June 24, 2026 • 41 mins
Lauren Lapkus is a legend in the podcast game, making dozens of legendary appearances as a handful of different colorful characters. But now, she’s sitting down with Danielle to share true (and embarrassing) childhood stories that built who she is today!
The Stuart Can’t Save the Universe star admits to immaculately maintained collections of rubber animals, pencils and soaps, while reliving the moment she came face to face with Princess Diana (the actual person, not the Beanie Baby).
Plus, Lauren was a good kid - but when she got in trouble…she found TROUBLE. Hear all about it on an all-new Teen Beat!
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
That's all. That's okay because no one here.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Is Hello, residents of Beet Street. Oh wah, I like
that one. I'll just put that one in my back pocket.
It could stick. This is teen Beat, and I'm your host.
Daniel Fischel, a now adult who was a then child
watching her own teenage years pass by on a weekly
national TV show airing in front of millions of strangers,
(00:48):
and so now for a living, I sit with interesting
people who have done interesting things to learn about their
upbringings and the unavoidable bumpy roads to maturity we all
encounter on or off camera, because we all know that
our past might not be identical, but it is always
a roadmap for our present and our future. I experienced
(01:09):
my awkward phases in pimple breakouts as part of ABC's
TGIF lineup. So I see it like this. I gave
you my childhood. It's time we hear yours. And this week,
not only am I talking to one of the funniest
people on the planet, she's one of my all time
favorite humans on it too. You see, sometimes I have
(01:29):
to pretend my guest is a friend, but really we
just met thirty seconds before we pressed the record button
and only talked if they wanted to later. But today
she's a bestie. She's a podcast legend with way more
than ten thousand hilarious hours available online. But you've also
seen this improv master on shows like Good Girls, Kroll
Show Comedy, Bang Bang, Orange Is the New Black, and
(01:51):
The Big Bang Theory, and in movies like Between Two
Ferns and Jurassic World. But most notably, she was the
titular character in a COVID era common that Marlon Wayans
just called the most underrated movie of all time, The
Wrong Missy. And now you'll see her in the brand
new genre bending spinoff of The Big Bang Theory, Stewart
(02:14):
Fails to Save the Universe, debuting July twenty third on
HBO Max. She can be Tracy Reardon or Ho Ho
the Ell for Big Sue or Todd or Whitney peeps,
but today she's my newest teen beat guest. Please say
hello to a hilarious real life pal, Lauren Lapkins.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Oh my gosh, that was such a nice intro.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Well, we like to really sweeten the pot we started,
you know, that was actually like a very nice, well rounded,
well rounded Yeah, good, Well, you have quite an illustrious career,
lots of lots of things to cover. I feel like
I have been looking forward to this episode for a
long time, even since before I knew I had this podcast.
I just have been excited to hear about what made
(02:57):
Lauren Lapus become Lauren Lapis. So thank you for hanging out.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Thank you for having me. I love this podcast. I
am a listener and I highly enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
So that really means a lot because you don't have
a whole lot of time.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
You know.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I like to have one in my ear while I'm
doing anything or playing with my children. Smart smart ult test.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah, that's how Jensen is. Jensen always is listening to something,
and I find I just crave silence.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, any chance I get Sometimes I want that like
car drive of like American Psycho, just like nothing right.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah. So first, I know you were recently in Mexico
City to promote your new show, Stuart Fails at Saving
the Universe, and I wanted to ask you about your
big night at CMLL the Incredible Lucha Wrestling Federation in Mexico.
Can we say you've been converted into a wrestling than
my god?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Well, I know you're a big fan and I loved it.
It was so fun. It was so theatrical. Oh yeah,
I didn't really know what to expect. I've never been
to like any like WWF, Thank you is doing it wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I knew your Old Wildlife Federation is the WWF. Now
they get into it. Oh, but it used to be FEN.
We were used to be and then and then basically
the World Wildlife Foundation was like give us back.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Amazing.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Okay, So when I was I remember being eighth grade
and watching the Rock at my friend's house and that
was like really she was super into it. And I
got it a little bit then but never really like
got hooked. But this was like really fun. I mean,
the audience was going insane. It was the loudest thing
I've ever attended. Like, the women were amazing. That was
almost my favorite part. They were just throwing themselves all
(04:36):
over and they fly out of the ring. I don't
know how they're not injured, Like I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I think that every time I see someone go out
of the ring, like for some reason in the ring,
even though I know it hurts in there too in
the ring, I'm like, okay, so that's what that's made
for out of the ring. That's not what that's made for.
How are you landing on your shoulder?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I don't know. And I also feel like this, I
do you think lute libri is more comical than it is?
Speaker 5 (05:02):
Definitely more hyperbolic, bigger, and then like we do a
tumble and flip over each other and like never touch
or whatever, and like it's kind of like circus, yes,
a little bit, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Little like circus. It's so much fun. Truly, what you
just mentioned about it being loud and the crowd being
so into it. That's actually the thing that made me
refall in love with with wrestling when I got back
into it around twenty seventeen, is that I was enjoying
the theatrics and the athleticism of what I was watching,
but the fact that the audience is just as much
(05:37):
of a character in the storyline with the chance.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
And like who's the bad guy?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah, the good guys.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
They're all on the same page.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And everyone reason. They know, they know what to say,
and they you know, the minute somebody holds up their hands,
they know what chant to do. I loved all of
them very cool, so much so that's kind of the
thing that hooks me for sure.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I think people hear you on podcasts like Freedom or
Comedy Bang Bang and immediately wonder what you were like
as a kid. Will you tell me about teenage, Lauren Lapiz?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Yeah, okay, so what do you want to do?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
High school? Middle school? I guess it's all kind of
the same. I mean I feel like I got glasses
when I was in second grade, which I think is
important to note. So I had glasses for most of
my child.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I love a child with glasses. It's the greatest thing.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
It's really cute. I mean it's very cute. I think
as that person, it's kind of like funny. I really
think of it like as like I'm in nerried, but
like there is like a glasses thing, and so it's
my glass always dirty or like you know, it wasn't
like taking care of my glass, right.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
It's kid crooked or like some care of anything.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
So that's just to give you a little And I
always had crooked bangs, which maybe it's I still do.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Did you cut your own bank?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
No, my mom would cut them sometimes and that would
be like they just the scissors just going in a wave.
I don't know. I cut my daughter's bangs now, and
I do know how to do it with just going up.
Oh there's me. Oh yeah, you had white glasses your snow,
those are fake.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Oh okay, they are a little large for your face.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
But boy, no, that's a cute picture that really looks
like it does.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Yeah, yeah, I know my kids look a lot like
me when I was little. It's so crazy, but I
you know, I got into like wanting to do plays
when I was like fourth or fifth grade and we
had a local children's like community theater kind of stuff,
and I did some plays and so I did Beating
the Beast, and I didn't get any like main part
they wrote apart for me where I was like the
mother wolf with like a little husband and a baby wolf.
(07:33):
And then we kind of came out and did like
a little bit of improv Really, we didn't really have
like set things that we were saying every.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Time, right they made for you.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Yeah, we kind of were like improvising and then we'd
get laughs, and so it was very addictive, and I
feel like that's how I started wanting to perform.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Wow. Wait, I would just like to comment on what
a compliment it is that they were like this this
girl will not fit into the box of one of
the characters, but she's so creative. Not even give her
a lot. We're just gonna let her say whatever she
wants and I bet it'll be good.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
That's that is nice. Yeah, that's a nicer way to
think of it. I was like I didn't get any
of the parts.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Like they were like, we can't put this girl in
a box. Let's let her create her own thing.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah. So I did that, and then I started doing like,
you know, whatever plays. But then, like you know, in
high school, my dream was like be in every plan.
I didn't get into any play. So I was just
like class clown, like always making jokes, always talking in class. Okay,
I started doing like improv in high school and that's
where I found my voice more. But like it was
I think like class clown was kind of my identity
(08:33):
for like most of her middle school high school, just
like shouting something out to the subject right right, and
then the teacher usually liked it too. So I feel
like I never really got in trouble. It was always
like funny enough that I skated.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
By that that's great. I was always in trouble because
I also couldn't stop talking. But none of the things
I were saying were funny, and I was whispering them
the person next to me, and so they were always
just like, stop your hearing. I should have taken a
cue from you for sure. When you say you started
improv in high school, did they have Did your high
school have an improv class?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
We had?
Speaker 3 (09:04):
So we had like an improv company that was like independent,
and I got into that eventually. But I had a
teacher who told me to take improv classes in Chicago.
I grew U outside of Chicago and evan'st Illinois, and
he was like, you should take classes at improve Olympic
because they have no age limit. I think that was
the reason because at Second City you had to be
you had to do teen classes. And he suggested that
(09:26):
I just not do that but go with the adults. Wow.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
And so how old were you? I was a senior,
so I was eighteen.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
But like it was really, I mean, it was like
that changed everything because once I was doing that, I
didn't really I had like a separate life, right which
I you know, I was meeting all these these new
people and I was nervous and I would like just
go to these classes with like twenty four year olds
and be like, well, I went to prom like I
just I don't even know like what I was talking about.
I felt like I had nothing to offer. Also, so
(09:53):
I would get like self conscious, like they don't want
to hear my thing, or like I don't even know
how to improvise because I only know.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
What a teenager knows, right.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
But then that was really important for me because it
showed me that like, literally anyone is interesting and like
everyone has something to say, and it's interesting that I'm
eighteen because they are not that anymore and now they're like,
what's your experience now? And so it's cool. It was
like it just changed everything for me and also gave
me that confidence of like performing and not needing someone
to say yes to me because I wouldn't get into
(10:21):
the shows I got into like the Sketch Show every year,
but I wouldn't get into like any play, and so
I was always crying about that and feeling so awful.
But then it was like, oh, I have this other
outlet and I don't need that.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I mean, I'm so impressed by that because I was
thinking about how that's kind of a little bit like
a college situation where now you have your own life.
But the difference is, like you mentioned, and in college,
everyone has the shared experience of we're all here at
this same college. We're all within three to four years
of each other. You being in high school freshly eighteen, Yeah,
(10:51):
with people and probably their twenties and thirties.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Yeah, there's like a lawyer there, you know. It's like, right,
you have a job.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
He's like, I'm just trying to like get better speaking,
you know whatever. Like people were there for different reasons.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
So were you always doing characters in your personal life
as well? Like did you have characters you went to
for recurring bits with your family and friends?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Definitely? And also like my mom, I look back at
home videos, my mom would do that too. Like my
mom and her sisters would do characters. Like our home
videos were like they're being like a tattoo parlor person.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Who's like I got a cigarette and a tattoo, know whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
It's like all kind of funny stuff like that. So
I'm like, oh, that's definitely where I'm getting that from.
But I would do that a lot, and I would
do voices in class a lot that were part of
my my speaking out, I got it.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
It's just a voice.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Whatever I wanted to say, it's probably add but I
just let it out.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
As long as you've turned it into a career, we're
going to keep it going. As someone who was on
a sitcom as a teen in the nineties, I don't
think girls were encouraged enough to focus on their abilities
to be funny. Yeah, we have talked a lot about
the boy club that was boy Meets World in my
other podcast. What was it like in high school for
(12:04):
you wanting to and expressing that you were funny and
that you could have a career in comedy? Did you
ever feel either encouraged or discouraged.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I felt encouraged. I felt like but my only kind
of north Star was SNL. I didn't really like think
even think about sitcoms or anything. I kind of didn't
know how that would ever happen. I didn't understand how
anything was made right. So, like I read books about
SNL and I understood like the whole process for that right.
So I really wanted that, and so that was always
my dream. But I think, you know, it was amazing,
(12:37):
Like once I came to LA and kind of understood, like, oh,
you can kind of do any you can be in
commercials like things.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
I didn't even get like.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
That those were actors, Like I sort of like just
didn't think about it past the first you know, just
watching it commercial.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Right, Yeah, I love first of all, we it's never
too late. You still need to be on SNL.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, I mean I'd love to host. Oh my gosh,
nobody I tested that experience. I got to go and
do the whole thing. So I mean I feel like
that also like fulfilled a lot of that desire, you know.
I was like, I got there, you got to scratch
that itch. Yeah, can I ask you what that experience is? Like?
Oh my god, it was insane. It was so nerve wracking.
I mean it was the most nervous I've ever been
(13:14):
by far, because it's it's it's a dream that I
had since I was like five. So like then to
be like now I'm literally doing that thing, I feel
like I was in like complete like I was just
on autopilot by the time I was actually doing my audition,
because I had run it so many times in my
hotel room, like I was just going over and over.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Because I was like if I mess up, then I'll really.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Yeah, then I made it kick myself, but like I.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Was able to like go over it so many times
that almost like I don't even know what happened. Like
I remember being there, and I remember going on the stage,
like they have you wait in the dress room for
a long time, which is probably just buildings. Yeah, the
anxiety and just going like can you handle it once
you get on stage. I remember being on the stage,
which was very cool. I could only see the camera
in front of me and I couldn't see the audience,
and you get a little bit of a response, but
(13:55):
they always say like no one's gonna laugh, so like
you're kind of ready for like tepid laughter.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah, an occasional cricket, So there was.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Like a little bit of laughter, you know whatever. And
then I left and I was just like everyone wanted
to get drinks and I was like I have to
go back to my room and just like vomit. I
don't even know how.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Many do they ask you to just put together characters?
How many do they want.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
You three minutes of Like I feel like there's like
five characters and two impressions or something, okay, version of
those numbers, But yeah, it was you remember.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Who you did an impression of I.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Did, Yes, wait, I did it. I did one of
the hosts.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Of Hoarders, okay, and then.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
And then I did.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
The Maggie Oh, I can't remember her name right now,
the older woman from a Harry Potter.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Oh, oh, Maggie, Maggie Smith Smith.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
We couldn't remember my m I.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Was like, yes, of course, Maggie.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Yeah. And then a bunch of like original things. But
it was it was crazy. I remember we did like
a they had They flew me to New York to
do like a showcase with an audience. At first at
the pit theater and the backstage like the wooden you know,
back to the stage had like a little pin hole
in it, and I looked through and could see Lord
Michaels in the audience. Was I was like, there he is.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
That's funny. Somebody put that pin hole there to be like,
just sit him right where that hole is. Everyone will
see him, really terrorize everyone.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Did you have any collections of things as a kid.
I don't know why, but I take you as like
a former collector. Oh my god, totally. I had a bunch.
I collected everything. I had a pencil collection of unique pencils.
Makes a pencil unique? Just urias?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
What makes a fun topper? Topper colorful?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
You know, anything like that.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
I had them in a plant or my room, like
a pot with like gravel or something, and I stuck
them all in there.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Cute.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
I had a collection of little rubber animals that are
this big, and then I had a display at the
library of them during the summer.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I wait, like a showcase, like a gallery. You had
a gallery showing.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
So they had this little like you know, glass box
where people could put little displays. And I got my
own display and so of your little animals. Yeah, I
stood them all up. And where did you get these
rubber animals at the toy store? They were like twenty
five cents. My mom would always let me get one
when we would go, like as like that's the thing
you can get. And then I had like hundreds. I
(16:37):
still have them. And I said, all my collections.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
I had Beanie babies.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
I have a huge box of bean babies. I collected
American girl dolls. I still have all the stuff. And
you gave me two American Girl dolls that are now
in rotation, which are amazing because they're the millennial. They're
so cute, so good. I had all the stuff I
would buy also, like locally handmade American girl doll clothes
and like furniture. There was a store that would sell
like things that people just made to sell for them,
(17:04):
and so I bought. I saved all my money and
I saved one hundred dollars and bought a handmade bunk
bed for my American girl dolls, made by a veteran
wow ill that I still have it. It's now my
kids play with that. But I took very good care
of all my things, yea, and I like valued my
collections so like everything was like really well maintained and
(17:25):
it's all still like in great condition.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
You and Jensen have that in comments. Jensen also babied
all of his stuff, but he does have he is
medicated for OCD well.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I probably I've honestly gone into this on TikTok ands.
I'm like, I'm like, it's quite possible.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah, it's quite possible that was a misdiagnosis, perhaps because.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
There's still time and I'm still curious.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yeah, but I'm like, this would make sense because I
my shelves were pristine.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, I mean his toys, his books are pristine.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I have my whole Playmobile collection and all of the pieces.
I have my Playmobile dollhouse, which is a mansion. It's beautiful,
and my mom's trying to get me to take it,
but I'm like, I'm gonna have to ship it. I
don't know how to do this right. You're gonna need
a just drive it just for that. Yeah, it's like
I don't even have room for this thing, but I
do love it. I don't want her to get rid
of it.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
No, yeah, you have to keep eat it. But I
also don't know how to get it from you. Yeah?
Does it bother you? Then? Are your kids also really
careful with stuff? Because Mars are not. And so Jensen's like,
look at this, it's forty five years old from my childhood,
and my kids are like cool, no.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
And they're like riff the tag off, Like that tag
has been on there for forty years.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I just diabanie, baby's gonna pay for you.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Gave me one at one of my shows. I met
Princess Diana when I was a kid.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
I'm sorry, you really buried the lead here. Okay, tell that,
and then I want you to know how you ma.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
When I was ten, So I grew up in Evanston,
where Northwestern University is, and when I was ten years old,
Princess Diana came to our town to meet with the president.
I don't know what they were doing, but she went
to like some gala or something, and then she came
to a street right near mind and was gonna be there.
I don't know how we knew, and she got out
of the car and we all shook her hand and
took pictures.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
I didn't mean all my pictures were of her.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
I don't have like selfies or anything, so it was
just like you know, disposable cameras and stuff.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
We didn't know how to do that. No, no, But
and then I ay.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Was like, oh, there must be somewhere on like online,
like there must be some getdy image thing of like
that moment, and someone did find one, but I wasn't
in there.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
But it's like a crowd of people.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
But I was like, I'm sure there's there somewhere.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
But we got to meet her. It was so exciting.
My friend and I like shook her hand and then
we rode our bike around.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Like well, shook her hand like just screaming like forever.
It was like Shoker. She was wearing a mint green
like suit with a skirt suit. You know what do
you call that skirt suit? Yeah, and it was like
with some I think like pearls or gold necklace or something.
And she was very, very beautiful. It was amazing.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
So yeah, I mean, this is not a positive story,
but I will I remember exactly the moment where I
was when I found.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Out yes, she died too.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
I remember, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
It was like I didn't realize how important she had
been to me, I know, and then I was like,
wait a minute, I can't believe this. It's shocking.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I feel like that age too, where it's like you
are going like, oh my god, that could just happen,
like that's so crazy. Yeah, it was really shocking and
so and I remember it was not long after that,
but that happened. So I remember standing in my TV
room watching that on the news.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But so, someone just gave you a Princess Diana beaniebe just.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
The other day and it has the tag and I mean,
you know, of course online they're listed for like thousands
of dollars on eBay, but nobody's buying it.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Correct if I could list this piece of paper for
ten thousand dollars if I want it.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
No, it's just like sixteen thousand dollars, Like it's not
worth that, right, but I'm not letting my kids touch it.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah, okay, yeah it's not worth I ripped.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
The tag off immediately, like it's just like, no, not
worth it. No, for sure, And I do have ocdo.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
I have diagnosed? You tell me about your boys situation as.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Coming this is the that was the hardest part of
my life. I would say that was like my turmoil.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Teen boys. Yeah, they're pretty They always picked.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
The worst person to like, so like and I look
back and I'm like that must have been like self
preservation or something like it will never happen, like you
pick like the most popular, or like the meanest or
just like, yeah, the dumbest always always. So anybody who
I had a crush on who was aware of it,
you're dumb, mean and stupid.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Or like incredibly good like you were, like you were
probably also the dumbest.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Yeah, so I always like liked a dumb guy and
then I was I would get obsessed with them, yeah,
and nothing would happen beyond that. But it was all
up here. And then in high school that continued and
I would like sometimes dry by their house.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
You know.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
That was always a fun activity with friends to go
drive by every guy's house that we like, whatever and
just see if we can them through the window.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Oh yeah, just normal stuff exactly.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
We didn't have Instagram to stog people.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
You were looking to take his Wikipedia photos.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I mean yes, that was like perfect blurred through the window.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Washing the dishes.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Yeah, So it was always cool and very cool of
me to do. And then I did get a boyfriend.
Eventually I had a boyfriend when I was a senior.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah, right around the time you started improv. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Yeah, it was all coming together for me and I
finally dated like a friend where it was like I understood, like, oh,
you're supposed to pick the person who's like who you
get along with and you like and your friend you
already hang out all the time, and he's cute, that's
the person was supposed to be like. But I feel
like I was always basing it off TV, Like I
watched so much TV that it was totally embedded, like
(22:47):
those sort of things where it's like you.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Pine for this person and maybe they'll like you.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
And that's how you date them, and like, I don't know,
so I was always doing something like trying to get
on the phone with somebody. Tell me embarrassing. There's a
lot of embarrassing stories. Were like there was a guy
from my math class where I was like, I don't
know how I ended up getting exchanged numbers or something,
and then like I called him and it was super awkward.
This was like and I was a sophomore and it
(23:11):
was I was like, do you play soccer? Like I
don't know what I was.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Did you think he played.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Sucker or like something?
Speaker 4 (23:19):
You know, right, okay, but then I.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Heard people laughing in the background where I actually think
it was somebody I knew who was there too, But yeah,
stuff like that. Little do you.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Remember having to talk to parents first before.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Oh yes, having to call and ask yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
I remember calling for somebody and being like and then
they were like he's not home, and I was like, okay,
call not just call back later.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
I once left a note on a guy's car.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
This was like, so we my friends and I would
do something that we thought was really cute, which was like,
which is kind of cute. We'd leave flowers on strangers
cars was like the thing to do, that's so fun.
And then I would leave notes sometimes. So I left
a note on his car asking to go watch the
fire works together for Fourth of July or something. And
then I learned he was.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Out of town for like the whole summer.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
He's like, I'm in the Hampton's.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
It was like soaking wet, I'm like disintegrating, and I
was like, he's never gonna call me, really sad.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Waiame did you go to school dances?
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Oh my god, I went to all of them.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Torture. I mean, so middle school. I went to all
the dances, which were awful.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I mean I think we had ice. Oh my god,
did we have middle school dances?
Speaker 4 (24:24):
And I just don't you were busy maybe, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Like you might have been working like I feel like
we were. I had my limited to outfits, limited to
purple valure bell.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Bottoms, valre bell bottoms.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
I had like what I thought were really cool, like
shiny like pleather sneakers that were like what's air walks
or something called those? Yes, and they had like a
star on the side or something. I love those. I always, yeah,
I love my limited to stuff, and I would stand
there and just stand there.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Did you go with friends or did your parents drop
you off alone?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Like we would go together, I think, or get dropped
off a couple of us at the same time. Yeah,
and then you know, everyone's grinding the usher and it
didn't happen for me.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
At that point.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
I don't think any I don't think I danced really
at all at that time high school. Though I was
fully dancing, it was fully happening, but we would all
be grinding it all over.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah, that's that's it.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I mean, it's it's sick, honestly, Honestly, it's repulsive.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
When you think about it, I know, yeah, huh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
But I have a lot of memories of that, and
I remember once going to like a I went to
a club with my friend. This was so out of
character for me, but my friend wanted to go to
like a teen night at like a local club, and
we went and it was so gross. I was like
dancing with like who knows who I was dancing with.
But I think back to that, I was like, that
was disgusting.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Do yeah, why do we Why are there so few rules?
I know you're going to grind with on a dance.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
And there's only one way to do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I almost a few ways, I guess, but like it's
you're touching that closely.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Very closely. Also, I feel so like I think about
the adults that have to be nearby because we pick,
and I'm like I would just as the adult. How
is every How is every adult not just going like,
oh my god, you guys are so embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
I just want you to know.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
This is cringe.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Dancing at my school was like super hardcore, Like it
was like, I mean, sweaty, crazy dance. Yeah, fully, I mean,
and I was there, I did that. I think it's
just you have to do it. You have to you
have to know. And I went to prom. I went
to two proms. I went to my junior year. My
friend this is what we've talked about a little bit,
(26:40):
my friend who came out as gay to me like
one second before, and I was like crying because I
like had a crush on it. But he's my friend,
Like whatever, right, But he invited me to go to
his senior prom when I was a junior because we
were all part of the same group. And the best
picture from that prom is me with my arm around
his jacket on the chair because he was like so
social and like doing I was just like, here we
are my day. But that was really fun. And then
(27:02):
my senior year was that was a great time. I
had fun at prom.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yeah, but yeah, do you remember the theme.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
I don't know that we had a Maybe we did,
but I think it was just kind of like a phrase,
not like a decoration thing. And then we went to
it was at Navy Pier in Chicago, which is a
I don't know, big like crazy ballroom kind of place, Okay,
And then we went to a cabin in the woods
and oh, you know, did things.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
A cabin in the woods? No, all we had hotels.
We had like a.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Hotel room that would never have happened, right, but ain
that's worse. A cabin's worse for sure. But like I
don't know, my parents, I don't think we ever could
have gone to a hotel. That would have seemed like
you were just going to have sex.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Well yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure that's all anyone
was doing or wanted to do. But there were like
a couple of people that rented a big room, you know,
like everyone will go back and hang out in this
hotel room, and then those of us who were eighteen
could get like some people have rooms, and then it
would just be like, well, we're going to stay here.
But yeah, I mean I would never never, never, good luck.
(28:04):
I can't wait for my I can't wait to say
no to that. I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
I mean, you just know what's going on, like it's insane.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Just a crazy thing to do. But I do also
remember being like, I'm eighteen.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
You think you think you're such an adult. I mean
it felt that way for sure. It felt like we were.
I mean, and I was just back at my high
school giving the commencement speech and I saw all the
kids and I was like, they're all so young. I mean,
it's it's amazing, but like it's also showing me that
I'm getting older. But like that feeling when you can
see the difference where you're like, oh my god, you're eighteen,
Like that's so young.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yep, you have your whole life ahead of you, a
whole life, so much life. Yeah, were you always tall?
Speaker 4 (28:43):
And I asked this question not to say I love that,
and I love the segue.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Yeah it came out of nowhere, But I want to
know what it was like, because I am I'm thinking
that's a hard thing. I am the size of it,
like a build a bar.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
No, And that's so great, that's great, that's you know,
in many ways would have been my dream.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
But I was always tall.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I remember in like middle school there was another tall
girl and we would see who was taller, and we
were five seven.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we would stand.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
We would always after school we would go to a
Great Harvest Bread Company, which is just like a bread place,
and we would get They would put bags of bread
that was all like ripped up and like, and we
would all eat it.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
So we would all stand there, what are.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
You talking about? They would put it where on your cable?
And what do you mean? We would all just eat it.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
You're right, there's a lot of details up that. So
it was like a kind of place where there were
no tables. You would just like walk in and order
something like I don't know if they had sandwiches. I
never knew because I only ate ripped up bread from there, right, Okay,
So like all the middle schoolers would like line up
and they'd put a big brown paper bag from the
grocery store full of like chopped up like probably day
old bread and then we'd all get butter on it
(29:47):
and we'd stand over and eat that for free. I
don't know why.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
And it was like they're feeding horses.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
It was so random. I don't know why, but it
was great.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
It sounds amazzing.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
And my friend and I would stand back to back
and people would see who's taller, and so I.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Did like slouch a lot.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
I feel like I actually, when I started improv classes,
the teacher had us all walk like each other, like
it was sort of like an extras like an acting exercise,
and everyone led with their pelvis when they did, and
I was like, oh, I walk like that, and I'm
like trying to slouch. I'm learning. I'm still young enough
that this means something to me. Strond but yeah, no,
(30:25):
I got to be five ten when I was a sophomore.
Oh so there was like a quick growth from like
eighth grade to like sophomore year.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Right, your parents tall?
Speaker 3 (30:32):
My dad is six five and a half and my
mom is five two five three.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Yeah, Oh my gosh, Okay, wow, your dad's really carrying
those those genes there. Did you ever try to pivot
from being the funny class clown comedian type to playing basketball.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
I did not in school, though I do that as
an adult, which was not good.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Not good.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
No, it was fun, but it was like, so there
was this moment in time where like all the women
in comedy were starting. They started a basketball league. We
took over like the local LA like rec center league,
and there were like all these teams of comedians playing basketball,
which was insane, and I joined it because everyone was Yeah,
and I kind of always thought I did play basketball
in fifth grade and like I could hit three pointers
(31:19):
in like an elementary school gym.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
I don't know what that means, but it sounds impressive.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
That was the only thing I could do.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
Okay, my dad was my coach and he was very involved.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
But Tiger Wood's father style, yeah, likevenas and arena.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Yeah, he stopped I guess caring at a certain point
because I've never won any for there. But when I
was like an adult, like we started doing this and
then I got my wisdom teeth as an adult when
I was like twenty six or something, and they told
me that my jaw was so thin like the bone
that if I got from my teeth growing into it,
like my wisdom teeths like way or something. If I
(31:54):
got hit in the face with the ball, I could
break my jaw. And I already had been hitting the
face with the ball because we had one like pro
like college level at least like player on our team
who did a no look past to me that went
just straight to my face.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
You didn't know you were supposed to be looking.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
I'm like, it's no looking look.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
That was humiliating. And I was an adult, so no,
no sports and me and in high school, no, it would
never happen. There was no part of me that thought
I should do that. And we had Jim that was
like very like. We had a very involved gym, classy
like we did everything, including like roller skating.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
I don't know if that's normal at all.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I don't think we did that.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
We had a pool which I can't swim, Like there's
a lot of like bad you can't swim. Not well.
I can survive, and I'm I can enjoy myself now
and I can as long as your feet can touch
that's ideal. Yeah, I can also float. I'm fine. I
can tread water, but in high school I couldn't at all.
And it was on the first I was like dreading
this forever. I knew we had a pool, I knew
I would have to take swim lessons, or not swim lessons,
(32:53):
just swim in front of boys.
Speaker 4 (32:55):
It was like co ed bathing suit awful. I think
about all of that, and.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
I'm like, that's that should have been separated at least,
because that's half the problem, is that you're standing in
front of your peers in your bathing suit.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Like, oh, like a slightly deeper question, why are bathing
suits for men and women so drastically different?
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Can we have shorts?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Why can't we? Just can't we have baggy short? Right?
Why are we from the very beginning just like, well,
you're gonna be.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
Near water, so you whole vagina, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Old vagina has to be out. And now also you're
wearing a thong.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
Oh my god, I just.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Put a sign on you that says I'm old and
out of it.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I'm literally one hundred. I'm like, I'm covering my butt.
I don't, I don't know, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
I'm just not doing it.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
But not. No.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
I support everyone who is and they.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Look great, all look amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
No, I don't know how they're getting their butts so
tat and smooth and shiny. I ever read their skin's
perfect on their ass. I don't know how they're doing
hair removal.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
I don't know what's going on. But also I think
about like my six and four year old son, who
my six year old will be at the beach and
he's like, Mummy, look at that eighties but and I'm like, yeah,
there it is.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I know it's.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Right.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Yeah, books looks good. It's quite taught.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
No.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
But then on the first day of swimming, so I
remember crying to my mom about this, like when I
was like a freshman in high school, and she would
always say, like, you want me to write you a
note like get you out of it?
Speaker 4 (34:17):
And I always said no, it's a good mom. Yeah,
but I would say no. But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
I guess I just felt like I had to do it.
And on the first day, I jumped off the diving board.
I'd never done that in my life, and it's really
dangerous when you think about it, because I didn't know
what was.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
Going to happen. But I had read this book when I.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Was Oh, I can't wait to see where this goes.
You had read a book that yes, okay, yes it was.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
There was a series of books in like elementary school
that I read about this girl named Alice. Throughout the
Alice books, I don't know, I've never looked them up
since then. But she couldn't swim and she had learn
how to swim. And it was like she she said,
to pop yourself up like a cork like it like
a corkscrew or whatever. Right, and so that just always
stuck in my head as someone who was afraid of swimming.
So I it was there that day and I did it,
(35:03):
and I and I passed like no one thought I
couldn't swim.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
And then I was doing everything with everyone the whole time.
I don't even know, like I like we had to swim.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Yeah, so maybe I had to do know how to swim.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
I mean I didn't.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
I'm bad at going underwater.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
I do panic. It makes me really stressed. But I
want to take lessons, but I'm like scared of that too,
like just the vulnerability in front of like somebody Mommy
and me classes because I'll be the one crying, like
your daughter will be like mom always does it. My
husband always does it because he's he was like a swimmer,
and he's very comfortable, right, so I'm afraid that if
(35:38):
they want us, if they want me to put her under,
I'm gonna like feel the anxiety.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Well, now that I know Mike's such a good swimmer,
Mike should teach you to swim.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
He's okay, we tried, but if I had a pool.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
This is my goal is to like have a pool
some days that I can actually practice rightly and in
the privacy. I want to panic privately. I don't want
to be like in some public No. And I have
a few friends who also can't swim when incidentally, who
want to take lessons. So we talked about this before.
It was our goal last year, and we all were
all afraid, so we didn't do it right.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
You're like, we're going to do it, which one of
us is actually going to pull the trigger? Yea, someone
has to make it happen. Uh. You've mentioned that you
were raised in Evanston, right, Yeah, did you ever think
of trying to convince your parents to let you come
to LA for pilot season or to move out here?
Speaker 4 (36:22):
You did not even know anything about it.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
I really I was totally ignorant to like how anything
worked like that, and also was so focused on my
like sketch comedy dream that, Like it just didn't even
dawn on me to like try that, right, But I
think it was good because I feel like my improv
like experience and taking those classes and performing on stage
(36:44):
was so much of how I became an actor. Like
I think I didn't really have anything to take to
LA at that point, right, right, what.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Was I taking? I'm tall, cute?
Speaker 4 (36:56):
Yeah, I want it.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
I want it very badly.
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Who were some of your biggest teenage crushes I want
to hear about, like the Jtts the writer, Yeah, but
like mine was David Letterman.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
Oh yeah, Oh I love that.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
I love that I carried around a picture of him
in my wallet.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
I have you met him?
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I've never met him.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
Oh my god, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I know that. I don't even think I want it.
I can't.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
I know, I understand that you never want to meet them.
Some people I've met, and I'm like, I just wish
that never happened, Like it just like not even like
they did something wrong, but it's like the fantasy or
the way that I feel.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
He feels untouchable, like a person that's just on another level.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one, Yeah, mine, I would
say when the first one that comes to mind is
Matthew Lillard, who I did work with on Good Girls,
And so I didn't tell him that, but he'll probably
see this.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
He's probably yeah, he'll probably know about it. What do
you tell him? Just because you feel it is.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Weird to say, I don't know, I Scream was my
favorite movie in middle school, which I also think is
like an annoying thing to say to an older person,
like Scream is my favorite movie in middle school, Like
it sounds you could leave.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
That part out. As someone who often hears I was.
I was born the year Boy Meets World started, I'm like,
we don't know. I don't need to know everythat.
Speaker 4 (38:20):
How about you liked it? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:22):
No, but he was one, and I love that movie
so much and I still love it. It's like one
of the best horror movies ever and just one of
the best movies.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
And who so who else?
Speaker 3 (38:32):
JTT was one, and he there was one point where
a car was parked in front of my house that
had the license plate JTT, and I was convinced it
was his car.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Right, because that's what he'd want to draw attention to
every Yeah, just everywhere he goes people to know.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
Yeah, but you know, you know what's sort of funny.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
I look back. There was this point in seventh grade
where my friend wanted to make crush books and we
did and we made we cut out picture we like
printed online, like pictures of everybody we liked, and then
we put it into a book.
Speaker 4 (39:02):
And I felt like I was faking it.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Oh really yeah, Like I kind of was like, eh,
I don't care, Like I just don't know that I
really cared.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
It was how old were you at that time?
Speaker 4 (39:11):
Seventh grade?
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Like I was like, I was kind of like, I'll
make it. I put in like a bunch of cute people,
and then I still have it. Of course I haven't
thrown any papers out.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
You are such a Yeah, you're you're a mix of
Jensen and will Will never gets rid of anything either.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
I you know, I get rid of stuff now and
then I'm sort of like later me might want this stuff,
but like I have all my childhood stuff. But I
made I put mosaic tiles around every picture we like
blue little Time. I put like Prince William. He was
kind of one that we talked about a lot.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Oh yeah, yea and with your history with I mean,
seems like destined.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
I was right there.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, it could happen, could absolutely happen. You strike me
as being a rule follower. But I do want to
know what's the most trouble you ever got into as
a teen?
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Okay? There are a couple of things that come to mind.
One is that this wasn't really trouble, but I feel
guilty about it, okay, Which is that when I was
a junior in high school, I was supposed to babysit
for my neighbor and then I got invited to a
party that my crush was going to be at. So
I just on the last second, I left them of
an answering machine message that I wasn't coming, and I
(40:20):
just went to the party, right, And I felt so
bad that I didn't get in trouble. But they never
had any babysit again. But also that's fine, Like it
was just like I always kind of go like they
probably think I'm bad for that, that's not true. Who cares.
I know, I was a teenager, Like, of course I
made that choice exactly, That's what I should have done.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
And it was great, and I'm glad. I'm glad you teenage,
Lauren deserved that.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Yeah, but as those parents, yeah, I would be, that
would be.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
That's not cool. And as a parent now when people
flake on me, I'm like, you suck.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
There is so much more with Lauren Lapcis this Friday
for a bonus episode on the dedicated teen Beat feed.
All you have to do is search for teen Beat
wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe way. Every new
episode is sent directly to your phone or sidekick or
portable DVD player whatever you listen to shows on you
are guaranteed to see it. And I want to hear
from you. Send us a voice memo in the one
(41:11):
to two minute range telling us all about your most
embarrassing childhood memory. Email it to teenbeatpod at gmail dot
com and you might just hear it on the show.
And make sure to check out Lauren Lapkis on Stuart
Fails to Save the Universe on HBO Max starting July
twenty third. Teenbeat is an iHeart podcast produced and hosted
by Danielle Fischel. Executive producers Jensen Karp and Amy Sugarman,
(41:33):
Executive in charge of production Danielle Romo, Producer and editor
Tara Subosch. The theme song is by mar Coppis Yes
that Mark Coppus. Follow us on Instagram at Teenbeatpod.
That's all. That's okay because no one here.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Is Hello, residents of Beet Street. Oh wah, I like
that one. I'll just put that one in my back pocket.
It could stick. This is teen Beat, and I'm your host.
Daniel Fischel, a now adult who was a then child
watching her own teenage years pass by on a weekly
national TV show airing in front of millions of strangers,
(00:48):
and so now for a living, I sit with interesting
people who have done interesting things to learn about their
upbringings and the unavoidable bumpy roads to maturity we all
encounter on or off camera, because we all know that
our past might not be identical, but it is always
a roadmap for our present and our future. I experienced
(01:09):
my awkward phases in pimple breakouts as part of ABC's
TGIF lineup. So I see it like this. I gave
you my childhood. It's time we hear yours. And this week,
not only am I talking to one of the funniest
people on the planet, she's one of my all time
favorite humans on it too. You see, sometimes I have
(01:29):
to pretend my guest is a friend, but really we
just met thirty seconds before we pressed the record button
and only talked if they wanted to later. But today
she's a bestie. She's a podcast legend with way more
than ten thousand hilarious hours available online. But you've also
seen this improv master on shows like Good Girls, Kroll
Show Comedy, Bang Bang, Orange Is the New Black, and
(01:51):
The Big Bang Theory, and in movies like Between Two
Ferns and Jurassic World. But most notably, she was the
titular character in a COVID era common that Marlon Wayans
just called the most underrated movie of all time, The
Wrong Missy. And now you'll see her in the brand
new genre bending spinoff of The Big Bang Theory, Stewart
(02:14):
Fails to Save the Universe, debuting July twenty third on
HBO Max. She can be Tracy Reardon or Ho Ho
the Ell for Big Sue or Todd or Whitney peeps,
but today she's my newest teen beat guest. Please say
hello to a hilarious real life pal, Lauren Lapkins.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Oh my gosh, that was such a nice intro.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Well, we like to really sweeten the pot we started,
you know, that was actually like a very nice, well rounded,
well rounded Yeah, good, Well, you have quite an illustrious career,
lots of lots of things to cover. I feel like
I have been looking forward to this episode for a
long time, even since before I knew I had this podcast.
I just have been excited to hear about what made
(02:57):
Lauren Lapus become Lauren Lapis. So thank you for hanging out.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Thank you for having me. I love this podcast. I
am a listener and I highly enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
So that really means a lot because you don't have
a whole lot of time.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
You know.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I like to have one in my ear while I'm
doing anything or playing with my children. Smart smart ult test.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah, that's how Jensen is. Jensen always is listening to something,
and I find I just crave silence.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, any chance I get Sometimes I want that like
car drive of like American Psycho, just like nothing right.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah. So first, I know you were recently in Mexico
City to promote your new show, Stuart Fails at Saving
the Universe, and I wanted to ask you about your
big night at CMLL the Incredible Lucha Wrestling Federation in Mexico.
Can we say you've been converted into a wrestling than
my god?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Well, I know you're a big fan and I loved it.
It was so fun. It was so theatrical. Oh yeah,
I didn't really know what to expect. I've never been
to like any like WWF, Thank you is doing it wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I knew your Old Wildlife Federation is the WWF. Now
they get into it. Oh, but it used to be FEN.
We were used to be and then and then basically
the World Wildlife Foundation was like give us back.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Amazing.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Okay, So when I was I remember being eighth grade
and watching the Rock at my friend's house and that
was like really she was super into it. And I
got it a little bit then but never really like
got hooked. But this was like really fun. I mean,
the audience was going insane. It was the loudest thing
I've ever attended. Like, the women were amazing. That was
almost my favorite part. They were just throwing themselves all
(04:36):
over and they fly out of the ring. I don't
know how they're not injured, Like I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I think that every time I see someone go out
of the ring, like for some reason in the ring,
even though I know it hurts in there too in
the ring, I'm like, okay, so that's what that's made
for out of the ring. That's not what that's made for.
How are you landing on your shoulder?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I don't know. And I also feel like this, I
do you think lute libri is more comical than it is?
Speaker 5 (05:02):
Definitely more hyperbolic, bigger, and then like we do a
tumble and flip over each other and like never touch
or whatever, and like it's kind of like circus, yes,
a little bit, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Little like circus. It's so much fun. Truly, what you
just mentioned about it being loud and the crowd being
so into it. That's actually the thing that made me
refall in love with with wrestling when I got back
into it around twenty seventeen, is that I was enjoying
the theatrics and the athleticism of what I was watching,
but the fact that the audience is just as much
(05:37):
of a character in the storyline with the chance.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
And like who's the bad guy?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah, the good guys.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
They're all on the same page.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And everyone reason. They know, they know what to say,
and they you know, the minute somebody holds up their hands,
they know what chant to do. I loved all of
them very cool, so much so that's kind of the
thing that hooks me for sure.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I think people hear you on podcasts like Freedom or
Comedy Bang Bang and immediately wonder what you were like
as a kid. Will you tell me about teenage, Lauren Lapiz?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Yeah, okay, so what do you want to do?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
High school? Middle school? I guess it's all kind of
the same. I mean I feel like I got glasses
when I was in second grade, which I think is
important to note. So I had glasses for most of
my child.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I love a child with glasses. It's the greatest thing.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
It's really cute. I mean it's very cute. I think
as that person, it's kind of like funny. I really
think of it like as like I'm in nerried, but
like there is like a glasses thing, and so it's
my glass always dirty or like you know, it wasn't
like taking care of my glass, right.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
It's kid crooked or like some care of anything.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
So that's just to give you a little And I
always had crooked bangs, which maybe it's I still do.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Did you cut your own bank?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
No, my mom would cut them sometimes and that would
be like they just the scissors just going in a wave.
I don't know. I cut my daughter's bangs now, and
I do know how to do it with just going up.
Oh there's me. Oh yeah, you had white glasses your snow,
those are fake.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Oh okay, they are a little large for your face.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
But boy, no, that's a cute picture that really looks
like it does.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Yeah, yeah, I know my kids look a lot like
me when I was little. It's so crazy, but I
you know, I got into like wanting to do plays
when I was like fourth or fifth grade and we
had a local children's like community theater kind of stuff,
and I did some plays and so I did Beating
the Beast, and I didn't get any like main part
they wrote apart for me where I was like the
mother wolf with like a little husband and a baby wolf.
(07:33):
And then we kind of came out and did like
a little bit of improv Really, we didn't really have
like set things that we were saying every.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Time, right they made for you.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Yeah, we kind of were like improvising and then we'd
get laughs, and so it was very addictive, and I
feel like that's how I started wanting to perform.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Wow. Wait, I would just like to comment on what
a compliment it is that they were like this this
girl will not fit into the box of one of
the characters, but she's so creative. Not even give her
a lot. We're just gonna let her say whatever she
wants and I bet it'll be good.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
That's that is nice. Yeah, that's a nicer way to
think of it. I was like I didn't get any
of the parts.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Like they were like, we can't put this girl in
a box. Let's let her create her own thing.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah. So I did that, and then I started doing like,
you know, whatever plays. But then, like you know, in
high school, my dream was like be in every plan.
I didn't get into any play. So I was just
like class clown, like always making jokes, always talking in class. Okay,
I started doing like improv in high school and that's
where I found my voice more. But like it was
I think like class clown was kind of my identity
(08:33):
for like most of her middle school high school, just
like shouting something out to the subject right right, and
then the teacher usually liked it too. So I feel
like I never really got in trouble. It was always
like funny enough that I skated.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
By that that's great. I was always in trouble because
I also couldn't stop talking. But none of the things
I were saying were funny, and I was whispering them
the person next to me, and so they were always
just like, stop your hearing. I should have taken a
cue from you for sure. When you say you started
improv in high school, did they have Did your high
school have an improv class?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
We had?
Speaker 3 (09:04):
So we had like an improv company that was like independent,
and I got into that eventually. But I had a
teacher who told me to take improv classes in Chicago.
I grew U outside of Chicago and evan'st Illinois, and
he was like, you should take classes at improve Olympic
because they have no age limit. I think that was
the reason because at Second City you had to be
you had to do teen classes. And he suggested that
(09:26):
I just not do that but go with the adults. Wow.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
And so how old were you? I was a senior,
so I was eighteen.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
But like it was really, I mean, it was like
that changed everything because once I was doing that, I
didn't really I had like a separate life, right which
I you know, I was meeting all these these new
people and I was nervous and I would like just
go to these classes with like twenty four year olds
and be like, well, I went to prom like I
just I don't even know like what I was talking about.
I felt like I had nothing to offer. Also, so
(09:53):
I would get like self conscious, like they don't want
to hear my thing, or like I don't even know
how to improvise because I only know.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
What a teenager knows, right.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
But then that was really important for me because it
showed me that like, literally anyone is interesting and like
everyone has something to say, and it's interesting that I'm
eighteen because they are not that anymore and now they're like,
what's your experience now? And so it's cool. It was
like it just changed everything for me and also gave
me that confidence of like performing and not needing someone
to say yes to me because I wouldn't get into
(10:21):
the shows I got into like the Sketch Show every year,
but I wouldn't get into like any play, and so
I was always crying about that and feeling so awful.
But then it was like, oh, I have this other
outlet and I don't need that.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I mean, I'm so impressed by that because I was
thinking about how that's kind of a little bit like
a college situation where now you have your own life.
But the difference is, like you mentioned, and in college,
everyone has the shared experience of we're all here at
this same college. We're all within three to four years
of each other. You being in high school freshly eighteen, Yeah,
(10:51):
with people and probably their twenties and thirties.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Yeah, there's like a lawyer there, you know. It's like, right,
you have a job.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
He's like, I'm just trying to like get better speaking,
you know whatever. Like people were there for different reasons.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
So were you always doing characters in your personal life
as well? Like did you have characters you went to
for recurring bits with your family and friends?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Definitely? And also like my mom, I look back at
home videos, my mom would do that too. Like my
mom and her sisters would do characters. Like our home
videos were like they're being like a tattoo parlor person.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Who's like I got a cigarette and a tattoo, know whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
It's like all kind of funny stuff like that. So
I'm like, oh, that's definitely where I'm getting that from.
But I would do that a lot, and I would
do voices in class a lot that were part of
my my speaking out, I got it.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
It's just a voice.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Whatever I wanted to say, it's probably add but I
just let it out.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
As long as you've turned it into a career, we're
going to keep it going. As someone who was on
a sitcom as a teen in the nineties, I don't
think girls were encouraged enough to focus on their abilities
to be funny. Yeah, we have talked a lot about
the boy club that was boy Meets World in my
other podcast. What was it like in high school for
(12:04):
you wanting to and expressing that you were funny and
that you could have a career in comedy? Did you
ever feel either encouraged or discouraged.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I felt encouraged. I felt like but my only kind
of north Star was SNL. I didn't really like think
even think about sitcoms or anything. I kind of didn't
know how that would ever happen. I didn't understand how
anything was made right. So, like I read books about
SNL and I understood like the whole process for that right.
So I really wanted that, and so that was always
my dream. But I think, you know, it was amazing,
(12:37):
Like once I came to LA and kind of understood, like, oh,
you can kind of do any you can be in
commercials like things.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
I didn't even get like.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
That those were actors, Like I sort of like just
didn't think about it past the first you know, just
watching it commercial.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Right, Yeah, I love first of all, we it's never
too late. You still need to be on SNL.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, I mean I'd love to host. Oh my gosh,
nobody I tested that experience. I got to go and
do the whole thing. So I mean I feel like
that also like fulfilled a lot of that desire, you know.
I was like, I got there, you got to scratch
that itch. Yeah, can I ask you what that experience is? Like?
Oh my god, it was insane. It was so nerve wracking.
I mean it was the most nervous I've ever been
(13:14):
by far, because it's it's it's a dream that I
had since I was like five. So like then to
be like now I'm literally doing that thing, I feel
like I was in like complete like I was just
on autopilot by the time I was actually doing my audition,
because I had run it so many times in my
hotel room, like I was just going over and over.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Because I was like if I mess up, then I'll really.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Yeah, then I made it kick myself, but like I.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Was able to like go over it so many times
that almost like I don't even know what happened. Like
I remember being there, and I remember going on the stage,
like they have you wait in the dress room for
a long time, which is probably just buildings. Yeah, the
anxiety and just going like can you handle it once
you get on stage. I remember being on the stage,
which was very cool. I could only see the camera
in front of me and I couldn't see the audience,
and you get a little bit of a response, but
(13:55):
they always say like no one's gonna laugh, so like
you're kind of ready for like tepid laughter.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah, an occasional cricket, So there was.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Like a little bit of laughter, you know whatever. And
then I left and I was just like everyone wanted
to get drinks and I was like I have to
go back to my room and just like vomit. I
don't even know how.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Many do they ask you to just put together characters?
How many do they want.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
You three minutes of Like I feel like there's like
five characters and two impressions or something, okay, version of
those numbers, But yeah, it was you remember.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Who you did an impression of I.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Did, Yes, wait, I did it. I did one of
the hosts.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Of Hoarders, okay, and then.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
And then I did.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
The Maggie Oh, I can't remember her name right now,
the older woman from a Harry Potter.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Oh, oh, Maggie, Maggie Smith Smith.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
We couldn't remember my m I.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Was like, yes, of course, Maggie.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Yeah. And then a bunch of like original things. But
it was it was crazy. I remember we did like
a they had They flew me to New York to
do like a showcase with an audience. At first at
the pit theater and the backstage like the wooden you know,
back to the stage had like a little pin hole
in it, and I looked through and could see Lord
Michaels in the audience. Was I was like, there he is.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
That's funny. Somebody put that pin hole there to be like,
just sit him right where that hole is. Everyone will
see him, really terrorize everyone.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Did you have any collections of things as a kid.
I don't know why, but I take you as like
a former collector. Oh my god, totally. I had a bunch.
I collected everything. I had a pencil collection of unique pencils.
Makes a pencil unique? Just urias?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
What makes a fun topper? Topper colorful?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
You know, anything like that.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
I had them in a plant or my room, like
a pot with like gravel or something, and I stuck
them all in there.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Cute.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
I had a collection of little rubber animals that are
this big, and then I had a display at the
library of them during the summer.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I wait, like a showcase, like a gallery. You had
a gallery showing.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
So they had this little like you know, glass box
where people could put little displays. And I got my
own display and so of your little animals. Yeah, I
stood them all up. And where did you get these
rubber animals at the toy store? They were like twenty
five cents. My mom would always let me get one
when we would go, like as like that's the thing
you can get. And then I had like hundreds. I
(16:37):
still have them. And I said, all my collections.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
I had Beanie babies.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
I have a huge box of bean babies. I collected
American girl dolls. I still have all the stuff. And
you gave me two American Girl dolls that are now
in rotation, which are amazing because they're the millennial. They're
so cute, so good. I had all the stuff I
would buy also, like locally handmade American girl doll clothes
and like furniture. There was a store that would sell
like things that people just made to sell for them,
(17:04):
and so I bought. I saved all my money and
I saved one hundred dollars and bought a handmade bunk
bed for my American girl dolls, made by a veteran
wow ill that I still have it. It's now my
kids play with that. But I took very good care
of all my things, yea, and I like valued my
collections so like everything was like really well maintained and
(17:25):
it's all still like in great condition.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
You and Jensen have that in comments. Jensen also babied
all of his stuff, but he does have he is
medicated for OCD well.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I probably I've honestly gone into this on TikTok ands.
I'm like, I'm like, it's quite possible.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah, it's quite possible that was a misdiagnosis, perhaps because.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
There's still time and I'm still curious.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yeah, but I'm like, this would make sense because I
my shelves were pristine.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, I mean his toys, his books are pristine.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I have my whole Playmobile collection and all of the pieces.
I have my Playmobile dollhouse, which is a mansion. It's beautiful,
and my mom's trying to get me to take it,
but I'm like, I'm gonna have to ship it. I
don't know how to do this right. You're gonna need
a just drive it just for that. Yeah, it's like
I don't even have room for this thing, but I
do love it. I don't want her to get rid
of it.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
No, yeah, you have to keep eat it. But I
also don't know how to get it from you. Yeah?
Does it bother you? Then? Are your kids also really
careful with stuff? Because Mars are not. And so Jensen's like,
look at this, it's forty five years old from my childhood,
and my kids are like cool, no.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
And they're like riff the tag off, Like that tag
has been on there for forty years.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I just diabanie, baby's gonna pay for you.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Gave me one at one of my shows. I met
Princess Diana when I was a kid.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
I'm sorry, you really buried the lead here. Okay, tell that,
and then I want you to know how you ma.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
When I was ten, So I grew up in Evanston,
where Northwestern University is, and when I was ten years old,
Princess Diana came to our town to meet with the president.
I don't know what they were doing, but she went
to like some gala or something, and then she came
to a street right near mind and was gonna be there.
I don't know how we knew, and she got out
of the car and we all shook her hand and
took pictures.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
I didn't mean all my pictures were of her.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
I don't have like selfies or anything, so it was
just like you know, disposable cameras and stuff.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
We didn't know how to do that. No, no, But
and then I ay.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Was like, oh, there must be somewhere on like online,
like there must be some getdy image thing of like
that moment, and someone did find one, but I wasn't
in there.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
But it's like a crowd of people.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
But I was like, I'm sure there's there somewhere.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
But we got to meet her. It was so exciting.
My friend and I like shook her hand and then
we rode our bike around.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Like well, shook her hand like just screaming like forever.
It was like Shoker. She was wearing a mint green
like suit with a skirt suit. You know what do
you call that skirt suit? Yeah, and it was like
with some I think like pearls or gold necklace or something.
And she was very, very beautiful. It was amazing.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
So yeah, I mean, this is not a positive story,
but I will I remember exactly the moment where I
was when I found.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Out yes, she died too.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
I remember, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
It was like I didn't realize how important she had
been to me, I know, and then I was like,
wait a minute, I can't believe this. It's shocking.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I feel like that age too, where it's like you
are going like, oh my god, that could just happen,
like that's so crazy. Yeah, it was really shocking and
so and I remember it was not long after that,
but that happened. So I remember standing in my TV
room watching that on the news.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But so, someone just gave you a Princess Diana beaniebe just.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
The other day and it has the tag and I mean,
you know, of course online they're listed for like thousands
of dollars on eBay, but nobody's buying it.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Correct if I could list this piece of paper for
ten thousand dollars if I want it.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
No, it's just like sixteen thousand dollars, Like it's not
worth that, right, but I'm not letting my kids touch it.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah, okay, yeah it's not worth I ripped.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
The tag off immediately, like it's just like, no, not
worth it. No, for sure, And I do have ocdo.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
I have diagnosed? You tell me about your boys situation as.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Coming this is the that was the hardest part of
my life. I would say that was like my turmoil.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Teen boys. Yeah, they're pretty They always picked.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
The worst person to like, so like and I look
back and I'm like that must have been like self
preservation or something like it will never happen, like you
pick like the most popular, or like the meanest or
just like, yeah, the dumbest always always. So anybody who
I had a crush on who was aware of it,
you're dumb, mean and stupid.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Or like incredibly good like you were, like you were
probably also the dumbest.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Yeah, so I always like liked a dumb guy and
then I was I would get obsessed with them, yeah,
and nothing would happen beyond that. But it was all
up here. And then in high school that continued and
I would like sometimes dry by their house.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
You know.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
That was always a fun activity with friends to go
drive by every guy's house that we like, whatever and
just see if we can them through the window.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Oh yeah, just normal stuff exactly.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
We didn't have Instagram to stog people.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
You were looking to take his Wikipedia photos.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I mean yes, that was like perfect blurred through the window.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Washing the dishes.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Yeah, So it was always cool and very cool of
me to do. And then I did get a boyfriend.
Eventually I had a boyfriend when I was a senior.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah, right around the time you started improv. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Yeah, it was all coming together for me and I
finally dated like a friend where it was like I understood, like, oh,
you're supposed to pick the person who's like who you
get along with and you like and your friend you
already hang out all the time, and he's cute, that's
the person was supposed to be like. But I feel
like I was always basing it off TV, Like I
watched so much TV that it was totally embedded, like
(22:47):
those sort of things where it's like you.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Pine for this person and maybe they'll like you.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
And that's how you date them, and like, I don't know,
so I was always doing something like trying to get
on the phone with somebody. Tell me embarrassing. There's a
lot of embarrassing stories. Were like there was a guy
from my math class where I was like, I don't
know how I ended up getting exchanged numbers or something,
and then like I called him and it was super awkward.
This was like and I was a sophomore and it
(23:11):
was I was like, do you play soccer? Like I
don't know what I was.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Did you think he played.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Sucker or like something?
Speaker 4 (23:19):
You know, right, okay, but then I.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Heard people laughing in the background where I actually think
it was somebody I knew who was there too, But yeah,
stuff like that. Little do you.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Remember having to talk to parents first before.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Oh yes, having to call and ask yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
I remember calling for somebody and being like and then
they were like he's not home, and I was like, okay,
call not just call back later.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
I once left a note on a guy's car.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
This was like, so we my friends and I would
do something that we thought was really cute, which was like,
which is kind of cute. We'd leave flowers on strangers
cars was like the thing to do, that's so fun.
And then I would leave notes sometimes. So I left
a note on his car asking to go watch the
fire works together for Fourth of July or something. And
then I learned he was.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Out of town for like the whole summer.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
He's like, I'm in the Hampton's.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
It was like soaking wet, I'm like disintegrating, and I
was like, he's never gonna call me, really sad.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Waiame did you go to school dances?
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Oh my god, I went to all of them.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Torture. I mean, so middle school. I went to all
the dances, which were awful.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I mean I think we had ice. Oh my god,
did we have middle school dances?
Speaker 4 (24:24):
And I just don't you were busy maybe, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Like you might have been working like I feel like
we were. I had my limited to outfits, limited to
purple valure bell.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Bottoms, valre bell bottoms.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
I had like what I thought were really cool, like
shiny like pleather sneakers that were like what's air walks
or something called those? Yes, and they had like a
star on the side or something. I love those. I always, yeah,
I love my limited to stuff, and I would stand
there and just stand there.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Did you go with friends or did your parents drop
you off alone?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Like we would go together, I think, or get dropped
off a couple of us at the same time. Yeah,
and then you know, everyone's grinding the usher and it
didn't happen for me.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
At that point.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
I don't think any I don't think I danced really
at all at that time high school. Though I was
fully dancing, it was fully happening, but we would all
be grinding it all over.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah, that's that's it.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I mean, it's it's sick, honestly, Honestly, it's repulsive.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
When you think about it, I know, yeah, huh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
But I have a lot of memories of that, and
I remember once going to like a I went to
a club with my friend. This was so out of
character for me, but my friend wanted to go to
like a teen night at like a local club, and
we went and it was so gross. I was like
dancing with like who knows who I was dancing with.
But I think back to that, I was like, that
was disgusting.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Do yeah, why do we Why are there so few rules?
I know you're going to grind with on a dance.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
And there's only one way to do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I almost a few ways, I guess, but like it's
you're touching that closely.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Very closely. Also, I feel so like I think about
the adults that have to be nearby because we pick,
and I'm like I would just as the adult. How
is every How is every adult not just going like,
oh my god, you guys are so embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
I just want you to know.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
This is cringe.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Dancing at my school was like super hardcore, Like it
was like, I mean, sweaty, crazy dance. Yeah, fully, I mean,
and I was there, I did that. I think it's
just you have to do it. You have to you
have to know. And I went to prom. I went
to two proms. I went to my junior year. My
friend this is what we've talked about a little bit,
(26:40):
my friend who came out as gay to me like
one second before, and I was like crying because I
like had a crush on it. But he's my friend,
Like whatever, right, But he invited me to go to
his senior prom when I was a junior because we
were all part of the same group. And the best
picture from that prom is me with my arm around
his jacket on the chair because he was like so
social and like doing I was just like, here we
are my day. But that was really fun. And then
(27:02):
my senior year was that was a great time. I
had fun at prom.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yeah, but yeah, do you remember the theme.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
I don't know that we had a Maybe we did,
but I think it was just kind of like a phrase,
not like a decoration thing. And then we went to
it was at Navy Pier in Chicago, which is a
I don't know, big like crazy ballroom kind of place, Okay,
And then we went to a cabin in the woods
and oh, you know, did things.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
A cabin in the woods? No, all we had hotels.
We had like a.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Hotel room that would never have happened, right, but ain
that's worse. A cabin's worse for sure. But like I
don't know, my parents, I don't think we ever could
have gone to a hotel. That would have seemed like
you were just going to have sex.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Well yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure that's all anyone
was doing or wanted to do. But there were like
a couple of people that rented a big room, you know,
like everyone will go back and hang out in this
hotel room, and then those of us who were eighteen
could get like some people have rooms, and then it
would just be like, well, we're going to stay here.
But yeah, I mean I would never never, never, good luck.
(28:04):
I can't wait for my I can't wait to say
no to that. I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
I mean, you just know what's going on, like it's insane.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Just a crazy thing to do. But I do also
remember being like, I'm eighteen.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
You think you think you're such an adult. I mean
it felt that way for sure. It felt like we were.
I mean, and I was just back at my high
school giving the commencement speech and I saw all the
kids and I was like, they're all so young. I mean,
it's it's amazing, but like it's also showing me that
I'm getting older. But like that feeling when you can
see the difference where you're like, oh my god, you're eighteen,
Like that's so young.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yep, you have your whole life ahead of you, a
whole life, so much life. Yeah, were you always tall?
Speaker 4 (28:43):
And I asked this question not to say I love that,
and I love the segue.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Yeah it came out of nowhere, But I want to
know what it was like, because I am I'm thinking
that's a hard thing. I am the size of it,
like a build a bar.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
No, And that's so great, that's great, that's you know,
in many ways would have been my dream.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
But I was always tall.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I remember in like middle school there was another tall
girl and we would see who was taller, and we
were five seven.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we would stand.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
We would always after school we would go to a
Great Harvest Bread Company, which is just like a bread place,
and we would get They would put bags of bread
that was all like ripped up and like, and we
would all eat it.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
So we would all stand there, what are.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
You talking about? They would put it where on your cable?
And what do you mean? We would all just eat it.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
You're right, there's a lot of details up that. So
it was like a kind of place where there were
no tables. You would just like walk in and order
something like I don't know if they had sandwiches. I
never knew because I only ate ripped up bread from there, right, Okay,
So like all the middle schoolers would like line up
and they'd put a big brown paper bag from the
grocery store full of like chopped up like probably day
old bread and then we'd all get butter on it
(29:47):
and we'd stand over and eat that for free. I
don't know why.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
And it was like they're feeding horses.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
It was so random. I don't know why, but it
was great.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
It sounds amazzing.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
And my friend and I would stand back to back
and people would see who's taller, and so I.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
Did like slouch a lot.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
I feel like I actually, when I started improv classes,
the teacher had us all walk like each other, like
it was sort of like an extras like an acting exercise,
and everyone led with their pelvis when they did, and
I was like, oh, I walk like that, and I'm
like trying to slouch. I'm learning. I'm still young enough
that this means something to me. Strond but yeah, no,
(30:25):
I got to be five ten when I was a sophomore.
Oh so there was like a quick growth from like
eighth grade to like sophomore year.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Right, your parents tall?
Speaker 3 (30:32):
My dad is six five and a half and my
mom is five two five three.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Yeah, Oh my gosh, Okay, wow, your dad's really carrying
those those genes there. Did you ever try to pivot
from being the funny class clown comedian type to playing basketball.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
I did not in school, though I do that as
an adult, which was not good.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Not good.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
No, it was fun, but it was like, so there
was this moment in time where like all the women
in comedy were starting. They started a basketball league. We
took over like the local LA like rec center league,
and there were like all these teams of comedians playing basketball,
which was insane, and I joined it because everyone was Yeah,
and I kind of always thought I did play basketball
in fifth grade and like I could hit three pointers
(31:19):
in like an elementary school gym.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
I don't know what that means, but it sounds impressive.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
That was the only thing I could do.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
Okay, my dad was my coach and he was very involved.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
But Tiger Wood's father style, yeah, likevenas and arena.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Yeah, he stopped I guess caring at a certain point
because I've never won any for there. But when I
was like an adult, like we started doing this and
then I got my wisdom teeth as an adult when
I was like twenty six or something, and they told
me that my jaw was so thin like the bone
that if I got from my teeth growing into it,
like my wisdom teeths like way or something. If I
(31:54):
got hit in the face with the ball, I could
break my jaw. And I already had been hitting the
face with the ball because we had one like pro
like college level at least like player on our team
who did a no look past to me that went
just straight to my face.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
You didn't know you were supposed to be looking.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
I'm like, it's no looking look.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
That was humiliating. And I was an adult, so no,
no sports and me and in high school, no, it would
never happen. There was no part of me that thought
I should do that. And we had Jim that was
like very like. We had a very involved gym, classy
like we did everything, including like roller skating.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
I don't know if that's normal at all.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I don't think we did that.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
We had a pool which I can't swim, Like there's
a lot of like bad you can't swim. Not well.
I can survive, and I'm I can enjoy myself now
and I can as long as your feet can touch
that's ideal. Yeah, I can also float. I'm fine. I
can tread water, but in high school I couldn't at all.
And it was on the first I was like dreading
this forever. I knew we had a pool, I knew
I would have to take swim lessons, or not swim lessons,
(32:53):
just swim in front of boys.
Speaker 4 (32:55):
It was like co ed bathing suit awful. I think
about all of that, and.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
I'm like, that's that should have been separated at least,
because that's half the problem, is that you're standing in
front of your peers in your bathing suit.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Like, oh, like a slightly deeper question, why are bathing
suits for men and women so drastically different?
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Can we have shorts?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Why can't we? Just can't we have baggy short? Right?
Why are we from the very beginning just like, well,
you're gonna be.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
Near water, so you whole vagina, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Old vagina has to be out. And now also you're
wearing a thong.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
Oh my god, I just.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Put a sign on you that says I'm old and
out of it.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I'm literally one hundred. I'm like, I'm covering my butt.
I don't, I don't know, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
I'm just not doing it.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
But not. No.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
I support everyone who is and they.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Look great, all look amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
No, I don't know how they're getting their butts so
tat and smooth and shiny. I ever read their skin's
perfect on their ass. I don't know how they're doing
hair removal.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
I don't know what's going on. But also I think
about like my six and four year old son, who
my six year old will be at the beach and
he's like, Mummy, look at that eighties but and I'm like, yeah,
there it is.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I know it's.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Right.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Yeah, books looks good. It's quite taught.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
No.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
But then on the first day of swimming, so I
remember crying to my mom about this, like when I
was like a freshman in high school, and she would
always say, like, you want me to write you a
note like get you out of it?
Speaker 4 (34:17):
And I always said no, it's a good mom. Yeah,
but I would say no. But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
I guess I just felt like I had to do it.
And on the first day, I jumped off the diving board.
I'd never done that in my life, and it's really
dangerous when you think about it, because I didn't know
what was.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
Going to happen. But I had read this book when I.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Was Oh, I can't wait to see where this goes.
You had read a book that yes, okay, yes it was.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
There was a series of books in like elementary school
that I read about this girl named Alice. Throughout the
Alice books, I don't know, I've never looked them up
since then. But she couldn't swim and she had learn
how to swim. And it was like she she said,
to pop yourself up like a cork like it like
a corkscrew or whatever. Right, and so that just always
stuck in my head as someone who was afraid of swimming.
So I it was there that day and I did it,
(35:03):
and I and I passed like no one thought I
couldn't swim.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
And then I was doing everything with everyone the whole time.
I don't even know, like I like we had to swim.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Yeah, so maybe I had to do know how to swim.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
I mean I didn't.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
I'm bad at going underwater.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
I do panic. It makes me really stressed. But I
want to take lessons, but I'm like scared of that too,
like just the vulnerability in front of like somebody Mommy
and me classes because I'll be the one crying, like
your daughter will be like mom always does it. My
husband always does it because he's he was like a swimmer,
and he's very comfortable, right, so I'm afraid that if
(35:38):
they want us, if they want me to put her under,
I'm gonna like feel the anxiety.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Well, now that I know Mike's such a good swimmer,
Mike should teach you to swim.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
He's okay, we tried, but if I had a pool.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
This is my goal is to like have a pool
some days that I can actually practice rightly and in
the privacy. I want to panic privately. I don't want
to be like in some public No. And I have
a few friends who also can't swim when incidentally, who
want to take lessons. So we talked about this before.
It was our goal last year, and we all were
all afraid, so we didn't do it right.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
You're like, we're going to do it, which one of
us is actually going to pull the trigger? Yea, someone
has to make it happen. Uh. You've mentioned that you
were raised in Evanston, right, Yeah, did you ever think
of trying to convince your parents to let you come
to LA for pilot season or to move out here?
Speaker 4 (36:22):
You did not even know anything about it.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
I really I was totally ignorant to like how anything
worked like that, and also was so focused on my
like sketch comedy dream that, Like it just didn't even
dawn on me to like try that, right, But I
think it was good because I feel like my improv
like experience and taking those classes and performing on stage
(36:44):
was so much of how I became an actor. Like
I think I didn't really have anything to take to
LA at that point, right, right, what.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Was I taking? I'm tall, cute?
Speaker 4 (36:56):
Yeah, I want it.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
I want it very badly.
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Who were some of your biggest teenage crushes I want
to hear about, like the Jtts the writer, Yeah, but
like mine was David Letterman.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
Oh yeah, Oh I love that.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
I love that I carried around a picture of him
in my wallet.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
I have you met him?
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I've never met him.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
Oh my god, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I know that. I don't even think I want it.
I can't.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
I know, I understand that you never want to meet them.
Some people I've met, and I'm like, I just wish
that never happened, Like it just like not even like
they did something wrong, but it's like the fantasy or
the way that I feel.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
He feels untouchable, like a person that's just on another level.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one, Yeah, mine, I would
say when the first one that comes to mind is
Matthew Lillard, who I did work with on Good Girls,
And so I didn't tell him that, but he'll probably
see this.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
He's probably yeah, he'll probably know about it. What do
you tell him? Just because you feel it is.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Weird to say, I don't know, I Scream was my
favorite movie in middle school, which I also think is
like an annoying thing to say to an older person,
like Scream is my favorite movie in middle school, Like
it sounds you could leave.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
That part out. As someone who often hears I was.
I was born the year Boy Meets World started, I'm like,
we don't know. I don't need to know everythat.
Speaker 4 (38:20):
How about you liked it? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:22):
No, but he was one, and I love that movie
so much and I still love it. It's like one
of the best horror movies ever and just one of
the best movies.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
And who so who else?
Speaker 3 (38:32):
JTT was one, and he there was one point where
a car was parked in front of my house that
had the license plate JTT, and I was convinced it
was his car.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Right, because that's what he'd want to draw attention to
every Yeah, just everywhere he goes people to know.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
Yeah, but you know, you know what's sort of funny.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
I look back. There was this point in seventh grade
where my friend wanted to make crush books and we
did and we made we cut out picture we like
printed online, like pictures of everybody we liked, and then
we put it into a book.
Speaker 4 (39:02):
And I felt like I was faking it.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Oh really yeah, Like I kind of was like, eh,
I don't care, Like I just don't know that I
really cared.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
It was how old were you at that time?
Speaker 4 (39:11):
Seventh grade?
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Like I was like, I was kind of like, I'll
make it. I put in like a bunch of cute people,
and then I still have it. Of course I haven't
thrown any papers out.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
You are such a Yeah, you're you're a mix of
Jensen and will Will never gets rid of anything either.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
I you know, I get rid of stuff now and
then I'm sort of like later me might want this stuff,
but like I have all my childhood stuff. But I
made I put mosaic tiles around every picture we like
blue little Time. I put like Prince William. He was
kind of one that we talked about a lot.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
Oh yeah, yea and with your history with I mean,
seems like destined.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
I was right there.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, it could happen, could absolutely happen. You strike me
as being a rule follower. But I do want to
know what's the most trouble you ever got into as
a teen?
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Okay? There are a couple of things that come to mind.
One is that this wasn't really trouble, but I feel
guilty about it, okay, Which is that when I was
a junior in high school, I was supposed to babysit
for my neighbor and then I got invited to a
party that my crush was going to be at. So
I just on the last second, I left them of
an answering machine message that I wasn't coming, and I
(40:20):
just went to the party, right, And I felt so
bad that I didn't get in trouble. But they never
had any babysit again. But also that's fine, Like it
was just like I always kind of go like they
probably think I'm bad for that, that's not true. Who cares.
I know, I was a teenager, Like, of course I
made that choice exactly, That's what I should have done.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
And it was great, and I'm glad. I'm glad you teenage,
Lauren deserved that.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Yeah, but as those parents, yeah, I would be, that
would be.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
That's not cool. And as a parent now when people
flake on me, I'm like, you suck.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
There is so much more with Lauren Lapcis this Friday
for a bonus episode on the dedicated teen Beat feed.
All you have to do is search for teen Beat
wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe way. Every new
episode is sent directly to your phone or sidekick or
portable DVD player whatever you listen to shows on you
are guaranteed to see it. And I want to hear
from you. Send us a voice memo in the one
(41:11):
to two minute range telling us all about your most
embarrassing childhood memory. Email it to teenbeatpod at gmail dot
com and you might just hear it on the show.
And make sure to check out Lauren Lapkis on Stuart
Fails to Save the Universe on HBO Max starting July
twenty third. Teenbeat is an iHeart podcast produced and hosted
by Danielle Fischel. Executive producers Jensen Karp and Amy Sugarman,
(41:33):
Executive in charge of production Danielle Romo, Producer and editor
Tara Subosch. The theme song is by mar Coppis Yes
that Mark Coppus. Follow us on Instagram at Teenbeatpod.
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Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.