October 25, 2024 • 47 mins
Friday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll give Carl Childers and that big girl from the Dollar Tree some spotlight time.. - It’s Friday, so we gotta Bang on the Drum.. - The Not Ready for Drive-Time Players have a new script entitled, “A Proper Burial”.. - John Boy reads an essay submitted to a college admissions committee.. - We’ll give away some more of John Boy’s crap.. - and Tom Sorensen gloats over another week of winning picks from last week’s NFL action and we’ll see if he he can do it again this week!..
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, Big Shows on a radio more Big Show.
Right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
This is Buzz Nutlet with a bulletin Big Show Knows
reporter live on the scene of a major disaster.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
I've never seen such carnage.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
And may I remind you that I was at the
Great Donna Pass Barbecue eating the buckle of nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
This is much much worse.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's a massacre of mammoth proportions the tattered caucasses.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Of other morning shows lit at the battlefield.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You're listening to the victors in this morning radio war,
John Boy and.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Billy on the Big Show. Now, can I turn in
my expense receipts?
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
God, no, no in here? All right?
Speaker 3 (01:13):
You see that?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Okay? Where we are? Good mornings yup until morning. That's Friday.
We made it barely, but here we are, Friday, October
twenty fifth. Wow. Man, the whole year just seems like
it's wow. Months ago, then years ago. Before you know
what's going on was look at our national days. We
(01:39):
want to participate in this National Greasy Foods Day. Okay,
no problem. National Pharmacy by your Day recognizes the professionals
who helped keep the pharmacy shelfs stopped and I guess
that's going all right, way to go. Very important job.
Y'all got there. Thank you. National Frankenstein Friday. Ah for bud.
(02:05):
We like it. Hey, National Greasy Foods Day again.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I always say they wasn't running late. I'll get older
about that in the car. I'm always for being late.
National bread Stick Day, out of Work, National Mary Music Day.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
So right, So everybody probably has the same place that's
their favorite for breadsticks.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Olive Garden. Right, Oh, that's the best.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
There's something really close in your grocer's freezy freezer case.
Speaker 7 (02:36):
Now.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Texas Toast is making buttered breadsticks and they are exactly
like the olive right.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, all right, Texas Toast buttered breadsticks. All right, where
the go You you win National bread Stick Day. Yeah,
we got three days saved up that will work for
our categories to get that winning beginning like we want
to do Friday. Hey, wake up, Big shows on the radio.
(03:04):
Good morning, Big Shows on a radio. First prize pack
one hundred twenty dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products
made in the USA. You can find bull Snot at
truck stops across America. You go to the Big Show
dot Com, click on that bull snot banner, and you
will get all the info you need. We're gonna give
you all the info you need right now for our
(03:25):
three dates in history, where we'll get our categories. October
twenty fifth oh three. With his three hundred and thirty
ninth victory, Florida State's Bobby Bowden became the winning his
football coach and major college history. The Seminoles beat Wake
Forest forty eight, twenty four and oh three. Bobby like
(03:47):
that man? Oh four Outside of London nightclub, England's Prince
Harry Suver to Bruce Nose after he lunches out a photographer,
yelling why don't you just leave me alone? That's fine? Finally,
on this date, No seven, how about Kid Rock. He
(04:09):
is arrested after he and members of his crew getting
into a fight at a waffle house in Atlanta. Well
that's a good place to do it, all right. It might
be fueling to get some scatters, mother and covered old
kid there in the waffle Ah. Y'all, there's your categories
one eight hundred Big Shows. You told free line, Come on,
play out bursts next, Good morning, there's a Big Show
(04:57):
on the radio, Friday, October twenty five. Today's feature track
for the Big Show mid Box Hansen's Halloween Karaoke. I'll
put a smell on you. There's your words, Halloween Hanson.
Hear the Big Box at the Big Show dot com
and right now do that win on.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Uts.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Let's play upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
John Boy and Billy give the prizes from the big
Prize being. Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
This should really be a lot of.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Funks in your playing uppers. Have a hurry up and
guest time you love the best time. You have a
big shot. Let's say head on my goal from a Kin,
South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
We have the shots.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Good morning, Michael, Good morning, Hey buddy. All right Michael, Aigan,
South Carolina one of my favorite spots there. Thanks to
my boy Henry Kado. God that we are so glad
that the rich Yankees wanted to place down south to
move their horses during those rough winter months that they
go with. They found Aigan, South Carolina. The footing to
(06:23):
say that everything is just perfect for horses. Well that's
what I learned. Go Rich Yankees. We appreciate it now.
Going back. We got it now that you driven the
property values up. I always been like that for a while,
so hell yeah, cool spot.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Michael.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Well, I'm glad you're in here. Body. Good morning, good morning,
Glad to be with you. All right, Well, let's get
you through these three categories and get you one hundred
twenty dollars worth of that bull snot. Give us three
college football coaches. Ready, go.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Tabo bouton Playden.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Bama, Am I gonna was what it's talking about? All right? Now,
give us three body parts that will bruise. Ready, go uh,
your arm, your leg, and your eye. Michael knows what
he's honey back. And now for the wind. Three restaurants
that serve waffles. Ready, go waffle House at little House.
(07:23):
Look as you're bringing mindel house in for the whims.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Michael will work.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Dollars worth of Ball's not cleaning products, some good stuff
headed down the egg can Michael, congratulations, buddy there, All right,
that's the bottom of the hour. Who comes at the
top of your news On the other side, I call
(07:50):
off Happy Boys. First name Friday Morning's what we'll do.
(08:29):
Good morning makes shows on the radio. Alright, nows and
time on Friday morning, we called out to the happy boys.
Speaker 8 (08:45):
I was walking down the street on a sunny day,
feeling in my bones, says I have my weed bub
i'ma hap to be boy. I happen to be boys.
Oh we did good. When things are going here? We hey, Hey, my.
Speaker 5 (09:01):
Little box pot got hit my car Ubble hubbub of Hubbo.
Speaker 8 (09:04):
But his guns in the box and put him in
a drawer.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Well, I'm a have beat boy. I'm a happy boy.
Speaker 8 (09:12):
Oh in and good when things are going here, we
hey hey.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Oh, forgot all about it for a month and a half.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Ubb Hubbo I looked into the drawer and started to laugh.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Hubbub of Hubbs. Because i'ma have to be boy. Ima
have me boy?
Speaker 8 (09:43):
Oh in a good when things are going here?
Speaker 9 (09:45):
We hey hey, Yes, morning, big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
All right.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Usually we get an entry into the Diary of Gary
Busey will be changing it up this October the twenty fifth.
It's time for the Diary of Count Dracula.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Dear Diary, this is Count.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Drag Halloween again.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Whoop the friggin dough.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I'll tell you, Diary, after six hundred years, I must
be getting old. I used to look forward to October thirty.
First terrorize the villagers, drink some blood Frank called the
van Helsings, then back in the box by six am
for some solid sack time and dream about.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
The night hijinks.
Speaker 10 (11:10):
Now it's like I don't even want to lift the lid,
just lay there and watch Family Guy reruns to the
Jumbo Halloween Sucks.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Last year was a real eye opener. Crazy Renfield and
I decided to go to the city blending catch a
buzz on some alcohol infused all positive chickies. Well that's
not as easy as it used to be. Gone on
the days, some easy pickings, you could buy any girl,
(11:46):
any time, anywhere. Now you have to be so careful
who you sink your teeth into. Along for the days
of a milky white throat bands Pauls sing with the
nectar that I first for Now you can't see their necks,
for all the tattoos, butterflies and tribal doodles, the Chinese
(12:13):
symbol for hot sour soup gross or just my luck
across that's an appetite killer. And once you get past
all the top culture earthwork, you still don't know what's
underneath the blood used to be as pure as spring water.
(12:38):
Now it's a great, big, dirty crapshoot. The last thing
I want to do is spend the next six hundred
years nursing a case.
Speaker 11 (12:47):
Of hepsie or tibola.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
That kind of thing makes being immortal a big pain
in the ass. Hollowe used to be a time to
move freely amongst the customed populace, picking and choosing tasty
morsels for a late night snack. These days crime and
(13:13):
e diary. What a nightmare used to be so simple.
People used to dress like witches and devils and monsters.
Costumes were mythic. There was mystery and horror. Now everyone
is dressed like the Avengers or Duck Dynasty or somebody
(13:33):
named SpongeBob.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Pass Killers.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Perhaps the most perplexing development is that no one can
tell I'm a vampire?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
What no hell? What's not to get? The pale skinned, red.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Eyes, the black suit, the John Travolta hirdoo, the cap,
the damn k.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
The guipe is anonymous with the vampire.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
You look a vampire in the dictionary, he's my picture.
But if one more kid asks me if I'm Professor Snape,
going to throw myself on a wooden stake.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I'll tell you that right now.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
First off, I pride myself in my sophisticated masculinity. Snake
looks like a Nancy Boy, like a slightly more hygienic genine.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Grockl and the fangs? Did Professor Snape have fangs? Jumping
je horse?
Speaker 7 (14:46):
A fat?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
How did people get so stupid?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I shouldn't be surprised. Look at what passes for a
vampire these days. Crazy Renfield and I rented Twilight some
androgynists girly Man with Johnny cash hair woodrow by aber
Zombian feat. A vampire is supposed to suck your blood,
(15:13):
SKay just suck.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Well, Diri got the go.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Crazy Renfield and I are going to Wolmart stuck up
on toilet paper. We're going to hit Frankenstein's castle. Har
Last year we did the flaming bag of dog poo
on the porch, but him hollering firebad gets old after
one hundred years. Until next time, Iri Xes and O's count.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Drug money our big shows on your radio.
Speaker 12 (15:56):
Hello you perky early riser. Here's just the thing to
wake you up and get your blood pumping. The John
Boy and Billy big show. Why, before you know it,
you'll be bouncing off the walls.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Just like me.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Ooh wah hvah oh.
Speaker 11 (16:25):
See what I mean?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, morning, it's a big show on the radio before
you Friday head into college football action. Yeah, he ain't
gaming two tonight in big games tomorrow. And of course
it's the big Bama Tailgate Joe. We all look forward
to within the Bama Tailgate Show on YouTube. You got
(17:20):
gating and grilling with Carlin Cook and Kevin Sport. Kevin
bringing the connecta sausage, Carl bringing our John Boy Billy
rubs and grilling sauces. This week Alabama pig shots. You
need to know connecta saucge, grab it than bacon, John
Moore Billy pork rub. Let's get you a little tooth
picked there from a porky shot. Glassy fill the bacon
(17:45):
shot with a cream cheese mixture which consists of room
temperature cream. Get the room temperature sheddar cheese, John Bore
Billy pork rub, Johnbobilly original grilling sauce. Topped the shot
off with a corner slice of the old pepper place
eat shot on a cooling ruck. Plase, I'm on your
three hundred fifty degree smoker or grilled thirty forty five
(18:07):
minutes or until done to your liking. In the last
five minutes brush with John Boymilly original grilling sauce that
it's your Alabama pig shots.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
This is definitely the wrong music for this whole thing.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Should be like Carl Well, lets I say, use you
some hall so I didn't want to bring it down
through right there. This's just happy music. Heading to the
Obama Telgate shoe gaining and grilling college Kevin's sport. It'll
drop by three pm Saturday afternoon. Been tomorrow, y'all have
ad it? Good morning, big shows on the radio. All right,
(18:44):
all about college sports, college football. Have I some college
humor with Carl and Melinda. Hold on right there, y'all. First,
I'm men tell you about the prize pack somebody's gonna
win when we play John boyd Jebony in minutes is
a hat, T shirt, tumbler and a twenty five dollars
gas card from Lord Tigers. Motorcaca Lawyers said, ride plus
that will register you to win that one of a
(19:05):
kind Big Show motorsaga from Lord Tigers, custom built by
Rick Bray of RKB Customs. Click on the link at
the Big Show dot com. Make sure you're registered to win.
All right, and now it's story time with your host,
Carl Childerns.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Hey there, John boy, little feller.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
I heard you and them other fellas making a fuss
over them country boys or whoping.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Them football players. Match stated kindly looked like a mitten.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
I played me some football time to time with that
Weekly boy Frank and his friends. I stove up pretty quick.
I was old and give out. I never wasn't no
count at it. That Weekly boyd always yell at me,
what you drop the ball firm?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
What you dropped the ball firm? So I just.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I just think with what the good Lord meant me
to do, small engine repair and comedy, that.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I found me a boat one sports humor over to
the mall. It's all about.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
College sports teams and whatnot. They ain't a whole past
love them. I'm only telling the one without curse words
in it. I had not a talk like that, but
at least I was able to work up and act
for me and Melinda. And when mister Murray over the
red Hot Telent puts us on something called the college circuit,
(20:37):
we can do something for you, and you want us to.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
You ready to Melinda, I.
Speaker 13 (20:42):
Need to sit down my fate heart. I can't do comedy.
If my feth heart I don't know about you, but
if my faith heart, I just don't feel funny.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
All right?
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Then you have a seat over here next to a
little feller some folks calling Billy.
Speaker 13 (21:06):
I called you, Hey, Billy, I have to sit here
because my fate hard. I hope it's okay. Absolutely it
is not okay. You let me know. I can move
if I have to. I don't want to, though, Well,
don't worry about this chair is comfortable?
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 13 (21:28):
Is your chair coat?
Speaker 4 (21:31):
Her feet hurt, but her jaw seemed to be working.
All right, Then let me do our comedy skit. We
can get you back to the dollar store for Mezoochie
gets all upset.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
You want to introduce us?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Oh yeah, I got your hair. That's a gent amount
of comedy. Silence, Oh, Carl and a big girl from
the dollar store.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
She don't like to be called big girls? And Melinda?
All right? Then is this thing?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Addie?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Folks? Hey, Melinda? What do you reckon?
Speaker 4 (22:12):
The average Mississippi State player gets on his essayts drool.
Speaker 13 (22:23):
Hey Carl, I saw you watching those cheerleaders on the TV. Yes,
what do you get when you put thirty two Arkansas
cheerleaders in one room?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Full set of teeth?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Speaking of cheerleaders, and we were why do them Auburn
cheerleaders all wear beibs to keep.
Speaker 13 (22:47):
The tobacco juice off their uniforms?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I thought maybe that would help.
Speaker 13 (22:54):
I wonder where my fate still?
Speaker 4 (23:01):
And Melinda, how do you get a Georgia graduate off
your porch?
Speaker 13 (23:07):
You're paying for the pizza? Hey Carl, why is the
Vanderbilt football team like a pallsum.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Well on account of they played dead at home and
get killed on the road? Get it?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Melinda? What a Florida State students call their freshman year.
Speaker 13 (23:34):
The three longest years of their lives? Hey Carl? How
how many freshman Hokies does it take to change.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
A light bulb?
Speaker 3 (23:47):
None? Right, there's a sophomore course in Virginia, Texas. Hold
I'll say she does that? Do that turkey gobble?
Speaker 9 (24:00):
Oh?
Speaker 13 (24:04):
I don't feel like school spirit right now?
Speaker 3 (24:08):
You just hold on. We got a couple more jokes here.
Where do you where do you reckon? That? O? J?
Feller was headed in that there.
Speaker 13 (24:14):
Bronco Lexington, Kentucky. He knew the police would never look
for a Heisman Trophy winner there, Hey Carl, why did
Tennessee choose orange for their team color?
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Well, they can wear it to the game on Saturday,
hunting on Sunday and picking up trash.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
A long I forty.
Speaker 13 (24:50):
Well, I don't have any other jokes written down.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
That's an account of we're done, good night, and don't
forget to tip over you waiters.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Thank John Boy, so long, low Feller.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
All right, well that work there, don't work. We're gonna
bang on the drum a little bit and get back
to college. All right, Okay, it's gonna work out. Fun.
Let's play John Boy Jeopardy, shall we?
Speaker 5 (25:17):
All right?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Yes? Okay, review yesterday's question. We found out when Milton
Oh no, no, we found out that when we found
out officials overseeing the nineteen eighty one Miss America pageant
disqualified Miss New York for illegal use of this banned
substance during the swimsuit competition. I believe it was patting,
it was padding. You can't pad that or that? All right,
(25:41):
Today's John Boy Jeopardy. In sixteenth century European weddings. The
groom's best man was chosen for his fighting ability and swordsmanship.
He would stand by the groom fully armed to prevent
this from happening during the ceremony. Badger attack. I don't
(26:01):
know what y'all got one eight hundred big show you
told free line across America. We played John boyd Jeopardeine
Next you going in. It's a big show on a radio.
(26:42):
Order to your Friday, October twenty fifth. What today's feature
TrackMan to make show, Big Box Hanson's Halloween Karaoke. I
put a spell on you. Here's Riggie words Halloween Hanson
and you hear the Big Box at the Big Show
dot Com are right now. Let's yells live across America.
Speaker 14 (27:02):
It's John Boy, Jeff and now a man who reminds
you marriage.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Is like a deck of cards.
Speaker 14 (27:09):
It starts out all hearts and diamonds, and near the
end you're wishing for a club in a spade.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
He's John Boy that I get.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Say Hey to Kenny out of Chattanooga, Tennessee. Good morning, Kenny,
Hey guys, good morning, Hey buddy, welcome. All right, Well,
you got the first shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning.
I hope you're up on your sixteenth century European weddings.
Back then, Kenny, the groom's best man was chosen for
(27:42):
his fighting ability and swordsmanship. He would stand by the
groom fully armed to prevent this from happening during the ceremony.
What do you think, Kenny, I'm going to take a
wild guess here, and I'm going to say, either to
keep the bride from running off or maybe some from
coming and snacking her up. I don't want nobody snatching
(28:04):
the bride or her running away. Let's see.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
You know that, all right?
Speaker 1 (28:13):
No matter what her reason, she was not leaving that ceremony. No,
so the kidnapped the bride. I don't know if that happened, well,
the parents would come.
Speaker 6 (28:23):
If it was, like you know, I'm not an arranged marriage,
the parents would come.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
And steal her back. There you go. All right, Well,
look at Kenny chatting. Who knows all that? And we're
talking now. They got the Big Old law Tiger's Motorcycle
Prize pack. Kenny, you're naming a hat for the Big
Show motorcycle. Congratulations?
Speaker 5 (28:39):
All right, thank you?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
All right, buddy, all right, just jump out and catch
you up on you are new on the other side.
Bout time by Friday mornings on and we'll get it kids,
going good morning, big show's on the radio's time by
(29:35):
finda morning's all hit.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
It and before eleven o'clock tonight.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Mister, you better find yourself another line of work.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
That's when sure, don't fix your fistil It's.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
One hundred and six miles to Chicago.
Speaker 9 (29:49):
We got a full tank of gas, half a pack
of cigarettes.
Speaker 5 (29:52):
It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 11 (29:55):
Hit it.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
I hate work, I hate work, I hate working.
Speaker 7 (30:07):
I've been having a very bad Nay.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
I don't, okay, I don't. I'm just gonna skip meat.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Day.
Speaker 11 (30:41):
Then you just just cool. She's got.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Yeah what work work, work, work, work, work work. Hey man,
what are we gonna do?
Speaker 13 (31:09):
Man?
Speaker 10 (31:09):
We got to get out of here.
Speaker 11 (31:10):
You have a light.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
I mean, do you do anything with liked this freepie stuff?
Speaker 1 (31:15):
What do you do for fun?
Speaker 9 (31:16):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (31:16):
No, we don't have fun. We just we just work.
Here's here's our fun. Right, work work, work, work, work,
work work.
Speaker 13 (31:23):
Well.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I realized my father makes a lot of money, but
you see he's not giving me any. Yeah, weekend Saturday Sunday,
the time between work and more work, the time when
you go out looking for happiness and end up punched
over somewhere else's toilet.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
The weekend, things are at their darkest.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Pal. It's a brave man, can kick party.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
All is with taste?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
You is.
Speaker 13 (31:47):
Cool?
Speaker 5 (31:47):
Bust off five.
Speaker 8 (32:30):
Oh no, I am not today.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I may cat paid.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Work work?
Speaker 13 (32:44):
What what? What?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
What?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
What's what's work?
Speaker 3 (32:47):
I hate work?
Speaker 13 (32:47):
I hate work.
Speaker 15 (32:48):
I hate what.
Speaker 10 (32:51):
I'm said.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Duds the morning big shows on the radio, and every
(33:30):
Friday got a brand new playhouse and it's time action.
Speaker 7 (33:36):
Hello friends, your old pal Burnt Burn here with another
toenail twisting edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode a proper burial. As our story opens, an elderly
Jewish woman is meeting with her rabbi.
Speaker 16 (33:51):
I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me, Rabbi.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Oh, it's no problem.
Speaker 7 (33:56):
Doctor Phil doesn't start for another fifteen minutes, so it
seemed trimbled.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
That's the buzz. Tell me what's happening?
Speaker 16 (34:03):
Well, you know I keep messing your pigeons, right, Okay? Well,
my beloved smoothly passed away yesterday. You remember schmooley.
Speaker 7 (34:12):
Let's see, Yeah, pigeon, about your big kind of Walleye,
the one you used to send donations to the temple,
that's him.
Speaker 13 (34:19):
Well, that Walleye did him in.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Oh no, what happened?
Speaker 16 (34:22):
He flew into a wall.
Speaker 7 (34:24):
Uh so that's why they call it that. Well, what
can I do for you? You want me to say
a special prayer foreb or something.
Speaker 16 (34:30):
I was wondering if I might be able to, you know,
bury him in all cemetery.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
What, of course you can't. That's forbidden in the Torah. Besides,
they're so daty. They poop on the statue of Moses.
Speaker 16 (34:42):
You knowy didn't you make an exception? I mean, I'd
really like to bury him on sacred soil.
Speaker 7 (34:49):
Look, darling, I'd love to help you, but my hands
are tied. I let you bury your pigeon here, punny,
So now I'm digging holes for who knows what. I'm
really sorry for your loss, but I gotta say no.
Speaker 16 (34:59):
Okay, I understand. I'll just ask the Methodists if I
could use their cemetery, excuse me, cemetery for five hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
That's all five hundred dollars. Why didn't you say it
was a Jewish pigeon boy vee?
Speaker 7 (35:12):
I mean, and how we hope you enjoyed John Boy
and Billy playhouse. Well, I can knock one hundred bucks
off if you just let the temple can eat it.
Tune in next time when we'll hear the poop covered
statue of Moses saying.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
there's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 15 (35:43):
Helly, you lindsay premouth here when I'm on this side
of the pond, I get my daily dose of culture
and edification every morning from these two delightful lands, John
Boy and Billy right here on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
You know, I hate to break it to you, boys,
but where I come from, You're all, yeah, who will?
Speaker 3 (36:03):
I thought it was Patty.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Here's
your one hour alert. Well, John boys, wonderful thing giveaway
number one hundred and twenty two. About hour, we'll give
away that embroidered had from the American White Tail Authority
is still telling me to get your name and the
hab four it go to the Big Show dot com,
pull up the picture. You know what to do that
(36:58):
I got that I want to tell you congratulations to
our third finalists, our third out of five finalists for
the Big Show Custom Motorcycle and talking about Gene Dollum
out of Roanoak Rapids, North Carolina. It's our third finalists
going along with Dwayne out of Warner Robins, Georgia Dave
(37:21):
out of Jasper, Alabama. Two more finalists before we picked
from the five finalists. That means you got time to
November one. Go to Big Show Bike dot com, make
sure your names and a half. Good morning, Big Shows
on the radio. Since we mess around about colleges this morning,
(37:42):
I got something special for you. I won't share it
just a second. First, let me tell you about the
prize pack you can win if you can beat our blonde.
There's an assortment of small batch handcook peanuts from bert
County Peanuts, a Southern tradition for over one hundred years.
We looked up that county there, Bertie, Anew was close
(38:04):
to Hyde.
Speaker 6 (38:05):
It's spelled b E r t i E if you're
looking for it on the web, but it is pronounced Bertie.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
That's just a local thing, that's it. And we want
y'all to know what the great gift giving ideas that
they have is a Christmas tradition for a lot of
families around here, and you can make it yours. And
we got a cool way for you to do it though.
Inter code JBB at checkout and you'll get twenty five
percent off plus always free shipping when you shop online.
(38:32):
Their site is Bertie County Peanuts dot net. Of course
we have their link at the Big Show dot com.
Just click right on that for all the info you
need and hang on and win it in minutes. All right,
here we go. This is an actual essay written by
a college applicant to NYU in response to this question,
are there any significant experiences you have had or accomplishments
(38:55):
you have realized that have helped to define you as
a person. It was for the admission staff of the
college to get to know the applicant. This is what
someone wrote. I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling
walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel
train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient
in the areas of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs
(39:18):
for Cuban refugees. I write award winning operas. I manage
time efficiently. Occasionally I tread water for three days in
a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike
trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with
unflagging speed, and I cook thirty minute brownies in twenty minutes.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love,
(39:39):
and an outlaw in Peru, using only a hoe and
a large glass of water. I want single handedly defended
a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde
of ferocious army ants. I played bluegrass cello. I was
scouted by the met signed the subject of numerous documentaries.
When I'm bored, I built large suspension bridges in my yard.
I enjoy urban hanglih on Wednesdays after school. I repair
(40:02):
electrical appliance is free of charge. Documentaries. Oh here's your
five bucks, Randy. I have an abstract artist, a concrete analyst,
and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original
line of corduroy evening where I don't perspire. I am
a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I've been
(40:25):
calling number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer,
I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration.
I bat four hundred. My death floral arrangements have earned
me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I
can hurl tennis, rackets and small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
I once read Paradise Loss, Moby Dick and David Copperfield
(40:47):
in one day and still had time to refurbish in
an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact
location of every food item in the supermarket. I perform
several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week.
When I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While
on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group
of tears who had seized a small bakery. I balance,
I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are
(41:08):
all paid on weekends to let off steam. I participate
in full contact or agami. Years ago I discovered the
meaning of life. I forgot to write it down. I
made extraordinary four course meals using only a mooley and
a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have
won bullfights in San Juan Cliff diving competitions in Sri
(41:28):
Lanka and spelling bees at the Kremlin, Sir Lanka, and
you know Sri Lanka. Fat that was right? How you
another five months I played Hamlet, I have performed open
heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis, but I
have yet not gone to college. The author was accepted
(41:50):
and is now attending NYU. Unbelievable. I was just looking here.
Do you realize that's exactly what you wrote on your resumes,
that you had.
Speaker 11 (41:59):
The trumpet instead of the trombone. And you also work
the phrase I like cheese into it.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
I'll telling you those if you can just ball, you
can do anything that's right let. That'd be a lesson
to y'all discuiding what career you will take. All right, there,
there's our lesson for today. Now let's play Beat the
Blonde for that bird Tea County Peanut Prize Pack one
(42:25):
eight hundred Big Show you told free Line. We'll get
a contestant and play next. Good morning, it's a big
(42:56):
Shawn the radio rolling through your Friday October to there
fifth check out a feature tracking the Big Show mid box.
When you make your scene there, it's brought you by
Long Tigers, motorcycle lawyers that ride Hansen's Halloween karaoke. I
put a spell on you. Hello, gorgeous, I got on
(43:19):
their contest button. When you have the Big show dot
com you can't get through, we'll call you. Maybe you
want to play meat your blonde We may that happen
too that Right now, let's meet our contestant, David out
a beautiful Lufkin Texas. Good morning, David, Hi, Good morning y'all.
(43:41):
Hey man, we are all somebody glad you got in
here with us. So you know what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna ask Tator some questions. She'll answer it like
a good loop. You agree to disagree, get two bells
for two buzzers, and you'll win.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
David.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Sounds simple enough, don't you think. All right, jump in here, Marcie.
You noticed that the palms of your hands are starting
to turn yellow. What have you probably been doing too much?
Speaker 13 (44:11):
I would say forgetting to wash my hands after Oh yeah,
But luckily for me, I don't have that. You're taking
too many vitamins, man, You're taking too.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Many vitamins man, right man, David, do you agree or disagree?
I'm looking at the palm of my hands, like I
got that problem.
Speaker 5 (44:34):
But yeah, I had to look down to agree with
that one.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
So agree, and.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
That was the day to day.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Yes, too many vitamins, all right.
Speaker 13 (44:44):
We'll make your body time really yellow.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Also, check your palms now if they're orange, you're eating
too many chinos. Ah, and it's the old joke that
will stop right, Yeah there please, Okay, so damn, here
we go. One more male gonna win this bird tea
count of peanut package tainter. According to the experts, you
(45:07):
will make the least noise while eating if your dentures.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
Are made of what.
Speaker 13 (45:17):
Many marshmallows?
Speaker 3 (45:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Coming to with something soft, let me a pretty white smile,
the least.
Speaker 13 (45:24):
Noise if they're made of resin.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
They're made of resin, David, do you agree or disagree
with resin dentures not making noise?
Speaker 5 (45:42):
But I'm gonna agree with it.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
You're gonna agree with resin? I don't even know where
do they do that? What is it's classical? Starts as
a liquid and then it hardens the hard Yeah, well,
don't get you resin dentures, plastic dentures. If you want
to be quiet, See there's something like out president. All right,
(46:04):
well that's all right. Now, let's see Dave's gonna win
it right here. He does having type old blood make
you pretty special?
Speaker 13 (46:15):
I mean you are talking to me right, Yes, it.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Does make you special, David, agree or disagree? I agree
with that. No gown there now, that's the most common
type of blood. That's why. Yeah, alright, well David, you
(46:40):
hang on won't make you happy, all right, buddy? All right,
of course. Yeah. I want to shout out to my career.
Speaker 13 (46:50):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
They work hard for me every day down here at
Quality Renovations. I appreciate them, and I want to give
y'all a shout out up here because every morning, Monday.
Speaker 4 (46:59):
Through Friday, y'all make me smile on the white or
dob that can make me not smile.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Well, David, we appreciate you and your boys listening to
the Brig show Man. Proud to have you listening. You
hang on, Jackie's gonna give you something special there, buddy.
You know it's just the opposite for me.
Good morning, Big Shows on a radio more Big Show.
Right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
This is Buzz Nutlet with a bulletin Big Show Knows
reporter live on the scene of a major disaster.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
I've never seen such carnage.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
And may I remind you that I was at the
Great Donna Pass Barbecue eating the buckle of nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
This is much much worse.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's a massacre of mammoth proportions the tattered caucasses.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Of other morning shows lit at the battlefield.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You're listening to the victors in this morning radio war,
John Boy and.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Billy on the Big Show. Now, can I turn in
my expense receipts?
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
God, no, no in here? All right?
Speaker 3 (01:13):
You see that?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Okay? Where we are? Good mornings yup until morning. That's Friday.
We made it barely, but here we are, Friday, October
twenty fifth. Wow. Man, the whole year just seems like
it's wow. Months ago, then years ago. Before you know
what's going on was look at our national days. We
(01:39):
want to participate in this National Greasy Foods Day. Okay,
no problem. National Pharmacy by your Day recognizes the professionals
who helped keep the pharmacy shelfs stopped and I guess
that's going all right, way to go. Very important job.
Y'all got there. Thank you. National Frankenstein Friday. Ah for bud.
(02:05):
We like it. Hey, National Greasy Foods Day again.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I always say they wasn't running late. I'll get older
about that in the car. I'm always for being late.
National bread Stick Day, out of Work, National Mary Music Day.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
So right, So everybody probably has the same place that's
their favorite for breadsticks.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Olive Garden. Right, Oh, that's the best.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
There's something really close in your grocer's freezy freezer case.
Speaker 7 (02:36):
Now.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Texas Toast is making buttered breadsticks and they are exactly
like the olive right.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah, all right, Texas Toast buttered breadsticks. All right, where
the go You you win National bread Stick Day. Yeah,
we got three days saved up that will work for
our categories to get that winning beginning like we want
to do Friday. Hey, wake up, Big shows on the radio.
(03:04):
Good morning, Big Shows on a radio. First prize pack
one hundred twenty dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products
made in the USA. You can find bull Snot at
truck stops across America. You go to the Big Show
dot Com, click on that bull snot banner, and you
will get all the info you need. We're gonna give
you all the info you need right now for our
(03:25):
three dates in history, where we'll get our categories. October
twenty fifth oh three. With his three hundred and thirty
ninth victory, Florida State's Bobby Bowden became the winning his
football coach and major college history. The Seminoles beat Wake
Forest forty eight, twenty four and oh three. Bobby like
(03:47):
that man? Oh four Outside of London nightclub, England's Prince
Harry Suver to Bruce Nose after he lunches out a photographer,
yelling why don't you just leave me alone? That's fine? Finally,
on this date, No seven, how about Kid Rock. He
(04:09):
is arrested after he and members of his crew getting
into a fight at a waffle house in Atlanta. Well
that's a good place to do it, all right. It might
be fueling to get some scatters, mother and covered old
kid there in the waffle Ah. Y'all, there's your categories
one eight hundred Big Shows. You told free line, Come on,
play out bursts next, Good morning, there's a Big Show
(04:57):
on the radio, Friday, October twenty five. Today's feature track
for the Big Show mid Box Hansen's Halloween Karaoke. I'll
put a smell on you. There's your words, Halloween Hanson.
Hear the Big Box at the Big Show dot com
and right now do that win on.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Uts.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Let's play upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
John Boy and Billy give the prizes from the big
Prize being. Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
This should really be a lot of.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Funks in your playing uppers. Have a hurry up and
guest time you love the best time. You have a
big shot. Let's say head on my goal from a Kin,
South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
We have the shots.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Good morning, Michael, Good morning, Hey buddy. All right Michael, Aigan,
South Carolina one of my favorite spots there. Thanks to
my boy Henry Kado. God that we are so glad
that the rich Yankees wanted to place down south to
move their horses during those rough winter months that they
go with. They found Aigan, South Carolina. The footing to
(06:23):
say that everything is just perfect for horses. Well that's
what I learned. Go Rich Yankees. We appreciate it now.
Going back. We got it now that you driven the
property values up. I always been like that for a while,
so hell yeah, cool spot.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Michael.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Well, I'm glad you're in here. Body. Good morning, good morning,
Glad to be with you. All right, Well, let's get
you through these three categories and get you one hundred
twenty dollars worth of that bull snot. Give us three
college football coaches. Ready, go.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Tabo bouton Playden.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Bama, Am I gonna was what it's talking about? All right? Now,
give us three body parts that will bruise. Ready, go uh,
your arm, your leg, and your eye. Michael knows what
he's honey back. And now for the wind. Three restaurants
that serve waffles. Ready, go waffle House at little House.
(07:23):
Look as you're bringing mindel house in for the whims.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Michael will work.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Dollars worth of Ball's not cleaning products, some good stuff
headed down the egg can Michael, congratulations, buddy there, All right,
that's the bottom of the hour. Who comes at the
top of your news On the other side, I call
(07:50):
off Happy Boys. First name Friday Morning's what we'll do.
(08:29):
Good morning makes shows on the radio. Alright, nows and
time on Friday morning, we called out to the happy boys.
Speaker 8 (08:45):
I was walking down the street on a sunny day,
feeling in my bones, says I have my weed bub
i'ma hap to be boy. I happen to be boys.
Oh we did good. When things are going here? We hey, Hey, my.
Speaker 5 (09:01):
Little box pot got hit my car Ubble hubbub of Hubbo.
Speaker 8 (09:04):
But his guns in the box and put him in
a drawer.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Well, I'm a have beat boy. I'm a happy boy.
Speaker 8 (09:12):
Oh in and good when things are going here, we
hey hey.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Oh, forgot all about it for a month and a half.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Ubb Hubbo I looked into the drawer and started to laugh.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Hubbub of Hubbs. Because i'ma have to be boy. Ima
have me boy?
Speaker 8 (09:43):
Oh in a good when things are going here?
Speaker 9 (09:45):
We hey hey, Yes, morning, big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
All right.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Usually we get an entry into the Diary of Gary
Busey will be changing it up this October the twenty fifth.
It's time for the Diary of Count Dracula.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Dear Diary, this is Count.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Drag Halloween again.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Whoop the friggin dough.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
I'll tell you, Diary, after six hundred years, I must
be getting old. I used to look forward to October thirty.
First terrorize the villagers, drink some blood Frank called the
van Helsings, then back in the box by six am
for some solid sack time and dream about.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
The night hijinks.
Speaker 10 (11:10):
Now it's like I don't even want to lift the lid,
just lay there and watch Family Guy reruns to the
Jumbo Halloween Sucks.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Last year was a real eye opener. Crazy Renfield and
I decided to go to the city blending catch a
buzz on some alcohol infused all positive chickies. Well that's
not as easy as it used to be. Gone on
the days, some easy pickings, you could buy any girl,
(11:46):
any time, anywhere. Now you have to be so careful
who you sink your teeth into. Along for the days
of a milky white throat bands Pauls sing with the
nectar that I first for Now you can't see their necks,
for all the tattoos, butterflies and tribal doodles, the Chinese
(12:13):
symbol for hot sour soup gross or just my luck
across that's an appetite killer. And once you get past
all the top culture earthwork, you still don't know what's
underneath the blood used to be as pure as spring water.
(12:38):
Now it's a great, big, dirty crapshoot. The last thing
I want to do is spend the next six hundred
years nursing a case.
Speaker 11 (12:47):
Of hepsie or tibola.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
That kind of thing makes being immortal a big pain
in the ass. Hollowe used to be a time to
move freely amongst the customed populace, picking and choosing tasty
morsels for a late night snack. These days crime and
(13:13):
e diary. What a nightmare used to be so simple.
People used to dress like witches and devils and monsters.
Costumes were mythic. There was mystery and horror. Now everyone
is dressed like the Avengers or Duck Dynasty or somebody
(13:33):
named SpongeBob.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Pass Killers.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Perhaps the most perplexing development is that no one can
tell I'm a vampire?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
What no hell? What's not to get? The pale skinned, red.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Eyes, the black suit, the John Travolta hirdoo, the cap,
the damn k.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
The guipe is anonymous with the vampire.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
You look a vampire in the dictionary, he's my picture.
But if one more kid asks me if I'm Professor Snape,
going to throw myself on a wooden stake.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I'll tell you that right now.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
First off, I pride myself in my sophisticated masculinity. Snake
looks like a Nancy Boy, like a slightly more hygienic genine.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Grockl and the fangs? Did Professor Snape have fangs? Jumping
je horse?
Speaker 7 (14:46):
A fat?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
How did people get so stupid?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I shouldn't be surprised. Look at what passes for a
vampire these days. Crazy Renfield and I rented Twilight some
androgynists girly Man with Johnny cash hair woodrow by aber
Zombian feat. A vampire is supposed to suck your blood,
(15:13):
SKay just suck.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Well, Diri got the go.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Crazy Renfield and I are going to Wolmart stuck up
on toilet paper. We're going to hit Frankenstein's castle. Har
Last year we did the flaming bag of dog poo
on the porch, but him hollering firebad gets old after
one hundred years. Until next time, Iri Xes and O's count.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Drug money our big shows on your radio.
Speaker 12 (15:56):
Hello you perky early riser. Here's just the thing to
wake you up and get your blood pumping. The John
Boy and Billy big show. Why, before you know it,
you'll be bouncing off the walls.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Just like me.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Ooh wah hvah oh.
Speaker 11 (16:25):
See what I mean?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, morning, it's a big show on the radio before
you Friday head into college football action. Yeah, he ain't
gaming two tonight in big games tomorrow. And of course
it's the big Bama Tailgate Joe. We all look forward
to within the Bama Tailgate Show on YouTube. You got
(17:20):
gating and grilling with Carlin Cook and Kevin Sport. Kevin
bringing the connecta sausage, Carl bringing our John Boy Billy
rubs and grilling sauces. This week Alabama pig shots. You
need to know connecta saucge, grab it than bacon, John
Moore Billy pork rub. Let's get you a little tooth
picked there from a porky shot. Glassy fill the bacon
(17:45):
shot with a cream cheese mixture which consists of room
temperature cream. Get the room temperature sheddar cheese, John Bore
Billy pork rub, Johnbobilly original grilling sauce. Topped the shot
off with a corner slice of the old pepper place
eat shot on a cooling ruck. Plase, I'm on your
three hundred fifty degree smoker or grilled thirty forty five
(18:07):
minutes or until done to your liking. In the last
five minutes brush with John Boymilly original grilling sauce that
it's your Alabama pig shots.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
This is definitely the wrong music for this whole thing.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Should be like Carl Well, lets I say, use you
some hall so I didn't want to bring it down
through right there. This's just happy music. Heading to the
Obama Telgate shoe gaining and grilling college Kevin's sport. It'll
drop by three pm Saturday afternoon. Been tomorrow, y'all have
ad it? Good morning, big shows on the radio. All right,
(18:44):
all about college sports, college football. Have I some college
humor with Carl and Melinda. Hold on right there, y'all. First,
I'm men tell you about the prize pack somebody's gonna
win when we play John boyd Jebony in minutes is
a hat, T shirt, tumbler and a twenty five dollars
gas card from Lord Tigers. Motorcaca Lawyers said, ride plus
that will register you to win that one of a
(19:05):
kind Big Show motorsaga from Lord Tigers, custom built by
Rick Bray of RKB Customs. Click on the link at
the Big Show dot com. Make sure you're registered to win.
All right, and now it's story time with your host,
Carl Childerns.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Hey there, John boy, little feller.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
I heard you and them other fellas making a fuss
over them country boys or whoping.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Them football players. Match stated kindly looked like a mitten.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
I played me some football time to time with that
Weekly boy Frank and his friends. I stove up pretty quick.
I was old and give out. I never wasn't no
count at it. That Weekly boyd always yell at me,
what you drop the ball firm?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
What you dropped the ball firm? So I just.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I just think with what the good Lord meant me
to do, small engine repair and comedy, that.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I found me a boat one sports humor over to
the mall. It's all about.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
College sports teams and whatnot. They ain't a whole past
love them. I'm only telling the one without curse words
in it. I had not a talk like that, but
at least I was able to work up and act
for me and Melinda. And when mister Murray over the
red Hot Telent puts us on something called the college circuit,
(20:37):
we can do something for you, and you want us to.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
You ready to Melinda, I.
Speaker 13 (20:42):
Need to sit down my fate heart. I can't do comedy.
If my feth heart I don't know about you, but
if my faith heart, I just don't feel funny.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
All right?
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Then you have a seat over here next to a
little feller some folks calling Billy.
Speaker 13 (21:06):
I called you, Hey, Billy, I have to sit here
because my fate hard. I hope it's okay. Absolutely it
is not okay. You let me know. I can move
if I have to. I don't want to, though, Well,
don't worry about this chair is comfortable?
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 13 (21:28):
Is your chair coat?
Speaker 4 (21:31):
Her feet hurt, but her jaw seemed to be working.
All right, Then let me do our comedy skit. We
can get you back to the dollar store for Mezoochie
gets all upset.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
You want to introduce us?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Oh yeah, I got your hair. That's a gent amount
of comedy. Silence, Oh, Carl and a big girl from
the dollar store.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
She don't like to be called big girls? And Melinda?
All right? Then is this thing?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Addie?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Folks? Hey, Melinda? What do you reckon?
Speaker 4 (22:12):
The average Mississippi State player gets on his essayts drool.
Speaker 13 (22:23):
Hey Carl, I saw you watching those cheerleaders on the TV. Yes,
what do you get when you put thirty two Arkansas
cheerleaders in one room?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Full set of teeth?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Speaking of cheerleaders, and we were why do them Auburn
cheerleaders all wear beibs to keep.
Speaker 13 (22:47):
The tobacco juice off their uniforms?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I thought maybe that would help.
Speaker 13 (22:54):
I wonder where my fate still?
Speaker 4 (23:01):
And Melinda, how do you get a Georgia graduate off
your porch?
Speaker 13 (23:07):
You're paying for the pizza? Hey Carl, why is the
Vanderbilt football team like a pallsum.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Well on account of they played dead at home and
get killed on the road? Get it?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Melinda? What a Florida State students call their freshman year.
Speaker 13 (23:34):
The three longest years of their lives? Hey Carl? How
how many freshman Hokies does it take to change.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
A light bulb?
Speaker 3 (23:47):
None? Right, there's a sophomore course in Virginia, Texas. Hold
I'll say she does that? Do that turkey gobble?
Speaker 9 (24:00):
Oh?
Speaker 13 (24:04):
I don't feel like school spirit right now?
Speaker 3 (24:08):
You just hold on. We got a couple more jokes here.
Where do you where do you reckon? That? O? J?
Feller was headed in that there.
Speaker 13 (24:14):
Bronco Lexington, Kentucky. He knew the police would never look
for a Heisman Trophy winner there, Hey Carl, why did
Tennessee choose orange for their team color?
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Well, they can wear it to the game on Saturday,
hunting on Sunday and picking up trash.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
A long I forty.
Speaker 13 (24:50):
Well, I don't have any other jokes written down.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
That's an account of we're done, good night, and don't
forget to tip over you waiters.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Thank John Boy, so long, low Feller.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
All right, well that work there, don't work. We're gonna
bang on the drum a little bit and get back
to college. All right, Okay, it's gonna work out. Fun.
Let's play John Boy Jeopardy, shall we?
Speaker 5 (25:17):
All right?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Yes? Okay, review yesterday's question. We found out when Milton
Oh no, no, we found out that when we found
out officials overseeing the nineteen eighty one Miss America pageant
disqualified Miss New York for illegal use of this banned
substance during the swimsuit competition. I believe it was patting,
it was padding. You can't pad that or that? All right,
(25:41):
Today's John Boy Jeopardy. In sixteenth century European weddings. The
groom's best man was chosen for his fighting ability and swordsmanship.
He would stand by the groom fully armed to prevent
this from happening during the ceremony. Badger attack. I don't
(26:01):
know what y'all got one eight hundred big show you
told free line across America. We played John boyd Jeopardeine
Next you going in. It's a big show on a radio.
(26:42):
Order to your Friday, October twenty fifth. What today's feature
TrackMan to make show, Big Box Hanson's Halloween Karaoke. I
put a spell on you. Here's Riggie words Halloween Hanson
and you hear the Big Box at the Big Show
dot Com are right now. Let's yells live across America.
Speaker 14 (27:02):
It's John Boy, Jeff and now a man who reminds
you marriage.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Is like a deck of cards.
Speaker 14 (27:09):
It starts out all hearts and diamonds, and near the
end you're wishing for a club in a spade.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
He's John Boy that I get.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Say Hey to Kenny out of Chattanooga, Tennessee. Good morning, Kenny,
Hey guys, good morning, Hey buddy, welcome. All right, Well,
you got the first shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning.
I hope you're up on your sixteenth century European weddings.
Back then, Kenny, the groom's best man was chosen for
(27:42):
his fighting ability and swordsmanship. He would stand by the
groom fully armed to prevent this from happening during the ceremony.
What do you think, Kenny, I'm going to take a
wild guess here, and I'm going to say, either to
keep the bride from running off or maybe some from
coming and snacking her up. I don't want nobody snatching
(28:04):
the bride or her running away. Let's see.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
You know that, all right?
Speaker 1 (28:13):
No matter what her reason, she was not leaving that ceremony. No,
so the kidnapped the bride. I don't know if that happened, well,
the parents would come.
Speaker 6 (28:23):
If it was, like you know, I'm not an arranged marriage,
the parents would come.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
And steal her back. There you go. All right, Well,
look at Kenny chatting. Who knows all that? And we're
talking now. They got the Big Old law Tiger's Motorcycle
Prize pack. Kenny, you're naming a hat for the Big
Show motorcycle. Congratulations?
Speaker 5 (28:39):
All right, thank you?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
All right, buddy, all right, just jump out and catch
you up on you are new on the other side.
Bout time by Friday mornings on and we'll get it kids,
going good morning, big show's on the radio's time by
(29:35):
finda morning's all hit.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
It and before eleven o'clock tonight.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Mister, you better find yourself another line of work.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
That's when sure, don't fix your fistil It's.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
One hundred and six miles to Chicago.
Speaker 9 (29:49):
We got a full tank of gas, half a pack
of cigarettes.
Speaker 5 (29:52):
It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 11 (29:55):
Hit it.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
I hate work, I hate work, I hate working.
Speaker 7 (30:07):
I've been having a very bad Nay.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
I don't, okay, I don't. I'm just gonna skip meat.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Day.
Speaker 11 (30:41):
Then you just just cool. She's got.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Yeah what work work, work, work, work, work work. Hey man,
what are we gonna do?
Speaker 13 (31:09):
Man?
Speaker 10 (31:09):
We got to get out of here.
Speaker 11 (31:10):
You have a light.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
I mean, do you do anything with liked this freepie stuff?
Speaker 1 (31:15):
What do you do for fun?
Speaker 9 (31:16):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (31:16):
No, we don't have fun. We just we just work.
Here's here's our fun. Right, work work, work, work, work,
work work.
Speaker 13 (31:23):
Well.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I realized my father makes a lot of money, but
you see he's not giving me any. Yeah, weekend Saturday Sunday,
the time between work and more work, the time when
you go out looking for happiness and end up punched
over somewhere else's toilet.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
The weekend, things are at their darkest.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Pal. It's a brave man, can kick party.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
All is with taste?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
You is.
Speaker 13 (31:47):
Cool?
Speaker 5 (31:47):
Bust off five.
Speaker 8 (32:30):
Oh no, I am not today.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I may cat paid.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Work work?
Speaker 13 (32:44):
What what? What?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
What?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
What's what's work?
Speaker 3 (32:47):
I hate work?
Speaker 13 (32:47):
I hate work.
Speaker 15 (32:48):
I hate what.
Speaker 10 (32:51):
I'm said.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Duds the morning big shows on the radio, and every
(33:30):
Friday got a brand new playhouse and it's time action.
Speaker 7 (33:36):
Hello friends, your old pal Burnt Burn here with another
toenail twisting edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode a proper burial. As our story opens, an elderly
Jewish woman is meeting with her rabbi.
Speaker 16 (33:51):
I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me, Rabbi.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Oh, it's no problem.
Speaker 7 (33:56):
Doctor Phil doesn't start for another fifteen minutes, so it
seemed trimbled.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
That's the buzz. Tell me what's happening?
Speaker 16 (34:03):
Well, you know I keep messing your pigeons, right, Okay? Well,
my beloved smoothly passed away yesterday. You remember schmooley.
Speaker 7 (34:12):
Let's see, Yeah, pigeon, about your big kind of Walleye,
the one you used to send donations to the temple,
that's him.
Speaker 13 (34:19):
Well, that Walleye did him in.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Oh no, what happened?
Speaker 16 (34:22):
He flew into a wall.
Speaker 7 (34:24):
Uh so that's why they call it that. Well, what
can I do for you? You want me to say
a special prayer foreb or something.
Speaker 16 (34:30):
I was wondering if I might be able to, you know,
bury him in all cemetery.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
What, of course you can't. That's forbidden in the Torah. Besides,
they're so daty. They poop on the statue of Moses.
Speaker 16 (34:42):
You knowy didn't you make an exception? I mean, I'd
really like to bury him on sacred soil.
Speaker 7 (34:49):
Look, darling, I'd love to help you, but my hands
are tied. I let you bury your pigeon here, punny,
So now I'm digging holes for who knows what. I'm
really sorry for your loss, but I gotta say no.
Speaker 16 (34:59):
Okay, I understand. I'll just ask the Methodists if I
could use their cemetery, excuse me, cemetery for five hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
That's all five hundred dollars. Why didn't you say it
was a Jewish pigeon boy vee?
Speaker 7 (35:12):
I mean, and how we hope you enjoyed John Boy
and Billy playhouse. Well, I can knock one hundred bucks
off if you just let the temple can eat it.
Tune in next time when we'll hear the poop covered
statue of Moses saying.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
there's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 15 (35:43):
Helly, you lindsay premouth here when I'm on this side
of the pond, I get my daily dose of culture
and edification every morning from these two delightful lands, John
Boy and Billy right here on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
You know, I hate to break it to you, boys,
but where I come from, You're all, yeah, who will?
Speaker 3 (36:03):
I thought it was Patty.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Here's
your one hour alert. Well, John boys, wonderful thing giveaway
number one hundred and twenty two. About hour, we'll give
away that embroidered had from the American White Tail Authority
is still telling me to get your name and the
hab four it go to the Big Show dot com,
pull up the picture. You know what to do that
(36:58):
I got that I want to tell you congratulations to
our third finalists, our third out of five finalists for
the Big Show Custom Motorcycle and talking about Gene Dollum
out of Roanoak Rapids, North Carolina. It's our third finalists
going along with Dwayne out of Warner Robins, Georgia Dave
(37:21):
out of Jasper, Alabama. Two more finalists before we picked
from the five finalists. That means you got time to
November one. Go to Big Show Bike dot com, make
sure your names and a half. Good morning, Big Shows
on the radio. Since we mess around about colleges this morning,
(37:42):
I got something special for you. I won't share it
just a second. First, let me tell you about the
prize pack you can win if you can beat our blonde.
There's an assortment of small batch handcook peanuts from bert
County Peanuts, a Southern tradition for over one hundred years.
We looked up that county there, Bertie, Anew was close
(38:04):
to Hyde.
Speaker 6 (38:05):
It's spelled b E r t i E if you're
looking for it on the web, but it is pronounced Bertie.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
That's just a local thing, that's it. And we want
y'all to know what the great gift giving ideas that
they have is a Christmas tradition for a lot of
families around here, and you can make it yours. And
we got a cool way for you to do it though.
Inter code JBB at checkout and you'll get twenty five
percent off plus always free shipping when you shop online.
(38:32):
Their site is Bertie County Peanuts dot net. Of course
we have their link at the Big Show dot com.
Just click right on that for all the info you
need and hang on and win it in minutes. All right,
here we go. This is an actual essay written by
a college applicant to NYU in response to this question,
are there any significant experiences you have had or accomplishments
(38:55):
you have realized that have helped to define you as
a person. It was for the admission staff of the
college to get to know the applicant. This is what
someone wrote. I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling
walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel
train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient
in the areas of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs
(39:18):
for Cuban refugees. I write award winning operas. I manage
time efficiently. Occasionally I tread water for three days in
a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike
trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with
unflagging speed, and I cook thirty minute brownies in twenty minutes.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love,
(39:39):
and an outlaw in Peru, using only a hoe and
a large glass of water. I want single handedly defended
a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde
of ferocious army ants. I played bluegrass cello. I was
scouted by the met signed the subject of numerous documentaries.
When I'm bored, I built large suspension bridges in my yard.
I enjoy urban hanglih on Wednesdays after school. I repair
(40:02):
electrical appliance is free of charge. Documentaries. Oh here's your
five bucks, Randy. I have an abstract artist, a concrete analyst,
and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original
line of corduroy evening where I don't perspire. I am
a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I've been
(40:25):
calling number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer,
I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration.
I bat four hundred. My death floral arrangements have earned
me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I
can hurl tennis, rackets and small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
I once read Paradise Loss, Moby Dick and David Copperfield
(40:47):
in one day and still had time to refurbish in
an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact
location of every food item in the supermarket. I perform
several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week.
When I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While
on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group
of tears who had seized a small bakery. I balance,
I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are
(41:08):
all paid on weekends to let off steam. I participate
in full contact or agami. Years ago I discovered the
meaning of life. I forgot to write it down. I
made extraordinary four course meals using only a mooley and
a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have
won bullfights in San Juan Cliff diving competitions in Sri
(41:28):
Lanka and spelling bees at the Kremlin, Sir Lanka, and
you know Sri Lanka. Fat that was right? How you
another five months I played Hamlet, I have performed open
heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis, but I
have yet not gone to college. The author was accepted
(41:50):
and is now attending NYU. Unbelievable. I was just looking here.
Do you realize that's exactly what you wrote on your resumes,
that you had.
Speaker 11 (41:59):
The trumpet instead of the trombone. And you also work
the phrase I like cheese into it.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
I'll telling you those if you can just ball, you
can do anything that's right let. That'd be a lesson
to y'all discuiding what career you will take. All right, there,
there's our lesson for today. Now let's play Beat the
Blonde for that bird Tea County Peanut Prize Pack one
(42:25):
eight hundred Big Show you told free Line. We'll get
a contestant and play next. Good morning, it's a big
(42:56):
Shawn the radio rolling through your Friday October to there
fifth check out a feature tracking the Big Show mid box.
When you make your scene there, it's brought you by
Long Tigers, motorcycle lawyers that ride Hansen's Halloween karaoke. I
put a spell on you. Hello, gorgeous, I got on
(43:19):
their contest button. When you have the Big show dot
com you can't get through, we'll call you. Maybe you
want to play meat your blonde We may that happen
too that Right now, let's meet our contestant, David out
a beautiful Lufkin Texas. Good morning, David, Hi, Good morning y'all.
(43:41):
Hey man, we are all somebody glad you got in
here with us. So you know what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna ask Tator some questions. She'll answer it like
a good loop. You agree to disagree, get two bells
for two buzzers, and you'll win.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
David.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Sounds simple enough, don't you think. All right, jump in here, Marcie.
You noticed that the palms of your hands are starting
to turn yellow. What have you probably been doing too much?
Speaker 13 (44:11):
I would say forgetting to wash my hands after Oh yeah,
But luckily for me, I don't have that. You're taking
too many vitamins, man, You're taking too.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Many vitamins man, right man, David, do you agree or disagree?
I'm looking at the palm of my hands, like I
got that problem.
Speaker 5 (44:34):
But yeah, I had to look down to agree with
that one.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
So agree, and.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
That was the day to day.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Yes, too many vitamins, all right.
Speaker 13 (44:44):
We'll make your body time really yellow.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Also, check your palms now if they're orange, you're eating
too many chinos. Ah, and it's the old joke that
will stop right, Yeah there please, Okay, so damn, here
we go. One more male gonna win this bird tea
count of peanut package tainter. According to the experts, you
(45:07):
will make the least noise while eating if your dentures.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
Are made of what.
Speaker 13 (45:17):
Many marshmallows?
Speaker 3 (45:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Coming to with something soft, let me a pretty white smile,
the least.
Speaker 13 (45:24):
Noise if they're made of resin.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
They're made of resin, David, do you agree or disagree
with resin dentures not making noise?
Speaker 5 (45:42):
But I'm gonna agree with it.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
You're gonna agree with resin? I don't even know where
do they do that? What is it's classical? Starts as
a liquid and then it hardens the hard Yeah, well,
don't get you resin dentures, plastic dentures. If you want
to be quiet, See there's something like out president. All right,
(46:04):
well that's all right. Now, let's see Dave's gonna win
it right here. He does having type old blood make
you pretty special?
Speaker 13 (46:15):
I mean you are talking to me right, Yes, it.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Does make you special, David, agree or disagree? I agree
with that. No gown there now, that's the most common
type of blood. That's why. Yeah, alright, well David, you
(46:40):
hang on won't make you happy, all right, buddy? All right,
of course. Yeah. I want to shout out to my career.
Speaker 13 (46:50):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
They work hard for me every day down here at
Quality Renovations. I appreciate them, and I want to give
y'all a shout out up here because every morning, Monday.
Speaker 4 (46:59):
Through Friday, y'all make me smile on the white or
dob that can make me not smile.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Well, David, we appreciate you and your boys listening to
the Brig show Man. Proud to have you listening. You
hang on, Jackie's gonna give you something special there, buddy.
You know it's just the opposite for me.
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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