June 27, 2023 • 57 mins
In this week's episode of The Professional Homegirl Podcast, Eboné is thrilled to welcome back her guest from episode 142, "I'm A Virgin." Previously, Eboné's guest fearlessly explored the joys and challenges of embracing her identity as a virgin. Returning with an exciting update, Eboné's guest shares the exciting story of losing her virginity in a foreign country to someone she had only known briefly.
Brimming with curiosity, Eboné's guest decides to ask Eboné a few sex-related questions of her own. Eboné seizes the opportunity to share her own knowledge and experiences, drawing from her time in college when she encountered her first love. Plus, Eboné imparts a valuable tip that she learned to her guest and the listeners.
Additionally, Eboné's guest openly reflects on the mix of emotions that accompanied her first sexual encounter. She bravely shares her excitement and fears, delving into the depths of her anxieties and insecurities during this transformative moment. Plus, she shares how a popular TV show had such an influence on her that it drove her to the point of seeking tests for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in order to alleviate her concerns.
Eboné's guest highlights the profound impact of nurturing and embracing oneself, explaining how her unwavering dedication to self-worth paved the way for this special moment on her own terms. With grace and confidence, she illustrates the power of cultivating a deep appreciation for oneself, allowing her to approach the experience with authenticity and assurance.
Join Eboné and her guest in this relatable episode of The Professional Homegirl Podcast, as they delve into candid conversations about sex and self-love.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
I'm excited to welcome back our special guest to the show.
In a previous episode, episode, our guests openly discuss her
experiences as a virgin. Today, she joins us again to
share an exciting update on her recent journey of losing
her virginity. So, before I begin, how are you doing?
How are you feeling good?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm doing great?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
You sure I'm great?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Am I supposed to like say like, oh, I feel
like a new woman? Or is that what you're asking for?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Like asking you how you're doing this?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Oh? I did good?
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Okay, So before we began, Keiki and child, have you
shared your experiences or your experience with any of your
friends and if so, how did they react or respond?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
That was I feel like everyone responded somewhat the same.
It was always just like what like some people were
some of my friends. I was away, I was like
on a trip, so I kind of just either facetimed
or texted, and it always was kind of more or
less the same. It was just like shock or one
(01:21):
of my friends. It was really funny, I because I
didn't tell everybody that I met this person. So when
I told one of my friends, she was like, you liar.
I was like, I'm not lying.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Are excited for you?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
No? They were. It's just that I didn't tell them
that I was talking to someone at the time, because
it happened pretty fast. So when I was just like, oh, yeah,
I came to the city and I met someone and
we had sex, and she was like what. She's like,
stop it. She's like, you're such a liar. And I
was like, I'm telling you the truth.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Why didn't you tell anybody you were Why do you
tell anybody you met someone?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Oh, I mean it was only I only knew him
by the time it happened. It was only a weekend.
So it's not like I it's not like I was
going around being like, oh as soon as we met
the first day, I wasn't going around telling that many
people because I didn't even know what was going on.
And it was a whirlwind that it was just so
it was so quick. By the time I looked around,
(02:17):
I had sex with him, and I was like, oh,
I was like, I'm with somebody. I started talking to
this person. It just happened. It happened so quickly. Why
some people just didn't know, Like a lot of people
didn't know that I was talking to anybody, because I
only told like one or two people like when I
started talking to him.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Okay, yeah, so let's talk about the events leading up
to you meet this person who took your v car.
So how did you meet?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
We met? I went to London on a trip. It
was like I E prey love the trip. I was
working at the same time, and it was always like
a dream of mine to live in London. So I
just wanted to take a baby step and lived there
for a month. And I went there and I took
a bunch of like different activities, different to keep myself busy,
(03:08):
to meet new people. And I went to an improv
like jam. If people are not familiar with improv, like,
you can take do jam sessions where you meet other
people and it's not like a show you like performing
for the other improvisers. Basically it's a social gathering. So
I went to that and where I met him. I
(03:29):
met this guy and he was very It was kind
of just like it happened pretty It's pretty easy, Like
there was nothing really drawn out. We just kind of,
I guess locked eyes or whatever and started talking. We
just kind of progressed from there.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Okay, and did you know often.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Did I know if the bath I went to have
sex with him? Or yeah, did I not off the
bat that? Uh? No, I didn't know. I think I
was gonna have sex with him. The first time I
met him. I didn't think that he was gonna be
the one that I was gonna have sex with. I thought, oh,
like he's really cute, like we're having fun together. We
had like a very like world wind night of just
like talking and hanging out. We spent like hours together.
(04:13):
But I didn't think like, Okay, this person is the
person I'm gonna have sex with. It was more so
just like, oh, I'm just going with the flow. He's
really fun, right, Yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I'm assuming y'all hung out more than once y'all went
on dates.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, we went on additional days before we had sex,
not that many. It was only I met him. It
happened very quickly. It wasn't I didn't really It was
something I didn't really think too much about.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
When you don't put too much do into shit, I
gonna put too much time into it.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Honestly, I wasn't like I knew the day when the
night that we didn't have sex. I knew that I
was gonna have sex with him, but I didn't know
prior to that. It's not like it was just something
that was very easy and seamless, and he always made
me feel comfortab and scene and we just had a
lot of like open conversations, and he was very vulnerable
with me, and I was vulnerable with him. So I
(05:08):
felt like I was in a good space, good mindsight
to have sex with him. And that night when we
did have sex, like, it was very easy and he
was very sweet and patient. I didn't tell him.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Down low down.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Sorry, I don't fast.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
So tell us about the night, tell us about leading
up to it. And also because I listened to your
your first episode you did and you mentioned how every
time you tried to have sex that you on your period.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yes, yes, yeah, I was not on my period that night.
I just I guess it was aligned with the universe.
But yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Go ahead, says.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I'm all about manifesting. I mean that's why I met
this man. But yeah, so that night we were just
he what would I say, Like, we had communications that
were going to meet up that night we met up
another improv thing and you know, we're just hanging out talking,
chit chatting whatnot, and then you know, conversation was flowing
(06:15):
and then we ended up going back to his place
because he asked, and then I went back to his
place and then I mean there was not I mean,
I knew that was going to do it because you know,
I prepared myself. I had stuff in my bag to
make sure that that at change of clothes and like
you know, toothbrush and like what nothing crazy, like right,
(06:39):
I just like I knew that it was going to happen.
I was like, let me just prepare myself to at
least have the materials I needed for the next day.
And yeah, so I just like we went back to
his and it was very much like I don't know,
it felt like we were just on the same page.
And he was very I don't know how much you
want me to.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Go, But how are you feeling? Like were you nervous
leading up to that moment? Because I do will agree.
I feel like a lot of women know when they're
gonna end up having sex with a nigga when ye
a colonizer.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Well, I mean, well I'm more so colonizing his area
because I I'm not from there, but so but anyway. Yeah,
so technically, yes, he is quote unquote a colonizer, But
what was I gonna say?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, no, I'm nervous.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Were you like I was nervous. I mean I wasn't nervous. Actually,
surprisingly I wasn't. I mean, it just felt like the
right time in this.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
For so long.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, yeah, I'm a late bloomer, so like I was
just kind of like, Okay, well, he just felt like
the right person to have it with. And I don't
regret having with him. I mean, I'm sorry, I feel
like you're gonna ask me a quial anyway, but like,
I am very happy that I didn't have it with him.
I wasn't nervous and I and he had No, he
(08:07):
didn't make me feel nervous. Like it kind of was
like a split second like of him just putting his
penis inside of me, and I was like, oh, like
it was. It was jarring, for sure, it was painful,
but I think I was more just excited to get
to do the success, right, yeah, like and not even
just like to finally do it. I think I was
just really excited to do it with him.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
So I was just like, because.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, he made me feel comfortable. Even though I didn't
know him that long. He made me feel super comfortable
and I was like, oh no, I'm And I also
was really attracted to him, so that obviously helps. I'm
happy it was with someone that I was really attracted to.
When I was having a good time with.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Uh huh you heard me, that thing was wet, it
was thanging.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Oh god, well it was it was. It was just
it was nice, I had a good time. Like, I
don't know he I had a really connection to him,
and I'm assuming he also had a strong connection to me.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
But yeah, so why you didn't tell him that she
was a virgin?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Oh, because I just didn't. I don't need all of that.
Plus he was I've like told the other guys in
the past, this is like years ago, like you guys
that I'm a virgin, and they would freak out, like
we didn't all come out of the womb as a virgin.
So it was just kind of like a lot, and
I feel like guys get really in their heads. And
also like, I'm happy I didn't because he was already
nervous on top of that, so like it didn't I know,
(09:31):
if I did tell him, I.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Was probably made it a little even more uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah, it would have made it so uncomfortable. And like
I feel I know that he probably figured that I
was a virgin like throughout us doing having sex.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
But like, how do you feel? How do you think that?
Like how do you know?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Because like I feel towards like I mean, we had
we did have sex a bit, and like even though
I took I mean I mean we had I don't know.
I guess for the first time he had sex like
maybe three four times, okay, and then the second time
he hung out it was like another three times.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I would say, you make enough a lot of time.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I mean, yeah, I guess, but it was nice even
he was very just like into it and he was
making I felt good. He felt good. Yeah, we had
a we had a connection. But what what were you
saying before It's gonna say something and that I play.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
About him about you not telling him that you were
a version.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Oh yeah he knew, I know, he I justn't I
feel like he knew. Like it was just one of
those things where, uh, you know, after a minute of
like doing different positions and stuff, and like I kept
being like that's too much, like telling him to. He
was very he was very patient and kind, so half
the time he was just kind of like, is this okay?
Is this all right? Like I feel like I don't
(10:59):
know it's like to be a person that doesn't have
sexual long time and have sex again, and I've heard
it is pretty painful. So maybe he didn't think I
was a virgin, but I think he was trying to
ask about my sexuality and like trying to see how
much I've had sex, and I just I didn't even
answer that question. I was just like, yeah, you know,
I I've had a lot of situationships, Like I very
(11:20):
much like tried to skip over that. I didn't want
to get into a whole thing about my virginity because
I feel like there's a lot of questions and like,
I don't know, we already had sex at that point,
so it's like, what it's the point of even getting
into it. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
It's not like, yeah, wait, he asked he was asking
you questions about your sexuality and just about sex.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
After the fact, Yeah, he asked me after fact he was.
We were just talking about relationships and stuff. Is when
we got deeper dive. This is like the second time
this is like the last time you were hanging out,
and like he you know, it was a great night.
It was we just had like a great day together
and the night and whatnot. And then he was just
kind of we're just talking about just opening up, because
(12:02):
that's what we usually did. We open up a lot
to each other in a short period of time. And
we were just talking about relationships and like our sexual
history and stuff. And then I kind of, oh, I've
just been in situationships and he's talked about his like
his background, but like we didn't. He was trying to
ask me, but I just was like, yeah, no, like
(12:22):
I just have a lot of situationships, you know, like
nothing really progressed. Like I very much tried to not
even touch it. But I think he realized that and
then just didn't want to touch it because obviously.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
He was you didn't want to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
He obviously know I didn't want to talk about it,
and he's not gonna pry like I'm not ready to
open up about that stuff. But you know, I mean
I just didn't think it was necessary for him to know,
Like what, what is that really going to help? Like
he's just going to know what's my first time? Like,
and knowing that we didn't really we were not together.
It's like, why even open up that much when we're
just gonna be doing our own things in the future anyway.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Right, Andy, Wait, you watched your virginia at twenty nine. Hm.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
That's pretty good though, meaning I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I mean, that's good that you waited that long and
you waited and you decided to do it on your terms,
because I know a lot of people decide to have
sex at a very young age, Like I wanted to
lose my virginity to somebody that I really love, and
I lost it to my first love. So that's really dope.
That's really good.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Yeah, no, yeah, it worked. I mean I'm not upset
about it. I'm happy it was him.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Right, So were there any unexpected challenges or surprises doing
the experience?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I would say it was. It was just super painful,
you know what. There was one experience and this was
not helpful. I'm pretty paranoid by nature, especially when it
comes to sex, because I always hear certain things about
people during sexual activities, especially if like and mind you,
I didn't know this, I barely knew this man, like
it was a week like, yeah, we opened up and
all these things, and I felt comfortable around him, but
(13:55):
like you never, like I hear stories all the time
about how men treat women and I don't know, it's
just like it leads to I don't know. I just
felt like, you know, you can't you can't trust you
can't trust certain men, and you know, at the end
(14:16):
of the day, I was still like kind of worried
about like the condom situation.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
So did you see him put the KANDAM on?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
No? I did. Every time. You would ask me every
single time if he should put the condom on before,
like he was asking like to prepare for sex. He's like, oh,
should I put the condom on? And I was like yeah,
and then we always have sex, but like you always
had the condom on. But it was just one of
those things. I think the show MICHAELA. Cole made, Yeah
I'm baking on name?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
How Yeah? May I answer?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
You know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
But that was an excellent show.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, it was really good. But there's a scene where like,
may I call you? I don't remember the show name.
Now We're just like I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Figure it out.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Now. I feel like I have to look it up.
It's I may destroy you.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Where the hell did I get may I call you from?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I don't know? May I call you instead of distribute? Yeah. No,
there's a scene where the guys they're having sex and
she's she's like doing like I think still doing doggy style,
and like he like removes and like I always have
that like fear that that's going to happen, because it happens.
It happens all the time, and it's considered to be
(15:32):
rape in some states. It's not considered raping most some
other states.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
So my direct term for that is called stephan.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yes, so I was just like kind of worried about
it because you never know. So how this time I
kept looking like we're having sex and I'm just like
looking for the condinal, like it's so long, Like great, it's.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
A little Coochie was probably so siressed out, your coach.
You probably didn't know the way.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
It was so bad.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I was like, and you know, what's so unfortunate is
that show is based off for an incident that happened
to her in real life. So that's very unfortunate that
you have to really be mindful when you're engaging with
these niggas.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, No, it was really bad. Like I was, like,
I kept looking. That was one thing I definitely had
to fear about, and just like other things that I'm
just not used to, like, you know, I mean before
we even had sex, I asked him, I mean, you
never know, but I asked him if he got tested
and he said yes, like a month ago. So I
was like, okay, so but then again, you never know,
you know, right. So it's just one of those things
(16:43):
that that's always something that I worry about. I'm just
a hypochondriac by nature, so like I'm always kind of
nervous about that stuff. And you know, I was like,
I'm just gonna take this chance and just do it
because I felt comfortable. I mean overall, I was comfortable,
but it's just something I'm always gonna be like thinking
about and worried about. So that was one thing I
(17:07):
would say that was like a challenge I had to
deal with. Other than that, it was painful. I mean
there was some when it first went in. Yeah, I
mean there was. Once I started getting a little bit
used to it, it got better, Like I can see
why people like sex. But what I guess I can
(17:31):
see some people don't, no, because some people I've heard
like have like they've never, especially women like they've never
most people, most women don't even orgasm. So it's like
for me, it's like I I mean I did, but
like some people you or no, not every time it
(17:51):
was just one of again, it was painful. There was
some moments where I was like, I was like, this
is a lot, and then there's other moments I was like, Okay,
this is not and it's only because he was being
so like considerate. He was like, how about this position,
how would we change it to this? Move like this
stuff like that, Like he was very like and he
had like, you know, lubricant and stuff like that. So
it wasn't like he's making it very comfortable for me.
(18:14):
So I was like, okay, like different things were helping
the situation. But I feel like if he didn't care
about me, or like he didn't care about feel like,
it would have just been uncomfortable for the most part.
But since he was trying to make it more pleasurable
for me, it worked out.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
But Christopher Columbus, he's a random name. It was okay,
I mean, yeah, you make a good point. I mean,
I do understand because I do have girlfriends who when
they do have sex, it can be painful. And I
know a lot of women and I can't think of
(18:52):
the exact name for that, but it has something to
do with It's like it's not, want to say, a disorder,
but it's something. It's a term for it. Because my
homeger actually had this situation where it felt like it
was glass inside of her.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, I think it's called bat vaginiesis veg.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yeah, it's something like that. So you have to go
to the doctor and get that checked out, because every
woman deserves the bust a nut.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah. Yeah, No, I've heard it's pretty if you have something.
I've heard I have a friend who had something similar
to that, but it turned out with something else. Yeah,
it's like if some people just have it, they just
always have it and there's not much you can do about.
It's more so like you have to flex the vaginal muscle.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yea.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
And I thought I thought that was gonna happen to
me because I've never had sex, so I thought I
was worried that it was gonna be extremely painful the
entire time.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
But once you get in there, it starts to feel good.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
It felt better along the I think that has needed
more experience doing it. Like granted it's been i'd never Yeah,
it's just been one of those things where that would
feel better over time. So it did. It wasn't. There
were still moments where it was kind of painful, and
(20:06):
then there was moments when it was fine.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
So yeah, I feel like if you're doing certain positions,
it can definitely be painful for sure, and I think
that's for anybody that's engaged in sex. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah,
there was yeah, I you know, I was talking to
friends and stuff and they were like, yeah, that definitely
is gonna happen, especially when I also had sex on
my period with this person as well. Wow, you just
(20:30):
ain't playing okay. Wow, I haven't even had sex for
my period. I don't know how long. Okay, the lost time.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I wanted to and I was like no, no, and
he's like I don't care, and I was like, okay,
they nasty.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I wish I could see my guess she's cracking.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I don't I don't know he was. He was just
very like yeah, no, I don't care, and I was
like all right. I was like, well, you're going to
mess up your bed and he's like, I want to
make a mess, and I'm like, oh, it's like I
was like, okay, I was like, so what happened?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
It was uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
No, honestly, wasn't that bad. I thought it would be gross.
I thought, I mean, I didn't want to be making
a mess, you know, like I like a period could
be messy in general. So I was just like, oh,
I really don't want to make like I was. Really
I thought I was gonna feel self conscious about it,
but he didn't make me feel self conscious about it,
so I just didn't and it was perfectly fine. And
(21:39):
also it was like the last times I was going
to see him, so I was like, you know, let
me just do it, because like I'm not going to
see him.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I don't know, all right, And I'm assuming that you gave.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Him I did once. I need to work on that.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
But uh, what happens, especially if you're not used to.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Like, yeah, yeah it was, it was. It was interesting,
yeahs interesting. I didn't I didn't hate it. It was
just one of those things where you know, I'm still
getting used to it, and I wasn't sure if I
was doing it the right.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Way was telling you, because I feel like he's very
big on communicating, which is a good thing.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Yeah No, I mean he you know, I think he
really was. It wasn't like he didn't like it. It
was more so like I did it. I think I
just I did it. I realized I have a gag,
a pretty bad gagging fucks in general, and I went
back a little too far and I just kept choking.
So I was like, oh no, I was like, I can't.
So then he was like, no, no, it's okay, it's okay,
like he obviously yes, some guys like it, but he
(22:43):
was very like nice about it. And he was like,
it's if you're it's okay if it's too much, and
I was like, okay, he was big. I mean he
was average. I mean he was.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
When I was in college because I lost my virginity
my freshman year. That's when I met my first love.
And I don't know who taught us this dumb ass trick,
but it look key. No, it high key work. So
I give I sure tip. Put you in the listeners.
So they say, I mean, I don't have to use
it now because you know, but you're supposed to use
(23:30):
some chloroseeptic sowred throat spray. Yeah, you spray it in
your throat. So when you spray it a couple of
times throat, yeah, so it helps you get comfortable with
pushing it back while you're sucking dick.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Okay, on standpire, I clean that my purse girl.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Niggas don't care. They just want to get the job done. Baby.
I mean, are you in practice with like use a
banana or cue cobus shit and see how far you
can go. I'm serious, it works. It really didn't work.
So I feel like this experience met your expectations.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
It did. Yeah, I'm I you know, I'm not saying
that like I don't know. I mean, you know, life
is funny that way. I'm just like I've always wanted
to you know, I always wanted to have sex.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
You always want to be in London.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I was going to be in London, and then it
kind of just like worked out. Like I am happy that.
I'm honestly happy that it was him. Obviously I'm not
with the person, but I'm very happy that it was him.
I Mean, most people who they had their first time with,
they're not even with the person anymore. So, it's just
one of those things. I'm like, I am happy. I'm
very happy that it was him. I don't regret it
(24:53):
for a second, Like everything pretty much is good.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
So I remember the last time we had a conversation
on the show and you mentioned how you was interested
in this guy who was in an open relationship, and
I was like, please don't have sex with this nigga.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Oh you mean the oh yeah that guy.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Whatever happened to that situation.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Oh, he's like he married, he's proposed to his girlfriend.
There because we still we still in not interrupting each
on social media, but we do follow each other on
social media, so I've seen this. He like looks at
my stories, I look at he likes posts, like he's
very he's very I'm very happy for him, like he's
getting married to the love of his life, like what
(25:38):
he says, his love of his life. So I mean,
I'm I mean, I I don't think if I had
sex with him, I would have been like upset about it,
but I am how it ended up. Like I'm happy
that I ended up having sex with this guy in
London because I.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Do feel like this this guy took into your took
your fell listen to consideration.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Yeah, Like I felt like he was very emotionally invested
in fully connecting with me. And I felt like if
it was with the guy in the open relationship, it
wouldn't have been the same way. I felt like it.
He would have been pretty like I feel like with
the guy that in the open relation I'm sorry the
guy that I had s's within London. It was very intimate, yes,
(26:21):
and not saying that like the guy in the relationship
wasn't intimate, but I feel like it was. It was
just different. It was very different, and I felt like
there was a lot of moments where he was holding
back and like, wasn't sharing a lot of things with me.
So I was like, okay, I only could know so
much of you. But the guy in London, I felt like,
I pretty much you know, he was very open to
(26:43):
having those conversations with me and being vulnerable, which was nice.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I ain't gonna lie now that I'm looking at you,
I do feel a little glow on you.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
You're you know, I could not see a glow on
me if.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
The sunlight hitting him from the window.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
What, Yes, I'm so in love. I'm in lod Oh
my god.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
So is there anything that you wanted to do but
didn't get a chance to do. I know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
No, I'm not doing anal. I have no desire to you.
Let me get the I have to get the trading
rules off first. Before I even know that, I'm like,
I'm not going to jump to anal all of a sudden.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I think he was gonna jump the war either.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Well, I was like, it's I mean, it's there and
I like him, so I'll just do it. I mean,
we were he had sex, so it's like we already
did the most intimate thing together. What was I gonna say?
I mean, not really like I wish we could spend
(27:48):
more time together, but that was that's not really much
of a sexual thing. It's more of like a preference,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
So what's the situation with you're and the guy? Now?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Oh, we don't talk anymore because well, I mean, you know,
towards the end, it was very much like he is
he already did a long distance relationship. I think he
just has a lot of things to work out personally
and internally. And I don't blame him. I mean, I
(28:19):
don't want to do a long distance relationship either. If
he asked me. I would have been like, yeah, sure,
like let's keep talking. I wouldn't be like, let's be
in a relationship, but it would have been nice to
be like, yeah, we can keep talking and stuff. But
he didn't want to like, you know, lead string me
along or lead me on or anything, being like let's
keep talking and then what if he disappears because of
(28:41):
life or like he just meets somebody new, which is fair.
I can't blame him because I would be kind of
hurt if he did that. I would be hurt if
we were talking and then all of a sudden he disappeared.
So so it was one of those things where he
was like, I just want to be upfront with you
and like, you know, like I like you and everything.
I just you know, it's probably better if we just
(29:02):
end things here, and he's like, I'm not saying that
I never want to talk to you and never want
to see you again, but like it's just one of
those things where it's like if I ever wanted to
reach out to him, I could. I don't have a
desire to reach out to him like that, but if
I went back to London, possibly I would reach out
to him. But you know, life, you know, people change
(29:23):
and stuff like that, So who knows.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Do you wish she would have told you this before
y'all had sex or doesn't matter, No, it didn't really matter.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
I think it was very much Again, it was very
much like a whirlwind. I wasn't really thinking about that.
I just oh, I'm in London. I just want to
have fun, And like all I thought was really gonna
happen was I was going to meet some guy. I
thought I was gonna go on bumble apps. I mean
bumble apps. I'll go on the bumble app and.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Like you app, baby, I.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Don't love an app, but like it was one of
those things where I'm in a new city and like
you want to meet people. I want to meet people.
So it was like an option. But that's why I
also did activities outside of that. I wasn't just like
relying on the app. But then I met this guy
and I didn't expect to meet this person. So I
was just kind of like, okay, like I wasn't expecting
to meet this person. I didn't have a plan that
(30:12):
I was going to lose my virginity. But you know,
as time went on and we were getting so uh
in you know this, because right, it just kind of
was very easy. So from that I was kind of
just like, you know what, like I guess this is happening.
And then like I'm sure. I mean, it wasn't in
his cards either. It's not like he was just going
around like having sex with people. I mean, I don't
(30:34):
know his life, but I would say that like, it wasn't.
He didn't give me that impression. It was very much
like we just ended up being in the situation that connecting.
So yeah, so it was just I don't know, I
wasn't expecting it and it just kind of happened.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
And yeah, So how did this experience affect your perception
of yourself and your sexuality? Do you feel more confident?
Do you look at yourself differently? Because I know in
the last conversation we had, we spoke a lot about
confidence and like, you know, insecurities and stuff. So has
that changed or.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I mean, I don't I still feel the same way
about sex. I don't. I'm not. I'm not, you know,
after so long I'm not having sex. I'm not. I'm
still going to be the same person. It's not like, Okay,
all of a sudden I had sex once, it means
I'm just gonna drop my paintings for any man that's
is slow to me, Like, it's still gonna be the
same situation where I'm like still vetting making sure because
(31:35):
like I just know myself, like I need to be
connected to the person. I need to be like okay,
like there's a promise of something or like I feel
like we're connected or stuff like that. Just couldn't. It's
just not in me to dec have sex with whomever.
I mean, maybe it would be easier if it was,
(31:55):
but honestly, this is not who I am. I just
know what I am. No, I just think people like
I'm not saying that you but I'm saying that. You know,
people will ask me. I'd have this question asked like, oh,
like do you think now you're going to have sex
a lot?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
And I'm like, no, well, no, I ask you about
your confidence, like do you feel more confident in yourself? Like,
because I know in the past it's been situations when
you really like someone or you like several people and
you know a lot of people just treated you wrong
and your feelings got hurt. So have this situation like
because I feel like this was a really great experience
regardless of how an outcome happened, because I feel like
(32:30):
if you would have been in London, y'all would have
still been kicking it.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Okay, I mean, I see what you're saying. I would
how to answer this question. I would say that when
I after I I would say, after I had sex
with this person, and like you know, I came back home.
I was kind of just like, hmm, I don't feel
like there's like this pressure to put on myself to
(32:54):
like meet this like by by person, by tomorrow. I
think my issue from not having wanting to have sex.
I was like, oh, there's no one that wants to
have sex with me, and like all these I used
to feel really negative. This is like way in the past,
like before I really properly started loving myself, which is
something I'm always working on.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
But like we all are even Yeah, I know you
think I'm Beyonce, but I have insecurity systems Okay, but no, no,
it's really true, like we all are working on ourselves
and like just on the journey of self love, like
it's never ending.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
It's never ending. And I think in the past, like
you know, when I was like twenty six, twenty seven,
and like, especially during the pandemic, I was like, what
is me? No one's going to love me, Like I
don't know if I'm ever going to meet that person
because you know, sex is so much, it's so porelated
in a romantic relationship and like, yeah, self work.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Like you have to have a brand to be considered desirable.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah yeah, And it's like I never had that. I
never I never had that full connection. I thought there
was always something wrong with me, right, And I felt
like when I met this person, he just I mean
I think when i'm I think I built the confidence
level and like the just like the positiveness, positiveness in
(34:10):
myself and all the self love that I gathered over
the years. Like it wasn't just about the sex that
gave me the confidence. It was about how I be self.
I had so much self love for myself and appreciate
for myself. That's one reason why that it worked the
way that it did.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Like that made me happy. I'm so happy because if
you listen to the last episode, you really like you
can tell like you can hear a difference, but I
can see a difference. Like so that's really dope because
I really didn't want you having sex with these colonizes
shall and they in open relationships, and like because your
first time, like even though you did it on your terms,
(34:47):
like I would ratter you lose your or I would
write anybody lose their virginy to somebody that makes them comfortable,
that makes them feel seen, even if it's for a minute,
Like you just always want to be protected in such
an intimate space.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yeah, yeah, but I mean the only again, the only
reason I worked out is because, like I I literally
was like, you never know how I when we first
started talking, I was like, damn, he's cute. Like I
was like, I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
You probably is dating somebody. And then the more we
spent time talking together each other, I was like, you
know what, like let me put that in the patht
like I'm not gonna think too much about this. We're
just having a conversation, like I know what I'm worth,
Like I'm here on a trip. I'm just gonna have fun.
Like I wasn't, I wasn't being so down at myself.
I was just really just coming in with positivity and
that self love that I've gathered for the past years.
(35:33):
I was like, you know what, let's just go with
the flow. And then from that that confidence of making
conversation with him and like really much like oh, what
do you do for work? Like what's this? Like da
da da da, like having all these conversations with him.
That's the only reason why we ended up like hanging
out and doing all these things, because I think he
just felt that energy of me just being like, I
don't We're just having fun, Like it's not a big deal,
(35:54):
We're just having conversation. And I don't think that would
have happened if I just like was so negative and like, oh,
I don't know, I don't know if he likes me,
like stuff like that ever would have happened if it
was like that. Yeah, exactly, So I definitely, I definitely
it wasn't. Yeah. The sex really, it definitely. It definitely
(36:17):
showed me something afterwards where I was just kind of like, Okay,
after all these years of not having sex and I
finally met this person and then had sex and it
was it was It was great. It was like a
beautiful like thing. I don't every moment of it. I
still remember it was perfect, Like even the day after
it was really nice. I don't know everything that I
(36:40):
would have wanted for a first time. He really did
give me and more than I thought. And after that,
I was like, you know what, I know what I'm worth.
And I literally attracted this person who gave me all
these things that I would like in a relationship and
I'm just or just in like a sexual situation that
I'm like, I don't want less than this, and I
(37:01):
think like I was like, oh, like if I never
had before, I was like, oh, if I don't have sex,
like if I ever gonna find somebody that wants to
be with me, like and stuff like that. But now
that I had sex, I'm just kind of like, oh, well,
now I know I can be I'm I'm gonna be
more selective of knowing what I want. It definitely helps
with that mindset being like okay, like I don't need
(37:23):
this person like I already had sex, like right, but
forcing myself, I could be like, oh I like this
person because so and so, like I don't have to
think so much about the sex aspect. And I think
that was such a woombing presence.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Over so much pressure on you.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
It puts so much pressure I would be going on
dates and I'm like, oh, the sex thing is gonna
come up. It's gonna come up at some point. I'm like,
do I really want to have sex with this person?
I'm like cool, but like I don't have that like
big spark with him. And that's basically most of my
situations I felt like in the past ended up being.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
But yeah, yeah, So have your attitudes or feelings towards
sex and timacy involved or is it pretty much the same?
Speaker 2 (38:04):
That's the same. I think I've mentioned this before. I
would say that, like, I don't know, I feel pretty
much the same about sex. Like I'm I'm still like
i am not like wary or anything, but I'm just
selective about who I have sex with.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, as you should, because yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
I just know some people, you know, like they you know,
trying to open up their sexual awakening and like they're
doing all these different new things and that's fine. I
just don't have the mental capacity to have I just
need I know from my person I know for me,
like I'm pretty much like, I just know, I've always
known how I am as a person from like dable ones.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I mean, you're an aquarius, so ye me, some you
aquarian women like I don't care how much we try,
like because I dated and I did my thing. But
every Aquarium woman that I know is a relationship type
of girl. She is a lover girl. She want to
be kept like, she want to get right beside her. Like, listen,
(39:09):
we got some celebrities that are Aquarius, and I just
be like, yo, I know it's all camp because all
Aquarian women, especially February Aquarius, we're all the same.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yeah, that's just what a relationship just. I just can't.
I can't do the whole like being with different type
of people. It's just too much for me. I'm just like,
I just need the one person and I'm good. I
don't need multiple I'm fine. So yeah, that that never
really changed that after the whole sex thing, it didn't
really change for me.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
But I will say that definitely date and get to
know different types of people, because I think that's the
best way that you can get to know yourself both
you know, sexually, mentally, Like different people bring out different things.
So as long as you have safe I would say,
have fun.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Yeah, No, for sure, for sure. I I'm definitely learning that,
especially you know dating that dating new people now, Okay, people.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Okay, are you looking for your next prospect?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Okay, that is that the same your new CrossFit presp Oh,
I need to CrossFit, like I like go workout. I
mean there there is one person and he's.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Cool with the twin bit.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
Wow, he is good. He is nice, and he's good
to me, and he cheats with the respect that I deserve.
And that's the only thing I could ask for him.
I don't like him.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
I like him, but okay I do.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
This is a whole different conversation. I know, I know
what I like, and I know that he's giving me
the things that I would like, and I I very
much like realize that like me putting this other guy
on a pedestal, this London guy, someone that I really know.
(41:18):
It was very much like clouding, like how I see
this person that I'm with now and I'm just like,
I'm comparing them so much and it's not fair to
compare because no man is the same. And also I'm
comparing him to someone I had my first time with,
someone that was like so special to me that it's
like it was very much like, oh do I like
this person? I was like, I kept going back and
forth and I'm like I can't keep going back and
(41:40):
forth about someone if I like them, I.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Like them, right, I mean, but that's also natural too though,
because that's just the only person you can compare him to.
So I think that in life, when it comes to
sexual partners, you're going to be like, oh, I wish
he didn't like this person or I wish he had that.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Yeah, and that's another new thing that I'm learning with like,
you know, going meaning different partners like this the first
person I met after having sex for the first time.
So I'm always going to be comparing like this person
to the person I had sex with previously, because like
that was what I that's what I'm accustomed to, that's
what you know, that's what I know. So, like that's
(42:15):
the whole thing you were just saying, like you should
find out, you know, date other people to see what
you like. And currently that's what I'm doing. And it's
been it's nice to like have this other way I
think other person to be like, Okay, like I like
this or I don't like this, and I can say,
like what I like to this person because you know,
(42:35):
I was with the other person previously. So yeah, it's
been it's been good.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
Yeah, I can't wait for you to have sex with
a black man. Oh, with a black man.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
I'm just saying, I'm just I'm just saying a well
(43:17):
in doubt black man, like.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I can't wait to hear that stuff.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I don't know I mean that, guess. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Sure, Well I'm super happy for you. I'm so like
I said, I can besides the whole sex part and
you losing your virginity on your own terms, I really
do see a difference with how you like treat yourself,
how you speak over yourself, and I'm happy that you
are in a great space when it comes to yourself love.
So kudos to you. Sis.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Yeah I did it without therapy, which I missed therapy,
but it was a struggle to get here.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean I'm pretty sure you guys
some type of tools from therapy that helped you or
did you not you didn't like your therapist?
Speaker 2 (44:06):
No, I loved my therapist. I miss her. I wish
she could still be in my life, but I wouldn't
say I didn't. I feel like with therapy and not
saying therapy is a bad thing, Like, I do appreciate
that that were getting to a therapy conversation. But I
would say like with therapy, especially with my therapist, I
felt like I was which I think this is what
their purpose is. I felt like I was just mirroring
(44:27):
myself or at the end of the day, I would
just be talking and talking and talking, and then I
was solving my own problems because at the end of
the day, we all know what we're supposed to be
doing and we're gonna do it anyway. The therapist is
there just to like try to guide you to it,
guide you to it, but also.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
The vie tools and resources to help you.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Along that journey. I am not a doing therapy at all.
I just think that I was doing most of that.
And I felt like not saying that I don't need therapy,
because everybody needs therapy, aways need somebody. But I felt
like I've been using the tools of like a positive
mindset and like guiding myself because of the tools, Like
(45:11):
you know, I feel like not saying I felt like
I was doing most of the labor, that most of
the work.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
So in other words, why to hell, I'm paying you
and I'm doing most of the work.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Yeah, I felt like I was doing Like I felt
like you know she was very helpful, so sweet, but
I felt like at the end of the day, she
wasn't They can't tell you what to do. You have
to Oh, now I'm talking myself and I'm overthinker by trade,
so like I'm talking myself, giving myself every single scenario
and by the time I'm talking to her, she's like,
that's right, and I'm like, so what the hell I'm
(45:45):
I'm literally doing all this.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
Work now that I think about it, I also feel like,
but I don't know my therapist. She's fucking amazing, Like
I haven't into her in a while, because I mean
I used to go to her like every other week
and I've been going to herd for like over five years.
So I did the work. But I used to feel
like that too, Like she used to definitely like guide me.
(46:07):
But I also feel like she was like an older
big because she's an older woman, so she'd be like
a big sister me and girl. She used to tell
me like how she tell me how it is, like
she's talking to me crazy.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
I used to be like, I feel like I did
I want someone like that, But I guess, like, you know,
I get the point of therapy. You're not supposed to
tell you what to do because you're supposed to make
up your own mind yourself, Like, no one can change
your perspective besides you. But anyway, she was great. I'm
just saying at the end of the day, like I
very much, uh walked myself through a lot of different
(46:38):
scenarios and that's how I got here. Yeah, but yeah,
do you have any other if you questions for me?
Speaker 1 (46:47):
No, that's pretty good. I mean you got you got
somewhere to go. Wait, did you play your mom?
Speaker 2 (46:54):
I did?
Speaker 1 (46:55):
I did? What did your mom say?
Speaker 2 (46:59):
She's I literally was like I just told your at random.
I was like, oh, I didn't I told you that
I lost my virginity, right, And then she was like.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
No, you didn't tell her. Yea, kids, I can't wait
to have a cap like you know, you didn't fucking
tell me that you lost your virginity to stop playing?
Like no.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
And then because I because we kept talking about the guy.
She knew about the guy because as soon as I
got to London, She's like, oh, yeah, yourself a little
white boy, Like oh my god. I was like I
was like, I mean I just saw him, like whatever.
And then three moments that they'll try to call me,
but I was like out with him or whatnot, So
they knew about him. And then when I got home,
(47:40):
they were like, so, so what's going on. You're gonna
be with him? And I was like no. So then
eventually I was like, oh, so I told you, and
then she's like, no, you didn't. And then I was
like yep, and then I was like and I literally
looked at her. I literally said to her, I was like, mommy,
I'm twenty nine years old, Like do you swept me
to You're the one that wants me to get married
to a nice man one day? How do you expect
(48:00):
me to do all these things? I was like, I
don't understand what you expected to just come by a stork?
You know that's not true, Like, you know, I have
to have sex, you have two children, you know how
it works. So like I'm just like, I don't know what.
She was like, okay, okay, so how was it? And
I was like it was good. I was like he
was very nice, respectful, and she's like okay, okay, and
(48:21):
I was like, already got tested. That was another thing
that was what was it?
Speaker 1 (48:27):
No, it's good. Listen get tested. No for sure, Like
I just I just made that laugh because I know
you overthink, because that's what Quarius do.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
No, because when I got back, I got I I
thought I had an s CD. It was a yeast infection.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
But did you pee after you came?
Speaker 3 (48:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (48:47):
I did.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
No. I always made sure because I was told to
do that, like that made sure you're pee after you
have to pee. So I did. And then it was
more so the friction that it wasn't like the peeing.
It was the friction I think because when I had
period sex, we didn't use it.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Don't have listen, have period six with your man? Like,
come on, now, what we have? I periods six for everybody?
What do you mean don't have periods X for everybody?
Speaker 2 (49:19):
No, I'm not. I'm saying that we didn't have. But
we didn't use lubricant for that one.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
So I can irritate you.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
No, it's very ny. It's very much irritated me. When
I got back, I thought something was wrong, so I
was like, oh God, oh God. I was like, I
hope nothing happened. And then I got tested and it
turned out to be a YaST infection.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
It's supposed to come out, not in and out.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
It was bad. I thought something that because I've never
had that before. So I was like, I was like,
oh god, oh god, right, and then it just ended
up being a used infection. So yeah, but anyway, that
that's why I got tested. Anyway, that's the reason why
I got tested. But it turns out I need to
figure out a better way to get tested because I
ended up spending like almost close to two hundred dollars
(50:01):
for my doctor.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
You ain't gotta share it, I no, I do.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
That's why I was like, what the hell? I was like,
why would I get I don't know why I was
charged that amount, to be honest, but getting tested no cost,
don't cost nothing. Really, I don't know why they charged
me that much. I'm gonna have to look into my
insurance at some point. But it was very confusing. I
was like, why did I get charged in amount?
Speaker 1 (50:25):
And what they test you for?
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Like all the disease they test me for, like the
main STDs HPV I think was also included. And then yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
Here's a little fun fact. When it comes to herpes,
you have to request to get tested for it because
herpes is no longer considered an STD is considered a
skin infection, so that's why they don't test it. I mean, listen, infection.
I mean because technically everybody has herpes. There's different types
(50:57):
of herpees exactly. So some people have this string that
just causes colde source and that some people have the
string that causes the STD. So you have to get
tested for that, but you have to ask for that because,
like I said, yeah, they consider their skin infection interesting.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Yeah, I mean I feel like most people have it.
I just think some people it doesn't activate in others,
right as people, right, because I'm like, at this point,
it could be from skin to skin contact. I'm sure,
and most people have that.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
At this point, right, No, seriously, Like it's like a
lot of people don't know that. Like a lot of
people think that they get tested for everything, and you
get tested for everything except for that.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
So it's wild. I don't even think they tested you
for HIV.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
No, I think they. I think they do. I think
they asked you for it. But I also feel like
HIV is so common now, so like yeah, compared to
how it used to be back in the day, Like
HIV used to be very taboo, very like oh my god,
but I think now, I mean, and also people were
dying off of it because they didn't have a cure
and they didn't know what it was. And people also
thought that it was a gay disease. But anybody can
(52:05):
have HIV and if you take your medicine, you good
to go.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
So, but I think this wasn't amazing, not us educating
telling my STDs right after therapy child like who are we?
We are not not the faulcy. Okay, I did not
know that at all? Right, Okay, do you have any
(52:32):
questions for me before we leave?
Speaker 2 (52:35):
Yes, I was gonna ask you for you, like, when
you're sucking, if you were to suck dick, do you feel.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Well if you were trying to be all politically correct
if you work, No, bitch, I suck dick. We all
suck dick.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
Ship it. Okay, I'm saying, are you really afraid of
like getting an STD from doing it?
Speaker 1 (52:59):
I mean, I think that as you get comfortable with
having sex, because you're just starting, because I remember when
I first had sex, I was very like, oh my God,
like this and that because he was the only one
that I was having sex with, and even though he
was my boyfriend, I later found out that he was
cheating on me, so I think that I mean, yeah,
but it was kids, Like I mean.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
My friend, right, it was your first love.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
I know he was my first love for sure. Like
I look like I have no regrets, like when I
tell you it was like a movie, like it was perfect.
But I don't really get I don't really have any
concerns or anything, because I just don't suck everybody dick.
I don't think that everybody should be able. I don't
think that you should give that to everybody. And if
you do right, and if you do, that's completely fine,
(53:43):
that's not my back. Like I just feel like, you know,
sucking dick is very intimate for me.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
So then he said that to people, I'm like, that's
such a vulnerable thing to do, Like I don't know
how clean you are right for me, I just don't know, like,
you know, I just feel like it is I'm putting
my mind.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
But I also feel like that's a and not to
no shade, no tea, Like if that's what you do
on the record, and that's completely fine, But I just
feel like for me, like, but I'm also a relationship
type of girl. So if I'm sucking dick. You my man,
you know what I'm saying, because I'm not self condom dick,
so I need skin dick. So I definitely feel like
as you no, cause you know, I'm pretty sure you
(54:23):
in your the beginning you suck. You did condom dick,
which is completely fine. But I think that right, I
think that once you build that trust with somebody and
then like I'm really big on getting tested because once
I'm in a relationship and it's me and you and
we get tested, like I want to feel you. So
I think that over time, you'll get more comfortable with that.
(54:44):
But I don't think there's anything wrong with that, Like
everybody shouldn't get that. That's something that's like an added
bonus exactly.
Speaker 2 (54:51):
It's supposed to be a treat, like I've given you
an extra treat.
Speaker 1 (54:54):
Yeah, Like my pussy is enough, nigga, make it work.
Speaker 2 (54:59):
I literally told the person i'm with now, I was
like listen. I was like, I'm not going it's not
like I'm never going to do this, but like it's
just one of those things that I'm not doing to you.
Speaker 1 (55:10):
But don't be boring.
Speaker 2 (55:11):
Now I'm boring. I am. I am nothing but boring.
He is well satisfied.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
Oh yeah, I had sex. No, whoa, this is already
on two? Come on, I said, no, okay, I feel
like you're lying.
Speaker 2 (55:33):
I didn't have texted them. I we he's he is
fine with the things I have done.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
So what you do if you have sex and you
ain't sucking dick?
Speaker 2 (55:46):
He is? He's okay, you the guy. Okay, so I'm
not sucking and I'm also not having text to them,
So you immedately say that.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
I mean, it's only so much you gonna do with
a man like you checking him off at this age.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
Okay, but no, what are you?
Speaker 1 (56:12):
I'm really curious? What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (56:16):
Stop for the podcast?
Speaker 1 (56:18):
All right, she's gonna tell me off there, and I'm
gonna come back y'all and tell y'all what she doing.
Let me keep my listeners out of the tea. Do
you have any more questions or anything? Oh my Joe, Okay,
you know, maybe you can watch some porn from inspiration,
but also you have to be mindful when it comes
(56:39):
to porn. Porn is porn.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
It's not real, and most of them get all of
them have to be tested.
Speaker 1 (56:47):
Oh yeah, I mean yeah, that's a job, of course.
But yeah, porn is not real for sure. I mean
some porn is real, but for the most part. Yeah,
but I think this was an amazing conversation. I think
that one thing that we can take for this is
just make sure you do things on your own terms.
So I am super happy for you and to the listeners.
If you have any questions, comments of concerns, please make
(57:08):
sure to email me at Hello at thepgpodcast dot com.
Please make sure to follow me on Instagram and at
YouTube at the Professional Homegirl. And last but not least,
please don't forget to read my love letters at dayalldone
dot com. Until next time, everyone later, say bye, oh bye.
(57:35):
The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black
Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and break the show,
and you can connect with me on social media at
the PG podcast
I'm excited to welcome back our special guest to the show.
In a previous episode, episode, our guests openly discuss her
experiences as a virgin. Today, she joins us again to
share an exciting update on her recent journey of losing
her virginity. So, before I begin, how are you doing?
How are you feeling good?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm doing great?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
You sure I'm great?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Am I supposed to like say like, oh, I feel
like a new woman? Or is that what you're asking for?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Like asking you how you're doing this?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Oh? I did good?
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Okay, So before we began, Keiki and child, have you
shared your experiences or your experience with any of your
friends and if so, how did they react or respond?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
That was I feel like everyone responded somewhat the same.
It was always just like what like some people were
some of my friends. I was away, I was like
on a trip, so I kind of just either facetimed
or texted, and it always was kind of more or
less the same. It was just like shock or one
(01:21):
of my friends. It was really funny, I because I
didn't tell everybody that I met this person. So when
I told one of my friends, she was like, you liar.
I was like, I'm not lying.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Are excited for you?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
No? They were. It's just that I didn't tell them
that I was talking to someone at the time, because
it happened pretty fast. So when I was just like, oh, yeah,
I came to the city and I met someone and
we had sex, and she was like what. She's like,
stop it. She's like, you're such a liar. And I
was like, I'm telling you the truth.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Why didn't you tell anybody you were Why do you
tell anybody you met someone?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Oh, I mean it was only I only knew him
by the time it happened. It was only a weekend.
So it's not like I it's not like I was
going around being like, oh as soon as we met
the first day, I wasn't going around telling that many
people because I didn't even know what was going on.
And it was a whirlwind that it was just so
it was so quick. By the time I looked around,
(02:17):
I had sex with him, and I was like, oh,
I was like, I'm with somebody. I started talking to
this person. It just happened. It happened so quickly. Why
some people just didn't know, Like a lot of people
didn't know that I was talking to anybody, because I
only told like one or two people like when I
started talking to him.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Okay, yeah, so let's talk about the events leading up
to you meet this person who took your v car.
So how did you meet?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
We met? I went to London on a trip. It
was like I E prey love the trip. I was
working at the same time, and it was always like
a dream of mine to live in London. So I
just wanted to take a baby step and lived there
for a month. And I went there and I took
a bunch of like different activities, different to keep myself busy,
(03:08):
to meet new people. And I went to an improv
like jam. If people are not familiar with improv, like,
you can take do jam sessions where you meet other
people and it's not like a show you like performing
for the other improvisers. Basically it's a social gathering. So
I went to that and where I met him. I
(03:29):
met this guy and he was very It was kind
of just like it happened pretty It's pretty easy, Like
there was nothing really drawn out. We just kind of,
I guess locked eyes or whatever and started talking. We
just kind of progressed from there.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Okay, and did you know often.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Did I know if the bath I went to have
sex with him? Or yeah, did I not off the
bat that? Uh? No, I didn't know. I think I
was gonna have sex with him. The first time I
met him. I didn't think that he was gonna be
the one that I was gonna have sex with. I thought, oh,
like he's really cute, like we're having fun together. We
had like a very like world wind night of just
like talking and hanging out. We spent like hours together.
(04:13):
But I didn't think like, Okay, this person is the
person I'm gonna have sex with. It was more so
just like, oh, I'm just going with the flow. He's
really fun, right, Yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I'm assuming y'all hung out more than once y'all went
on dates.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, we went on additional days before we had sex,
not that many. It was only I met him. It
happened very quickly. It wasn't I didn't really It was
something I didn't really think too much about.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
When you don't put too much do into shit, I
gonna put too much time into it.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Honestly, I wasn't like I knew the day when the
night that we didn't have sex. I knew that I
was gonna have sex with him, but I didn't know
prior to that. It's not like it was just something
that was very easy and seamless, and he always made
me feel comfortab and scene and we just had a
lot of like open conversations, and he was very vulnerable
with me, and I was vulnerable with him. So I
(05:08):
felt like I was in a good space, good mindsight
to have sex with him. And that night when we
did have sex, like, it was very easy and he
was very sweet and patient. I didn't tell him.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Down low down.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Sorry, I don't fast.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
So tell us about the night, tell us about leading
up to it. And also because I listened to your
your first episode you did and you mentioned how every
time you tried to have sex that you on your period.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yes, yes, yeah, I was not on my period that night.
I just I guess it was aligned with the universe.
But yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Go ahead, says.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I'm all about manifesting. I mean that's why I met
this man. But yeah, so that night we were just
he what would I say, Like, we had communications that
were going to meet up that night we met up
another improv thing and you know, we're just hanging out talking,
chit chatting whatnot, and then you know, conversation was flowing
(06:15):
and then we ended up going back to his place
because he asked, and then I went back to his
place and then I mean there was not I mean,
I knew that was going to do it because you know,
I prepared myself. I had stuff in my bag to
make sure that that at change of clothes and like
you know, toothbrush and like what nothing crazy, like right,
(06:39):
I just like I knew that it was going to happen.
I was like, let me just prepare myself to at
least have the materials I needed for the next day.
And yeah, so I just like we went back to
his and it was very much like I don't know,
it felt like we were just on the same page.
And he was very I don't know how much you
want me to.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Go, But how are you feeling? Like were you nervous
leading up to that moment? Because I do will agree.
I feel like a lot of women know when they're
gonna end up having sex with a nigga when ye
a colonizer.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Well, I mean, well I'm more so colonizing his area
because I I'm not from there, but so but anyway. Yeah,
so technically, yes, he is quote unquote a colonizer, But
what was I gonna say?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, no, I'm nervous.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Were you like I was nervous. I mean I wasn't nervous. Actually,
surprisingly I wasn't. I mean, it just felt like the
right time in this.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
For so long.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, yeah, I'm a late bloomer, so like I was
just kind of like, Okay, well, he just felt like
the right person to have it with. And I don't
regret having with him. I mean, I'm sorry, I feel
like you're gonna ask me a quial anyway, but like,
I am very happy that I didn't have it with him.
I wasn't nervous and I and he had No, he
(08:07):
didn't make me feel nervous. Like it kind of was
like a split second like of him just putting his
penis inside of me, and I was like, oh, like
it was. It was jarring, for sure, it was painful,
but I think I was more just excited to get
to do the success, right, yeah, like and not even
just like to finally do it. I think I was
just really excited to do it with him.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
So I was just like, because.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, he made me feel comfortable. Even though I didn't
know him that long. He made me feel super comfortable
and I was like, oh no, I'm And I also
was really attracted to him, so that obviously helps. I'm
happy it was with someone that I was really attracted to.
When I was having a good time with.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Uh huh you heard me, that thing was wet, it
was thanging.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Oh god, well it was it was. It was just
it was nice, I had a good time. Like, I
don't know he I had a really connection to him,
and I'm assuming he also had a strong connection to me.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
But yeah, so why you didn't tell him that she
was a virgin?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Oh, because I just didn't. I don't need all of that.
Plus he was I've like told the other guys in
the past, this is like years ago, like you guys
that I'm a virgin, and they would freak out, like
we didn't all come out of the womb as a virgin.
So it was just kind of like a lot, and
I feel like guys get really in their heads. And
also like, I'm happy I didn't because he was already
nervous on top of that, so like it didn't I know,
(09:31):
if I did tell him, I.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Was probably made it a little even more uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah, it would have made it so uncomfortable. And like
I feel I know that he probably figured that I
was a virgin like throughout us doing having sex.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
But like, how do you feel? How do you think that?
Like how do you know?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Because like I feel towards like I mean, we had
we did have sex a bit, and like even though
I took I mean I mean we had I don't know.
I guess for the first time he had sex like
maybe three four times, okay, and then the second time
he hung out it was like another three times.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I would say, you make enough a lot of time.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I mean, yeah, I guess, but it was nice even
he was very just like into it and he was
making I felt good. He felt good. Yeah, we had
a we had a connection. But what what were you
saying before It's gonna say something and that I play.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
About him about you not telling him that you were
a version.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Oh yeah he knew, I know, he I justn't I
feel like he knew. Like it was just one of
those things where, uh, you know, after a minute of
like doing different positions and stuff, and like I kept
being like that's too much, like telling him to. He
was very he was very patient and kind, so half
the time he was just kind of like, is this okay?
Is this all right? Like I feel like I don't
(10:59):
know it's like to be a person that doesn't have
sexual long time and have sex again, and I've heard
it is pretty painful. So maybe he didn't think I
was a virgin, but I think he was trying to
ask about my sexuality and like trying to see how
much I've had sex, and I just I didn't even
answer that question. I was just like, yeah, you know,
I I've had a lot of situationships, Like I very
(11:20):
much like tried to skip over that. I didn't want
to get into a whole thing about my virginity because
I feel like there's a lot of questions and like,
I don't know, we already had sex at that point,
so it's like, what it's the point of even getting
into it. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
It's not like, yeah, wait, he asked he was asking
you questions about your sexuality and just about sex.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
After the fact, Yeah, he asked me after fact he was.
We were just talking about relationships and stuff. Is when
we got deeper dive. This is like the second time
this is like the last time you were hanging out,
and like he you know, it was a great night.
It was we just had like a great day together
and the night and whatnot. And then he was just
kind of we're just talking about just opening up, because
(12:02):
that's what we usually did. We open up a lot
to each other in a short period of time. And
we were just talking about relationships and like our sexual
history and stuff. And then I kind of, oh, I've
just been in situationships and he's talked about his like
his background, but like we didn't. He was trying to
ask me, but I just was like, yeah, no, like
(12:22):
I just have a lot of situationships, you know, like
nothing really progressed. Like I very much tried to not
even touch it. But I think he realized that and
then just didn't want to touch it because obviously.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
He was you didn't want to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
He obviously know I didn't want to talk about it,
and he's not gonna pry like I'm not ready to
open up about that stuff. But you know, I mean
I just didn't think it was necessary for him to know,
Like what, what is that really going to help? Like
he's just going to know what's my first time? Like,
and knowing that we didn't really we were not together.
It's like, why even open up that much when we're
just gonna be doing our own things in the future anyway.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Right, Andy, Wait, you watched your virginia at twenty nine. Hm.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
That's pretty good though, meaning I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I mean, that's good that you waited that long and
you waited and you decided to do it on your terms,
because I know a lot of people decide to have
sex at a very young age, Like I wanted to
lose my virginity to somebody that I really love, and
I lost it to my first love. So that's really dope.
That's really good.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Yeah, no, yeah, it worked. I mean I'm not upset
about it. I'm happy it was him.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Right, So were there any unexpected challenges or surprises doing
the experience?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I would say it was. It was just super painful,
you know what. There was one experience and this was
not helpful. I'm pretty paranoid by nature, especially when it
comes to sex, because I always hear certain things about
people during sexual activities, especially if like and mind you,
I didn't know this, I barely knew this man, like
it was a week like, yeah, we opened up and
all these things, and I felt comfortable around him, but
(13:55):
like you never, like I hear stories all the time
about how men treat women and I don't know, it's
just like it leads to I don't know. I just
felt like, you know, you can't you can't trust you
can't trust certain men, and you know, at the end
(14:16):
of the day, I was still like kind of worried
about like the condom situation.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
So did you see him put the KANDAM on?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
No? I did. Every time. You would ask me every
single time if he should put the condom on before,
like he was asking like to prepare for sex. He's like, oh,
should I put the condom on? And I was like yeah,
and then we always have sex, but like you always
had the condom on. But it was just one of
those things. I think the show MICHAELA. Cole made, Yeah
I'm baking on name?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
How Yeah? May I answer?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
You know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
But that was an excellent show.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, it was really good. But there's a scene where like,
may I call you? I don't remember the show name.
Now We're just like I'm gonna.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Figure it out.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Now. I feel like I have to look it up.
It's I may destroy you.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Where the hell did I get may I call you from?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I don't know? May I call you instead of distribute? Yeah. No,
there's a scene where the guys they're having sex and
she's she's like doing like I think still doing doggy style,
and like he like removes and like I always have
that like fear that that's going to happen, because it happens.
It happens all the time, and it's considered to be
(15:32):
rape in some states. It's not considered raping most some
other states.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
So my direct term for that is called stephan.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yes, so I was just like kind of worried about
it because you never know. So how this time I
kept looking like we're having sex and I'm just like
looking for the condinal, like it's so long, Like great, it's.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
A little Coochie was probably so siressed out, your coach.
You probably didn't know the way.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
It was so bad.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I was like, and you know, what's so unfortunate is
that show is based off for an incident that happened
to her in real life. So that's very unfortunate that
you have to really be mindful when you're engaging with
these niggas.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, No, it was really bad. Like I was, like,
I kept looking. That was one thing I definitely had
to fear about, and just like other things that I'm
just not used to, like, you know, I mean before
we even had sex, I asked him, I mean, you
never know, but I asked him if he got tested
and he said yes, like a month ago. So I
was like, okay, so but then again, you never know,
you know, right. So it's just one of those things
(16:43):
that that's always something that I worry about. I'm just
a hypochondriac by nature, so like I'm always kind of
nervous about that stuff. And you know, I was like,
I'm just gonna take this chance and just do it
because I felt comfortable. I mean overall, I was comfortable,
but it's just something I'm always gonna be like thinking
about and worried about. So that was one thing I
(17:07):
would say that was like a challenge I had to
deal with. Other than that, it was painful. I mean
there was some when it first went in. Yeah, I
mean there was. Once I started getting a little bit
used to it, it got better, Like I can see
why people like sex. But what I guess I can
(17:31):
see some people don't, no, because some people I've heard
like have like they've never, especially women like they've never
most people, most women don't even orgasm. So it's like
for me, it's like I I mean I did, but
like some people you or no, not every time it
(17:51):
was just one of again, it was painful. There was
some moments where I was like, I was like, this
is a lot, and then there's other moments I was like, Okay,
this is not and it's only because he was being
so like considerate. He was like, how about this position,
how would we change it to this? Move like this
stuff like that, Like he was very like and he
had like, you know, lubricant and stuff like that. So
it wasn't like he's making it very comfortable for me.
(18:14):
So I was like, okay, like different things were helping
the situation. But I feel like if he didn't care
about me, or like he didn't care about feel like,
it would have just been uncomfortable for the most part.
But since he was trying to make it more pleasurable
for me, it worked out.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
But Christopher Columbus, he's a random name. It was okay,
I mean, yeah, you make a good point. I mean,
I do understand because I do have girlfriends who when
they do have sex, it can be painful. And I
know a lot of women and I can't think of
(18:52):
the exact name for that, but it has something to
do with It's like it's not, want to say, a disorder,
but it's something. It's a term for it. Because my
homeger actually had this situation where it felt like it
was glass inside of her.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, I think it's called bat vaginiesis veg.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yeah, it's something like that. So you have to go
to the doctor and get that checked out, because every
woman deserves the bust a nut.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah. Yeah, No, I've heard it's pretty if you have something.
I've heard I have a friend who had something similar
to that, but it turned out with something else. Yeah,
it's like if some people just have it, they just
always have it and there's not much you can do about.
It's more so like you have to flex the vaginal muscle.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yea.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
And I thought I thought that was gonna happen to
me because I've never had sex, so I thought I
was worried that it was gonna be extremely painful the
entire time.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
But once you get in there, it starts to feel good.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
It felt better along the I think that has needed
more experience doing it. Like granted it's been i'd never Yeah,
it's just been one of those things where that would
feel better over time. So it did. It wasn't. There
were still moments where it was kind of painful, and
(20:06):
then there was moments when it was fine.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
So yeah, I feel like if you're doing certain positions,
it can definitely be painful for sure, and I think
that's for anybody that's engaged in sex. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah,
there was yeah, I you know, I was talking to
friends and stuff and they were like, yeah, that definitely
is gonna happen, especially when I also had sex on
my period with this person as well. Wow, you just
(20:30):
ain't playing okay. Wow, I haven't even had sex for
my period. I don't know how long. Okay, the lost time.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I wanted to and I was like no, no, and
he's like I don't care, and I was like, okay,
they nasty.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I wish I could see my guess she's cracking.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I don't I don't know he was. He was just
very like yeah, no, I don't care, and I was
like all right. I was like, well, you're going to
mess up your bed and he's like, I want to
make a mess, and I'm like, oh, it's like I
was like, okay, I was like, so what happened?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
It was uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
No, honestly, wasn't that bad. I thought it would be gross.
I thought, I mean, I didn't want to be making
a mess, you know, like I like a period could
be messy in general. So I was just like, oh,
I really don't want to make like I was. Really
I thought I was gonna feel self conscious about it,
but he didn't make me feel self conscious about it,
so I just didn't and it was perfectly fine. And
(21:39):
also it was like the last times I was going
to see him, so I was like, you know, let
me just do it, because like I'm not going to
see him.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I don't know, all right, And I'm assuming that you gave.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Him I did once. I need to work on that.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
But uh, what happens, especially if you're not used to.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Like, yeah, yeah it was, it was. It was interesting,
yeahs interesting. I didn't I didn't hate it. It was
just one of those things where you know, I'm still
getting used to it, and I wasn't sure if I
was doing it the right.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Way was telling you, because I feel like he's very
big on communicating, which is a good thing.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Yeah No, I mean he you know, I think he
really was. It wasn't like he didn't like it. It
was more so like I did it. I think I
just I did it. I realized I have a gag,
a pretty bad gagging fucks in general, and I went
back a little too far and I just kept choking.
So I was like, oh no, I was like, I can't.
So then he was like, no, no, it's okay, it's okay,
like he obviously yes, some guys like it, but he
(22:43):
was very like nice about it. And he was like,
it's if you're it's okay if it's too much, and
I was like, okay, he was big. I mean he
was average. I mean he was.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
When I was in college because I lost my virginity
my freshman year. That's when I met my first love.
And I don't know who taught us this dumb ass trick,
but it look key. No, it high key work. So
I give I sure tip. Put you in the listeners.
So they say, I mean, I don't have to use
it now because you know, but you're supposed to use
(23:30):
some chloroseeptic sowred throat spray. Yeah, you spray it in
your throat. So when you spray it a couple of
times throat, yeah, so it helps you get comfortable with
pushing it back while you're sucking dick.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Okay, on standpire, I clean that my purse girl.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Niggas don't care. They just want to get the job done. Baby.
I mean, are you in practice with like use a
banana or cue cobus shit and see how far you
can go. I'm serious, it works. It really didn't work.
So I feel like this experience met your expectations.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
It did. Yeah, I'm I you know, I'm not saying
that like I don't know. I mean, you know, life
is funny that way. I'm just like I've always wanted
to you know, I always wanted to have sex.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
You always want to be in London.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I was going to be in London, and then it
kind of just like worked out. Like I am happy that.
I'm honestly happy that it was him. Obviously I'm not
with the person, but I'm very happy that it was him.
I Mean, most people who they had their first time with,
they're not even with the person anymore. So, it's just
one of those things. I'm like, I am happy. I'm
very happy that it was him. I don't regret it
(24:53):
for a second, Like everything pretty much is good.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
So I remember the last time we had a conversation
on the show and you mentioned how you was interested
in this guy who was in an open relationship, and
I was like, please don't have sex with this nigga.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Oh you mean the oh yeah that guy.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Whatever happened to that situation.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Oh, he's like he married, he's proposed to his girlfriend.
There because we still we still in not interrupting each
on social media, but we do follow each other on
social media, so I've seen this. He like looks at
my stories, I look at he likes posts, like he's
very he's very I'm very happy for him, like he's
getting married to the love of his life, like what
(25:38):
he says, his love of his life. So I mean,
I'm I mean, I I don't think if I had
sex with him, I would have been like upset about it,
but I am how it ended up. Like I'm happy
that I ended up having sex with this guy in
London because I.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Do feel like this this guy took into your took
your fell listen to consideration.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Yeah, Like I felt like he was very emotionally invested
in fully connecting with me. And I felt like if
it was with the guy in the open relationship, it
wouldn't have been the same way. I felt like it.
He would have been pretty like I feel like with
the guy that in the open relation I'm sorry the
guy that I had s's within London. It was very intimate, yes,
(26:21):
and not saying that like the guy in the relationship
wasn't intimate, but I feel like it was. It was
just different. It was very different, and I felt like
there was a lot of moments where he was holding
back and like, wasn't sharing a lot of things with me.
So I was like, okay, I only could know so
much of you. But the guy in London, I felt like,
I pretty much you know, he was very open to
(26:43):
having those conversations with me and being vulnerable, which was nice.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I ain't gonna lie now that I'm looking at you,
I do feel a little glow on you.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
You're you know, I could not see a glow on
me if.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
The sunlight hitting him from the window.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
What, Yes, I'm so in love. I'm in lod Oh
my god.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
So is there anything that you wanted to do but
didn't get a chance to do. I know, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
No, I'm not doing anal. I have no desire to you.
Let me get the I have to get the trading
rules off first. Before I even know that, I'm like,
I'm not going to jump to anal all of a sudden.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I think he was gonna jump the war either.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Well, I was like, it's I mean, it's there and
I like him, so I'll just do it. I mean,
we were he had sex, so it's like we already
did the most intimate thing together. What was I gonna say?
I mean, not really like I wish we could spend
(27:48):
more time together, but that was that's not really much
of a sexual thing. It's more of like a preference,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
So what's the situation with you're and the guy? Now?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Oh, we don't talk anymore because well, I mean, you know,
towards the end, it was very much like he is
he already did a long distance relationship. I think he
just has a lot of things to work out personally
and internally. And I don't blame him. I mean, I
(28:19):
don't want to do a long distance relationship either. If
he asked me. I would have been like, yeah, sure,
like let's keep talking. I wouldn't be like, let's be
in a relationship, but it would have been nice to
be like, yeah, we can keep talking and stuff. But
he didn't want to like, you know, lead string me
along or lead me on or anything, being like let's
keep talking and then what if he disappears because of
(28:41):
life or like he just meets somebody new, which is fair.
I can't blame him because I would be kind of
hurt if he did that. I would be hurt if
we were talking and then all of a sudden he disappeared.
So so it was one of those things where he
was like, I just want to be upfront with you
and like, you know, like I like you and everything.
I just you know, it's probably better if we just
(29:02):
end things here, and he's like, I'm not saying that
I never want to talk to you and never want
to see you again, but like it's just one of
those things where it's like if I ever wanted to
reach out to him, I could. I don't have a
desire to reach out to him like that, but if
I went back to London, possibly I would reach out
to him. But you know, life, you know, people change
(29:23):
and stuff like that, So who knows.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Do you wish she would have told you this before
y'all had sex or doesn't matter, No, it didn't really matter.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
I think it was very much Again, it was very
much like a whirlwind. I wasn't really thinking about that.
I just oh, I'm in London. I just want to
have fun, And like all I thought was really gonna
happen was I was going to meet some guy. I
thought I was gonna go on bumble apps. I mean
bumble apps. I'll go on the bumble app and.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Like you app, baby, I.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Don't love an app, but like it was one of
those things where I'm in a new city and like
you want to meet people. I want to meet people.
So it was like an option. But that's why I
also did activities outside of that. I wasn't just like
relying on the app. But then I met this guy
and I didn't expect to meet this person. So I
was just kind of like, okay, like I wasn't expecting
to meet this person. I didn't have a plan that
(30:12):
I was going to lose my virginity. But you know,
as time went on and we were getting so uh
in you know this, because right, it just kind of
was very easy. So from that I was kind of
just like, you know what, like I guess this is happening.
And then like I'm sure. I mean, it wasn't in
his cards either. It's not like he was just going
around like having sex with people. I mean, I don't
(30:34):
know his life, but I would say that like, it wasn't.
He didn't give me that impression. It was very much
like we just ended up being in the situation that connecting.
So yeah, so it was just I don't know, I
wasn't expecting it and it just kind of happened.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
And yeah, So how did this experience affect your perception
of yourself and your sexuality? Do you feel more confident?
Do you look at yourself differently? Because I know in
the last conversation we had, we spoke a lot about
confidence and like, you know, insecurities and stuff. So has
that changed or.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
I mean, I don't I still feel the same way
about sex. I don't. I'm not. I'm not, you know,
after so long I'm not having sex. I'm not. I'm
still going to be the same person. It's not like, Okay,
all of a sudden I had sex once, it means
I'm just gonna drop my paintings for any man that's
is slow to me, Like, it's still gonna be the
same situation where I'm like still vetting making sure because
(31:35):
like I just know myself, like I need to be
connected to the person. I need to be like okay,
like there's a promise of something or like I feel
like we're connected or stuff like that. Just couldn't. It's
just not in me to dec have sex with whomever.
I mean, maybe it would be easier if it was,
(31:55):
but honestly, this is not who I am. I just
know what I am. No, I just think people like
I'm not saying that you but I'm saying that. You know,
people will ask me. I'd have this question asked like, oh,
like do you think now you're going to have sex
a lot?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
And I'm like, no, well, no, I ask you about
your confidence, like do you feel more confident in yourself? Like,
because I know in the past it's been situations when
you really like someone or you like several people and
you know a lot of people just treated you wrong
and your feelings got hurt. So have this situation like
because I feel like this was a really great experience
regardless of how an outcome happened, because I feel like
(32:30):
if you would have been in London, y'all would have
still been kicking it.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Okay, I mean, I see what you're saying. I would
how to answer this question. I would say that when
I after I I would say, after I had sex
with this person, and like you know, I came back home.
I was kind of just like, hmm, I don't feel
like there's like this pressure to put on myself to
(32:54):
like meet this like by by person, by tomorrow. I
think my issue from not having wanting to have sex.
I was like, oh, there's no one that wants to
have sex with me, and like all these I used
to feel really negative. This is like way in the past,
like before I really properly started loving myself, which is
something I'm always working on.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
But like we all are even Yeah, I know you
think I'm Beyonce, but I have insecurity systems Okay, but no, no,
it's really true, like we all are working on ourselves
and like just on the journey of self love, like
it's never ending.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
It's never ending. And I think in the past, like
you know, when I was like twenty six, twenty seven,
and like, especially during the pandemic, I was like, what
is me? No one's going to love me, Like I
don't know if I'm ever going to meet that person
because you know, sex is so much, it's so porelated
in a romantic relationship and like, yeah, self work.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Like you have to have a brand to be considered desirable.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah yeah, And it's like I never had that. I
never I never had that full connection. I thought there
was always something wrong with me, right, And I felt
like when I met this person, he just I mean
I think when i'm I think I built the confidence
level and like the just like the positiveness, positiveness in
(34:10):
myself and all the self love that I gathered over
the years. Like it wasn't just about the sex that
gave me the confidence. It was about how I be self.
I had so much self love for myself and appreciate
for myself. That's one reason why that it worked the
way that it did.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Like that made me happy. I'm so happy because if
you listen to the last episode, you really like you
can tell like you can hear a difference, but I
can see a difference. Like so that's really dope because
I really didn't want you having sex with these colonizes
shall and they in open relationships, and like because your
first time, like even though you did it on your terms,
(34:47):
like I would ratter you lose your or I would
write anybody lose their virginy to somebody that makes them comfortable,
that makes them feel seen, even if it's for a minute,
Like you just always want to be protected in such
an intimate space.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yeah, yeah, but I mean the only again, the only
reason I worked out is because, like I I literally
was like, you never know how I when we first
started talking, I was like, damn, he's cute. Like I
was like, I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
You probably is dating somebody. And then the more we
spent time talking together each other, I was like, you
know what, like let me put that in the patht
like I'm not gonna think too much about this. We're
just having a conversation, like I know what I'm worth,
Like I'm here on a trip. I'm just gonna have fun.
Like I wasn't, I wasn't being so down at myself.
I was just really just coming in with positivity and
that self love that I've gathered for the past years.
(35:33):
I was like, you know what, let's just go with
the flow. And then from that that confidence of making
conversation with him and like really much like oh, what
do you do for work? Like what's this? Like da
da da da, like having all these conversations with him.
That's the only reason why we ended up like hanging
out and doing all these things, because I think he
just felt that energy of me just being like, I
don't We're just having fun, Like it's not a big deal,
(35:54):
We're just having conversation. And I don't think that would
have happened if I just like was so negative and like, oh,
I don't know, I don't know if he likes me,
like stuff like that ever would have happened if it
was like that. Yeah, exactly, So I definitely, I definitely
it wasn't. Yeah. The sex really, it definitely. It definitely
(36:17):
showed me something afterwards where I was just kind of like, Okay,
after all these years of not having sex and I
finally met this person and then had sex and it
was it was It was great. It was like a
beautiful like thing. I don't every moment of it. I
still remember it was perfect, Like even the day after
it was really nice. I don't know everything that I
(36:40):
would have wanted for a first time. He really did
give me and more than I thought. And after that,
I was like, you know what, I know what I'm worth.
And I literally attracted this person who gave me all
these things that I would like in a relationship and
I'm just or just in like a sexual situation that
I'm like, I don't want less than this, and I
(37:01):
think like I was like, oh, like if I never
had before, I was like, oh, if I don't have sex,
like if I ever gonna find somebody that wants to
be with me, like and stuff like that. But now
that I had sex, I'm just kind of like, oh, well,
now I know I can be I'm I'm gonna be
more selective of knowing what I want. It definitely helps
with that mindset being like okay, like I don't need
(37:23):
this person like I already had sex, like right, but
forcing myself, I could be like, oh I like this
person because so and so, like I don't have to
think so much about the sex aspect. And I think
that was such a woombing presence.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Over so much pressure on you.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
It puts so much pressure I would be going on
dates and I'm like, oh, the sex thing is gonna
come up. It's gonna come up at some point. I'm like,
do I really want to have sex with this person?
I'm like cool, but like I don't have that like
big spark with him. And that's basically most of my
situations I felt like in the past ended up being.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
But yeah, yeah, So have your attitudes or feelings towards
sex and timacy involved or is it pretty much the same?
Speaker 2 (38:04):
That's the same. I think I've mentioned this before. I
would say that, like, I don't know, I feel pretty
much the same about sex. Like I'm I'm still like
i am not like wary or anything, but I'm just
selective about who I have sex with.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, as you should, because yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
I just know some people, you know, like they you know,
trying to open up their sexual awakening and like they're
doing all these different new things and that's fine. I
just don't have the mental capacity to have I just
need I know from my person I know for me,
like I'm pretty much like, I just know, I've always
known how I am as a person from like dable ones.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I mean, you're an aquarius, so ye me, some you
aquarian women like I don't care how much we try,
like because I dated and I did my thing. But
every Aquarium woman that I know is a relationship type
of girl. She is a lover girl. She want to
be kept like, she want to get right beside her. Like, listen,
(39:09):
we got some celebrities that are Aquarius, and I just
be like, yo, I know it's all camp because all
Aquarian women, especially February Aquarius, we're all the same.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yeah, that's just what a relationship just. I just can't.
I can't do the whole like being with different type
of people. It's just too much for me. I'm just like,
I just need the one person and I'm good. I
don't need multiple I'm fine. So yeah, that that never
really changed that after the whole sex thing, it didn't
really change for me.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
But I will say that definitely date and get to
know different types of people, because I think that's the
best way that you can get to know yourself both
you know, sexually, mentally, Like different people bring out different things.
So as long as you have safe I would say,
have fun.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Yeah, No, for sure, for sure. I I'm definitely learning that,
especially you know dating that dating new people now, Okay, people.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Okay, are you looking for your next prospect?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Okay, that is that the same your new CrossFit presp Oh,
I need to CrossFit, like I like go workout. I
mean there there is one person and he's.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Cool with the twin bit.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
Wow, he is good. He is nice, and he's good
to me, and he cheats with the respect that I deserve.
And that's the only thing I could ask for him.
I don't like him.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
I like him, but okay I do.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
This is a whole different conversation. I know, I know
what I like, and I know that he's giving me
the things that I would like, and I I very
much like realize that like me putting this other guy
on a pedestal, this London guy, someone that I really know.
(41:18):
It was very much like clouding, like how I see
this person that I'm with now and I'm just like,
I'm comparing them so much and it's not fair to
compare because no man is the same. And also I'm
comparing him to someone I had my first time with,
someone that was like so special to me that it's
like it was very much like, oh do I like
this person? I was like, I kept going back and
forth and I'm like I can't keep going back and
(41:40):
forth about someone if I like them, I.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Like them, right, I mean, but that's also natural too though,
because that's just the only person you can compare him to.
So I think that in life, when it comes to
sexual partners, you're going to be like, oh, I wish
he didn't like this person or I wish he had that.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Yeah, and that's another new thing that I'm learning with like,
you know, going meaning different partners like this the first
person I met after having sex for the first time.
So I'm always going to be comparing like this person
to the person I had sex with previously, because like
that was what I that's what I'm accustomed to, that's
what you know, that's what I know. So, like that's
(42:15):
the whole thing you were just saying, like you should
find out, you know, date other people to see what
you like. And currently that's what I'm doing. And it's
been it's nice to like have this other way I
think other person to be like, Okay, like I like
this or I don't like this, and I can say,
like what I like to this person because you know,
(42:35):
I was with the other person previously. So yeah, it's
been it's been good.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
Yeah, I can't wait for you to have sex with
a black man. Oh, with a black man.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
I'm just saying, I'm just I'm just saying a well
(43:17):
in doubt black man, like.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I can't wait to hear that stuff.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I don't know I mean that, guess. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Sure, Well I'm super happy for you. I'm so like
I said, I can besides the whole sex part and
you losing your virginity on your own terms, I really
do see a difference with how you like treat yourself,
how you speak over yourself, and I'm happy that you
are in a great space when it comes to yourself love.
So kudos to you. Sis.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Yeah I did it without therapy, which I missed therapy,
but it was a struggle to get here.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean I'm pretty sure you guys
some type of tools from therapy that helped you or
did you not you didn't like your therapist?
Speaker 2 (44:06):
No, I loved my therapist. I miss her. I wish
she could still be in my life, but I wouldn't
say I didn't. I feel like with therapy and not
saying therapy is a bad thing, Like, I do appreciate
that that were getting to a therapy conversation. But I
would say like with therapy, especially with my therapist, I
felt like I was which I think this is what
their purpose is. I felt like I was just mirroring
(44:27):
myself or at the end of the day, I would
just be talking and talking and talking, and then I
was solving my own problems because at the end of
the day, we all know what we're supposed to be
doing and we're gonna do it anyway. The therapist is
there just to like try to guide you to it,
guide you to it, but also.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
The vie tools and resources to help you.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Along that journey. I am not a doing therapy at all.
I just think that I was doing most of that.
And I felt like not saying that I don't need therapy,
because everybody needs therapy, aways need somebody. But I felt
like I've been using the tools of like a positive
mindset and like guiding myself because of the tools, Like
(45:11):
you know, I feel like not saying I felt like
I was doing most of the labor, that most of
the work.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
So in other words, why to hell, I'm paying you
and I'm doing most of the work.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Yeah, I felt like I was doing Like I felt
like you know she was very helpful, so sweet, but
I felt like at the end of the day, she
wasn't They can't tell you what to do. You have
to Oh, now I'm talking myself and I'm overthinker by trade,
so like I'm talking myself, giving myself every single scenario
and by the time I'm talking to her, she's like,
that's right, and I'm like, so what the hell I'm
(45:45):
I'm literally doing all this.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
Work now that I think about it, I also feel like,
but I don't know my therapist. She's fucking amazing, Like
I haven't into her in a while, because I mean
I used to go to her like every other week
and I've been going to herd for like over five years.
So I did the work. But I used to feel
like that too, Like she used to definitely like guide me.
(46:07):
But I also feel like she was like an older
big because she's an older woman, so she'd be like
a big sister me and girl. She used to tell
me like how she tell me how it is, like
she's talking to me crazy.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
I used to be like, I feel like I did
I want someone like that, But I guess, like, you know,
I get the point of therapy. You're not supposed to
tell you what to do because you're supposed to make
up your own mind yourself, Like, no one can change
your perspective besides you. But anyway, she was great. I'm
just saying at the end of the day, like I
very much, uh walked myself through a lot of different
(46:38):
scenarios and that's how I got here. Yeah, but yeah,
do you have any other if you questions for me?
Speaker 1 (46:47):
No, that's pretty good. I mean you got you got
somewhere to go. Wait, did you play your mom?
Speaker 2 (46:54):
I did?
Speaker 1 (46:55):
I did? What did your mom say?
Speaker 2 (46:59):
She's I literally was like I just told your at random.
I was like, oh, I didn't I told you that
I lost my virginity, right, And then she was like.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
No, you didn't tell her. Yea, kids, I can't wait
to have a cap like you know, you didn't fucking
tell me that you lost your virginity to stop playing?
Like no.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
And then because I because we kept talking about the guy.
She knew about the guy because as soon as I
got to London, She's like, oh, yeah, yourself a little
white boy, Like oh my god. I was like I
was like, I mean I just saw him, like whatever.
And then three moments that they'll try to call me,
but I was like out with him or whatnot, So
they knew about him. And then when I got home,
(47:40):
they were like, so, so what's going on. You're gonna
be with him? And I was like no. So then
eventually I was like, oh, so I told you, and
then she's like, no, you didn't. And then I was
like yep, and then I was like and I literally
looked at her. I literally said to her, I was like, mommy,
I'm twenty nine years old, Like do you swept me
to You're the one that wants me to get married
to a nice man one day? How do you expect
(48:00):
me to do all these things? I was like, I
don't understand what you expected to just come by a stork?
You know that's not true, Like, you know, I have
to have sex, you have two children, you know how
it works. So like I'm just like, I don't know what.
She was like, okay, okay, so how was it? And
I was like it was good. I was like he
was very nice, respectful, and she's like okay, okay, and
(48:21):
I was like, already got tested. That was another thing
that was what was it?
Speaker 1 (48:27):
No, it's good. Listen get tested. No for sure, Like
I just I just made that laugh because I know
you overthink, because that's what Quarius do.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
No, because when I got back, I got I I
thought I had an s CD. It was a yeast infection.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
But did you pee after you came?
Speaker 3 (48:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (48:47):
I did.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
No. I always made sure because I was told to
do that, like that made sure you're pee after you
have to pee. So I did. And then it was
more so the friction that it wasn't like the peeing.
It was the friction I think because when I had
period sex, we didn't use it.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Don't have listen, have period six with your man? Like,
come on, now, what we have? I periods six for everybody?
What do you mean don't have periods X for everybody?
Speaker 2 (49:19):
No, I'm not. I'm saying that we didn't have. But
we didn't use lubricant for that one.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
So I can irritate you.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
No, it's very ny. It's very much irritated me. When
I got back, I thought something was wrong, so I
was like, oh God, oh God. I was like, I
hope nothing happened. And then I got tested and it
turned out to be a YaST infection.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
It's supposed to come out, not in and out.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
It was bad. I thought something that because I've never
had that before. So I was like, I was like,
oh god, oh god, right, and then it just ended
up being a used infection. So yeah, but anyway, that
that's why I got tested. Anyway, that's the reason why
I got tested. But it turns out I need to
figure out a better way to get tested because I
ended up spending like almost close to two hundred dollars
(50:01):
for my doctor.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
You ain't gotta share it, I no, I do.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
That's why I was like, what the hell? I was like,
why would I get I don't know why I was
charged that amount, to be honest, but getting tested no cost,
don't cost nothing. Really, I don't know why they charged
me that much. I'm gonna have to look into my
insurance at some point. But it was very confusing. I
was like, why did I get charged in amount?
Speaker 1 (50:25):
And what they test you for?
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Like all the disease they test me for, like the
main STDs HPV I think was also included. And then yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
Here's a little fun fact. When it comes to herpes,
you have to request to get tested for it because
herpes is no longer considered an STD is considered a
skin infection, so that's why they don't test it. I mean, listen, infection.
I mean because technically everybody has herpes. There's different types
(50:57):
of herpees exactly. So some people have this string that
just causes colde source and that some people have the
string that causes the STD. So you have to get
tested for that, but you have to ask for that because,
like I said, yeah, they consider their skin infection interesting.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Yeah, I mean I feel like most people have it.
I just think some people it doesn't activate in others,
right as people, right, because I'm like, at this point,
it could be from skin to skin contact. I'm sure,
and most people have that.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
At this point, right, No, seriously, Like it's like a
lot of people don't know that. Like a lot of
people think that they get tested for everything, and you
get tested for everything except for that.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
So it's wild. I don't even think they tested you
for HIV.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
No, I think they. I think they do. I think
they asked you for it. But I also feel like
HIV is so common now, so like yeah, compared to
how it used to be back in the day, Like
HIV used to be very taboo, very like oh my god,
but I think now, I mean, and also people were
dying off of it because they didn't have a cure
and they didn't know what it was. And people also
thought that it was a gay disease. But anybody can
(52:05):
have HIV and if you take your medicine, you good
to go.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
So, but I think this wasn't amazing, not us educating
telling my STDs right after therapy child like who are we?
We are not not the faulcy. Okay, I did not
know that at all? Right, Okay, do you have any
(52:32):
questions for me before we leave?
Speaker 2 (52:35):
Yes, I was gonna ask you for you, like, when
you're sucking, if you were to suck dick, do you feel.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Well if you were trying to be all politically correct
if you work, No, bitch, I suck dick. We all
suck dick.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
Ship it. Okay, I'm saying, are you really afraid of
like getting an STD from doing it?
Speaker 1 (52:59):
I mean, I think that as you get comfortable with
having sex, because you're just starting, because I remember when
I first had sex, I was very like, oh my God,
like this and that because he was the only one
that I was having sex with, and even though he
was my boyfriend, I later found out that he was
cheating on me, so I think that I mean, yeah,
but it was kids, Like I mean.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
My friend, right, it was your first love.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
I know he was my first love for sure. Like
I look like I have no regrets, like when I
tell you it was like a movie, like it was perfect.
But I don't really get I don't really have any
concerns or anything, because I just don't suck everybody dick.
I don't think that everybody should be able. I don't
think that you should give that to everybody. And if
you do right, and if you do, that's completely fine,
(53:43):
that's not my back. Like I just feel like, you know,
sucking dick is very intimate for me.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
So then he said that to people, I'm like, that's
such a vulnerable thing to do, Like I don't know
how clean you are right for me, I just don't know, like,
you know, I just feel like it is I'm putting
my mind.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
But I also feel like that's a and not to
no shade, no tea, Like if that's what you do
on the record, and that's completely fine, But I just
feel like for me, like, but I'm also a relationship
type of girl. So if I'm sucking dick. You my man,
you know what I'm saying, because I'm not self condom dick,
so I need skin dick. So I definitely feel like
as you no, cause you know, I'm pretty sure you
(54:23):
in your the beginning you suck. You did condom dick,
which is completely fine. But I think that right, I
think that once you build that trust with somebody and
then like I'm really big on getting tested because once
I'm in a relationship and it's me and you and
we get tested, like I want to feel you. So
I think that over time, you'll get more comfortable with that.
(54:44):
But I don't think there's anything wrong with that, Like
everybody shouldn't get that. That's something that's like an added
bonus exactly.
Speaker 2 (54:51):
It's supposed to be a treat, like I've given you
an extra treat.
Speaker 1 (54:54):
Yeah, Like my pussy is enough, nigga, make it work.
Speaker 2 (54:59):
I literally told the person i'm with now, I was
like listen. I was like, I'm not going it's not
like I'm never going to do this, but like it's
just one of those things that I'm not doing to you.
Speaker 1 (55:10):
But don't be boring.
Speaker 2 (55:11):
Now I'm boring. I am. I am nothing but boring.
He is well satisfied.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
Oh yeah, I had sex. No, whoa, this is already
on two? Come on, I said, no, okay, I feel
like you're lying.
Speaker 2 (55:33):
I didn't have texted them. I we he's he is
fine with the things I have done.
Speaker 1 (55:41):
So what you do if you have sex and you
ain't sucking dick?
Speaker 2 (55:46):
He is? He's okay, you the guy. Okay, so I'm
not sucking and I'm also not having text to them,
So you immedately say that.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
I mean, it's only so much you gonna do with
a man like you checking him off at this age.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
Okay, but no, what are you?
Speaker 1 (56:12):
I'm really curious? What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (56:16):
Stop for the podcast?
Speaker 1 (56:18):
All right, she's gonna tell me off there, and I'm
gonna come back y'all and tell y'all what she doing.
Let me keep my listeners out of the tea. Do
you have any more questions or anything? Oh my Joe, Okay,
you know, maybe you can watch some porn from inspiration,
but also you have to be mindful when it comes
(56:39):
to porn. Porn is porn.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
It's not real, and most of them get all of
them have to be tested.
Speaker 1 (56:47):
Oh yeah, I mean yeah, that's a job, of course.
But yeah, porn is not real for sure. I mean
some porn is real, but for the most part. Yeah,
but I think this was an amazing conversation. I think
that one thing that we can take for this is
just make sure you do things on your own terms.
So I am super happy for you and to the listeners.
If you have any questions, comments of concerns, please make
(57:08):
sure to email me at Hello at thepgpodcast dot com.
Please make sure to follow me on Instagram and at
YouTube at the Professional Homegirl. And last but not least,
please don't forget to read my love letters at dayalldone
dot com. Until next time, everyone later, say bye, oh bye.
(57:35):
The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black
Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and break the show,
and you can connect with me on social media at
the PG podcast
Host
Eboné Almon
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