Ep 292: You Deliver Babies, I Deliver Pizzas

Today, this is what's important: 

Surgery, weight loss, google glasses, bear cubs, swimming, the Olympics, St. Patrick’s day, & more. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeart Radio,
the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically
crucially important today on This is Important.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
This guy's right lung is a hot dog factory. If
I'm gonna drink, I want to have eleven drinks. Ladies
and gentlemen.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Welcome to the future.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Let's go and wake you up. Good morning, Yes, good morn.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
Fellows up, guys, welcome, Welcome back, y'all.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hey, guys, what's going on with you? What's going on
with you? It's life in the fastling brother you know how.

Speaker 5 (01:04):
Thank you for asking. I never know when you're joking.
But this feels genuine, it does.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
It feels very real. I have things I want to unpack. Wait,
let's unpack that.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
If you could shut up for a second, Adam, Hey,
how are you.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Well? You guys didn't say anything. I asked how you
were and then you said, Wow, this feels genuine. This
was genuine.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
I couldn't find a parking spot the other my dad
has a new lung.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Shut the fuck up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, Sorry, guys.
So he's got a pretty big thing to talk about.
It it is, but can we move on? It's not fun.
And we talk about the parking spot for a second. Okay, yeah, no, no, no, no,
let's talk about the parking spot.

Speaker 5 (01:43):
So parallel parking, super high curb, I park so good.
And then my kid goes, Daddy, I can't open my door,
and I go, why.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Don't you climb out the window? That's wow? So your
dad got a new lung. Huh did you really did it?
Climb out the window and stick?

Speaker 5 (02:00):
If your dad actually got a new lung, then yeah,
he did climb out the window.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
He did.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
That really happened?

Speaker 2 (02:07):
He did? He did? Okay, then same long he was Uh,
he was on the list for only five days? Can
you believe it? Can I tell you something? I made
it happen. I found a god DERs pulled some strang. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (02:25):
I mean, that's gotta be a movie, right where someone's
on the waiting list for something and someone's like, what
blond Q, go ahead, tell me more, tell me more.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
That's what it's about.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
It's about, Well, they refused to get his son like
a new body part, so he takes the hospital hostage.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Denzel Washington, it's really good.

Speaker 5 (02:43):
Okay, So the movie I'm talking about yours is more
of A romp is somebody who goes around asking what
blood type people are and then kills them and is like, look, look,
look look this guy.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Guy, he got long. He got long. I like that.
We need that. He's high, he's sigh, he's dead. Uh yeah, dad,
he has the the the the I think it's oh
negative or oh positive, the one that is very easily,
Like you can get lungs super easy that blood. So

(03:12):
it was, it was pretty. It was pretty. It was
just lungs for whatever. It was, lungs for days, dude.
But my dad did say a funny thing when they
pulled because they had a breathing tube down your throat,
right and it has to stay there for a day
or so. Sure. Uh And when he pulled it out,
he said, is he goes that gourd fucking sucked? And

(03:34):
I'm like, cool, cool, first words back, Yeah, yeah, that's
gonna be I thought you were seeing up like a
real clever thing, but he was just kind of saying
something matter of fact that yeah, oh yeah, yeah, Well
it's not gonna be clever, it's just gonna be fucking
matter of fact.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
How deep down do they put that tube? How deep
does it go? Over and I'll show you.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
I think he goes all the way into his lungs obviously, ship.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
What a how long was this surgery? We get into
the details. Do we get in the nitty gritty? What
walk us through it? Did you hold his hand?

Speaker 2 (04:05):
I mean I think it was like six hours? Six
hour surgery.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Goddamn, that's too long.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
It was very long. He was having backspasms. I'm like,
welcome to my world, and.

Speaker 5 (04:16):
Uh during it, but he's under and he's afterwards, No
afterwards because it's because they can torture in all kinds
of weird ways.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
And then uh yeah. And then he was in a
lot of pain for a day. But then the next
day he goes, I'm not in any pain. And then
they go, well, we are giving you stuff for it.
And I'm like, oh, like de Lawton or like some
like real pain medicine. Uh, And they go, no, we're
giving him Gaba Pettin, which is the ship that I
take for my nerve pain, right, And I'm like, oh,

(04:45):
it must it must be so much Gabba Pettin. And
I'm on nine hundred milligrams three times a day.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
We can really yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
And he's on one hundred milligrams twice a day, and
I'm like, oh, I'm feeling I'm a bitch, I'm a
bit crazy. But it is truly crazy. He's up and
walking already. It's modern modern medicine, dude. Yeah, it's fucking wild.
They opened up, they carved through his chest here, open

(05:13):
it up, and then they use like a crank where
they just and the chest goes the chest cavity, the
chest cavity and open alien then they just get in there.

Speaker 5 (05:25):
I feel like I saw that on the famous episode
of Tales from the Crypt where the guy goes into
surgery but he somebody gives him like a serum that
makes him a lot like awake and feel all the
pain but can't.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
Right.

Speaker 4 (05:40):
Yes, yes, it's a great Yes, it's a big fear
of some people to be like put under, but you're
still awake, so yeah you can. You can't feel it,
but you know that it's or is it that you
can feel it but you can't say anything.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
I have had that happen, yeah, Adam, right, I have
had that happen, because I've had.

Speaker 5 (05:58):
You've said a few things that I want to back to,
like your dad had back spasms and you're like, welcome
to my world.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
That's just amazing.

Speaker 5 (06:07):
They just and then also that you think you're a
bitch for taking maybe too much medicine. Yeah, I think
maybe over prescribed. Is It's not that you're a bitch.
I think maybe too much. Not your phone.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Well then when I I've tried to take less and
then the spasms come back, so I just take a
ton of it. Welcome your own world, Welcome to my world.
But what did I just say that? You were like, oh,
we want to uh circle back to this.

Speaker 5 (06:32):
I already circled back to both of them. Oh okay, yeah,
so awesome, dude.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Nice. Yeah, so it's sick, but so your your dad
that the we and then we went into the oh no,
what happened? But your dad go, yes, no, I woke
up during the surgery before you have oh yeah, and.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
As a bit as a bit you did it. You're like, yeah,
it was.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Just like this this would be funny surprise. But it
was one of my legs. I remember. I just came
to and they were like very much's like oh ship,
yeah yeah yeah, and quickly put the fucking gas mask
back on me.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
And right, did you like tell me more?

Speaker 4 (07:08):
Tell me more like did you shoot awake or was
it kind of like what are you guys doing to
my leg?

Speaker 5 (07:13):
No?

Speaker 2 (07:14):
It was groggy, and I remember, and I didn't feel anything,
but I could like see them down there whipping in
nanane on my legs.

Speaker 4 (07:23):
Sure they were the doctors. You caught your surgeons making
a TikTok.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, well it was before TikTok said they were just dancing,
they were just biting. Yeah, it was before whipping in
name as, before even there was a term for it.

Speaker 4 (07:41):
Yeah, I mean that's got to be why surgeries take
so long, right, because if they're really going at it,
these things shouldn't take longer than two hours, right, like
six hours? What the fuck are you doing for six hours?
You think they're busy dancing?

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Well, I mean for sure after an hour, so you're
getting kind of bored. You want to say, we want
to snack? You want to And also you're hunched over
this body, you're tensing up. You gotta you gotta stretch
it out. And also what's going on on Instagram? You
haven't checked that in an out exactly? Thank you?

Speaker 3 (08:13):
You have someone like hold it up though, right, Yeah?

Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, scratch my nose because you got to see reels.
You got to see what the algorithms pushing you. Absolutely,
and then it's also kind of fun to see other
doctors and what their algorithms pushing them. And you're like, oh,
I never actually don't get that in my feed. That's
kind of fun.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Yeah, right, you know that is interesting, like check a
dating app. Of course you gotta be on the dating apps.

Speaker 5 (08:38):
Sure, you just tell them swipe left, slap left right,
what do you guys like, should I?

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yeah? Throw iteah good call. Yeah. So that was that
was the That was the big news over here is
just and then and.

Speaker 5 (08:50):
He didn't wake up with anything in his body, like
fucking pliers that they forgot, or like half half a
hot dog bun.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
They've yet to find it. They've yet to find it.

Speaker 4 (08:59):
They're like, oh shit, this guy's got a belly full
of hot dogs.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
He's got a lung full of hotos.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
So we were able to do the hot dog surgery.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
And like, you mean the lungs, you mean the right lung.
I'll be right back.

Speaker 4 (09:13):
The cause of this guy's right lung is a hot
dog factory.

Speaker 5 (09:17):
Hot and while they're in there, they tie his tubes.
You know how you can get like another surgery while oh.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, while you're under, They're like, we could also Yeah,
did they do any light bo any like abs? How
hilarious would it be if they gave him like a
full facelift? He comes out and Dynasty is just.

Speaker 5 (09:33):
Looking stood, you're getting the ab the ab implants? Now
what's that about? Like they have like a fat belly,
but you can see like the ab fucking outline.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
But are dudes getting that? Yeah? Sure, yeah, would we
consider them dudes? Oh dude, great, I'm a man brother?
Are we revoking man? Is this the you make this
a weekly bit where we revoke man cards? Do you
think you're a dude? You're getting abit plans?

Speaker 4 (10:03):
Well, first off, what do they put in there to
make the abs? That's gonna kind of change my love?

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Wouldn't you like to know? I don't know, silicone fucking rubber?
You know? Man card gone? Man man revoked? Hey, but
what if it was fucking mahogany? All right? What do
we do? Wow, we're talking? I actually kind of do it.
I actually kind of like this bit.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
What if you're six pack was a six pack of Budweiser.
Now your man card is doubled and it's good for
a year.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
You're getting stamped. And then at Tiba could just press
put a thumb on your belly.

Speaker 5 (10:37):
And shot shot in your belly button.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
He's just like co TUSI.

Speaker 5 (10:41):
And then he drinks beer out of your dude. I
don't know where he drinks be around, don't know where
he drinks it. Wherever it comes out of, wherever it
comes out of.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Todd says they're made from solid cohesive and soft silicon
designed it feel like firm muscle tissue. Your boobs are huge, great,
we get them, you know. And I'm I'm all for
beating freak athletes and and maybe taking hg H or
testosterone or whatever just a little, just a little touch

(11:11):
so I don't lose these fucking shick games.

Speaker 5 (11:13):
I had a really good conversation about g l p
ones yesterday with an unnamed person.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
And what are gop ones again?

Speaker 3 (11:21):
The like the fat shot where you can lose weight,
this fat shot.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
G P one. I don't know what we God stop,
we go V. I always just called them we we
we We'll go V. Yeah. Audible arts.

Speaker 5 (11:36):
Okay, yep, I mean I guess everyone does. Yeah. So
I had a conversation with power wheels.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
Well, go be I'm loving it. Specifically, we gov.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
Have it, we go by way, have it your we.

Speaker 5 (11:54):
Go be Okay, I saw seen this, just will go
be it. I haven't seen this guy in a few months.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
Well, he was also just sitting up.

Speaker 5 (12:06):
And I was like, whoa dude, you were hemmed up
sick and lost some weight. And he goes, well, I'm
also on GLP once and I was like, oh, You're
the first person who I've seen lose weight and has
just told me that's good. Usually it's a lot of
women I know who I just I'm like, not, don't ask,
don't tell, not pressing, yep, this is the way.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
Congratulations. You just go hey, you look great.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Congratulations. You've never lost a pound ever ever since I've
known you, and now you're forty pounds down. That's crazy
good for you and honestly good for them. You can't stop.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
You're doing hella, pull up, you're doing cartwheels.

Speaker 5 (12:41):
Yes, what the He's just flat out straight up and
he goes It's the best thing I've ever done.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
He goes like, go back to the doctor.

Speaker 5 (12:50):
Now every metric that was off before just now bounced back.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Into like the green zone. Was this a big man?

Speaker 3 (13:00):
No, no, really, not even that big.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
He said. Overall he's lost fifty pounds.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Okay, okay, I told you right.

Speaker 5 (13:09):
But like he said, now he's what he waited in
college or high school. So I'm thinking he might have
been like two twenty. He might have been two twenty
and he's down to like one seventy something.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
Okay, that's a lot of way.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
That's pretty narnar Banks. Yeah, I know, Binks.

Speaker 5 (13:23):
I was like, and he told me that the reason
he started his inciting incident, shall we say, was sleep
app and you he got like tested for sleep apear.
They were like, you need to lose weight. Now we're
going to put you on this. So we got on it,
and I was like, God, damn it, I need like
a wake up call maybe something so like a heart
attack something.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Or maybe we just take it and we all get
down to our high school weight. That's what I'm talking about,
and Blake, Blake would weigh ninety eight, I would become
afro feet. Blake would weigh one hundred and I would
go back to a fetal. You don't have that much fat. Yeah,
it would be hard for Blake to. I feel lose.
I I just want these titties out. Dude, Blake's already
on well what what gov? I'm audible parts I love.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
I need to get on what gravy? That's what I need.
I need to add pounds, give yourself, give yourself points.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yes, yes, uh, because yes, I feel like Blake doesn't
eat anyways. It is supposed to suppress appetite, right, that's
what he goes. I just I think we would need it.
I think we would benefit need it. I don't know,
but benefit.

Speaker 5 (14:38):
I think we're the same and that like you can
go pretty hardcore for a couple of weeks. Maybe we're different,
Maybe I'm worse, maybe you were worse. But go a
couple of weeks where you're like on a program eating right,
and then you just drive by a place and you're like,
I need to do a little.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
U turn here and just get something in the drive
through real quick, like a shake shack or taco stand.
Think you're worst when it comes to that because I
don't really eat a lot of fast food, but just tacos, Like, yeah,
come home, VIA's Tacos. Shout out to the super Bowl.
The best I have. I have some sick Mexican restaurants

(15:11):
down the street from my house and I I pass in,
go let me gabble. But also my thing I think
is alcoholism. Yeah you know, you know, just not even alcoholism.
But I will say when I do drink, I don't
like to drink to two beers. That to me is
a nothing thing. If I'm going to drink, I want

(15:33):
to have eleven drinks and then usually it's a weekend.

Speaker 5 (15:37):
But here's my question, because I'm the same way, but
it's an atmosphere thing where it's like when in Rome,
when in home, when when in home parts I'm.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
Drunk now, But see, we do so much cool shit right,
like we were just at the Like I went to
Hawaii for that golf tournament and everybody's drinking. So I
drank for a week. Then we came home for a
few days. Then I went to the super Bowl and
then I drank for a week straight. And then from
there we went on the cruise, and let's say we

(16:06):
boozed and then I got plumped up, and then I
kissed her too. I'm kissing too. I gotta get to
And then I saw a wheat wat wat we go
v commercial I was like, let me maybe a gobble. See.

Speaker 5 (16:19):
I went, wait, are we doing high school weights? What
was your high school weight? Blaz or blade?

Speaker 3 (16:23):
Go ahead, but I did want to circle back to
high school weights.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
High school weights? No, but what were you just gonna say?
I kind of forgot oh when.

Speaker 5 (16:32):
You plumped up from our tour and then and also
shout out to the Google glasses.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
But go ahead, yeah, thank you so much, Thank you
so much. I lost I lost my metaglasses. The metaglasses
look so much better. The Google glasses looks so whacked. Dude.
You don't like that?

Speaker 3 (16:46):
Are fresh?

Speaker 2 (16:46):
Dude? I very much don't like that. I look like Starfoks.
You don't look cool. If that's what Starfox looks like,
he doesn't look cool. Those are fifteen years old. These are, yes, yes,
these are very old vintage pieces.

Speaker 3 (16:59):
I think even six years ago.

Speaker 5 (17:01):
I made a video where I was like, ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the future, when they were like eight years old.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
But the thing about the Meta glasses is you find
that you kept those because we all got those for free.
I remember when we got those for free, we were
still shooting workaholics right here. I threw those away. Month
two of having them.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
I just knew they were going to age very fair.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
Well, like these.

Speaker 4 (17:23):
Are these are something you need to have to just
show people what the first one was. Because the meta glasses,
you can't you can't really tell that there's anything going
on other than there's a light that lights up in
the middle. But they looked like sick Oakley's or ray bands.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
But these you, you.

Speaker 5 (17:42):
Know, did you ever have a pair of those new
Meta those new Meta Oakley's?

Speaker 2 (17:45):
You have a pair of them?

Speaker 4 (17:46):
Did I had them for one day during the Super
Bowl and.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
You lost them?

Speaker 4 (17:50):
No?

Speaker 2 (17:50):
No, no, no, no, no, no a day.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
A couple hours.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah. Maybe we went to that one party and you
somehow lost them. And also I was like, I remember
we were going to the party and it was at night.
Wasn't it good? You don't remember how this happened? I don't.

Speaker 5 (18:03):
He got them in the lobby leaving your hotel. Yes,
I remember, And then we went to the other hotel
to be on a podcast that I think we could
mention or maybe we can't.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
I don't know. We can't. Yeah, new Heights, we can,
great new Heights.

Speaker 5 (18:15):
And then we're in the lobby of that hotel, maybe
twenty eight minutes later.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Dude. That's the thing. I did have him a whole day.

Speaker 4 (18:23):
I had got him in the lobby, and we went
to the tight End University party and I had him
on there, and then in the morning I wore him
to the New Heights podcast and I left him at
the New Heights podcast.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
What really? Well, I bet we could get you more.
But but anyways, how fat were you in high school?
I thought you had him for like twenty eight minutes.

Speaker 4 (18:41):
Yeah, anyway, I don't really recall, but I think I
was like one hundred and thirty five pounds or something
that is.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
So thirty five or.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Maybe I was one forty. I don't I really don't remember.
Oh oh oh, yeah, maybe I remember for a while.

Speaker 5 (18:58):
Wait, but and how tall were you? Because how tall
are you? Five eleven or six feet?

Speaker 2 (19:01):
I'm probably five eleven, but you can listen me at
six feet kiss and say, yeah, okay, well I feel
like I'm getting taller, but I that's usually how age works.

Speaker 5 (19:11):
Yeah, I after you after you broke your bag and compressed, Yeah,
for sure.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
They put actually you might have after they put the
cyborg in there.

Speaker 4 (19:18):
They put some inches in me I'll put some inches
in you.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
You gave yourself. Yes, okay, So so you were a
dainty you were very tiny, that's a very tiny. Yeah.
I was very small, so much so that I started
to drink. And was that senior year of high school
because I think, I think we have to talk senior Yeah,

(19:47):
senior year.

Speaker 5 (19:47):
Yeah, wait and sorry you so you weighed that much
and then your sentence was so much so you had
to drink.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
I started to drink.

Speaker 4 (19:57):
What was that like weight gainer way protein, Well, no,
it was it was like Boose boost insure. No, it
was even before that. It was like one of the
first things. Oh, it was Carnation instant breakfast. Do you
remember Carnation insta breakfast? Wait, goupy in an instant.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
I think I've heard of it. But what Yeah? Is
that like something they give to old people so they
don't die because they can't eat food anymore. So they
just that's what insure.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
Boosts for breakfast to insure for Look, I recall telling
my mother. I remember coming to my mother's desk and saying, Mom,
I mean I'm skinny, I'm small, I'm frail. I need
to put on some sort of weight and she who
said that she threw carnation instant breakfast my way.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
That was her answer to I also don't think your
mom really knows. She didn't know what to give you,
and she was just like, okay, just here you go.

Speaker 4 (20:45):
Looking back, probably didn't even have one clue. And it
was before Google, so there was no way to know.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
By the way, senior year of high school was not
before Google, but this was sophomore year.

Speaker 4 (20:55):
I didn't know that senior year was something we were
talking about. Senior year was when I started to kind
of grow.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Did you develop?

Speaker 3 (21:02):
I started to develop?

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Okay, so so we were talking senior year.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
We're not going to say, Adam, would you weigh each
year of your life?

Speaker 2 (21:08):
You tack that on at the end. I think I
was like one hundred and sixty pounds, like one sixty
one sixty five the senior year of high school. Yeah, old,
And that was all dude, that's pretty good. And I
was five seven, five eight and yeah, still.

Speaker 4 (21:26):
Were you fully developed? Like you had armpit hair and
all that?

Speaker 5 (21:31):
And oh yeah, he had like lamb chop what do
you call the lamb chops? What do you call those? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (21:35):
No, I had I had this. Yeah, the big turns Baby,
you had the big Chopper rocks. Yeah, you know me,
I'm a California sun Bear I got I got a
little hair on me. Yeah yeah, I was still. Are
you an otter? I'm short, fury and funny absolute. Are
you an hotter?

Speaker 3 (21:49):
An otter?

Speaker 2 (21:50):
Uh? Yeah, yeah I could be an otter? Why not?

Speaker 5 (21:52):
What's an otter again? Well, a bear is like a
big hairy guy. I think an otter is like a
slimmer hairy guy.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
No, California sun Bear, They're a little time and then
they got like a little golden patch of hair here.
Oh that's why I went with the California December.

Speaker 5 (22:05):
I guess I haven't clicked on that category. Yeah of
peorn Hub adjacent.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
Yeah for sure, no California sun Bears.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
But I will now. Well that's that's what all the
gay guys would call me at uh uh at the Improv.
When I first moved to Hollywood, one gay guy and
I went on, well I went on multiple two gay dates.
That's without meaning too. I'm just whoops, I'm just a
I was just a twenty one, twenty two year old
kid who was excited to be working at the Improv

(22:36):
and these men were like, we should hang out these comics.

Speaker 4 (22:41):
I saw your Dominoes commercial and I love what you're
working with.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
It's all your dump truck of a Domino's commercial. And
they they said, and I didn't know what they meant.
They're like, you're like a little bear cub and I
just was like, yeah, I guess I'm like kind of tiny,
but like ferocious.

Speaker 5 (22:59):
Is that what they Yeah, I'm more of a Dodgers fan.
Now you start over talking sports, huh.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah. And I didn't know that they were. They were
sussing me out to see if I was gay. They
were they were sussing and I didn't know, And I'm like, yeah,
I guess I am a bear cub.

Speaker 4 (23:16):
Man.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
I do want to hear a conversation where one guy
thinks it's about sports and the other guys definitely talking
about gay stuff. I might have to go right that
and then live it or something.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (23:27):
That's a sketch for sure. Dude, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Someone's doing that. I'm a dude.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
I mean, if that guy doesn't choke up on the bat,
you're telling me.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yeah, high school, you're real, You're you're a tight ends
his batting average.

Speaker 5 (23:41):
I'm sure there's something I wonder.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
I wouldn't mind letting him steal home plate, you know
what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, that's important.
That's how you win games, so definitely on you win games. Yeah,
it is. You know, there'd be fireworks after that. I
love the firework, except yeah, of the game, Oh my god,
after a big win.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
Yeah, if I couldn't suck cock could be started to dash.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Wait what sud death?

Speaker 5 (24:10):
Yeah, you just gonna go through It's it's loud.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
It's loud in the bars, so you're like yeah, yeah,
yeah for sure.

Speaker 5 (24:17):
But also it happens the other way too, where it's like, yeah,
I mean he was an m v P this year,
all right, I.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
Haven't actually heard that. Is that like a DP?

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (24:26):
Yeah, what's that designated picture?

Speaker 3 (24:29):
I don't even know if that's a hump ep.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
Still a thing?

Speaker 4 (24:33):
Yeah for sure, sure is sure they have talked about
getting rid of it in the NL, but actually that'd
be the al.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Yeah, I wouldn't mind slobbing on his knob. Uh yeah,
well I guess if you want to grip lower on
the bat, yeah, more torque, yeah, okay, spitball, just like
what's important. Spitballs were technically they're illegal. How good they feel?
You could fist his asshole throat. You're so hard on

(25:03):
your pall you could.

Speaker 5 (25:05):
I guess you could fist his fastball, but you might
break your hand.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
It's actually happened to me before. Funny you should say that.

Speaker 4 (25:12):
Yeah, I was drinking them off so hard I broke
my hand.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
Yeah, there's jerks out there, man, nothing like a good teammate.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
I like the guy he take me in.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
I've tagged teamed a couple of guys. Yeah, pro wrestling pan, sure, man, I've.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Seen I've been in some pretty nasty dugouts. Yeah, oh yes,
this was just this was just me at the Hollywood
improv when I was twenty.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Years I like.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
I like that we're pitching.

Speaker 4 (25:44):
It's like in a loud bar, but this is before
you're open, so it's really quiet and you're just completely
like sure, yeah, yeah, that.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Is too good. I kept my cleats on the whole time.
So how big were you in senior year of high
school than Jersey Because there isn't much of a difference.
I usually weigh about one eighty now, so once sixty
five that's not crazy. Post high school. Nice, I was
one seventy five.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Wow, man, meat mountain.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah you were. You were long and lean. You Let
let that sit there for a little. Now you're two
thirty forty fifty eight. That seems right. Holy crap.

Speaker 5 (26:28):
No, I'm kissing too. I'm kissing too this morning. But
in college I upped yardage in practice and lost weight
and was in the one sixties, which was insane.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
I was like dying. I don't understand what any of
that just meant. You upped yardage like on the swim team, Okay,
that means you swam further.

Speaker 5 (26:47):
Exactly, okay, and so like burning muscle, even though I
was stronger and more powerful, Uh.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
Lost weight, which I wish I didn't.

Speaker 5 (26:56):
I wish I maintained a little bit of that muscle,
bit of that power.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
That sweet musk.

Speaker 4 (27:02):
When you're upping yardage, are you upping it in increments
that are useful to swimming, like, because there's only certain
lengths of races, right, correct?

Speaker 2 (27:13):
Correct?

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Yeah, So it's specific to what you usually do.

Speaker 5 (27:16):
Right, So if you're in the distance group, you practice
over there at sprinters are over here, mid distance are
over there, right, But like there were people who were
coming from high school programs where they're like, oh, I'm
used to doing way more and I was like, that's
crazy because this is working my ass to the bone
right right. But yes, sprinters didn't do as much as
like the distance dogs, which is just a whole other situation,

(27:37):
thank god.

Speaker 4 (27:38):
So what ended up being your specialty? Were you a
distance guy or were you a sprinter? I guess I sprinter,
sprinter power power, so dope, quick twitch muscles. Yeah, you know,
that's is it? Sprinting is always kind of cooler than
distance in my opinion, those are like the rocks dogs.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
Yeah, what's more palatable for people to sit and watch?

Speaker 2 (27:57):
Right? Like, yes, super boring the Olympics when it's what
it is. What's the long distance race? I don't. I
have no clue. Who cares when you're watching the longest swimming? Yeah?
For swimming. The fear is it ever gonna end? It
goes you like go, you make a sandwich, you come back,
you eat the sandwich.

Speaker 5 (28:15):
This is why Katie Ladecki, Katie Laducky is basically like
Michael Phelps, just right below him, only because of what
he did in Beijing with like the eight metals and
all that but she's unreal.

Speaker 3 (28:26):
But she's a distant swimmer, so it's just not as.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Like, not as exciting. You don't want to watch it.

Speaker 5 (28:30):
Yeah you don't care. But literally, like she swam for
like ten years and no one beat her ever.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
And I'm just crazy.

Speaker 5 (28:38):
That's how possible in a distance, in a distance which
is arguably harder.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
Well, but let me just tell your luggage this.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
Way, who cares?

Speaker 5 (28:47):
She definitely had a speedo back, but no, the sprinting
like Michael Johnson the gold shoes, like right, the Showman show.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
Now, Now, do long distance swimmers ship their pants the
way long distance runners shit their pants? No? Wait, yeah,
has anybody ever shipped the pool?

Speaker 3 (29:04):
Do they ship the guys?

Speaker 5 (29:05):
I'm glad you at Well, yeah, people ship the pool people,
I told you people, but not in a race.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
Not in a race, no, just for fun? I had
Have I seen this or was this just a story?

Speaker 5 (29:15):
Someone told me where they were on a relay and
one of their teammates was like, I gotta go to
the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
I go to the bathroom.

Speaker 5 (29:21):
Coach was like the really, we're starting now, and he's like,
I gotta go to the bathroom. They're swimming this person's
like not the first swim, or maybe it was the
first or second, but he like literally bends over to
like get ready to go off the blocks, ships his
pants like down his leg onto the block, jumps in
and like goes and then the other way, Like the

(29:43):
other two swimmers are like, do you have to go?
So I think they're yeah, this is no longer my story.
It's for sure somebody else. And they were like, we
splashed the block to clear that off, but then just
dove in and finish the relay, swam through the diary.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
But dude, but dude, see this is what it wouldn't
bother I mean, it would be gross, but it wouldn't
bother me that much.

Speaker 5 (30:08):
Yeah, it's a it's a giant pool. It's a giant
it's twelve ounces of diarrhea.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
But you know that it is just like ten minutes
it was a little ship. And then you dive right
through it and you're already through it and you're covered.
We've all seen someone hose for you're covered in in
uh in chlorine. Yeah, so it's all good, baby baby, You.

Speaker 5 (30:30):
Would think so, but then you hear stories about how
just like one baby takes a ship at like a
huge beach and then everyone gets e COLI. Yes, exactly,
but anyway, but they had to swim through it and
swam through it, and it was like their story legend.
There's no the marathons. Marathon as shit their pants for
a few reasons. It's that long, right, You're out there
for a long time, and you're taking all this like

(30:53):
like gels and stuff that fuck with your stomach in
a major way and can give you dive.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
Why are you taking gels just like energy pouches and.

Speaker 5 (31:02):
Shit, exactly exactly because you're you're burning all that energy.
You've got to be playing and sometimes you can fuck
with your tummy.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
They call it tummy troubles.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
Dude. Yeah, I mean, okay, well that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
I know.

Speaker 4 (31:16):
The Winter Olympics were quite some time ago. But did
you see the speed skater person?

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Is it over? Yeah? It's been over for a real
just right now?

Speaker 4 (31:25):
Really really did you see the speed skater that got
the fucking skate like to the eyeball, like almost got
their eyeballs.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
I've heard about that.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
It was very scary. It was very scary.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
I I didn't watch hardly any of the I just
find it the Olympics. The Winter Olympics much more boring
than the Summer Olympics.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
I do too, and people got on my ass when
I said that. People I like to get involved.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
I know you do, durs.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
I think Summer Olympics is by far better.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
It's by far better. I don't compare the two.

Speaker 5 (32:03):
I just don't compare the two, Okay, I like that,
like that, I I I look into the Winter Olympics
for what it like. I don't really care about figure skating,
but I'll turn it on and I'll go, goddamn, that
dude just fucking jumped and spun a lot of times
and then landed it or didn't or whatever.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
And his costumes are so freaking cute.

Speaker 3 (32:23):
Dude, the costumes.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
Aren't for me, or like that one, the one he
wore like that.

Speaker 4 (32:28):
The cone was his name was the quad God, the
quad God. And it wasn't about his his quad muscles.
It was about how much he spun in the air,
which I had to find out later.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
I think, which you couldn't believe. You're like, how is
it not about his mouse? You watched watched all of
the figure skating of the male figure skating.

Speaker 4 (32:50):
Dude watched this guy was set up to win man
he had in the bag and he completely biffed it.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
Dude, Yeah, coast, it does.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
It's a big stage. It s what's homegirl name? Who
came back to skiing?

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Uh oh when she.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
Like tore her ship off and then she just was like,
I'm gonna just ski anyway.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
I mean, now, I'm fucking this is just.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
But everyone at home, you're screaming at your telet, your Netflix.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
And no and by the way, no one knows. No
one watched the Winter Olympics. No one really cared. Kind
of who gives a ship when when like baseball finally
kicking back up, the basketball playoffs are coming, that's what
Americans care about.

Speaker 5 (33:34):
Again, I'm not comparing it to those things. I'm I'm
watching it.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
For what it is. The I like the stories.

Speaker 5 (33:41):
Also, there's a certain level of like, not obviously somebody
you say, panash, Yeah, yeah, well there's definitely that, thank you.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
There's a certain level of like most.

Speaker 5 (33:54):
Of these people, not all, but most these people are
doing this for absolutely zero dollars.

Speaker 2 (33:59):
Yes, they're doing skeletons, Like how much time they dedicate
for this and they get paid nothing? Yeah, when it's
their whole lives. But also, I know, and we've talked
about this before, would it be possible if we started
twenty years ago for any of us to be an

(34:20):
Olympian if you picked a sport that was so specific?

Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah, see, but this is my point.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
Could we become an Olympian?

Speaker 5 (34:29):
But this is my point. My point is this, maybe
we could. Yeah, but would you They did it? They
did it, They did it. That's my point is that,
like we would start on a lark, but like they're
actually grinding and still doing it. Where is it a
certain point you'd be like, is this really worth it
to like be here every night fucking curling just to

(34:52):
prove that I could do it?

Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yes? So Blake has been curling a lot lately.

Speaker 5 (34:56):
Yeah, yes, I have interesting I'm starting to like it
for no pacific reason.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
I went to Winnipeg to just curl. Yeah? Did you
just went to win a big spend a couple of
months up there just to curl any of it? Weirdly,
so when you did that, did you think like, oh,
I could get so good that I could be an Olympian?
Or were you like, I'm actually pretty bad at this.

Speaker 4 (35:19):
It's definitely curling is deceivingly hard. I feel like if
I dedicated every waking hour, I think I could probably
get pretty good.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
But dude, no.

Speaker 5 (35:32):
But that's the thing is like, that's the difference is
it's like, are you going to do that? And there's
and there's almost no like pot of gold at the
end of the rainbow, other than the satisfaction of being
the person who's like, I did it and now I'm
going to go back to my job as an accountant
in the basement of a skyscraper.

Speaker 4 (35:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
And then you go, well, he's an Olympian and people
are like, oh shit, he's Olympian. What were you olympian of?
And then they say like, not that, curling's shittier. But
I think like that that's one of the ones where
people are like, oh, oh ship that with the right
with the rocks, the rocks and the ice, almost all
of them, almost all of them.

Speaker 5 (36:11):
Like if you're like short short track speed skating, which
I think is fucking sick, I fucking love that.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Okay, people are.

Speaker 5 (36:17):
Still like, oh, all right, like we can name maybe
Adam can't, but like we know one short track speed
skater from our lifetime.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Uh. Bonnie Bonnie Blade. No, No, Bonnie Blair was long.
She was long tracked. Bonnie Blade. That's a porn start, dude,
Bonnie Blade, Bonnie Blue. She just fucked like a thousand dudes.

Speaker 4 (36:36):
What about the homie Apollo, That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
I pull this.

Speaker 4 (36:42):
I found that sounds like a fast name. Yeah, he's
the g He was the fucking man. He's just the man.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
And he looks so good in the spandex.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
Oh my god, he's the guy.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
When you want to name it, I mean, you know
their parents were, They're like, we're naming our kid a
name for speed, Apollo. That sounds fast. We're going to
put the skis on him by age two, skates and
fucking shove him out there. We're putting the skis on
him by two.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
He's not gonna take the skis. We're gonna switch the skates.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
He's gonna become a skater science. See this is how
much I don't care. You know what's funny.

Speaker 5 (37:18):
I think they put him on skates and they were like, Apollo,
oh no, over he went over the edge and they
were like, wait a second, what's his name?

Speaker 3 (37:28):
And they go Apollo the Apollo, oh no.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
When they go. Yeah, you know what I would like
to do. What I think we should do. Guys, why
aren't we renting a house up in Mammoth get a
sick chalet? Okay, you guys can go skiing. I'll stay
back with the girls and the kids. Drink whiskey by
the fire. Wait for wait for you guys to come back,

(37:54):
and then we can have a fun night. Wait. Wait,
you're getting hammered with our kids and wives, he said.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
He's a girls. Are you talking about the women were
married to?

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Yeah, the women you're married to and my wife's or
the women well I have daughters or we Yeah, yeah,
I mean they could do too, or they could just
take they're not old enough to drink.

Speaker 4 (38:14):
Adam, what do you know I'm saying, dude, I left
you babysit and now they're all hammered.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
First of all, First of all, your partner's there, so
she's going to be watching after her own kids, Thank
you very much. I will be in charge of my
son as well. Watched. There's no way, Adam, we watch
our children.

Speaker 3 (38:30):
Get that out here, literally, no way.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
Okay, Well fine then I'm in charge, but let it
be known I'm drinking whiskey. Buy a fire, and I'm
not getting black. I'm not getting by fire. There's fire, now,
there has to be fire. We're at a so a fire.

Speaker 4 (38:46):
The adults are skiing while you're getting hammered next to
a bonfire with the children.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
That's right, all right, man. And if your kids, by
the way, if your kids don't know that fire is
hot at this age, they deserve to be burnt, des
there to be burned because you know what, you know
what trial by my son does. We have a fire
pit in our backyard. You know what he does when
it's on. Let me He walks up to it and goes,
oh hot, hot, hot, and doesn't touch it because he

(39:13):
knows that it's hot.

Speaker 5 (39:14):
It sounds like a genius. Yeah, okay, you know we
just we can do this, Adam.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
We don't have to. I have a house. We can
do this. But it's so it's too far, dude, it's
way up in It's it's like four states away. It's
so far away.

Speaker 5 (39:30):
It's literally an hour and ten minute flight from Burbank.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
It's so good. Not we could do that. Yeah, we
could do that. We'll mark our calendars, we'll make it happen.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
All right, you can ski. The skiing is just a
half hour away.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
See. But I was told by by Isaac that it's
because I've had this idea before that we should all
go up there. Is it large enough to house all
of us? Yeah? Okay, okay, okay, let's getting radical. Now.
Is there a place to have a fire. There's a fireplace.
I love that. Okay, then then I think it's fucking olm.

(40:07):
Maybe okay, that would be really nice. Let's do it now.
Is it one hundred degrees up there? Because down here
in southern California it's been eighty five degrees every damn day.
It's been ninety something up in La I live at
the beach. It's eighty five degrees here. It's ruthless.

Speaker 3 (40:31):
It it twas a hot Saint Patty's Day.

Speaker 4 (40:33):
I can't recall one that hot. I was cooking a
corned beef in the house. I'm like, I don't even
this seems a little too hot.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
Let's talk Saint Patty's Day? Please? How crunk did you
get on Saint What? I always think of Blake when
I think of Saint Patty's Day. That was his favorite holiday.
Raised by an irishman raised by an irishman drinking beer
from the time. Well I'm Irish too, the O'Donnell family.
But he was raised by an irishman.

Speaker 4 (40:57):
Absolutely Chicago Irish, absolutely as good as gets sure.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
So, uh, did you drink from the time you got
up to the time you went to bed?

Speaker 4 (41:06):
Or Sadly, those those days are behind me. Those days
are behind me.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
We left just like eighteen eighteen days ago the crew
we are.

Speaker 4 (41:16):
Days of Molly Malone's and tom Bergins are behind me.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
Man, we used to put in time. Dude, dude, I
have a I have a four leaf clover at tom Burgins.

Speaker 4 (41:26):
Oh so I cherish. I cherish this and what is
that that is?

Speaker 2 (41:31):
If you? If you tom Bergins is a is a pub,
an Irish pub all fair Fax, just a few blocks
from where Biggie was shot and murdered. Okay, hey, that's
a cool fact.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
It says he says that on the door Biggie would
go had just got done at the.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Pub, and it's have you never been to tom Bergens? Dude,
it's sick. It's uh oh yeah, it's the best. It's
four leaf clovers all over the wall and if you
drink there enough, they give you a four leaf clover. Hey, thanks,
you did in one night. Hey you got it. They
didn't like they're supposed to be like a little ceremony.
I came in and they go, hey, look your name's

(42:07):
up there. And I look up where I usually sit
and it says a divine and I was like, shouldn't
it be a bigger thing? And They're like, oh, fucking
we put it up there. And I was like, oh, okay, gotcha.
And this is years ago. This was like in two
thousand and eight.

Speaker 4 (42:22):
It was like the biggest honor of your life at
that time, Yeah, of my life. And they just were like,
oh yeah, we stuck another one up there, and we
stuck your name up there.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
And I was like, oh, thanks, thanks for fucking sick.
Thanks Tom. Can we do it again? But that bar
was sick. We used to go very drunk there.

Speaker 4 (42:39):
I missed there and Molly Malones, which Molly Malones I
guess burnt down, but they rebuilt it, which is pretty cool.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
It's back Molly Malone's. That's where you called. That's where
you called out of work drunk, which I liked.

Speaker 4 (42:52):
Yes, I was a delivery driver at BJ's and.

Speaker 5 (42:56):
I sing a morning after no day off day of
Ye were there and you called?

Speaker 2 (43:01):
Yeah, I was. He was supposed to do an afternoon shift,
and he just goes, I'm too drunk.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
Hey, yeah, no, I'm definitely sick.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
I'm out of the bar.

Speaker 4 (43:08):
Non honest, purely honest, because I well, I had told
myself that I was just gonna, you know, have a
couple in the morning with Adam, and then i'd go
it's a religious holiday, Yes, I gotta show up, come
on on the strength of the O'Donnell name.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
That's what you told them. He told himself, I'm gonna
just have a few in the morning with Adam, you
green one before I go do my job is strictly driving. Yes, yeah, yeah, yes, So.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
I know I noticed that that was a bad idea,
and I called my boss and I told him, yo,
I was partaking in Saint Patrick's Day and I probably
shouldn't drive today. And they're like, okay, you're you're off today,
but next time comes for the.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
Rest, you're fired. You're off today tomorrow. Did you get fired?

Speaker 4 (43:58):
Did you get I did get written up, though, I
was written up, which is crazy.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
As an adult, you're like, that's a demerit. But that
means nothing, right, Like.

Speaker 4 (44:09):
It doesn't doesn't stay on my record, It doesn't follow
me to my next job.

Speaker 5 (44:13):
Like, come on, it does follow you because when they
call for a reference, they're like, who does that?

Speaker 2 (44:18):
He's an uh oh.

Speaker 4 (44:20):
So you're saying BJ's it was like, yo, we're about
to give this guy a show.

Speaker 5 (44:26):
No, But if you were a driver at somewhere else,
they'd call and be like, hey, how was he? I
was a nice guy, but he definitely called in once
and was drunk before.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
So if you tried to get a like a real
driving job, like if you like you wanted to drive
for US or something or FedEx or you or you're
like mailman or drive a fucking big rig baby.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
Yeah, and that's a real driving job.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
That's a real driving I think they're all real. Yeah,
what the hell they're all real. Well, that's more of
a career. I would say, delivering pizza. That's less of
a career. That's something that you're you're doing in between
figuring your life. And to me, it's a real driving job. Okay,
I'm drawn. But the ups that's like people can make
a living and they could raise their family off of that.
Just real, just as real. It's more real, honors, that's

(45:12):
more real. I'm sorry, Yeah, I have to stay. I
have to I'm standing on business. Okay, you're saying.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
The pay is better. Does that qualify what a real
job is and a fake job is?

Speaker 2 (45:23):
Is the pay? And are these real people? It's not
a fake job. I'm just saying that's what you're doing
with your life.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
So if it's not a career, are you a real person?

Speaker 2 (45:35):
Or should? Do you have real dreams? I hate you, guys, dude,
I hate you guys. Are do you have real dreams?
Or are you just real? Sad?

Speaker 4 (45:47):
For some people, it is a it is like a
like what what are we calling that?

Speaker 2 (45:53):
A gig? A gig gig or like job that you're
doing and that you don't care if you get a
temporary job and then I would say a UPS job
or something like that where you can have a salary
that you then could raise a family on or you know,
put a down payment on a house or or whatever.

(46:15):
Because I remember when my buddy I think all all
drivers matter, when he got a job working for UPS.
It was a big deal.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
You know, my uncle was a.

Speaker 4 (46:28):
UPS driver for a very long time. I was hyped
on that real job. Absolutely, But I also.

Speaker 5 (46:36):
As when you were delivering, I think that.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
That wasn't my end goal. I get what you're saying there,
Like I wasn't like setting out to be I.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
Don't think most people that's their end goal. That's maybe
for some people they just ended up doing it forever
and then they're like, okay, but you know what, I
was happy. I was happy.

Speaker 4 (46:56):
I might have been that were you real happy, I
might have been happy being a pizza delivery driver.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
It was a very it was a very wonderful job
for me.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
It's being a father, but that's very cool for you. Yeah,
yeah me.

Speaker 5 (47:08):
You say fatherhood, I say pizza delivery. I'm bringing a
new pizza into the world every day.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
No, let's let's get you deliver babies. I deliver pizza.
I'm a pizza daddy. Do you honestly think that that
was your happiest in your life? Adam?

Speaker 5 (47:24):
And Adam prefaced this with let's get let's get real,
as us drivers go.

Speaker 4 (47:30):
Well, okay, here's the thing. During that time of my life,
I had much less responsibility. So maybe that's what I'm
looking fondly back on. But with that said, now as
I place myself back behind the wheel as.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
A BJ's delivery driver.

Speaker 4 (47:44):
There were many times when I was absolutely furious with
where I was in life.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
I was, yes, I remember you being a very angry
person back then. Yeah, it was.

Speaker 4 (47:56):
It was frustrating because but I did have a bigger
dream that I want to accomplish. And also just being
in traffic and having a ticking time clock, it was.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
It was very tu you know what time clock, ticking
time click. I would say, my master, my guy, happiest
time in my life besides like having kids, which is
in fatherhood and that is the greatest. But you after
season one of Workaholics, when we accomplished season one, and
before and even before it was out that summer, that

(48:30):
summer where we were like picked up to write season two,
but we had like six weeks and all we did
was party and have a great time and know that
we're coming back and going to write the show. And
then the show started to come out. As as that
summer was happening, I was like, this is the greatest
time of my life. That's what I look back at
and go, oh, it didn't get better than that. When

(48:52):
we partied, when we wrapped season one, and we partied
for legitimately two to three weeks straight. We're like every
day just in groups of people were coming in from
out of town to them.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
We just had a case of kissing the ring, kissing
the ring.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
What'd you say? It was kissing? Say that I was
kissing the ring.

Speaker 4 (49:15):
We had a case of champagne, and it was just
like it was just anytime one ran out, we pop
another one. We cut it off with the katana into
the pool and it was just it was very fish.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
There was a lot of glass in that pool. Interesting.
That was the greatest What is the greatest time, dude,
M January sixth, after fatherhood, marriage, after that, obviously obviously
obviously obviously January sixth was a fun run.

Speaker 5 (49:45):
Yeah, that was because it was just it was just freedom.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
It was real freedom, finally taking the taking the house back,
taking the people's house back.

Speaker 5 (49:56):
Honestly, I just felt American for the first time, which
is which sounds weird because I've been American since I
was born.

Speaker 3 (50:01):
But I felt reborn that day after and every day since.

Speaker 5 (50:06):
I don't know, happiest time I you know what, I
here's one thing that I will say, and this kind
of This kind of goat goes back to almost exactly
Blakeland here, which is when when the song listen to
the music comes on. You know that song. I think
it's the Doobie brother Brothers. No, it's like, oh, Doobie Brothers.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
I was. I was an assistant on Bones. I was.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
I was David Borrianas not real. I was fucking David.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
Not a real job.

Speaker 5 (50:39):
Sure, I was not a real job. Of course, I
was barely a real human. But I had I was
working on the Fox lot. I'm in the business. I
have a mini van, so I'm like driving to go
get lunch. That's part of my job. I'm driving to
go get lunch. That song comes on. I'm cruising down

(51:00):
havinge of the Stars in Century City. I blast that
song and I'm like, you made it, Yep, you made it.
You're getting paid to drive around La get people lunch,
go back in break stories type shit down. Listen to
these people who like are doing what you want to do.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
You've made it. You're there. I remember telling my sister
that when she would get so mad that I'd be like, hey,
can you go get his coffee bean? And She's like,
Because my sister was a pa on orcolics, a production assistant,
and uh, you say, she did great? Yeah, okay, great,
yeah she did she did do great. But she would
like to me. She was like, can you just get

(51:41):
coffee bean? There's a coffee Bean right down the street,
or okay, there's a Starbucks right down the street. Coffee
bean is like two miles away. And I'm like, Brittany,
your whole job is just to go get the coffee bean.
Put on music, take your time, go to the coffee bean.
And She's like, this chid fucking sucks. And I'm like,
put on the Doobie Brother their song, and just cruise, dude, dude.

Speaker 5 (52:02):
So every time it comes on, I'm instantly transported back
to that exact moment where I was just like, this
is it. I'm wearing sunglasses that have like a wooden frame.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
I remember you wearing those sunglasses.

Speaker 5 (52:16):
And and a polo that had like, oh you were
wearing those two little x'es right here, and I'm gonna
and I'm wearing rainbow flip flops and I'm cruising.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
I remember somehow Durs got us on the Fox lot.
This job I know, and remember we were just like
on the Fox lot and just being there. We're like,
this is the fucking coolest. Crazy. When I shot A
Modern Family, we shot it on the Fox lot, and
at lunchtime, I would just like walk around because it's
the fucking coolest being on those old movie studio lots.

Speaker 5 (52:48):
I thought you were gonna's say. You kept telling people
you'd been there before.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
I've actually been here before. It sucks that they're all closing.
It really is really cool. I was actually here one time.
I've been here once. My buddy U was an assistant
production assistant on Bones, So David Brians heard of him.
He was FU heard of him. Oh my god. But yeah,
I mean larch head. So whatever.

Speaker 5 (53:11):
As far as like happy at times looking back adulthood,
like to kind of just steal from Blazer, I do
remember being like this is it. You're you are living
and getting paid to just be in the business now.
And also I'll say, like the late night punch ups
we would do on Workaholics, where like there was nothing

(53:32):
else happening in the universe where I'd rather be Yes,
I'd rather just be right here, you guys.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
Especially those first couple of seasons, those first like two
seasons when when we were still in Burbank, and and
we were riding downstairs, and upstairs was the office set.
We would go up there at night and and just
like you're kicking it on the set and smoke weed stuff.
Oh uh, the fucking And also like when our kids

(54:02):
are born in that house, and also that but really
for sure both of my kids of them. Yeah, but
really that summer.

Speaker 4 (54:11):
Help me. Hey, guys, This segment of take Back's Apologies
and Epics Slams are brought to you by Simple Mills
and guys, I'm sorry I was so cranky this episode.
I had a big meal before and it really dragged
me down.

Speaker 5 (54:29):
Oh no, does your stomach hurt so you're gonna act
like a baby, of course he is.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
Okay, we apologize for making fun of you about that.

Speaker 3 (54:37):
Yeah, come on, don't kick a man while he's down.

Speaker 5 (54:40):
You know you can help prevent this in the future.
Have a light snack like Simple Mills almond flour crackers
or pop'ums. They're so tasty and healthy you can't go wrong.

Speaker 2 (54:50):
Blazer. Yeah, he's right, Blake. You gotta take your epics
snacks seriously so you can keep up with the show.

Speaker 4 (54:55):
Yeah, you guys are right. Simple Mills is the ultimate
epic snack. Actually, before a podcasting session, find simple Mills.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
At your grocery store.

Speaker 3 (55:08):
Is it already that it is? Take backs? No, I
think all jobs are real. What else, dude, it's a
real job.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
I'm not saying it's not a real job. I'm not
saying it's not a real job. I'm just saying it's
not a it's not a Most people wouldn't consider that
a career, Adam.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
And we know you're not most people, bro, we know
you're cut from a different.

Speaker 5 (55:28):
Typ just saying I'm just saying it, of course, of course,
of course, of course, But shout out to all all drivers,
all drivers matter, all drives matter.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
You were one of those, like all lives matter, guys,
that's why you keep saying that. M Okay, I got
I painted a blue line across my but there's doesn't
even see color.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
You don't matter if you're purple or polka dot, yellow.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
White, black, white, polka dot. Netflix.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
They're digging the crates for the OG reference for that.

Speaker 5 (56:03):
But shout out to all old white guys who say that,
who still say I never see colored, black, white, purple.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Hey man, I feel like my dad would say that
he's like poka dot ping. I don't care, and he
really doesn't, but he still says that, and I'm like, yeah,
no one's poka dot.

Speaker 5 (56:18):
But they never say brown, right, They're like black, white,
polka dot brown.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Did I say brown peach? Maybe straight plaid peach? Huh? Hey,
well slightly tanned. Uh.

Speaker 4 (56:34):
I'll give a special elevated shout out to Dennis for
getting a lung.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
Dude.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
That's fucking cool.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
Dude, elevated's that's that's a new thing. Dude.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
Hell yes, brother, Yeah, this tube fucking sucked.

Speaker 5 (56:45):
Shout out to whoever gave him the lung, obviously this person.

Speaker 2 (56:50):
As do we know? We don't know, and we're gonna
write a letter. My mom was like, I'm ready to
write it right now, and I'm like, let's let's wait
a month. Let's let everything settle. I don't know if
they want to get this letter as they're like planning
their funeral or whatever, so let's give it a month
or so and then we can write a letter saying

(57:10):
how much it's helping dad.

Speaker 5 (57:12):
Right, even though he was a murderer who was put
to death. Yeah from Techa in Texas. I mean who knows.
We don't know what it was.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
But deep sea diver hopefully they use Cedar Syani Hospital.
They do fucking magic there, dude. It's crazy being in
the ICU with lung and heart transplants and just like
seeing like shit's going down like this. This guy to
two rooms down from my dad. He died and then
they brought him back to life and now he's just

(57:44):
I mean, he's not doing fine, he's not doing great,
but like they were able to like resuscitate him, which
is fucking pretty unreal. So shout out to Cedar Cyani Hospital.
That's a real job right there. Yeah, God, damn no,
that's a real job. I'll say that.

Speaker 4 (58:00):
Now.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
If you're delivering food.

Speaker 4 (58:02):
Guy delivering baby the lung on ice, that's a real
that's a real I'm sure you have benefits.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
It's a real job. But I but I those people
are are in agreement that even the people that are
doing the gigs, the gig work, they'd prefer to have
a steady job with maybe benefits, I'm sure they would.

Speaker 5 (58:24):
Or maybe they like living by the seat of the
pantsy like the freedom they got auditions they want to go.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
To and maybe maybe they like listening to the.

Speaker 5 (58:32):
Doobie Brothers smoking Doobies ups saying letting you blast Adobie Brothers, the.

Speaker 4 (58:37):
Hey, I want a job, I can call in drug too.
They got Big Brother watching now that ship.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Do they have cameras watching you?

Speaker 4 (58:44):
And then?

Speaker 2 (58:45):
I bet they do.

Speaker 5 (58:46):
I think Amazon is like, you're off route, get the
fun back on route.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
They're like, I just wanted to get a die code.
Why I'm wearing these is to keep you guys. Oh,
I bet that's exactly. I bet they are tracking your
every move, dude, I would hope.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
So, I hope they track everybody's everywhere or other.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
They're not. They're not tracking the garbage men. I'll say
that these garbage men look like, Okay, here's a shout out,
like they're still having a good time.

Speaker 4 (59:10):
I'm big in the surveillance state. I want everybody watched
at all times.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
Oh okay, not me at all. Okay, I think that's
fucking terrifying. Hey, let's pick that up next week because.

Speaker 4 (59:26):
Important, big shout out dynasty.

Speaker 2 (59:36):
Important. I hope his voice doesn't change. Is he like, hey, guys,
it sounds just like that, Okay, perfect that it's important.
Perfect