“I WAS BANNED FROM ROBLOX”

A caller explains how she was banned from Roblox at the age of 31, I try to convince an Australian man to call a lawyer instead of me, and a final caller lobotomizes too many mice.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi.

Speaker 2 (00:00):
What's your name?

Speaker 3 (00:01):
Uh, my name is Collette.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Collette collect. You texted me and you said, I'm a
thirty one year old woman who just got banned on Roadblocks?

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Sure did? Sure did?

Speaker 2 (00:15):
So tell me about that. How did you get banned
on Roadblocks?

Speaker 3 (00:21):
I guess I've just been playing a lot because I
have a little brother, he's like, you know, fourteen, We've
been playing for years or whatever. But also it keeps
you out of trouble roadblocks does. But yeah, I just
moved to Atlanta and from Texas, and I'd just been
kind of in my head a lot, and so I've
been like just playing by myself. But I got this

(00:44):
new game on there. It was this like it was
supposed to be so chill. It was like a like
a treehouse tycoon, and basically all you got to do is,
you know, say, like get all these honeybees, you collect them,
you you know, you build your treehouse. But then also
everybody comes in and like murders you and stuff, and

(01:06):
you're like, I'm like, I don't understand why there's murdering
this game. There's like chill jazz music, there's bird sounds.
I really don't understand what this game is and why
everyone was treating it like a GTA server. But there
was these children and they rolled up that I couldn't
collect my honey. They parked their little car. They kept
on murdering me over and over again, and it just

(01:26):
really sent me because like I was really excited to
play this little game, and I just called them Brady
virgins and then well I tried to report them because
they were being very mean to me on the on
the chat, I did not appreciate it. And they don't
know what I'm going through. They don't know who they're
talking to. But yeah, I did tell them that I'm

(01:49):
sorry their parents are divorced, and I do regret that
because their parents are probably most definitely divorced.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
What okay, why do you assume that their parents are divorced?

Speaker 3 (02:02):
I mean just because of you know, the ratios. You know,
you can look at any like you know census.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Okay, okay, yeah, sure, yeah, sure, there's a there's a
fifty percent chance that that they're right. How old How
old do you think these kids are? These are like squeakers,
These were like thirteen year olds.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
They're probably they're probably yeah, they're probably like the same
as in my little brother. It's probably like fourteen or something.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
I mean, they probably should they probably should be virgins.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
I mean, no, they should, I shouldn't. I I regret that.
I guess. It's just like, you know, like, what's your
I guess. I mean, I'm not really upset that they
are that they're virgins. That's not really it was. It
was just that like, obviously you haven't been through anything.
You're just a stupid virgin, which is really mean to
a lot of adult virgins. I get it, I understand.

(02:52):
I was They're they're reorganizing that. I'm going crazy right now.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
They're life virsion, they're life virgins, their life.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Their life virgin.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
Yes exactly, you know, uh yeah, yeah. I mean getting
into heated arguments with fourteen year olds on roadblocks is
probably crazy. It I you would feel irresponsible for me,

(03:21):
it is.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yeah, it's a little crazy. It's a little crazy. It's
undeniably a little crazy. But I'm let's talk.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
I pull my little brother. What happened in all these
textan me was wow, And I was like, okay, now
I know that. I'm like I'm like losing it a
little bit, you.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Know, Okay, why do you why do you think you're uh,
why do you think you're losing it?

Speaker 3 (03:43):
Well, okay, I just moved here. I was in Austin,
Texas doing like a weird family thing for a while.
I've been I've moved all around the country. But yeah,
I was only in Texas for a couple of years
because like my grandma and my mom wanted to like

(04:04):
hang out with me a little bit. I haven't really
lived around them for like over a decade, and that
was really really stressful. I have like very conservative, uh grandparents.
I mean, just like everybody else. It's a little bit
different though, when like you're mixed and like your white
family is like really really racist in like every possible way.

(04:28):
Pretty much, Like, yeah, the only person I kind of
like that I'm related to is my mom. But anyway,
that's a really really long story. You know, I'm really
okay like not talking about that, but yeah, it was
a lot. My grandma like started hospice while I was there,
and they were just like incredibly hard to please people
you kind of have to perform at all times. And

(04:50):
then also I like they kicked me out because I
asked them to stop talking about Trump with me. And
then so I had to like live with like this
really crazy girl and and she was a lot And
then I was also dating like of, you know, a
comedian who was like a severe alcoholic. It was just
like a lot of you know, stuff that didn't have
to do with me, which I'm usually pretty good at.

(05:12):
But I'm realizing that this is like the first time.
I've been wanting to get to Atlanta for a really
long time because I feel like all my hopes and
dreams and like a lot of like family that I
would like to get to now lives here. And I
just want to make movies and I want to make TV,
and like I've been working in production a long time,

(05:33):
and like I just want to like I've just been
wanting to come here and feel comfortable in my own
skin and just to have a lovely time. But now
that I'm here, it's like the self like I'm like
actually having to like be the person that I was
imagining being. And then I'm also realizing, you know that
that's the anxiety is like that part is like I'm like, oh,

(05:55):
this is like you you think about something for too
long and then like you're like, oh, this is It's
still me, I'm not like a different person. Yeah, and
so it's like still have to do all of those things,
like be a different person.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
And now I'm just like cursing kids out on roadblocks.
I mean that's crazy. I'm like I could be outside
right now, it's like gorgeous out. I could be like
meeting people, but I have a really I'm like so
good at meeting people that are like terrible for me.
So like I'm really terrified about like making new connections.

(06:29):
That's also I think, really what it is is that
I don't trust myself to like actually surround myself with
people that are like good for me. I think that's
really what it is too. Also, I just like don't
know where to start at this point.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
You said so many things just now that pequked my interest. Okay, Okay,
I want to I'm trying to hold on to all
of them. Okay, one you said was first of all, Okay,
I'm sorry if I got I'm trying to get your
timeline correct because you because you said something, because you
threw a bunch of stuff out about like okay, your
family kicked you know, bad relationship with the family and

(07:06):
the alcoholic comedian and all this is that, this is
all before you moved to Atlanta.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah, this was all before I moved to Atlanta. This
was like the first place I've ever lived with like,
that's just for me.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
And then then you've.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
Done things for family and other people, and like, this
is the first time I've ever done something that's like
just me.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
And then when did you move to Atlanta?

Speaker 3 (07:30):
Like a month ago?

Speaker 2 (07:31):
And you're living with your little brother.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
No, I'm not living with my little brother. My little
brother lives pretty close. He lives in Jacksonville, Florida.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
Okay, but do you live with yeah, like, are you
living with family by yourself?

Speaker 3 (07:46):
No? I live completely by myself and I don't have
like close family, like the family I have here. Oh shit,
my cat, Hi, are you ready to come in Jesus,
you've been gone for so long? But yeah, she it's
just me and my cat and my snake that I'm
hiding from the leasing office. But yeah, the family I

(08:08):
have here, they're like I haven't seen them since I
was like, you know, ten or something.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
You know, And you said that you mainly came down
there to uh, well, you said you came down there
for a lot of reasons. But you one of the
reasons you said you came down there was because you
wanted to get closer to them.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Right, Yeah, I've got like my I've got like a
lot of my my dad's side of the family in Savannah.
So yeah, I've already like went and saw my grandma,
who's like great. She like has always like smoked like
two packs of Marbs a day, and like she like
drives trucks and like she's really mean, but she like
puts all of her heart and soul into like the

(08:44):
food she makes. Like she's like so classic. She look
a really nice lady.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Cool. How old is she she? I'm curious.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Oh my god, she had my dad. Like my whole
family's just babies. My dad was like she had my
dad when she was fourteen. Wow, she got real on life. Yeah,
real unlucky. It was the guy she like lost her
virginity too, and he's like a real schmuck. Like he's
like a bad guy, but yeah he's crazy. And then yeah,
my dad and my mom had me. My mom her

(09:14):
parent her mom had her when she was nineteen and
then they pretty much did the same thing. They were
like twenty when they had me.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Okay, so I was imagined when you said your grandma,
I was imagining like kind of an old lady, but
she's younger.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
Uh well I have yeah, like the one that's on
hospice in Texas. That's my mom's mom. And yeah, she's young,
but she's just like I mean, like her last name
is like Dangler. She like comes from like real poor,
like like her dad was like a huge drunk who
like spent all of their milk money like on alcohol

(09:46):
and gambling. So like all of her teeth fell out
by the time she was like thirty.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Just crazy, all.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right, So I mean back to you are the other thing?
The thing, Yeah, back to you, you know, because I'm sure
that we could get it. I'm sure that we could.
We could write a whole textbook about your family lore.
I'm sure that the Lord sounds like it goes very crazy.
The well, the thing that you said that I was like, ah,

(10:12):
fucking amen to that is the thing about yeah you
imagine is is well yeah, okay, so once you I
also feel like and this is actually I think part
of like uh not to bring it to me, but
like a little part of like an existential crisis is
like what you sort of when you get a little

(10:32):
bit older, you begin to fully understand the fact that
there is no such thing as your future self, which
is a little there's no such there's no such thing
as your future self. And that's like a little scary,
you know, because I think we put a lot of
hopes and dreams and reliefs and plans and whatnot in

(10:56):
this bucket of some day and in the future self,
and but there's just it just never comes. There's no
such thing as the future self. So yeah, it's still you.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
And I think that like the last two years have
just been so stressful that I like have really just
been like easing myself like self soothing with like a
future self in mind. Like that's been like a self
soothing like technique that I'm realizing. And that's it's it's
it's it's making itself really apparent.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Can I actually completely undermine everything I just said? Yeah,
because now I'm thinking about it, I'm like, I actually
there's kind of no such thing as the futureself. But
there also kind of is such a thing as a
future self, you know, because as human beings, we can
anticipate the future, so you.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
Can manifize things and you can eventually like you can
do things. You can you can visualize things and make
them into fruition, not even just like you know you
can you can you can emulate something until it be you.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, well I actually actually kind of I just I
have disagree with what I said. I think that are
I mean, obviously, there is no future self. It's always
just gonna be you when you have to understand that,
But there is something about you can plan for the
future to the best you can, you know. I mean
you can do that financially, and you can do the
health wise, and you can do that. But a lot

(12:16):
of the times, yeah, I mean, the future self is
just kind of like a vehicle for procrastination. But anyway, okay,
I want to get okay past your family lawyer. We're
getting philosophical bullshit. No, it's okay. I'm I'm steering us
in those directions, and I take responsibility for that. Is

(12:38):
why are you? Why are you sitting at home alone
in your house yelling at teenagers on roadblocks.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
Yeah, I guess I'm just like realizing just like I
don't really like trust myself the way that I should. Yeah,
I don't know, I don't know. Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Well, I mean, let's talk about this, right is you
you set all these like okay, you want to make
movies and oh well, okay, let's let me ask you this.
You said that moving to Atlanta was something that you did,
uh for yourself. It's like one of the only things
you did, uh for yourself? Why did you do it?

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (13:28):
I just think that I think that I'm sorry. My
cat is driving me nuts. She's like yelling in like
the middle of our apartment.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
Belief.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
I think that what it is is that I've never
I've always wanted to make movies, and it was something
that like, uh, you know, I felt like really guilty
about for a long time for like familiar reasons or
that it wasn't like possible, Like nobody my family's ever
really really believed in me about that. But until like

(14:02):
my dad like one random time was like, asa, what
I worked on a gator Ade commercial And He's like
I saw your car and this gator Rade commercial and
I'm like, yeah, like I mean I can do it,
Like there's like no reason like I can't. And I
guess I've just never like invested in like myself and
things that I wanted to do. I guess I've always
like chose like the safe option. I like decided to

(14:25):
do like clinical massage therapy because I was like, Okay,
well I can just do that while I'm like figuring
it out. And I've always just done like all these
I'm like a side quest person, and I've like had
a really hard time like with the big what are
you going to be when you grow up?

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Question?

Speaker 3 (14:41):
Right, But I've always done like a bunch of side
quests and I still kind of I mean, I still
do want to do that, but I guess that this
place just feels like there's a lot of opportunities for
me to do things that I want to do, like
and when it comes to like film, like I just
love being on a set in any capacity. It really

(15:03):
doesn't matter you.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Said you you said you work, do you currently work
in production, or you have worked in production.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
I was doing a lot of it in Florida, and
I was doing a lot of like live concert stuff
for a long time, which was really cool, and then yeah,
I was working my way into the commercials. But Austin,
Texas was really really weird for that, Like the community
there is like really cutthroat and really quickie and intense.

(15:35):
So I didn't get to do that as much.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Do you pick Atlanta? Because it has started to keep
interrupting you. But I'm just trying to get down to like, yes, why.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, you're trying to like figure it out.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
Did you did you get Did you pick Atlanta? Because
there's because of all the product I mean, I.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
I there's a lot of film here especially, yeah, and
a lot of like TV stuff.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
When you say you want to like make film, do
you mean you.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Want if I could be if I could be like
if I could be like a like a like a
foli artist, but like the rest of my life, I'd
be very happy with that. If I could get in
a writer's room, I'd be really really happy with that.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
There's like so many different avenues of it that I'm
like really could be very happy doing. And that's why
I'm like so broad with it. It's like it's not
even like a like, oh, I don't know, it's like
a believe in myself that I could like direct. I
think I could, like I really do think that I like,
but I I there's so many different facets of like
filming something that I genuinely enjoy is what I mean.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
So, Okay, that's good to know. So I you've been
Atlanta for a month, and yeah, have you have you
gone to any like fucking have you have you gone
to any like? You gotta see? That's that's that's the
thing is, there's a lot of And by the way,

(16:58):
I'm the king of short I am the king of
short term dopamine traps. Okay, I am a I am
a complete hypograph. I'm the king of short term dopamine loops.
So I say this with with uh uh you know
the heart, uh, yes, the if. I'm sure that yelling

(17:24):
at a at a little kid on roadblocks probably feels amazing.
It's probably a great rush of adrenaline to to like
have something that, like to care about, like to like
be giving, like, you know, because we're all just we're
all just looking for reasons to get out of our
fucking head and into something, and sometimes that desire is

(17:49):
what leads us to spend any amount of time or
effort or fucks to give about getting a little kid
banned from roadblocks. That's why you're doing that. It's because
you're in I was I was driving down the road,
uh yesterday and somebody like started slowing this the guy
the car in front of him was slowing down, and

(18:11):
then they started like backing up or something like just
in the middle of the road. And I yelled, and
I yelled, are you a fucking moron? And then I
and then I and then I went I turned around,
and then I and then I passed the car and
then I was like, oh my god, that felt so good.
My entire body and brain and essence was fully in

(18:36):
that moment of calling that person a fucking more. It
feels good. That's why we do it.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
Well, Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get I think
the road rage contained to your car will always be
a healthy outlet. And you can't change my mind on that.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
You know what, maybe maybe maybe you're right, Maybe maybe
it is. I felt good, I felt it was cathartic.
I wouldn't again, and you know what, and you're right,
you're right as long as it's I think would be,
I wouldn't want to, like I would never you know,
go to the person to their fate, like you know,
as you're right as long as it's contained in your
own car. Sure, anyway, why don't anyway? Yeah, I mean

(19:14):
all this really comes down to is like, I mean, dude, here,
if I could give like, if I could give some
suggestions here. I don't always feel inclined to give suggestions
or feel like I know what I'm talking about here,
but because it's like, you know.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
You used to and I remember an episode where you
were talking about the ship.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, yeah, I used to live in I used to
live in Atlanta a couple of times, and you know,
just this particular and you know, being doing film production
ship and so this particular avenue. I feel, why don't
you go on like meetup or Facebook or Instagram or
whatever and just like go to fucking like networking events
or even or even right, why don't you go on

(19:58):
like IMDb or LinkedIn or Twitter or whatever the fuck
and like email ten different Foley artists and be like, hey,
you know, can I ask you for advice on getting
into the industry? Not like hey can I you know,
have a job, but like, hey, you know, yeah, so
you just just gotta network. And by the way, people

(20:22):
think that networking is like people the word networking is
gross to a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (20:26):
But it's it's the only way you get anywhere.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
But I also it's not even I don't even think
it's gross. It's like it's connecting, you know. I mean
that's what you should it's people. That's what you should
be doing. Is you should be out in your industry
connecting with other people and not you know, at home
alone yelling at teenage. It's good. It's not a gross
thing to want to network.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah it is. Okay, okay, thank you. That's actually really
a good advice. Then do that.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
So yeah, I mean that's what I would do, is
find if you have a I mean it's also it's
so great that you have a specific because a lot
of people are like, oh, I want to make something,
but you know what it is and whatever the fact.
But to have like a specific vision and be like
I want to be a folly artist, I mean, god damn.
Go you know, go talk to the people who are

(21:21):
literally doing what you want to do and they're accessible
to get like.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
An audio engineering degree, and I don't know if I
should do that. I think you think it's a kind
of audio engineering kind of like a useless degree.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
You know what, you know what Instead of asking me
because I have no idea, go go find Yeah, seriously, seriously,
write a billion fucking questions down and then go to
like one of these networking events that I'm sure happen
all over Atlanta and ask these people, ask that question

(21:55):
to these people. You know this we live in. We
live in there's a lot of like, uh doomerism around
the connectedness of our society nowadays. And I could get
at philosophical bullshit whatever, but like, I don't know this,
Like the tools exist for you to find people who
are doing exactly what you want to do and reach

(22:15):
out to them. And by all, there's I see no
reason why if you reach out to ten of them,
at least one of them wouldn't be wouldn't love to,
you know, talk to you. Because that's why, Because I
think I think people people want to do that. People
want to send the elevator back down when they, you know,
get further in their careers. It makes them feel good.

(22:37):
So you know, do that again instead of going going
and saying alone in your house and yelling at teenagers.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
I will, I will. Yeah, I think I'm finally at
the point in my life where I'm like more comfortable
being alone. But uh, yeah, I think that the only
spiraling thing that I'm feeling is like what I'm supposed
to be doing. But being alone is like sick, which
it did not used to be the case.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Okay, good, good, a lot of for a lot of
people being alone as hell.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, so as long as I don't spent too long
on robugs, I think, yeah, it's a good thing.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
But yeah, it's been honestly really terrifying to you because
I feel like every time I have sets out in Atlanta,
it's only like romance trying to find me, and that's
really frustrating.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Wait, what do you mean? What do you mean it's
only romance trying to find you?

Speaker 3 (23:35):
It's I'm I'm consistently having people trying to date me
in a capacity and I can't find any friends.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Why do I feel I'm I'm hold on, I'm invested
in this. Give me one second. I'm I feel I
genuine because I feel like there's got to be like
a fucking like women filmmakers meet up in Atlanta that
you can go to friends. I really just got that.
There's no way that doesn't exist.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
It has to, right, it has to me.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
Look Look here, what is this? Look? What is this
film hub Atlanta? I literally just googled this there's the
film Fatals, an international collective of Yeah, there's all there's
all kinds of this ship. I'm I yeah, there's all
kinds of this ship. Look upcoming events Atlanta. Hold on,
bro look at this. Look I mean this is a

(24:32):
past event, but uh, this is a women in Film
and Atlanta event Saturday, April twenty sixth. It's passed. But
I just said, these things exist, you know they do.
You're right, you can join. Look, this is the whole thing.
You can join. Look at this. W i f t
a dot org volunteer. Look at this. You should be

(24:53):
on this website. Literally, lear you go right now, go
to w i f t a dot org slash get
dash involved and it says volunteer, get what get involved?
Fucking send them an email. Just you know, just I

(25:14):
just this is I'm getting specific about it, but it's
like I just just do anything to jog your brain
into realizing that there's there's there's other options for you
besides again, besides yelling at teenage us on the internet.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
Thank you, thanks Lyle. Hey did you ever watch Perfect Days?

Speaker 4 (25:35):
No?

Speaker 2 (25:36):
I haven't. I thank you, By the way, Because this
I feel like I'll have multiple streams in a row
where I'm like, I think I'm pretty useless, but I
felt good about this call. So thanks for letting me
yell at you. Collecte.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Thanks for yelling at me, Lyle. It's been a pleasure.
This is my first time ever really calling.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
Okay, that you chose me.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go?

Speaker 4 (26:07):
Mmm?

Speaker 3 (26:11):
Sometimes I claim to know a guy, but I can't
tell you what his hands look like. All right, Lyle, all.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Right, Colleede, you have a good one. Bye bye bye.
I don't know what did that she's Sometimes I claim
to know a guy, but I don't know what his
hands look like. Is it like a is that a
sex joke? What is that? Anyway? Anyway, Man, vivance is awesome.

(26:39):
I feel like a real person. That's what it is.
That's what it is. I've had a lot of street
I mean, maybe that's not what it is, but my
energy as a human being, I think to do this
podcast is finite. And there's a lot of times where
it's like nine pm and I'll chuck and I you know,
I got a record, and I'll chug a fucking mountain

(26:59):
dew and then I'll and then I and then someone's
talking to me and I'm zoning out, and I'm like, oh,
of course that's happening. Why would that not be happening
right now? I'm always trying to solve for X, for
like how to feel good and present? Yeah, I don't know,
I'm rambling, but yeah, good luck Collette. Uh try to

(27:22):
do stuff? Hello? Hello, Hello? What's up?

Speaker 1 (27:26):
Man? What's happening on?

Speaker 2 (27:29):
Not much where you call him? Are you a brit
Are you a Brits? No Ah, there we go? What
part of Australia? Are you in Sydney? Kick ass man?
I had a great time in Sydney when I went there.
Do you do you like it? Or are you like us?
Is where I live?

Speaker 1 (27:48):
It's just where you live your I'll not PayPal travel
he from all over the world and people get exhitited
to say it about For me, it shifts a lock.
It's an as though it is a beautiful city. We've
got some good local beaches and there's a lot of
like restaurants and you know, nice places to eat out.
But you know, you always feel like wherever you live,

(28:12):
you always feel like you just live in a bubble.
You know, because you go to your job and to
do your thing, and it's kind of like you get
caught up in the routine.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
Sometimes, Yeah, are you Are you in a bubble? That's
a stupid question, but it remains.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
It feels like that five days of the week and
then the other two days of the week. Sometimes you
try to break free of that bubble, do something, you know,
out of the ordinary, but sometimes you just end up
getting stuck in the bubble still, and then you just
live this life in a bubble because it feels like,

(28:54):
I don't know, sometimes it's just financeers that feel like
it's holding you back from breaking free of that bubble.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
You said that on the weekends you try to break
out of the bubble. What do you do on the
weekends to try to break out of the bubble?

Speaker 1 (29:12):
You know, I don't so much. I haven't been doing
it as much lately, but I did, like, you know,
I do like going out to the beach or going
on a hike or just you know, getting outdoors and
getting out in nature. But i've you know, I had
a bit of a work related incident this year and
it's impacted my ability to do a lot of things.

(29:34):
So I guess I'm just kind of been stuck in
the bubble.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
Is that Is that something you want to talk about?

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yeah, I guess I could talk about it. So earlier
on this year. I so for work, I work in construction.
I operate a piece of mobile plant, the plan I'm
referring to. It's a vacuum truck and I dig holes

(30:10):
with it. So it's a big truck, and it's got
a huge tank on the back, and you have a
hose that comes off of the truck and you it's
a vacuum hose, and you run out a high pressure
water hose as well, and you dig holes using the

(30:31):
high pressure water and the vacuum from the truck to
expose underground services in such an electrical gas and water.
And I was dig in holes earlier this year and
I dug you know, I dug this hole, and I

(30:53):
kind of, you know, after I was finished digging the hole.
The holes were supposed to be covered by the you know,
one of these workers on the job side, and he's
you know, covered the whole poorly, and I've misstepped and
I've fallen in the hole. I fell in the hole.
It was only about to meet a beat, but you know,

(31:15):
I landed directly on top of the water main that
was in the ground, and it's then I shock up
my spine and I've slipped the disc and it's caused
some you know problems and some psciattica. So it's affected
my right leg completely. It's impacted my ability to exercise,

(31:40):
which has been quite difficult for me because exercise has
always been a bit of an outlet for me. So yeah,
and that's it, man, It's been a bit of a
head fuck, if I'm being honest.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Man, When did this
all happen.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
Back at start of February.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Did like, did you get any kind of like a
workman's camp.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
Yeah, So it was complicated because when it first happened,
the company that I worked for thought it was just
going to be, you know, maybe a one or two
day thing, so they didn't want to file any claims
or do anything through the workers' compensation, and you know,

(32:36):
a couple of days. You know, even on the day
of the incident, it wasn't didn't feel like a big
deal at the time, and then the next morning I
woke up and I couldn't even I struggled to get
out of bed. So I went and I called my
boss and I told him, I said, I've got to
you know, I went to the doctors on the day

(32:57):
and he actually my boss come and picked me up
from the job site. Because the company I work for
a week contract to you know, these job sites. We
hire out our equipment to other job sites. So they
will call up and say, you know, we need a
vacuum truck for eight hours today, and they send out

(33:20):
me the operator. I'll drive the truck to the job
site and I work for the client for eight hours.
So my boss has come after the incident, after he
was made aware of it, picked me up from the
job site, taken me to his doctor, walked me into
the doctor's office and tried to get me sign off

(33:40):
as you know, all clear and you know there were
no problems, and you know, it was a bit I
didn't really speak up at the time. I just let
him say whatever he needed to say. And the doctor
refused to sign the office because they're just like, we
don't know what the you know, we don't really know

(34:02):
until we get some scans done. I can't just sign
him off and say he's aw clear. He could have
a slip disc or you might wake up tomorrow and
not be able to move. And that's exactly what happened.
You know, next day, I wake up, struggled to get
out of bed straight away, went to my doctor without
my boss there being present, told them the whole situation.

(34:27):
They asked if I wanted to do a workers do
it to workers compensation, and I said no, that's fine
because I knew that my boss didn't feel comfortable going
to workers compensation, And they said they gave me a
referral to go get an MRI, which I had booked in,

(34:47):
and I got that within a few days, and the
MRI results showed that I'd slept a disc in my back,
and my doctor had said that I need to go
see a neurosurgeon immediately. Le So then I've called my boss.
I've told them that that was the situation, and then

(35:10):
they've gone ahead booked me in to see a different
doctor who then wanted to backtrack fill out our workers'
compensation claim, backtrack it to the actual day of the incident,
because they knew that if after I got the results

(35:31):
from the MRI and my doctor said I need to
see neurosogeon. They knew it was going to be a
lot of money out of their pocket and this could
potentially go on for a long time and it would
end up costing them a lot more money. So they
have then gone and you know, I set me up

(35:53):
with their doctor. I've been doing everything that their doctor
has been sane, It's gone through works coming. I've been
going to physio twice a week, multiple doctors appointment. The
first three to four weeks, I was on four different
pain management medications and it felt like none of it
was helping. Over time with the physio and then slowly

(36:17):
weeding off of those medications and then slowly getting back
into work, I have started to feel better, but they
still haven't signed me off yet because I'm now it's
still affecting my right leg. So, you know, a couple

(36:37):
of weeks ago went and I got another MRI and
it's still showing that there's a problem there. And the
doctor that they had set me up with is now
saying on to see a neurosurgeon, which is what my
doctor had said initially. So it kind of feels like,
you know that, well, all that time that I've spent

(36:59):
with doctor doing whatever he was saying, and ultimately now
he's saying, I gotta go see a neurosoge and I
feel like this is something that I kind of wanted
to do months ago, back when the incident first happened.
But they thought that maybe I was, you know, because

(37:20):
it was my doctor. I was somehow, you know, they
were I don't know they I feel like maybe they
thought I was all caught up with my doctor and
they were telling me to do something. You know, I
don't know if you get what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
They thought it was fishy that you were bringing in
your doctor instead of their doctor. There's that basically what
you're saying. Yeah, they well, well, yeah, I guess because
they don't want I mean, they want to be in
control of the situation. I would assume, yes, So are

(38:03):
you Are you having issues with like with with being
able to see your doctor in conflict with their doctor.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
I can see my doctor at any time, and that's
a part of the workers' compensation. I can change the doctors,
I can change fhusio. I'm in control of the whole
situation essentially. But every time I brought it up to them,
if they're not happy about something, because they have not
made this easy for me at all. You know, there's
been times, you know, when I'm at work and they're

(38:38):
coming up to me. They essentially think that I'm milking
the whole thing, or that I'm bullshitting my way through
it just so i can stay on workers compensation without
saying that directly. They have come up to me and said,
you know, like you've been honest with us about the
whole thing, and it's like like, I'm getting the skin,

(39:00):
I'm seeing your doctors, I'm doing everything that you guys
want me to do, and still you're not happy with
it because they haven't signed me off.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
You said you were back to work.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
Though, right, yeah, but it's reduced hours.

Speaker 2 (39:16):
Okay, and so so so what are they what are
they trying to do with they trying to like, are
they trying to be like, hey, we're no longer gonna
because obviously you're still working with their doctor. Are they
trying to say like like you can't work with our
doctor on our dime anymore.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Well, a couple of weeks ago, my boss had come
up to me while I was at work, and he
was he approached the situation a lot differently to how
they had previously because it felt very threatening. They have
approached me a few times and it felt very threatening
in the way that they approached me. But this time around,
he was just like, you know, you, I feel like

(40:00):
you're telling us you're getting better, which I am slowly,
it is taking time, and I am getting better. I
have made a lot of progress since the date of
the incident. And they're like, but we feel like you're
telling us one thing and then you're going into the
doctor's office and you're telling them something different. And I said,

(40:23):
how can that be? Like, I'm not because they're also
they've also hired some third party, some guy that works
for a third party rehab rehabilitation program who also works
with me to get my goals on track and things

(40:45):
such as that. But he attends all of my doctor's
appointments with me and writes down statements of things that
have been said, and he shares those things directly with
my employer.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
That's fucking weird, man, that's fucking weird that they're like
hounding you about it.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
It is weird. It's weird.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
And I mean, you're leg I mean, I mean, well,
it's also like, look, I mean, you're what is it.
It's your right leg mainly right, yes, is your right how?
How how is your right leg doing? Is it still
like I mean, I assume what this was back in February.
I mean, it probably takes a while to like fully rehabilitate,

(41:34):
you know. I mean they're they're trying to like rush
your leg.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah, they are. It's it is going to take a
while because it is stemming from the slit disc and
from what I know, those things take a long time
to recover from. But it's made my right leg essentially,
like it's a little bit sloppy. I have to control
over them. I can use that. I'm not really limping

(42:02):
when I walk or anything, but it's I have a
bit of loss of control over my right foot and
I can't, you know, do things like I can't run
when I'm you know, driving, it's kind of affecting my

(42:22):
ability to push on the accelerator and break not completely.
I can still drive, but my job does require me
to drive a truck, so you know, it's kind of
affected affecting my ability to work. And you know, they're
still trying to rush it along, and I just don't

(42:44):
know what to do at this point.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
But you can't you I mean, yeah, I mean if
they're trying to rush it along, but like, don't you
have I mean, by the way, I mean, I am
in the grounds of things that I have no fucking
idea what I'm talking about, but I can I just
can we assume that there's some kind of law or
like I don't know, like what are your what are

(43:07):
your rights in this situation? You know what I mean? Like,
did do you have anyone who's like telling you that ship.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
Anyone that I've told things that are sucked up? And
I agree it is about the company that I work
for can be kind of a toxic workplace, and you.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Know, but I guess what I'm saying is like it's
like it's like like they're trying to like like if
your boss is trying to like you know, uh like
strong arm you into not paying for uh, not being
on workers comp is that like you know, is that
is that illegal?

Speaker 1 (43:54):
I don't think. I don't think it's legal.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
So then well, I mean, so look, if it's not legal,
then don't you can kind of can't you kind of
be like uh, yeah, well you can. You can say
whatever you want. You can try to rush me as
much as you want, but uh, it doesn't fucking matter
because you know you have to pay for you have
to pay for this, you know, so like I mean,
if they because if they do rush you along and

(44:20):
they do try to fuck you, I assume you can
just sue them. But I don't know. I can't assume
anything because I don't know anything about any of this ship,
either in America or Australia.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
M hm, yeah, you need you need a lawyer, man,
You need a lawyer.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
You need a lawyer. You need a lawyer, not a gecko.
You need a lawyer, man.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
A lawyer. But it wasn't really something that I'm looking to. Uh,
you know, Ti up U, it's already a bit of
a headache.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
I don't want to I'm sure. I know, I'm sure,
and I I I I empathize with that. I get that.
It's like you don't wanna you's don't want to deal
with it. But it still is my go ahead.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
I was just gonna say, it still is my job
and uh, you know, my form of income and following this,
I'm not really it's uncertain what's going to happen. I
don't know if by the end of it, when they
saw me, They're going to be like I like you done,
pack up your ship and go, or that's to be
b my job.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
And I can hold on, hold on, I'm gonna I'm
gonna interrupt. What's your name again, job, Marcus? Whatever? Whatever
your name is? Marcus? Okay, just tell me have you
have you consulted with a lawyer? Have you even spoken
with a lawyer? Have you even called? I'm on the phone, No, Marcus,

(46:03):
call a law Marcus, hang up the phone right now, Marcus.
I'm gonna keeck Marcus, hang up the Marcus. I what
time is it in Australia right now?

Speaker 1 (46:16):
Uh? Six am?

Speaker 2 (46:18):
Six am? Okay, Marcus? What were you doing up so
late or early? You have to work?

Speaker 1 (46:26):
I actually don't have what till ten I am, but
I wanted to get the fuck out of the assid
whether it won't pay any of my family.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
How How old are you? Marcus?

Speaker 1 (46:37):
Twenty six?

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Twenty six?

Speaker 1 (46:39):
What?

Speaker 2 (46:39):
And you Marcus? Man? Listen? First of all, look, I
appreciate you, you know, being down to talk about all
this shit. I'm screaming at you that you need to
call a lawyer. I get the fear, right, I get
the fear of like, oh, you'll you know, like retaliation
from your boss or whatever. But like this is like,
like this it happens to people, and there are like

(47:03):
people who professionally help people who this shit happens to.
Because right because you don't have anyone on your side
right now, you just have your fucking it's just you
and your buddies and your versus like your your boss,
who's clearly not on your side, and you gotta go

(47:23):
fucking talk to somebody who's on your You got to
call a lawyer, man. Like it like the fact that
you even like if you had told me you were like, yeah,
I consulted with a lawyer and they told me that
you know this, that and the other reason why I
shouldn't you know, fight back, and you know I'd have
to retain that, Like but but yeah, you haven't even

(47:43):
had a converse. I have a conversation with a lawyer, bro.
Just call one. Just call a lawyer. Just please please
call it. Please just call call a lawyer today.

Speaker 4 (47:52):
Man.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
I get and and and by everything that you're talking
about on the on this fucking show right now about
like oh I'm afraid about this. I'm afraid it's gonna
be a hassle. I'm afraid that you know, they're gonna retaliate.
I'm gonna lose my job. I'm afraid of this. Write
down every single one of those fucking fears. Okay, then
you call a lawyer and you tell them every single

(48:15):
one of those fears, and then have somebody have you know,
have them explain to you. I mean it's literally their
job to deal with people in your situation. Go fucking
call like a workman's comp lawyer man and be and
be vulnerable and be honest with them about all these
fears that you have about this situation, and like gets
get some help.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Dude, that's good, boss.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
And if you don't do it, I'm gonna come down
to Australia. I'm gonna fucking break your other leg.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
I there's a part of me that wants to do
it because it's good at boss, and then there's a
part of me that doesn't want to do it, just
so you come down to Australia and bright the leg.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
I know I'm not going to break your other leg.
I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Bro.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
Yeah, call a lawyer. I don't hold on. I'm gonna
i don't know what is workman. I'm on Google right now.
Workmen's Comp lawyer, Sydney, Australia. Okay, there's a billion of them, bro,
Yeah go, there's so many, Bro, you gotta you gotta
call one of these lawyers. There's a billion of them,

(49:26):
workmen's comp lawyers, low apart. Yeah go, I hope you
do this, man, I I I I It would make
me so happy if you took my advice and called
I called a lawyer instead of just like letting your
boss fuck you like this.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
M hm.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
What's your family? Do you talk to your family about this? Ship?

Speaker 4 (49:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (49:51):
Do?

Speaker 1 (49:52):
But uh, I feel like that don't really understand a
lot of what oursers, so I'll just truck it to
myself a lot of the time.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
Mm hmmm mm hmm, Bro, call a lawyer? Has anyone
else you talk to your friends about this?

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (50:16):
And what did they say? Did they tell you to
call lawyer?

Speaker 1 (50:20):
That never said call a lawyer? But I just think
it's sucked up.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
Yeah, Well, are you gonna call lawyer today?

Speaker 1 (50:31):
I'm gonna call on today.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
Are you gonna call lawyer today?

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Because you have told me too? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (50:37):
Okay, thank god? Good? Please please please and be and
tell them everything, tell them like, because because I don't know,
I can't quell your fears because I'm a gecko and
I'm I'm a I'm a gecko ten thousand miles away
from you call call a lawyer. Okay. I feel it
would make it genuinely if you call a lawyer. If

(50:57):
you call a lawyer and then you d emmulate and
you're like I called lawyer and he told me all
the stuff and it made me feel better. That would
make me very happy. So I hope you do that.
Marcus Marcus, Marcus, Marcus Marcus Marcus. Mmmm well, all right, man,
I'm gonna I'm gonna end. I'm gonna end this so

(51:18):
that you can go call a lawyer. If because I
because you're probably in your head. If I've convinced you
to do it, I'm gonna let you do it right now,
and I'm not gonna break it.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Any lawyers are off at six, I m uh.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
No, you should go back to bed. Maybe nine. Let's
go back to bed. Uh Marcus, is there anything else
you want to say to the people of the computer
before we go?

Speaker 1 (51:45):
I didn't think about that one. It's fun if I
don't have anything to say.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
Of course it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Of course it's fine.
You don't have to have anything to say. Okay, just
go call a lawyer. I somebody give me account of
how many times I said that over the course of
this uh phone call. Okay, good good luck, Marcus.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
Thanks, I appreciate it, all right, take care of him.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
Man. I don't know what that is. I don't know
what that is. Is that like a low is it
like a low self esteem thing?

Speaker 4 (52:22):
Like?

Speaker 2 (52:22):
What is I like, what is it that is preventing
this gentleman from calling a lawyer? Shit, dude, That's what
I would do if I was in a situation like that.
I mean, I mean damn, because he's just yeah, all this,
all this stuff that he's talking about. You know, it's

(52:45):
so funny that there's an entire like this is so dumb.
But it's crazy to me that there's a whole continent
of other of people who have that accent, like the
law Like, if he calls a lawyer, the lawyer is
gonna like be like an Australia and he's gonna talk,
He's gonna have that accent. The boss who's fucking them
over has an accent. The guy the person who gave that.

(53:09):
All the doctors they have that accent. That's kind of
crazy to me. Hello, Hey, what's up? What's your name?
My name is May May. What's up?

Speaker 1 (53:18):
May?

Speaker 2 (53:18):
How's life.

Speaker 4 (53:21):
Crazy? Just finished my finals? So next pustential crisis?

Speaker 2 (53:26):
Why Why is finishing your finals giving you an existential crisis?

Speaker 4 (53:30):
Well, honestly, I'm just scared of the adult world. Like
it's just the main reason. Like I just finished neuroscience,
but now I don't have a job because the job
applications I applied to just no funding and I just
got fired.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Well we oh no, what were you doing before you
were fired?

Speaker 4 (53:54):
So like a college student but like it's technically not
a fire, but just got let go after they said like,
oh yeah, we can't hire you anymore, so we got
to let you go. And I'm like, but you didn't
even hire me.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
And what this is? Uh, this is a neuros You
got a neuroscience degree, yep.

Speaker 4 (54:15):
And and I was looking into like maybe I want
to do research, but now like honestly yeah, and also
like a lot of like things happened around me, Like
neuroscience research is wild. All the research I've been into
is like the only normal thing I got into children research.

(54:37):
Every other thing is wild.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
What what tell me about? Tell me about the wild things?

Speaker 4 (54:44):
So like when I when people ask me of like, okay,
so what are you studying right now? I'm like it's
kind of like awkward to like explain to them that,
like it's basically lebotomizing like raps.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
We all know that we no, no, no, look listen, listen, listen.
May you can, may you can be all KOI on
this phone call. But we know you guys are sucking
up some rats. We look, we look, we get we
get it. We we have all, we have all collectively
as a society, decided that we can fuck up an
infinite amount of rats in pursuit of our own in

(55:22):
pursuit of the furtherance of our own of our own species.

Speaker 4 (55:25):
And we're okay with that degree, Like the degree of
like fucking up rats. I just thought like, oh, probably
just animal testing degree, right, Yeah, But I didn't. I
didn't find not to like shoot up cocaine interrats.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
It's funny because I actually I feel bad for you,
maybe because we are we're all like I'm sure that
my daily I'm sure that there are so many aspects
of my daily life that are the way they are
because of lots of people killing lots of rats. But
I'm what, I'm lucky because I don't have to. I'm
not the one who has to kill the rats and

(56:02):
you're the one who has.

Speaker 4 (56:05):
Yeah, so like like one good like I think, like
one good thing like that probably like I was like, yeah,
I didn't like it was my calling to end up here?
Is like sure, I don't like like animost like I
find man was cute. It's just like I don't every
single time when someone's like, oh, a dog, it's kind
of like, okay, yeah it's a dog, but like I

(56:26):
still kind of feel bad. So it's kind of like
a lot of people are like yeah, we like even
my mom like and my brother, they're like, yeah, if
you didn't get a degree and something weird, like we
expected you to go into the military or some kind
of like or like she just she literally just like

(56:47):
told me like, if you don't end up a serial killer,
like I'm just happy for you, preferably a doctor.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
Okay, so you've been lobotomizing rats for.

Speaker 4 (56:59):
Four years, Like I just dipped because like levant like
the lab, They're like they're sure, like they just do
weird things, but there's snobby about it. So like I
ended up in like children research, which but what I
still do is kind of weird because I just put
electrodes on kids' heads, like and I call parents saying like, hey,

(57:21):
can we have your child please? And like at first,
like I was questioning like why they chose me until
they got into recruitment process and I'm like, oh yeah,
like with them for the first four minutes, I need
to like explain to them what I'm why I'm calling
for their children. Like I just go down and email

(57:41):
list and like phone list and I just call every
parent and I'm like, okay, yeah, they're they're not going
to like find like a young girl or like young
college students suspicious there, So why uh not?

Speaker 2 (57:59):
Why what what if you could like do anything with
this degree, what would you do?

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Well?

Speaker 4 (58:08):
Like recently I figured out like I really like machines
and working with animals, Like not like I like animals,
but it's kind of like I don't like talking to
people honestly, Like kids, I can deal because like, well

(58:29):
they're not as complicated as adults, but like a lot
of things happened in my life that I just want like, yeah,
no humanity stocks. Like the reason oh yeah, I remember.
The reason why I called you is because, yeah, what
is happening to the guys around me are like at

(58:51):
least like men in the society, because like I'm not
going to sound like Missandress, but come on, like like
like my guy friend of like eight years, like when
I was like talking about like, hey, I don't have
a job, like but I still don't really want to
go into the military yet. And I was like, well,

(59:12):
like as a half joke, I said, like, I mean
like Instagram is like either like pushing me towards the
sugar baby or like the military, which I was the
same thing. And like after we like we just talked
for like two hours, and we like I just had
a beer and I was like, well, I'm not going
to get drunk, so like, oh screw that. So I

(59:33):
talked to him and like at the end of the conversation,
the two hour conversation, he wasn't acting weird. He suddenly
goes into his room and said, like wait here, and
he pulls out a wat of cash and said like here,
and I'm like I was in denial, but turns out
I was solicited and I was like, yeah, no, fuck that.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
We he pulled out a lot of cash to like.

Speaker 4 (59:58):
Yeah before that, before that, like I was on the
phone call with him and I was like, hey, you're
doing okay, Like you had a rough patch with your
girlfriend and like he had a toxic relationship and I
was like, yeah, no, that's fucking toxic, Like you really
want to go down this road. And I was like,
I didn't say leave her, but it's kind of like
it was even obvious to me that I was like, yeah,

(01:00:22):
that's not good. And I don't know what an infinitus
with him just decided to like he said like, yeah,
I just found like cash in my room, and I
was like he was talking about getting something nice and
I'm like no, So I ended up cutting contest.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Well, how you said you knew this guy for like
eight years.

Speaker 4 (01:00:46):
Yeah, since like I don't know, like high school, like
I actually come from like like I went to school
in Japan for and like since my both of my
parents were military, we moved around so like when I
first got here, he was one of the first few
friends I made. So they kind of stink.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
So, but like, strangely enough, I don't feel sad, like
it's kind of like, well, it's just probably the people
I knew throughout my life, because like, yeah, like I've
been robbed by like close people, almost got like a
murder attempt on my life while getting my degree, and

(01:01:33):
like I did work at like a dental office where
I'm like a random guy walks in and said like, yeah,
I just got stabbed the other day. I'm like, oh, yeah, sure,
should I just pull the back like see a little
bit back slower and I'm not crazy things happened, and
I'm like, well, should have soon that coming.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
Hm hmm.

Speaker 4 (01:01:54):
Yeah. So like I don't want to think that like
like or like, oh you're crazy, but I'm like, okay, yeah,
but you guys have problems too, So at least I'm
upfront about mine.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Why who's telling you that you're crazy? And why why
are they saying you're crazy? Well?

Speaker 4 (01:02:16):
My brother, but my brother is he like I just
like I usually joke about it, but like, yeah, sure,
like we went through the same ship because like, honestly,
my both of our like our parents were like did
not have a good time a lot. So he looks

(01:02:40):
at me and looking at me like I'm like nonchalant
about it, and he's like, yeah, so, uh, probably it's
just the shenanigans I get into. So yes, like the
moment I told him like, so another thing is like

(01:03:05):
actually like probably like the first time I was deciding
like I wanted to call you, was like I think
last year fall, but I'm just going to bring up
this now. But so I was on a research lab
and I was like, hey, this is actually kind of fun.
But turns out I don't know why my supervisor hated me.

(01:03:26):
So I got fired. But like I thought, I made
a friend. Then that friend went off to the deep
end because like she was on some substances and like
tried to run a sixty in the middle of the
mountains and I was like, oh.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
Try to try to run. Try to run a what.

Speaker 4 (01:03:45):
Like a sixty like sixty miles per hour on like
a mountain, like a dirt road, and I was just
sitting there of like yeah, shee you and she just
yelled at me to get off. So like yes, I
call the counseling services and say like, hey, this girl's
going off to deep and get her to my school

(01:04:07):
because we went to the same school, so I was like, yeah,
like getting my degree is I'm not cost my wife,
but hey, something happens. I guess.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
How old are you?

Speaker 4 (01:04:22):
May twenty three?

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Okay, and you're just you're graduating. Well yeah, okay, it's
it's it's May, so you're graduating.

Speaker 4 (01:04:35):
Yeah yeah, okay. So but at least on the bright side,
I got a good GPA and graduating.

Speaker 2 (01:04:46):
So for me, hooray for fucking sure. Are you do
you have like a I mean, like, do you have
like a guidance counselor at the school who's like, Yo,
here's how we're gonna help you get a job.

Speaker 4 (01:04:58):
Oh no, they see me, like they see me so
many times, like they like, actually, like the guidance councilor
I need to like contact all the science major kids
because my school is a small school, so they and
like actually like a private so they want everybody to
like especially like get out with a job or at
least with a job. So like they're like trying to

(01:05:20):
get everybody to a program. But they're like, well you
can gut you guys can contact me for the next
five years. So like even they're panicking.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
I'm sorry they say. They say, they said, if what
do you can't contact them for the past five years?

Speaker 4 (01:05:35):
Uh no, like the next five years, like I still
can use their resources. So they're like, well contact does
and my current like supervisor who's like on the research
are like saying, hey apply here, hey apply there, and
even like I took a gap year. So my friends

(01:05:56):
are trying to like get me into jobs. But I'm like, well,
it's just like when things get so bad, it just
gets gets absurdly bad, and I'm like, well, I'm actually
entertained for.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
What does he say that one more time?

Speaker 4 (01:06:13):
Like when things get so bad, like it just becomes
like entertaining at some point, I guess.

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
Mm hmmm mmmm. You have friends who are helping you
try to get into jobs. Yeah, who are these friends?

Speaker 4 (01:06:30):
Like friends who like graduated like biology and like microbiology,
and I feel like the like school friends like I
went to school because and alumni, and then there's friends
from the high school that I still have contact with.

Speaker 5 (01:06:51):
So yeah, that's a yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:59):
All all these all these I think all these these
are all legitimate yea's, these are all legitimate yea's. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:07:06):
So it's not like I think like I'm not calling
depressed or like calling to cry about something because I
legit wanted to cry about something a few months ago,
but like now it passed. I'm like, well, yeah, why
did that happen? I'm prompted because like people are like

(01:07:27):
people are like I did get asked like, so did
you do anything? Like later down the road, like recently,
They're They're like, so you did anything, And I'm like, no,
I hate touching people, like and giving compliments like I
don't know why that happened to me.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
I'm saying you did anything?

Speaker 4 (01:07:47):
Ah yeah, like getting in this much trouble. Like people
are like, so you're leading someone on, and I'm like, no,
I hate people. I don't mind touching.

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
Hmmm.

Speaker 4 (01:08:05):
So yeah, Like and when I was like shadowing like
the only like bright side, like the bright side of
like all this like weirdness because I have a lot
of weird guy stories, but at least of all the
men who hit me, like I did hit way above

(01:08:27):
my tax bracket. So I'm like, hey, like I did
pull auseholds, but I did not pull a bum. It's
like I joke about people, but I'm like I'm still
not dating.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
You said you said, up, you said you hit above
your tax bracket.

Speaker 4 (01:08:46):
Yeah, it's all the people who were kind of weird
towards me or like there were assholes, but like legitimately
but at least, well they made more money than me.
So I'm like, hey, at least I pulled someone above
my tax brackets. So I'm like.

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
A win, sure, sure, sure, sure anywhen.

Speaker 4 (01:09:12):
So it's like, I mean, it's a weird way to
like try to find a bright side, but like there
is no bright side that like it's just absurd to
find like a one. So mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
Yeah, ah man, you know, uh.

Speaker 4 (01:09:30):
I like I'm not even in the dating scene, but
like people in the dating scene, I just get a
little bit worried because if there's there's these weird guys
that people find attractive, is kind of like, so why
you want to say.

Speaker 2 (01:09:46):
I mean, is this something? Is that something that you like?
Like I mean the way you're talking about it, I mean,
that's is that something that you want is like to
be dating? Nope?

Speaker 4 (01:09:55):
Nope. Like halfway through college I come from like I
figured like I was completely as oh okay, like I
dipped out.

Speaker 2 (01:10:05):
Like well, I mean that's I will say that is
one stressful part of life that I guess you don't
have to participate in do you? I mean, how do
you How do you feel about that? Do you feel like?
Do you do?

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
You?

Speaker 2 (01:10:24):
Are you?

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:10:25):
Is it like a source of internal is maybe kind
of personal but like and you don't have to talk
about anything you don't want to talk about. But is
it like is it like a source of internal conflict
for you?

Speaker 4 (01:10:39):
M No, Like I still have a fun time like
talking to people who are like generally fine, like interesting
to talk to and honestly, like I'm thinking, like, is
there anything besides in life then alcohol and research, because
I guess those things actually bringing joy. I guess we love.

(01:11:04):
I still love talking to people so like, but it's
not like this source of stress. Probably the only stress
is like a mom's like Japanese, so like every single
time I meet her side of the family, they're like, wow,
you're so pretty, Like why don't you like get married?
And I'm like, yeah, can you can? I can you
just send me back to the lab? I don't want

(01:11:25):
to talk to anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:11:28):
Mm hmm. May I hope that, uh well, first of all, listen,
may I hope was like helpful to or I hope
you I hope it was remotely helpful on the phone.
I mean, but I also want to say I hope

(01:11:48):
I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:11:48):
Like probably like I would want an advice, but like
at the same time, like I do know for advice, I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:11:55):
Not a sorry, go ahead, you sorry, go aheading just
a rupting you what were you saying?

Speaker 4 (01:12:00):
It's just like probably half advice, like half question of
like why are people so weird like this? Like I mean,
like they get weird A doubt that, like like I
like the things I do for my like what I
want to do for a job, but then they like

(01:12:23):
get weird, and I'm like, so, why you guys weird?

Speaker 2 (01:12:28):
I nobody has any fucking answers as to why anyone
is the way they are. I mean maybe they do,
but yeah, look, I I'll just say this, I hope. Look,
it's no fucking secret that you know. I'm uh, have
have struggled myself with like negative perceptions of of the
world and whatnot, and I'm no, I'm no expert in

(01:12:50):
fixing those things. I don't have any I wish I
had anything like inspiring necessarily, but I mean I don't know, Man,
do you talk to a therapist.

Speaker 4 (01:13:07):
Well I did, but now I'm graduating because I'm going
to lose that privilege. Yeah, well, like I still like
have people who I can talk to. I guess, so
it's not much of a big deal for me or
like it's not like oh I'm alone or like I'm
going to be sad. But it's still just kind of
like the thing that I just accepted I need to
deal and why are you I kN.

Speaker 3 (01:13:31):
Mhm.

Speaker 4 (01:13:34):
But still I'm like like it's kind of like, yeah,
I feel it's like I'm kind of uncalled for.

Speaker 2 (01:13:42):
I guess what's what's uncalled for therapy?

Speaker 4 (01:13:48):
I don't know, like people just I mean my genuine
question like after like I didn't think I was going
to graduate with the question like why are people so weird?
Like sure, like in neuroscience, like you learn about behavior,
so and what I figured out was like, yeah, people

(01:14:11):
are weird. And then I learned about like in the
field like in neurosense of psychology, everybody's like drugged up,
like like like all.

Speaker 2 (01:14:23):
The other all the other researchers are like taking a
bunch of drugs.

Speaker 4 (01:14:27):
Yeah, like that really like one researcher like who I
was like working with it. She was like right after
a conference, she just like went straight to dispensary and
like got gout, like got some weed. And I was like, well,
I don't do weeds, but I'm an alcoholic, so I
don't do weat And it's just like okay, sure.

Speaker 2 (01:14:51):
Yeah, I mean yeah yeah. Self medicating is definitely, it's
definitely a thing. Definitely thing I always I always have.
I have to imagine. I have to imagine it's kind
of interesting like being in the field like neuroscience, where
you I assume you have your studying all these things

(01:15:12):
about like fucking like dopamine and serotonin and noah, per
nephrine all this, all these like brain chemicals and so
you have like a it must be kind of like
it must be a psychedelic, bizarre contradict. You no look
like like like I've always I've always.

Speaker 4 (01:15:32):
People like the old tenures or like the old people
who are like have white hair in the field. They're
like you think they're going to be the smartest, but
like they're the people who were doing it from the nineties,
And I'm like, okay, you're worse than us.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
But I was gonna say it must be kind of
weird to like have this logical understanding of how the
brain works from like a very very empirical point of
view and then still be a fucking slave to it,
you know, And then still you do do all this research,
you learn about, all the chemicals you learn, and you're
still a fucking slave to the thing.

Speaker 5 (01:16:05):
It's insane, No, it's it's wild, like at least like
like actually, like I got like a work like when
I was taking psychopharmacology, which is like basically gay drugs.

Speaker 4 (01:16:17):
Like it's a study about drugs. So we had always
had like this homework of like where we read like
a case study or a prompt about like this person
going through something like it could be medical. But like
one of the papers where they were like, so this
guy decided to make compound during his chemistry class and
decided to use it. Then suddenly his arms and legs

(01:16:38):
won't move. What happened? And I'm like, oh, he's a
fucking boy. So I'm like, why did you do that? Guy? So,
but like we need to explain like how the dopamine
pathway works. And I was like, well, like yeah, may

(01:17:04):
everybody is at last everybody like I can just say
it from like a star here, but like looking at people,
even like people at regular fields, it's kind of like
you're a slave to something. At least make it interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:17:17):
You're a You're always going to be a slave to something.
At least make it interesting.

Speaker 4 (01:17:22):
Yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (01:17:24):
Guess that's I guess you are always going to be
a slave to some I mean everyone is a slave
to like I mean, everyone's a slave to like their
own mortality at the end of the day. I mean, actually,
maybe that's not true. Maybe you're not a slave to
it if you don't fear it or you don't think
about it.

Speaker 4 (01:17:41):
Yeah, And like I'll be the first to admit, like
I like I do take stressful jobs, like the whole thing.
Like even during college, I took stressful jobs because I think,
like the moment you're about like you feel like you're
about to fail, and like you don't, it's like the
biggest high I will ever get. It's kind of like, yes,

(01:18:03):
I'm better than It's like so rewarding to me that,
Like people are like, so why do you torture yourself?
And I'm like, well it makes me feel better about myself. Hmm,
Well I find joy in it. So I'm like, and
I was like, Hey, I'm actually finding joy and helping people.

Speaker 2 (01:18:24):
Good, good, dear God good. Uh. I'm gonna go ahead
and be optimistic that you and uh for whatever, for
whatever this word fucking means, uh manifest I don't know.
I I I predict you'll be able to find some
job or or thing or role or whatever the fuck

(01:18:46):
in the world where you can help where you where
you feel like you can help somebody.

Speaker 4 (01:18:51):
YEP, I hope so too.

Speaker 2 (01:18:54):
Who knows, maybe you helped somebody by talking on this
show and they're like, oh, okay, I understand. I have
or thoughts and at least I'm not alone in my
crazy photo thoughts.

Speaker 4 (01:19:05):
I mean, like I like pop like pop into like
watch your show's time to time, and like people like
there are some episodes some like people feel guilt over it,
and I'm I'm like, hey, the smartest people in the
world actually have the same problems with you, at least,
like they're high functioning. Don't feel bad about it.

Speaker 2 (01:19:25):
May is there anything else you want to say to
the people of the computer before we go, Like, I
I like.

Speaker 4 (01:19:36):
There's weird jobs around there. I guess probably, Like I
just wanted to like ask everybody like, how do you
become a decent human being? Because I don't know either.

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
How do you become a decent human being? Well, well,
there's no objective, Uh, there is no objective measure of
what is a decent human being. I mean there's a
there's there's a lot of general consensuses. Humans generally reach
the consensus that murdering people is bad, but there is

(01:20:18):
no like, I mean, if it's all chaos, there's no
real Well, how do you become a decent human being?
I mean, I guess you you in your brain, I
guess I guess. I guess you, as an individual, come
up with your own definition of what it means to
be a decent human being, and then you try as
hard as you can within your own primal human limitations

(01:20:40):
to you know, do that. I guess. I guess you
kind of form your own fucking thing. And then and
the great news is is that if you fuck up,
you can just lower your own bar.

Speaker 4 (01:20:56):
That's what I think. Yeah, I did not think about that.

Speaker 2 (01:21:05):
Well, I don't know, try the best you can.

Speaker 5 (01:21:07):
May, Yeah, thank you, man, what a crazy podcast that
I'm doing here.

Speaker 2 (01:21:19):
That was May, and that was Collette and that was fuck.
What was the name of the Australian guy who's gonna
who better fucking call a lawyer? He better called they?
Was his name? Maverick Josh something like that. Okay, this
has been the Therapy getto podcast. Uh, this was a fun,

(01:21:42):
fun This was an engaging episode. I felt very engaged
for all these conversations. I hope you enjoyed it as
a listener. This was a good so yeah, man, this
was a good episode. This was cool. A lot of
the time. Man, A lot of the times I sit
down to do this and I'm sit down to like
do a stream and I'm like, I don't know if

(01:22:04):
I can do this, And then sometimes, you know, shut
the laptop off and I'm like, wow, that was actually
that was a good episode. Those were some Those were
some engaging conversations. Uh, this is one of them. Thanks
for being along on the journey. Crazy Planet. We're living

(01:22:24):
on crazy planet. I don't have anything else to say.
The vivance hasn't hasn't worn off yet, so I'm gonna
go I don't want to do a push up or something,
and that's it. I don't have anything else to say.
Do I have anything else to say, I don't know.

(01:22:45):
I want to make more YouTube video that YouTube video
that I posted on Sunday, which you can find on
my YouTube channel YouTube dot com slash Lyle Forever. I
want to make more stuff like that. I want to
make more stuff. I want to do more things. I
want to be alive. I wanna I want to continue
to want. I wanna continue to feel and think and

(01:23:10):
not you know, be okay, just be okay, enjoy life,
look at stuff, eat things. We're okay, everything's all right, okay.
End of podcast goes on the line taking your phone
calls every night.

Speaker 1 (01:23:31):
The beacon goes to it and ride.

Speaker 2 (01:23:33):
You're just teaching you a loud.

Speaker 4 (01:23:34):
In the of your life.

Speaker 2 (01:23:36):
But he's not read me an expert