Bob's Brief Retirement

This week we meet Bob. All Bob has ever wanted to be is retired.  

Retirement: the act of leaving one’s job and ceasing work. Forever. 

Yup, that’s been Bob’s ambition all along. And now he’s finally made it.  

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator, and author. We hear at the ten
Minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to

(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
This week we meet Bob. All Bob has ever wanted
to be is retired. Retirement, the act of leaving one's

(00:50):
job and ceasing work forever. Yep, that's been Bob's ambition
all along, and now he's finally made it. Bob's brief retirement.
Bob a palodrome for sure, started dreaming of retirement practically

(01:15):
on the first day he went to work. Rarely, for
over thirty five years did a workday pass wherein Bob
did not daydream about retirement. Bob backward and forward board
his coworkers to tears with his endless prattle about the
novels he would pen and the adventures he would seek.

(01:39):
The second he secured his retirement. Finally, the big day arrived,
his last day at the office, the staff threw him
a small party with Duncan coffee and donuts, a few balloons,
some short speeches about what a great guy Bob was
and how they all hoped retirement would be everything Bob

(02:02):
had dreamed about since his arrival. Soon after he graduated
from college, and that very evening, a lovely evening in
late May, with warm tempts and the sun still high
in the sky, Bob went to the garage and pulled
out his bicycle. It was time to go for a ride.

(02:24):
He pumped up the tires and oiled the chain. He
rode around the block a couple times and enjoyed the
feeling of freedom as the wind whistled past his years.
This is the life, Bob announced right out loud. This
is what it's all about. This is what I've been
waiting for all these years. The wind on my face

(02:45):
and the sweat on my brow. Later, out on the patio,
enjoying the sunset with his wife and a tequila sunrise,
Bob talked vigorously about riding his book across the country.
The journey would take a couple months at least, but
no problem. Bob had all the time in the world.

(03:08):
He'd been reading up on it, and the best way
was west to east, as often the wind would be
at his back. Maybe, suggested his wife, who had not
been looking forward to Bob's retirement, had as much as Bob.
Maybe just stick to the neighborhood for the time being.

(03:29):
Bob laughed and squeezed his wife's thigh. California to Jersey
or bust, honeypot, you can drive the sagwagon. I'm still teaching, Bob.
No problem, we'll do it after school lets out for
the summer. I can't wait, his wife muttered, but of
course Bob didn't hear, because Bob's hearing wasn't too sharp.

(03:54):
In the morning, after his wife shoves off for school,
Bob carries his extra large coffee mug into the small
makeshift office he built in the basement several years ago.
In anticipation of this moment, the dog follows him down
there to see what it's all about, but soon retreats

(04:16):
up to the big bay window in the living room,
where she can watch the neighbors coming and going. Bob
sets the giant mug on his desk and takes a seat.
He pulls himself up to his desk and opens his
brand new spiral bound notebook. No computers or word processing

(04:36):
for Bob. Now, he intends to write the first draft
of his novel the old fashion way with pen and paper.
Bob opens the notebook and writes the title on the
top line, may Day, and underneath the title the author's name,
Robert Allen Thompson. Bob knows the whole plot of the

(04:59):
book by heart. He has been devising the plot in
his head for years, along through protagonist and the antagonist,
the good guys and the bad guys, the red herrings,
and the clever twist at the end. It's an espionage thriller. Washington, DC, London,
Tel Aviv, istanbult Iran. Bob he can see the whole

(05:22):
story as clearly as a high blue February sky. But
oh boy, oh boy, that first sentence. Dang, this is
kind of tricky. Bob hadn't anticipated this. He thought those
sentences would just roll off his pen like marbles off
the table. Bob scribbles a few attempts, but even before

(05:47):
he has a sentence half finished, he crosses it out.
He makes several trips upstairs for more coffee and to
pet the dog, who mostly ignores him. As this is
her naptime, and she has no idea why he's even home.
Just before lunch, Bob settles on this as not only

(06:09):
his opening sentence, but his opening paragraph. What Jake had
to do was as clear and concise as the directions
on a package of frozen vegetables. Add peas to half
a cup of boiling water, reduce heat, simmer three minutes serve.

(06:30):
Bob thinks this is a very clever opening for his
world weary espionage novel. Now, if you can just come
up with another three or four hundred pages, he'll be
on his way to a second and far more rewarding
career as a best selling novelist. For lunch, Bob heats

(06:53):
some pea soup and makes a chicken sandwich on rye
from last night's leftovers, and then back in the basement,
after taking the dog for a walk around the block,
Bob crosses out the paragraph about the piece. He can't
begin to imagine why he ever even wrote that down.

(07:14):
An hour passes, another hour, more sentences get written and
crossed out, and finally, around four point fifteen, knowing his
wife will soon be home, Bob settles on this as
his opening sentence. Jake turned and fired. Happy with that

(07:34):
and wanting to get out of the house before his
wife arrives, Bob packs up for the day and heads
out on another bike ride. He goes around the block
and out past the high school and through the park,
where a bunch of kids are playing baseball. Bob rides
along and watches a kid hit a high, hard one
to center field out to deep center field. As he watches,

(07:59):
a frazzled mother of four, piloting an oft dented minivan
and running late for her son's Mighty mack lacrosse practice,
turns in the park parking lot. Bob doesn't see the
minivan because he's busy watching that high fly ball, and
he doesn't hear the minivan because well, because Bob's hearing

(08:21):
isn't too sharp. The frazzled mother of four doesn't see Bob.
She's half turned around yelling at her kids, demanding they
stop fighting. Bob watches that baseball race across that lovely
spring sky. It's the last thing Bob sees. The minivan

(08:41):
clobbers Bob knocks him off his bike. His ill fitting
helmet goes flying. Bob's head smashes into the asphalt and
that well, that's all, he wrote. Thanks for listening to

(09:06):
this original audio presentation of Bob's Brief Retirement narrated by
the author. If you enjoy today's story, please take a
few seconds to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast,
and then go to Thomas William Simpson dot com for
additional information about the author and to view his extensive canon.

(09:29):
The Ten Minute Storyteller is produced by Andrew Pliglisi and
Josh Kalani and as part of the Elvis Duran Podcast
Network in partnership with iHeart Productions. Until next time, this
is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller,