so nice.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
I can't take total credit because it's coming from a
new Tom Hanks movie that.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I want to discuss with you guys, But still I
love you. That's so sweet. Hmmm. I would want to
go back.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Just to.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Like I wrote about this in the end of my book,
where I was like, I wish me now, I could
have had me now when I was younger. I wish,
you know, and to have that like helping hands. So
I would go back in the way where you're like
justice for everything that went wrong. But I wouldn't actually
want to live it. I really love right now, see
(23:42):
money have I I think so?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
I think I would Charles dickens it. I think I
would do three visits oh, Past, Present future. I mean
there are certain things that I would certain time periods
that I would love to like dip in and dip
out of, Like love to dip into college for like
a day or two here and there, or my twenty
(24:06):
is living in New York City. There are certain time
periods that I would dip into, for sure.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
I love that, Danielle.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Okay, I really agree with you, Chelsea. I actually was
thinking about this yesterday. Weirdly enough, I wish I could
go back to like twenty year old me, knowing what
I know now, and I think I would have saved
myself some experiences I'm not sure I needed to have,
or some lessons I don't know I needed to learn,
(24:35):
Like I don't know if I needed to learn everything
the hard way.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I co sign that.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
You guys are so earnest, It's so beautiful. I just
want to go back and party. No.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
When you said that, I was like, oh, that's fine.
Could you go back on like the one day when
there was a good party and like, yeah, come back
before that guy like goes you like, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Before my college boyfriend broke up with me on my
birthday on January fifteenth.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
Okay, there it is there.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
It is a hundre versent. Yeah, I live with tons
of regrets in the sense of like they're like, oh,
everything you go through makes you better.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I could cut half of this stuff out. Some things
don't need to happen. Hard agree, Hard agree, Chelsea.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Well, the reason I asked you guys this very existential
question was Tom Hanks told People magazine that it was
fun to look young again. And what he meant by
that is that Tom Hanks and Robin Wright reunited for
the film Here, which spans decades as it follows the
same couple throughout their lives.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
But here's what's interesting.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Instead of casting younger actors to play the earlier versions
of Tom and Robin, the film used digital de aging
technology to make them appear as if they're in their
twenties and thirties. So, first of all, if you haven't
seen the images yet, please go into Google. It's wild.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
But he told people that it.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Was fun to be young again, and he mentioned that
transforming into a thirty five year old was the most
challenging part of the DA process. And he said that
at sixty eight, he's in better shape than ever. Hey
has more time for exercise, He's living healthier now than
he did when he was thirty five. Like his life
was moving so fast that he found it really hard
to be his best self. Is what I garnered from
(26:15):
his quote. Wow, I find this to be a very
male take really, I totally agree.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Yeah, just in that, like, if you're a man in Hollywood,
your career doesn't go away as you age, it often
only gets like better and fuller, and like that is
the opposite for women. So of course he's like, oh,
it's nice to be younger, but like I'm good now,
or as I feel like if you ask most women
in Hollywood, who would be like, yeah, there's a like
two parts a year for me, would you know, maybe
(26:43):
all reverse time. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Though I'm a hater, I do hear that, but I
also think it's refreshing to hear someone acknowledge how much
we shoulder in our mid thirties. I think of people
who are part of the Sandwich generation who have young
kids are also taking care of aging family members. I
think there is a unique burden that kind of falls
(27:08):
on you, especially if you become a parent during this
stage of life. I personally am amazed at my brain
and how much I can handle, like how many different
layers of tasks and responsibilities I can handle, And I
feel completely overwhelmed most of the time as a thirty
six year old mom, But I find myself overcoming it
(27:32):
and pushing through it.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
So maybe that's what he's referring to.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
That's retally nice.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Do you think that society is shifting to be more
age positive? I've heard better rhetoric in the last year.
Actually it's hard.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
The first thing I think of is like, obviously Jlo
being fifty four. However she's adhering, she's upholding really youthful standards.
But at the same time, it is changing your perception
of like what a fifty year old woman can be
like compared to like when the Golden Girls they were
like put her in a home at fifty, you know
what I mean. It's like so I think yes, in
(28:08):
like the most incremental, tiny way.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Well, it could be confirmation bias just hosting this podcast
because we have so many positive conversations with women who
like span age range someone do don't you think like
everybody we've had on that's fifty plus has talked about
how their lives have just gotten better. I don't know
if that's just like what they're supposed to say, but
(28:33):
they do say it.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
I do think that's true. We've had some incredible conversations
about that. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that I agree. I
feel like things are trending in the opposite direction. I
feel like we have a small resistance base who's kind
of like fighting the beast and trying to reinforce these
positive narratives around aging. But plastic surgery is getting even
more advanced and undetectable, and I think as the technology
(28:59):
continue is to advance and improve, I think we're going
to lose sight of what a natural face looks like,
you know, because it's the technology is only going to
become more accessible. So and listen, there's like, I'm not
like someone who's like judging people for plastic surgery, not
in the least, but I do think it's going to
change our baseline of what we think natural looks like.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
I totally agree with you, Simon.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Okay, well, on that note of plastic surgery, it's time
to end the show. Just kidding, Chelsea, thank you so
much for popping off with us and just always bringing
such candor and heart.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
You're really the best. I adore you both, and thank
you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Chelsea Devantees is a comedian, writer and the author of
I shouldn't be telling you this, but I'm going to.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Anyway, we have to take one more quick break. We'll
be right back. We're back, Okay, Simone, it's Friday. Let's
get ready for the weekend with a little What's in
your Cart presented by Walmart.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Welcome to your.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Walmart woof Danielle. I have been in my diy Ara recently.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I tell you what, Simone, I have been so impressed
watching your videos. I had no idea you were so handy.
I had no idea I was this handy too. I
mean to be honest, it's been a ton of trial
and error. It can be super challenging and frustrating, but
it's so rewarding when it's all done. Nobody tells you, though,
how many times you're going to run to the store
because you forgot something. So I have been going to
(30:34):
Walmart to get everything that I need for these projects.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
They have all the.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Power tools, the screws, the spackle that I need to
get these projects done and do it confidently.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Oh I'm inspired. You're gonna have to come over and help.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Me at my place anytime. Okay, Bessie's that's it for
today's show. Thanks to our partners at Walmart.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
On Monday, we're talking investment tools and tips for beginners
and pro alike. Sim Roncoor is joining us the founder
of Girls That Invest. Listen and follow The bright Side
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts. The bright Side is a production of Hello
Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts and is executive produced by Reese Witherspoon.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
Production by Arcana Audio. Our producers are Jessica Wenk and
Christa Ripple. Our senior producers are Itzy Kintania and Amy Padula.
Our engineer is PJ. Shahamat.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Arcana's executive producers are Francis Harlowe and Abby Ruzka.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Arcana's head of production is Matt Schultz.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
Natalie Tulluck and Maureen Polo are the executive producers for
Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Julia Weaver is the supervising producer, and Ali Perry is
the executive producer for iHeart Podcasts. Tim Palazzola is our showrunner.
This week's episodes were recorded by Graham Gibson.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Our theme song is by Anna Stumpf and Hamilton lighthauser.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Special thanks to Connell Byrne and Will Pearson.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I'm Simone Boice. You can find me at Simone Voice
on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
And I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok. That's R
O B A Y.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
We'll see you Monday, y'all.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Keep looking on the bright side,
Host
Simone Boyce
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