May 28, 2026 • 25 mins
Diana’s sister, Lyla, and her husband Marcus, appear to have a picture‑perfect marriage and family, at least from the outside. But Diana has never trusted Marcus, largely because of his charming, flirtatious personality. During a visit, Diana borrowed Marcus’s iPad and discovered several inappropriate messages between him and another woman. She immediately told Lyla, and now the marriage is in free fall, with divorce looming. The problem? The rest of the family is divided over whether Diana did the right thing. Should she have kept it to herself for the sake of her sister’s family and allowed Lyla to live in blissful ignorance or was telling the truth the only option?
In our second session, Kim is dating Micah, a highly successful man who travels 245 days a year for work. Kim enjoys the perks of his lifestyle: staying in his beachfront home, driving luxury cars, and being showered with gifts and jewelry. But despite all of that, she feels deeply lonely because of his constant travel. Adding to her unease, she rarely knows exactly where he’s going or who he’s meeting, and his extreme charm only heightens her concerns. While Kim’s friends think she’s crazy to question such an enviable lifestyle, she feels she’s missing the one thing she wants most: time with Micah.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is Therapy Thursday, get another fun edition. And we
are three friends who have come together to help you out.
I'm Ellen Kay, I'm Ryan Mano, and I'm Sarah Dash
and so right and I do a radio show together.
And we realize that everyone who's calling wants help of
some kind is always relationship help, whether it's at work
or at home or in love. And so we're like
(00:23):
trying to do the best we can. And then we
met you, Sarah Dash, and you're a licensed therapist, so
we said we should do this on the radio. Let's
call it Therapy Thursday because that sounds good, and that's
how it was born. And now we're a podcast. How exciting,
so exciting.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
And I do feel like Sarah's kind of She's our
counter Ellen, Ellen's very sweet. I would be Ellen's the
rose and I would be the.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Thorn on the bush.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Oh, then what is Sarah?
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Sarah? Sarah's the whole garden.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Okay, you're the whole garden, Sarah the leaf.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Well, we got this letter and it says I think
I might have ruined my sister's marriage, and I don't
know if I regret it. My sister Leila has been
married to her husband, Marcus for seven years. From the outside,
they look solid, two kids, a nice house, the whole thing.
But I've never trusted him. There was always something off.
He's handsome, charming, and flirting in that I'm just being
(01:22):
friendly kind of way that makes you feel crazy for noticing.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
A few weeks ago, I borrowed.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
His iPad while I was at their house and a
message popped out, and it was from a woman saved
as client dinner. The texts were not professional at all.
I wish I could say I closed the iPad and
minded my business, but I didn't. I read enough to
know this was ongoing, planned and intentional. I lost it
(01:47):
and showed my sister everything. Now their marriage is in
free fall.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
He says.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
It's not what it looks like. She's devastated. There's talk
of separation. Now my entire family's split. Some say did
the right thing by showing my sister and telling her,
and others are saying I've ruined a perfectly good family.
If she never would have seen it, she never would
have known it would be ignorant bliss. Did I protect
my sister or did I destroy her life?
Speaker 4 (02:11):
This is from Diana.
Speaker 5 (02:12):
Well Diana did not destroy anything. She revealed a rupture
that was already there.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Do you think Leila knew in her heart of hearts
that Marcus is not who he appears to be and
I know he might be cheating, or do you think
that she was oblivious?
Speaker 5 (02:37):
It's hard to know. We know that the sister had
never felt completely at ease with him in terms of
whether her sister's heart was protected in this relationship.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So sometimes do we see what others can't see and
we can see it super clearly, and you're like, but
he's not a good guy, and then you're marries him
seven years two kids?
Speaker 5 (03:02):
Right, Denially, Absolutely, we do see things that other people
can't say. I mean, it's one of the purposes of
therapy is that you're going to see and speak to
somebody who can help you get clarity about things that
are fuzzy for you.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
There's a just talking hearing you two talk.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
There's a quote, a phrase that I love that says,
red flags just look like flags when you're wearing rose
colored glasses. Okay, right, so you don't see if the
lenses are red, that flag looks white.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
So maybe this is what Leila wanted all along and
she doesn't care what comes with it, Like she doesn't
really mind the consequences because she has the two kids
and the marriage and and maybe that's just all she wants.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
My sense says that's not the case because of the response,
Like if her sister had gone to her and said, look,
this is what I saw, the sister responds, Okay, don't
say anything to him. Yes, don't say anything to anybody
else in the family, And if you love me, you
will never mention this again. Sarah, this is not what
(04:03):
happened in the situation.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
The fact that the system was destabilized tells me she did,
in fact need to know this.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yes, yeah, And I'm gonna take this a step further.
We're never gonna get to the bottom of whether this
is true or not. But I don't believe she used
that iPad and saw that by accident.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I think she was looking for it, and I think
she found a way to use that iPad so she
could confirm her suspicions.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Okay, why did she let this guy carry on for
seven years? Did they not have an iPad before? I mean,
I wonder if there was like a final straw kind
of moment where you know, maybe once or twice a
year she'd see some behavior from him and think he's shady. Yeah,
but then maybe it just kind of pinnacled for her
and she thought, I'm gonna bust this guy.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
An opportunity presented itself.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yes, yeah, who knows?
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Who knows?
Speaker 5 (04:50):
It is an interesting question though.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Right, like, Okay, did you bust him on purpose? Have
you been after him for seven years? And I mean
some cold cases, in criminal cases go a long time
before aha, I got you.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
And she's been on this guy for.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Seven years, she's been suspicious, Yes, for a long time.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Okay, well let's go to Mariah. Mariah, thank you so
much for coming on therapy Thursday. Do you think that
Diana did the right thing?
Speaker 7 (05:23):
I do, because first her sister found out later, and
then she found out that she knew she would feel
more betrayed from her.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Keeping a secretly.
Speaker 7 (05:33):
Anytime you find something out, it's gonna hurt. I had
the same thing. It happened with a girlfriend of mine.
Her fiance was hitting on me and I told her
he was like trying to inappropriately flirt with me, And
I told her and she quit talking to me for
a while. But you know, I think it's just when
it's first hits, you want to blame somebody, and it's
hard to blame the person you're with, right, I got it.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
And then she never married him.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Yeah, they did, but it didn't last very long, Okay, and.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
She she was never like really she didn't stay salty
with you, did she?
Speaker 7 (06:03):
No, we're still friends. It's just you're trying you want
to place the blame where it's leased.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Yes, right, right, Okay, Well, thank you so much, Mariah,
No problem, thank you. Have a good day, you too, Sarah.
Do you agree with Mariah?
Speaker 5 (06:18):
I think Mariah is completely right about this because you're
seeing like the scapegoating, like the sister's now the scapegoat,
and clinically that means that the conflict is sort of
exported onto someone else. It's more manageable for the family
to see the sister is the problem than you know,
the real possibility that this marriage may be in jeopardy.
(06:40):
It's it's inconvenient for this marriage to be in jeopardy.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I have two sisters and three brothers, and if I
saw something on an iPad, you better.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Believe I would go to them right away. I would.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I would not hesitate to say, you know, to any
of them.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Would you confront the person that you found evidence on, Yes,
you would say something to that part.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I wouldn't say you were all family.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
Would you do that first before you went to your siblings?
Speaker 4 (07:07):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
No, okay, I'd go to my siblings first because that's
who I grew up with.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
There, my that's my life.
Speaker 5 (07:13):
So you wouldn't give like the person the opportunity to
festt themselves or anything not directly undeniable proof.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
If I had the knife with the blood on it,
I'm taking it right to the crime lab. Yeah, and
I'm going to match that blood and it's going to
be in this case.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Marcus's all right, I'm gonna ask another question.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Would you opt for an in person or an on
the phone conversation with the offender?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
I'm going in person with everybody? Oh my god, you wouldn't.
It's your family. No, no, no, no. I would tend a
family for seven years.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
If it were my brother and I had to give
him back, I would want to do it in person.
I don't know about the confrontation with the with the bad.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Really, you wouldn't want to look that person in the
face and say, how dare you do this to my brother?
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Oh? I don't know, Sarah. What do you reckon to
each their own?
Speaker 5 (08:02):
Okay, we all have our different sales.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
What would I professionally, what would you advise.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
If I were talking to a client or I was
talking to myself.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
If you're talking to Diana about Marcus and Lila.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
I would say, she absolutely did the right thing. I
don't even think there's a real choice here. I mean,
we're either in certain situations, we're either committed to protecting
the status quo, including Marcus, or she commits to protecting
her sister. So I don't think there's a real choice here.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Because from the sound of the letter, it sounds to
me like Diana did tell Marcus, maybe even shortly after,
because she said I lost it and showed my sister everything.
Now their marriage is freefall. He says, it's not what
it looks like, so he's trying to deny it. So
there has been some kind of confrontation, hopefully it was
in person.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Can I say one more thing, also, very very lazy
to save this person as client dinner, that's like this,
There is nothing you got to at least give her
a company name or a first name client dinner.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I mean, you so dumb.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
So Marcus made the investigation too simple, I mean in
fourth grade.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
All right, everybody, hang on, we'll be right back. It's
therapy Thursday. Welcome back to therapy Thursday. This is a
hot topic.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
A lot of people are calling.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Diana wrote in, and she said that her sister Lila
has been married for seven years to Marcus. She found
messages on Marcus's iPad that are not professional, but they're
saved as client dinners from a woman he saved as
client dinner. Right, we are just talking about how dumb
that move was.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Give her a name.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Something, You could even give her a hymn name.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Yes for real?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Right, yeah, Jim from Chevy.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Believable brother.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
All right, Alexander, thank you, thank you for calling in
Therapy Thursday. So you say that something similar to you
like this has happened to you.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
What happened?
Speaker 8 (10:08):
Okay? So I owned a limousine company and one of
my top clients would only allow me to drive, So
I went. I drove him with his girlfriend to Dodgers Stadium,
and my vehicle would always park inside where the players
park So he went to the game and I'm resting
(10:29):
in the car and then I see the girl that
he's with, his girlfriend come out with a baseball player.
I get out of the car and I'm walking towards
the car and she's hiding, and I said, Crystal, what
are you doing? Oh? He decided to stay longer with friends.
I said, okay, I'd let it go. My friend comes back,
(10:52):
we leave. He's very sad, you know. And I did
not share that with him because I didn't want to
break his heart more right. I then would play basketball
with him and listen to him, and have dinners with
him and just listen to him. He found an amazing, honest,
beautiful woman that is now his wife and they have
(11:15):
beautiful children. I did inform him of that situation, and
he was very upset at me. He resented me. He's like,
you should have told me, Yeaxander. I said, well, if
I would have told you, it would not have changed
your heart, and I didn't want to hurt you more.
But that experience, Allan taught me to never hold anything back,
(11:37):
especially when you are protecting your friends and your family.
We would never be talking about that situation. If this
man was being honest.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
That's very true, Alexander.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Yeah, yeah, and it's I think he brings up a
good point in that it's not an easy choice. It
doesn't mean it's I don't know, it's hard. I can't
imagine a much harder message to deliver than telling somebody
you know that they realize that their partner is being unfaithful,
and it's not something that's casually done. I think that
(12:08):
delivery and timing do matter in these situations, but that
you know, ultimately, can you have a relationship that's based
on an illusion?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Do you think some people Sarah? Have you found that
some people enjoy being the bearer of bad news?
Speaker 6 (12:25):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (12:25):
God?
Speaker 5 (12:28):
I mean I think that some people enjoy feeling important.
I think that some people enjoy feeling like they have
information that others don't. It can give them if you're
if they tend to run that way. Hopefully it's not
a common occurrence, but yeah, I've seen it.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Sure, What about you?
Speaker 5 (12:44):
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I do?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I think that the people wake up looking it's almost
like an anteater, like like what can I what can
I suck up to just spit out and make someone's
day badly?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Those kinds of people like exist. Oh, that's icky.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
It is, it is, and it's it's unfre fortunate because
what you you know, if you're just going to focus
on that person, you're you're typically going to say, a
pretty lonely person. This is not somebody who invites connection
and intimacy into their life.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, and I'm not suggesting that the sister who looked
at the iPad is that person. But now I don't
at all, But I do think that that there are
people who would and do go through life hoping to
find some bad news that they can then deliver.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, get pleasure out of that a little bit, the
pleasure playground.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
All right, we're going to take a quick break.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
It's therapy Thursday. When we get back. Are you in
a relationship with someone who's never around? Are you traveling
Casanova or casanves stay with us, Welcome back Therapy Thursday.
Three friends coming together to help you out. Basically, That's
(13:53):
what someone said, Hey, what's therapy Thursday about? I said, Well,
it's about therapy and helping people with their problems. And
Ryan and I have been doing a radio show getting
a lot of influx of people with problems, and we
know a licensed therapist.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Oh, by the way, I'm Ellen Kay, I'm Ryan Manno,
and I'm Sarah Dash and you are our licensed therapist friend.
So we said syme in.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
We're getting so many people calling and we're not experts
like Ryan and I could say, well, I had a
friend who did this, all right, but you have a
practice and you see this, you have experience. Yeah, And
so we are hearing from a lot of people. This
is from Kim. So Kim wrote to us. You can
get to us a lot of different ways. Leave us
(14:36):
a talk back, you can write to us, DM us
whatever you want. But it says I'm dating Micah. He's successful,
driven and travels two hundred and forty five days a
year overseeing major product installations. He's built an incredible life
and he's brought me into it. I live in his
beachfront home. I drive any of his three luxury cars.
There are surprise gifts and jewelry, the kind of treatment
(14:59):
of my friends about They tell me that I've won,
but I feel completely alone. And Micah has invited me
to travel along with them. But I have my own businesses,
pilates in yoga studio. I don't want to give that up,
and I don't trust relationship that mostly exists without me
in it.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
So she goes on. I don't know where he is
half the time.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I don't know who he's meeting, who's charming, because he
is charming and that's part of how he got so successful.
My friends think I'm crazy for even questioning this. Do
I hold onto the man who gives me everything? Or
walk away because the one thing I want is the
one thing he can't give me. That's his presence.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Ooh, okay, so he's gone all the time, but when
he's around, you get spoiled. Right, two hundred and forty
five days a year, it's most of the year. Like
how many baseball games are there? Ye, one hundred and eighty,
one hundred and eighty two.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
See, this is more than a professional athlete.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
There's a lot of physical separation in this relationship. I
hear that as less of a problem than there's not
the predictability, there's not Does it seem like there's like
a through line of communication. So she's untethered, like she
doesn't know where he is, doesn't know when they're going
to talk. So I think that is destabilizing. But also,
(16:13):
these are two people who are both putting career and
their individual pursuits over the partnership. So it's not like
he's a bad partner or a bad person. They're just
kind of doing their lives a little differently right now.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Okay, you know it jumped out to me.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And I don't know if you noticed this, Sarah with
your trained eye as an LMFT, I didn't hear a
lot about the love. I didn't hear her say he
makes me feel X, Y and Z when we're together,
or what I love about him. It was I get
to drive his three cars, I get to stay It
is because, yeah, there's a lot of focus on the things,
which clearly she enjoys bite, but where I'm not reading
(16:50):
a lot of love.
Speaker 5 (16:51):
No, And you're right, she's describing a very luxurious lifestyle,
and I think that she enjoys that. I don't think
there's anything wrong with it. But the last of presence,
she's not grounded in the relationship, and whether you know,
whatever her friends think, this relationship is getting so much
validation from her friends, and I think, yeah, I think
(17:12):
it complicates it for her. But no matter what her
friends think or what anybody else would think, it doesn't
sound like this relationship is working for her right now.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
She's lonely.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Think it would be great, Ryan, You're right if she
would have put a line in the letters said, I
can't wait for him to get home so we can
snuggle and watch Netflix and rub our feet together till
we fall asleep or you know whatever, or we love
waking up and having coffee together. Then he tells me
all about his day, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Right, or like we're watching this on Netflix and we're
doing a we're halfway through building a puzzle or something.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Something something shares no connection, right, yeah, or at least
that we're hearing that.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
That's I guess what I'm taking.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
No, but that's a really good I mean, that's very perceptive,
you know. I think that you picked up on that
there's not a mention of how she feels in his presence.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Can a relationship like this work if, even if it's
unconventional to the three of us or to anyone watching
or listening, right, Ken, this work if both people almost
you almost have to not care in order for it
to work.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Right, right, That sounds like Kim care is more than
he does exactly.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
I think it can work beautifully if both people are
on the same page. Okay, yeah, but it's just not
what's working for her now. And maybe it was working,
you know, three years ago, however long they've been together.
But I hear that she wants something different now and
that could mean not necessarily ending the relationship, but just
more transparency, more predictable communication.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Huh. Okay. So I have a friend who moved into
a beach house.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
There were no luxury cars and spoil things like spas
and jewelry and all that, but she did move into
his house and she loved it because she was living
in a little apartment. So she moves into his beachfront home.
He's gone a lot, right, So she's there. She's got
her toothbrush there, she's got the tooth you know everything.
She opens up a drawer where his shaving stuff was,
(19:02):
and there were little notes in there, and it was
different flight attendants.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
So he was.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
He wasn't a pilot, but he was flying around and
he had he was getting notes from women and phone numbers. Okay,
so I mean maybe he he likes to have a
grounding at home, like you're my girl at home, but
I'm on the road just seeing all kinds of women
having so much fun.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
And that's fine if she's okay with that, right, and
maybe she has her own, you know, relationships when she's here,
when he's gone.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
I mean, they should invite other guys over to his house.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
I mean there's really there's really no right or wrong.
There's only whether this works for her or not.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Okay, do you, Sarah, do you deal with a lot
of people that you know, clients, and you know I
don't know if you can share this, but that that
travel and almost use the road as an excuse to
not confront the present or the future.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
It's like their escapism.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
So you're saying that their life on the road is
really their real life, or that they actually or that
they just compartmentalize.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Out is I think that people do.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Absolutely.
Speaker 5 (20:15):
People compartmentalize all the time. You know, we put things
in little boxes and it's more manageable for us, which
again I know I'm repeating myself, But no problem with
a lot of different boxes, if everybody's cool with there
being a lot of different boxes.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I have a friend in a relationship. The relationship works.
He's on their road a lot. He says, I like
being out there because I don't really want to be
home with myself. Yeah, and it works for them if
like years and years and years, they're just they they're
doing it.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Listen, guys, I went to Europe with a band for
seven weeks and this was between jobs, and I felt
I kind of hosted a documentary about this tour that
they were fun. And when I got back, I was like,
oh I got to like be alone with me and stuff.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Oh you I felt to that. You get a sense
of like, oh, this is who I am.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
I could also go out there and kind of run
away from some things.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Was it just like the constant distraction of being that
what he loves?
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Distraction, he lives for it. Sorry, right, distract.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Distraction can be a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's it's it's honestly, I see why someone would want
that life. I get it where it's like you don't
you there's a sense of like no one can find me, Oh.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Jeez what Okay, Now let's get to Moses. Moses, thank
you for calling it. Can this work?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Yes? And no?
Speaker 8 (21:39):
Because if you if you make the best of it
when you're together, that brings.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
Up the whole situation up.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Sure, But then when you're not and that's most of
the year. What kind of relationship is that?
Speaker 8 (21:55):
I love will find a way.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Love, We'll find a way. There he is, Moses. Okay, Moses, thank.
Speaker 8 (22:01):
You, thank you, thank you you. You have a blessed day,
and uh, we'll hope to see you live one day.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Yes, thanks for checking in, Moses. Bye, take care, sweet,
very sweet love.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
We'll find a way when when Kim's not lonely. But
she's lonely. So love is not finding a way.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
It's just not working, all right, because I don't hear love. Yeah, well,
she didn't talk.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
To I know about him.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
I know, I know he's good at Kathy. Kathy, you
have a big concern.
Speaker 6 (22:28):
But I'm not hearing anything about love. My God. Just
before I said we love will find a way, love
wasn't mentioned. She didn't say how much she loved him
or how much he loved her.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
That's very true. Ryan brought that up early this morning.
He said, this letter is all about the things, and
you know, poor me, I can't spend time with him,
But nothing was really about him or feelings for him.
Speaker 6 (22:53):
Yes, you know, I kind of think that there's a
stage in our lives where we like that being tamper
and having all these wonderful things, but it kind of
grows old after a while, and you want somebody to
love and to be loved by. And so if you've
gotten to that point, and it sounds like she has,
(23:14):
then it's time to let him go and move on
to find somebody who's ready to be loved and wants
to love you.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Or is he loving lots of people all around the
country that could be.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
And each gift is a is an admission when.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
My husband gets in troublem, I gave a wonderful gift.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
So the gifts are the guilt the gift for sure.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
And he's making this kind of money he can afford
to show these gifts on a lot of different people.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
Thanks Kathy, You have a good day, all right, you too?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
All right, Well, Sarah, I'm dying to know, like what
you would tell her if she was your client. Hang
on to that this therapy Thursday. We'll be right back,
all right, welcome back. So that's all sum it up.
This has been an amazing therapy Thursday, and thank you
for listening to our podcast. Before we get to you, Sarah,
(24:13):
in your professional opinion, Ryan you've got to sum up, Like,
we had two very passionate questions today.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
So it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
I see a parallel here. The first one the sister
who looked at the iPad, right, she found something.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Now it's lost. That relationship, the love is.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
The marriage is over.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Found now lost.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
This one, we just talked about someone's lost something, meaning
the guy's gone and she's just wanting to be found.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Yeah, yeah, that's great, beautifully said thank you. And what
would you say?
Speaker 5 (24:41):
I would say that secure attachment requires presence, whether it's
in person or whether it's from afar. There needs to
be a through line of communication, expectation and predictability. There
needs to be more transparency in this relationship.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I want to get back to this lost in found
Diana found something, you know, the marriage just fought. Yes,
Kim glost something and now she wants to find it.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Boom, I got it, we got it. I like it
to see you next week.
Speaker 6 (25:12):
Thank you,
It is Therapy Thursday, get another fun edition. And we
are three friends who have come together to help you out.
I'm Ellen Kay, I'm Ryan Mano, and I'm Sarah Dash
and so right and I do a radio show together.
And we realize that everyone who's calling wants help of
some kind is always relationship help, whether it's at work
or at home or in love. And so we're like
(00:23):
trying to do the best we can. And then we
met you, Sarah Dash, and you're a licensed therapist, so
we said we should do this on the radio. Let's
call it Therapy Thursday because that sounds good, and that's
how it was born. And now we're a podcast. How exciting,
so exciting.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
And I do feel like Sarah's kind of She's our
counter Ellen, Ellen's very sweet. I would be Ellen's the
rose and I would be the.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Thorn on the bush.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Oh, then what is Sarah?
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Sarah? Sarah's the whole garden.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Okay, you're the whole garden, Sarah the leaf.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Well, we got this letter and it says I think
I might have ruined my sister's marriage, and I don't
know if I regret it. My sister Leila has been
married to her husband, Marcus for seven years. From the outside,
they look solid, two kids, a nice house, the whole thing.
But I've never trusted him. There was always something off.
He's handsome, charming, and flirting in that I'm just being
(01:22):
friendly kind of way that makes you feel crazy for noticing.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
A few weeks ago, I borrowed.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
His iPad while I was at their house and a
message popped out, and it was from a woman saved
as client dinner. The texts were not professional at all.
I wish I could say I closed the iPad and
minded my business, but I didn't. I read enough to
know this was ongoing, planned and intentional. I lost it
(01:47):
and showed my sister everything. Now their marriage is in
free fall.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
He says.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
It's not what it looks like. She's devastated. There's talk
of separation. Now my entire family's split. Some say did
the right thing by showing my sister and telling her,
and others are saying I've ruined a perfectly good family.
If she never would have seen it, she never would
have known it would be ignorant bliss. Did I protect
my sister or did I destroy her life?
Speaker 4 (02:11):
This is from Diana.
Speaker 5 (02:12):
Well Diana did not destroy anything. She revealed a rupture
that was already there.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Do you think Leila knew in her heart of hearts
that Marcus is not who he appears to be and
I know he might be cheating, or do you think
that she was oblivious?
Speaker 5 (02:37):
It's hard to know. We know that the sister had
never felt completely at ease with him in terms of
whether her sister's heart was protected in this relationship.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So sometimes do we see what others can't see and
we can see it super clearly, and you're like, but
he's not a good guy, and then you're marries him
seven years two kids?
Speaker 5 (03:02):
Right, Denially, Absolutely, we do see things that other people
can't say. I mean, it's one of the purposes of
therapy is that you're going to see and speak to
somebody who can help you get clarity about things that
are fuzzy for you.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
There's a just talking hearing you two talk.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
There's a quote, a phrase that I love that says,
red flags just look like flags when you're wearing rose
colored glasses. Okay, right, so you don't see if the
lenses are red, that flag looks white.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
So maybe this is what Leila wanted all along and
she doesn't care what comes with it, Like she doesn't
really mind the consequences because she has the two kids
and the marriage and and maybe that's just all she wants.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
My sense says that's not the case because of the response,
Like if her sister had gone to her and said, look,
this is what I saw, the sister responds, Okay, don't
say anything to him. Yes, don't say anything to anybody
else in the family, And if you love me, you
will never mention this again. Sarah, this is not what
(04:03):
happened in the situation.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
The fact that the system was destabilized tells me she did,
in fact need to know this.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yes, yeah, And I'm gonna take this a step further.
We're never gonna get to the bottom of whether this
is true or not. But I don't believe she used
that iPad and saw that by accident.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I think she was looking for it, and I think
she found a way to use that iPad so she
could confirm her suspicions.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Okay, why did she let this guy carry on for
seven years? Did they not have an iPad before? I mean,
I wonder if there was like a final straw kind
of moment where you know, maybe once or twice a
year she'd see some behavior from him and think he's shady. Yeah,
but then maybe it just kind of pinnacled for her
and she thought, I'm gonna bust this guy.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
An opportunity presented itself.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yes, yeah, who knows?
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Who knows?
Speaker 5 (04:50):
It is an interesting question though.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Right, like, Okay, did you bust him on purpose? Have
you been after him for seven years? And I mean
some cold cases, in criminal cases go a long time
before aha, I got you.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
And she's been on this guy for.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Seven years, she's been suspicious, Yes, for a long time.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Okay, well let's go to Mariah. Mariah, thank you so
much for coming on therapy Thursday. Do you think that
Diana did the right thing?
Speaker 7 (05:23):
I do, because first her sister found out later, and
then she found out that she knew she would feel
more betrayed from her.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Keeping a secretly.
Speaker 7 (05:33):
Anytime you find something out, it's gonna hurt. I had
the same thing. It happened with a girlfriend of mine.
Her fiance was hitting on me and I told her
he was like trying to inappropriately flirt with me, And
I told her and she quit talking to me for
a while. But you know, I think it's just when
it's first hits, you want to blame somebody, and it's
hard to blame the person you're with, right, I got it.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
And then she never married him.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Yeah, they did, but it didn't last very long, Okay, and.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
She she was never like really she didn't stay salty
with you, did she?
Speaker 7 (06:03):
No, we're still friends. It's just you're trying you want
to place the blame where it's leased.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Yes, right, right, Okay, Well, thank you so much, Mariah,
No problem, thank you. Have a good day, you too, Sarah.
Do you agree with Mariah?
Speaker 5 (06:18):
I think Mariah is completely right about this because you're
seeing like the scapegoating, like the sister's now the scapegoat,
and clinically that means that the conflict is sort of
exported onto someone else. It's more manageable for the family
to see the sister is the problem than you know,
the real possibility that this marriage may be in jeopardy.
(06:40):
It's it's inconvenient for this marriage to be in jeopardy.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
I have two sisters and three brothers, and if I
saw something on an iPad, you better.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Believe I would go to them right away. I would.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I would not hesitate to say, you know, to any
of them.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Would you confront the person that you found evidence on, Yes,
you would say something to that part.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
I wouldn't say you were all family.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
Would you do that first before you went to your siblings?
Speaker 4 (07:07):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
No, okay, I'd go to my siblings first because that's
who I grew up with.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
There, my that's my life.
Speaker 5 (07:13):
So you wouldn't give like the person the opportunity to
festt themselves or anything not directly undeniable proof.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
If I had the knife with the blood on it,
I'm taking it right to the crime lab. Yeah, and
I'm going to match that blood and it's going to
be in this case.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Marcus's all right, I'm gonna ask another question.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Would you opt for an in person or an on
the phone conversation with the offender?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
I'm going in person with everybody? Oh my god, you wouldn't.
It's your family. No, no, no, no. I would tend a
family for seven years.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
If it were my brother and I had to give
him back, I would want to do it in person.
I don't know about the confrontation with the with the bad.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Really, you wouldn't want to look that person in the
face and say, how dare you do this to my brother?
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Oh? I don't know, Sarah. What do you reckon to
each their own?
Speaker 5 (08:02):
Okay, we all have our different sales.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
What would I professionally, what would you advise.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
If I were talking to a client or I was
talking to myself.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
If you're talking to Diana about Marcus and Lila.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
I would say, she absolutely did the right thing. I
don't even think there's a real choice here. I mean,
we're either in certain situations, we're either committed to protecting
the status quo, including Marcus, or she commits to protecting
her sister. So I don't think there's a real choice here.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Because from the sound of the letter, it sounds to
me like Diana did tell Marcus, maybe even shortly after,
because she said I lost it and showed my sister everything.
Now their marriage is freefall. He says, it's not what
it looks like, so he's trying to deny it. So
there has been some kind of confrontation, hopefully it was
in person.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Can I say one more thing, also, very very lazy
to save this person as client dinner, that's like this,
There is nothing you got to at least give her
a company name or a first name client dinner.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I mean, you so dumb.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
So Marcus made the investigation too simple, I mean in
fourth grade.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
All right, everybody, hang on, we'll be right back. It's
therapy Thursday. Welcome back to therapy Thursday. This is a
hot topic.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
A lot of people are calling.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Diana wrote in, and she said that her sister Lila
has been married for seven years to Marcus. She found
messages on Marcus's iPad that are not professional, but they're
saved as client dinners from a woman he saved as
client dinner. Right, we are just talking about how dumb
that move was.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Give her a name.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Something, You could even give her a hymn name.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Yes for real?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Right, yeah, Jim from Chevy.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Believable brother.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
All right, Alexander, thank you, thank you for calling in
Therapy Thursday. So you say that something similar to you
like this has happened to you.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
What happened?
Speaker 8 (10:08):
Okay? So I owned a limousine company and one of
my top clients would only allow me to drive, So
I went. I drove him with his girlfriend to Dodgers Stadium,
and my vehicle would always park inside where the players
park So he went to the game and I'm resting
(10:29):
in the car and then I see the girl that
he's with, his girlfriend come out with a baseball player.
I get out of the car and I'm walking towards
the car and she's hiding, and I said, Crystal, what
are you doing? Oh? He decided to stay longer with friends.
I said, okay, I'd let it go. My friend comes back,
(10:52):
we leave. He's very sad, you know. And I did
not share that with him because I didn't want to
break his heart more right. I then would play basketball
with him and listen to him, and have dinners with
him and just listen to him. He found an amazing, honest,
beautiful woman that is now his wife and they have
(11:15):
beautiful children. I did inform him of that situation, and
he was very upset at me. He resented me. He's like,
you should have told me, Yeaxander. I said, well, if
I would have told you, it would not have changed
your heart, and I didn't want to hurt you more.
But that experience, Allan taught me to never hold anything back,
(11:37):
especially when you are protecting your friends and your family.
We would never be talking about that situation. If this
man was being honest.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
That's very true, Alexander.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Yeah, yeah, and it's I think he brings up a
good point in that it's not an easy choice. It
doesn't mean it's I don't know, it's hard. I can't
imagine a much harder message to deliver than telling somebody
you know that they realize that their partner is being unfaithful,
and it's not something that's casually done. I think that
(12:08):
delivery and timing do matter in these situations, but that
you know, ultimately, can you have a relationship that's based
on an illusion?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Do you think some people Sarah? Have you found that
some people enjoy being the bearer of bad news?
Speaker 6 (12:25):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (12:25):
God?
Speaker 5 (12:28):
I mean I think that some people enjoy feeling important.
I think that some people enjoy feeling like they have
information that others don't. It can give them if you're
if they tend to run that way. Hopefully it's not
a common occurrence, but yeah, I've seen it.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Sure, What about you?
Speaker 5 (12:44):
What do you think?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I do?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I think that the people wake up looking it's almost
like an anteater, like like what can I what can
I suck up to just spit out and make someone's
day badly?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Those kinds of people like exist. Oh, that's icky.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
It is, it is, and it's it's unfre fortunate because
what you you know, if you're just going to focus
on that person, you're you're typically going to say, a
pretty lonely person. This is not somebody who invites connection
and intimacy into their life.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, and I'm not suggesting that the sister who looked
at the iPad is that person. But now I don't
at all, But I do think that that there are
people who would and do go through life hoping to
find some bad news that they can then deliver.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, get pleasure out of that a little bit, the
pleasure playground.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
All right, we're going to take a quick break.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
It's therapy Thursday. When we get back. Are you in
a relationship with someone who's never around? Are you traveling
Casanova or casanves stay with us, Welcome back Therapy Thursday.
Three friends coming together to help you out. Basically, That's
(13:53):
what someone said, Hey, what's therapy Thursday about? I said, Well,
it's about therapy and helping people with their problems. And
Ryan and I have been doing a radio show getting
a lot of influx of people with problems, and we
know a licensed therapist.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Oh, by the way, I'm Ellen Kay, I'm Ryan Manno,
and I'm Sarah Dash and you are our licensed therapist friend.
So we said syme in.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
We're getting so many people calling and we're not experts
like Ryan and I could say, well, I had a
friend who did this, all right, but you have a
practice and you see this, you have experience. Yeah, And
so we are hearing from a lot of people. This
is from Kim. So Kim wrote to us. You can
get to us a lot of different ways. Leave us
(14:36):
a talk back, you can write to us, DM us
whatever you want. But it says I'm dating Micah. He's successful,
driven and travels two hundred and forty five days a
year overseeing major product installations. He's built an incredible life
and he's brought me into it. I live in his
beachfront home. I drive any of his three luxury cars.
There are surprise gifts and jewelry, the kind of treatment
(14:59):
of my friends about They tell me that I've won,
but I feel completely alone. And Micah has invited me
to travel along with them. But I have my own businesses,
pilates in yoga studio. I don't want to give that up,
and I don't trust relationship that mostly exists without me
in it.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
So she goes on. I don't know where he is
half the time.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I don't know who he's meeting, who's charming, because he
is charming and that's part of how he got so successful.
My friends think I'm crazy for even questioning this. Do
I hold onto the man who gives me everything? Or
walk away because the one thing I want is the
one thing he can't give me. That's his presence.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Ooh, okay, so he's gone all the time, but when
he's around, you get spoiled. Right, two hundred and forty
five days a year, it's most of the year. Like
how many baseball games are there? Ye, one hundred and eighty,
one hundred and eighty two.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
See, this is more than a professional athlete.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
There's a lot of physical separation in this relationship. I
hear that as less of a problem than there's not
the predictability, there's not Does it seem like there's like
a through line of communication. So she's untethered, like she
doesn't know where he is, doesn't know when they're going
to talk. So I think that is destabilizing. But also,
(16:13):
these are two people who are both putting career and
their individual pursuits over the partnership. So it's not like
he's a bad partner or a bad person. They're just
kind of doing their lives a little differently right now.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Okay, you know it jumped out to me.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And I don't know if you noticed this, Sarah with
your trained eye as an LMFT, I didn't hear a
lot about the love. I didn't hear her say he
makes me feel X, Y and Z when we're together,
or what I love about him. It was I get
to drive his three cars, I get to stay It
is because, yeah, there's a lot of focus on the things,
which clearly she enjoys bite, but where I'm not reading
(16:50):
a lot of love.
Speaker 5 (16:51):
No, And you're right, she's describing a very luxurious lifestyle,
and I think that she enjoys that. I don't think
there's anything wrong with it. But the last of presence,
she's not grounded in the relationship, and whether you know,
whatever her friends think, this relationship is getting so much
validation from her friends, and I think, yeah, I think
(17:12):
it complicates it for her. But no matter what her
friends think or what anybody else would think, it doesn't
sound like this relationship is working for her right now.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
She's lonely.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Think it would be great, Ryan, You're right if she
would have put a line in the letters said, I
can't wait for him to get home so we can
snuggle and watch Netflix and rub our feet together till
we fall asleep or you know whatever, or we love
waking up and having coffee together. Then he tells me
all about his day, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Right, or like we're watching this on Netflix and we're
doing a we're halfway through building a puzzle or something.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Something something shares no connection, right, yeah, or at least
that we're hearing that.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
That's I guess what I'm taking.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
No, but that's a really good I mean, that's very perceptive,
you know. I think that you picked up on that
there's not a mention of how she feels in his presence.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Can a relationship like this work if, even if it's
unconventional to the three of us or to anyone watching
or listening, right, Ken, this work if both people almost
you almost have to not care in order for it
to work.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
Right, right, That sounds like Kim care is more than
he does exactly.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
I think it can work beautifully if both people are
on the same page. Okay, yeah, but it's just not
what's working for her now. And maybe it was working,
you know, three years ago, however long they've been together.
But I hear that she wants something different now and
that could mean not necessarily ending the relationship, but just
more transparency, more predictable communication.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Huh. Okay. So I have a friend who moved into
a beach house.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
There were no luxury cars and spoil things like spas
and jewelry and all that, but she did move into
his house and she loved it because she was living
in a little apartment. So she moves into his beachfront home.
He's gone a lot, right, So she's there. She's got
her toothbrush there, she's got the tooth you know everything.
She opens up a drawer where his shaving stuff was,
(19:02):
and there were little notes in there, and it was
different flight attendants.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
So he was.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
He wasn't a pilot, but he was flying around and
he had he was getting notes from women and phone numbers. Okay,
so I mean maybe he he likes to have a
grounding at home, like you're my girl at home, but
I'm on the road just seeing all kinds of women
having so much fun.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
And that's fine if she's okay with that, right, and
maybe she has her own, you know, relationships when she's here,
when he's gone.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
I mean, they should invite other guys over to his house.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
I mean there's really there's really no right or wrong.
There's only whether this works for her or not.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Okay, do you, Sarah, do you deal with a lot
of people that you know, clients, and you know I
don't know if you can share this, but that that
travel and almost use the road as an excuse to
not confront the present or the future.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
It's like their escapism.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
So you're saying that their life on the road is
really their real life, or that they actually or that
they just compartmentalize.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Out is I think that people do.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
Absolutely.
Speaker 5 (20:15):
People compartmentalize all the time. You know, we put things
in little boxes and it's more manageable for us, which
again I know I'm repeating myself, But no problem with
a lot of different boxes, if everybody's cool with there
being a lot of different boxes.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I have a friend in a relationship. The relationship works.
He's on their road a lot. He says, I like
being out there because I don't really want to be
home with myself. Yeah, and it works for them if
like years and years and years, they're just they they're
doing it.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Listen, guys, I went to Europe with a band for
seven weeks and this was between jobs, and I felt
I kind of hosted a documentary about this tour that
they were fun. And when I got back, I was like,
oh I got to like be alone with me and stuff.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Oh you I felt to that. You get a sense
of like, oh, this is who I am.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
I could also go out there and kind of run
away from some things.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Was it just like the constant distraction of being that
what he loves?
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Distraction, he lives for it. Sorry, right, distract.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Distraction can be a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's it's it's honestly, I see why someone would want
that life. I get it where it's like you don't
you there's a sense of like no one can find me, Oh.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Jeez what Okay, Now let's get to Moses. Moses, thank
you for calling it. Can this work?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Yes? And no?
Speaker 8 (21:39):
Because if you if you make the best of it
when you're together, that brings.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
Up the whole situation up.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Sure, But then when you're not and that's most of
the year. What kind of relationship is that?
Speaker 8 (21:55):
I love will find a way.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Love, We'll find a way. There he is, Moses. Okay, Moses, thank.
Speaker 8 (22:01):
You, thank you, thank you you. You have a blessed day,
and uh, we'll hope to see you live one day.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Yes, thanks for checking in, Moses. Bye, take care, sweet,
very sweet love.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
We'll find a way when when Kim's not lonely. But
she's lonely. So love is not finding a way.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
It's just not working, all right, because I don't hear love. Yeah, well,
she didn't talk.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
To I know about him.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
I know, I know he's good at Kathy. Kathy, you
have a big concern.
Speaker 6 (22:28):
But I'm not hearing anything about love. My God. Just
before I said we love will find a way, love
wasn't mentioned. She didn't say how much she loved him
or how much he loved her.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
That's very true. Ryan brought that up early this morning.
He said, this letter is all about the things, and
you know, poor me, I can't spend time with him,
But nothing was really about him or feelings for him.
Speaker 6 (22:53):
Yes, you know, I kind of think that there's a
stage in our lives where we like that being tamper
and having all these wonderful things, but it kind of
grows old after a while, and you want somebody to
love and to be loved by. And so if you've
gotten to that point, and it sounds like she has,
(23:14):
then it's time to let him go and move on
to find somebody who's ready to be loved and wants
to love you.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Or is he loving lots of people all around the
country that could be.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
And each gift is a is an admission when.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
My husband gets in troublem, I gave a wonderful gift.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
So the gifts are the guilt the gift for sure.
Speaker 6 (23:40):
And he's making this kind of money he can afford
to show these gifts on a lot of different people.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
Thanks Kathy, You have a good day, all right, you too?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
All right, Well, Sarah, I'm dying to know, like what
you would tell her if she was your client. Hang
on to that this therapy Thursday. We'll be right back,
all right, welcome back. So that's all sum it up.
This has been an amazing therapy Thursday, and thank you
for listening to our podcast. Before we get to you, Sarah,
(24:13):
in your professional opinion, Ryan you've got to sum up, Like,
we had two very passionate questions today.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
So it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
I see a parallel here. The first one the sister
who looked at the iPad, right, she found something.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Now it's lost. That relationship, the love is.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
The marriage is over.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Found now lost.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
This one, we just talked about someone's lost something, meaning
the guy's gone and she's just wanting to be found.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Yeah, yeah, that's great, beautifully said thank you. And what
would you say?
Speaker 5 (24:41):
I would say that secure attachment requires presence, whether it's
in person or whether it's from afar. There needs to
be a through line of communication, expectation and predictability. There
needs to be more transparency in this relationship.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I want to get back to this lost in found
Diana found something, you know, the marriage just fought. Yes,
Kim glost something and now she wants to find it.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Boom, I got it, we got it. I like it
to see you next week.
Speaker 6 (25:12):
Thank you,
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