November 28, 2025 • 40 mins
Friday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ve pieced together today’s Encore Edition Show from parts and pieces of numerous shows recovered from a resurrected hard drive from loooong ago - the end result is awesome, but we’re giving our Mailbag Singers a real workout as we replay some of our favorite Listener Letters.. - some bad - some good - but all funny!.. - plus you’ll hear a couple of our favorite contestants call in!.. - Enjoy!…
℗®© 2025 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good morning, God, good duddle. We've been on our little
beach outy.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I called him, called his house and.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I just scream.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
I've been in the room with him when he has
that voice on. You don't want to know where his
hand I thought.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
It was between two.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
No, No, you know I'm right.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
You know I'm right.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
You lay in bed holding on to those thing down
there around the doodle, dude.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's why the next thing you usually hear is tell
me a story.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Or I've heard him actually turning with that pose and go,
what are you gonna do that?
Speaker 5 (00:52):
Before or after we spoon the question.
Speaker 6 (00:55):
I didn't but you over, but I see you kind
of got your hands full.
Speaker 7 (01:00):
Man.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
You know all these times we've been traveling, Randy, and
I've never seen you naked.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Yeah, to keep it that much, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
It's a vote from Sandy Pinkard A.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Pinkerd I remember remember that Bailey. It was years ago,
but he said they fired another drummer and they went
through more than spinal thing. I never trust him anyway,
all them days on the road and I never saw
him naked. They fired him. He ain't drussou road.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Maybe he don't like people comporting in.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
His moodity, and mad said, do you want me to
change the wording on the ad in the trading papers?
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
No, kidding, listen, I don't even like to see me naked.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
There's nothing about like because they read the whole thing wrong.
You need to spend some time on the road.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I'll reprise it. I don't even want to.
Speaker 7 (01:54):
See me back and Randy peel him off.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Let's go, I said, why don't you die? He said,
what color is?
Speaker 8 (02:02):
Now?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
We've got number nineteen, number nineteen, So cocka dottle do?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Yeah, yeah, I hear.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I was going to be sweet in the morning. You
got the dude dang gummy good morning to make show
(02:46):
us on the radio heavy Thanksgiving weekend. Let's go back.
We live for Thanksgiving moment.
Speaker 9 (02:52):
We all know history, but there's so much more we
don't know. I'm Sir David Attenborough and this is unknown history.
The year is sixteen twenty. A group of one hundred
(03:13):
weary passengers sailed from England to the New World aboard
the good ship Mayflower. They desperately wait for the news
that land is in sight.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
That's the sign you in the christ nest. Do you
see land?
Speaker 9 (03:34):
Latin his name was Kleine, a rather unusual stowaway, and
that he was a dromedary camel. He was hailed as
a hero and quickly took his place among his fellow pilgrims.
But the early days were not easy. Half the settlement
(03:56):
was lost that first year, and food was scarce. If
we do not get our crops to flourish, the entire
colony will perish. Clyde, I fear the future appears bleak.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
No, what's that? Yeare ask the natives?
Speaker 5 (04:16):
That's madness, that's savages.
Speaker 9 (04:18):
Yeah, Tonto, you say, yeah, Squanto, I'm sorry, Could you
do the introductions?
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (04:28):
Clyde brought Squanto before William Bradford. An agreement is profit,
and soon there was food a plenty, and the colony.
Speaker 5 (04:38):
Slowly struggled back.
Speaker 9 (04:40):
In a profound gesture of gratitude, the Pilgrims invited the
Native Americans to a feast of thanks and the tradition
of thanksgiving was born.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
We would not be here today if not for the
one known as Clyde. Here.
Speaker 9 (05:00):
That is the truth, is it not? William Bradford. Squatto
speaks the truth, and it's only fitting that Clyde give
the prayer.
Speaker 10 (05:13):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 9 (05:21):
Yeah, but things would take a dark turn. Clyde became
romantically entangled with Bradford's second wife, Dorothy.
Speaker 8 (05:36):
Oh, Clyde, we cannot continue our illcitrists. I fear my
husband is suspicious. Those hoof shaped bruises on my back
were hard to explain. Yeah, I told him I was
trampled by dear but alas he was unconvinced.
Speaker 10 (05:52):
Yeah yeah, all right, one last time, and it would
be the last time Clyde, Dorothy, my wife and my
best friend be gone and never return.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Him or me.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Him.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Eh.
Speaker 9 (06:15):
Clyde left in shame and never returned. No one knew
whatever became of him, but he did resurface years later.
So I just tie this key to this kite, eh,
But what about this stormy Until next time? This is
(06:36):
Sir David Edinburgh reminding you that.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
It's not the history.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
That's no, it's the history. I know.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Come on to the big shows on your radio, all ride,
I turner, let me see this is number our series.
All right, We're good, we'll actually about it next.
Speaker 11 (07:01):
Hey all, John Boy and Billy, you know who taught
me my ABC's and what it means to be kind
Sesame Street, but they need our help to keep it going.
So this holiday season, visit Sesame dot organ. Donate what
you can because the world needs Sesame and Sesame needs you.
(07:38):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
It's time to act like YO.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
What's up?
Speaker 12 (07:48):
Welcome to hold on Patrick, leave Astronut alone. He is
not going to autograph your copy of zombie Land.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
I oh, that's how he looks. But it ain't here.
Speaker 12 (08:01):
Go out out here, I spelled meet course if you
can find me some Welcome to x eche the place
to go for all the four one one you need
for all Yo. What you call a holy rleational relations
shrimp is se dig this ded ike.
Speaker 5 (08:20):
My wife and I just retired and moved from Maine
to a small town in Georgia.
Speaker 12 (08:25):
I don't want to say the name because they listened
to the show here. I really enjoy the laid back
lifestyle and the people are wonderful. As part of our
new year's resolution, we decided to go back to church.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
We're just not sure where to go.
Speaker 12 (08:41):
I know this is outside your area of expertise, but
what should I expect from a small country church?
Speaker 5 (08:47):
If you don't know, could you pass this on to
someone who might like Bidley.
Speaker 12 (08:51):
Thanks an awful lot, Mark and Giselle Gizell, I be
married to an antelope, small Georgia, dead geesus hell, ain't
nothing I don't know something about. I've been to a
little bit at Southern church, and despite what you might
have heard from some wannabe half calf latte brothers, it's
(09:13):
not a bunch of white people clinging the guns and religion.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
They was clinging to. They cousins.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Though you know it's a scientific fact that cousins are
good for practice.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Word to John Boy. Now, these were pretty good folks.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It's not a bunch of goobers snotting at the nose
and swinging rattlesnakes through the air and speaking in tongues.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
They do that on Monday nights. But it was different.
Speaker 12 (09:39):
I was dating this fine, thick, pale faced princess and
she insisted I go to.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Church with her and her family.
Speaker 12 (09:45):
Well, since she was throwing down in the boudoir, I
figured what, I try to make her happy with my
clothes on for a change. Ah, here was an eye
opener to say the least, let me preach on it
now instead of a bell. The call to worship is
recording to Jerk Cloyd going, oh, I can't do the boy.
(10:07):
At least twice a week someone in the congregation complains
about Noah putting coyotes on the ark.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
It ain't perfect world, I'll tell you what.
Speaker 12 (10:17):
Super Bowl Sunday is the first official church holiday of
the year, followed by the first.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Day a da season.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
One of the church members requested to be buried in
his four wheel drive pickup because it ain't never been
in a hole it couldn't get out of.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
It's real good folks too.
Speaker 12 (10:35):
Now the only time anyone locks their car doors is
the summertime, so no one can leave a back of
squash on the front seat.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
People are grossome, damn squashed down here. The choir, they
were just average. They called him the Okay Corral. I
like that one.
Speaker 12 (10:56):
They all thought rapture was what you got from helping
your fat cousin in the truck man. During parables, the
preacher used bad Guy Restless to illustrate the seven deadly seas,
and down here flet probably covered five or six on
body his own self. The preacher offers BC powders instead
(11:18):
of the host way for if you come in hung
over on Sunday. The baptismal tuble doubles is a live bait. Well,
the coat room also had a gun rack. They might
steal your gun with they leaving the squash in the
front seat of your car. The choir rooms covered with
(11:39):
church sponsored logos like a nashcar.
Speaker 13 (11:42):
And of course the preacher works get it done in
every service.
Speaker 12 (11:46):
You people in your damn kits preach not to be fair.
This is just what went down with me. These results
are not typical and may vary from your individual experience.
And no butt cracks were harmed with a tor of
a boot during these services.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
He sees Heike peace out.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
If you feel the need to Axike, mail to Axeke
John Mooy Millay and Pilbox seventy six sixty three. Charlotte
didn't see two eight two four one a live bait. Wa.
Good morning, the Big Show is on the radio. I
think for today. By the way, last week we looked
at us here at a big show. Today we turned
(12:25):
the camera, well we would if we had one, I
guess microphones in this case to you, the Big Show listener.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
So get your clothes off.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
If we don't see you Nick, and we don't trust you.
We learned that earlier the show. All right, so yeah,
let's turn it around, honor you the Big Show listener.
We'll start off with another letter coming up neck. Good morning,
(13:05):
the big shows on the radio. Come in.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Let us look at you.
Speaker 14 (13:14):
Oh we get letters. We get your letter up letters to.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Say, oh boy, alrighty, a flurry of activity out of
all these cities. The John boyn Billy Big Show broadcasts
annway here, a lot from Dallas, from Austin, and it
seems from Macon, Georgia. For some reason. Remember we had
the letter from forty five people at a party and
(13:51):
making Georgia listening things they hated about the Big Show.
We had to bring mister Taylor in. He recommended that
maybe their future parties a.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
Little drinking, little drinking, maybe some twister.
Speaker 15 (14:01):
Well there's another one for Megan, Georgia, Bam addressed to
John Boy Dear John Boy, the Big Show was recently
picked up here and making Georgie on Q one oh six.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Billboards of you and Billy are plastered all over town.
See your face six or more times each day. I
wake up to your voice each day, and you shower
with me. And then getting me off to work. I
have developed quite a crush on you and have even
(14:34):
began to dream of you, and I please don't think
this is a joke. I mean closing my business card
in a recent photo, hoping that you'll take this seriously.
If you would consider meeting me, I'll be happy to
come where you are. Please respond sincerely, Tracy. I'll just
(14:58):
give your first name, Tracy, and here the picture of Tracy.
Speaker 16 (15:05):
All right, I think I had a listene Uh well,
Tracy minutes, I think I can handle this all.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Come on in, come on head of.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
My good morning John Boy, morning now, and good morning
to you Tracy. I feel like I need y'all need
me on this one now, Tracy. We appreciate your interest
in the show, honey, although it is possible to take
(15:41):
a little bit too far. And may I say you're
a creeping up on that line you say.
Speaker 6 (15:49):
Now, believe me.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I've seen John Boy and Billy on a billboard before
running into him five six times a day. Well, I
can see how that prey on a person's mind, especially
a kindly high.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
Strung woman like you.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Say.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It was mighty nice of you run down to the
mall to glamour shots and make your real pretty picture there, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 6 (16:11):
A real pretty picture.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
But I got to say, now, this thing about being
in the shire with johnre well, you're starting to scare
me just the tensiest little beef. Now you say, please,
don't think this is a joke.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
Man, Believe me.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
If you're wanting to climb in the shire with John Boy,
I'm sure you're.
Speaker 6 (16:34):
Just real serious about it, you'd have to.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
But let me just say, like Jackie over there always
says you don't want to go there, No, ma'am, you
don't want fat at all. You see now, John boy,
he's already got a girl and a fine looking zest
for a living woman like yourself. Maybe you ought to
(16:59):
find you good local man to cozy too.
Speaker 5 (17:03):
In fact, I.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Hear tell there's a group about forty five of them
right there in town. That's just real right for some
female companionship. Y'all got the return address from that one
of that party last week. Maybe we could pass that
a lot of the trace. Now if I can just
say a word to the folks in making as a group,
y'all sure do run hot and cold. Got forty five
(17:27):
people at some party righting in wanting to fight with us.
And right down the road there there's old Tracy wanting
to slobber all over John bar Could y'all try to
find what they call a happy medium. Maybe he could
have a town meeting or something and talk this thing off. Now, Tracy,
we appreciate you writing to us, don't get me wrong.
(17:50):
Oh and John Wobilly, y'all lock like he got some smarts.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Good morning, The Big Show is on the radio. Okay,
just say we got here a little correspondence actions on
the Big Show. H Dear guys, Robert d said all
you had to do to get on your show was
to go to high school with John Boy. Well, here
are ten other ways to get on your show. All right, good,
(18:43):
this is some girls. Let me see some Alabama girls
from a felony manning Felony Yes her name, yes, she says, yes,
my name is pronounced felony. Well it is spelled p
h E. L Amy and my brother Arson. So anyways,
so we just had a top ten. Let's let's see
(19:03):
how the felling and the girls in her office, she says,
the girls and I got on a roll, and this
is what we came up with. The top ten ways
to get on your show.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Okay, number ten, sure you have the drum roll and
no it's.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Not worth it, believe me. Okay, So don't know for expect,
don't over expect. This is this is felonies. Okay. The
Alabama Girls Top ten how to get on the Big Show.
Number ten, be a beautiful, large breasted blonde woman in
a bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Speaker 6 (19:35):
That's a way to get to host the show.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Number nine be a beautiful, large breasted blonde woman in
a bikini. No, be a beautiful large breasted blonde Miss
Winston in a bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and then coke. Okay.
Number eight be a beautiful, large breasted woman in a
bikini bringing chicken wings, don't, nuts, and a coke. Number
(20:02):
seven to be a beautiful, large breasted woman bringing chicken wings,
donuts and a coke. Number six be a large breasted
woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke. Number five
be a breasted woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Number four be a woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and
(20:23):
a coke. Number three bring chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Number two bring donuts and a coke, and number one
bring donuts.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
So all right, that wasn't pretty good?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Let it go Felony Manning and the Girls in Alabama.
Good morning, the big shows on it? Ready? Can we
go back a minute and talk about naked in a
hotel room telling about my sister in law? That was
from my earlier conversation. Well, get said, this is my family, man,
you talk about like that.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Hey, hey, I've seen your sister in law. I know
your sister in law, I know you, I.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Know my cousins.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Now are you actually going to sit here and try
to truthfully say if you had the chance?
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Are you kidding me? I mean, no, excuse me just
a second.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
I'm gonna say right now, I am more of a
man than John boy is. And it's obvious y'all know
my sister in law, Barbara. I'm gonna tell you right now,
I don't care if my wife is sitting on my lap.
I'm gonna take the opportunity.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, but say but but but that goes back a
long way for you. I mean, you know, oh, it's
mean to your wife. You say, the worst thing you
ever said to him is your sister at home is
the worst.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Thing I ever said to Barbara.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Is your sister home. If y'all have Barbara, our big
show reception is here. She is a baby doll.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
But see that's okay for ready to say that, because
you know we all knowing true, that never happened.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Ye, you actually might have a shot. I won't take
damn man. I mean she was like running around in
diapers when I was dating her sister.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
So was Barbara.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
She still might from time to time.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Getting you think you can talk Patty into doing.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
That so much trouble.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
I love my wife. I love her late.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
We're getting into a weird area, all right. Damn well,
your heterosexuality is flaming right.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
And everybody's gonna see him naked.
Speaker 14 (22:38):
Me.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Oh, that was a let's level the playing field film
A cracking is coming up?
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Rather didn't have more coffee field?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Good on to make shows on the radio. Let's check
it on our part time receptionist Bill McCracken at the
front desk.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
All the sad old men in their trust. They strain
when playing shuffle board. They can't bend down oi they Oh,
a deep breath is going overboard. I go to the store.
Pick up Milt. That's when I feel a stab in pain.
Pick up my cat oivey. Oh, there's that awful pain again.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
I heard the.
Speaker 17 (23:33):
Doc who was in shock say, way, oh, way, way way,
life with the hernie.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Uh, life with the hernie. Uh.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Hello, bab, please be patient with me today. It seems
I've herniated myself. How did I do it? I can
tell you exactly how I did it. I had to
lift up John boys legendary big bag. Well I should
have looked at it before I even attempted that clean
and jerk.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Let's see.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
There was a pan of leftover chicken wings, two cases
of diet coke, five twelve packs of cherry pop tarts, cups, plates, paper, towel,
and toilet paper. It's like he was channeling mister Rayford.
But I guess it's easier to shop here than stop
at the store. I'm sorry, I meant to say cheaper.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
So what's do with you bubbaloo? Uh huh?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
You had to you had to retake your driving test, Oh,
because of the.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
Tickets right right, right, right right, and you failed? How
on earth?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Every time the car stopped you jumped in the back seat. Well,
you know, old habits are hard to break. This, why
don't you touch up the fabulous and well? Goot along
to Eron's Okay, kay kay, there she goes a little further.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Had a girl? No, no, no, he's married. Keep going.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Not in the planter again, that's the door she's in,
and it's clothes. God, you know the difference between butter
and a blonde butter can be hard to spread.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Job min chow cooking. I'm help you, yes, ma'am, uh huh,
you have a complaint. Welcome to the club.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
I bought a pair of French cut tappants at Cato,
and when I got him home I could barely squeeze it. Oh,
I'm sorry. Let's make this all about you. Hello, Oh,
my stars and garters. That was better than cheesecake.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
You you need a cigarette and I don't even spoke.
Speaker 14 (25:58):
H'll fisting.
Speaker 5 (25:59):
I'm help you. You've got to complain? Oh did you
pick the wrong day? Bring it on? You're mad about
a song they played?
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Really really here, try the take the index finger and
push the channel changer. Then take the thumb, spin on
it and stick it. Oh, here comes the blonde bombshell.
Gotta go, and ma'am dust.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
I always say that, Hello, my angel. Oh gossip yum
yum yum yum yum yum yum. What's the dirt skirt?
Amber is pregnant again?
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Good heavens? What does she use for protection? The bus shelter?
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Good? Good, good? Oh my head better stuck up on
the BC.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Powders do the ninny coomber, carry on straight, pap, Good morning.
The Big Show is on the radio. If you have
it and us. If you have asked questions, we will
attempt to answer some of them today.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Send pictures, don't no, don't.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Remember the nickname that I gave you a while back
and you didn't like.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
First.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
We will answer a question that we get. Sometimes it
might be from you. Hang on, Good morning, the Big
(27:42):
Shows on the radio.
Speaker 6 (27:43):
This may be a good day to turn the focus
away from us and the listen.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
It's going folks among us. We did last week when
we suppose pulling out here.
Speaker 14 (28:03):
Letters, Oh, we get letters. You get your letter right here?
I lost those letters.
Speaker 11 (28:19):
You got to say, oh boy, alright, out of the
old mail bag.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
A letter from Dallas Billy.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yes, indeed, let's read that sucker, John Boy and Billy
I've been listening to your show for a few days
now and have a question. Are we in the Dallas
area getting the show the same day or is there
a tape delay? I hear you guys saying seventeen after
the hour a lot, or is that because you're on
the air in more than one time zone. Pardon my ignorance,
I just wanted to know. Sincerely, Becky King, Plano, Texas.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Well, Billy, let me answer that. Of course, we are
absolutely live. This is a live broadcast. This is not
take delayed.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Everything you hear is going to live in our Big
Show studios throughout the South, into.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Different radio stations in our Big Show family soon. Bro.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I think I asked that is there are a lot
of guys who do syndicated radio from say the West Coast,
and a lot of them are tape delayed.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yeah, but not on this broad You don't like they
think we really want to hear it that bad to
listen to it very late that's going on, But no,
not right here on this Big Show. Everything is absolutely loud.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
You're hearing it as it happens.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
I mean, if we had a chance to go back
and listen to it would cut out some of the stupos,
absolutely listen to it would cut out some of the stupo,
would cut out some of the stupid. So and we're
not trying to fool you. This show is live because
if we were like Sad it was live and it wasn't,
that would be wrong, very very wrong. So as you're
(30:02):
hearing the Big Show Ner City, it is happening here
in a big show studio. Thank you for your letter.
What do we have for it? Okay, not a thing.
It's a big show, absolutely live and free. Did I
mention good on in the big shows on the radio?
(30:32):
All right? I was hoping a playhouse was popping up
here sometime soon.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
I need to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Now, looking forward to this playhouse coming up next. Good
(31:02):
morning to bike shows on the radio.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
It's time.
Speaker 7 (31:07):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the
Holiday Shakedown. As our story opens, Ricky B. Sharp is
preparing for a relaxing Saturday at the Sharp home in Dothun, Alabama.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Let's see here, two high school twelve packs of beer,
two boxes of fun sized hot pockets, new.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
Batteries in the remote, and the wife's out of town
for the day.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
It's the perfect couch potato Saturday.
Speaker 5 (31:44):
Hello, Hello that gum.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Oh hey Lipsey. Now I'm final. I'm losing my mind.
I was answering the phone before I've picked it up. Well,
how's your sister's foot? Oh, still can't put wade on it?
Speaker 5 (32:05):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
And you're standing in Opa Loka for an extra day? Well,
I reckon, I can muddle through somehow. You just get
home when you can. Okay, booger bye, whole extra day
to myself. Couch Potato Saturday is getting better and better.
(32:33):
She loves that stupid as Jetson show. Who the sam
hell could that be? Hang On, I swear to god,
I'm getting rid of this monster. That's how the hinges
(33:00):
of them hot pokers.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
Are coming back on my house.
Speaker 18 (33:04):
Bless your hearts. Such a heavy door for such a
small feller. Well, good morning, are you mister sharp?
Speaker 5 (33:11):
Who wants to know?
Speaker 18 (33:13):
Debbie Moran? I'm with the Christmas Fund of Dothan. I
ran into your wife at the grocery store the other
day and she said this would be a good time
to stop buying chat.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Let me guess you're looking for money and you thought
you would hit up the big local celebrity cover your
nut for the whole month.
Speaker 5 (33:39):
Why he's Dothan's.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Most beloved fast food mask, he's bound to be loaded. Well,
didn't my wife tell you about her sister and the
chronic foot problems and no health insurance? She tell you
about my idiot brother, the lost his house and a divorce.
I ain't got two nickels to rub together? Well, Or
am I dope pet Nephie?
Speaker 13 (34:00):
You running up a massive bill at the rehab place,
Or my skagky needs to got dumped by some wormy
little pot liquor that got her pregnant, or that stupid
Jensen's doorbell cost me a fortune a freaking monster's.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
Doors by breaking my heart.
Speaker 6 (34:15):
She mentioned any of that, No, sir, she did is well.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Riddle me this, blondie.
Speaker 17 (34:21):
If I don't give money to any of them, why
would I give it to you, son of them?
Speaker 6 (34:31):
We hope enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 13 (34:34):
But I think that that that that that you could
leave the top two buttons.
Speaker 5 (34:39):
Nickel. Tune up again next time.
Speaker 6 (34:41):
We hear the crusty old foot doctor in opal.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Listen, good
(35:07):
morning the big shows on the radio, turning our attention
to you, the big show listener. Come on, let's sing
at yours ladders.
Speaker 9 (35:17):
Oh, we get letters, We get your letters, man today,
turn one up.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Okay, maybe we don't know all the word.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Show boy thing doll mal today. All right, we've got
a letter here from uh Beaver, West Virginia, from the
correctional institute there, John barn Billy. Let me first say
I'm one of your most dedicated fans. Captive fans is
more like it, since I'm presently under the watchful eyes
(35:57):
of the federal government at a correctional facility in West Virginia,
Which brings me to the reason I'm writing. I listened
to dumb crook news all the time and have yet
to hear anything that tops my ordeal. After a long
day of Bruce swilling, a friend and I decided to
find a pizza. We drove across the state line and
rolled into a small dark town. It was small and
(36:19):
dark because it was one thirty in the morning and
everything was closed. Oh just then, I closed one eye,
I'm sure you've done that, and saw a light in
the distance. As we drew near, we could make out
the words bar and grill and it was open. Well, well,
we figured where there's beer, there's bound to be pizza,
so we went inside. Bad news, the grill was closed.
(36:43):
Good news, the bar was open. Huh Oh. Now, like
the guy who wrote you recently about his beer run said,
alcohol tends to make you think somewhat differently. And after
downing another twelve pack, we decided to relieve the establishment
of their daily cash intake.
Speaker 6 (37:01):
Oh, it's taking an ugly turn.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Needless to say, this didn't go over too well with
these folks, and they started to get a little fussy.
Here's where the dumb really comes in. Since alcohol on
an empty stomach never did get our pizza, by the way,
tends to make you feel like a cross between Al
Capone and John Dillinger, we decided to take the folks
there in the bar for a ride. Oh. We returned
(37:29):
to our starting point just across the state line with
our passengers. We have since learned that the FBI are
automatically involved when you cross a state line with folks
that don't want to cross the state line.
Speaker 5 (37:41):
I've heard that yet.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
In other words, what we called a ride, the authorities
called kidnapping. Imagine our surprise. It's now two thirty in
the morning, As we come to a stoplight, our adventure
takes a new twist. We run out of gas. This
stop light is at one of the town's major intersections,
(38:04):
and one of the several cars behind us is a
police cruiser. As we saw it, we had three options.
A run like heck, B give up and plead insanity,
or C get out and push. Thinking quickly, we of
course chose the only logical option, of course, CEE get
out and push. After we pushed the car into a
(38:28):
vacant lot, my partner went for gas. Well. As luck
would have it, the police car that had been behind
us at the intersection pulled in behind our car. I
got out and explained our situation carefully, leaving out the
part about the two people who were lying prone on
the floorboard of the car. That was a good move, Yeah,
the officer seemed satisfied, at least he did up until
(38:49):
he saw the two people lying prone on the floorboard.
I quickly ran through my options again, this time choosing
a run like hack. As you can tell from my
return address, that option failed miserably. Well, guys, that's pretty
much the story I tell you the moral, but well,
(39:13):
there's not one. You're patal Tom Kent be for West
Virginia Correctional Institute. All right, y'all group stoop Step, Good morning,
(39:33):
The Big Show is on the Radio's see we're looking
at y'all on this show. Let's look what we got
coming up to this hour.
Speaker 5 (39:40):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Marcus the Painter on Outburst, one of our favorite contestants.
All right, a response to Jan Holly about Andy Taylor.
Speaker 4 (39:53):
Was an advertisement that you and Billy were spokesman for
for an agency and the.
Speaker 5 (39:58):
Agency didn't think we did did a very good job.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
It was a snippy letter. You remember that one, Oh
good good and it to it will be good. Uh,
let's say uh, and we have a follow up to
that as well. That's when we brought Floyd in on it, apparently.
And then I say here, Matthew can't get through. So
we are fielding questions as we turn our spotlight on
the Big Show listening.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
The more we seem to be turning it on the listeners,
the more butterholes we seem to be.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Thank you for noticing Marcus the Painter on Outburst. Let's
start all with that. Next
Good morning, God, good duddle. We've been on our little
beach outy.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I called him, called his house and.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
I just scream.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
I've been in the room with him when he has
that voice on. You don't want to know where his
hand I thought.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
It was between two.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
No, No, you know I'm right.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
You know I'm right.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
You lay in bed holding on to those thing down
there around the doodle, dude.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's why the next thing you usually hear is tell
me a story.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Or I've heard him actually turning with that pose and go,
what are you gonna do that?
Speaker 5 (00:52):
Before or after we spoon the question.
Speaker 6 (00:55):
I didn't but you over, but I see you kind
of got your hands full.
Speaker 7 (01:00):
Man.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
You know all these times we've been traveling, Randy, and
I've never seen you naked.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Yeah, to keep it that much, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
It's a vote from Sandy Pinkard A.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Pinkerd I remember remember that Bailey. It was years ago,
but he said they fired another drummer and they went
through more than spinal thing. I never trust him anyway,
all them days on the road and I never saw
him naked. They fired him. He ain't drussou road.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Maybe he don't like people comporting in.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
His moodity, and mad said, do you want me to
change the wording on the ad in the trading papers?
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
No, kidding, listen, I don't even like to see me naked.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
There's nothing about like because they read the whole thing wrong.
You need to spend some time on the road.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I'll reprise it. I don't even want to.
Speaker 7 (01:54):
See me back and Randy peel him off.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Let's go, I said, why don't you die? He said,
what color is?
Speaker 8 (02:02):
Now?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
We've got number nineteen, number nineteen, So cocka dottle do?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Yeah, yeah, I hear.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I was going to be sweet in the morning. You
got the dude dang gummy good morning to make show
(02:46):
us on the radio heavy Thanksgiving weekend. Let's go back.
We live for Thanksgiving moment.
Speaker 9 (02:52):
We all know history, but there's so much more we
don't know. I'm Sir David Attenborough and this is unknown history.
The year is sixteen twenty. A group of one hundred
(03:13):
weary passengers sailed from England to the New World aboard
the good ship Mayflower. They desperately wait for the news
that land is in sight.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
That's the sign you in the christ nest. Do you
see land?
Speaker 9 (03:34):
Latin his name was Kleine, a rather unusual stowaway, and
that he was a dromedary camel. He was hailed as
a hero and quickly took his place among his fellow pilgrims.
But the early days were not easy. Half the settlement
(03:56):
was lost that first year, and food was scarce. If
we do not get our crops to flourish, the entire
colony will perish. Clyde, I fear the future appears bleak.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
No, what's that? Yeare ask the natives?
Speaker 5 (04:16):
That's madness, that's savages.
Speaker 9 (04:18):
Yeah, Tonto, you say, yeah, Squanto, I'm sorry, Could you
do the introductions?
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (04:28):
Clyde brought Squanto before William Bradford. An agreement is profit,
and soon there was food a plenty, and the colony.
Speaker 5 (04:38):
Slowly struggled back.
Speaker 9 (04:40):
In a profound gesture of gratitude, the Pilgrims invited the
Native Americans to a feast of thanks and the tradition
of thanksgiving was born.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
We would not be here today if not for the
one known as Clyde. Here.
Speaker 9 (05:00):
That is the truth, is it not? William Bradford. Squatto
speaks the truth, and it's only fitting that Clyde give
the prayer.
Speaker 10 (05:13):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 9 (05:21):
Yeah, but things would take a dark turn. Clyde became
romantically entangled with Bradford's second wife, Dorothy.
Speaker 8 (05:36):
Oh, Clyde, we cannot continue our illcitrists. I fear my
husband is suspicious. Those hoof shaped bruises on my back
were hard to explain. Yeah, I told him I was
trampled by dear but alas he was unconvinced.
Speaker 10 (05:52):
Yeah yeah, all right, one last time, and it would
be the last time Clyde, Dorothy, my wife and my
best friend be gone and never return.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Him or me.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Him.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Eh.
Speaker 9 (06:15):
Clyde left in shame and never returned. No one knew
whatever became of him, but he did resurface years later.
So I just tie this key to this kite, eh,
But what about this stormy Until next time? This is
(06:36):
Sir David Edinburgh reminding you that.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
It's not the history.
Speaker 5 (06:39):
That's no, it's the history. I know.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Come on to the big shows on your radio, all ride,
I turner, let me see this is number our series.
All right, We're good, we'll actually about it next.
Speaker 11 (07:01):
Hey all, John Boy and Billy, you know who taught
me my ABC's and what it means to be kind
Sesame Street, but they need our help to keep it going.
So this holiday season, visit Sesame dot organ. Donate what
you can because the world needs Sesame and Sesame needs you.
(07:38):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
It's time to act like YO.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
What's up?
Speaker 12 (07:48):
Welcome to hold on Patrick, leave Astronut alone. He is
not going to autograph your copy of zombie Land.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
I oh, that's how he looks. But it ain't here.
Speaker 12 (08:01):
Go out out here, I spelled meet course if you
can find me some Welcome to x eche the place
to go for all the four one one you need
for all Yo. What you call a holy rleational relations
shrimp is se dig this ded ike.
Speaker 5 (08:20):
My wife and I just retired and moved from Maine
to a small town in Georgia.
Speaker 12 (08:25):
I don't want to say the name because they listened
to the show here. I really enjoy the laid back
lifestyle and the people are wonderful. As part of our
new year's resolution, we decided to go back to church.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
We're just not sure where to go.
Speaker 12 (08:41):
I know this is outside your area of expertise, but
what should I expect from a small country church?
Speaker 5 (08:47):
If you don't know, could you pass this on to
someone who might like Bidley.
Speaker 12 (08:51):
Thanks an awful lot, Mark and Giselle Gizell, I be
married to an antelope, small Georgia, dead geesus hell, ain't
nothing I don't know something about. I've been to a
little bit at Southern church, and despite what you might
have heard from some wannabe half calf latte brothers, it's
(09:13):
not a bunch of white people clinging the guns and religion.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
They was clinging to. They cousins.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Though you know it's a scientific fact that cousins are
good for practice.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Word to John Boy. Now, these were pretty good folks.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It's not a bunch of goobers snotting at the nose
and swinging rattlesnakes through the air and speaking in tongues.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
They do that on Monday nights. But it was different.
Speaker 12 (09:39):
I was dating this fine, thick, pale faced princess and
she insisted I go to.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Church with her and her family.
Speaker 12 (09:45):
Well, since she was throwing down in the boudoir, I
figured what, I try to make her happy with my
clothes on for a change. Ah, here was an eye
opener to say the least, let me preach on it
now instead of a bell. The call to worship is
recording to Jerk Cloyd going, oh, I can't do the boy.
(10:07):
At least twice a week someone in the congregation complains
about Noah putting coyotes on the ark.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
It ain't perfect world, I'll tell you what.
Speaker 12 (10:17):
Super Bowl Sunday is the first official church holiday of
the year, followed by the first.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Day a da season.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
One of the church members requested to be buried in
his four wheel drive pickup because it ain't never been
in a hole it couldn't get out of.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
It's real good folks too.
Speaker 12 (10:35):
Now the only time anyone locks their car doors is
the summertime, so no one can leave a back of
squash on the front seat.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
People are grossome, damn squashed down here. The choir, they
were just average. They called him the Okay Corral. I
like that one.
Speaker 12 (10:56):
They all thought rapture was what you got from helping
your fat cousin in the truck man. During parables, the
preacher used bad Guy Restless to illustrate the seven deadly seas,
and down here flet probably covered five or six on
body his own self. The preacher offers BC powders instead
(11:18):
of the host way for if you come in hung
over on Sunday. The baptismal tuble doubles is a live bait. Well,
the coat room also had a gun rack. They might
steal your gun with they leaving the squash in the
front seat of your car. The choir rooms covered with
(11:39):
church sponsored logos like a nashcar.
Speaker 13 (11:42):
And of course the preacher works get it done in
every service.
Speaker 12 (11:46):
You people in your damn kits preach not to be fair.
This is just what went down with me. These results
are not typical and may vary from your individual experience.
And no butt cracks were harmed with a tor of
a boot during these services.
Speaker 5 (12:01):
He sees Heike peace out.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
If you feel the need to Axike, mail to Axeke
John Mooy Millay and Pilbox seventy six sixty three. Charlotte
didn't see two eight two four one a live bait. Wa.
Good morning, the Big Show is on the radio. I
think for today. By the way, last week we looked
at us here at a big show. Today we turned
(12:25):
the camera, well we would if we had one, I
guess microphones in this case to you, the Big Show listener.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
So get your clothes off.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
If we don't see you Nick, and we don't trust you.
We learned that earlier the show. All right, so yeah,
let's turn it around, honor you the Big Show listener.
We'll start off with another letter coming up neck. Good morning,
(13:05):
the big shows on the radio. Come in.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Let us look at you.
Speaker 14 (13:14):
Oh we get letters. We get your letter up letters to.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Say, oh boy, alrighty, a flurry of activity out of
all these cities. The John boyn Billy Big Show broadcasts
annway here, a lot from Dallas, from Austin, and it
seems from Macon, Georgia. For some reason. Remember we had
the letter from forty five people at a party and
(13:51):
making Georgia listening things they hated about the Big Show.
We had to bring mister Taylor in. He recommended that
maybe their future parties a.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
Little drinking, little drinking, maybe some twister.
Speaker 15 (14:01):
Well there's another one for Megan, Georgia, Bam addressed to
John Boy Dear John Boy, the Big Show was recently
picked up here and making Georgie on Q one oh six.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Billboards of you and Billy are plastered all over town.
See your face six or more times each day. I
wake up to your voice each day, and you shower
with me. And then getting me off to work. I
have developed quite a crush on you and have even
(14:34):
began to dream of you, and I please don't think
this is a joke. I mean closing my business card
in a recent photo, hoping that you'll take this seriously.
If you would consider meeting me, I'll be happy to
come where you are. Please respond sincerely, Tracy. I'll just
(14:58):
give your first name, Tracy, and here the picture of Tracy.
Speaker 16 (15:05):
All right, I think I had a listene Uh well,
Tracy minutes, I think I can handle this all.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Come on in, come on head of.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
My good morning John Boy, morning now, and good morning
to you Tracy. I feel like I need y'all need
me on this one now, Tracy. We appreciate your interest
in the show, honey, although it is possible to take
(15:41):
a little bit too far. And may I say you're
a creeping up on that line you say.
Speaker 6 (15:49):
Now, believe me.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I've seen John Boy and Billy on a billboard before
running into him five six times a day. Well, I
can see how that prey on a person's mind, especially
a kindly high.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
Strung woman like you.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Say.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It was mighty nice of you run down to the
mall to glamour shots and make your real pretty picture there, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 6 (16:11):
A real pretty picture.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
But I got to say, now, this thing about being
in the shire with johnre well, you're starting to scare
me just the tensiest little beef. Now you say, please,
don't think this is a joke.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
Man, Believe me.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
If you're wanting to climb in the shire with John Boy,
I'm sure you're.
Speaker 6 (16:34):
Just real serious about it, you'd have to.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
But let me just say, like Jackie over there always
says you don't want to go there, No, ma'am, you
don't want fat at all. You see now, John boy,
he's already got a girl and a fine looking zest
for a living woman like yourself. Maybe you ought to
(16:59):
find you good local man to cozy too.
Speaker 5 (17:03):
In fact, I.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Hear tell there's a group about forty five of them
right there in town. That's just real right for some
female companionship. Y'all got the return address from that one
of that party last week. Maybe we could pass that
a lot of the trace. Now if I can just
say a word to the folks in making as a group,
y'all sure do run hot and cold. Got forty five
(17:27):
people at some party righting in wanting to fight with us.
And right down the road there there's old Tracy wanting
to slobber all over John bar Could y'all try to
find what they call a happy medium. Maybe he could
have a town meeting or something and talk this thing off. Now, Tracy,
we appreciate you writing to us, don't get me wrong.
(17:50):
Oh and John Wobilly, y'all lock like he got some smarts.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Good morning, The Big Show is on the radio. Okay,
just say we got here a little correspondence actions on
the Big Show. H Dear guys, Robert d said all
you had to do to get on your show was
to go to high school with John Boy. Well, here
are ten other ways to get on your show. All right, good,
(18:43):
this is some girls. Let me see some Alabama girls
from a felony manning Felony Yes her name, yes, she says, yes,
my name is pronounced felony. Well it is spelled p
h E. L Amy and my brother Arson. So anyways,
so we just had a top ten. Let's let's see
(19:03):
how the felling and the girls in her office, she says,
the girls and I got on a roll, and this
is what we came up with. The top ten ways
to get on your show.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Okay, number ten, sure you have the drum roll and
no it's.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Not worth it, believe me. Okay, So don't know for expect,
don't over expect. This is this is felonies. Okay. The
Alabama Girls Top ten how to get on the Big Show.
Number ten, be a beautiful, large breasted blonde woman in
a bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Speaker 6 (19:35):
That's a way to get to host the show.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Number nine be a beautiful, large breasted blonde woman in
a bikini. No, be a beautiful large breasted blonde Miss
Winston in a bikini bringing chicken wings, donuts and then coke. Okay.
Number eight be a beautiful, large breasted woman in a
bikini bringing chicken wings, don't, nuts, and a coke. Number
(20:02):
seven to be a beautiful, large breasted woman bringing chicken wings,
donuts and a coke. Number six be a large breasted
woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke. Number five
be a breasted woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Number four be a woman bringing chicken wings, donuts and
(20:23):
a coke. Number three bring chicken wings, donuts and a coke.
Number two bring donuts and a coke, and number one
bring donuts.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
So all right, that wasn't pretty good?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Let it go Felony Manning and the Girls in Alabama.
Good morning, the big shows on it? Ready? Can we
go back a minute and talk about naked in a
hotel room telling about my sister in law? That was
from my earlier conversation. Well, get said, this is my family, man,
you talk about like that.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Hey, hey, I've seen your sister in law. I know
your sister in law, I know you, I.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Know my cousins.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Now are you actually going to sit here and try
to truthfully say if you had the chance?
Speaker 5 (21:15):
Are you kidding me? I mean, no, excuse me just
a second.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
I'm gonna say right now, I am more of a
man than John boy is. And it's obvious y'all know
my sister in law, Barbara. I'm gonna tell you right now,
I don't care if my wife is sitting on my lap.
I'm gonna take the opportunity.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Yeah, but say but but but that goes back a
long way for you. I mean, you know, oh, it's
mean to your wife. You say, the worst thing you
ever said to him is your sister at home is
the worst.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Thing I ever said to Barbara.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Is your sister home. If y'all have Barbara, our big
show reception is here. She is a baby doll.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
But see that's okay for ready to say that, because
you know we all knowing true, that never happened.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Ye, you actually might have a shot. I won't take
damn man. I mean she was like running around in
diapers when I was dating her sister.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
So was Barbara.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
She still might from time to time.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
Getting you think you can talk Patty into doing.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
That so much trouble.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
I love my wife. I love her late.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
We're getting into a weird area, all right. Damn well,
your heterosexuality is flaming right.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
And everybody's gonna see him naked.
Speaker 14 (22:38):
Me.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Oh, that was a let's level the playing field film
A cracking is coming up?
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Rather didn't have more coffee field?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Good on to make shows on the radio. Let's check
it on our part time receptionist Bill McCracken at the
front desk.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
All the sad old men in their trust. They strain
when playing shuffle board. They can't bend down oi they Oh,
a deep breath is going overboard. I go to the store.
Pick up Milt. That's when I feel a stab in pain.
Pick up my cat oivey. Oh, there's that awful pain again.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
I heard the.
Speaker 17 (23:33):
Doc who was in shock say, way, oh, way, way way,
life with the hernie.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Uh, life with the hernie. Uh.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Hello, bab, please be patient with me today. It seems
I've herniated myself. How did I do it? I can
tell you exactly how I did it. I had to
lift up John boys legendary big bag. Well I should
have looked at it before I even attempted that clean
and jerk.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Let's see.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
There was a pan of leftover chicken wings, two cases
of diet coke, five twelve packs of cherry pop tarts, cups, plates, paper, towel,
and toilet paper. It's like he was channeling mister Rayford.
But I guess it's easier to shop here than stop
at the store. I'm sorry, I meant to say cheaper.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
So what's do with you bubbaloo? Uh huh?
Speaker 3 (24:34):
You had to you had to retake your driving test, Oh,
because of the.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
Tickets right right, right, right right, and you failed? How
on earth?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Every time the car stopped you jumped in the back seat. Well,
you know, old habits are hard to break. This, why
don't you touch up the fabulous and well? Goot along
to Eron's Okay, kay kay, there she goes a little further.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Had a girl? No, no, no, he's married. Keep going.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Not in the planter again, that's the door she's in,
and it's clothes. God, you know the difference between butter
and a blonde butter can be hard to spread.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Job min chow cooking. I'm help you, yes, ma'am, uh huh,
you have a complaint. Welcome to the club.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
I bought a pair of French cut tappants at Cato,
and when I got him home I could barely squeeze it. Oh,
I'm sorry. Let's make this all about you. Hello, Oh,
my stars and garters. That was better than cheesecake.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
You you need a cigarette and I don't even spoke.
Speaker 14 (25:58):
H'll fisting.
Speaker 5 (25:59):
I'm help you. You've got to complain? Oh did you
pick the wrong day? Bring it on? You're mad about
a song they played?
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Really really here, try the take the index finger and
push the channel changer. Then take the thumb, spin on
it and stick it. Oh, here comes the blonde bombshell.
Gotta go, and ma'am dust.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
I always say that, Hello, my angel. Oh gossip yum
yum yum yum yum yum yum. What's the dirt skirt?
Amber is pregnant again?
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Good heavens? What does she use for protection? The bus shelter?
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Good? Good, good? Oh my head better stuck up on
the BC.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Powders do the ninny coomber, carry on straight, pap, Good morning.
The Big Show is on the radio. If you have
it and us. If you have asked questions, we will
attempt to answer some of them today.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Send pictures, don't no, don't.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Remember the nickname that I gave you a while back
and you didn't like.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
First.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
We will answer a question that we get. Sometimes it
might be from you. Hang on, Good morning, the Big
(27:42):
Shows on the radio.
Speaker 6 (27:43):
This may be a good day to turn the focus
away from us and the listen.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
It's going folks among us. We did last week when
we suppose pulling out here.
Speaker 14 (28:03):
Letters, Oh, we get letters. You get your letter right here?
I lost those letters.
Speaker 11 (28:19):
You got to say, oh boy, alright, out of the
old mail bag.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
A letter from Dallas Billy.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yes, indeed, let's read that sucker, John Boy and Billy
I've been listening to your show for a few days
now and have a question. Are we in the Dallas
area getting the show the same day or is there
a tape delay? I hear you guys saying seventeen after
the hour a lot, or is that because you're on
the air in more than one time zone. Pardon my ignorance,
I just wanted to know. Sincerely, Becky King, Plano, Texas.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Well, Billy, let me answer that. Of course, we are
absolutely live. This is a live broadcast. This is not
take delayed.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Everything you hear is going to live in our Big
Show studios throughout the South, into.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Different radio stations in our Big Show family soon. Bro.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I think I asked that is there are a lot
of guys who do syndicated radio from say the West Coast,
and a lot of them are tape delayed.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yeah, but not on this broad You don't like they
think we really want to hear it that bad to
listen to it very late that's going on, But no,
not right here on this Big Show. Everything is absolutely loud.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
You're hearing it as it happens.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
I mean, if we had a chance to go back
and listen to it would cut out some of the stupos,
absolutely listen to it would cut out some of the stupo,
would cut out some of the stupid. So and we're
not trying to fool you. This show is live because
if we were like Sad it was live and it wasn't,
that would be wrong, very very wrong. So as you're
(30:02):
hearing the Big Show Ner City, it is happening here
in a big show studio. Thank you for your letter.
What do we have for it? Okay, not a thing.
It's a big show, absolutely live and free. Did I
mention good on in the big shows on the radio?
(30:32):
All right? I was hoping a playhouse was popping up
here sometime soon.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
I need to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Now, looking forward to this playhouse coming up next. Good
(31:02):
morning to bike shows on the radio.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
It's time.
Speaker 7 (31:07):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the
Holiday Shakedown. As our story opens, Ricky B. Sharp is
preparing for a relaxing Saturday at the Sharp home in Dothun, Alabama.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Let's see here, two high school twelve packs of beer,
two boxes of fun sized hot pockets, new.
Speaker 5 (31:31):
Batteries in the remote, and the wife's out of town
for the day.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
It's the perfect couch potato Saturday.
Speaker 5 (31:44):
Hello, Hello that gum.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Oh hey Lipsey. Now I'm final. I'm losing my mind.
I was answering the phone before I've picked it up. Well,
how's your sister's foot? Oh, still can't put wade on it?
Speaker 5 (32:05):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
And you're standing in Opa Loka for an extra day? Well,
I reckon, I can muddle through somehow. You just get
home when you can. Okay, booger bye, whole extra day
to myself. Couch Potato Saturday is getting better and better.
(32:33):
She loves that stupid as Jetson show. Who the sam
hell could that be? Hang On, I swear to god,
I'm getting rid of this monster. That's how the hinges
(33:00):
of them hot pokers.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
Are coming back on my house.
Speaker 18 (33:04):
Bless your hearts. Such a heavy door for such a
small feller. Well, good morning, are you mister sharp?
Speaker 5 (33:11):
Who wants to know?
Speaker 18 (33:13):
Debbie Moran? I'm with the Christmas Fund of Dothan. I
ran into your wife at the grocery store the other
day and she said this would be a good time
to stop buying chat.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Let me guess you're looking for money and you thought
you would hit up the big local celebrity cover your
nut for the whole month.
Speaker 5 (33:39):
Why he's Dothan's.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Most beloved fast food mask, he's bound to be loaded. Well,
didn't my wife tell you about her sister and the
chronic foot problems and no health insurance? She tell you
about my idiot brother, the lost his house and a divorce.
I ain't got two nickels to rub together? Well, Or
am I dope pet Nephie?
Speaker 13 (34:00):
You running up a massive bill at the rehab place,
Or my skagky needs to got dumped by some wormy
little pot liquor that got her pregnant, or that stupid
Jensen's doorbell cost me a fortune a freaking monster's.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
Doors by breaking my heart.
Speaker 6 (34:15):
She mentioned any of that, No, sir, she did is well.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Riddle me this, blondie.
Speaker 17 (34:21):
If I don't give money to any of them, why
would I give it to you, son of them?
Speaker 6 (34:31):
We hope enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 13 (34:34):
But I think that that that that that you could
leave the top two buttons.
Speaker 5 (34:39):
Nickel. Tune up again next time.
Speaker 6 (34:41):
We hear the crusty old foot doctor in opal.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Listen, good
(35:07):
morning the big shows on the radio, turning our attention
to you, the big show listener. Come on, let's sing
at yours ladders.
Speaker 9 (35:17):
Oh, we get letters, We get your letters, man today,
turn one up.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Okay, maybe we don't know all the word.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Show boy thing doll mal today. All right, we've got
a letter here from uh Beaver, West Virginia, from the
correctional institute there, John barn Billy. Let me first say
I'm one of your most dedicated fans. Captive fans is
more like it, since I'm presently under the watchful eyes
(35:57):
of the federal government at a correctional facility in West Virginia,
Which brings me to the reason I'm writing. I listened
to dumb crook news all the time and have yet
to hear anything that tops my ordeal. After a long
day of Bruce swilling, a friend and I decided to
find a pizza. We drove across the state line and
rolled into a small dark town. It was small and
(36:19):
dark because it was one thirty in the morning and
everything was closed. Oh just then, I closed one eye,
I'm sure you've done that, and saw a light in
the distance. As we drew near, we could make out
the words bar and grill and it was open. Well, well,
we figured where there's beer, there's bound to be pizza,
so we went inside. Bad news, the grill was closed.
(36:43):
Good news, the bar was open. Huh Oh. Now, like
the guy who wrote you recently about his beer run said,
alcohol tends to make you think somewhat differently. And after
downing another twelve pack, we decided to relieve the establishment
of their daily cash intake.
Speaker 6 (37:01):
Oh, it's taking an ugly turn.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Needless to say, this didn't go over too well with
these folks, and they started to get a little fussy.
Here's where the dumb really comes in. Since alcohol on
an empty stomach never did get our pizza, by the way,
tends to make you feel like a cross between Al
Capone and John Dillinger, we decided to take the folks
there in the bar for a ride. Oh. We returned
(37:29):
to our starting point just across the state line with
our passengers. We have since learned that the FBI are
automatically involved when you cross a state line with folks
that don't want to cross the state line.
Speaker 5 (37:41):
I've heard that yet.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
In other words, what we called a ride, the authorities
called kidnapping. Imagine our surprise. It's now two thirty in
the morning, As we come to a stoplight, our adventure
takes a new twist. We run out of gas. This
stop light is at one of the town's major intersections,
(38:04):
and one of the several cars behind us is a
police cruiser. As we saw it, we had three options.
A run like heck, B give up and plead insanity,
or C get out and push. Thinking quickly, we of
course chose the only logical option, of course, CEE get
out and push. After we pushed the car into a
(38:28):
vacant lot, my partner went for gas. Well. As luck
would have it, the police car that had been behind
us at the intersection pulled in behind our car. I
got out and explained our situation carefully, leaving out the
part about the two people who were lying prone on
the floorboard of the car. That was a good move, Yeah,
the officer seemed satisfied, at least he did up until
(38:49):
he saw the two people lying prone on the floorboard.
I quickly ran through my options again, this time choosing
a run like hack. As you can tell from my
return address, that option failed miserably. Well, guys, that's pretty
much the story I tell you the moral, but well,
(39:13):
there's not one. You're patal Tom Kent be for West
Virginia Correctional Institute. All right, y'all group stoop Step, Good morning,
(39:33):
The Big Show is on the Radio's see we're looking
at y'all on this show. Let's look what we got
coming up to this hour.
Speaker 5 (39:40):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Marcus the Painter on Outburst, one of our favorite contestants.
All right, a response to Jan Holly about Andy Taylor.
Speaker 4 (39:53):
Was an advertisement that you and Billy were spokesman for
for an agency and the.
Speaker 5 (39:58):
Agency didn't think we did did a very good job.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
It was a snippy letter. You remember that one, Oh
good good and it to it will be good. Uh,
let's say uh, and we have a follow up to
that as well. That's when we brought Floyd in on it, apparently.
And then I say here, Matthew can't get through. So
we are fielding questions as we turn our spotlight on
the Big Show listening.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
The more we seem to be turning it on the listeners,
the more butterholes we seem to be.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Thank you for noticing Marcus the Painter on Outburst. Let's
start all with that. Next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.