Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yes, Yes, I am Bramos and this is the Street
Stoic Podcast, bringing your daily dose of timeless stoic philosophy
remix for the hip hop generation. Now, with that in mind,
let's get things started with your daily shot of inspiration.
(00:36):
And today we're talking all about the idea of diminishing
your ego and just letting it go. Man, just being
unattached and letting a situation be what it is. And
a song that came to mind is from Fabulous is
Leaving You, and he says, but it was good while
it lasted, but when it's dead, let it go.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Put it in a cast.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
And man, if you are are somebody who's like stuck
on a person, right, this is probably resonating far, far
greater than it ever should.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Right, we got to just we just gotta let it,
let it go.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Right, people are showing us what they sort of think
of us, or what they want from us, or if
they're making us feel like an option, then.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
We just got to move on with our lives.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Right. But it's our damn ego that just keeps us
hanging on desperately, right, Like we often will be fighting
for things that no longer serve us or that we
don't even truly want, but we're just fighting for them
because our ego, it can't handle the fact that something
didn't end on our terms, or that it didn't go
according to our plan. And I've said this a million
(01:41):
one times on this show, but reality is life. Don't
give a damn about your plans at the end of
the day, right, And you being so attached to this
idea of what your life is supposed to look like,
this relationship that you were supposed to have with this person, right,
the way this job was supposed.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
To pan out.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
You having that kind of attachment to an outcome that
is completely out of your control is incredibly unhealthy and
is a way to kind of be fast tracked to
being incredibly unhappy.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Right. And this leads perfectly to a quote from one
of the stokes, Marcus.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Aurelius, where he says, receive without pride, let go without attachment.
That second part right there, let go without attachment Again,
your damn ego is making you stay in a situation
in a mindset that is no longer serving you.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I mean, how many times have you been sort of man,
we're talking about relationships. Let's be real about this.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I'm trying to sugarcoat it and not like give too
much of my own talking to like I'm talking to
myself right now and anybody else who can relate to this, Right,
you just gotta let it go. Sometimes you gotta let
that person go. You can't linger on about somebody's potential.
You gotta live in the reality at the end of
the day. Right, let go without attachment, As Marcus Aurelius says, right,
and obviously Kats have the bag. I relate to this
(02:59):
unincredibly person level, right, Like, there have been so many
times that I have complicated my life by refusing to
accept reality versus the idea that I had in my head.
And listen, that's happened with like jobs or careers. You know,
at times I would be applying for jobs just for
the sake of wanting to get the validation that I
could get them. Or I would accept a job offer,
(03:22):
or I stayed a particular job just again to get
that validation to be on my own terms, to prove
that I could do it right. And that just led
to then a weird sort of unhappy situation where I'm
working this gig that I hate and I feel guilty
because I accepted it and now I no longer want
to do it. But again, that's not what we're talking
about today. We're being very specific. This is about being
(03:42):
hung up on a particular person for whatever reason, right,
Like more recently than ever. You know, I'm back in
my single phase of life after being in relationship for
a long time, and I got to be honest, I've
found myself getting hung up on women that I know
are right for me. And literally it's my ego just
(04:05):
looking for a sense of closure or more than anything,
probably looking for control in this situation, right, And I
don't think either one of those is guaranteed in this life.
Not every single thing ends with a sense of closure
where you feel like you got everything you needed from it.
You had that conversation, the person gave you a reason
why they fell off the earth, or why they weren't
(04:26):
as invested as you. Right, it just doesn't always happen
that way. You're lucky if it does. But this is life.
This is dealing with other people. You can't control them.
You can't control life, right, It's just it is what
it is sometimes, And again, your ego is the one
hanging on for no good reason whatsoever. Because your ego
wants to be right, Your ego wants to be validated.
(04:47):
Your ego wants to be standing in the winner circle
at the end of the day. And that obsession with
winning in a situation that you have zero control over
it will lead you down a path towards hanging on
to or being involved in situations or situationships or relationships
whatever it might be, that are not serving you whatsoever.
(05:09):
It is our damn ego at the end of the day.
Now you've heard from Fabulous, you've heard from Marcus Aurelius.
I have also used you as my therapist for this episode.
Now with that said, let's talk about how you can
make it your mantra for today.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
But first we'll take a quick break and then we'll
be right back.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
All right, So today we are talking all about the
stoic idea of diminishing your ego, and we just got
down like a slippery road of talking about relationships situationships. Again,
you could apply this to your job that you hate,
whatever it might be. But we're talking about getting hung
up on the wrong person. And we've heard from Fabulous,
we have heard from one of the Stokes Marcus Aurelius,
I have used you as my venting post right now
(05:55):
for this episode. Now let's talk about how you can
make it your mantra for today and now. First and foremost,
it really begins with just letting go, right, letting go
of the storyline that you have in your head and
coming back down to reality. It is not about winning
or losing. It is not about proving that you are enough.
It's not about convincing someone to see things the way
(06:18):
that you see it, right. It's not about being the
one to end things or holding on to this idea
that you have of a person or a situation. You
can't control everything, no matter how much your ego tries to.
There are so many things out of your control, particularly
any situation involving another person.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You cannot control them. Right.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
You have to get comfortable with the idea of just
letting go, sometimes not being attached to the outcome, accepting
what is. And obviously it's easier said than done. And
we're talking about like relationships. There's feelings of all there's
time that is invested right, there's connections being made, and
it's difficult when you begin to sort of add somebody
(07:02):
to your life, They become a part of your daily routine,
and then you know they ghost you, or they begin
to act different, or they're just not giving you what
you need anymore. It's easy to kind of like lean
in harder and harder, right to try and get that
from that person. But again, you're not always going to
have that closure that you're looking for, right. You can't
(07:23):
allow the sort of narrative that you've made up in
your mind, because we're all guilty of it at times,
particularly when you meet somebody that you really like, like, oh, man,
is this the one? Am I gonna start a life
with this person? Am I gonna you know, get the
white pick of fence, the kids, the dog, whatever it
might be, right, the tesla or whatever the American dream
is these days. Right, And you sort of run away
planning out the next ten years of your life, and
(07:44):
you forget that you don't even know this person. You
still have to have to really get to know them.
You still have so many more steps to be taken
before you can even think about truly living that vision
of your life.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
And that's about being present.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
That's about not adding extra attachment to a situation that
is just not there. Yet and it is that extra attachment,
that storyline that we create, the fairy tale in our minds,
the sort of story that we begin to let our
mind run away with that is inevitably what begins to
add extra emotion to a situation that it just does.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Not call for.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
And to recap all we've been talking about, I think
fab is cold blood in the way that.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
He says this.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Right, he says, it was goat lasted, but when it's dead,
let it go, put it in a casket.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's over.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Right, He's saying, celebrate, be happy, enjoy the moments that
you had with this particular person, right, look back on
it fondly, but when.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It's over, accept it, move on.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Just like Marcus Aurelia says, let go without attachment, right
when it's time to let something go.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
It's normal to have feelings.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
There's normal to you know, maybe second guess yourself just
a bit, but you have to accept the fact that
your time in this particular situation with this particular person,
whatever it might be it now, is coming to a close.
Be okay with that. Understand that this is an inevitable
part of life. And I'm literally taking my own advice
I'm I'm speaking to myself right now and reminding myself,
(09:08):
do not let your damn ego get you into some
more messy situations that you know are are not what
you actually want, but instead you're just searching for some
sort of validation of knowing that you could have had
it right, reminding myself that it's okay to let go.
It's okay for things to not pan out the way
that I wanted them to. It's okay for somebody to
not be who I thought they were. I don't need
(09:29):
to fight for the idea of situations when reality is
showing me what it actually is. Live in reality, not
in the storyline fairy tale narrative that you have in
your head that your ego is trying to force to
happen right now. But that said, thank you so much
for checking out the Street Stoic. Do your best to
apply these concepts that we discussed into everyday life, and
I will catch you next time. The Street Stoke podcast
(09:57):
is a production of Iheart's Michael Dura Podcast Network.