Ep 314: Uncle Sam Wants YOU To Have A Cock Ring

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the
show where we only talk about what's the most important,
bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Today on This is Important.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Literally, my computer comes up and it was a skull
and crossbones and it goes.

Speaker 4 (00:20):
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Can we see LeBron's foot with a cock ring?

Speaker 5 (00:26):
Let's just say my days of stealing bacon may be over.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Buckle up.

Speaker 6 (00:35):
Yeah!

Speaker 7 (00:37):
Yeah, man!

Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yeah!

Speaker 6 (00:38):
We're back, man!

Speaker 7 (00:41):
Yeah! Dude.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Yes, Satan?

Speaker 8 (00:45):
Yes, sir.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Wait, go through a bunch. Go through a bunch.

Speaker 7 (00:49):
Okay, he got it.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Let's get inspired comedically. I got nothing. So funny. So funny.

Speaker 7 (00:56):
Zip it.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Oh, my God. Comedy God.

Speaker 5 (00:58):
Yes.

Speaker 7 (00:59):
Comedy God. Comedy God.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Comedy Judge.

Speaker 5 (01:01):
What the fuck did I do wrong?

Speaker 2 (01:04):
And what is that from?

Speaker 4 (01:04):
I don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Speaker 7 (01:06):
What the fuck did I do wrong?

Speaker 3 (01:08):
There's some of these I feel like you might have
uploaded and never played.

Speaker 7 (01:13):
They're deep cuts.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
Right before we got on the podcast, Blake decided to
flip off the camera right as sound engineer.

Speaker 4 (01:23):
I think that's what he is.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Mark.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Son came into frame and it looked like Blake was
flipping off his son.

Speaker 7 (01:29):
And I was, I was like, that was rude, dude.
But you weren't, you weren't doing that.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
And it made me think like, cause his son, I
don't know. How old, how old do you think that
son was? A 10 year old son? I'm a terrible,
I don't, I'm not sure.

Speaker 7 (01:43):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
What age were you starting to release the birds?

Speaker 2 (01:45):
You know, it's Adam. It's like off the pot. He's
throwing the birds. And then it's like three, two, one,
we're on. And he goes, I don't know how old
people are.

Speaker 7 (01:54):
Yeah, okay. I'm not sure.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
Just take a fucking shot in the dark, man. I
would say eight, ten.

Speaker 7 (02:00):
I didn't get a good look at the boy. I
didn't get a good look at the boy. So now
he's a boy.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Good enough look to flip him birds, dude, to release birds.

Speaker 7 (02:09):
I wasn't flipping him off.

Speaker 5 (02:11):
I was showing you guys the differences in my fingers
because one is a little bit.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
One is a little wonky.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
One's thick.

Speaker 7 (02:17):
That's the bowling pin.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
I'd like to start with one and finish with the other.
What happened here?

Speaker 7 (02:22):
Wait, what?

Speaker 5 (02:23):
I tried to... My buddy has a diving board.

Speaker 7 (02:26):
Not real.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Already fake.

Speaker 5 (02:27):
And we were trying to do dives. He said his
pool was 10 feet deep. It wasn't that deep. I
went straight to the bottom and I jammed my freaking...
You didn't text me first about this?

Speaker 7 (02:36):
I should have.

Speaker 5 (02:37):
I should have.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
You were out of your depth?

Speaker 7 (02:38):
So wait, you dove?

Speaker 3 (02:39):
You were trying to figure out how deep the pool
was by diving headfirst into the pool?

Speaker 2 (02:44):
No.

Speaker 5 (02:45):
I said before I jumped off the diving board, which
this is why they're illegal now. I said, hey, How
deep is your pool? He said, it's 10. Let's have
like a diving competition. I'm like, okay, I got this.
Went straight up.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
Aren't you in your 40s?

Speaker 7 (02:58):
Yeah, man, I can't do this anymore. I love it.
I can't do this anymore.

Speaker 4 (03:03):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
I need to have more diving competitions with a friend.

Speaker 4 (03:06):
Was it just you two in a backyard? What set
the stage here?

Speaker 2 (03:09):
I need so much more. We got an hour. We
got an hour. Take your time.

Speaker 5 (03:14):
It was when I was back in Concord this past
couple of weeks.

Speaker 7 (03:19):
This is like three weeks old now.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
So this is what I'm imagining. You're down at your
local bar. You're bellied up.

Speaker 7 (03:26):
Whose story is this? You're bellied up.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
And this guy looks over at you and goes, I
got a pool. And you go, no shit, you have
a pool?

Speaker 4 (03:37):
And he's like, I kind of want to do a
diving contest.

Speaker 7 (03:40):
You picked me as a real degenerate.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
Then you guys go over to his pool, and maybe
you think something else is going on.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
You just went up for a diving contest. I don't
know what you're thinking.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
But then you get over there, and it's an actual
diving contest. This is what I'm imagining happening. But it
wasn't this. It was just an old friend.

Speaker 7 (03:59):
Just a random cowboys, like, let's go have a diving contest?
And I'm like, let's go. I didn't say a cowboys.
Let's go.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
No, I was hanging with my old, not even high school,
my elementary school friends.

Speaker 7 (04:09):
The friends I've had for decades. I know them boys.

Speaker 4 (04:13):
What's up, boys?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Did you say not even elementary school?

Speaker 7 (04:16):
No, elementary. Starting in elementary.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard to make friends pre-elementary.

Speaker 7 (04:21):
Second grade.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Hey, we've all got them. Shout out Brian Harper. Where
you at?

Speaker 7 (04:24):
There he is.

Speaker 5 (04:25):
These homies for a long time. My friend Adam, you've met.
He has a pool.

Speaker 7 (04:30):
We know Adam. It's a massive pool. It's one of
the bigger pools.

Speaker 5 (04:34):
And it also has a diving board. This is how
you know it's like a pool that was built in
like the 80s or 70s or 60s.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Right.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Because it's grandfathered in.

Speaker 7 (04:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
And by the way, hey, this is only in California.
It's not a nationwide ban on really.

Speaker 8 (04:50):
Really?

Speaker 4 (04:51):
We're fucking bitches, dude.

Speaker 7 (04:53):
No, no, dude. We're bitches.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Love it or leave it. Love it or leave it.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
There should be more zip-it pools with diving boards.

Speaker 7 (05:01):
No, man. Yes, they're dangerous. They are. They're terrible. They're terrible.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
Terribly fun and awesome.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
No, you just gotta know. You just gotta know what
you're doing.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
But they're dangerous.

Speaker 7 (05:10):
I know what I'm doing. I'm a good diver. I...
I'm too good.

Speaker 5 (05:14):
That's why my hand got hurt. It's because I hit
the water at such a direction.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
So yeah, tell the story. Tell the story. You're doing
just like what? Like a pike? Fucking what are you
doing off this thing?

Speaker 7 (05:24):
I don't know the terminology of swimming. What is a pike?

Speaker 2 (05:27):
It's diving.

Speaker 7 (05:28):
It's diving. It's a dive.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
Where you go like this and then you unfold.

Speaker 7 (05:31):
You like touch your toes and then go straight out.
I can't do that. That's what I was trying to do.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
You know how you like to touch your toes?

Speaker 7 (05:37):
I can touch my toes.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
It's like that on a diving board, I bet you.

Speaker 7 (05:41):
But I can't do it midair.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
So wait, so basically the one dive that everyone that
can dive does.

Speaker 7 (05:48):
You can't touch your toes in midair and go back down.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
Yes, I can.

Speaker 5 (05:52):
Bullshit.

Speaker 8 (05:52):
Adam, it's well documented that Adam is the king of
touching his toes.

Speaker 7 (05:57):
Absolutely not. That is so hard.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Palms to the floor.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
I can touch my toes so easily.

Speaker 5 (06:02):
You're saying you can jump up, touch your toes, and...
then reverse your body down.

Speaker 8 (06:07):
Yes. Blake, you're just describing most kids' afternoon when they're like, okay,
we've all dove that one way.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Everyone can do it. That's the way.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
That's the dive that everyone... That's the dive.

Speaker 7 (06:19):
I don't... Hey.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
If I didn't live in fucking California and I had
a diving board with easy access, I don't have any
diving boards.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
There's no diving boards near me.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yes, Satan.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
They're fucking outlawed, dude.

Speaker 7 (06:33):
I know, as they should be. It sucks.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
By the way, when you hear a diving board in
a backyard, you hear that like.

Speaker 5 (06:38):
Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Hey, look, I used to be able to tear up.

Speaker 4 (06:45):
That grandfather was fucking cool as shit.

Speaker 7 (06:47):
He was. He has a cool ass grandfather. He could
touch his toes.

Speaker 5 (06:50):
I used to be able to tear up a diving board,
but now I have a little more weight on me.
So I go a little deeper when I hit the water.

Speaker 7 (06:57):
A little deeper.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
One of my favorite.

Speaker 8 (07:00):
This is not something anyone will understand, but it's one
of my favorite things ever is when you're on.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Like a real diving board at a pool, right?

Speaker 7 (07:09):
Thank you.

Speaker 8 (07:09):
And it's got that little dial on the side and
you use your foot to kind of crank it for
a little more floppy or a little less floppy.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
Yeah, that makes it tight or a tight spring or
a real flop dog.

Speaker 8 (07:21):
There's nothing more like than watching somebody do it and
be like, this one's about to be crazy.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Crank it, crank it, crank it, crank it.

Speaker 7 (07:29):
I don't know what that is. I've never seen that before.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
It looks like a giant bottle cap on the side
of the diving board.

Speaker 7 (07:35):
You see Blake This is.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
Where you say, what a great diver you are.

Speaker 7 (07:40):
I'm not. And then you don't know what a pike is.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
You literally said that just a few minutes ago. You said,
I'm a great diver, dude. I'm a great diver.

Speaker 4 (07:48):
You said that two or three times.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
We all know Blake is one of those natural athletes. Anywhere, anytime,
he's ready. He might not know the vernacular or even
what he's doing, but he'll do it.

Speaker 7 (08:01):
Obviously.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
I love hyping up Blake. It's one of my favorite things.

Speaker 7 (08:04):
Thank you. Thank you. A little more of that, please.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
It's his second favorite thing after knocking him down 30 pegs. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (08:12):
Winning.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
We know this to not be true. I would say
none of us, the three of us, none of us
are natural athletes.

Speaker 5 (08:19):
What constitutes a natural athlete?

Speaker 2 (08:23):
There's a lot of things I'll say about all three
of us.

Speaker 4 (08:26):
Growing up, you had that kid in the neighborhood.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
That was great at football, that was great at basketball,
that was great at baseball, who got.

Speaker 4 (08:36):
On a skateboard and it clicked.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Sure.

Speaker 4 (08:39):
Who could swim.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
All the way fucking over there and back and it's
not a thing. And you might be able to do
one of them. I was good at baseball. I was
not good at the other sports.

Speaker 7 (08:49):
I was really good at, you want to know what
I was really good at?

Speaker 2 (08:52):
And Adam, we know who you're talking about. We can
all say it at the same time. You're talking about
Mike McCarver. I guess you're not going to say it.

Speaker 7 (09:01):
I guess you're not going to say it. I was unstoppable.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
You were always like, there's a guy who just, he
could do it all, right? He was a free dude.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
He could dunk a basketball in like seventh or eighth grade.

Speaker 7 (09:12):
It was wild feet.

Speaker 5 (09:13):
Well, he matured. I think he matured early. He got
all the like height and stuff.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
He had hairy calves young.

Speaker 7 (09:19):
But by the way, was.

Speaker 4 (09:20):
Then good at everything.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (09:22):
Was good at everything. When I matured, I wasn't suddenly
good at all the sports. Well, I don't care.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
Adam couldn't dunk until junior year of high school. Wow, dude.

Speaker 5 (09:33):
I bet that I could beat Mike McCoy at steal
the bacon. Nobody could beat me at steal the bacon.
That was where my skills.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Any take back? I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go.
It couldn't beat me at steal the bacon.

Speaker 4 (09:47):
We're talking about natural athletes.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Steal the bacon. I also hate to tell you, steal
the bacon's like, hey, can these kids play baseball or not?
I feel like he's probably pretty good at steal the bacon.

Speaker 5 (09:59):
No. the Bacon is an elite game and you have
to have fast twitch muscles.

Speaker 7 (10:06):
You gotta be able to Think on your feet.

Speaker 5 (10:08):
Like, when you both get to the bacon at the
same time, that is the most intense competition.

Speaker 8 (10:14):
Mike McCoy gets to the bacon, and you're still like, oh,
he got it.

Speaker 7 (10:18):
You haven't found the bacon. You didn't realize where the
bacon was.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
Remember when a kid would just grab the bacon, and
you hadn't even gotten close to getting there? And then
you just are.

Speaker 7 (10:27):
Like, no, I don't remember that. I don't remember that, personally.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
Blake, those were the national athletes. Okay, so fine. You're
good at steal the bacon.

Speaker 7 (10:35):
And prison ball.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
You're not naming spore.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Prison ball?

Speaker 7 (10:39):
Did you say prison ball? Prison ball, yes. What is that?

Speaker 4 (10:43):
Why do you suddenly have a lisp?

Speaker 7 (10:46):
What's happening? I don't have a lisp.

Speaker 4 (10:51):
Prison ball, yes.

Speaker 5 (10:54):
Prison ball, yes.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Prison ball. I'm talking about prison ball. What is prison ball?

Speaker 8 (10:59):
Don't tell me that's like that basketball that has no backboard.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
No.

Speaker 5 (11:02):
Prison ball was kind of like a It's like dodgeball, but, like,
you would put people in prison if you, like, caught
the ball.

Speaker 4 (11:11):
Bombardment?

Speaker 7 (11:12):
I don't know. I haven't played the game in a
long time. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
Hey, guess what?

Speaker 3 (11:16):
I fucking— I.

Speaker 4 (11:17):
Crush Red Rover, Red Rover. We're talking about real sports here.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
We're talking about a true natural athlete, not someone who's like— Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
We're gonna let Adam drop Red Rover, but we're also
talking about— This is bullshit.

Speaker 7 (11:28):
This is bullshit.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
This is bullshit. This is bullshit.

Speaker 5 (11:34):
This segment is brought to you by Slice, the full flavored,
full carbonated soda with good for the gut benefits.

Speaker 7 (11:42):
All right.

Speaker 4 (11:42):
We've got a listener question here.

Speaker 7 (11:45):
Hey, guys.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Lately, I've noticed I've been looking forward to grocery shopping
on Friday nights instead of going out.

Speaker 7 (11:51):
Do you guys ever feel this way?

Speaker 4 (11:53):
Am I getting boring?

Speaker 7 (11:55):
Oh, yeah. No, I've been there.

Speaker 5 (11:56):
Just last week, I spent two hours in the grocery
store shopping. Just comparing carpet cleaner and I think I
might have been in my happy place.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 8 (12:06):
You guys are adulting way too hard. I'm sentencing you
to a slice break right now.

Speaker 4 (12:13):
Wait.

Speaker 7 (12:15):
Wait.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
Slice like the soda from when we were kids?

Speaker 2 (12:19):
That's right, buddy. But it's back and better for you now.

Speaker 7 (12:24):
Oh, hell yeah.

Speaker 8 (12:25):
It's got only five grams of sugar, prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics.

Speaker 7 (12:31):
And it's good for your gut. Oh, I need some
gut help. Jeez.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
And it just tastes like a normal soda?

Speaker 8 (12:42):
No, dude, it is a normal soda, just with benefits.
I'm telling you, man, you just needed a slice break. Slice,
a better soda for fun's sake.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
No, I was saying that if, you know, we could
all name some childhood game that we're good at, but
I'm talking about a real sport.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
I know, but my point is that you named one
just like he's naming, but your point is that we
shouldn't be naming them. Look, I'm really good at beanbag.

Speaker 7 (13:15):
I mean, we could all name one.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Beanbag dodgeball, but.

Speaker 4 (13:20):
Sisters can't even name one. That's embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
I had to think about one.

Speaker 8 (13:23):
You didn't have a childhood game. A second-tier real sport. Anyway,
I was going to say, I do think Blake's an athlete.
I've run with Blake.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
Blake is quick.

Speaker 7 (13:36):
Thank you.

Speaker 8 (13:37):
I think Blake looks great with his shirt off, which
is not.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Necessarily making him an athlete.

Speaker 8 (13:44):
No.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Which is always fun. A lot of times you line up.

Speaker 8 (13:47):
Next to someone, and you're like, God damn, I'm about
to get worked. And then they are so bad, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Then you find out that they just, they don't care
and they're a fuck machine on the side and that's
kind of their main thing. You made him cum.

Speaker 4 (14:00):
See what, Blake never even used his body to be
a fuck machine. That's what sucks.

Speaker 5 (14:04):
I used it to be a musical machine.

Speaker 7 (14:07):
Comedy joke machine. I don't know. A musical machine?

Speaker 4 (14:10):
You can't play any instrument.

Speaker 5 (14:12):
Singing and dancing. Musical theater, my friend. Damn it. Excuse me.
I was Applegate in Damn Yankees in the Clayton Valley
High School production.

Speaker 7 (14:23):
Of damn Yankees.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
You know when they talk about peaking in high school?

Speaker 5 (14:27):
Absolutely.

Speaker 7 (14:28):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (14:28):
I think that happened to you right then.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Hey.

Speaker 7 (14:31):
I'm trying to think of my song.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Take your time.

Speaker 7 (14:35):
Those were the good old days. I see.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
I think, Adam, you have pretty good hand eye. You're
a good ping pong player. You're a big throwing things
across the room into the garbage can guy.

Speaker 5 (14:53):
Right.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
I love doing it.

Speaker 7 (14:55):
I think you're a marksman. You're a marksman.

Speaker 5 (14:58):
I'm obviously a speed burst. My fast twitch reflexes. I'm
very dexteritous. And then Durz's raw power. So that's what
we have.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
I don't know about that. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (15:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (15:15):
I know.

Speaker 4 (15:15):
I'd say Ders is great at swimming.

Speaker 8 (15:17):
I'm a regular Michael Clark Duncan.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
I can swim. I could do a standing backflip back
in the day. I'm like bodily coordinated, if that makes sense.
I don't know if I can catch things.

Speaker 7 (15:28):
I think that makes a lot of sense to me, sexually.

Speaker 4 (15:31):
We'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
There's a catchphrase. There's a catchphrase.

Speaker 7 (15:35):
We're talking catchphrases.

Speaker 5 (15:36):
Okay, well, I think the reason it all started is
because you wanted to get to the root of You
remembered the first time you ever threw the.

Speaker 7 (15:45):
Bird at somebody?

Speaker 3 (15:46):
I remember the first time I was about that young
boy's age. I think I was like maybe eight or so.
And I remember these kids way down the way. They
were a lot older. These kids were like in like
eighth grade or something, seventh, eighth grade. And they did something.
They like kicked our ball or they took it. And
from like a block away, I.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
Was like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 (16:09):
Double birds.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
Double flying birds.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
So the first time you ever did it was double?

Speaker 8 (16:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (16:15):
Give me a hell yeah!

Speaker 2 (16:16):
Yeah, that's huge. That's like getting domed before you kiss.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
And they sprinted down the street and beat my ass.

Speaker 7 (16:26):
I'm kidding. I'm not kidding.

Speaker 4 (16:29):
They physically assaulted me.

Speaker 7 (16:31):
I was eight years old.

Speaker 4 (16:33):
These kids were, had to have been at least five
years older than me.

Speaker 7 (16:36):
Okie dokie.

Speaker 4 (16:37):
They came down and beat the shit out of me.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
We'll be more specific.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
Hit me in the head multiple times, got me on
the ground, kicked me.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Punched you.

Speaker 4 (16:46):
Punched me, kicked me.

Speaker 7 (16:47):
On the ground. Oh, no. They put the boots to you?

Speaker 3 (16:51):
Took my bike, threw it into a tree, the chain
fell off, and then they took my shirt and ripped
it off of me.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
So then I, and it.

Speaker 3 (16:59):
Only had the collar, it was hanging off my body,
and I had to walk my bike home without the chain.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Bro. Bro.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
It was a nightmare, dude.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
Did you leave the collar on? You just left the
collar on? Necklace?

Speaker 3 (17:11):
Yeah, I left the collar on. And it was still
like hanging kind of off me. It looked like a
sad cape. I remember it like pretty... It was the
fucking first time in my life I got my ass kicked.
And it was all from the... Probably the first time
I ever threw up the.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
The birds.

Speaker 4 (17:28):
And that's not the only time I was beaten up.
for throwing the birds.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
So when I see you throw up a bird, especially
a double bird, I'm like, oh shit. I'm surprised fucking
Mark's kid doesn't climb through the screen and put some
hands on you.

Speaker 7 (17:42):
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
And so Blake, you dive into this pool.

Speaker 5 (17:48):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Hands first, streamline.

Speaker 7 (17:51):
Like a pencil.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
A regular dive. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (17:53):
That's what I tried to do.

Speaker 8 (17:54):
And then you just, you go straight into the ground
at the bottom of the pool and your finger goes.

Speaker 5 (17:59):
My middle finger hits first. And as soon as it happened,
I was like, oh fuck, I just broke my finger.
But I haven't gone to the doctor for it because
I've been going for my feet lately. But I might,
I have a physical today, so I might have them
run this through the x-ray too.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
Yeah. Yeah. What's going on with your feet? Sucks being old, dude.
No wonder you can't cut your toes.

Speaker 7 (18:21):
What's going on with your feet? Well, I talked about
it like two weeks ago.

Speaker 5 (18:25):
TII Nation was pretty good. I had people in the DMs,
some like real, I think, doctors or at least people.

Speaker 2 (18:32):
Who do like rehab. You got plantar fasciitis? Is that
what it is?

Speaker 5 (18:34):
No, my x-rays came back. It looks like I have
little tiny heel spurs.

Speaker 7 (18:39):
Bitch feet.

Speaker 8 (18:46):
I told you, my man just shoots them across the
room and they always go in.

Speaker 5 (18:51):
The doctor told me I have little tiny bitch feet.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
I've heard about that.

Speaker 7 (18:57):
Let's just say my days of stealing bacon may be over.
They may be over. I might have stole my last bacon.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
I have a tiny little.

Speaker 7 (19:11):
Heel spurs.

Speaker 2 (19:12):
Heel sperm.

Speaker 7 (19:14):
Heel sperm.

Speaker 5 (19:15):
Someone busted a nut in my heels, and it is
swimming around in there.

Speaker 7 (19:19):
So I don't know.

Speaker 5 (19:21):
I have an appointment with a podiatrist.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Sure.

Speaker 7 (19:24):
And we're going to get to the bottom of this.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
Now, do you go to a doctor in Beverly Hills?
Where do you go?

Speaker 7 (19:30):
I'm like a Burbank kind of guy. I like to
keep it pretty normcore.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, that should work.

Speaker 7 (19:35):
I don't need J-Lo's doctor looking at me. Come on, man.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
You seen her feet?

Speaker 4 (19:41):
Actually, she's got great feet.

Speaker 3 (19:42):
Oh, and she was a dancer, too. You know, a
lot of time you look at those dancers and their
feet are narrow.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 (19:49):
Look at.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
Like.

Speaker 7 (19:50):
Fuckable.

Speaker 4 (19:50):
Freaking LeBron James.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
Tight one. Butthole.

Speaker 3 (19:53):
Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (19:54):
Have you seen LeBron James' toes? Those things are.

Speaker 7 (19:58):
Pull them up.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Let's pull them up. Are they really?

Speaker 7 (20:00):
Are they really bad? Well, they must be.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, you're going back and forth in basketball shoes for
40 years?

Speaker 5 (20:06):
That's what I'm saying. How does everybody not have heel spurs?

Speaker 7 (20:10):
Why am I getting them? This is kind of pissing
me off. You probably run like an idiot. I think
I do.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
Do you run like a— I bet you come down
on your heel, and that is an ouchie.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
I used to do that, and I had to change.

Speaker 7 (20:24):
I know I run on the inside of my feet.
I run on the inside. That'll spur you.

Speaker 5 (20:30):
That'll put the cum right in there. That'll get your
little bitch feet hurting.

Speaker 7 (20:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (20:35):
So, yeah, I don't know, man. I'm trying to figure
it out because I don't want to hang up my
running shoes. That would make me really sad.

Speaker 7 (20:42):
Okay, yes.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
So click on the link in the chat and you
will see LeBron James' feet.

Speaker 4 (20:49):
They're all dancing with each other, dude.

Speaker 7 (20:53):
Whoa! I was not expecting that. His pinky toe is.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
He's got a hammer toe, huh?

Speaker 4 (20:58):
I think that's what all basketball players' toes look like.

Speaker 7 (21:01):
No. That can't be real.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
His pinky toe is trying to get out.

Speaker 7 (21:05):
That can't be real. Dude, that thing is coming out
of the top of his foot.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
Imagine, you're just.

Speaker 7 (21:10):
Dude, there's no... There's no way.

Speaker 5 (21:14):
He basically... All of his toes... Foot rests on his
big toe. Everything else is like retreating.

Speaker 2 (21:20):
Shaq, he's got a hammer toe. Look at this. He
has bunions, hammer toe, and then he's got a little
pinky in the brain happening.

Speaker 7 (21:27):
Whoa, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
I don't know what that is.

Speaker 3 (21:30):
And his like second toe is like the big toe
and then the one right next to it. It looks
like it's like. the skin has worn off the top
of it from like rubbing against his shoe while funky.
This is blowing my mind.

Speaker 7 (21:42):
This poor guy.

Speaker 8 (21:43):
I wonder if any of these guys, a lot of
times like distance runners will just have their toenails surgically
removed for good so that they don't get like gnarly
black toe and like the nails keep falling off and
all that. I wonder if basketball players are doing that
at all.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
Bo just did something very gnarly to me the other day.
I had my feet.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
Bo Jackson. Adam's been hanging on Bo Jackson.

Speaker 5 (22:05):
Bo Jackson.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
My son, Bo Jackson, I, my son, Bo, I had
my feet up on the, on the coffee table and
I was sitting on the couch and I have a,
my toes are disgusting.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
And we've talked about this.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
But, uh, I have a, what do you call it?
Foot fun, not foot fungus, but like the fungus of
the toenails.

Speaker 7 (22:25):
Fucking disaster, my guy.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
And it's for sure gross. And they look disgusting.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
Are they yellow?

Speaker 3 (22:31):
But my leg, I was already hit by a cement truck,
so they look disgusting anyway, so I don't really care.

Speaker 7 (22:35):
Par for the course.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
But it's just, this toenail's just like sort of hanging
in there. And Bo grabbed it and goes, Daddy, what's this?
And then goes, and tried to rip it off as
if it were like a ticket that he was taking.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
Yeah, I see where you're, that's the way you describe it.
I see where you're coming from.

Speaker 7 (22:54):
It worked, dude.

Speaker 4 (22:55):
You got it? It almost ripped off. I was starting
to bleed. It was a whole fucking thing.

Speaker 5 (23:01):
Was that a moment where he hurt you so bad
and the shock went through your body so quickly that
you kind of instantly almost hit him?

Speaker 7 (23:10):
Threw him through a wall? Yeah, like you almost got
physical with him? Sometimes.

Speaker 5 (23:15):
Those things happen where you immediately go into fight mode
instead of flight mode.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
That doesn't happen until they're three.

Speaker 7 (23:20):
No, no, no.

Speaker 4 (23:20):
Tell us more about you abusing your children, Blake.

Speaker 7 (23:24):
No, this isn't me.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
I've done it. If my kid fucking hurts me, I
grab them so fast and... I believe this. I hold
so firm.

Speaker 7 (23:34):
Underwater.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
As I grimace. We're both underwater.

Speaker 5 (23:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
This is common training.

Speaker 7 (23:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
So it's 5 a.m. It's elite. Oh, no. But I've
been like hit in the face. I think I told
you guys. I had to go get surgery where I've
been like hurt and I fucking grab out of... Reflex.
And I just hold and I go, you can't just
do things like that. And, you know, once the blood

(24:04):
clears from their eyes, they see what I'm talking about.

Speaker 4 (24:06):
Right.

Speaker 5 (24:07):
They know.

Speaker 4 (24:07):
That's right.

Speaker 7 (24:08):
I think you know.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
No, I didn't do that. He actually felt very bad
right away. You know, he knew that he shouldn't have
done that. And then he was saying, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
Because he was like, you're being a bitch. You're being
a Blake. He kept saying, I'm being a Blake, dude.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
What?

Speaker 7 (24:27):
That is catching on. That's what your household says?

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yes, being a Blake. There's a whole TikTok account about it.

Speaker 4 (24:34):
But he does know both of your names. He goes,
that's Blake.

Speaker 3 (24:38):
And then he says Ders in the way that Jet
Set would say Ders.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
Ders.

Speaker 7 (24:43):
Ders.

Speaker 4 (24:44):
Do you love it?

Speaker 7 (24:44):
Go Blake and Ders. Keep that. Let it ride.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
And what are the odds that he is Jet Set reincarnated?

Speaker 7 (24:52):
Honestly?

Speaker 2 (24:52):
High.

Speaker 7 (24:53):
Real high. That would be incredible. That would be incredible.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
I mean, a comedy god as a son?

Speaker 7 (25:00):
A born entertainer?

Speaker 4 (25:02):
That's pretty fucking fun.

Speaker 8 (25:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (25:04):
That's pretty fun, dude. Do you let your child watch
Michael Jackson music videos?

Speaker 3 (25:16):
All day long that's the only thing yeah that's the
only thing he does do good we allow.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
Has he watched any my kids watched him hell.

Speaker 5 (25:22):
Young yeah we have a lot of michael jackson i
don't think he's seen i.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Remember putting on thriller real.

Speaker 6 (25:28):
Young remember the time i don't think he's seen any
music videos really how do you even play a music
video on your television vivo Or just YouTube.

Speaker 5 (25:39):
YouTube, yeah. You need to have some music videos running, dude.
That's how kids learn. That's how we learned everything.

Speaker 7 (25:46):
Sure. Those were all my sexual awakenings.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
Mark McGrath taught me almost everything I know about everything.

Speaker 7 (25:53):
Tony Braxton? Come on.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
You should tell me about belly buttons.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Well, yeah, he's two years.

Speaker 7 (25:57):
Old, dude.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
I feel like he's got some time to rest. watch
music videos.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
No, you never know. You keep telling yourself that.

Speaker 7 (26:06):
You never know, man.

Speaker 5 (26:08):
You want to just get these music videos flowing. Put
on corn freak on a leash, dude. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
Is that the one with the anime bullet?

Speaker 7 (26:18):
That was the bullet that kept coming through.

Speaker 5 (26:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Good video.

Speaker 7 (26:21):
The freaking best, dude.

Speaker 6 (26:23):
It's a bagel.

Speaker 4 (26:23):
Dude, tell you what, I don't even like new metal.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
That wasn't my favorite. That was not my favorite type
of music.

Speaker 7 (26:32):
Sure, sure. Awkward.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
Shout out, shout out. Every fan you have just went, what?

Speaker 7 (26:40):
Except for Creed. Creed's not new metal. Creed is not
new metal.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
Well, I was more into like punk and pop punk
and stuff like that when I was a kid.

Speaker 7 (26:49):
Yeah. New Metal got a little dark. It got a little.

Speaker 4 (26:53):
Dark for me.

Speaker 7 (26:54):
Now I'm all New Metal all the way. Yeah, you're
fully New Metal.

Speaker 2 (26:56):
It's science.

Speaker 7 (26:57):
And you with the umlauts. Okay.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
But you put on Korn Radio on Spotify for a workout.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
You do?

Speaker 3 (27:07):
Dude, that'll get you going. All of a sudden, you're
lifting weights that you never even dreamed you could lift, dude.
The fucking people.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
You turn into a freak on a leash.

Speaker 7 (27:17):
Yeah, you do. You're getting corn power.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
So what ends up being played?

Speaker 8 (27:21):
Because I know if I ever put on a radio
station that I like, as in I like the artist,
then you just get some stray dogs in there that
you're like, this is not Beastie Boys.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
This is not.

Speaker 7 (27:32):
Please don't stop the music.

Speaker 8 (27:34):
You'll turn on BC Boys Radio and get Korn, and
I gotta go, what are we doing, Spotify?

Speaker 7 (27:39):
How did we get here?

Speaker 4 (27:40):
And the longer you listen, the weirder it gets.

Speaker 5 (27:43):
The algorithm starts to get a little loopy.

Speaker 3 (27:47):
Or I feel like it just kind of gives up
on what it was doing and then just goes like,
this is the music you actually like.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
What are you doing? What are you doing?

Speaker 7 (27:54):
Here we go. Korn Radio. Korn. Limp Bizkit. Yeah, that's
the one-two punch. Everybody, that's to be expected. That's what
I came for.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
I don't need Spotify to tell me that. Okay.

Speaker 7 (28:04):
Come on.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
And then you're getting Deftones. Then you're getting Drowning Pool.
Then you're getting my boy, Rob Zombie, Dragula.

Speaker 4 (28:11):
That song.

Speaker 5 (28:11):
Water Trash.

Speaker 7 (28:12):
Rit, dude. That one goes. That one goes.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
How's that one go?

Speaker 7 (28:16):
Did I in the one.

Speaker 5 (28:21):
This is trucker rock.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
You're describing what I would think Kyle's walk-up song would
be if he was in the MLB.

Speaker 4 (28:34):
Hey, remember when I said I wasn't that into new metal?

Speaker 3 (28:37):
I guess I take it back because all these fucking songs.

Speaker 7 (28:41):
But I don't know of Rob Zombie's new metal.

Speaker 4 (28:45):
He's in the fucking new metal category.

Speaker 5 (28:47):
I think to be in new metal, you have, well, maybe.
You have to have, like, somebody, like, on the turntable.

Speaker 8 (28:53):
Oh.

Speaker 5 (28:53):
I think you have to have turntables to be new metal.

Speaker 8 (28:56):
Oh.

Speaker 7 (28:57):
To me, that's kind of a.

Speaker 4 (28:59):
Is that right?

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Is that.

Speaker 7 (29:00):
Well, maybe not.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (29:02):
Maybe not.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
I don't know. No, keep going, because this is something
I don't know anything about.

Speaker 7 (29:08):
It was, like, a very specific genre.

Speaker 4 (29:10):
So you never listened to any Linkin Park?

Speaker 2 (29:14):
Absolutely not.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
You never gave.

Speaker 7 (29:19):
And.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
That's not a diss to them.

Speaker 8 (29:22):
It just was so not something I would ever be
interested in.

Speaker 7 (29:28):
You're a fucking disaster, my guy.

Speaker 5 (29:30):
Even when they did Collision Course with Jay-Z, you weren't...
We've covered this.

Speaker 7 (29:36):
Yeah, we have. The use of that song in the minor.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
Vice movie trailer, Ely.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
But imagine you're about to work out, and you put
on your headphones, and you don't have the energy, and
it's a big whatever day, a chess day, and you're like,
I want to try to put up some.

Speaker 4 (29:56):
Numbers today, dog.

Speaker 8 (29:58):
And.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
That song by Drowning Pool.

Speaker 4 (30:03):
Your boobs are huge.

Speaker 7 (30:06):
Come on, that's an all-timer. That's an all-timer.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
Can I tell you something? It doesn't... There's nothing inside
of me that identifies with that.

Speaker 7 (30:15):
Hot, hot, hot, hot. That's insane.

Speaker 4 (30:17):
Well, of course you're not. I mean, you're not a murderer.
You're not. The bodies aren't hitting the floor.

Speaker 5 (30:22):
No, but even just the energy of it. It doesn't
psych you up. That doesn't get you rock hard.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
That wouldn't get you going, dude. I feel like I
would run through a wall for that song.

Speaker 5 (30:32):
Well, Adam, I think you truly should have joined the
military in that case.

Speaker 7 (30:36):
Because these are like, these are like, hoorah.

Speaker 5 (30:39):
These are like power songs for the army.

Speaker 3 (30:42):
I'm a Midwestern boy who graduated high school in the
early 2000s. I feel like I'm very hoorah.

Speaker 7 (30:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
When hoorah was okay.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
And I probably would have joined the military probably 2000.

Speaker 4 (30:55):
I graduated in the early 2000s.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
2000, the attacks just happened.

Speaker 7 (31:00):
Oh, damn.

Speaker 4 (31:00):
But then I was hit by the cement truck, dude.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
And they said, if you weren't hit by the cement truck,
you're one of the most gifted natural athletes we've ever seen.

Speaker 7 (31:07):
Donkey!

Speaker 2 (31:08):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (31:08):
They might have said that.

Speaker 7 (31:09):
I didn't go in, but they might.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
Have said that. Instead, he's just throwing trash across the
room from a wheelchair. So he's a solid guy.

Speaker 8 (31:16):
No.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
Do you really.

Speaker 7 (31:17):
Do you.

Speaker 5 (31:19):
Did you foresee yourself joining the armed forces at all?
Was that ever a consideration? Did you ever have some
sort of a.

Speaker 8 (31:27):
It was for me when I was six, for sure.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Okay.

Speaker 7 (31:30):
Yeah, when I was G.I.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Joe.

Speaker 7 (31:31):
Yeah, I used to love G.I. Joe. Come on.

Speaker 4 (31:33):
No, no, not really. I mean, but also, like, who knows.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
what kind of person I would have become if I
hadn't been hit by the cement truck.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Right.

Speaker 4 (31:41):
The cement truck led me into the arts.

Speaker 7 (31:43):
Well, of course.

Speaker 4 (31:44):
Because I couldn't physically do anything else.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
We could be on a podcast with Adam Rittenhouse.

Speaker 7 (31:53):
That's not good.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
We don't know.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
We don't know. Well, I butterfly effect. You change one thing.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
American icon.

Speaker 5 (32:02):
Cause isn't that, isn't that kind of a thing? Like
in the Midwest, you get, you guys get recruited pretty hard, right?
I feel like out in California, they, they weren't coming
by the, the damn Yankees musical and trying to recruit me.

Speaker 4 (32:15):
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
You're from a suburb of the, in the Bay area.

Speaker 8 (32:19):
And I don't think that it's, it's hitting too hard
out there, but in the Midwest out in the country
is generations of people who were in the military.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
And so it's a little more normalized. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (32:29):
I have a lot of family in the military.

Speaker 5 (32:30):
That was never something that you, you felt you even
wanted to consider.

Speaker 4 (32:35):
Well, I couldn't, Blake. And I think I've said this
multiple times now.

Speaker 7 (32:39):
I'm just trying to make you cry.

Speaker 4 (32:40):
I was hit by a goddamn cement drum.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
Right.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
Or else, and I don't know.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
That was his 9-11.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
Because it changed the chemistry of my brain.

Speaker 7 (32:49):
I'm pissed now.

Speaker 3 (32:50):
I went down a different road to be this artist
you see before you today.

Speaker 5 (32:54):
Yes, yes.

Speaker 7 (32:55):
And you're doing a heck of a job, man.

Speaker 5 (32:57):
Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 4 (32:57):
Or I could have been fucking G.I.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Joe.

Speaker 7 (32:59):
Which would have been sick. The ultimate soldier, dude.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
Do you think I would have killed Bin Laden?

Speaker 7 (33:05):
I think you could have made it to SEAL Team.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
Do you think maybe I was at SEAL Team 6?

Speaker 5 (33:10):
I feel like you would have been like a G.I.
Joe and you would have got grenades that were like
the shape of football. You would have changed the game.

Speaker 7 (33:17):
Grenades. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Explosive nerf vortex.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
I would say out of the three of us, I'm
probably the most likely to get recruited into the military.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
You also have army body. I love you guys. You've
got army body.

Speaker 3 (33:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Where like you can fit on a submarine.

Speaker 7 (33:36):
I think that's Navy body, isn't it? What?

Speaker 2 (33:39):
Whatever.

Speaker 8 (33:40):
Fucking military body. You got to be able to fit
inside of like a tank.

Speaker 7 (33:43):
You're saying he's like, yeah.

Speaker 4 (33:45):
I think the military takes all.

Speaker 7 (33:47):
All body types?

Speaker 4 (33:48):
I don't know about shapes, but all sizes.

Speaker 7 (33:50):
Like you're saying height? Yeah, heights.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, there's certain heights where it's not an advantage. You're like,
all right, I got to sit in this fucking tank,
and I'm 6'3, and this other dude next to me
is 5'10.

Speaker 5 (33:58):
Ooh, I never thought of that. I think you get
too— you' re too tall for the ride.

Speaker 7 (34:04):
You're like, this guy's too big to be a tank dude.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
That's how I described it when they tried to recruit me.
I go, I'm too tall for the ride. Sorry, guys.
I'm going to go to college and swim.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
I feel like I met a lot when I did
the USO tour— We went to Iraq and Afghanistan over Christmas.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
I felt like I met a lot.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
Of very tall, very strapping men that were bigger than Ders,
that were.

Speaker 7 (34:28):
In the military.

Speaker 4 (34:29):
And I feel like you could have joined if and
when you wanted to. But here we are.

Speaker 5 (34:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (34:34):
I wish you didn't say you felt like you met.
I wish you said that you just, that you did meet.

Speaker 7 (34:39):
Well, I can't. Yes, I did meet. I did meet. Okay,
let's go. I did meet.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Who knows? Before it was just a feeling. Now it's
a fact. It's funny how that works.

Speaker 5 (34:47):
Was that ever something you explored? Did you ever think
of maybe- That's all your honor. Did you ever think
of serving your country?

Speaker 3 (34:53):
No.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
At my high school, it was either people who took
advantage of the things that the military can provide for
you as far as like, you know, getting out of
where you are, paying towards education, all that. Or it
was the absolute craziest people that I knew.

Speaker 5 (35:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Who were like, murder? But we can do it?

Speaker 7 (35:14):
Let's go.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
Let's go.

Speaker 7 (35:16):
Yeah, cool.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
And then they were like mercenaries after the military and
all that.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
Kind of stuff. Oh, so they actually were really successful
in their field.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 (35:26):
They really saw some shit.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Yeah. Damn.

Speaker 8 (35:28):
It came back from like, his first tour or whatever.
And I'm like, dude, like, what the fuck is it
like out there? He goes, check this out.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
I'm like, what? And he goes, you use one of
these things? I'm like, what am I looking at? He's like,
it's a fucking cock ring, bro. And I was like.

Speaker 7 (35:42):
You got it, dude.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
What am I holding?

Speaker 7 (35:45):
I thought you were going to say, like, a weapon.

Speaker 4 (35:47):
What am I holding?

Speaker 8 (35:47):
I was like, is that like a fucking, as Blake
would say, grenade pen? Like, what are we looking at here?
That was his big, like, I'm home. I'm going to
tell you guys what it's like out there.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
Wait.

Speaker 8 (35:59):
This dude's on international waters, throwing on a cock ring
and just blowing bags out.

Speaker 3 (36:05):
Oh my God. So is he fucking, I mean, is
he fucking dudes?

Speaker 7 (36:09):
Do you love him?

Speaker 2 (36:10):
No, not fucking dudes. No, no, no.

Speaker 7 (36:12):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (36:13):
Well, he's, he's, he's fucking service women.

Speaker 7 (36:16):
Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
Um, or he's fucking, he's a land ho.

Speaker 7 (36:21):
You're saying he's going.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
He's hitting land and he's a hoe.

Speaker 7 (36:24):
Oh, like he's going to like a classic. Dude, that's
the perks of the job right there.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
I just remember being like, all right.

Speaker 5 (36:31):
So he got a grenade pin in the head of
his cock and he started hitting the ports hard.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
I guess so.

Speaker 7 (36:38):
And he came back and reported to you that life
was good.

Speaker 8 (36:41):
And so now we're all like, we've just gone into
the military. You get a free cock ring.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
There's something fun about it. About just you and your
boys doing a mission.

Speaker 7 (36:52):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (36:52):
By the way, hey, most of the time, I would
say 98% of the time, you're just fucking working out,
kicking at the mess hall.

Speaker 7 (37:00):
Sure.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
You know, fucking chopping it up.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (37:02):
And then you're called into some shit. And then they go, hey,
good job, boys.

Speaker 7 (37:08):
Go into port.

Speaker 4 (37:09):
And then you get thrown on the cock ring.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
All righty.

Speaker 7 (37:13):
That doesn't sound like the worst. You're like, gentlemen. Hang on.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Sign me up. Gentlemen.

Speaker 7 (37:19):
Grab your weapon. Here we go.

Speaker 4 (37:21):
See, this is what I feel the recruiters should have been.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
Good morning, Vietnam. Couldn't get me out of the bunker.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
Yeah, I think this is what the recruiters, that's what
they should tell you. That's the pamphlet that I should
have been handed.

Speaker 8 (37:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
They just throw the clink, clink, clink on the table.
You're like, what is that? They're like, join and I'll
teach you. Come on.

Speaker 7 (37:39):
So clink, clink, clink.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
Why did I imagine a cock ring was a plastic thing?

Speaker 2 (37:43):
This is metal.

Speaker 4 (37:43):
Doesn't it have to stretch over your dick and balls?

Speaker 7 (37:46):
No, they're like barbells, dude. What? Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
This is a metal ring. This is not a barbell.
A barbell is literally the opposite.

Speaker 5 (37:54):
Straight.

Speaker 7 (37:54):
Okay, yeah, I'm sorry. It's like a metal ring that
has like a ball at the end of it though, right?

Speaker 2 (38:00):
No, you're thinking of a Prince Andrew? The piercing that
goes like.

Speaker 7 (38:03):
In the head of the dick? No, it's not a
Prince Andrew. It's a Prince Albert.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Prince Albert.

Speaker 8 (38:08):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (38:09):
Prince Andrew is the.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
Has a child on the end of his day.

Speaker 7 (38:17):
Right, right.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
Rapist?

Speaker 3 (38:19):
Yeah!

Speaker 2 (38:20):
Oopsie! Allegedly, we don't know.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
You lose!

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Prince Andrew has a Prince Albert, we're guessing.

Speaker 7 (38:26):
Oh, for sure.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
No, a cock ring is a steel ring or maybe
a different... Textile, 3D print. I got a 3D printer.
Maybe I got.

Speaker 7 (38:35):
So how do you.

Speaker 4 (38:36):
How do you.

Speaker 7 (38:37):
This is important.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
Some this is important cock rings at the next tour?

Speaker 8 (38:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (38:41):
How do you 3D print....

Speaker 3 (38:43):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Hey, Anders, can I use your phone to search for something? Fucking...
Why are you searching 3D printer cock rings?

Speaker 3 (38:51):
That's actually a really funny bit is always borrowing your
buddy's phone and then searching up the craziest shit.

Speaker 7 (38:56):
And it just fucks up his algorithm.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
Just leaving it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (38:58):
His algorithm's like so fucked up because you looked at
his phone for.

Speaker 8 (39:02):
for 10 minutes i'm pissed now and adam i appreciate
what you're doing which is laying the land.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
For when you search for something yeah my friend did
that oh no we were joking about how friends do
this it was a bit dude you heard it oh
that is funny that is funny what friend.

Speaker 5 (39:18):
Did it dude the one with i don't want to
embarrass him the one that you don't like the one
that you don't like the one you just don't like
at all the one that you just don't like he
always doing that. Dude, how many of your friends do
your partner not like?

Speaker 4 (39:35):
I feel like my... I feel like Chloe likes 98%. Uh-oh.

Speaker 3 (39:39):
There's a few outliers.

Speaker 7 (39:42):
Uh-oh.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
Interesting.

Speaker 7 (39:44):
Who's that 2%?

Speaker 5 (39:45):
Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
I'm trying to think. I don't think she has one
that she doesn't like.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
Maybe the guy, the mercenary who came back from war.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
She knows who he is. She doesn't really know him though.

Speaker 7 (40:03):
She knows of him. He's a legend.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
I'm sorry and I hate to go back to this
cock ring because this is blowing my mind because I
always thought a cock ring was like a plastic thing
that you put your dick in like It goes.

Speaker 4 (40:17):
Over your ball, under your balls, and your dick through it.
And it keeps you hard. Isn't that what it's for?

Speaker 2 (40:24):
No.

Speaker 5 (40:24):
Yes.

Speaker 7 (40:25):
That's something else.

Speaker 5 (40:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
It cuts off your.

Speaker 8 (40:27):
No, you put it on before you've got a hard-on,
and then you get a hard-on, and then it, like,
constricts the blood in it.

Speaker 7 (40:34):
So, wait. I thought a cock ring was a piercing.
It's not.

Speaker 5 (40:38):
You're saying a cock ring is indeed a thing that
you slide onto what Adam was explaining.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Todd... We're not getting any pictures in the chat for
some reason. Can we see LeBron's foot with a cock ring? Yeah.

Speaker 3 (40:54):
Okay, so there's a lot of different things here that
are cock rings.

Speaker 7 (40:58):
Let's go ahead and shift into overdrive.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
By the way, I guess I never knew what this was.
This is a hole to do, if you will.

Speaker 7 (41:06):
This is a hole to do.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
This is a hole.

Speaker 7 (41:08):
Hello.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Triple metal.

Speaker 7 (41:09):
I'm going to come. They sell them at Target now?

Speaker 2 (41:12):
What?

Speaker 3 (41:13):
It says falling asleep or using illicit drugs at the
same time as using a cock ring is very dangerous.

Speaker 8 (41:22):
What?

Speaker 4 (41:22):
Which I would imagine.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
I would imagine.

Speaker 7 (41:25):
I don't know. That's the only way I do it.
I use it to go to sleep.

Speaker 8 (41:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (41:29):
It's a sleeping device.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
The first sign of penning problems is when the penis
starts to become numb, painful, or cold.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
That's when you know it's working.

Speaker 7 (41:37):
Imagine that.

Speaker 3 (41:38):
Imagine you put a thing on your dick and your
dick just gets... Suddenly your dick's freezing.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
Let's put that thing on ice.

Speaker 5 (41:43):
Dude.

Speaker 7 (41:44):
I kind of... I mean, that's kind of kinky. It's
like corpse cock. Dude, you know there's some... All right.
Any tape backs, apologies.

Speaker 3 (41:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (41:52):
Kumbaya. Any.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
And women out there.

Speaker 8 (41:55):
We know there's droves of you who are into the
corpse cock.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Slide into Blake's DMs and let him know.

Speaker 7 (42:01):
Oh, for sure, bro. Oh, come on. There's some goth
baddies who are super.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Down for that. There are zero. I don't think there
are any.

Speaker 7 (42:10):
Durs, you're crazy.

Speaker 5 (42:12):
You think that there's not women who fantasize about having
sex with like cold vampiric men?

Speaker 7 (42:18):
A corpse? A corpse?

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Yeah, like zombies.

Speaker 7 (42:20):
I bet there are under 50. In the world.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
People?

Speaker 7 (42:26):
People.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
No.

Speaker 7 (42:27):
No, absolutely not. You're underestimating how weird people are.

Speaker 4 (42:31):
You think that would actually do it? Not just like
a weird fantasy.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 (42:36):
I'm talking about the actual.

Speaker 7 (42:37):
Oh, no, you're saying.

Speaker 5 (42:38):
No, I'm saying they're finding a way to hack the system. Like, oh, hey,
you know, I like part of me has there's an
allure to having sex with a living dead man.

Speaker 7 (42:48):
Will you put a cock ring on until your dick
gets cold?

Speaker 2 (42:50):
That's different. Because living means warm.

Speaker 8 (42:53):
So I'm sure that there's chicks out there who want to, like,
sleep with somebody pretending to be asleep.

Speaker 7 (42:58):
Sorry, a reanimated corpse.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
That's just cosplay. That's just, like, the corpse bride. Fucking, like,
with just the, like, stitching painted on their face or whatever. Sure, sure.
We're talking about a cold dick. Nobody wants a cold dick.

Speaker 7 (43:13):
No one wants a cold dick. I disagree. I think
that there's probably a large sect of.

Speaker 4 (43:19):
See, you say a large sect... But I think that
number is.

Speaker 7 (43:22):
Well, more than 50 people on the earth.

Speaker 4 (43:24):
Okay, I was talking about that actually would fuck a
dead body.

Speaker 7 (43:27):
That's not what I'm talking about.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
And those people are... They are crazy. So maybe the
number's higher.

Speaker 7 (43:31):
Yes, that's insane. I think there's... Yes, there's a lot of...
There's a lot of red tape there.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
But what's crazy is that I'm like... Those women are
like the most insane.

Speaker 7 (43:42):
We know chicks.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
And then I do think... We know chicks. There's way
more guys....

Speaker 7 (43:48):
Oh, way more guys.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
The number for like women would be like, there's 50
crazy women out there.

Speaker 4 (43:53):
And then the number for guys is like 12 million.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
What's wrong with me is that I go, those guys
are crazy, but they're not as crazy as I think.

Speaker 7 (44:02):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (44:03):
Really?

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Because I think guys are so desperate and women are
less desperate. so to Adam's point there are fewer women
who would be into this which makes them on the
bell curve of crazy further down the bell crazy than
on that bell curve.

Speaker 5 (44:23):
Of guys the bell end I think it's further I
see what you guys are saying too I'm saying I'm
not talking about actual like corpses I'm not talking about
necrophilia I'm talking about people who are like Finding ways
to kind of.

Speaker 7 (44:39):
To cosplay.

Speaker 3 (44:41):
To use the cock ring to keep it on until
your dick is cold.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
Cold. Yes.

Speaker 4 (44:47):
That's when they say, take it off. We've got problems.

Speaker 7 (44:51):
But maybe this goth baddie's like, I want a cold one.
Give me a cold one.

Speaker 8 (44:56):
And by the way, it's not a goth baddie. It
is a deranged, sad woman.

Speaker 7 (45:03):
Whoa.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
Pulls her hair out constantly. And maybe can't have scissors
because she's constantly cutting her nipples off.

Speaker 7 (45:11):
Yeah. 69, dudes!

Speaker 2 (45:14):
And is in no way part of society.

Speaker 8 (45:17):
And often has to be taken to the hospital to
retrieve things from inside of her.

Speaker 7 (45:22):
Nipples.

Speaker 2 (45:23):
Well, the nipples are gone.

Speaker 7 (45:25):
Yeah, they're gone.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
She cut them off. She ate those, okay? She fed
those to her cat.

Speaker 7 (45:29):
This is like Harley Quinn. You're talking like Harley Quinn style.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
I'm talking about gnarly, gnarly Quinn.

Speaker 7 (45:35):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:36):
Well, if you, when you break it down like that,
that doesn't sound like much.

Speaker 7 (45:39):
Of a baddie to me.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Exactly.

Speaker 7 (45:42):
Yeah, when you break it down like that. It's not
a goth baddie.

Speaker 5 (45:46):
What if she's like drop dead gorgeous? emphasis on the dead.

Speaker 7 (45:50):
Yeah. See, that's where I knew you were going with it.
Let me tell you this.

Speaker 8 (45:54):
I think the furthest that goth baddies go is like
those tentacles.

Speaker 4 (46:00):
Tentacles?

Speaker 2 (46:01):
Yeah, like the tentacle dildo stuff. They're doing that.

Speaker 7 (46:04):
Oh, yeah. Those are wild.

Speaker 4 (46:06):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
And even that is further on the bell curve than tentacles.

Speaker 7 (46:11):
Yeah, there are some sex toys.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
And how did you know exactly what he was talking about, Blake?

Speaker 7 (46:16):
The way you answered that.

Speaker 5 (46:19):
Because it was literally somebody was asking to be like
a sponsor of our podcast.

Speaker 7 (46:23):
We clicked the link once. We looked at the stuff
they were selling.

Speaker 8 (46:26):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 (46:27):
And they had like these super interesting.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
I don't remember this. And we never got sent anything.

Speaker 7 (46:31):
No.

Speaker 5 (46:32):
Because I thought it would be really cool to have
back here with my load burst or boost.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
And do you know why they like a tentacles?

Speaker 7 (46:40):
Why is that?

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Because. 10 tickles and 11 hurts. Okay.

Speaker 7 (46:44):
Yes, points! I'll take it. Here's your sign. So wait. So, so, so, so.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
Dude, I hate to be this guy that does it.
Because I feel like I know about a lot of
this stuff.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
Obviously. And dude, way to go.

Speaker 7 (46:57):
You demand... You the man. No, thanks, dude.

Speaker 4 (47:00):
And some of it you wish I didn't know about.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
Adam's just saying he clicks on the things that popped
up in Pornado's back in the day. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 (47:08):
I'm always clicking.

Speaker 4 (47:09):
I'm always clicking.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
Well, I've had multiple computers just be like, we're good.

Speaker 7 (47:14):
We're done here.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
You had them.

Speaker 7 (47:15):
We give up.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
Cough.

Speaker 7 (47:17):
I mean, I did. I told you guys.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
About the LimeWire that I got. It was downloaded.

Speaker 4 (47:24):
Probably my girl Heather.

Speaker 7 (47:26):
I heart.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
Deep Throat, those videos back in the day, and literally
my computer comes up, and it was a skull and crossbones.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
And it goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then it, like,
Satan fizzles away.

Speaker 7 (47:39):
Yeah. You got busted.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
So, yeah, I stay clicking on things.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
So, you've been out in the field.

Speaker 7 (47:51):
Go ahead.

Speaker 3 (47:52):
So, what is this dildo that it looks like a...
octopus it's in the chat it's in the chat oh
here we go there are some there are some sex
toys okay.

Speaker 8 (48:05):
It's exactly what you think it is adam and it's
nar it's nar but this is what goth bad this is.

Speaker 5 (48:10):
A cthulhu this is advertising cthulhu is in the background what.

Speaker 8 (48:15):
Is cthulhu so now we got to compete with octopuses.

Speaker 5 (48:18):
It's like the it's like the uh hp lovecraft like
octopus monster Okay.

Speaker 4 (48:25):
A lot of those words didn't make sense to me.

Speaker 8 (48:26):
On one side, it has an elephant hoof or elephant
foot on one end.

Speaker 7 (48:31):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
This is cool.

Speaker 5 (48:32):
This one, like, go to the last one. This you, like,
put on. This isn't just a standalone toy.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
No, I don't. No, I don't.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
This tentacle is over 22 inches long.

Speaker 4 (48:43):
Get the fuck out of here, dude.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Oh, my God!

Speaker 4 (48:46):
People are so weird.

Speaker 2 (48:48):
It's 20% off.

Speaker 7 (48:50):
Okay, let's go. Yeah, they're not flying out the door.
They are not flying out the door.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Scroll down. Blake, there's one for you. You see this
alien with, like, the dick is the nose, and then
there's eyes?

Speaker 3 (49:02):
Oh, yeah, there it is.

Speaker 7 (49:03):
It looks like Greedo from Star Wars. Yeah, that is cool.
Journey to this.

Speaker 4 (49:09):
Now, this isn't for the.

Speaker 7 (49:11):
Women, right?

Speaker 3 (49:12):
No.

Speaker 7 (49:13):
This isn't for the women. This is for, like.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
the- It's for a couple goth baddies.

Speaker 7 (49:17):
The weirdo boyfriend who's just like, actually, I always wanted- Yes.

Speaker 4 (49:23):
I always wanted like my girl to fuck an octopus.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Oh, now that you mention it. And girls are so
nice to us about this that they're like- God bless them.

Speaker 4 (49:32):
I guess so.

Speaker 7 (49:33):
Yeah. God bless them.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 (49:35):
God bless him.

Speaker 7 (49:36):
For real.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
You know, some Gandalf dude is like, please, please. I
can't return it. It was $ 190.

Speaker 7 (49:42):
I spent everything. Okay.

Speaker 4 (49:44):
I spent everything on this.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
But like, I'm going back to dentistry school. This is crazy.

Speaker 7 (49:50):
Okay. All right. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (49:51):
I'll help.

Speaker 7 (49:51):
I'll help.

Speaker 5 (49:52):
Do you love him?

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Do you love him?

Speaker 7 (49:53):
Help me become a nurse, right? Yeah, this is a bummer.

Speaker 5 (49:55):
If you finally feel comfortable enough, because you guys are
kind of shaming it right now. But if you finally
get to a place where you're comfortable enough with your
partner that you kind of say like, hey, click this link.
Click this link in my bio.

Speaker 7 (50:14):
Hashtag Blake's baddies. And you get 20% off.

Speaker 5 (50:20):
What are you thinking about this tentacle stuff? And then
you're saying she's out the door.

Speaker 8 (50:27):
No, no.

Speaker 4 (50:28):
I think we were saying that girls are so nice
to us.

Speaker 8 (50:30):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (50:31):
That they would go, I don't want to put this tentacle,
this 22-inch tentacle in my body.

Speaker 7 (50:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:40):
But this guy's really nice to me.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
He holds the door.

Speaker 7 (50:44):
He's a great guy.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
He's a great guy.

Speaker 7 (50:47):
He's a natural athlete. He's so good at steel. He's
so good.

Speaker 5 (50:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
He danced with my grandma at the wedding.

Speaker 8 (50:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
He's just like a nice guy. He's into these weird things.
And the guy sounds like this, and he was really
good at steal the bacon when he was younger.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
Shut up, bitch!

Speaker 7 (51:04):
He's got bitch feet. He's got heel spurs. I feel
terrible for him. I feel terrible for the guy.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
What do I do?

Speaker 7 (51:11):
I like that Blake put this on himself.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
We weren't even putting this on. He's getting ahead of it.

Speaker 7 (51:17):
We were making him a make-believe guy. And he was like, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
Well, I only hopped on the bandwagon of pretending it
was you after you had led me down the road.

Speaker 7 (51:30):
Well, I'm just trying to identify here, man. I'm just
sticking up for the little guy. That's all.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
So God bless women who are willing to do things
like that for their man.

Speaker 7 (51:43):
Yeah, God bless them.

Speaker 4 (51:44):
And I hope it's not, you hope.

Speaker 5 (51:45):
It's... The least we could do, the least we could
do is make our cocks cold for him if they ask.

Speaker 7 (51:50):
That's the least we can do.

Speaker 4 (51:52):
That's the least we can do.

Speaker 7 (51:53):
Okay. I mean, you are absolutely right, buddy.

Speaker 2 (51:55):
Thank you.

Speaker 7 (51:55):
That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
Is it real? I remember a kid in high school
that was a year older, and I was his senior
in high school, and he had just graduated, but we
were still working telemarketing together, and we sat next to
each other in our cubicles, and he was telling me
about all the fucking he's doing now that he's out
of school, and he has an apartment, and he's doing

(52:18):
so much fucking.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
I'm like, how big are the Jankos?

Speaker 4 (52:22):
Actually, he had Jankos.

Speaker 7 (52:24):
Oh, he's new metal as fuck.

Speaker 4 (52:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 (52:27):
He's new metal as fuck.

Speaker 5 (52:29):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Stop.

Speaker 5 (52:30):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
But then he told me he got a Prince Albert.
And I did not know what that meant.

Speaker 4 (52:35):
And I'm like, for sure. For sure, dude.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
And then you find out the commitment to get a
Prince Albert is so... Because then for the rest of
your life, even if you take.

Speaker 4 (52:45):
That Prince Albert out.

Speaker 7 (52:46):
It doesn't heal. It doesn't steal.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
You're going to have like weird... holes or like scar
tissue on each side. It's not going to heal perfectly.
It's like anything else. You're going to have to explain
what's up with your cock.

Speaker 7 (53:00):
For the rest of your life.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
And I see where you're coming from, Adam.

Speaker 7 (53:04):
Sure, he's coming, all right.

Speaker 8 (53:05):
In that you are like, man, I'm going to have
to explain this to the normal women I deal with.
I have a feeling this guy's not going to have
to explain anything to anybody.

Speaker 7 (53:15):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
They're like, oh, you took it out?

Speaker 8 (53:18):
No.

Speaker 7 (53:19):
Somebody for everybody.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
Do you still have it?

Speaker 8 (53:22):
No.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
You know what I mean? Oh, no.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
And they're like, actually, I have a weird request.

Speaker 7 (53:29):
Are you into octopus?

Speaker 2 (53:30):
Your dick is so big, it's just too warm.

Speaker 4 (53:33):
Can we cool it off?

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Can we put this on ice with a military-sized cock ring?

Speaker 7 (53:43):
Absolutely. Hoorah.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
Hoorah.

Speaker 7 (53:47):
By the way, dude.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
Fucking graphic photo when you click on this link and
it's on wikipedia get real so prince albert i'm good
it goes through the i didn't realize it goes through
the head of the penis yeah i thought it went
sideways yeah i guess i still didn't even know.

Speaker 5 (54:04):
No it kind of like goes through like the tip
like through the hole a little bit.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
There's a couple different versions though so when.

Speaker 4 (54:10):
You piss it just hoses out it's.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
Like on on the bottom of your urethra correct what
is the Where is that? And then there's other ones
that are the barbell that go through the top of
the head. Wow.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
This one that I just looked at, it goes down
through the head and connects like this.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Yeah, at the urethra, though.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
Is the urethra the penis hole opening?

Speaker 2 (54:31):
Here, dude.

Speaker 5 (54:33):
No.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
No, no, no.

Speaker 7 (54:35):
We're on Netflix. We're on Netflix. We can't do that.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
Yes, the penis hole opening.

Speaker 7 (54:38):
Yes, the hole of the penis. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
So wouldn't, it would be like a fire hose or
like just a regular hose when you're hosing a garden
hose when you press.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
Yeah, you're trying to go pee and it's just fucking me, myself,
and Irene style.

Speaker 4 (54:49):
Yeah, just hosing everywhere, dude.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Anybody?

Speaker 7 (54:52):
Nobody. No, I know what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 7 (54:55):
I get it.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
God. Remember when movies were funny?

Speaker 5 (54:57):
I do.

Speaker 7 (54:58):
I love it.

Speaker 4 (54:59):
I heard some guy at the pool the other day.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
He was, I think they were talking about Marcelo Hernandez
and they were complimenting him. And because they were going,
they were younger. They were like probably like 21, 22.
And they're going, man, was that that dude? He he
was on SNL, man.

Speaker 4 (55:18):
He was hilarious. And the other guy's like, yeah, SNL, man.

Speaker 6 (55:23):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
And then they're all going, yeah, man, SNL. And then
one guy goes, yo, you remember comedies?

Speaker 1 (55:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (55:32):
Wow, dude! And I was like, yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
They literally said, do you remember comedies? As if they
don't exist anymore because they don't.

Speaker 8 (55:41):
Although I did drop my car off to get something
updated the other day. And a young dude, probably in
his 20s, was like, you were in Game Over?

Speaker 2 (55:51):
And I go, yep. And he goes, dude, I watched
that movie like 10 times.

Speaker 7 (55:56):
And I was like, hell yeah, brother.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
Young guy.

Speaker 4 (55:59):
Netflix gets the young bucks.

Speaker 5 (56:01):
Hey, do you think if Netflix starts to do theaters,
do you think they'll re-release movies that never got to
come out in theaters and maybe we'll have a little
Game Over Man run in theaters?

Speaker 8 (56:12):
You don't know how business works, do you?

Speaker 7 (56:14):
No, I don't think that that's going to happen.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
They want people watching Netflix at home.

Speaker 5 (56:20):
No, they're starting to talk about doing theater releases.

Speaker 8 (56:24):
They say that so that everyone else is quaking in
their boots because they know, like, oh, fuck, And then
there's some movies that they do release because they want
them to be eligible for award seasons and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (56:35):
Or the director is so powerful that they force their hand.

Speaker 3 (56:39):
Like I think Greta Gerwig is doing a Chronicles of
Narnia movie.

Speaker 7 (56:44):
Right.

Speaker 4 (56:44):
For Netflix that she's making them release in theaters.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
That's interesting.

Speaker 7 (56:49):
So you're saying we don't.

Speaker 4 (56:50):
Yeah, we don't. We don't have that juice.

Speaker 8 (56:53):
I want to be on board with believing that story.
That seems like bullshit, though.

Speaker 4 (56:57):
Yeah, that's just what I've heard.

Speaker 7 (56:58):
No, I think now, because movie theaters are really.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
I understand.

Speaker 8 (57:03):
That sounds very good as, like, a PR thing to
be like, this is how powerful Greta Gerwig is.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
And it's not that she doesn't have, like, the juice
right now.

Speaker 8 (57:12):
But I'm also like, fucking Brad Pitt and George Clooney
had a movie that was supposed to be in theaters,
and then Apple was like, nope. And then Ben Affleck
and Matt Damon had their movie and they wanted it
in theaters and Netflix was like, nope.

Speaker 4 (57:25):
Yeah, we'll see.

Speaker 7 (57:26):
When was that? We'll see.

Speaker 4 (57:27):
I think that.

Speaker 7 (57:27):
Movie will come out this Christmas.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
The Rip or whatever?

Speaker 5 (57:31):
Because I think it might be just because of the
times because the theaters are kind of really cracking right
now and movies are really doing well in theaters.

Speaker 7 (57:40):
So maybe they're just.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
Gonna release them?

Speaker 4 (57:43):
We took Bo to Paw Patrol 3 Dynamo.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
How was it?

Speaker 7 (57:47):
Yeah, I gotta know. It's fun.

Speaker 4 (57:49):
It's a lot of action.

Speaker 7 (57:51):
It's pretty.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Have you seen the other ones?

Speaker 4 (57:53):
I saw the first one.

Speaker 7 (57:54):
I haven't seen the second one.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
The one with Taraz was a banger.

Speaker 7 (57:58):
What's that one?

Speaker 2 (57:59):
I think that's the second one.

Speaker 3 (58:00):
I haven't seen the second one. I've only seen the
first one. I think this is the third one. But yeah,
it was awesome. And Bo, when I got him up
this morning, he was like, Dad, remember when.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
We went to the movies?

Speaker 3 (58:11):
And I'm like, yeah, dude, I remember that shit. It's
crazy when they remember things. You're like, you're a real human.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
You take a knee and you say, movies are dying, son.
Movies are dying.

Speaker 5 (58:22):
Did you, like, really build it up? Like, did you
guys get a bunch of snacks? Did we get Icy's?

Speaker 7 (58:27):
Oh, yeah, man.

Speaker 4 (58:28):
Well, we didn't get Icy's, but we gave him some popcorn.
Even though they're like, popcorn will kill children.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (58:35):
That's like everyone won't shut up about how popcorn will
kill the kids.

Speaker 7 (58:39):
Say it.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
I haven't heard that. How is that? I haven't heard
that either. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
It's like the number one choking hazard because their windpipes
are too small or whatever.

Speaker 4 (58:47):
But I was like.

Speaker 7 (58:48):
For the seeds? You know. I don't. I never heard that.

Speaker 4 (58:51):
I'm right here.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
I think you'll be all right.

Speaker 7 (58:53):
He's not running around.

Speaker 4 (58:54):
He's just watching the dino movie.

Speaker 7 (58:56):
He's fine.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
God. Somebody clip that just in case.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:00):
Just in case.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
Yeah. God forbid. Stop even thinking about it, but just
somebody playing the clip. Yeah, it's not going to happen.

Speaker 7 (59:07):
I hadn't heard that popcorn was a hazard. i didn't
i haven't yeah i feel like.

Speaker 4 (59:11):
You didn't read a lot of books or on parenting or.

Speaker 5 (59:16):
Send me the send me the book that has the
popcorn is the number one.

Speaker 3 (59:20):
And by the way neither did i i just my
my algorithm made me learn a bunch of stuff i
was like oh fuck i don't want to learn this.

Speaker 5 (59:27):
You might be watching like ai shit that's not even
real like Popcorn is a choking hazard?

Speaker 7 (59:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (59:34):
Yeah, popcorn is a choking hazard.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
That sounds like.

Speaker 4 (59:36):
Look up, Todd.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
Some other snack is trying to throw them under the bus.

Speaker 7 (59:40):
I would say popcorn is the least.

Speaker 3 (59:42):
Top 10 choking hazards for kids.

Speaker 7 (59:45):
Top 10 choking hazards. Grapes. Grapes, yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:49):
Cherry tomatoes.

Speaker 7 (59:51):
Milk duds.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
Cock rings. Cock rings has to be up there. Batteries.

Speaker 7 (59:56):
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 2 (59:57):
He's joking.

Speaker 7 (59:58):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (59:58):
Is it like a grape? Did you not cut his grapes?
Not a grape. Is he eating cherries?

Speaker 7 (01:00:03):
I wish. I wish.

Speaker 4 (01:00:05):
Okay, it can be.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
Popcorn is a leading cause of death and injury among children,
especially when they are three years old or younger.

Speaker 4 (01:00:14):
He's two and a half.

Speaker 3 (01:00:15):
But that being said, we were sitting right there and
you can't go.

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (01:00:22):
You can't go to the movies and not eat popcorn.

Speaker 7 (01:00:25):
No, you have to.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
I hate eating at the movies.

Speaker 4 (01:00:28):
You don't even eat popcorn?

Speaker 7 (01:00:29):
You don't even eat popcorn?

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
That is.

Speaker 4 (01:00:34):
What kind of childhood did you have?

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
I ate popcorn when I was a kid, and then
I was like, so now I have to.

Speaker 5 (01:00:38):
They were making Durs eat popcorn constantly, very early on.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Yeah, they were like, fuck. We got to these three,
then it doesn't work, apparently.

Speaker 7 (01:00:47):
You want some more popcorn. Come on. We can't afford
all this popcorn.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
We can't afford three kids. No, you don't have to swallow.

Speaker 7 (01:00:53):
You don't have to swallow. Get it all in your mouth.
Let's play the vacuum game. Jersey, can you gargle it?

Speaker 8 (01:01:01):
No, I just don't like dealing with popcorn and like
the fucking hands afterwards and like cleaning.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
And then I have to have a drink. Then I'm
like three quarters to the movie and I'm like, I
got to piss like a racehorse.

Speaker 8 (01:01:14):
Oh, man.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Guys, that's a lot. When it's a racehorse, that's a lot.

Speaker 7 (01:01:17):
Dude, I went to the Odyssey in like the big theater.

Speaker 6 (01:01:21):
Yep.

Speaker 7 (01:01:22):
Downtown?

Speaker 5 (01:01:22):
Where'd you go?

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
Downtown?

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Downtown?

Speaker 7 (01:01:24):
City Walk.

Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
Bro, I got to like where I thought the movie
was over. I had to pee so bad. It was
like the climax of the movie and I'm like, I
have to go. I tackled about five people. I fell
in a dude's lap. I hit somebody's junior mints off.
everybody was so mad at me dude i was like

(01:01:48):
i couldn't have biffed it harder but the the rows
were so thin and i i would i would have
peeved my pants were you at that's what i'm like
telling them.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
Why are the rows so thin that's.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
Weird i i think i don't know they don't have
a recliner seats no.

Speaker 7 (01:02:00):
It was like we were crammed in there there was
no foot.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Room i'm gonna go dcla bud.

Speaker 5 (01:02:05):
It was, I felt so bad. It was like right
at the scene when they like lock them all in together.

Speaker 8 (01:02:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:02:11):
If you know what that is towards the end.

Speaker 5 (01:02:13):
And I was just falling on, like I literally like
fell into a guy and like held him and he's like,
what the fuck?

Speaker 7 (01:02:19):
I'm like, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 3 (01:02:20):
You have to go, when you feel the inkling, when
it's a three hour movie, when you're an hour and
a half in.

Speaker 4 (01:02:27):
I just go.

Speaker 7 (01:02:27):
I should have. I thought I was going to make it.
I just go. Cause, cause I go, I go, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
What happened?

Speaker 4 (01:02:34):
And then you dead sprint there. You come back.

Speaker 3 (01:02:37):
And then you can see the second half of it.
Because I'm with you. I have to piss. If I
drive 20 minutes, I piss before leaving the house. If
I drive somewhere and it takes over 20 minutes, I'll
piss first thing when.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
I get there. You got to go before a movie.

Speaker 7 (01:02:51):
I just do another piss. You know what I do now?

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
I made my kid go. I go, we're going. He goes,
I don't have to go. I go, I did. You
go before a movie. Let's just go in there. He
goes like this. I hear him. He's next to me.
He goes, and then he just turns around.

Speaker 4 (01:03:02):
I'm like, all right.

Speaker 5 (01:03:04):
I was so embarrassed that I didn't go back. I
didn't return to my seat. I watched it from the
hallway of the like, you know, like you can see
the theater, like the screen.

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
You did one of these?

Speaker 7 (01:03:15):
So I waited all that time.

Speaker 5 (01:03:17):
I waited all that time to see it in that
one specific theater. And I watched the end of the
movie from the hallway of the theater.

Speaker 4 (01:03:27):
Oh my God.

Speaker 7 (01:03:27):
What a beta move, dude. I was so ashamed. Dude,
I straight up tackled like, five people. I felt terrible.

Speaker 4 (01:03:35):
That's crazy that you couldn't just get up and walk
out of.

Speaker 7 (01:03:37):
They were audibly... Your hands were all wet.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
You're like, sorry.

Speaker 7 (01:03:42):
They were audibly saying like, what the fuck? Yeah, and
I was like, oh, you ruined the movie. I felt
so bad. I want my money back.

Speaker 5 (01:03:49):
Because usually when I have to pee, because I always
have to pee during a movie, I'll take my phone
and I'll... This is my point. I'll put it in
where you put your soda and I'll record it. I'll
press record. So when I get back, I can review.

Speaker 7 (01:04:01):
What I missed.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
When do you do that?

Speaker 7 (01:04:04):
Yeah. When I leave to go pee. I leave my
phone there recording.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
No, I understand when you do it.

Speaker 7 (01:04:08):
Oh, when do I review it?

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
When do you watch it?

Speaker 7 (01:04:10):
At the end, after the movie's done. Hey, were you
by yourself?

Speaker 2 (01:04:13):
Because, Blake, that's genius.

Speaker 7 (01:04:15):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
And yet also crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
What?

Speaker 5 (01:04:18):
I started doing it after Sinners because that scene where
they do the Irish jig, I was gone for that.
You missed the funniest part of the movie. Did you
see the Irish jig? And I'm like, Okay, you're fucking
with me. And he's like, no, there was this whole
Irish jig part.

Speaker 4 (01:04:31):
There was an Irish jig.

Speaker 5 (01:04:31):
Yeah, I didn't see that. I wish I would have recorded.
Now I record when I go to the bathroom. But
I didn't this time because I would have had to
leave my phone behind.

Speaker 3 (01:04:41):
So, hey, but aren't you just with someone that you
can like during a slower moment go like, hey, what
did I miss?

Speaker 7 (01:04:49):
Well, I don't want to interrupt. But I want to
see it. I want to see what I missed. I
don't want to retell. Okay, well, how long did this
piss take you?

Speaker 4 (01:04:57):
The piss, you should be there and back in under
three minutes.

Speaker 5 (01:05:01):
Yeah, it was quick, but again, I couldn't go back
to my seat because it was a quick piss, but
I just waited.

Speaker 4 (01:05:09):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 (01:05:10):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (01:05:10):
That was such a bummer.

Speaker 3 (01:05:11):
It was.

Speaker 4 (01:05:12):
Any take-backs, any apologies, any epic slams?

Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
If you could go back, would you have taken your seat,
or do you like who you are? Um.

Speaker 5 (01:05:23):
I wouldn't have took my seat because the aisles were
so thin. I would have stepped on feet again.

Speaker 3 (01:05:29):
Sounds like they got to upgrade their whole lifestyle there
at the CityWalk, dude.

Speaker 7 (01:05:32):
They do. They need to make the lanes a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:05:36):
DTLA is roomy.

Speaker 8 (01:05:38):
Although I was so close, I felt so bad. I
took my kid and we were like fucking face up
against the screen.

Speaker 2 (01:05:45):
It was not good. I don't even know why they
offer those seats.

Speaker 7 (01:05:48):
They're terrible. Dude, I will say that Paw Patrol is.

Speaker 3 (01:05:53):
It was the first time I went to like a
true children's movie because I took both a Toy Story,
but that is like.

Speaker 7 (01:06:02):
A lot of adult go to that? Yeah, yeah. It
was more of a.

Speaker 4 (01:06:05):
It was like a bigger event type picture.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
Sure.

Speaker 4 (01:06:08):
And it's for kids, but there was a lot of
adults there.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
We've grown up with Toy Stories, but it is.

Speaker 7 (01:06:13):
Paw Patrol is for very young kids. Paw Patrol is.

Speaker 4 (01:06:16):
You're not going there unless you're taking your two, three, four.

Speaker 7 (01:06:20):
five-year-old.

Speaker 5 (01:06:21):
Yeah, it's weird when you see the dude's solo adult
watching Paw Patrol.

Speaker 4 (01:06:25):
Yeah, that's... You're a strange guy. That's questionable behavior.

Speaker 7 (01:06:28):
Uh-huh. Yeah, you're... You have an octopus in your pants.

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
You're on the other side of the bell curve. There's
no doubt.

Speaker 7 (01:06:34):
You're a tent school gang. Yeah, you got a cold...
You got a cold dick.

Speaker 2 (01:06:37):
That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (01:06:38):
Yeah, something's up with you. You need to be escorted.

Speaker 3 (01:06:41):
But it was funny hearing, like, the little kids. There
was probably six families in there.

Speaker 2 (01:06:46):
What else was on a roll? Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:06:47):
There was probably six families in there, and you hear, like, during.

Speaker 3 (01:06:50):
when the bad guy would come, there was one kid
that just kept going, Dada, that's the bad guy.

Speaker 7 (01:06:56):
And then Bo, who's like a little younger. He'd just
throw up two fingers.

Speaker 4 (01:07:00):
No, he would go, he'd go, bad guy, and then go.

Speaker 5 (01:07:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
Dang.

Speaker 7 (01:07:08):
That's so tight. Classic, dude. Man.

Speaker 3 (01:07:12):
Any take backs, any apologies, any epic slams?

Speaker 7 (01:07:15):
I guess I will take back the way I said grenade.
What is it? Grenade? Grenade? Is that the correct?

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
I don't know. Grenade.

Speaker 7 (01:07:24):
Sorry, I said grenade.

Speaker 4 (01:07:26):
I think you're saying garnade or something.

Speaker 2 (01:07:27):
You're saying grenade, like granola, instead of granola.

Speaker 7 (01:07:31):
It's granola. Yeah, and it's grenade.

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
This is just part of your speech pattern.

Speaker 7 (01:07:36):
Yeah, I just, you know, we're from the Bay. We
say it a little different.

Speaker 2 (01:07:39):
You say din-nin. You say din-nin. You say granola.

Speaker 4 (01:07:44):
I will say it's getting worse. I feel like he
puts it on.

Speaker 7 (01:07:48):
A little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:07:49):
Like suddenly you'll like have a lisp.

Speaker 2 (01:07:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:07:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:53):
You drove an Xscape, a Ford Xscape.

Speaker 5 (01:07:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:56):
Escape.

Speaker 7 (01:07:57):
Escape.

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
Honestly, in 2026, it's majority rules.

Speaker 7 (01:08:02):
I think whatever more people are saying. There's a lot
of things people say wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:08:05):
I keep hearing simplistic online being used.

Speaker 7 (01:08:08):
Simplistic? That's a word.

Speaker 2 (01:08:10):
It is, but people don't use it for what it means.

Speaker 7 (01:08:14):
The thing that still blows my mind is. What does
it mean?

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
It means like stupid. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:08:19):
Simplistic. Simplicity. That's obvious.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
But not... People use it for simple.

Speaker 7 (01:08:25):
It's simplistic.

Speaker 4 (01:08:26):
Oh.

Speaker 8 (01:08:27):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:28):
I guess.

Speaker 7 (01:08:29):
Yeah, sure.

Speaker 4 (01:08:30):
Seems real.

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
I think it means like... Let's.

Speaker 7 (01:08:33):
See how simplistic.

Speaker 8 (01:08:37):
You brought up the whole how he talks, and I'm like,
it's interesting how we're all talking.

Speaker 7 (01:08:42):
That's my... Hey, that's my take back, okay? Sorry about that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:08:46):
I feel like I.

Speaker 3 (01:08:48):
I feel like I stand by everything I said. Other than, like,
I know I'm going to get some blowback about giving
my child popcorn, but I'm telling you what, we're right there.

Speaker 7 (01:08:59):
The boy loves popcorn. Wake up!

Speaker 3 (01:09:00):
And we're at the movies, and I'm not going to
not give him some popcorn.

Speaker 7 (01:09:05):
I'm sorry about that. Yeah, I'm going to challenge that
popcorn is that bad.

Speaker 2 (01:09:08):
So simplistic means not complicated. Yeah, simple.

Speaker 4 (01:09:14):
But I didn't know that that meant stupid. I thought
it meant, like, yeah, it's stupid.

Speaker 5 (01:09:18):
I feel like an old way of saying someone had
a disability was calling them simple.

Speaker 7 (01:09:24):
But that's like, that's like an old, old term. All right. Okay.
And that's another episode of.

Speaker 2 (01:09:31):
We really know how to end them. This is important.

Speaker 5 (01:09:35):
That shit's important.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
And I'm feeling good.

Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
Oh, we're going to Ontario. We'll be at Great Falls, Ontario.
Falls View, Ontario.

Speaker 7 (01:09:51):
Oh, baby. Is this our first show in Canada?

Speaker 3 (01:09:55):
Yeah, this is our first Canadian show in Ontario, Canada.

Speaker 2 (01:09:58):
I do like that you don't know. Are we doing
an official thing right now?

Speaker 7 (01:10:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:10:04):
Oh, no, the show's over.

Speaker 5 (01:10:05):
Bye.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Follow Us On

Hosts And Creators

Anders Holm

Kyle Newacheck

Adam Devine

Blake Anderson

Show Links

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Crime Junkie

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep 314: Uncle Sam Wants YOU To Have A Cock Ring