November 19, 2025 • 72 mins
A single mom tries to form a social life outside of her relationships with streamers, a caller expresses his disdain for food critics blowing up his favorite spots, and I interpret the dreams of a viewer mail writer.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Is this Lyle? Yes?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Who is this.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hid Lyle?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
My name is Goldie, Goldie. What's going on, Goldie? How's life? Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Man, I'm actually I'm crying right now, but so not
the greatest at the moment.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You're quiet? Why are you? Why are you crying?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
It's kind of silly. But so I'm an avid Twitch watcher, Okay,
I love to watch Twitch streams, and uh, I've actually
been watching you for probably like two or three years now. Cool,
(00:51):
So I'm a very big fan. I love your stream, dude.
But but uh, yeah, I'm actually crying because another person
that I watch on here? Can you just ban me? Yeah? Yeah,
(01:19):
from his Twitter community because actually, as it turns out,
I'm already banned on Twitch, so I can't actually chat,
but I do listen, right, Okay, yeah, so but I
(01:42):
I just got banned from his Twitter community and I'm
crying about it.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Okay, all right, let's well let's talk this through. Well,
first of all, why why did you Why do you
think you got banns?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
So I have a lot to say. I'm kind of
I kind of talk too much, I guess, and I
kind of say some outlandish things sometimes, and I think
that he did not want me kind of speaking over
him in his chat.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Okay, is this as like a small streamer.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Usually about like six hundred viewers a stream he has?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Okay, yeah, all right, I mean let's reverse engineer this
in a few ways, because why are you why are
you spending so much time talking in this guy's chat?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, I mean they sometimes they call me a parasocial okay,
because yeah, I'm not exactly one hundred percent sure what
that means, but I think it's.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Like, like I where I believe that I'm closer to
him than I really am.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
A parasolic relationship is like a relationship that you form,
is like a one sided relationship you form with someone
that you don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah, yeah, that's definitely what I'm kind of doing. I
don't really have many Actually I don't have any friends
in real life.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I kind of use twitch as a platform where I
can connect with people since I don't really have a
way to do that in real life.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay, why do you feel like you don't have any friends?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Well, I'm a single mom, though I kind of lost
most of my friends after becoming a mom.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And then.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I never made any new ones after I lost all
my friends.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Where were your friends from? Like? Where or were they
from like high school?
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Mostly?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Uh, high school. I never really had many friends, but
the few of them that I had were from school.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
M you know, I'm not fully opposed to using online
communities to make friends. I'm not fully opposed to it.
I think that Well, Like when I first was twitch streaming,
I was a little worried about parasocial relationships. I was
(05:05):
worried that people were like finding you know, I mean,
I don't think parasocial relationships are are They kind of
depend on intensity. I mean I have parasocial relationships with
people that I, you know, listen to a lot or
watch a lot, you know, I've you know, kind of
form ideas of who they are, and you know, they
(05:26):
they maybe uh their work speaks to me in ways
that make me feel very understood. But I don't I
don't ever, I don't let that go to to a
place where I like feel like they're you know, I
maybe have a reverence for their work and what they
have to say and whatnot. By I don't let that
(05:48):
cross into a territory of like they are part of
my social life in any way, shape or form. And
I was kind of worried about that when I first
started streaming, But then I I noticed on Discord and
even like in my twitch chat that people independent of
me were like making friends with each other, and that
became those became like, those weren't parasocial relationships. Those were
(06:11):
real uh you know, albeit online, but they were They
were real relationships that people formed with each other, and
I thought that was cool. And I'm not against that
because I've actually seen a lot of situations both you know,
in my Gecko universe and in like anecdotally in real
(06:31):
life where people have relationships like that that turn into
like real friendships. And I'm not I'm not opposed to that.
I'm opposed to like I'm opposed to like like making
friends with an AI chatbot or trying to feel like
(06:53):
a streamer is like your friends. But I I the
the space between of like, you know, I chat with
this person who lives in uh, Wisconsin, and I'm in
Florida or whatever. I don't think that that's all that bad.
(07:13):
And if that's where your life is and that's where
your comfortability is and that's where you need to start,
I don't think that that's the worst thing in the world.
But I guess ultimately you'd want to form a forign
friendships in real life. And it's I get why it's
I get why it's hard for you as a as
(07:33):
a single mom. You know, it's a lot of responsibility.
Is there a kid? Yes, By the way, you sound
like you're you sound like, uh, you sound like you're
out in Are you out in public somewhere?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
No, I'm actually in my room. I'm pacing back and
forth in my room right now, and my little baby
just came in here and he wants me now, So I'm.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Like, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
But but about what you were saying is, yeah, like
the thing about the parasocial relationships is like there's no
form of like, uh the what's that word recipprosity? Yes, yeah,
so there's no Really, I'm not really getting anything out
(08:25):
of these relationships of course, other than you know, it's
kind of like an imaginary relationship in a way. So
I definitely wish that I could find friends in real life.
I'm just like kind of like an awkward person, So
I don't know if I don't really know.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
How to do that.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Well, you can find friends in real life even if
you're an awkward person. You, I really do you can
find friends in real life being exactly as you are,
because I don't like I think like real friendship is
(09:12):
mostly this is like really boring. But most friendship is
truthfully more about repeated exposure than it is about any
form of It's repeated exposure with like a little bit
of compatibility, but I think it's mainly about repeated exposure
(09:34):
than it is compatibility. And if you're awkward, but you
have repeated exposure with like the same group of people,
you'll be you'll start to you'll be less awkward because
you get more comfortable with them because of that repeated exposure.
So it's like, well, where do you get that repeated
exposure is the main question. And it's hard for you
because you got to you got a lot going on,
(09:55):
But uh yeah, it's possible, And it's possible to do
it online too. Like when you were in this guy's
Twitch community, were you were you just like sending our
messages to the void or were you talking to other people.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Mostly like I would. I would interact with the other
chatters once in a while, but I would mainly comment
on his stream and what he was doing, sometimes say
like jokes here and there. The guy that I was watching,
(10:30):
he kind of felt like the things that I would
say were me trying to like outshine him in a way,
I think, and he, I guess he wanted to, uh
basically had more control over his community and what was
(10:53):
being said in his chat. And I don't know, maybe
he just got the wrong idea about me. But yeah,
sorry if it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
No, it it makes perfect sense. But I don't think
but it's I don't think it's the thing to be
focused on, right because well, I mean what I what
I want to see, what I'd like to see for
you is to uh build up a better like social life,
(11:29):
whether it's on the internet with other real people or
with real people in real life, but less of this
thing of you know, where it's you and like a streamer.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
You know, yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
And it's one thing if you like what they have
to say and you like having them as background noise,
you know, because I I have there's people that you know,
I listened to Stavros' podcast all the time. I listen
to a lot of different podcasts that I have on
and ship and you know, but like I don't you know,
but you got to have like a healthy, like, uh,
(12:07):
real social life. Have you made any have you made
any attempts to do that or like what would those
and what have those attempts looked like?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Not? Actually, not at all recently, like I would say,
probably within the past couple years or so. Like, I
haven't really tried to go out of my shell when
I when I'm in public, which is usually like the
grocery store, I avoid eye contact with everyone and I
(12:53):
just kind of go in and get out as fast
as I can. So I I don't really leave that
open for opportunity.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Well, are there areas in which you would feel more comfortable?
Like what are your what are your hobbies? What do
you like to do?
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I like to draw, and I like to paint, and
I do word searches every now and then. But I
don't imagine that the word search community is easy to find.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Sure, we could find the word search community the fucking
probably plenty of any anything that you would do, there's
like a discord of people who are also doing it.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Hmmm, I think that you should definitely go out in
search of like online communities that are related to what
you like. To do. How's being a mom?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Uh, it's it's amazing because my kids really just like
bring joy and just love and light to my life,
and my whole world revolves around them, which has its
pros and cons. But and there, my kid's dad is
(14:43):
not in the picture, but he definitely tries to be.
And our relationship was not the greatest, so it's kind
of rough because I have to see him and uh,
he kind of left, like left me in a dark place,
(15:07):
and he's kind of like controlling. So it's it has
its pros and cons, but I would say it has
mostly pros.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
M Hm.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Why why is your guys' relationship strained?
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Well, he's just he's always been very controlling and manipulative,
and I'm uh, I don't I honestly don't even really
know how to put it because.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
He just.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Ye for a while, he would try to make me
feel like I was crazy and and anything. Anytime I
try to come forward about anything that he does wrong,
he shuts me down completely. So I don't even really
know how to describe it.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
It's yeah, it goes pretty deep, which probably didn't need
real therapy for.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But what's your what's your your kid sounds like he's
running around ding a bunch of stuff in the background.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Was he up?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Was he?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
What's he doing right now?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
My bed is just covered and I was cleaning my kitchen,
so I took everything off the top of the microwave
and put it on my bed. And now they're just
going through that all that. I actually have a little
baby and an older four year old, so they're just
(16:52):
going through everything right now. But it's okay, man.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
So you're juggling with fucking two kids. Are you you
live do you Is it just you and the two
kids or do you live with your folks? Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
No, it's just us, just me, boys and.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
My cat man. You're holding you're holding that fucking ship down, dude.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Thanks man. I try my best.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
That's hard, that's that's really that's tough doing that. And
what do you work?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I do not at the moment. I am looking for
a job. I actually applied at the hospital near me
to do like like you know, the people that bring
you your food at the hospital. Yeah, I applied to
do that and then I got denied. So try a
(17:49):
different angle.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Mm hmm, goldie, goldie, Goldie. Damn, you're holding that fucking
ship down, Goldie. I respect you, I really do. I
respect you. This is you're holding You're holding out a
lot of ship dude. I want you know, and I'm
not I really I don't want to say this as
a way of uh, I'm not trying to be like,
(18:11):
uh motivational speaker type of type ship, but uh, get
just give yourself some credit, man, I mean I hope
throughout throughout whatever it is, like, give yourself some credit.
I mean, you're what you're doing is uh is a
wild undertaking. It's really that sounds so hard. Uh, you know,
(18:33):
dealing with like a fucking uh you know, uncooperative, uncooperative father,
you know, taking care of two kids on your own,
working you know, dealing with I mean that's tough man.
So you know, uh, have have some have some compassion
(18:56):
for yourself as you never like do like it like
do both things at once, Like have some compassion for yourself,
you know, because what you're doing is hard, but also
like like look at yourself in the mirror and be like,
I'm fucking killing it right now. I'm doing I'm doing
pretty good job at this like hard thing. Like because
(19:17):
you because you I don't know it's from from what
you said about like, oh, I feel awkward if like
I can't look people in the eye. Like, uh, you
didn't say it out right, but I don't know if
you're dealing with any kind of like self confidence issues,
but like take a second to look at yourself and
be like, wait, I'm actually kind of sick right now,
you know, like I'm dealing with all this shit, but
(19:38):
I'm still I'm holding it down, you know, like walk
around with it like that's what you should be walking
around with and not like, oh I'm weird and I
don't I can't fit into the planet.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah. Yeah, you got it down for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
You got it down. You got it down.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Man, dude, you have no idea how happy you just
nade me because, like, like I said, like when I
first started watching you, like it was like every single
stream back when you used to have like call screeners
and stuff. I tried to call in, but then I
got too scared and I hung up. But back then
(20:23):
I used to watch literally every single one of your streams.
I'd be chatting in it. So it's like so like
surreal to be on the phone with your right though.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I'm Goldie. Try to try to try to build yourself up.
You're doing a fucking tough thing and you're doing a
pretty good job at it because uh, your kids sound
like they're alive, which is uh, I mean, even doing
that it is hard. So uh, you know, give yourself,
give yourself some credit when you try to make friends
(20:53):
and you just go just don't know. When you're going
about the world in general, you want to have that
mindset about yourself about like, wait, I'm actually kind of awesome.
So do with that information as you please. All right, man, Goldie,
is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Yeah, just love love, come on, chat, love on yourself,
keep this uh stream of love going, swag, do something
nice for yourself.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Thank you so much, Lyle, Thank you Goldi. You have
a good one.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Good luck all right, you too, my Golden.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
I want to join the word search Discord. No, I
actually don't want to do that. I'm not gonna lie
and say I want to do that, but it's because
I don't like word searches. If I liked word searches,
i'd be in the I'd be the fucking head mod
of the word search Discord and then I would have
sex all the time. Hello, Hey, buddy, what's uh what's
(21:58):
your name?
Speaker 4 (21:59):
My name title idle like like American? Yeah, like American idol?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Cool. I like that name. I assume we haven't spoken before,
because I would remember an idol.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
No, yeah, we haven't. I've been watching for a while
and I've been trying to call in. I have a
very specific reason why I'm calling in.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Okay, Well, you texted me and you said I want
to talk about my anger.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
Yeah. I have a lot of pent up anger towards
a you know, specific group online that just like gets
me gone. I'm kind of sicking. I'm sick and tired
of like these food reviewers blowing up, you know, low
key spots, Like just the other day, like there's this
pop up spot, taco spot, very low key nobody knows about.
(22:43):
I'm going through Instagram and I see a fucking food
reviewer with like one hundred and ten thousand mics at
this spot, and I'm like, Fuck, it's gonna be like
ten thousand people at this place now, I gotta wait
in line. Quality is gonna drop because they're trying to
serve Everybody's just like what the.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Fuck why does that upset you that that's that's good,
that's what you want that it's I I hate the
whole like, uh, gatekeeping thing. Don't you want that business
to be doing well?
Speaker 4 (23:12):
I do, but then it inconvenience is me because now
it's just a line and now you know it's people
there and it's just too much, too much going on. Yeah,
I want the business to succeed, but not at the
cost of me.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
But you don't run the business.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
No, I don't.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
It's just how can I say it. I'm just tired
of places that I love to go where it's low key.
Nobody knows. It's just I just like to enjoy it,
enjoy the scenery, you know, but you know people, You
got ignorant people and all these types of people coming
in because you know, all this ship and it's just
too much, you do.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
You do sound very angry. This is not about I
can tell this is not about tacos. There's something else
going it's definitely notice about going on in your life.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
No, nothing that's going on. It's just I'm sick of
the tired of low key spots that I enjoy being
blown up by food reviewers.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
But do use what I don't know. I can. I
have go on to rants to you, and I don't
get food. I don't get it. Do you know what
I mean? You don't know what I mean. I don't
I don't get like, Okay, I'm gonna say a bunch
of things that sound insane. But you know when people
are like, oh, the food at this restaurant is so good,
I'm like, what who cares? There's food everywhere, Like, you
(24:33):
can get a taco at a billion different places.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
It's fine, but it's just you know, the quality of
the taco. It's not just the quality of it's just
the food in general. It's just places that were special
to me are being taken over. I guess you can say.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
That, Yeah you don't. You don't own I don't own it.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
No, I don't. I don't own the police. It's just
safe spots where I can where people who like to
just go and just like all right, yeah, nobody knows
about this spot, let's go here being blown up. That's
my problem.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Where do you live? I live in Pennsylvania, what like
in a big city. Yeah, he in Philly. Yeah, there's
a billion restaurants in Philly. Just go to another place.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
That. No, that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
I don't want to go to another place.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
But you might discover a new place. But you might
discover another new place that you like.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
That is true. But it's just okay, you're right on that.
I can discover a new place. It's just do I
want to open myself up to that new experience?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
What did? I don't understand what you're saying. Why would
you not?
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I don't know. It's this new things scare me.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Well, let's talk about that. That's more interesting to me.
Why do new things scare you? Why does it scare
you to go to a new taco place.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
It's not necessarily taco place. It's just like, I hate
wasting money on bad food, and that's what scares me.
Then I'm just gonna waste money and just not enjoy it. Okay,
you know what is life?
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (26:18):
And everybody likes to Everybody likes to sit there and
enjoy a nice meal. And the meal would be ruined
if you pay a certain price for for disgusting food.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Mm hmm. Yeah, but that's what you gotta do. That's
the cost of Like I actually, I can I tell
you something. I hate reviews. Here's here's what my hot takes. No, No,
I hate okay, I hate review Like when we're about
to okay, here's here's one of my hot takes. Like
(26:51):
if I'm with someone and I'm like, oh, let's try
this restaurant, and they pull out their phone and they
start reading the reviews. I hate that because, to me,
if it's bad, let's just find out. Who cares? I
don't want to Why does every experience have to be
Why do I need the perfect, most amazing thing all
(27:12):
the time, Like if we go to a place and
it's shitty, we'll just find it out by going there.
I hate that I have to like curate my life.
I hate like trying to curate your life so that
you never have any negative experiences ever, or any like
negative food experiences even it's just stupid. It's like, just
(27:34):
go into the restaurant and you pay the money, and
you eat the shitty food, and then you know not
to go there anymore. The reviews. I don't like the
system of like we have to protect ourselves from you know,
it's a real think. I think it's listen and I'm
about to go on a huge this is the most
podcast bro thing I'm gonna say it's part of the
(27:55):
overall pacification of America food reviews. You know what I mean.
It's it's it's a further passification of America that we
feel the need to protect ourselves from eating a shitty burrito.
You can handle the experience of eating a shitty burrito,
and then that's what happens to you. You ate a
(28:15):
shitty burrito, you know, you get upsets, and then you
don't go to that place anymore. I'm being facetious, but
I also do one hundred percent believe everything I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Yeah, it's just, you know, I'm just tired of it,
but I do. Jeraly do thoroughly enjoy talking to you.
It was good to get it off my chest. I
appreciate it and appreciate you answering my call.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Thanks mate, Is there anything else you want to say
to the people of the computer before we go? Idle subscribe? Sweet?
Thank you, adel. I was explaining this to someone the
other day. This is why I don't I like when
people are like, oh, the food in Texas is so like,
the Mexican food in Texas is so great. I'm like,
(29:03):
I'm sure it is, But if you live in like
Rhode Island, there's some fucking Mexican restaurant within fifty miles
a year that's probably pretty good. Is it is the
one in Texas? Is it that much better? I don't know.
(29:26):
Food is food. That's just how I am. I'm not
like a Also, you know, I'm like, I think this
maybe maybe this is because I'm like, I'm a single guy,
you know, so I'm not gonna like like whatever. It's
when people like people like, oh, you live in New York,
you go do you go to all the restaurants? I'm like, no,
I'm a single guy. I'm not gonna like go out
alone to a nice restaurant on a Tuesday night. I don't.
(29:51):
I'm not it. I just don't care. I eat at
like I eat at the grocery store, the bodegas, the
little fast casual whatever things. I also I hate. I also, like,
just on principle, I hate spending money on uh fancy
food with like low purport like low portions. You know,
(30:17):
I like going to a shitty Mexican place where they'll
give me a big fucking burrito for not that much money.
But if it's think it's like a fancy takaria whatever place,
and they give you a tiny thing of chips and
a tiny little whatever and you pay like it's like
thirty dollars. I hate that shit, and I hate I
(30:37):
hate yeah, and I hate reviews. It's like, just eatat
it's okay, you know, go you have a be in
a bad go to eat a bad food. You know
it'll be okay. I like good. I like UH. I
like good reviews of things. Sometimes do I read a review?
I guess I read reviews of uh. I read reviews
(30:59):
of video games? Yeah, okay, all right, maybe it's maybe
I'm you know what, I'm actually kind of a bullshitter
because I read reviews of video games before I play them,
or do do I? I do sometimes? Yeah, you know,
because I don't like to waste my time on it. Okay,
(31:19):
you know what, I take back everything I said. I
think I just I think I just applied it to
this situation because I don't care that much about food.
But when I apply it to something I care about, Yeah, yeah,
I think reviews are good. Hey, everybody, what's up. It's
me Lyle And I'm gonna do the second half of
(31:40):
this episode as a gek mal portion. If that's okay
with you. If that's not okay with you, then uh,
I don't know what to tell you. It's too late,
because I'm gonna I'm gonna do it. I am currently
alone in a room talking into a microphone. I feel good.
(32:00):
I took a Celsius, I took a bathroom break, and
I feel good. I feel ready to talk into a
microphone alone and read some emails and I feel like
I'm talking directly to you guys. What's going on in
my life? I went to Canada. That was nice. New
(32:23):
York in the fall is great. I'm trying to romanticize
my own life. Here's what's going on. This is my
this is the portion of the podcast. I'll do my
therapy for a second. I find myself constantly thinking about
the future, the future, you know, I'm always making plans.
(32:46):
I'm always like, oh, wouldn't it be cool to live here?
One day? Like I go to fucking uh Zillow or whatever,
and I'm like, what's the what's the rent in uh Madison, Wisconsin?
What would it be like to be there? You know,
I'm on the Reddit. I'm looking at other people's lives
on Instagram. And shit, and I'm like, what would it
(33:07):
be like to live that life? What would be like
to do this? What would be like to do that?
And I'm realizing I'm like, I'm fucking thinking about versions
of myself and versions of different versions of life that
are that I'm not even in, and I'm missing my
own life. It's crazy. So I'm trying to romanticize my
(33:27):
own life. So I'm feeling very romantic about this very
moment in which I'm sitting here talking into this uh microphone,
talking to you guys. So I'm going to romanticize the
life I'm currently living right now, however good or bad
it is. When I'm with someone, I'm trying to really
(33:50):
be with them. I'm looking in their eyes. I'm like,
even if I hate them, I'm like, oh, this is nice.
I get to I'm like warmed by the distain I
have for this person. Get I feel alive. I'm like
really diving in all of my emotions. I'm like diving
into them. I'm like, oh, I get to feel angry,
(34:11):
I get to feel I'm getting into a I'm gonna
fight with my landlord, and I'm like, this is exciting.
I get to send an angry email about fixing my
fucking heater. Look at me, I'm engaging with the universe.
I don't know. I'm crazy. All right, let's read some emails.
(34:34):
Let's see here. This is from Waka Hello GEK. My
life is not bad. I'm about to graduate college, I
have a good lady, I'm planning to marry, and a
job that is giving me good experience with decent pay. Recently,
I had a strange dream. In the dream, my parents
were flying out to where I live to visit me,
(34:55):
and their plane suddenly vanishes. But I can remember involves
me trying to process this moment. I don't know what
happened to the plane, but when I learned that my
parents were missing, I was devastated. After some time, I
began to question why I was even sad to begin with,
and I started to reflect on all the problems in
that relationship with my parents. I remember feeling angry for
(35:16):
even considering that. Eventually, some kind of authority came to
me and was about to reveal what happened to my
parent's plane. But then I woke up. My parents are
flying out to the state I live to visit me
and my sister for Thanksgiving, So the timing of this
dream is alarming. I recently asked chat gpt to interpret
(35:36):
the stream for me because it's been stuck on my
mind for a week now. Chat gave me mumbo jumbo
about how it is a reflection of my strained relationship
with my parents. Blah blah blah. What are your thoughts?
Does this sound like a sign that my parents are
going to die? Uh? No, I don't think it's a
sign that your parents are going to die. I don't think. Okay, Like,
(35:57):
there's actually a lot of woo shit that I believe
is completely logical that makes a lot of fucking sense
to me. I and what but and then there's a
lot of woo woo shit that I think is stupid
And with dreams, Like I don't interpret dreams to mean
anything about the about anything external, like they don't. I
(36:21):
don't think they mean shit about the external events of
the universe. So like, no, I don't think that, uh,
this dream means that your parents are gonna die or
that something bad will happen. I don't believe in wu
wuo shit like that. But I totally believe in dreams
being like reflective of the internal state. So it definitely
means you have some anxiety. It's definitely also dreams will
(36:44):
like show you shit that you don't want to admit
to yourself. Like what a perfect example is, like if
you break up with someone and you believe you're fully
over it, your dreams will show you that you're not.
You'll be like, you'll be fucking like fun five months
after a breakup or something like that, and believe you're
totally over it, and then you just have a dream
that you're like holding hands with that person, and your
(37:06):
subconscious is like you're lying to yourself that you're over
this right now, you know. So dreams will like show
you uncomfortable shit, But that doesn't mean any That doesn't
mean shit about the you know your ex girlfriend, you
know she's out living her life, has nothing to do
with your fucking dream. It's just reflects how you feel.
So maybe you feel anxious that about your parents. Maybe
(37:30):
you feel anxious about your parents dying, which is a
legitimate feeling to have. Maybe, yeah, it's probably reflective of
some relationship problems that you have with your parents. It's
probably reflective of some anger of some kind. So I
agree with the chat gpt interpretation of that. But I
(37:55):
don't believe in like signs of external thing. I believe
in signs of internal things. Uh yeah, I mean thinking that.
To think that your dreams are like signs of the universe,
of like events that will happen, that means that means
(38:18):
that you're like God or some shit. You know what
I'm saying. Okay, there's more of this email. That is
the first of two strange experiences I have had at
night recently. The other was last night I could not
fall asleep after watching six episodes of Bob's Burgers. I
turned to YouTube, and I decided to watch a documentary
(38:38):
about the ongoing civil war in Sudan. The documentary explored
the complex landscape of the parties involved in the war. Eventually,
the video talks about a specific skirmish over a town
in which one of the military forces kills hundreds of
civilians and burns everything down. At this point, I had
to stop watching the video. I feel like I somewhat
(39:00):
keep up with global events. I am aware of horrible
things that happen everywhere every day. Human history has an
unmeasurable list of tragedies that have occurred, but for some reason,
I could not go back to watching Bob's Burgers this time.
I feel like I try to typically keep a good
outlook on life, but this makes me feel like I
am so ungrateful for my problems. I get to be
(39:24):
upset at my parents from my childhood and not have
to grieve my entire town being slaughtered and burned to
the ground by an evil dictator. Ghek, am I going crazy?
Why am I suddenly burdened with these thoughts? I'm grateful
for the opportunity to be more appreciative of my place
in this world, But how do I not let this
haunt me? How am I supposed to bring kids into
(39:46):
this evil world one day? Is it not morally wrong
to be responsible for sending the next generation into a
place where so much bad happens? Anyway, I hope this
email reaches you. I enjoy your perspective on things, and
I hope to hear back from you on this. I
have the exact same thoughts, oh man, listen, man, I
(40:06):
have the same fucking thoughts all the time. And uh,
it's very funny because, like, I don't know, I've been
to places where like I've seen like object poverty, and
horrible things, but also like you know, I mean I
live in haven't lived in like New York and LA,
Like you just see that shit outside of your house, uh,
(40:30):
And also like whatever you hear about it and you
see it. Yeah, yeah, you know if you're looking at
if you if you look up from your phone or
down at your phone, yeah, you'll find lots of examples
of horrible things happening, for sure. And that makes you
feel a sense of like, damn, I'm ungrateful for feeling
(40:52):
like shit about my problems. And I've heard people talk
about this, and I've heard people say things like like
sad and this is relative and problems are relative and
this and that and the other thing, and it's like, well,
you know, like people people say like, oh, I think
it's so annoying when I have a problem and then
someone says to me, well, you could be starving in Africa.
(41:14):
It could be worse, like people people get like annoyed
by that. But I I I disagree. I disagree. I
think every problem. I think every problem can totally be
solved by being like, well, at least I'm not you know,
in Sedan getting killed by a dictator. You know, I
(41:35):
think that's real. I hate when people say that that
that is that that's not real. Like if your brave,
if you your girlfriend broke up with you, or you
didn't sell enough necklaces on Etsy or whatever, and someone's like, well,
it could be worse. You could be you know, starving
(41:56):
to death in the streets, and you're like, fuck you,
that's not helpful. I'm like, fuck you, that's really helpful.
You could totally it could totally be worse. I really
try to think about that a lot. So I so
you're not crazy. You're not crazy for believing that your
life is so much better because you don't live in
(42:17):
a country where you could be killed by the government.
I don't think that makes you crazy. But also, at
the end of the day, you got to live your
own life, because I think if you dive too deep
into that, and I've dived really deep into that feeling
of like, well, let me just negate my entire existence
(42:40):
because it could be worse, and that's not helpful either.
That's not helpful either. So you know, I'm working. I'm
pondering this shit with you, and I think it's as
as as is the answer to a lot of shit.
It's a yin yang like hold a good make some
room in your brain for like a dedication. You like,
(43:01):
dedicate a real, nice, solid part of your brain portfolio
twenty thirty forty percent whatever you want delegate a real
solid part of your brain portfolio to. Thank God, I'm
(43:23):
not living in a country that's deeply impoverished in at war. Really, really,
that's worthy brain space to take, So dedicate that, But
don't dedicate the whole brain to it or else or else?
What even are you? You know you're You can't because
(43:46):
you have to engage with your life. And part of
engaging with your life is engaging with your problems and
your conflicts, such as your relationship with your parents. So
you still got to engage in that. You can't. Oh,
it could be worse. Your way out of your problems entirely,
but having a little bit of it could be worse.
(44:06):
I could be living in a bad place and subject
to horrible the horrible things of the universe. Is a
good it's a good thing to keep it in perspective,
But you can't just negate your life. So uh, I
think it's healthy. Uh Okay. And then the part where
you're like, how do I not let this haunt me exactly?
You don't want to let it haunt you. How am
(44:27):
I supposed to bring kids into this evil world one day?
That's another problem is you don't want to look at
the world as evil. You don't. And there's a lot
but you know, there's a lot of fucking people that
I've met and talked to who live One of the
craziest things that I've experienced in my life is like,
(44:49):
I feel like I've been so fucking lucky to live
the life I live, not even just like you know
this the like gecko stuff, but like just outside of that,
just like living in a growing up in like a suburb,
and like having good parents and all these things. And
(45:12):
I feel I feel these feelings of like of like
lack and of like, uh, depression or whatever. And I'll
meet people who've grown up with and have so much
less than I have, and their way and they just
(45:33):
figure out a fucking way to like be happy and
have a really positive outlook on the world. And I'm
like and that and that, and that blows my mind,
so uh. And I say that to mean that there's
probably people whose lives are worse than yours. That don't
(45:56):
think the world is evil. That there's people with who
are who's lives are worse than yours, that have a
better outlook on the planet than you do. And I
know that because I've met people like that, talk to
people like that, And so if they can have a
(46:17):
shittier life than you, and less stuff than you, and
worse problems than you and still not believe the world
is evil, then I think you can too. So I
don't think that. I don't I'm I don't think that
like object doom and being like, oh the world is
an evil, awful, terrible place. Being like, oh the world
(46:40):
is an evil, awful, terrible place is not fucking helpful
to anyone in the same way that being like, dude,
everything is fucking great. Like when you meet a guy
like that who's like, everything's amazing, Everything's awesome. I just
love being alive, and it's like, yeah, because you have
whatever the thing is or maybe or maybe you don't,
maybe it don't. I like a measured thing. I like
(47:04):
a measured perspective of the world of like something in
between those two things of like, yeah, there's some crazy
shit going on. There's a civil war in suitan there's
a horrible poverty and crazy wars and is awful stuff
going on, and you know, it's good to be aware
(47:28):
of that, like but also, like you know, there's a
lot of good stuff happening to people. There's great things
happening all over the world. There's right now, as I'm
right now, as I'm recording this, all over the planet,
there's like two, three, maybe four people who are eating
something and talking to each other. That's happening. That's happening
(47:52):
in an unfathomable amount across the planet Earth right now
is a group of two to four people eating something
and talking to each other. That's kind of amazing, that's
kind of beautiful. So you take this pros and cons
to it, and those four and those four people who
(48:12):
are eating something and talking to each other there they
have their own whatever problem's going on with their life,
but they have also little moments where things are good
and you have to believe that the good outweighs the
bad enough that life's worth living. And we want to
keep doing this, we want to keep doing this enough
(48:34):
that we'll bring a kid here. I've thought about that too, man,
I was thinking about that yesterday. I was i got
to earlier this year. I was in such a dumor
existentialist place that I was. I was on the Wikipedia
page for anti natalism. Maybe I talked about this already,
but yeah, and I was like looking through this like
(48:57):
movement of people who believe that it's like morally wrong
to have children and like bring consciousness into the world.
I was thinking about that. I was like, yeah, I was.
I was feeling really scared yesterday because I was thinking about,
like if I want to have a kid, and I
was like, fuck, that's a terrifying idea to me that
I like bring consciousness into the world and then my
(49:18):
kid is unhappy or feels, uh, you know, has exist
some bad life, and I would feel weirdly responsible for that, Like,
oh fuck, I've brought a new consciousness into this like
kind of difficult thing and now I'm responsible for that.
(49:43):
Like that spooks That spooks me out for sure. But
I think it's gonna be up to me to believe
that this thing that we're experiencing between two Oreo cookies
of fucking oblivion is uh is worth, it is a
cool ride, is a good thing, and that I have
(50:06):
the opportunity to uh like install a positive perspective upon
or dude, try the best I fucking can. I mean,
at the end of the day, you bring a kid
into this world, and you you have, of course a
lot of influences. You have probably the most influence. You'll
be the most influential person to this kid's life. And
(50:31):
you know, I try to do that the best you can.
But then after that, they, you know, develop their own
perception of the world. And that's kind of a beautiful
thing too. But uh, yeah, you have the opportunity to
find your own I guess joy and positive perspective and
like show and like introduce you can't make You can
(50:53):
lead a horse to water, but you can't make it.
You can lead a horse to good vibes, but you
can't make them take it, you know what I mean.
You can introduce your kid to like, oh, hey, this
is a way of looking at the world that I
think is good, and you can't make them take it,
but you can at least be like I tried to
introduce them to it. So is it not morally wrong
(51:13):
to be sending the next generation into a place where
so much bad happens? But also think about it like this,
and I think about it all the time. And I
have been the thing like I've been talking about on
the show of like bad shit has been happening forever.
I mean there's bad things have been happening forever, and
we keep that, we keep doing it, we keep doing it.
(51:35):
This is not new like all the stuff that we're
thinking all the like uh numerism that we're dealing with.
It's not like our problem where it's we have new problems.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
But like.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
You know, think about like whatever nineteen thirty whatever the
fuck being like you know, oh fuck, this Hitler guy
is kind of crazy. Uh, the world? Is it war?
Should we have a kid? I don't know about how
I feel about the world right now. You know, we
figure it out. We just keep we keep figuring it out.
(52:13):
And we've been and I'm pretty confident that we'll keep
figuring it out because we just we keep figuring it
out after like, uh, I mean, isn't that wild? We
people keep even in like fucking places that have experienced
a lot of turmoil, people keep having kids, and they
keep figuring it out, and they keep deciding either logically
(52:38):
or just or biologically their bodies. I mean, we're programmed
to fucking reproduce. We just keep deciding we want to
keep doing it. So the answer to why we keep
deciding that as a species that we want to keep
doing it is beyond me. I think it's just innate.
I think it's just as a species where like sharks,
we just want to We just fucking want to keep
(53:00):
going and we're gonna do it. If you believe yourself
to be part of a eight billion large collective conscious,
we've unanimously, not unanimously, but we've kind of as a
whole decided that we're gonna keep doing this until we can't.
(53:20):
So if you wanna, with whatever individual agency you have,
make a new person and try to raise them to
be one of the good ones, I think that's a
noble thing to do, regardless of would you believe the
(53:41):
current state of the world to be, because there's always
gonna be there's never gonna be a time where something
bad is not happening, and there's never and there's never
gonna be a time where something good's not happening. I
really do believe this is bad. There's so like you,
and that's why I love living in the city because
(54:04):
every day I see, like, if you live in like
a big American city like every day, or I guess
a lot of European cities, there's not a lot of
like a like I don't know, I haven't been to
a lot of Asian cities, but like, uh, I think
in most major places, you walk around and you see
(54:24):
people living in some form of poverty. But then you
also just see like if you if you're if you're
looking for it, go on a walk outside in a
populated area and you just watch like a mom like
walking with their like normal fucking things, like a mom
like walking with their kid and the kid has is
holding a thing, or like two people just like someone
(54:47):
just walking and existing like like, I don't know, there's
good stuff about being alive as well as bad stuff.
I've been ranking about this for too long, but I
hope you understand what I'm kind of trying to say.
All right, Okay, this is from jose Hey Lyle. I'm
(55:07):
an on and off listener, and I want to know
how tall you are. I'm five foot six and a half.
I was five foot seven and then I started telling
the truth. When I go on the day, when I
go on the dating apps, I'm five foot seven. I
can get away with five foot seven. I'm five foot
six and a half. I'm somewhere in between five foot
six and five foot seven, and uh, you know, I
(55:32):
can work with five foot seven. I could work with
five foot six, honestly whatever. I think. I've gone through
ebbs and flows about my height where sometimes I get
really insecure about it, and then other times I'm like,
it's so stupid to be insecure about your height. It
really is. It really is stupid to be insecure about
(55:57):
your height. I sometimes I go to bush I think
I go to Bushwick sometimes and that's a strong Mexican community,
and I think in general Mexican guys are a little shorter.
(56:18):
Walk around Bushwick and I'll see like a five foot
three Mexican guy with a beautiful girlfriend, and I'm like, okay,
you know, we like, this is workable, you can work
with this. Okay, wait, there's another height thing. Okay, here
we go, Yeah, there we go. All right. This is
(56:38):
from Danny, subject line five foot guy with women troubles.
Dear Gek, First and foremost, you and your podcast are wicked.
I've been listening to your show for almost a year now.
It's been such a refreshing way to get new perspectives
on life and hear experiences I'd never come across otherwise.
Having you on in the background during my my team calls, Outlook, Grind,
(57:01):
and daily work routine has made the nine to five
so much more bearable. For context, I'm twenty five years old,
five foot in stature, single and ready to mingle. I
haven't been in a relationship for the past two years.
I mentioned my height because it's been a bit of
a hurdle on dating apps. Being short isn't exactly society's
gold standard for attractiveness, and that can suck sometimes, but
(57:23):
it is what it is. I've been using Tinder and
Hinge for a couple of years. Met my past girlfriend's there, Okay,
fucking we got some. We got some, we got a
track record, and while I do get matches and occasional dates,
there are definitely dry spells. Since moving to a new
city last year, I've only been on two dates. I
feel like I've reached a place where I'm comfortable being alone,
but I still want to find someone to experience life with.
(57:46):
I'm not trying to rush into a relationship just to
check a box. I want it to feel right, so
here's someone in my mind, I matched with a girl,
let's call her April on Hinge. I was attracted to
her and after a few days of texting, we set
up a date. By the way, just like, that's another like, look,
this guy's five feet and he's able to find meet
(58:07):
a lady unhinged. And also, here's another cool thing I
like about this is this guy's not like, uh whatever
cards you were adults on the planet of like height
or whatever whatever it is. It's it's only over when
you when you spiral because you read this guy's email
(58:28):
and this guy like this guy because this guy again,
you can't. Falling into doom is not a good strategy,
as is falling into blind optimism. Look at this guy.
This guy's like, look I because this guy's like, look,
it sucks being short, but it is what it is. Like,
(58:51):
that's a perfect mindset. Because if this guy was like,
I'm foot six, it's over. I'll just I just have
to assume I'm never gonna be happy ever in my life,
then you know that's he's never gonna be anywhere. But look,
he's got a he's a sensible guy. He has some
(59:13):
fucking grip on himself and so he's able to, you know,
meet someone. Okay, I met a girl. We set up
a date. We went thrifting and grabbed a late lunch
an early dinner. I paid, did the gentleman thing. Date
went well, conversation flowed, she was receptive. At the end,
she asked if I wanted to hang out again. I
said yes. Afterwards she texted me a lot of sweet messages,
(59:37):
complimenting me and checking in on my day. I responded
with playful, cute replies. But now I'm not sure how
I feel about her. It feels like she's more into
me than I am into her. Oh my god, look
at this. This is not how where I thought this
email was coming. Don't get me wrong. Being chased is nice,
But I don't know if we see this turning. I
don't know if I see this turning into a long
(59:58):
term relationship. We have a I can date, planned moving
it at her place where young. We have urges. We
might not watch the movie if you catch my drift. Okay,
but I worry about leading her on if I go
through with it, and that thought keeps lingering. Can I
do better? It sounds shallow, but it's there, so I'm
asking for your advice. What should I do? You know, well,
(01:00:24):
the I used, by the way, the whole idea of
like can I do better? Being shallow. Can I do better?
Is not like a when you say can I do better?
It doesn't mean like, uh, I don't think that's like
reflective of the other person. That's a reflective of you.
When you say can I do better, you're not like,
can I do better? In terms of like this person
(01:00:46):
that's standing up, can I find a better person? You're
more like, can I find a person where I feel
a better feeling about them? So I don't think that
that's shallow necessarily, because what's the fucking point, right, Because
if you're like not that into this person, I don't know.
I mean everyone's experiences this shit differently. Some people they
can like be not that into some person and then
(01:01:07):
over time they really like grow with them and they
feel good with them and they kind of get a uh,
they get they get like a positive you know, they
they develop attraction over time. And that could be you,
(01:01:30):
But I don't know, maybe you're maybe you're not that guy.
Have you been that guy in the past, Like you
said you met your past girlfriend's there. Are you a
slow build guy or are you a I know when
I know it guy? If you if you've been a
slow build guy and you kind of feel in your
gut you're like I could, I could be a slow
build guy. I could slowly build attraction, then go for it.
(01:01:52):
But if you're if you know in your gut that
you're not a slow build guy, then I understand wanted
to call it, and I don't. I don't think it's
shallow because I think also, like you want to fucking
be with someone that you want to be with and
you want and so does this fucking this lady wants
to be with someone that wants to be with her.
So I don't think it's shallow to look for a
(01:02:16):
stronger connection. I don't. I don't even think it's reflective
of this lady. I think it's just reflective of like
your own brain. That's That's another thing about like attraction
is it's so it's a lot more complicated I think
than people give it credit for. I mean, obviously, in general,
like if you're more physically attractive, if you're taller, if
you're in better shape, and you know, you get people,
(01:02:38):
more people are going to be attracted to you, but
like there's still a lot of subtleties that make it
so that you can't be too black and white with
this stuff. Uh So that's that's what I suggest you
should do, is decide if you're open to a slow
burn or if you're not, then it's okay to it's
(01:03:00):
okay to withdraw respectfully. Uh let's see here, let's do
one or two more. Uh okay. This is from Malachi.
(01:03:21):
Subject line, I got stalked by a creep in prison.
My name is Malachi aka Invader mal and I wanted
to share a story with you. That's funny now, but
back then it had me shook. I was locked up
in prison and for a minute I had a cell
buddy who called himself Mike that smokes crack. I thought
(01:03:42):
it was just a weird nickname, but it turns out
he was a full blown creep. Dude. Was this fat,
oversized white guy. And at first he told me he
got locked up for breaking into a pharmacy in the daytime,
high on drugs after his girlfriend left him. Sounded believable
until it got weird. One night, I'm asleep in my
bunk and I wake up to this dude literally sitting
(01:04:04):
at the edge of my bed watching me sleep. I
jump up, I go what the hell and he hits
me with, oh, hey, sell, buddy, I was just waiting
for you to wake up. Jes got off the phone
with my pastor bro what So later that day I
told one of my big homies, yes, I'm a gang member.
Tree Top pierro a blood set. I let my og
(01:04:26):
know that Mike was watching me sleep, and he said,
if he do that again, let me know we're gonna
handle it. The funny part. I'm playing spades in the
card room later that week and I run upstairs to
grab my coffee. Mike's in the cell and goes, hey, sell, buddy,
I accidentally showed someone my butt. I'm like what. He
explains he was in the shower, bent over with the
(01:04:48):
curtain wide open, and a Muslim brother saw him. That
Muslim brother threatened to stab him for real. I went
and asked the Muslim brother myself, and he said, Bro
was straight bent over in the shower like he was
in a music video. I was done. So now I'm
thinking something's off. Rumors start going around the unit that
(01:05:11):
he's in for touching boys at a Catholic church. I
asked for his paperwork, and he sends me some fake
nonsense that said breaking and entering. I dig deeper and
find the real charges, multiple counts of molesting boys in
the church. That night I went to bed with a plan,
wake up and get him the hell out of my cell.
I wake up to him again, staring at me, this
(01:05:33):
time sitting on the bunk reading a book like this
was some lifetime movie. I said, nah, not again. I
ran to my og The whole blood set formed up.
We went in that cell, took all his commissary, his food,
and kicked him out barefoot. It was like prison house hunters.
(01:05:53):
He got moved to the old man tier and where
it is. They beat his ass and had him transferred
out to another prison. When I got home, I looked
him up. Everything was true. Not only did he have
those charges, but apparently he used to sleep up in
the rafters at church and wait until the service started
and play with himself. That man was a real life boogieman. So, Gecko,
(01:06:18):
what would you have done in that situation? Dude? I
don't I don't know what would I What would I
have done in that situation? I would have gone to
sleep and been like I'm gonna would I would have
just slept as much as I possibly could. Probably I
(01:06:42):
would have been I would have attempted to be unconscious
as long as humanly possible. I would have read a
book and be like I would have I don't know.
I don't know what I would have done in that situation. Man,
how are you doing now? Matt? Like I call in,
I want to talk to you. You see to make an
interesting guy. I want to hear more more stories about
what's going on with you. If you're listening, I want
(01:07:06):
to I want to hear what's going on. You got
a good you got it?
Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
I like the way you tell stories. Also, yeah, I
feel like I'm only hearing about Mike, who smokes crack.
I want to hear about Malachi. I want to hear
what's going on with you. Let's see here. I think
that's it. I think I think I'm done reading email
(01:07:29):
for now. Thank you guys for listening to the podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it was a
good time for you all.
Speaker 4 (01:07:39):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (01:07:41):
I hope I didn't piss anyone off every time. I
I don't. I think I try to be pretty fair
about the way I do this, But sometimes I'm like,
am I pissing someone off?
Speaker 4 (01:07:53):
Right? Now?
Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
That's the that's the trade off of talking into a
microphone and putting it on the internet, is you can
just piss someone off somehow. I hope I don't do that. Okay,
maybe I should read one more? Should I read one more?
I'll read one more. I'll make the podcast a little
bit longer. Okay, let's see here, Hey GEK call me ismail.
(01:08:18):
Oh the subject line is h I stopped listening to podcasts.
Hey GEK call me ismail. Thanks for all the time
I spent on your podcast because I was depressed and
wouldn't leave my house and had to remember how regular
conversations worked. Now the Lexapro is working, and in a
four month turnaround, I'm sleeping with two people that know
(01:08:40):
about each other and are fine with it and love
biting me. He capitalized all those anything that I said
in that weird voice. He he had fully capitalized. Big
shout out to Lexapro. Glad I'm not dead. I don't
have a whole lot of use for podcasts now that
I quit night shifts at UPS and got my sleep
(01:09:02):
schedule right, started getting some writing done in a coffee
shop and then going up to people that I'd seen
around town, which is possible without lexapro for those interested.
I got back to therapy. Fuck, working out, meds and
sleep is fucking fine. I don't know what that last
part means, but I mean working out it's cool. I
(01:09:22):
always forget that I'm great at talking to people when
I'm hold up in my room. Thanks for getting me
through the night shift. I have listening since episode ten,
but I have to go now. Sorry, and thanks again.
Is Meil, But you know what is mil? I'm I'm
happy to hear. Oh he sent this. He sent this
email a long time. He sent this email months ago,
(01:09:43):
so he's not he's not even gonna hear this. But whatever,
he's he's having sex right now with two people that
know about each other and are fine with it and
love biting him. So that's good. Hmm. Yeah, that happens
to me all the time. Man, Oh God, that hapens
to me all the time. I'll be like, I'll be
like really fucking depressed and like not wanting to talk
(01:10:05):
to anyone, and I'll be like, shit, I think I've
there's been so many times. It happens multiple times a
week where I'm just like, shit, I don't think I
can have a conversation with another human being. I do
it for a living, and I'm just like, fuck, I
don't I can't talk to other people. And then let's
have a day where I'm like, I don't know the
(01:10:26):
fucking vivance hits right or the sun hits right or whatever,
and I'm just like, damn, I forgot that I'm actually
awesome at talking to people. You got to remind yourself
who you are. It's in there, folks. You just got
to remind yourself who you are sometimes, and then you
could end up like Ismail and stop listening to this
podcast as well. No, thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 4 (01:10:50):
I listen.
Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
I don't, I don't, I don't. It's funny because this
kind of harkens back to the very first caller we had.
But uh, I don't, I don't know. I listened to
a lot of podcasts just for like I guess noise,
not so much for like social interaction. I fall asleep
(01:11:15):
every night to podcasts about Nintendo games. I love that shit,
And you know what, I'm gonna go do that right now.
Actually I'm not. It's the morning time. So thank you,
guys for listening to Therapy Gecko. I'm a gecko. I
hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope this was good
for you guys. I hope you enjoyed being here. I
(01:11:37):
enjoyed recording it. I know that much. Thank you all.
Have a good night and have a good What is
it today's Wednesday? Okay, have a good weekend. Everyone, Get blessed,
see you around the universe. Repeat, Get Ghosts on the line,
(01:12:02):
taking your phone calls every night. The repeat, Get ghost
doing his ride. He's teaching you a housing over your life,
but he's not really an expert.
Is this Lyle? Yes?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Who is this.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hid Lyle?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
My name is Goldie, Goldie. What's going on, Goldie? How's life? Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Man, I'm actually I'm crying right now, but so not
the greatest at the moment.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You're quiet? Why are you? Why are you crying?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
It's kind of silly. But so I'm an avid Twitch watcher, Okay,
I love to watch Twitch streams, and uh, I've actually
been watching you for probably like two or three years now. Cool,
(00:51):
So I'm a very big fan. I love your stream, dude.
But but uh, yeah, I'm actually crying because another person
that I watch on here? Can you just ban me? Yeah? Yeah,
(01:19):
from his Twitter community because actually, as it turns out,
I'm already banned on Twitch, so I can't actually chat,
but I do listen, right, Okay, yeah, so but I
(01:42):
I just got banned from his Twitter community and I'm
crying about it.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Okay, all right, let's well let's talk this through. Well,
first of all, why why did you Why do you
think you got banns?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
So I have a lot to say. I'm kind of
I kind of talk too much, I guess, and I
kind of say some outlandish things sometimes, and I think
that he did not want me kind of speaking over
him in his chat.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Okay, is this as like a small streamer.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Usually about like six hundred viewers a stream he has?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Okay, yeah, all right, I mean let's reverse engineer this
in a few ways, because why are you why are
you spending so much time talking in this guy's chat?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, I mean they sometimes they call me a parasocial okay,
because yeah, I'm not exactly one hundred percent sure what
that means, but I think it's.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Like, like I where I believe that I'm closer to
him than I really am.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
A parasolic relationship is like a relationship that you form,
is like a one sided relationship you form with someone
that you don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah, yeah, that's definitely what I'm kind of doing. I
don't really have many Actually I don't have any friends
in real life.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I kind of use twitch as a platform where I
can connect with people since I don't really have a
way to do that in real life.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay, why do you feel like you don't have any friends?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Well, I'm a single mom, though I kind of lost
most of my friends after becoming a mom.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And then.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I never made any new ones after I lost all
my friends.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Where were your friends from? Like? Where or were they
from like high school?
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Mostly?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Uh, high school. I never really had many friends, but
the few of them that I had were from school.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
M you know, I'm not fully opposed to using online
communities to make friends. I'm not fully opposed to it.
I think that Well, Like when I first was twitch streaming,
I was a little worried about parasocial relationships. I was
(05:05):
worried that people were like finding you know, I mean,
I don't think parasocial relationships are are They kind of
depend on intensity. I mean I have parasocial relationships with
people that I, you know, listen to a lot or
watch a lot, you know, I've you know, kind of
form ideas of who they are, and you know, they
(05:26):
they maybe uh their work speaks to me in ways
that make me feel very understood. But I don't I
don't ever, I don't let that go to to a
place where I like feel like they're you know, I
maybe have a reverence for their work and what they
have to say and whatnot. By I don't let that
(05:48):
cross into a territory of like they are part of
my social life in any way, shape or form. And
I was kind of worried about that when I first
started streaming, But then I I noticed on Discord and
even like in my twitch chat that people independent of
me were like making friends with each other, and that
became those became like, those weren't parasocial relationships. Those were
(06:11):
real uh you know, albeit online, but they were They
were real relationships that people formed with each other, and
I thought that was cool. And I'm not against that
because I've actually seen a lot of situations both you know,
in my Gecko universe and in like anecdotally in real
(06:31):
life where people have relationships like that that turn into
like real friendships. And I'm not I'm not opposed to that.
I'm opposed to like I'm opposed to like like making
friends with an AI chatbot or trying to feel like
(06:53):
a streamer is like your friends. But I I the
the space between of like, you know, I chat with
this person who lives in uh, Wisconsin, and I'm in
Florida or whatever. I don't think that that's all that bad.
(07:13):
And if that's where your life is and that's where
your comfortability is and that's where you need to start,
I don't think that that's the worst thing in the world.
But I guess ultimately you'd want to form a forign
friendships in real life. And it's I get why it's
I get why it's hard for you as a as
(07:33):
a single mom. You know, it's a lot of responsibility.
Is there a kid? Yes, By the way, you sound
like you're you sound like, uh, you sound like you're
out in Are you out in public somewhere?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
No, I'm actually in my room. I'm pacing back and
forth in my room right now, and my little baby
just came in here and he wants me now, So I'm.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Like, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
But but about what you were saying is, yeah, like
the thing about the parasocial relationships is like there's no
form of like, uh the what's that word recipprosity? Yes, yeah,
so there's no Really, I'm not really getting anything out
(08:25):
of these relationships of course, other than you know, it's
kind of like an imaginary relationship in a way. So
I definitely wish that I could find friends in real life.
I'm just like kind of like an awkward person, So
I don't know if I don't really know.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
How to do that.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Well, you can find friends in real life even if
you're an awkward person. You, I really do you can
find friends in real life being exactly as you are,
because I don't like I think like real friendship is
(09:12):
mostly this is like really boring. But most friendship is
truthfully more about repeated exposure than it is about any
form of It's repeated exposure with like a little bit
of compatibility, but I think it's mainly about repeated exposure
(09:34):
than it is compatibility. And if you're awkward, but you
have repeated exposure with like the same group of people,
you'll be you'll start to you'll be less awkward because
you get more comfortable with them because of that repeated exposure.
So it's like, well, where do you get that repeated
exposure is the main question. And it's hard for you
because you got to you got a lot going on,
(09:55):
But uh yeah, it's possible, And it's possible to do
it online too. Like when you were in this guy's
Twitch community, were you were you just like sending our
messages to the void or were you talking to other people.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Mostly like I would. I would interact with the other
chatters once in a while, but I would mainly comment
on his stream and what he was doing, sometimes say
like jokes here and there. The guy that I was watching,
(10:30):
he kind of felt like the things that I would
say were me trying to like outshine him in a way,
I think, and he, I guess he wanted to, uh
basically had more control over his community and what was
(10:53):
being said in his chat. And I don't know, maybe
he just got the wrong idea about me. But yeah,
sorry if it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
No, it it makes perfect sense. But I don't think
but it's I don't think it's the thing to be
focused on, right because well, I mean what I what
I want to see, what I'd like to see for
you is to uh build up a better like social life,
(11:29):
whether it's on the internet with other real people or
with real people in real life, but less of this
thing of you know, where it's you and like a streamer.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
You know, yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
And it's one thing if you like what they have
to say and you like having them as background noise,
you know, because I I have there's people that you know,
I listened to Stavros' podcast all the time. I listen
to a lot of different podcasts that I have on
and ship and you know, but like I don't you know,
but you got to have like a healthy, like, uh,
(12:07):
real social life. Have you made any have you made
any attempts to do that or like what would those
and what have those attempts looked like?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Not? Actually, not at all recently, like I would say,
probably within the past couple years or so. Like, I
haven't really tried to go out of my shell when
I when I'm in public, which is usually like the
grocery store, I avoid eye contact with everyone and I
(12:53):
just kind of go in and get out as fast
as I can. So I I don't really leave that
open for opportunity.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Well, are there areas in which you would feel more comfortable?
Like what are your what are your hobbies? What do
you like to do?
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I like to draw, and I like to paint, and
I do word searches every now and then. But I
don't imagine that the word search community is easy to find.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Sure, we could find the word search community the fucking
probably plenty of any anything that you would do, there's
like a discord of people who are also doing it.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Hmmm, I think that you should definitely go out in
search of like online communities that are related to what
you like. To do. How's being a mom?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Uh, it's it's amazing because my kids really just like
bring joy and just love and light to my life,
and my whole world revolves around them, which has its
pros and cons. But and there, my kid's dad is
(14:43):
not in the picture, but he definitely tries to be.
And our relationship was not the greatest, so it's kind
of rough because I have to see him and uh,
he kind of left, like left me in a dark place,
(15:07):
and he's kind of like controlling. So it's it has
its pros and cons, but I would say it has
mostly pros.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
M Hm.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Why why is your guys' relationship strained?
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Well, he's just he's always been very controlling and manipulative,
and I'm uh, I don't I honestly don't even really
know how to put it because.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
He just.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Ye for a while, he would try to make me
feel like I was crazy and and anything. Anytime I
try to come forward about anything that he does wrong,
he shuts me down completely. So I don't even really
know how to describe it.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
It's yeah, it goes pretty deep, which probably didn't need
real therapy for.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But what's your what's your your kid sounds like he's
running around ding a bunch of stuff in the background.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Was he up?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Was he?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
What's he doing right now?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
My bed is just covered and I was cleaning my kitchen,
so I took everything off the top of the microwave
and put it on my bed. And now they're just
going through that all that. I actually have a little
baby and an older four year old, so they're just
(16:52):
going through everything right now. But it's okay, man.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
So you're juggling with fucking two kids. Are you you
live do you Is it just you and the two
kids or do you live with your folks? Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
No, it's just us, just me, boys and.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
My cat man. You're holding you're holding that fucking ship down, dude.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Thanks man. I try my best.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
That's hard, that's that's really that's tough doing that. And
what do you work?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I do not at the moment. I am looking for
a job. I actually applied at the hospital near me
to do like like you know, the people that bring
you your food at the hospital. Yeah, I applied to
do that and then I got denied. So try a
(17:49):
different angle.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Mm hmm, goldie, goldie, Goldie. Damn, you're holding that fucking
ship down, Goldie. I respect you, I really do. I
respect you. This is you're holding You're holding out a
lot of ship dude. I want you know, and I'm
not I really I don't want to say this as
a way of uh, I'm not trying to be like,
(18:11):
uh motivational speaker type of type ship, but uh, get
just give yourself some credit, man, I mean I hope
throughout throughout whatever it is, like, give yourself some credit.
I mean, you're what you're doing is uh is a
wild undertaking. It's really that sounds so hard. Uh, you know,
(18:33):
dealing with like a fucking uh you know, uncooperative, uncooperative father,
you know, taking care of two kids on your own,
working you know, dealing with I mean that's tough man.
So you know, uh, have have some have some compassion
(18:56):
for yourself as you never like do like it like
do both things at once, Like have some compassion for yourself,
you know, because what you're doing is hard, but also
like like look at yourself in the mirror and be like,
I'm fucking killing it right now. I'm doing I'm doing
pretty good job at this like hard thing. Like because
(19:17):
you because you I don't know it's from from what
you said about like, oh, I feel awkward if like
I can't look people in the eye. Like, uh, you
didn't say it out right, but I don't know if
you're dealing with any kind of like self confidence issues,
but like take a second to look at yourself and
be like, wait, I'm actually kind of sick right now,
you know, like I'm dealing with all this shit, but
(19:38):
I'm still I'm holding it down, you know, like walk
around with it like that's what you should be walking
around with and not like, oh I'm weird and I
don't I can't fit into the planet.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah. Yeah, you got it down for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
You got it down. You got it down.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Man, dude, you have no idea how happy you just
nade me because, like, like I said, like when I
first started watching you, like it was like every single
stream back when you used to have like call screeners
and stuff. I tried to call in, but then I
got too scared and I hung up. But back then
(20:23):
I used to watch literally every single one of your streams.
I'd be chatting in it. So it's like so like
surreal to be on the phone with your right though.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I'm Goldie. Try to try to try to build yourself up.
You're doing a fucking tough thing and you're doing a
pretty good job at it because uh, your kids sound
like they're alive, which is uh, I mean, even doing
that it is hard. So uh, you know, give yourself,
give yourself some credit when you try to make friends
(20:53):
and you just go just don't know. When you're going
about the world in general, you want to have that
mindset about yourself about like, wait, I'm actually kind of awesome.
So do with that information as you please. All right, man, Goldie,
is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Yeah, just love love, come on, chat, love on yourself,
keep this uh stream of love going, swag, do something
nice for yourself.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Thank you so much, Lyle, Thank you Goldi. You have
a good one.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Good luck all right, you too, my Golden.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
I want to join the word search Discord. No, I
actually don't want to do that. I'm not gonna lie
and say I want to do that, but it's because
I don't like word searches. If I liked word searches,
i'd be in the I'd be the fucking head mod
of the word search Discord and then I would have
sex all the time. Hello, Hey, buddy, what's uh what's
(21:58):
your name?
Speaker 4 (21:59):
My name title idle like like American? Yeah, like American idol?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Cool. I like that name. I assume we haven't spoken before,
because I would remember an idol.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
No, yeah, we haven't. I've been watching for a while
and I've been trying to call in. I have a
very specific reason why I'm calling in.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Okay, Well, you texted me and you said I want
to talk about my anger.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
Yeah. I have a lot of pent up anger towards
a you know, specific group online that just like gets
me gone. I'm kind of sicking. I'm sick and tired
of like these food reviewers blowing up, you know, low
key spots, Like just the other day, like there's this
pop up spot, taco spot, very low key nobody knows about.
(22:43):
I'm going through Instagram and I see a fucking food
reviewer with like one hundred and ten thousand mics at
this spot, and I'm like, Fuck, it's gonna be like
ten thousand people at this place now, I gotta wait
in line. Quality is gonna drop because they're trying to
serve Everybody's just like what the.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Fuck why does that upset you that that's that's good,
that's what you want that it's I I hate the
whole like, uh, gatekeeping thing. Don't you want that business
to be doing well?
Speaker 4 (23:12):
I do, but then it inconvenience is me because now
it's just a line and now you know it's people
there and it's just too much, too much going on. Yeah,
I want the business to succeed, but not at the
cost of me.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
But you don't run the business.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
No, I don't.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
It's just how can I say it. I'm just tired
of places that I love to go where it's low key.
Nobody knows. It's just I just like to enjoy it,
enjoy the scenery, you know, but you know people, You
got ignorant people and all these types of people coming
in because you know, all this ship and it's just
too much, you do.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
You do sound very angry. This is not about I
can tell this is not about tacos. There's something else
going it's definitely notice about going on in your life.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
No, nothing that's going on. It's just I'm sick of
the tired of low key spots that I enjoy being
blown up by food reviewers.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
But do use what I don't know. I can. I
have go on to rants to you, and I don't
get food. I don't get it. Do you know what
I mean? You don't know what I mean. I don't
I don't get like, Okay, I'm gonna say a bunch
of things that sound insane. But you know when people
are like, oh, the food at this restaurant is so good,
I'm like, what who cares? There's food everywhere, Like, you
(24:33):
can get a taco at a billion different places.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
It's fine, but it's just you know, the quality of
the taco. It's not just the quality of it's just
the food in general. It's just places that were special
to me are being taken over. I guess you can say.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
That, Yeah you don't. You don't own I don't own it.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
No, I don't. I don't own the police. It's just
safe spots where I can where people who like to
just go and just like all right, yeah, nobody knows
about this spot, let's go here being blown up. That's
my problem.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Where do you live? I live in Pennsylvania, what like
in a big city. Yeah, he in Philly. Yeah, there's
a billion restaurants in Philly. Just go to another place.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
That. No, that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
I don't want to go to another place.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
But you might discover a new place. But you might
discover another new place that you like.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
That is true. But it's just okay, you're right on that.
I can discover a new place. It's just do I
want to open myself up to that new experience?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
What did? I don't understand what you're saying. Why would
you not?
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I don't know. It's this new things scare me.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Well, let's talk about that. That's more interesting to me.
Why do new things scare you? Why does it scare
you to go to a new taco place.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
It's not necessarily taco place. It's just like, I hate
wasting money on bad food, and that's what scares me.
Then I'm just gonna waste money and just not enjoy it. Okay,
you know what is life?
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (26:18):
And everybody likes to Everybody likes to sit there and
enjoy a nice meal. And the meal would be ruined
if you pay a certain price for for disgusting food.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Mm hmm. Yeah, but that's what you gotta do. That's
the cost of Like I actually, I can I tell
you something. I hate reviews. Here's here's what my hot takes. No, No,
I hate okay, I hate review Like when we're about
to okay, here's here's one of my hot takes. Like
(26:51):
if I'm with someone and I'm like, oh, let's try
this restaurant, and they pull out their phone and they
start reading the reviews. I hate that because, to me,
if it's bad, let's just find out. Who cares? I
don't want to Why does every experience have to be
Why do I need the perfect, most amazing thing all
(27:12):
the time, Like if we go to a place and
it's shitty, we'll just find it out by going there.
I hate that I have to like curate my life.
I hate like trying to curate your life so that
you never have any negative experiences ever, or any like
negative food experiences even it's just stupid. It's like, just
(27:34):
go into the restaurant and you pay the money, and
you eat the shitty food, and then you know not
to go there anymore. The reviews. I don't like the
system of like we have to protect ourselves from you know,
it's a real think. I think it's listen and I'm
about to go on a huge this is the most
podcast bro thing I'm gonna say it's part of the
(27:55):
overall pacification of America food reviews. You know what I mean.
It's it's it's a further passification of America that we
feel the need to protect ourselves from eating a shitty burrito.
You can handle the experience of eating a shitty burrito,
and then that's what happens to you. You ate a
(28:15):
shitty burrito, you know, you get upsets, and then you
don't go to that place anymore. I'm being facetious, but
I also do one hundred percent believe everything I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Yeah, it's just, you know, I'm just tired of it,
but I do. Jeraly do thoroughly enjoy talking to you.
It was good to get it off my chest. I
appreciate it and appreciate you answering my call.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Thanks mate, Is there anything else you want to say
to the people of the computer before we go? Idle subscribe? Sweet?
Thank you, adel. I was explaining this to someone the
other day. This is why I don't I like when
people are like, oh, the food in Texas is so like,
the Mexican food in Texas is so great. I'm like,
(29:03):
I'm sure it is, But if you live in like
Rhode Island, there's some fucking Mexican restaurant within fifty miles
a year that's probably pretty good. Is it is the
one in Texas? Is it that much better? I don't know.
(29:26):
Food is food. That's just how I am. I'm not
like a Also, you know, I'm like, I think this
maybe maybe this is because I'm like, I'm a single guy,
you know, so I'm not gonna like like whatever. It's
when people like people like, oh, you live in New York,
you go do you go to all the restaurants? I'm like, no,
I'm a single guy. I'm not gonna like go out
alone to a nice restaurant on a Tuesday night. I don't.
(29:51):
I'm not it. I just don't care. I eat at
like I eat at the grocery store, the bodegas, the
little fast casual whatever things. I also I hate. I also, like,
just on principle, I hate spending money on uh fancy
food with like low purport like low portions. You know,
(30:17):
I like going to a shitty Mexican place where they'll
give me a big fucking burrito for not that much money.
But if it's think it's like a fancy takaria whatever place,
and they give you a tiny thing of chips and
a tiny little whatever and you pay like it's like
thirty dollars. I hate that shit, and I hate I
(30:37):
hate yeah, and I hate reviews. It's like, just eatat
it's okay, you know, go you have a be in
a bad go to eat a bad food. You know
it'll be okay. I like good. I like UH. I
like good reviews of things. Sometimes do I read a review?
I guess I read reviews of uh. I read reviews
(30:59):
of video games? Yeah, okay, all right, maybe it's maybe
I'm you know what, I'm actually kind of a bullshitter
because I read reviews of video games before I play them,
or do do I? I do sometimes? Yeah, you know,
because I don't like to waste my time on it. Okay,
(31:19):
you know what, I take back everything I said. I
think I just I think I just applied it to
this situation because I don't care that much about food.
But when I apply it to something I care about, Yeah, yeah,
I think reviews are good. Hey, everybody, what's up. It's
me Lyle And I'm gonna do the second half of
(31:40):
this episode as a gek mal portion. If that's okay
with you. If that's not okay with you, then uh,
I don't know what to tell you. It's too late,
because I'm gonna I'm gonna do it. I am currently
alone in a room talking into a microphone. I feel good.
(32:00):
I took a Celsius, I took a bathroom break, and
I feel good. I feel ready to talk into a
microphone alone and read some emails and I feel like
I'm talking directly to you guys. What's going on in
my life? I went to Canada. That was nice. New
(32:23):
York in the fall is great. I'm trying to romanticize
my own life. Here's what's going on. This is my
this is the portion of the podcast. I'll do my
therapy for a second. I find myself constantly thinking about
the future, the future, you know, I'm always making plans.
(32:46):
I'm always like, oh, wouldn't it be cool to live here?
One day? Like I go to fucking uh Zillow or whatever,
and I'm like, what's the what's the rent in uh Madison, Wisconsin?
What would it be like to be there? You know,
I'm on the Reddit. I'm looking at other people's lives
on Instagram. And shit, and I'm like, what would it
(33:07):
be like to live that life? What would be like
to do this? What would be like to do that?
And I'm realizing I'm like, I'm fucking thinking about versions
of myself and versions of different versions of life that
are that I'm not even in, and I'm missing my
own life. It's crazy. So I'm trying to romanticize my
(33:27):
own life. So I'm feeling very romantic about this very
moment in which I'm sitting here talking into this uh microphone,
talking to you guys. So I'm going to romanticize the
life I'm currently living right now, however good or bad
it is. When I'm with someone, I'm trying to really
(33:50):
be with them. I'm looking in their eyes. I'm like,
even if I hate them, I'm like, oh, this is nice.
I get to I'm like warmed by the distain I
have for this person. Get I feel alive. I'm like
really diving in all of my emotions. I'm like diving
into them. I'm like, oh, I get to feel angry,
(34:11):
I get to feel I'm getting into a I'm gonna
fight with my landlord, and I'm like, this is exciting.
I get to send an angry email about fixing my
fucking heater. Look at me, I'm engaging with the universe.
I don't know. I'm crazy. All right, let's read some emails.
(34:34):
Let's see here. This is from Waka Hello GEK. My
life is not bad. I'm about to graduate college, I
have a good lady, I'm planning to marry, and a
job that is giving me good experience with decent pay. Recently,
I had a strange dream. In the dream, my parents
were flying out to where I live to visit me,
(34:55):
and their plane suddenly vanishes. But I can remember involves
me trying to process this moment. I don't know what
happened to the plane, but when I learned that my
parents were missing, I was devastated. After some time, I
began to question why I was even sad to begin with,
and I started to reflect on all the problems in
that relationship with my parents. I remember feeling angry for
(35:16):
even considering that. Eventually, some kind of authority came to
me and was about to reveal what happened to my
parent's plane. But then I woke up. My parents are
flying out to the state I live to visit me
and my sister for Thanksgiving, So the timing of this
dream is alarming. I recently asked chat gpt to interpret
(35:36):
the stream for me because it's been stuck on my
mind for a week now. Chat gave me mumbo jumbo
about how it is a reflection of my strained relationship
with my parents. Blah blah blah. What are your thoughts?
Does this sound like a sign that my parents are
going to die? Uh? No, I don't think it's a
sign that your parents are going to die. I don't think. Okay, Like,
(35:57):
there's actually a lot of woo shit that I believe
is completely logical that makes a lot of fucking sense
to me. I and what but and then there's a
lot of woo woo shit that I think is stupid
And with dreams, Like I don't interpret dreams to mean
anything about the about anything external, like they don't. I
(36:21):
don't think they mean shit about the external events of
the universe. So like, no, I don't think that, uh,
this dream means that your parents are gonna die or
that something bad will happen. I don't believe in wu
wuo shit like that. But I totally believe in dreams
being like reflective of the internal state. So it definitely
means you have some anxiety. It's definitely also dreams will
(36:44):
like show you shit that you don't want to admit
to yourself. Like what a perfect example is, like if
you break up with someone and you believe you're fully
over it, your dreams will show you that you're not.
You'll be like, you'll be fucking like fun five months
after a breakup or something like that, and believe you're
totally over it, and then you just have a dream
that you're like holding hands with that person, and your
(37:06):
subconscious is like you're lying to yourself that you're over
this right now, you know. So dreams will like show
you uncomfortable shit, But that doesn't mean any That doesn't
mean shit about the you know your ex girlfriend, you
know she's out living her life, has nothing to do
with your fucking dream. It's just reflects how you feel.
So maybe you feel anxious that about your parents. Maybe
(37:30):
you feel anxious about your parents dying, which is a
legitimate feeling to have. Maybe, yeah, it's probably reflective of
some relationship problems that you have with your parents. It's
probably reflective of some anger of some kind. So I
agree with the chat gpt interpretation of that. But I
(37:55):
don't believe in like signs of external thing. I believe
in signs of internal things. Uh yeah, I mean thinking that.
To think that your dreams are like signs of the universe,
of like events that will happen, that means that means
(38:18):
that you're like God or some shit. You know what
I'm saying. Okay, there's more of this email. That is
the first of two strange experiences I have had at
night recently. The other was last night I could not
fall asleep after watching six episodes of Bob's Burgers. I
turned to YouTube, and I decided to watch a documentary
(38:38):
about the ongoing civil war in Sudan. The documentary explored
the complex landscape of the parties involved in the war. Eventually,
the video talks about a specific skirmish over a town
in which one of the military forces kills hundreds of
civilians and burns everything down. At this point, I had
to stop watching the video. I feel like I somewhat
(39:00):
keep up with global events. I am aware of horrible
things that happen everywhere every day. Human history has an
unmeasurable list of tragedies that have occurred, but for some reason,
I could not go back to watching Bob's Burgers this time.
I feel like I try to typically keep a good
outlook on life, but this makes me feel like I
am so ungrateful for my problems. I get to be
(39:24):
upset at my parents from my childhood and not have
to grieve my entire town being slaughtered and burned to
the ground by an evil dictator. Ghek, am I going crazy?
Why am I suddenly burdened with these thoughts? I'm grateful
for the opportunity to be more appreciative of my place
in this world, But how do I not let this
haunt me? How am I supposed to bring kids into
(39:46):
this evil world one day? Is it not morally wrong
to be responsible for sending the next generation into a
place where so much bad happens? Anyway, I hope this
email reaches you. I enjoy your perspective on things, and
I hope to hear back from you on this. I
have the exact same thoughts, oh man, listen, man, I
(40:06):
have the same fucking thoughts all the time. And uh,
it's very funny because, like, I don't know, I've been
to places where like I've seen like object poverty, and
horrible things, but also like you know, I mean I
live in haven't lived in like New York and LA,
Like you just see that shit outside of your house, uh,
(40:30):
And also like whatever you hear about it and you
see it. Yeah, yeah, you know if you're looking at
if you if you look up from your phone or
down at your phone, yeah, you'll find lots of examples
of horrible things happening, for sure. And that makes you
feel a sense of like, damn, I'm ungrateful for feeling
(40:52):
like shit about my problems. And I've heard people talk
about this, and I've heard people say things like like
sad and this is relative and problems are relative and
this and that and the other thing, and it's like, well,
you know, like people people say like, oh, I think
it's so annoying when I have a problem and then
someone says to me, well, you could be starving in Africa.
(41:14):
It could be worse, like people people get like annoyed
by that. But I I I disagree. I disagree. I
think every problem. I think every problem can totally be
solved by being like, well, at least I'm not you know,
in Sedan getting killed by a dictator. You know, I
(41:35):
think that's real. I hate when people say that that
that is that that's not real. Like if your brave,
if you your girlfriend broke up with you, or you
didn't sell enough necklaces on Etsy or whatever, and someone's like, well,
it could be worse. You could be you know, starving
(41:56):
to death in the streets, and you're like, fuck you,
that's not helpful. I'm like, fuck you, that's really helpful.
You could totally it could totally be worse. I really
try to think about that a lot. So I so
you're not crazy. You're not crazy for believing that your
life is so much better because you don't live in
(42:17):
a country where you could be killed by the government.
I don't think that makes you crazy. But also, at
the end of the day, you got to live your
own life, because I think if you dive too deep
into that, and I've dived really deep into that feeling
of like, well, let me just negate my entire existence
(42:40):
because it could be worse, and that's not helpful either.
That's not helpful either. So you know, I'm working. I'm
pondering this shit with you, and I think it's as
as as is the answer to a lot of shit.
It's a yin yang like hold a good make some
room in your brain for like a dedication. You like,
(43:01):
dedicate a real, nice, solid part of your brain portfolio
twenty thirty forty percent whatever you want delegate a real
solid part of your brain portfolio to. Thank God, I'm
(43:23):
not living in a country that's deeply impoverished in at war. Really, really,
that's worthy brain space to take, So dedicate that, But
don't dedicate the whole brain to it or else or else?
What even are you? You know you're You can't because
(43:46):
you have to engage with your life. And part of
engaging with your life is engaging with your problems and
your conflicts, such as your relationship with your parents. So
you still got to engage in that. You can't. Oh,
it could be worse. Your way out of your problems entirely,
but having a little bit of it could be worse.
(44:06):
I could be living in a bad place and subject
to horrible the horrible things of the universe. Is a
good it's a good thing to keep it in perspective,
But you can't just negate your life. So uh, I
think it's healthy. Uh Okay. And then the part where
you're like, how do I not let this haunt me exactly?
You don't want to let it haunt you. How am
(44:27):
I supposed to bring kids into this evil world one day?
That's another problem is you don't want to look at
the world as evil. You don't. And there's a lot
but you know, there's a lot of fucking people that
I've met and talked to who live One of the
craziest things that I've experienced in my life is like,
(44:49):
I feel like I've been so fucking lucky to live
the life I live, not even just like you know
this the like gecko stuff, but like just outside of that,
just like living in a growing up in like a suburb,
and like having good parents and all these things. And
(45:12):
I feel I feel these feelings of like of like
lack and of like, uh, depression or whatever. And I'll
meet people who've grown up with and have so much
less than I have, and their way and they just
(45:33):
figure out a fucking way to like be happy and
have a really positive outlook on the world. And I'm
like and that and that, and that blows my mind,
so uh. And I say that to mean that there's
probably people whose lives are worse than yours. That don't
(45:56):
think the world is evil. That there's people with who
are who's lives are worse than yours, that have a
better outlook on the planet than you do. And I
know that because I've met people like that, talk to
people like that, And so if they can have a
(46:17):
shittier life than you, and less stuff than you, and
worse problems than you and still not believe the world
is evil, then I think you can too. So I
don't think that. I don't I'm I don't think that
like object doom and being like, oh the world is
an evil, awful, terrible place. Being like, oh the world
(46:40):
is an evil, awful, terrible place is not fucking helpful
to anyone in the same way that being like, dude,
everything is fucking great. Like when you meet a guy
like that who's like, everything's amazing, Everything's awesome. I just
love being alive, and it's like, yeah, because you have
whatever the thing is or maybe or maybe you don't,
maybe it don't. I like a measured thing. I like
(47:04):
a measured perspective of the world of like something in
between those two things of like, yeah, there's some crazy
shit going on. There's a civil war in suitan there's
a horrible poverty and crazy wars and is awful stuff
going on, and you know, it's good to be aware
(47:28):
of that, like but also, like you know, there's a
lot of good stuff happening to people. There's great things
happening all over the world. There's right now, as I'm
right now, as I'm recording this, all over the planet,
there's like two, three, maybe four people who are eating
something and talking to each other. That's happening. That's happening
(47:52):
in an unfathomable amount across the planet Earth right now
is a group of two to four people eating something
and talking to each other. That's kind of amazing, that's
kind of beautiful. So you take this pros and cons
to it, and those four and those four people who
(48:12):
are eating something and talking to each other there they
have their own whatever problem's going on with their life,
but they have also little moments where things are good
and you have to believe that the good outweighs the
bad enough that life's worth living. And we want to
keep doing this, we want to keep doing this enough
(48:34):
that we'll bring a kid here. I've thought about that too, man,
I was thinking about that yesterday. I was i got
to earlier this year. I was in such a dumor
existentialist place that I was. I was on the Wikipedia
page for anti natalism. Maybe I talked about this already,
but yeah, and I was like looking through this like
(48:57):
movement of people who believe that it's like morally wrong
to have children and like bring consciousness into the world.
I was thinking about that. I was like, yeah, I was.
I was feeling really scared yesterday because I was thinking about,
like if I want to have a kid, and I
was like, fuck, that's a terrifying idea to me that
I like bring consciousness into the world and then my
(49:18):
kid is unhappy or feels, uh, you know, has exist
some bad life, and I would feel weirdly responsible for that, Like,
oh fuck, I've brought a new consciousness into this like
kind of difficult thing and now I'm responsible for that.
(49:43):
Like that spooks That spooks me out for sure. But
I think it's gonna be up to me to believe
that this thing that we're experiencing between two Oreo cookies
of fucking oblivion is uh is worth, it is a
cool ride, is a good thing, and that I have
(50:06):
the opportunity to uh like install a positive perspective upon
or dude, try the best I fucking can. I mean,
at the end of the day, you bring a kid
into this world, and you you have, of course a
lot of influences. You have probably the most influence. You'll
be the most influential person to this kid's life. And
(50:31):
you know, I try to do that the best you can.
But then after that, they, you know, develop their own
perception of the world. And that's kind of a beautiful
thing too. But uh, yeah, you have the opportunity to
find your own I guess joy and positive perspective and
like show and like introduce you can't make You can
(50:53):
lead a horse to water, but you can't make it.
You can lead a horse to good vibes, but you
can't make them take it, you know what I mean.
You can introduce your kid to like, oh, hey, this
is a way of looking at the world that I
think is good, and you can't make them take it,
but you can at least be like I tried to
introduce them to it. So is it not morally wrong
(51:13):
to be sending the next generation into a place where
so much bad happens? But also think about it like this,
and I think about it all the time. And I
have been the thing like I've been talking about on
the show of like bad shit has been happening forever.
I mean there's bad things have been happening forever, and
we keep that, we keep doing it, we keep doing it.
(51:35):
This is not new like all the stuff that we're
thinking all the like uh numerism that we're dealing with.
It's not like our problem where it's we have new problems.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
But like.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
You know, think about like whatever nineteen thirty whatever the
fuck being like you know, oh fuck, this Hitler guy
is kind of crazy. Uh, the world? Is it war?
Should we have a kid? I don't know about how
I feel about the world right now. You know, we
figure it out. We just keep we keep figuring it out.
(52:13):
And we've been and I'm pretty confident that we'll keep
figuring it out because we just we keep figuring it
out after like, uh, I mean, isn't that wild? We
people keep even in like fucking places that have experienced
a lot of turmoil, people keep having kids, and they
keep figuring it out, and they keep deciding either logically
(52:38):
or just or biologically their bodies. I mean, we're programmed
to fucking reproduce. We just keep deciding we want to
keep doing it. So the answer to why we keep
deciding that as a species that we want to keep
doing it is beyond me. I think it's just innate.
I think it's just as a species where like sharks,
we just want to We just fucking want to keep
(53:00):
going and we're gonna do it. If you believe yourself
to be part of a eight billion large collective conscious,
we've unanimously, not unanimously, but we've kind of as a
whole decided that we're gonna keep doing this until we can't.
(53:20):
So if you wanna, with whatever individual agency you have,
make a new person and try to raise them to
be one of the good ones, I think that's a
noble thing to do, regardless of would you believe the
(53:41):
current state of the world to be, because there's always
gonna be there's never gonna be a time where something
bad is not happening, and there's never and there's never
gonna be a time where something good's not happening. I
really do believe this is bad. There's so like you,
and that's why I love living in the city because
(54:04):
every day I see, like, if you live in like
a big American city like every day, or I guess
a lot of European cities, there's not a lot of
like a like I don't know, I haven't been to
a lot of Asian cities, but like, uh, I think
in most major places, you walk around and you see
(54:24):
people living in some form of poverty. But then you
also just see like if you if you're if you're
looking for it, go on a walk outside in a
populated area and you just watch like a mom like
walking with their like normal fucking things, like a mom
like walking with their kid and the kid has is
holding a thing, or like two people just like someone
(54:47):
just walking and existing like like, I don't know, there's
good stuff about being alive as well as bad stuff.
I've been ranking about this for too long, but I
hope you understand what I'm kind of trying to say.
All right, Okay, this is from jose Hey Lyle. I'm
(55:07):
an on and off listener, and I want to know
how tall you are. I'm five foot six and a half.
I was five foot seven and then I started telling
the truth. When I go on the day, when I
go on the dating apps, I'm five foot seven. I
can get away with five foot seven. I'm five foot
six and a half. I'm somewhere in between five foot
six and five foot seven, and uh, you know, I
(55:32):
can work with five foot seven. I could work with
five foot six, honestly whatever. I think. I've gone through
ebbs and flows about my height where sometimes I get
really insecure about it, and then other times I'm like,
it's so stupid to be insecure about your height. It
really is. It really is stupid to be insecure about
(55:57):
your height. I sometimes I go to bush I think
I go to Bushwick sometimes and that's a strong Mexican community,
and I think in general Mexican guys are a little shorter.
(56:18):
Walk around Bushwick and I'll see like a five foot
three Mexican guy with a beautiful girlfriend, and I'm like, okay,
you know, we like, this is workable, you can work
with this. Okay, wait, there's another height thing. Okay, here
we go, Yeah, there we go. All right. This is
(56:38):
from Danny, subject line five foot guy with women troubles.
Dear Gek, First and foremost, you and your podcast are wicked.
I've been listening to your show for almost a year now.
It's been such a refreshing way to get new perspectives
on life and hear experiences I'd never come across otherwise.
Having you on in the background during my my team calls, Outlook, Grind,
(57:01):
and daily work routine has made the nine to five
so much more bearable. For context, I'm twenty five years old,
five foot in stature, single and ready to mingle. I
haven't been in a relationship for the past two years.
I mentioned my height because it's been a bit of
a hurdle on dating apps. Being short isn't exactly society's
gold standard for attractiveness, and that can suck sometimes, but
(57:23):
it is what it is. I've been using Tinder and
Hinge for a couple of years. Met my past girlfriend's there, Okay,
fucking we got some. We got some, we got a
track record, and while I do get matches and occasional dates,
there are definitely dry spells. Since moving to a new
city last year, I've only been on two dates. I
feel like I've reached a place where I'm comfortable being alone,
but I still want to find someone to experience life with.
(57:46):
I'm not trying to rush into a relationship just to
check a box. I want it to feel right, so
here's someone in my mind, I matched with a girl,
let's call her April on Hinge. I was attracted to
her and after a few days of texting, we set
up a date. By the way, just like, that's another like, look,
this guy's five feet and he's able to find meet
(58:07):
a lady unhinged. And also, here's another cool thing I
like about this is this guy's not like, uh whatever
cards you were adults on the planet of like height
or whatever whatever it is. It's it's only over when
you when you spiral because you read this guy's email
(58:28):
and this guy like this guy because this guy again,
you can't. Falling into doom is not a good strategy,
as is falling into blind optimism. Look at this guy.
This guy's like, look I because this guy's like, look,
it sucks being short, but it is what it is. Like,
(58:51):
that's a perfect mindset. Because if this guy was like,
I'm foot six, it's over. I'll just I just have
to assume I'm never gonna be happy ever in my life,
then you know that's he's never gonna be anywhere. But look,
he's got a he's a sensible guy. He has some
(59:13):
fucking grip on himself and so he's able to, you know,
meet someone. Okay, I met a girl. We set up
a date. We went thrifting and grabbed a late lunch
an early dinner. I paid, did the gentleman thing. Date
went well, conversation flowed, she was receptive. At the end,
she asked if I wanted to hang out again. I
said yes. Afterwards she texted me a lot of sweet messages,
(59:37):
complimenting me and checking in on my day. I responded
with playful, cute replies. But now I'm not sure how
I feel about her. It feels like she's more into
me than I am into her. Oh my god, look
at this. This is not how where I thought this
email was coming. Don't get me wrong. Being chased is nice,
But I don't know if we see this turning. I
don't know if I see this turning into a long
(59:58):
term relationship. We have a I can date, planned moving
it at her place where young. We have urges. We
might not watch the movie if you catch my drift. Okay,
but I worry about leading her on if I go
through with it, and that thought keeps lingering. Can I
do better? It sounds shallow, but it's there, so I'm
asking for your advice. What should I do? You know, well,
(01:00:24):
the I used, by the way, the whole idea of
like can I do better? Being shallow. Can I do better?
Is not like a when you say can I do better?
It doesn't mean like, uh, I don't think that's like
reflective of the other person. That's a reflective of you.
When you say can I do better, you're not like,
can I do better? In terms of like this person
(01:00:46):
that's standing up, can I find a better person? You're
more like, can I find a person where I feel
a better feeling about them? So I don't think that
that's shallow necessarily, because what's the fucking point, right, Because
if you're like not that into this person, I don't know.
I mean everyone's experiences this shit differently. Some people they
can like be not that into some person and then
(01:01:07):
over time they really like grow with them and they
feel good with them and they kind of get a uh,
they get they get like a positive you know, they
they develop attraction over time. And that could be you,
(01:01:30):
But I don't know, maybe you're maybe you're not that guy.
Have you been that guy in the past, Like you
said you met your past girlfriend's there. Are you a
slow build guy or are you a I know when
I know it guy? If you if you've been a
slow build guy and you kind of feel in your
gut you're like I could, I could be a slow
build guy. I could slowly build attraction, then go for it.
(01:01:52):
But if you're if you know in your gut that
you're not a slow build guy, then I understand wanted
to call it, and I don't. I don't think it's
shallow because I think also, like you want to fucking
be with someone that you want to be with and
you want and so does this fucking this lady wants
to be with someone that wants to be with her.
So I don't think it's shallow to look for a
(01:02:16):
stronger connection. I don't. I don't even think it's reflective
of this lady. I think it's just reflective of like
your own brain. That's That's another thing about like attraction
is it's so it's a lot more complicated I think
than people give it credit for. I mean, obviously, in general,
like if you're more physically attractive, if you're taller, if
you're in better shape, and you know, you get people,
(01:02:38):
more people are going to be attracted to you, but
like there's still a lot of subtleties that make it
so that you can't be too black and white with
this stuff. Uh So that's that's what I suggest you
should do, is decide if you're open to a slow
burn or if you're not, then it's okay to it's
(01:03:00):
okay to withdraw respectfully. Uh let's see here, let's do
one or two more. Uh okay. This is from Malachi.
(01:03:21):
Subject line, I got stalked by a creep in prison.
My name is Malachi aka Invader mal and I wanted
to share a story with you. That's funny now, but
back then it had me shook. I was locked up
in prison and for a minute I had a cell
buddy who called himself Mike that smokes crack. I thought
(01:03:42):
it was just a weird nickname, but it turns out
he was a full blown creep. Dude. Was this fat,
oversized white guy. And at first he told me he
got locked up for breaking into a pharmacy in the daytime,
high on drugs after his girlfriend left him. Sounded believable
until it got weird. One night, I'm asleep in my
bunk and I wake up to this dude literally sitting
(01:04:04):
at the edge of my bed watching me sleep. I
jump up, I go what the hell and he hits
me with, oh, hey, sell, buddy, I was just waiting
for you to wake up. Jes got off the phone
with my pastor bro what So later that day I
told one of my big homies, yes, I'm a gang member.
Tree Top pierro a blood set. I let my og
(01:04:26):
know that Mike was watching me sleep, and he said,
if he do that again, let me know we're gonna
handle it. The funny part. I'm playing spades in the
card room later that week and I run upstairs to
grab my coffee. Mike's in the cell and goes, hey, sell, buddy,
I accidentally showed someone my butt. I'm like what. He
explains he was in the shower, bent over with the
(01:04:48):
curtain wide open, and a Muslim brother saw him. That
Muslim brother threatened to stab him for real. I went
and asked the Muslim brother myself, and he said, Bro
was straight bent over in the shower like he was
in a music video. I was done. So now I'm
thinking something's off. Rumors start going around the unit that
(01:05:11):
he's in for touching boys at a Catholic church. I
asked for his paperwork, and he sends me some fake
nonsense that said breaking and entering. I dig deeper and
find the real charges, multiple counts of molesting boys in
the church. That night I went to bed with a plan,
wake up and get him the hell out of my cell.
I wake up to him again, staring at me, this
(01:05:33):
time sitting on the bunk reading a book like this
was some lifetime movie. I said, nah, not again. I
ran to my og The whole blood set formed up.
We went in that cell, took all his commissary, his food,
and kicked him out barefoot. It was like prison house hunters.
(01:05:53):
He got moved to the old man tier and where
it is. They beat his ass and had him transferred
out to another prison. When I got home, I looked
him up. Everything was true. Not only did he have
those charges, but apparently he used to sleep up in
the rafters at church and wait until the service started
and play with himself. That man was a real life boogieman. So, Gecko,
(01:06:18):
what would you have done in that situation? Dude? I
don't I don't know what would I What would I
have done in that situation? I would have gone to
sleep and been like I'm gonna would I would have
just slept as much as I possibly could. Probably I
(01:06:42):
would have been I would have attempted to be unconscious
as long as humanly possible. I would have read a
book and be like I would have I don't know.
I don't know what I would have done in that situation. Man,
how are you doing now? Matt? Like I call in,
I want to talk to you. You see to make an
interesting guy. I want to hear more more stories about
what's going on with you. If you're listening, I want
(01:07:06):
to I want to hear what's going on. You got
a good you got it?
Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
I like the way you tell stories. Also, yeah, I
feel like I'm only hearing about Mike, who smokes crack.
I want to hear about Malachi. I want to hear
what's going on with you. Let's see here. I think
that's it. I think I think I'm done reading email
(01:07:29):
for now. Thank you guys for listening to the podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it was a
good time for you all.
Speaker 4 (01:07:39):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (01:07:41):
I hope I didn't piss anyone off every time. I
I don't. I think I try to be pretty fair
about the way I do this, But sometimes I'm like,
am I pissing someone off?
Speaker 4 (01:07:53):
Right? Now?
Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
That's the that's the trade off of talking into a
microphone and putting it on the internet, is you can
just piss someone off somehow. I hope I don't do that. Okay,
maybe I should read one more? Should I read one more?
I'll read one more. I'll make the podcast a little
bit longer. Okay, let's see here, Hey GEK call me ismail.
(01:08:18):
Oh the subject line is h I stopped listening to podcasts.
Hey GEK call me ismail. Thanks for all the time
I spent on your podcast because I was depressed and
wouldn't leave my house and had to remember how regular
conversations worked. Now the Lexapro is working, and in a
four month turnaround, I'm sleeping with two people that know
(01:08:40):
about each other and are fine with it and love
biting me. He capitalized all those anything that I said
in that weird voice. He he had fully capitalized. Big
shout out to Lexapro. Glad I'm not dead. I don't
have a whole lot of use for podcasts now that
I quit night shifts at UPS and got my sleep
(01:09:02):
schedule right, started getting some writing done in a coffee
shop and then going up to people that I'd seen
around town, which is possible without lexapro for those interested.
I got back to therapy. Fuck, working out, meds and
sleep is fucking fine. I don't know what that last
part means, but I mean working out it's cool. I
(01:09:22):
always forget that I'm great at talking to people when
I'm hold up in my room. Thanks for getting me
through the night shift. I have listening since episode ten,
but I have to go now. Sorry, and thanks again.
Is Meil, But you know what is mil? I'm I'm
happy to hear. Oh he sent this. He sent this
email a long time. He sent this email months ago,
(01:09:43):
so he's not he's not even gonna hear this. But whatever,
he's he's having sex right now with two people that
know about each other and are fine with it and
love biting him. So that's good. Hmm. Yeah, that happens
to me all the time. Man, Oh God, that hapens
to me all the time. I'll be like, I'll be
like really fucking depressed and like not wanting to talk
(01:10:05):
to anyone, and I'll be like, shit, I think I've
there's been so many times. It happens multiple times a
week where I'm just like, shit, I don't think I
can have a conversation with another human being. I do
it for a living, and I'm just like, fuck, I
don't I can't talk to other people. And then let's
have a day where I'm like, I don't know the
(01:10:26):
fucking vivance hits right or the sun hits right or whatever,
and I'm just like, damn, I forgot that I'm actually
awesome at talking to people. You got to remind yourself
who you are. It's in there, folks. You just got
to remind yourself who you are sometimes, and then you
could end up like Ismail and stop listening to this
podcast as well. No, thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 4 (01:10:50):
I listen.
Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
I don't, I don't, I don't. It's funny because this
kind of harkens back to the very first caller we had.
But uh, I don't, I don't know. I listened to
a lot of podcasts just for like I guess noise,
not so much for like social interaction. I fall asleep
(01:11:15):
every night to podcasts about Nintendo games. I love that shit,
And you know what, I'm gonna go do that right now.
Actually I'm not. It's the morning time. So thank you,
guys for listening to Therapy Gecko. I'm a gecko. I
hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope this was good
for you guys. I hope you enjoyed being here. I
(01:11:37):
enjoyed recording it. I know that much. Thank you all.
Have a good night and have a good What is
it today's Wednesday? Okay, have a good weekend. Everyone, Get blessed,
see you around the universe. Repeat, Get Ghosts on the line,
(01:12:02):
taking your phone calls every night. The repeat, Get ghost
doing his ride. He's teaching you a housing over your life,
but he's not really an expert.
Host
Lyle Drescher
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