Unbiased journalists Paulie & Tony Fusco tell you why the Philadelphia Eagles just had the greatest draft EVER, and why Makai Lemon could be the greatest pick in NFL history. Plus, they react to stunning accusations about a former Jets coach using drugs, and deliver what are bound to be VERY controversial takes on Bronny James, LeBron James, and the WNBA.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
On today's show, we'll tell you why the Eagles made
the greatest draft pick in the history of time. And
also we're gonna do what could be our most controversial
segment ever.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Let's go roll the intro. Are you alive where you
won't be for long? All right?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
All right?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You damn into your life from Philly. It's the number
one rated Polly and Tony Foolstone Show.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yo yo yo, As always Polly Fool's go here with
Tony fools Go and Tony you huge show today. You
know you're gonna hear things on today's show that you
won't hear from the rest of the lay media because
you know they're afraid of the truth and all the
potential lawsuits.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
You know, we're not.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
No, you know, no, are you kidding me? We tell
you the truth because unlike them, we don't consult lawyers
or any of that woosy nonsense.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, none of that. I mean, we're talking truth, though.
We do have something to say to you. Yeah, you know,
listen to this.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Watch you.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Our views for the last episode on YouTube was suspiciously
down yep, which means you know we were doing our job,
but you clearly wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
There was also a suspiciously low number of comments, wasn't it, Tony?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
So that's why we've decided that from now on we're
taking attendance. You're gonna write your name in the comments
and write the present next to it, so we know
who's here and who's absent.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Hold on, Tony, producer back that he's given a stink, guy.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
What do you look at?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Guy?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
What do you want?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
This just all sounds like a frankly sad and desperate
way to get engagement on a video and to try
to get more views.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Oh well, you know what's never gotten a view? Your
penis great one. Now, don't listen to him.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
We want to see those names in the comments and
write present next.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
To it, or tardy if you're late.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, exactly, yep, but you know who's not, Donny Tony
us were right on Dimond. Time to get right now
into our top story. The top story, of course, the Eagles,
who naturally won the NFL Draft as they always do
as usual, this time landing what many people around Philly
(02:25):
and up and down our street are calling the single
greatest draft pick in NFL history, and Guy Lemon, wide
receiver out of USC and Tony, the stats just speak
for themselves with this guy, you know. So, in fact,
that's that's why you know, usually we do a take here,
we don't even need to do that because you get
ready for this people. We're gonna do what what has
(02:45):
come to be one of.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Our most famous segments on the show. We came up with.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It ourselves, our original ip. Just follow this what we're
gonna do. This might be a little complicated for you,
but the follow we're gonna show you stats of mackay
Lemon and then Tony is going to have to guess
which other player has those same stats, right, Dony, exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
It's such a great original idea, and just like you said,
that's our ip. In fact, if you think this segment
is familiar or like you've seen it somewhere before someone
else doing it, go ahead and write in the comments
where you've seen it before so that we can sue
their pants off.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
But you still want them to write present, right Tony.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Oh of course, of course, but do it in a
separate comment so that there's two separate comments.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yep, do that anyway, Okay, right now we're gonna do
this segment. Get ready called blind resume, blind resume. Okay,
here you go, Dony. These were mckuy lemon's stats for
last year. He averaged fourteen point six yards per catch
and had eleven receiving touchdowns. Go ahead, Dony, and name
(03:58):
the player who had that exact same stat line.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Hmmm, you know those stats sound very familiar. I'm gonna
go out on a limb and say, Randy Moss with
the Patriots in two thousand and eight.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Of course, said it right on the money, Tony. And well,
that just right there shows you how good McKay lemon is,
you know.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Basically Randy Moss in his prime, incredible numbers.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Never lie, Tony, Yo, they never do. You know.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
You know who does lie. It's the biased anti Eagles media.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
You know, well they do.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
The Eagles under fire again because in the draft they
picked a Nigerian athlete named hold On Tony. I'm I'm
having a little trouble with this name, all right. That's
his last name is Banad, that's not obvious, but his
first name, his first name is spelled you a ru
(05:00):
any idea you got done them?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
How to pronounce that one? Tony?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Wah?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
You know you are? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
You know, maybe his parents were naming him and they said,
you are Bernard, and the guy writing down the birth
certificate must have thought that you are was his first name.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
You know, who are? What?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Huh? What do you?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
What?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Do you got marbles in your mouth? What do you what?
You sing on something? What? What are you saying?
Speaker 4 (05:29):
It's pronounced who are? Who are?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
As in nice? Like shut up? Because who are ruining
the show?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh? Or who are never gonna have sex with the woman? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
There you go, by the way, you know why you're
leaving the comments? Why you leave one for our producer?
Tell him to stop talking way forever. Just go ahead
and write that now.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Also, don't forget right present, so that there's three comments.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Three comments right anyway? All right? Ooh aah Bernard if
that's his name? Anyway? Whoa? Bernard is being.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Called a quote controversial pick by the Eagles because he's
never played football in his entire life and therefore has
zero playing experiences. I don't see how this is a
problem at all, deal Tony, not at all.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
In fact, I've always said the less experience a player has,
the better. That way you can mold them. It's why
I've always said that the NFL draft shouldn't be with
college football players, but babies, you have the draft right
then in the maternity ward at the hospital. That way
you can evaluate that raw talent, because what's more raw
(06:42):
than a baby?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
No, nothing.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Babies are born with important instinctual football skills that you
can immediately test, you know, yep, finding the gap, you know,
cutting through the whole, working a spread formation, and you
know boop control, which is a lot like ball control.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It is. I couldn't agree much, he said.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
And you know, so many times I hear these idiot
scouts say these things like, well, this guy is quote
a born winner. Well, how do you know? How do
you if you weren't in the delivery room?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
You know, you can't know?
Speaker 3 (07:20):
And you know, may I say, just think of what
an honor it would be for the first person your
baby sees to not be the doctor or his or
her mother, father, but.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Instead Eagles GM Howie Roseman.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
That baby would know coming out of the gate that
he's been drafted to a class organization.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Totally agreed, donate, although you know, thinking it through, this
might not work for other teams, you know, because what
if that poor baby comes out and sees Jerry Jones
waiting for it.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
You know, you know that's a good point.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
You know, it might hit the transfer portal back to
the incubator, or wait another trimester before coming out.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Ye, I could see how that could be an issue
up But anyway to more fallout from the NFL Draft. People,
they're still baffled by the Rams taking Ty Simpson in
the first round. Now a lot of people are saying that, well,
Sean McVay looked upset about the pick, and it was
strange that he refused to come out and publicly support it.
And well, I don't blame him for a second, do.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
You, Dony, not for one second. I mean, just think
about it.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Sean McVay lives in Los Angeles, and if you walk
around Los Angeles and say I really like this football
player named Simpson, well people are gonna think you like
murder and then you have to say no, I meant
Ty Simpson. But by then people won't hear you because
they've already run for their lives or they've probably shot
(08:47):
you in self defense.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
True, great points all around that, Tody, And well, now
let's move to the Jets and what's being called a
bombshell accusation from former Jets running back Le'Veon Bell. He
came out and he said that ex Jets coach Adam
Gaze was using cocaine during his dime with the Dame.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
And well, you know, many people.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Are up at arms about this, but I don't see
a problem here, do you, Tony.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
You know, if you're forced to be coach of the Jets,
then I think you should not only be permitted to
use every drug, drugs should be provided to you for
free in your contract. How else can anyone coach the Jets.
In fact, most people don't know this, but Todd Bowles
that's not his real last name. No, people just started
(09:35):
calling him that because he just stayed in his office
all day smoking bulls to numb himself from the pain
of having to coach the Jets.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's true, a lot of people don't know that, Dony.
And there's actually more Jets news. There are reports that
the Jets are considering bringing in Russell Wilson. They'll be
the backup quarterback to Geno Smith. Donny, your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You know this is such a smart move.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
You see, the Jets have realized through Sam Donald, that
their players play best when they're playing for the Seattle Seahawks. Well,
then by that math, it would mean that the Seahawks
play best when they're on the Jets.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
You know, it's as simple as that. It's as simple
as that. That's all. That's it, you.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Know, talking about simple, we've got to talk about basketball news.
There are reports that the NCAA is considering expanding the
Turney Field from sixty four teams to seventy two teams.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Now a lot of people are.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Saying this is too many teams, but Tony, I don't
think this is nearly enough things.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Do you know, I've never understood why the tournament doesn't
just include all four thousand, three hundred college basketball teams
in the country. First of all, you could just make
the entire season the tournament, which would obviously boost ratings. Second,
of course, just think of how exciting that first round
(11:03):
would be. You could have number one seed Kansas facing
number four thousand, three hundred seed Pennsylvania Highlands Community College. Now, sure,
PHCC might only have eleven people in the entire school
and not even have a basketball team yet, but think
of the upset potential. Look of how big it would
(11:25):
be when the number four thousand, three hundred seed upsets
the number one seed.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
That would be like David beaton Goliath.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
It's such a slam dunk idea, don'ty. I can't believe
nobody's doing it anyway, It's right, dah. While we're talking
basketball in the WIBA this page Bukers sit came out
and said that it's nobody's business if she had a
relationship with her new teammate Aziazi Fudd.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You know, because all these reporters are asking about.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
It, and you know there's people out there saying, well,
you wouldn't ask the same question about male basketball players. Well, Tony,
I personally think we should ask those questions about male
basketball players.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
You know, absolutely should be asking those questions, and specifically
about Steph Curry and Klay Thompson. Why would they call
the splash brothers. You know, I've never understood that. Was
it because they bathed together or you know, went skinny dipping.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
You know, I think the people have a right to know.
The people have a right to Here, he goes to me.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Why you can't what it's because the net would look
like it's splashed when they would swish a three pointer.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Oh well, you're going to splash in the ocean when
I throw you off my speedboat.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Yeah, and I'm going to stab you with my swish blade.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Now, shall forget you out there?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Leave a comment on our producer's gearable performance so he
gets that feedback.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
And that's now four comments that you're going to write
and make sure you include present next to it.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Yep, you know, on the subject of presence. Well, Mother's
Day is right around the corner, and what better way
to show your love for your mother than getting her
a gift from the official Fusco Show Merchant store.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Of course, it's full of terrific gifts just for her.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
In fact, there's a new item in the store, this
new Polly and Tony for Co President logo that you
can put on mugs, shirts, anything, your mouse pads, anything.
Now you are probably dreading having your shopping for your
mom and dreading more even having to spend money.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Well, good news.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You can get twenty five percent off everything in this
store April thirtieth through May third, and that's our gift
to you and your mother. All Right, we're going to
take a quick break. When we come back. Our most
controversial segment ever It could be right after this. All right,
we're back from break. Okay, prepare yourself because you know
(14:02):
we're gonna say something that these media heads they're gonna
get they're gonna get so upset about.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
They're gonna get a.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
You know, I see these people, they're losing their minds because,
you know, the other week day whatever it was, Lebron
James threw an alley oop to his son Bronnie and
people getting so emotional about this exactly a big deal.
You know, doesn't change the fact that Bronnie James sucks
at basketball. Okay, so he made a shot from one foot.
What am I supposed to be impressed? Exactly? You know,
(14:29):
we have some very controversial takes about this, and we know,
you know, the media and maybe you out there, you're
gonna you're gonna get those.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Panties in a bunch with sensitive you know.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
We just want you to remember, we're gonna give you
some ideas here on what we can do about the
Bronnie Lebron situation. Just remember, we're just putting these things
out there. Okay, it's for your consumption, your thoughts. So
that's all this is. So that's why we're going to
bring back another popular segment called.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Just putting it out there. Just putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Okay, So you know, when I look at Bronnie James,
all I think about is how he sucks so much
at basketball.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You know.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Now, naturally a lot of people want to blame Lebron
for that, and that does make a lot of sense.
But you know, personally, I don't think it's Lebron we
should blame, because you know, well, Lebron is at least
semi decent that.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Yeah, he's okay, you know. Yeah. The person that I
think we should.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Blame is clearly Lebron's wife, Savannah, because this woman clearly
sucks at basketball, and there were probably all sports. I mean,
you know, I've never seen or met this woman in
real life, but you've got to assume that with that DNA,
you know, this woman must be as close to an
invalid as you can get without being an invalid. You know, again,
(15:44):
never met her, but you know, just putting it out there,
you know, oh, we're.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Just putting it out there.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
And you see, I think if Lebron really wanted to
guarantee that his offspring would be good at basketball, then
he should have had sex with the WNBA player. Fact,
I think every NBA player should have sex with a
WNBA player.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Just think about it.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
If Lebron had sex with say, Britney Griner, as horrible
as that would be for everyone involved and also not involved,
then that offspring would be much better at basketball.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You know, we're just putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
We're just putting it out there. I mean that's you know,
thinking about it. The NBA teams and the WNBA teams, well,
they have the same ownership, so clearly they should just
start a farm system where you know, male and female
basketball players mate.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Like you do with you know, horses. Yeah, just putting
it out out there, and you know, think about it.
The process of creating a new human being is called
pro creation. Well isn't that how you make a pro
It's not called amateur creation.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
It's called a pro creation. You know. Again, just putting
it out We're just putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I mean, you know, if I'm running the Indiana basketball teams,
well I'm getting Tyrese Haliburton to go have sex with
Caitlyn Clarke.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
It's a no brainer.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
No, Yeah, sure, Caitlin Clark as a boyfriend, but you
know he needs to understand what matters most, and that's
the future of the franchises and also the world.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
You know, Zach, again just putting it.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Out, just out there, and you know, we learned in
Philly you gotta trust the process. And what more important
process is there than that of a human egg developing
into a person. In fact, looking back, I wish the
Sixers process had been having Joe l Embiid have sex
with again Britney Griner. You know, I know that's terrible
(17:43):
to envision, and you're all probably dry heathen right now,
But again, we're just putting it out.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
We're just putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
And while we're talking combos here, Tony, what about Losa
Pippen and Michael Jordans you know, not Michael Jordan's not famous,
talentless son, no, but you know actual Michael Jordan. And
if they could just have sex once, well, that child
would be the ultimate NBA gombo. I mean, it would
be half Jordan, half Pippin in what person one?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
And I know that might be awkward for.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Michael Jordan to have sex with his son's girlfriend, But again,
just putting it out.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Just putting it out there, and now I see what
Wilt Chamberlain was trying to do.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
He was just roster building. That's all that that was.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
You know, he was trying to help his teams build
a future while populating the entire world. But since nothing
came at it that in the NBA, it's clear that
all twenty thousand of those women he slept with must
have suspence.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Sucked at basketball. Yup, And well that wraps our segment,
just putting it out there, and well we just put
out downy another terrific episode. Should did don't forget you know,
Mother's Day? Visit the merchant stay are you kidding me?
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Corrections?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Talk about someone I'd like to put out on the
garb with my garbage?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah, exactly, produce therections. Why go, just go?
Speaker 4 (19:09):
You really compared mackay Lemon's stats in college to Randy
Moss's stats in the NFL.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, same numbers. Bro, Apples to apples, Bro.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Yeah, no, it's not. You can't compare the stats from
college to the stats from the pros. It's a totally
different game.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Oh yeah, well you know it's going to be totally different.
Your face after I beat you.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yeah, I saw your stats in college. Two thousand nights alone.
Oh yeah, Oh I still talking?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
What go you pronounced the w NBA star page Buckers?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
So what bro? Yeah, it's written that way. Bro.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
What Yeah, No, it's not her name. Her name is
Paige Becker's not Bukers. You might want to learn her
name since she's one of the best players in the sport.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Oh well, on the subject of page you know who's
about to receive a page the corner after I murder you.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Yeah, and don't worry, I learned your name, penisless douchebag.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
Oh what, by the way, it's not Goliath, it's Goliath.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Oh well, why don't you Goliath on a train track?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yeah? And why don't you go yourself.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
That while he's going, guess who's coming to the show
next week? Just booked super Bowl hero egos legend Nick Foles.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
That you that's something you should a comment about in
the comments.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Go through it right now, six number six, maybe seven
in the present.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
And you know what, we're also gonna be counting. We're
gonna be counting.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
The number of people who visit the merch doll who right,
I can always count on Dony.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
That's you to do a great job as you did today,
Same to you, Paulie, another floorless show. There you go,
we'll see people next week. See your
On today's show, we'll tell you why the Eagles made
the greatest draft pick in the history of time. And
also we're gonna do what could be our most controversial
segment ever.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Let's go roll the intro. Are you alive where you
won't be for long? All right?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
All right?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You damn into your life from Philly. It's the number
one rated Polly and Tony Foolstone Show.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yo yo yo, As always Polly Fool's go here with
Tony fools Go and Tony you huge show today. You
know you're gonna hear things on today's show that you
won't hear from the rest of the lay media because
you know they're afraid of the truth and all the
potential lawsuits.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
You know, we're not.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
No, you know, no, are you kidding me? We tell
you the truth because unlike them, we don't consult lawyers
or any of that woosy nonsense.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, none of that. I mean, we're talking truth, though.
We do have something to say to you. Yeah, you know,
listen to this.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Watch you.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Our views for the last episode on YouTube was suspiciously
down yep, which means you know we were doing our job,
but you clearly wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
There was also a suspiciously low number of comments, wasn't it, Tony?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
So that's why we've decided that from now on we're
taking attendance. You're gonna write your name in the comments
and write the present next to it, so we know
who's here and who's absent.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Hold on, Tony, producer back that he's given a stink, guy.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
What do you look at?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Guy?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
What do you want?
Speaker 4 (01:40):
This just all sounds like a frankly sad and desperate
way to get engagement on a video and to try
to get more views.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Oh well, you know what's never gotten a view? Your
penis great one. Now, don't listen to him.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
We want to see those names in the comments and
write present next.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
To it, or tardy if you're late.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, exactly, yep, but you know who's not, Donny Tony
us were right on Dimond. Time to get right now
into our top story. The top story, of course, the Eagles,
who naturally won the NFL Draft as they always do
as usual, this time landing what many people around Philly
(02:25):
and up and down our street are calling the single
greatest draft pick in NFL history, and Guy Lemon, wide
receiver out of USC and Tony, the stats just speak
for themselves with this guy, you know. So, in fact,
that's that's why you know, usually we do a take here,
we don't even need to do that because you get
ready for this people. We're gonna do what what has
(02:45):
come to be one of.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Our most famous segments on the show. We came up with.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It ourselves, our original ip. Just follow this what we're
gonna do. This might be a little complicated for you,
but the follow we're gonna show you stats of mackay
Lemon and then Tony is going to have to guess
which other player has those same stats, right, Dony, exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
It's such a great original idea, and just like you said,
that's our ip. In fact, if you think this segment
is familiar or like you've seen it somewhere before someone
else doing it, go ahead and write in the comments
where you've seen it before so that we can sue
their pants off.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
But you still want them to write present, right Tony.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Oh of course, of course, but do it in a
separate comment so that there's two separate comments.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yep, do that anyway, Okay, right now we're gonna do
this segment. Get ready called blind resume, blind resume. Okay,
here you go, Dony. These were mckuy lemon's stats for
last year. He averaged fourteen point six yards per catch
and had eleven receiving touchdowns. Go ahead, Dony, and name
(03:58):
the player who had that exact same stat line.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Hmmm, you know those stats sound very familiar. I'm gonna
go out on a limb and say, Randy Moss with
the Patriots in two thousand and eight.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Of course, said it right on the money, Tony. And well,
that just right there shows you how good McKay lemon is,
you know.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Basically Randy Moss in his prime, incredible numbers.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Never lie, Tony, Yo, they never do. You know.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
You know who does lie. It's the biased anti Eagles media.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
You know, well they do.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
The Eagles under fire again because in the draft they
picked a Nigerian athlete named hold On Tony. I'm I'm
having a little trouble with this name, all right. That's
his last name is Banad, that's not obvious, but his
first name, his first name is spelled you a ru
(05:00):
any idea you got done them?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
How to pronounce that one? Tony?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Wah?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
You know you are? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
You know, maybe his parents were naming him and they said,
you are Bernard, and the guy writing down the birth
certificate must have thought that you are was his first name.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
You know, who are? What?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Huh? What do you?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
What?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Do you got marbles in your mouth? What do you what?
You sing on something? What? What are you saying?
Speaker 4 (05:29):
It's pronounced who are? Who are?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
As in nice? Like shut up? Because who are ruining
the show?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh? Or who are never gonna have sex with the woman? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
There you go, by the way, you know why you're
leaving the comments? Why you leave one for our producer?
Tell him to stop talking way forever. Just go ahead
and write that now.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Also, don't forget right present, so that there's three comments.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Three comments right anyway? All right? Ooh aah Bernard if
that's his name? Anyway? Whoa? Bernard is being.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Called a quote controversial pick by the Eagles because he's
never played football in his entire life and therefore has
zero playing experiences. I don't see how this is a
problem at all, deal Tony, not at all.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
In fact, I've always said the less experience a player has,
the better. That way you can mold them. It's why
I've always said that the NFL draft shouldn't be with
college football players, but babies, you have the draft right
then in the maternity ward at the hospital. That way
you can evaluate that raw talent, because what's more raw
(06:42):
than a baby?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
No, nothing.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Babies are born with important instinctual football skills that you
can immediately test, you know, yep, finding the gap, you know,
cutting through the whole, working a spread formation, and you
know boop control, which is a lot like ball control.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It is. I couldn't agree much, he said.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
And you know, so many times I hear these idiot
scouts say these things like, well, this guy is quote
a born winner. Well, how do you know? How do
you if you weren't in the delivery room?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
You know, you can't know?
Speaker 3 (07:20):
And you know, may I say, just think of what
an honor it would be for the first person your
baby sees to not be the doctor or his or
her mother, father, but.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Instead Eagles GM Howie Roseman.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
That baby would know coming out of the gate that
he's been drafted to a class organization.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Totally agreed, donate, although you know, thinking it through, this
might not work for other teams, you know, because what
if that poor baby comes out and sees Jerry Jones
waiting for it.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
You know, you know that's a good point.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
You know, it might hit the transfer portal back to
the incubator, or wait another trimester before coming out.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Ye, I could see how that could be an issue
up But anyway to more fallout from the NFL Draft. People,
they're still baffled by the Rams taking Ty Simpson in
the first round. Now a lot of people are saying that, well,
Sean McVay looked upset about the pick, and it was
strange that he refused to come out and publicly support it.
And well, I don't blame him for a second, do.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
You, Dony, not for one second. I mean, just think
about it.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Sean McVay lives in Los Angeles, and if you walk
around Los Angeles and say I really like this football
player named Simpson, well people are gonna think you like
murder and then you have to say no, I meant
Ty Simpson. But by then people won't hear you because
they've already run for their lives or they've probably shot
(08:47):
you in self defense.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
True, great points all around that, Tody, And well, now
let's move to the Jets and what's being called a
bombshell accusation from former Jets running back Le'Veon Bell. He
came out and he said that ex Jets coach Adam
Gaze was using cocaine during his dime with the Dame.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
And well, you know, many people.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Are up at arms about this, but I don't see
a problem here, do you, Tony.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
You know, if you're forced to be coach of the Jets,
then I think you should not only be permitted to
use every drug, drugs should be provided to you for
free in your contract. How else can anyone coach the Jets.
In fact, most people don't know this, but Todd Bowles
that's not his real last name. No, people just started
(09:35):
calling him that because he just stayed in his office
all day smoking bulls to numb himself from the pain
of having to coach the Jets.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's true, a lot of people don't know that, Dony.
And there's actually more Jets news. There are reports that
the Jets are considering bringing in Russell Wilson. They'll be
the backup quarterback to Geno Smith. Donny, your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You know this is such a smart move.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
You see, the Jets have realized through Sam Donald, that
their players play best when they're playing for the Seattle Seahawks. Well,
then by that math, it would mean that the Seahawks
play best when they're on the Jets.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
You know, it's as simple as that. It's as simple
as that. That's all. That's it, you.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Know, talking about simple, we've got to talk about basketball news.
There are reports that the NCAA is considering expanding the
Turney Field from sixty four teams to seventy two teams.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Now a lot of people are.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Saying this is too many teams, but Tony, I don't
think this is nearly enough things.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Do you know, I've never understood why the tournament doesn't
just include all four thousand, three hundred college basketball teams
in the country. First of all, you could just make
the entire season the tournament, which would obviously boost ratings. Second,
of course, just think of how exciting that first round
(11:03):
would be. You could have number one seed Kansas facing
number four thousand, three hundred seed Pennsylvania Highlands Community College. Now, sure,
PHCC might only have eleven people in the entire school
and not even have a basketball team yet, but think
of the upset potential. Look of how big it would
(11:25):
be when the number four thousand, three hundred seed upsets
the number one seed.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
That would be like David beaton Goliath.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
It's such a slam dunk idea, don'ty. I can't believe
nobody's doing it anyway, It's right, dah. While we're talking
basketball in the WIBA this page Bukers sit came out
and said that it's nobody's business if she had a
relationship with her new teammate Aziazi Fudd.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You know, because all these reporters are asking about.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
It, and you know there's people out there saying, well,
you wouldn't ask the same question about male basketball players. Well, Tony,
I personally think we should ask those questions about male
basketball players.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
You know, absolutely should be asking those questions, and specifically
about Steph Curry and Klay Thompson. Why would they call
the splash brothers. You know, I've never understood that. Was
it because they bathed together or you know, went skinny dipping.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
You know, I think the people have a right to know.
The people have a right to Here, he goes to me.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Why you can't what it's because the net would look
like it's splashed when they would swish a three pointer.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Oh well, you're going to splash in the ocean when
I throw you off my speedboat.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Yeah, and I'm going to stab you with my swish blade.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Now, shall forget you out there?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Leave a comment on our producer's gearable performance so he
gets that feedback.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
And that's now four comments that you're going to write
and make sure you include present next to it.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Yep, you know, on the subject of presence. Well, Mother's
Day is right around the corner, and what better way
to show your love for your mother than getting her
a gift from the official Fusco Show Merchant store.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Of course, it's full of terrific gifts just for her.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
In fact, there's a new item in the store, this
new Polly and Tony for Co President logo that you
can put on mugs, shirts, anything, your mouse pads, anything.
Now you are probably dreading having your shopping for your
mom and dreading more even having to spend money.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Well, good news.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You can get twenty five percent off everything in this
store April thirtieth through May third, and that's our gift
to you and your mother. All Right, we're going to
take a quick break. When we come back. Our most
controversial segment ever It could be right after this. All right,
we're back from break. Okay, prepare yourself because you know
(14:02):
we're gonna say something that these media heads they're gonna
get they're gonna get so upset about.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
They're gonna get a.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
You know, I see these people, they're losing their minds because,
you know, the other week day whatever it was, Lebron
James threw an alley oop to his son Bronnie and
people getting so emotional about this exactly a big deal.
You know, doesn't change the fact that Bronnie James sucks
at basketball. Okay, so he made a shot from one foot.
What am I supposed to be impressed? Exactly? You know,
(14:29):
we have some very controversial takes about this, and we know,
you know, the media and maybe you out there, you're
gonna you're gonna get those.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Panties in a bunch with sensitive you know.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
We just want you to remember, we're gonna give you
some ideas here on what we can do about the
Bronnie Lebron situation. Just remember, we're just putting these things
out there. Okay, it's for your consumption, your thoughts. So
that's all this is. So that's why we're going to
bring back another popular segment called.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Just putting it out there. Just putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Okay, So you know, when I look at Bronnie James,
all I think about is how he sucks so much
at basketball.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You know.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Now, naturally a lot of people want to blame Lebron
for that, and that does make a lot of sense.
But you know, personally, I don't think it's Lebron we
should blame, because you know, well, Lebron is at least
semi decent that.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Yeah, he's okay, you know. Yeah. The person that I
think we should.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Blame is clearly Lebron's wife, Savannah, because this woman clearly
sucks at basketball, and there were probably all sports. I mean,
you know, I've never seen or met this woman in
real life, but you've got to assume that with that DNA,
you know, this woman must be as close to an
invalid as you can get without being an invalid. You know, again,
(15:44):
never met her, but you know, just putting it out there,
you know, oh, we're.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Just putting it out there.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
And you see, I think if Lebron really wanted to
guarantee that his offspring would be good at basketball, then
he should have had sex with the WNBA player. Fact,
I think every NBA player should have sex with a
WNBA player.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Just think about it.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
If Lebron had sex with say, Britney Griner, as horrible
as that would be for everyone involved and also not involved,
then that offspring would be much better at basketball.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You know, we're just putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
We're just putting it out there. I mean that's you know,
thinking about it. The NBA teams and the WNBA teams, well,
they have the same ownership, so clearly they should just
start a farm system where you know, male and female
basketball players mate.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Like you do with you know, horses. Yeah, just putting
it out out there, and you know, think about it.
The process of creating a new human being is called
pro creation. Well isn't that how you make a pro
It's not called amateur creation.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
It's called a pro creation. You know. Again, just putting
it out We're just putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I mean, you know, if I'm running the Indiana basketball teams,
well I'm getting Tyrese Haliburton to go have sex with
Caitlyn Clarke.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
It's a no brainer.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
No, Yeah, sure, Caitlin Clark as a boyfriend, but you
know he needs to understand what matters most, and that's
the future of the franchises and also the world.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
You know, Zach, again just putting it.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Out, just out there, and you know, we learned in
Philly you gotta trust the process. And what more important
process is there than that of a human egg developing
into a person. In fact, looking back, I wish the
Sixers process had been having Joe l Embiid have sex
with again Britney Griner. You know, I know that's terrible
(17:43):
to envision, and you're all probably dry heathen right now,
But again, we're just putting it out.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
We're just putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
And while we're talking combos here, Tony, what about Losa
Pippen and Michael Jordans you know, not Michael Jordan's not famous,
talentless son, no, but you know actual Michael Jordan. And
if they could just have sex once, well, that child
would be the ultimate NBA gombo. I mean, it would
be half Jordan, half Pippin in what person one?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
And I know that might be awkward for.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Michael Jordan to have sex with his son's girlfriend, But again,
just putting it out.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Just putting it out there, and now I see what
Wilt Chamberlain was trying to do.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
He was just roster building. That's all that that was.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
You know, he was trying to help his teams build
a future while populating the entire world. But since nothing
came at it that in the NBA, it's clear that
all twenty thousand of those women he slept with must
have suspence.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Sucked at basketball. Yup, And well that wraps our segment,
just putting it out there, and well we just put
out downy another terrific episode. Should did don't forget you know,
Mother's Day? Visit the merchant stay are you kidding me?
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Corrections?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Talk about someone I'd like to put out on the
garb with my garbage?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah, exactly, produce therections. Why go, just go?
Speaker 4 (19:09):
You really compared mackay Lemon's stats in college to Randy
Moss's stats in the NFL.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, same numbers. Bro, Apples to apples, Bro.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Yeah, no, it's not. You can't compare the stats from
college to the stats from the pros. It's a totally
different game.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Oh yeah, well you know it's going to be totally different.
Your face after I beat you.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yeah, I saw your stats in college. Two thousand nights alone.
Oh yeah, Oh I still talking?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
What go you pronounced the w NBA star page Buckers?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
So what bro? Yeah, it's written that way. Bro.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
What Yeah, No, it's not her name. Her name is
Paige Becker's not Bukers. You might want to learn her
name since she's one of the best players in the sport.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Oh well, on the subject of page you know who's
about to receive a page the corner after I murder you.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Yeah, and don't worry, I learned your name, penisless douchebag.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
Oh what, by the way, it's not Goliath, it's Goliath.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Oh well, why don't you Goliath on a train track?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yeah? And why don't you go yourself.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
That while he's going, guess who's coming to the show
next week? Just booked super Bowl hero egos legend Nick Foles.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
That you that's something you should a comment about in
the comments.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Go through it right now, six number six, maybe seven
in the present.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
And you know what, we're also gonna be counting. We're
gonna be counting.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
The number of people who visit the merch doll who right,
I can always count on Dony.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
That's you to do a great job as you did today,
Same to you, Paulie, another floorless show. There you go,
we'll see people next week. See your
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