Sidewinder

This week we meet Baby Kane and his parents, Adam and Erin. Baby Kane is just about to escape from the back yard and crawl up onto the railroad tracks at the same moment the Union Pacific rolls west across the New Mexico desert. 

Will Baby Kane get splattered by the lead locomotive? If he manages to stay off the tracks, what about the venomous rattlesnake that’s just had its rattle severed by the fleeing caboose? Will that sidewinder nail Baby Kane if not the train? 

Mom and Dad are busy with their new biz, Land of Enchantment Adult Gifts and Novelties. They don’t know their boy’s in jeopardy. They don’t know what evils lurk. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten
Minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to

(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Many novels on steroids.
This week we meet Baby Kane and his parents. Baby

(00:46):
Kane is just about to escape from the backyard and
crawl up onto the railroad tracks. At the same moment,
the Union Pacific rolls west across the New Mexico Desert.
Will Baby Caane gets splattered by the lead locomotive if
he manages to stay off the tracks. What about the

(01:07):
venomous rattlesnake that's just had its rattle severed by the
fleeing caboose. Well, that sidewinder nail Baby Caine. If not
the train. Mom and dad Aaron and Adam are busy
with their new biz land of enchantment, adult gifts and novelties.

(01:28):
They don't know they're boys in jeopardy. They don't know
what evils lurk. Sidewinder Baby Caane turns a year old
later this afternoon. His parents, who love a good party,
have a big bash planned. But right now Baby Caine

(01:52):
has escaped his playpen in the backyard and is half
crawling and half walking stumbling to the fence at the
rear of the property. The fence should contain the rambunctious youngster,
though there is a gate hopefully latched but definitely not locked.

(02:12):
And then there's the good sized hole the hound dog
dog under the fence. A week or so ago, the
little bitch crawled straight through, spent the whole night howling,
and has been heard but not seen since. The hole
is still there, though in the hope of the hound
returning the same way she bolted, can Baby Cane fit

(02:38):
through that hole? Likely not, but well, probably best not
to find out. The thing is just beyond the backyard
fence runs the Union Pacific line that cuts a swath
through this part of south central New Mexico. The big

(02:59):
trains ron umble through here, often slowly, as the locomotives
might be pulling three or four hundred cars piled high
with coal, fertilizer, machine parts, cattle cars, and god knows
what else. A train whistle sounds in the distance, still

(03:19):
a ways off, but she's a coming. Not a thing
on God's green Earth can stop her. Mom she's upstairs
on a video call, and Dad, he's downstairs with a
couple of customers. They moved out here to the desert
a few months ago from San Francisco Mountain View, actually,

(03:41):
where Aaron worked for Apple and Adam for various startups.
They hated their jobs, the insanely long hours and hold
ruthless high tech corporate thing so serious and so stupid.
Now they run the Land of Enchantment, adult gifts and novelties.

(04:05):
Aaron does a lot of online sexcapades. She thinks it's
an absolute riot, the way lonely, horny, desperate men will
type in their master card numbers, expiration dates, and security
codes just to watch some milf who doesn't ever even
show her face, pinch her nipples and rub her crotch,

(04:30):
oh and moan. Aaron's always willing to give her paying
customers a high quality fake moan. Fifty bucks for the
first five minutes, ten bucks for every minute thereafter. Che
Chang Che Chang. Kind of like the aging, only more
profitable and far more amusing. Adam and Aaron always say,

(04:55):
if it's not amusing, dude, why bother? Now, Aaron, she
has built up a very nice clientele. She sees the
same master card numbers over and over. Adam runs the
retail end. He's laid out a nice assortment of dildo's,
strap onds and vibrators for the middle aged married couple

(05:17):
looking to spruce up their sex lives. Unlike many of
Adam's customers, whose squirmy discomfort can be seen, felt and
practically smelled, these two old pros are ready to roll.
They've already cruised through the porn video scene, the bondage game,

(05:39):
various toys and enhancements. Now well, now they just want good,
well made equipment to provide bigger, bolder, longer, more powerful orgasms.
And I really think, says Baby Kane's father, the way
to go here would be a pair of back door

(06:00):
lover anal plugs. Hmm, says the hobby, nodding anal plugs. Nice.
His bride gives a little shrug followed by a sly smile.
Adam takes a purple backdoor lover out of the cabinet
and sets it on the counter for their inspection. Now

(06:21):
both of you insert one of these puppies before copulation,
and I swear to God, if you don't both go
through the roof, I guarantee you a full refund. Like
his wife, Adam finds the whole sex toy biz quite
a frolic and what a dandy way to gain insight

(06:43):
into the species of which he counts himself a willing participant.
The mile long freight rolls across the desert, whistle wailing,
and moments later, the engineer of the lead locomotive spots
the Land of Enchantment Adult Gifts and Novelties sign on

(07:05):
the back of the shop. He also spots a kid
wearing nothing but pajama bottoms, playing in a scrubby yard
with its sandy soil and weedy grass. Plenty glad the
engineer is to see a chain link fence so that
youngster can't crawl up onto the damn railroad tracks. Twenty

(07:27):
two years he's been running these trains. He's hit his
share of Mexican wolves, mule deer, cottontails, and no end
of side winders, but never a human, never a kid.
Thank God, Hit a kid and kiss any serenity you
might have earned Adios. Where's your mama, boy, the engineer

(07:52):
shouts out the window as his mile long freight rolls west. Mama,
she's upstairs inserting a mile long string of wonderbeads into
her poon while emitting a very convincing or gasmic like
moan from her mouth chee ching che chan. While downstairs,

(08:16):
Dad raps a couple back door lovers, one pink and
one purple for his middle aged lovebirds. Busy investigating the
back room with its bondage gear and dancing poles, Baby
Kane reaches the back fence, pulls himself up, wraps his
wee fingers around the chain link. Chew Choo. He shouts

(08:39):
over the roar of the freight. Choo choo. They were
the kid's first words, even before Mama or Dada muttered
them soon after the family moved to the desert. Baby
Kane shakes the fence. Chew choo, Choo choo. Baby Cane crawls, walks,
stumbles over to the gate, gives it a shake. The

(09:02):
latch holds the Union Pacific picks up speed. Baby Kane
crawls to the hole. The hound dog dog crawls right
into the hole like a gopher. A couple seconds later,
he pops out the other side, sandy dirt on his face,
hands and train pajamas. Cheo choo, choo choo. Baby Kane

(09:25):
crawls across the desert and starts up the shallow embankment
that elevates the tracks. Back at the shop, in the
back room, the woman who just bought a rubbery plasticy
gizmo to shove up her butt in the hopes of
achieving a truly inspired orgasm after twenty six years humping

(09:47):
the same pound of flesh, looks out the window and,
oh my god, sees a little kid crawling up the
railroad embankment. Her shriek brings Baby Kane's father running. He
looks out the window and freaks for the love of Christ,
and then Aaron, what the hell are you doing up there?
Caine's on the tracks, well, not quite on the tracks,

(10:12):
not yet, but close. Adam and Erin crash through the
back door of the Land of Enchantment adult toys and
novelties and sprint across that scabby lawn like a couple
athletes vying to make the Olympic Track and Field team.
Erin barely has any clothes on, but no one right

(10:35):
now really wants to talk about her bouncing boobs or
the equipment hanging out of her lower orifices. The caboose
rolls west, its steel wheels, missing Baby Cane by mere inches.
Choo choo. He screams, giddy with this close encounter with

(10:56):
the Union Pacific Mom and Dad exploding sweat pouring off
their brows and out of their pits reach the fence. Cain, Cain,
my god, baby, what are you doing? Baby Kane ignores them.
Something new has his interest, something lying on the tracks

(11:16):
just a few feet away. It's a desert sidewinder's rattle,
recently severed from the sidewinder's body by the steel wheels
of that fleeing caboose. Baby Kane loves rattles. He reaches
out to grab it, and just as he does, that
desert sidewinder, ticked off at the loss of its body part,

(11:41):
coils and prepares to strike with a lightning speed. The small,
venomous rattlesnake unleashes its fury on the thing about to
touch its lost tail. Adam and Aaron through the gate
and halfway up the embankment, scream bloody murder, but the
serpent equilibrium askew without its rattle, misses its mark, slides

(12:07):
awkwardly off the embankment and slithers back into the desert.
Aaron scoops up Baby Kane and presses him against her
bare breast. Adam throws his arms around his family and
pulls them close and tonight. After the party, they engage

(12:29):
in some very lustful passion and lo and behold conceive
baby Kane's little brother, Abel Paradise restored. Hey, thanks for

(12:51):
listening to this original audio presentation of Sidewinder, narrated by
the author. If you and joy today's story, please take
a few seconds to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast,
and then go to Thomas William Simpson dot com for

(13:12):
additional information about the author and to view his extensive canon.
The Ten Minute Storyteller is produced by Andrew Plaglici and
Josh Colottney and as part of the Elvis Duran Podcast
Network in partnership with iHeart Productions. Until next time, this

(13:33):
is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller.