BONUS - Is Your Partner Needy… or Is Something Else Going On?

A relationship question sparks a surprisingly deep conversation on The Jubal Show: how do you actually know if your partner is “needy,” or if what you’re seeing is something more serious? A viral psychologist study breaks down the most common signs—and the list gets uncomfortable fast.

From constant texting and jealousy to blurred boundaries and emotional burnout, the crew unpacks where normal reassurance ends and red flags begin.

Support the show: https://the-jubal-show.beehiiv.com/subscribe

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
How do you know if you have a needy partner?
It's a jew will show.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
I mean sometimes it's very obvious, right, and sometimes you
might wonder if it's just you who thinks they're needy,
because every time they're like, hey, I like you, you're like,
get off gross Victoria. Well, there's one psychologist whose study
is going viral about signs that your partner is needy.
So here are the top signs that they say you

(00:24):
can tell if your partner is needy.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Okay, they act jealous or possessive.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
They say, it's okay to feel jealous from time to time,
Yet consistent jealousy and possessiveness are surefire waste to damage
trust in a relationship. This could range from discouraging friendships
to monitoring your texts or repeatedly accusing you of flirting
and innocent scenarios. I would go on to say, that's
also kind of abusive.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know that I would call that
needy so much, don't think. Yeah, jealousy and needy are
too like different emotions.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, ironically, your partner might suffer from jealousy due to
the fear that you'll break their true but in reality,
the lack of trust they have in you is what ultimately.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Drives you away.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Trapped because you're being surveiled all the time. Trust me,
I've been there, But why do you Why do you
stay in those moments?

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Why do I?

Speaker 3 (01:14):
Yeah, well, any I mean for you, I mean anybody
might relate to that. But if you know you're being
surveiled like that, why.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
Do you stay?

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Because well, it used to be because that's what I
knew from relationships for me as a child, and then
grew up and I was an enabler, so I made
it okay instead of being like, hey, not.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Cool, Yeah, I actually think it's a love. Yeah, exactly,
that makes sense. Actually, yeah, you are the love.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
You taps into the fear from your childhood and then
you just stay because you're scared and you don't even
know it. But anyway, I've since learned my lessons since
that time, so yeah, that's fun. Now i'd be like, hey, man,
get here, not cool. Here is another sign. They say
that you can tell if your partner's needy. They watch

(02:01):
your every move. Also kind of creepy in that one,
but they say, similar to blowing up your phone, needy
partner might also watch your every move.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
It could range from going through.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Your email, just stalking your social media activity, and even
checking your location constantly. Again, if you haven't betrayed them
or broken their trust, the behavior is just isn't warranted
or healthy.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
Yeah, I don't know if it's a needy list. Just function.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Usually means that you want their attention, right, not that
you're trying to completely under like, uncover everything they're doing,
control everything.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Here's another one. They lean on you for everything. It
says life is hard enough, so when you're dating someone
who constantly relies on you for practically everything, it can
feel draining. From emotional support to decision making, planning, and
even chore completion. A needy partner's lofty expectations can make
them seem more like a child than a significant other.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Okay, now this is needy.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Yeah, that is a good example of what would be
qualified as needy.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
I will say, this conversation is making me feel very
less needy than I thought I was.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
So guess what not needy?

Speaker 4 (03:09):
Healthy?

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Over here?

Speaker 2 (03:12):
That's going viral about how you can tell if your
partner is needy. They disregard your boundaries. Says you should
be allowed and even encouraged to have boundaries in your relationship.
Yet needy partners often have trouble respecting them. Perhaps you
value personal space, but they keep barging in and intruding
your alone time, or they may try to interfere in
your outside relationships and isolate you from other people in

(03:33):
your life. Again the isolation part, Yeah, that moves into
the abusive territory. This says, regardless of I was done,
boundary crossing is a major red flag.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
I've experienced a lot of this too, and I think
part of it might be just being young, and you know,
you haven't dealt with your own issues, so you're not
aware of what you're feeding into, and so you find
yourself in these situations where you're feeling guilty about wanting boundaries.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
Yeah, it's like now as you get older, you're like, oh, no,
it's okay to not have somebody reading every text that
you sent for the day, find out what you were
saying to your cowork.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
You feel bad because you want them to be happy,
so you allow them to intrude on your boundary. When
you have to learn to be okay with having a
boundary and then being perfectly okay, if someone is upset
about that body.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
And creating trust where you can have that boundary and
still trust each other.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
I don't know if you're ever going to be okay.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
If you're somebody is upset about the boundary, you got
to have a conversation about the boundary.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
But I'm not going to sleep. If you're mad at
me for having a boundary, we're having a conversation.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
They need constant validation. That's another way to tell if
someone's needy.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
On this list that are needed.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Someone struggles with anxiety or not. We can all use
a bit of research from time to time, but it's
not fair to burden your significant other with constant demands
on your for validation.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah that sounds but if you're like this is cute, right,
or you still love me?

Speaker 4 (04:54):
Right? If I was a butterfly, you would I'm still.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Now. And the number one thing they say you can
tell if you have a needy partner is they blow
up your phone constantly. Even though communication forms the backbone
of stable relationships, it's totally possible to go overboard too.
If you're at work with families, spending time with friends,
and your partner just starts bombarding you with text or

(05:27):
calls to sign that they're needy. Plus if you don't
get back to them right away, they become upset or angry.

Speaker 4 (05:34):
Yeah, but if you're the person who is blowing up
my phone, what do you think that's making me feel like?

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Other than please stop blowing up my phone?

Speaker 3 (05:43):
Right?

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Do you also not get the vibe I'm not vibuing
with that? Do you realize you're being annoying?

Speaker 4 (05:48):
Self awareness?

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Usually you know, because anxiety takes over your body at
that moment.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
But yeah, usually those type of people that will do
that are the type of people that if you blow
up their phone, they'd be mad at you. K