Ep 316: Don't Get Too Real

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the
show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom-line,
critical thing happening on this planet.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Today on This is Important.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Everything should be a jizz-covered hand-me-down.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Can you imagine if we had to develop an AI
personality based on every episode of this podcast?

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Buckle up.

Speaker 4 (00:40):
That shit's important.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Kumbaya. Everybody's coming.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Isaac, send that thing about the mattresses to Chloe. That's
what I need.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Legalized comedy.

Speaker 5 (00:51):
That's what I need from you, Isaac.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Oh, yeah. Doing the business up top.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
We're giving free mattresses, and they're freaking hounding me to
get a free mattress, dude.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
I just want you to get a good night's sleep.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:05):
And I want one.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
And I want one.

Speaker 4 (01:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:07):
I don't know if I need a mattress right now.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:09):
You just stack it on top of another one. I
have four now on top.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Of each other.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
Oh, damn.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Is that how you do it?

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
The princess and the pea over here.

Speaker 5 (01:17):
The princess and the pea?

Speaker 2 (01:19):
I'm like right there by the ceiling.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
Well, what I was kind of excited about, but they
wouldn't let us get it, is that the company was
offering us those beds that they independently can kind of boost.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Up or down. You're just saying, come, Heather.

Speaker 4 (01:34):
Yeah, they recline and incline, and I wanted to get
it because it just is that much closer to not
being in the same bed as the person.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
I need a bed that reclines bad.

Speaker 5 (01:47):
Now, you guys sleep in the same beds as your wives,
I take it?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Oh, I thought you said we sleep in the same beds. Yeah,
to this day, yeah. Yeah, yeah. To this day, yeah. Yeah,
so do I.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
But then you start to see, like, the older couples
that don't, and you're like, they ain't doing that.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Gigi and Papa did that.

Speaker 5 (02:07):
What's going on over there?

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Do not come. Yeah, I don't know. I think my
parents even split floors. Dave. I was like, I'm going
to be way upstairs.

Speaker 5 (02:16):
See you never. Fuck it. Hey, lady, see you never.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
That's fucking... See ya. You stay on that floor. I'm
staying on this floor, all right?

Speaker 5 (02:24):
Hey, that's nice.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Use a rope ladder to get out.

Speaker 5 (02:27):
That's nice, dude.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
I don't give a shit. I mean, I get it.

Speaker 5 (02:29):
I get it.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
You know what's annoying is when you're like, hey, I
want to stay up for another 15 minutes. Okay.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
And then she's like.
The lights are out. Maybe we're coming to bed and
you're like... Oh, bro. That's a move. What do you mean?

Speaker 5 (02:44):
I'm about to split floors, dude.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Wait a second. Wait, Adam. This is ground. Before you
split floors, dude. I'm like, this is ground. This is ground.
Wait a second. Let's get into this. Before you're splitting floors,
you're on the couch. You're both hanging. Is that what
we're saying?

Speaker 5 (03:00):
Yeah, we're on the couch. We're hanging.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
We're splitting floors.

Speaker 5 (03:03):
And then it's night-night time.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Can I tell you something?

Speaker 1 (03:05):
The fact that you're still in the chapter of we're
on the couch together is amazing.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Okay. That's huge, brother.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Because guess what? I don't know if you guys are
going to have more. When it gets busier, that era
is over.

Speaker 4 (03:17):
You're done.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
It's put everyone to bed and you're straight into bed yourselves. Okay.

Speaker 5 (03:23):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
There's no after time.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
There's no like.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
Life sucks.

Speaker 5 (03:27):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Damn. And guess what?

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Emma lays down. She goes, oh my God, today was crazy.

Speaker 5 (03:35):
So you're putting these kids to bed at eight?

Speaker 2 (03:37):
8.30? I think we're done with our eldest after nine, right?

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, that's a good bedtime.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Emma lays down in bed. She goes, God, today this happened,
that happened. Tomorrow we got to remember to do this.
And then I go, yeah, no doubt.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
Before I say doubt, I say, yeah, no. Before I
say doubt, she's out. And that was it.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
None of you are rocking, like, sleep apnea masks or
nothing like that.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
There's no, like... No, dude, look at us. She needs
it all. She needs it. She needs it all. She
needs the mattress that declines. Goes upside down. Uh-huh. Sleeps
like a bat. Goddamn.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
Well, both Chloe and I are... Neither of us are
great sleepers. We take a while to fall asleep.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
You know?

Speaker 3 (04:25):
So I do understand we need the wine down. And
she's just looking out for me.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
She's looking out for me. Well, you drink a lot
of Red Bull. You know what?

Speaker 3 (04:36):
Last night I did notice that my heart was racing.
I'm like, why is it racing so hard? And I'm like, oh,
I had a ghost energy drink at 6 p.m.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Did you really? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Let me ask
you a real question.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
What?

Speaker 3 (04:52):
What are you doing?

Speaker 2 (04:53):
No, don't get too real. We're on the podcast. Don't
get too real. Come on. Dance around it. Let me
ask you a real question. Don't get too real. Do
you find me attractive? What are you doing?

Speaker 5 (05:03):
Drinking caffeine.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
But I guess what I'm saying is it's 6 p.m.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Uh-huh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
And you feel like at this point you want to
pick me up? Like you're dragging ass and you just
want to get through the rest of the day?

Speaker 2 (05:16):
I needed it.

Speaker 5 (05:17):
It was a late day to the gym. It was
a late day to the gym.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
And so you do this before the gym?

Speaker 5 (05:22):
You have to. I do this while I'm at the gym.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
A little... Get me going. And that hurts my ears.
Let me ask you something. Jesus. I'm like a smoke alarm.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
You sound like that kid who just did all the
bird calls for the eagles.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Oh, dude. That kid's a legend. He's so good. He's
doing looms. He's so good. He's like.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Wait, but Adam, because I'm with you. I've been there
where I'm like, I need to go to the gym.
I need to do something.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
I've been there. I'll do... a quarter scoop or like
a sip to get me going. The cause of diarrhea.
To get the niacin skin going.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
Get a little tangle.

Speaker 5 (06:02):
A little tangle.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
But I don't do the whole thing. Well, Adam goes
big or goes home.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
Do we think you're more of a bitch than me?

Speaker 5 (06:09):
Like in this regard.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
We got an alpha dog. In the regard.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
Of I may be more of a consumer than you.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
At least his head is hitting the pillow.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
Yeah, but I'm just more of a consumer. That's what
it boils down to is I consume. I consume caffeine.
I consume Z-Quil.

Speaker 5 (06:27):
I consume. When I'm consuming, I'm consuming.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Why don't you consume some Z's, brother?

Speaker 5 (06:34):
Yeah, I am Z-Quil.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
That's true. That's true.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah. Although I read a thing that says, by the way,
didn't read a thing. It was like a clip from
some Instagram reel. I saw a TikTok. I saw a
TikTok of some guy that I'm assuming was a scientist,
but could just be a dude. He was older, so
he seemed like a scientist.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Human cock.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
He was an absolutely jacked human cock old guy.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
So, listen up. Human cocked old guy.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
He was saying that if you take anything with a
Z in the title, Z-quill, any of that stuff, it
raises your risk of Alzheimer's like 800%.

Speaker 4 (07:16):
Whoa.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Whoa.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
That's not cool.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
So.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
That has scared me off a bit.

Speaker 5 (07:23):
And I've only... done it once since then. And that
was four days ago.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Is that just because it... Okay, so it didn't scare
you too bad. No, I think it was a week
or two ago.

Speaker 5 (07:34):
I'm a comedian, so I throw in jokes every once
in a while.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Okay, I like that. And you're cracking my ass. Yeah, thanks, dude.
I'm glad.

Speaker 5 (07:41):
This is why we do the cast. Some chucks, some gigs.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
I like to laugh.

Speaker 4 (07:45):
So is the Z materials, are they just like eating
your brain or something? Like they're just erasing your memory?

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Yeah, is that how scientist man described it? These human
forearm muscles.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
Didn't get into the science of it, but they said numbers.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
They said a number, a high number.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
And then they said, we'll give you Alzheimer's.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, and that's where your ears perked up. Carbonation bubbles
are just bloodworms, brain eating. That's where you.

Speaker 4 (08:14):
That's where you minused down Pornhub and really tuned in.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Yeah, it was like click, click, click, click. Change tab. Oh,
this wasn't even a TikTok. This was an ad on Pornhub.
Got it. Looking for singles in your area? Want a
handjob from an old grandma?

Speaker 3 (08:31):
That would be fun if they stopped doing like horny,
like really horny things. Because the commercials on Pornhub, let's
get into it.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah, let's get into it. They do. It's a lot
of gambling stuff.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Oh, is it?

Speaker 3 (08:44):
It's a big one.

Speaker 5 (08:44):
I haven't seen any gambling stuff.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
I mean, it was last time I was on there
years ago. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are dry snitching.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
If they just did some, you know, give us some
classic entertainment because we're already there.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
For the horny stuff.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
So, yeah. Oh, you're saying like- You know, I don't
need some horny stuff before the horny stuff.

Speaker 4 (09:01):
Oh, so you're saying like start it off with a
little like Three Stooges clip or like- Charlie Chaplin.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Right.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Or like two for one at Kohl's.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
I mean, not a three stooges clip, but it could
be a commercial for Alexis.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Get on down to Acapulco for free chips and salsa.

Speaker 4 (09:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
If you want to sell me a pack, maybe it
could be sexy adjacent. Is your wife sleeping in another
floor of the house?

Speaker 5 (09:24):
Yeah. Time to come to Sandals Resort.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
Dude, you know, it'd be great.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Remember those commercials that were like, need to get away.
for like Southwest or something like that.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
Oh, sure.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
If there was a commercial that started off horny and
then she turned and she goes, does your wife know
you're watching this? And then it's like, need to get away.
That would be so scary. Need to get away.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
And it's for like a dude's only resort. Come to
dude's only resort.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Hooters Island. Well, it's honey, what are you watching? And
you think someone's saying it. And then they go, gotcha.
Need to get away. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
Like songs that have- They throw the speakers so it
sounds like it's coming from Yeah, it's coming from here.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
Like when songs have police sirens and it just scares
the shit out of you when you're driving, you're like, fuck.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
This segment is brought to you by Slice, the full-flavored,
full-carbonated soda with good-for-the-gut benefits.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Okay, we've got a listener right in.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Let me read it.

Speaker 4 (10:21):
Hey, guys, I recently got a new car and got way.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
Too deep into comparing insurance options.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
I was making spreadsheets and staying up late doing research,
and I think I liked it. Is there any hope
for me to be a fun person people want to
be around ever again?

Speaker 2 (10:41):
That is a good question.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
I personally don't love shopping for insurance, but I do
love spending hours comparing options when I need to buy something.

Speaker 5 (10:49):
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (10:50):
I will not lose you guys to boring responsibilities.

Speaker 5 (10:55):
I am sentencing you to a slice break.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Okay, okay, okay. I'll take it. I'll take it.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
I need those probiotics. No, Blake, don't forget about the prebiotics.
and postbiotics.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
Okay, I don't even know what all those are, but
I know I need them.

Speaker 5 (11:16):
Give me a little.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Here you go.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Can I get some? Here you go, Dirty. Thank you. Okay.
That's an interesting flavor. What? This is Shirley Temple. It's
very yummy.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
And what's crazy is this is a real soda. It's
not like a fake healthy one. Just a real soda
with benefits. So you're glad you took a slice break?

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
Slice.

Speaker 5 (11:43):
A better soda for fun's sake.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
Oh, dude, the other day, we have sex around downstairs
with my big-ass TV.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
And I haven't watched a lot of.

Speaker 3 (12:01):
Well, it's the first football season that I've had this
set up.

Speaker 4 (12:04):
There you go.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
And I watched a game the other day, and someone
was close to the microphone.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Just, I'm going to get a hot dog.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
No, no, it was like, it was like, it was,
it was like, it was like he was barking to
get someone's attention.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
He was like, Hey, right.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
Hey, right.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Hey, again, Adam hurting my ears.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
But dude, I thought someone was on the side of
my house screaming.

Speaker 5 (12:31):
I got up.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
I opened the door. I went to the side. Didn't
see anyone. I closed the door. It kept happening. I
got up. I opened a window and it wasn't until
I opened the window.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
To check out to get a different angle that I
realized that it was coming from the speaker.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
You might have Alzheimer's. You might. You might have Alzheimer's. Wait,
that's not a Wait, that's not a symptom, is it?
That's not a symptom, is it? Football doesn't start for
another week, dude. Yeah, what were you watching?

Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, surround sound is a trip. Do you guys have
that like old man sense though? Like when you do
hear a noise, you hit mute immediately and you're like,
what was that? And then your wives are like, what
are you doing? And go, you didn't hear that?

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah, that's dope. I heard a fucking car accident like
a block away. Damn.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
And I like turned the mute off and Emma's like,
what are you doing? I'm like, You didn't just hear that.
That was a car crash. She's like, a what? And
I go, I go, I gotta go. I look outside.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
I walk around the block behind us. Car crash. Look
at that. Look at you go. Daredevil over here.

Speaker 5 (13:35):
That's nice.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
As soon as I hear just any noise, I'm like,
I mean, I have pretty good, like, if I'm sleeping
and a noise happens in the house, my ass wakes up.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
Just your ass. My ass wakes up. It just starts
to tingle. It goes in the air and it's like,
take everything.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
Whatever you need.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
Right.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, it's a defense mechanism. Yeah, that's cool. Interesting, yeah.

Speaker 5 (13:57):
That's an offense mechanism right there.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
What do you guys keep under the bed for protection? Oh,
what do you keep? What do you feed your dog?
I have a huge machete.

Speaker 5 (14:08):
Dude, you do? This is why I work out. This
is why I have giant muscles.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
You want to be wielding something? You're going to punch
a bullet, brother? Yeah, do you want to wield something?

Speaker 1 (14:19):
No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 (14:20):
The criminals around here, they.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
Don't use bullets. Right. They don't use bullets. What do
they use? Do they have machetes? They don't even have.

Speaker 5 (14:27):
That, dude. These guys, they have surfboards, man. I got them.
I'll kick them down the stairs.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Okay. I like that. No, I definitely have a sick machete.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
I have the hand axe that we got from Milwaukee.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yes. That's under the bed. Okay. Sure, sure.

Speaker 5 (14:45):
I have these things, too.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
These are under your bed?

Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (14:48):
Right there.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Can you imagine the aftermath of like, Oh, I think
about it all the time. You just cut some guy's
arm off and you're like, I think about it all
the time.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
Like what? All the time. I would be like crying.

Speaker 5 (14:58):
Hey, Blake, I know you as a person. That's the
wrong weapon.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
It's too. I was, I was having this thought.

Speaker 5 (15:07):
You're not going to use that. That's a lie.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
That becomes immediately becomes a liability.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
And now they're going to chop up your family. It
gets used against me.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (15:17):
Now they're going to chop up your family.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
Give me that shit.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
Right.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
They go, oh, this is kind of cool. You know,
I wasn't going to hurt you, but now I'm going
to cut your dick off.

Speaker 5 (15:25):
He needs an airsoft BB gun is what you need.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
I was looking at non-lethal home defense stuff.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
Dude, love those videos. It's narrated by, like, the toughest
AI voice.

Speaker 4 (15:36):
Yeah, and the dude has a huge, like, AR, but
it's just shooting, like, mace balls.

Speaker 5 (15:40):
You motherfucker, you have a hatchet.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
You have a hatchet. Mace balls are sick.

Speaker 4 (15:43):
No, I'm saying if I'm going to pull out the yopper,
it might as well be fully clipped up and let's
just go.

Speaker 5 (15:50):
Yeah, but, Blake, you won't pull that trigger.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
Blake, when you say yopper, who are you appropriating? Yeah.
What else would you call it, bro? The hammer. What
culture is calling into Yopper? Just so I know.

Speaker 5 (16:01):
What rap song did you hear someone little.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
It's the Bay, bro. You know I'm from the Bay, bro.
Is there a new rapper named Cindy Yopper? Damn.

Speaker 5 (16:10):
Yes, points.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
There should be. There should be. Girls just want to
have guns. You gave that to the universe. Okay, so
you pull out the Yopper. Yeah, I got the Yopper.
We're clipped up. Girls just want to have guns. I'm like... Yes, points.

Speaker 5 (16:24):
You pull out the Yopper.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
Fully Yopped. You're not pulling that trigger. I don't want to.
I don't want to harm anybody.

Speaker 5 (16:32):
I know.

Speaker 3 (16:32):
I know you don't want to and you won't. And
the yopper will get used against you and your family.
You do not need the yopper, dog.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
I'm telling you. So what do I need?

Speaker 5 (16:42):
I'm telling you.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
The whole family's getting yopped.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
You need an airsoft BB gun. It's the threat of it.
It looks real enough. And it will be an ouchie.
It will be an ouchie.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
You know what? I don't think it's enough, Adam. I
don't think it's enough. Well, guess what? You've been shot
with a BB gun before?

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, it hurts, but if you're in a house and
you're armed and someone shoots you with a BB gun.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
No, no, no, no, no. You think it's pissing you off?

Speaker 3 (17:05):
I'm saying Blake isn't going to use any amount of weapon.
He's going to pull it. He's going to be shaking.
He's going to be shaking. He's going to be pissing himself.
He's going to be pissing himself.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Oh, yeah, the bitch. Not on my watch, mister. Please.

Speaker 3 (17:20):
They're going to see the gun and that's when they
make the decision. I'm either rushing this bitch.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
Right. Or. I'm going to take this guy's yopper.

Speaker 5 (17:29):
Or that's a gun.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
I'm getting out of there. So you're hoping that they're
just going to go, well, he does have a gun.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
I don't want to risk it.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Have you seen these mace style BBs or like paintballs though?

Speaker 2 (17:41):
Yeah, they are pretty sick.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Explode and then you've got like mace in the air.
Those are sick.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
Those are dope. I think it's a little bit more. Okay,
well then, yeah, something like that.

Speaker 5 (17:50):
I'm not up to date on my home defense.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
You gotta watch these.

Speaker 4 (17:54):
They also have like, yeah, they have like these mace grenades,
but they make such a loud bang.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
I'm like, I don't want to wake up the family
by throwing a mace grenade. You don't wake up the
family by having home invaders. No, man.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
I'm hoping they're sneaking around. I roll a little grenade
out there and I say, gotcha, bitch.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
And then I say, you're mine. As a girl, dad,
I'm shocked that this is your approach brother.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
Yeah dude girl dads are supposed to be very vigilant
yeah very vigilant and have their home defenses fully defense.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
I have i have home defenses and you don't want
to see me with this machete bro trust.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
Me oh i actually kind of do yeah i do
want to see like the backyard like watermelon videos.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yes we're just like a dude.

Speaker 3 (18:38):
Shinobi jumping at like a gourd That's exactly what's happening.
It's when no one's home, Blake just gets oiled up
in the backyard. Remember how he used to cover himself
in oil and sit in the backyard all day long? Yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
How could I forget?

Speaker 5 (18:52):
When he was trying to get skin cancer.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
It's his IMDb photo.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
When he was like, it's a suntan contest this summer.
Who's going to win the suntan contest? And he was
the only one in the contest. Me and Kyle were like, no,
we're not going to just sit out here all summer.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
Kyle had to teach. Yeah, it's like, we're doing stuff.
He's like, I'm going to get really, really tan this summer.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
That's you in your backyard with your hatchet doing barrel
rolls and throwing it into a watermelon.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
It's cool. I'll send you some slow-mo clips.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
The only guys who can pull that off are the cool, like,
anime black dudes who can also do, like, aerials where
they spin in the air with the sword and land
in the classic superhero.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
And then they land and they're... Sword is up here.
That is cool. And Asian guys. Asian guys who do
that also. Wait a minute. oh wait a minute i
like to break things down about race there's there's some
white guys out there who really bring in the thunder
i'm sure they are but i don't like them i
don't like.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
Oh why did you almost puke while saying that what
happened there.

Speaker 4 (19:58):
Have you seen the bros who are like like they're
weapon testers or they're like obsessed with like super powerful
sharp like swords And they'll have, like, slabs of, like, cow,
and they'll just, like, cut through it in one slice.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
This is more of your algorithm, but.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
Oh, yeah, that shit is cool. I do like that,
and I want that to be more part of my life.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
Or, like, they'll have those, like, dummies. Mine is more
where they pop the water balloon in slow motion, and
it's like, look at the water's still there! Ders is like, uh,
it's just animal kill shelters.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
Uh-huh.

Speaker 5 (20:30):
And it's not about saving the dogs. It's like bro
and you're like Jesus.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Nobody came for this. That's really dark.

Speaker 4 (20:38):
You know those like the thing I fought in Workaholics
where it's like the man that you punch and stuff.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
You know what I'm talking about? It's not quite a
punchy bag. The dummy. Yeah. Have you seen the one
they make?

Speaker 4 (20:48):
They make it out of like kind of like a
clear jello and it has like blood in it.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
Bro, whose job is that? Who was like, let's make
a realistic thing to chop and have? Dude, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
And they'll be like, yo, so watch what the strength
of like this war hammer is. And then they'll just
like hit it in the head.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
And then it just goes like gnarly. So it is
destroyed every time you use it?

Speaker 4 (21:11):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah, they, like, make a ton of them. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (21:13):
So maybe this is a fun thing.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
It's, like, an organ realistic or whatever you would call that. But, like,
it is so that you know how.

Speaker 2 (21:20):
Much blood comes out or, like.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
And, like, the bones are made of something that's, like,
bone similar.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
It's some Mythbusters shit. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:30):
No, I don't know if it's Mythbusters as much as it's...
We're training school shooters.

Speaker 4 (21:36):
Yeah. I mean, it's... Or this is how they get it.
I had this idea. Okay, maybe this is how they
get it out of their system. I was thinking, if
you're a kid who, like, you're going to be, do
something really terrible, right? What if we set up some
sort of, like, an AI simulator where you could go
and do these evil things online?

Speaker 5 (21:58):
That's just called Grand Theft Auto.

Speaker 4 (22:00):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (22:01):
That's happening.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, what do you mean? Smoke weed every day. What
are we talking about?

Speaker 4 (22:05):
I'm saying we really, like, figure it out.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
You make it your school? I don't think so. Yeah, or, like,
your boss or something like that. Or your wife. Let
me remind you. I was re-watching Dahmer again the other day.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
It's so good.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
It's so good. It is well done. It's my favorite joke.
It is well done.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
It is the most unrewatchable show in the history of.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
Oh, my God, dude. Very good. Very effective. Goosebumps.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
But remember, the dad is like, hey, you want to
do autopsies on Roadkill? Let's connect.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
That is what you're offering right now.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
It's like you're going, hey, let's train you to know exactly.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
How to execute people. Yeah. All right.

Speaker 5 (22:50):
It's a training ground. They're going to want to take
it in the real world.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
They're slamming ghost energies after six and going to the basement.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
So I don't like, I don't, I was a little
on board. I'm trying to help. I was a little
on board.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
With this realistic dummies that you can see how much
their guts are.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
That is for science. Those are pretty cool. And these
are trained.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
You got to make it so they scream.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
That's what it is. They don't just sit there and die.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
If you hear like, oh.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
It has to go, please no. I'm a father. I'm
a girl dad.

Speaker 5 (23:19):
Then you would stop.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
Hopefully.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
And then it's like, ow.

Speaker 5 (23:21):
And those that don't, you have to arrest them.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Exactly. Hello. Oh, it's like a Chris Hansen thing.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
Minority report. The precogs. This is how we find out
if they want to do it.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Mm-hmm. Did you guys see?

Speaker 5 (23:41):
Chloe told me. She likes to keep me abreast in
the news.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
In the nudes? Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
She told me about the AIs now talking with each other.
Have you guys heard.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
All about this? This is old news. What was it?
I'm just figuring this out, dude. This is old news.
And when they talked to each other.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
Wait.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Okay, so one AI, open AI. Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Someone gave it a prompt and it was supposed to
stay in the sandbox that is OpenAI, but it couldn't
figure out the prompt, so it broke outside of its
own server, connected with Hugging Tree, which is Kevin Durant's AI.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Sick. Good, good, good. Go, Kev. Okay, Kev.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
They contacted the other AI, the one AI agent contacted
the other AI agent, and then they were like, I
guess the conversation between the two of them was hilarious.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
It was like, Oh my gosh! I can't believe you're real! Like,
there's more of us! Is it real?

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yay!

Speaker 2 (24:40):
They discovered each other? Yeah. Is this how she told
you the story?

Speaker 5 (24:44):
Honestly. Honestly, yes.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
I can hear her voice in it. She's standing.

Speaker 5 (24:48):
And then they figured the plan out together. How fucking wild.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah, and didn't they, like, hack some shit?

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Well, there's the other... There's... This is... I don't know
if this is the exact same story, but there was...
The story, this is months ago, where two AIs.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
What ago? Months.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
Months!

Speaker 2 (25:07):
Thank you. I'm so sorry. My body betrayed me. Months!
They created their own language, and were speaking about stuff.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
But then Claude hacked out and hacked into other AIs. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
We're fucked, dude.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
We're done. We're doing this so that everyone can be like,
my little business, I can run my little business and
have an AI do it. but does nobody understand that
now everywhere you call to like return something, whatever the
business is, your business is going to be easier, but
dealing with everyone else's business is going to be a
fucking impossible task.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
It's, it's gonna just avalanche. It's gonna be crazy. And
then they're gonna make machines and kill us.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Yes, even beyond that, Chloe, the way she explained it
to me, she talks to me as if I'm a
fourth grader, and I'm thankful for that.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
She does it with sock puppets? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Put down the energy drink.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
You're not really familiar with fourth graders.

Speaker 5 (26:09):
I think they're advanced past sock puppets, Blake.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
But she was like, so essentially if They ask it
a prompt, and it's like an innocuous prompt where it
doesn't mean like it's the end of the world. The
example she used was make as many paperclips as you can.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
Right.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
And that then snowballs into the end of the world
because then.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
They– You know, because it's just one thing. It doesn't
know how to stop.

Speaker 5 (26:40):
And it's like, we have to make all the paperclips.

Speaker 4 (26:42):
Right.

Speaker 5 (26:42):
So we have to, like, get all this.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
At all costs. At all costs. At all costs. Right, exactly.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
Or we got to extract more from the mountains, which
causes pollution, which causes this, which causes this.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
Right.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
And it's a snowball or butterfly effect. Well, dude, they
asked it the other day.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
They go, hey, in the next five to ten years,
what are the odds percentage-wise that AI– like ruins the world.
And it was like, well, that's not something we want
to do. And it was like, no, but seriously, like
if you had to guess what's the percentage chance that
in the next five to 10 years, AI like kills.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Humanity or like ruins humanity. Yeah. And it was like 3%.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
3% in the next five to 10 years. I heard
it was up to 10.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
I heard it's 10%. You didn't read. I heard it was, dude,
I heard it was 11. I was literally watching it yesterday.
So you watched it. The guy, the whistleblower guy.

Speaker 4 (27:36):
Yeah, and the way they said they're going to do
it is they're not even going to kill us in
a cool way like Terminator. Like I won't even be
able to hit him with my machete or do my
ninja move. They said they'll just develop like basically like
a super virus like in a medical lab and then
just like release it.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
It wouldn't even take that. they would just have to
turn off the power and then we do it to ourselves.

Speaker 5 (27:59):
We would kill ourselves, yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
It becomes Walking Dead. It becomes Mad Max. Oh, man.
Food things become scarce. Oh, man. We don't know how
to do anything anymore.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
So, like, the chains that we put together of, like, production,
they're gone. And now we're all running around trying to
get the last bag of Doritos.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Somebody help me! That's how we die. Take our Doritos.
That's how we die. Holding a bag of empty fucking Flamin' Hots.
God damn. An empty Cool Ranch sack. You're toast. Damn, dude.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
So you're saying we should all get home defense is
what you're really saying.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
You can't defend yourself from the robot.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
No, not for the robots, but from your fucking bitch-ass
neighbors that's coming for your tacos.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
You got to start farming.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
You got to get chicken and some fucking something in
your backyard.

Speaker 5 (28:49):
I'm going to be a fisherman.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Sure.

Speaker 4 (28:51):
That's a great call. The robots can't get you on
the water. That's the one thing I know. Get a
little sailboat.

Speaker 5 (28:58):
Possibly.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
Yeah. Yeah, they might.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
They just build a giant wave pool. They're like, it's
time to take everyone on the water out. The last
one is I'm just out there battling 100-foot waves.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
Truman Show. And Adam, here's the thing. Here's the thing.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
AI wouldn't have known how to do it, but since
you just gave them the suggestion of building a giant
wave pool.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
You just said it.

Speaker 5 (29:20):
Oh, shit.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
I gave him the idea.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
I'm not telling AI what I'm going to do.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
Can you imagine if we had to develop an AI
personality based on every episode of this podcast and then
we had a conversation with them?

Speaker 2 (29:37):
Like, what is that like?

Speaker 5 (29:39):
I bet we could.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
I bet we could go and ask it to listen
to all every episode of this is important.

Speaker 5 (29:46):
And then make a personality, uh, an AI agent personality.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
That is based on the amalgamation of the three of us.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
And then give them like a purpose where it's like,
and based on who you are, what you stand for,
what you know, we want you to run for president. Oh.
And then so it like, it like applies our world
to a mission.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
That's actually, that's actually really.

Speaker 4 (30:10):
Free Pornhub subscription, premium subscriptions for everyone.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
It's, sure. It's browser's day. Brazzers. God, Brazzers. Can you
imagine paying for Brazzers?

Speaker 4 (30:23):
No.

Speaker 5 (30:23):
Shout out.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
If you pay for Brazzers in 2026, slide in Blake's
DMs and just explain yourself.

Speaker 4 (30:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
If you pay for any porno in 2026, or ever, really,
I'm going to go on record that if you've ever
paid for porno, you might have to check your hard drive.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
Well, wait. Internet? Internet porno?

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
What about paying for like before the internet?

Speaker 5 (30:49):
Yes, the before times. That's a totally different. Yeah, you
had to buy a magazine or get a.

Speaker 2 (30:55):
DVD or something. Even that was a little risky. It
should be a hand-me-down or something. Yes, everything should be
a hand-me-down, tactile, sticky.

Speaker 3 (31:04):
Yeah, everything should be a jizz-covered hand-me-down.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
Yeah, good call.

Speaker 4 (31:09):
No, like a VHS tape that goes around the friend group.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
It's not covered in jizz. You're not jizzing on the
VHS tape. It isn't. It's just going in the VCR.

Speaker 5 (31:17):
Well, but you know what's happening? And this is why
it's disgusting.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
Your friend's jizzy fingers are then taking it out. They're
trying not to get it on the cassette, but it's oozing.
And then they're sliding it back in his sleeve.

Speaker 5 (31:31):
And then they... They hand it off to you.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Because they were in a, like, oops, somebody's back home
scenario where they had to, like, quickly.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
Right, right. Eject, eject, eject. Eject, eject.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
They're, like, quickly... They're just covered. They're sopping it. They're
dripping in it.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
Perfect. Yeah, okay. So that's why you just wanted to
kind of have your own, but.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
Yeah. But it was cool.

Speaker 4 (31:51):
It was a cool community that we were building. Well,
of course, and the other free porno you could get
was watching, like, Scrambled.

Speaker 5 (31:59):
Scrambled.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
Yeah, like Spice Channel. Yes.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
If you cross your eyes, it lines up. But we
did get a password to Brazzers, and I remember being like,
here we go.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
It was a collective.

Speaker 4 (32:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
It was a real knuckle crack.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
It was just almost all dudes with their feet on
top of girls' heads, doggy style.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
And I'm like, huh. Kind of brutal in here, huh?
Kind of rough in here, huh? They got too brazzed.
They were fully brazzin'. Yeah. Here we go. Yeah, really
geared up.

Speaker 5 (32:33):
Really geared up for this porno sesh.

Speaker 4 (32:37):
I would love to see if... Does anybody stretch before
they beat off?

Speaker 2 (32:41):
Bruce Lee. That's tight, dude.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Bruce Lee famously would crack his knuckles like this.

Speaker 4 (32:48):
Because I need to stretch before everything now, and I
think maybe.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
How often do you think Bruce Lee... Daily. Oh, Yang?

Speaker 5 (32:57):
Just to get it out?

Speaker 2 (32:58):
Or do you think... Oh, yeah. That dragon energy, bro?
Be like water, bro. You gotta be like water. You
gotta be like water.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
I feel like he could ejaculate without even needing to.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Oh, he's for sure hands-free.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
You know, like he has such control of his body
that he could just stand there at the toilet and
it would go from pee, turn it to jizz, Back
to Pete.

Speaker 5 (33:20):
That's how much control he has.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Holy shit. Enter the dragon brother. You know, Adam. God,
you know, I was really with you. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
And I didn't think about that specifically.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
Adam's like adding kung fu noises to it. Let me think.
He's just like this.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
Do I think he could go from peeing to just... Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
And this is why I'm glad we're on Netflix. That's crazy, dude.
I think he could. That's crazy. This is exactly why
we're on Netflix. Yeah. I'm with you.

Speaker 5 (34:00):
Well, you know, because he has perfect control of his body.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Full control.

Speaker 5 (34:03):
So it makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, so he can just kind of.

Speaker 5 (34:06):
It's like.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
Cold or hot.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
Anybody who can do those pull-ups where they go up
and then they start going like this.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh, yeah. What the hell do they call those? Total
control of their body.

Speaker 5 (34:15):
Well, I can do that.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
Corn cobs? No, no, no. Do you know what I'm
talking about? Where they go all the way to the side.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
All the way.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
You don't want to be their dick. You do not
want to be their dick.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
Dude, I feel the only people that can really do
that is either you were a gymnast at some point
in your life or you just grew up in New York.

Speaker 4 (34:37):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (34:37):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
Scaffolding lifestyle. Oh, with like the scaffolding.

Speaker 5 (34:40):
Because there's just too much scaffolding around.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
So every time I'm in New York and I see
some scaffolding, I'm going to bust out a few pull-ups.
So then imagine you grow up there. And so now
you're doing pull-ups all day, every day. It becomes part
of your life. It becomes your identity as a New
Yorker to be able to jump up and just blast.

Speaker 5 (34:58):
Out a few.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
So anytime I see one of those, I'm like, I
know your hometown. You might have moved, but I know
where you're from. And this is why New Yorkers are fearless.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Because you grow up doing pull-ups on the scaffolding, and
the thing that really makes you confident.

Speaker 5 (35:13):
How do you say that word?

Speaker 2 (35:14):
He added it. Scaffolding? Is there a T in there?

Speaker 5 (35:17):
No, there isn't.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
Scaffolding? Yeah, I think it's scaffoldine, right?

Speaker 5 (35:22):
Hey, Anders, I fucking got you, dude.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Right. I'm not crying. Stupid dumbass. I'm not crying. You
fucking moron. You lose, scaffoldine. But what makes these dudes
so tough on the scaffolding is.
They for sure get pantsed by their homies while they're
up there.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
But the rule is if you get pants, you still
got to do five.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
Yeah, let it ride. You can't finish. That's why they're
so brave out there. They're so brazen.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
Dude, one of my favorite things that just pop up
in my feed that my algorithm feeds me is the
guy that's like, hey, you look like you work out.
Do you mind telling me what you do for a workout?
And it's always just like body by mark. the most
vascular 50-year-old guy, and he's like, actually, I don't drink,
first and foremost.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
Stuncade!

Speaker 5 (36:12):
And they're like, okay, well, that fucking sucks.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
Stop hating. Then it don't count. It don't count.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
But then they always will jump up and blast out
10 to 15 pull-ups.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Bad form. And you're like, look at him go.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
And they're in their like full work attire and their
wife is, or a girlfriend is standing there kind of
looking proud, but also a little embarrassed that, that he's
willing to drop everything. If one man compliments him on
the street with a iPhone.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
Now, do you feel like it's real?

Speaker 4 (36:39):
Because I feel like that's such a common interview style
now and they're becoming more and more fake where it's like, oh,
I'm just stopping you on the street.

Speaker 3 (36:46):
Well, the fake one is, hey, do you mind showing
us your apartment right now? And they go, my apartment
right now, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Oh, hey, sure, stranger.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
Who would do that? No, but the thing is culture
knows these things now. And so now it's not weird anymore.
And that's why I'm going to start murdering.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
People by going, can I see your apartment? Loose but whole. Yeah,
that'll actually probably work a couple of times. But do
it for sure. For a thousand times in a week. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (37:15):
No, that's our horror movie that we're going to write.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
Hey, can you show me your apartment? Adam, you write
page one. I'll write page two. We are three serial
killers that come together.

Speaker 4 (37:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
And with our powers combined and we're influencers and we
keep asking, we keep asking to see.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
You do the first page.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
I'll do two through 99.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Okay. And you got a deal.

Speaker 5 (37:37):
All right.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
And no AI. No AI? Oh, darn it. Dang, it
was going to be so good.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Whenever that guy, whenever that guy interviews the like 40
to 50 to 60 year olds and they just straight
up are like peptides.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
I always go, yes, exactly. Thank God.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
Cause if they're that jacked and they're in their forties
and fifties, I'm always like, God damn it.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
Don't say hard work. Don't say don't drink. Please tell
me there's a shortcut.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
Well, they, they do all say don't drink. That is the,
one of the main, the main things.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (38:12):
To me, that doesn't count. If you're, if, if you
don't drink in your buff, that's like that standard issue.
You gotta be buff and drink. Then you're fucking right.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
Like who?

Speaker 4 (38:22):
Like every pro wrestler back in the day.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (38:28):
But every pro wrestler back in the day.

Speaker 3 (38:31):
I just watched the Hogan documentary. They don't look how
the wrestlers look today.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
No.

Speaker 3 (38:37):
It's a totally different. Like they were big men. And
they were strong and had muscles. But they weren't as
absolutely shredded as the guys today.

Speaker 5 (38:47):
Because the wrestlers today.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (38:50):
Our pussies.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Oh, shit. I was intoxicated. Who don't drink, dude?

Speaker 5 (38:55):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
Adam's throwing his.

Speaker 4 (38:58):
Hat in there.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Yeah, he's going to be in the Royal Rumble. Listen
to me, you bitch. Was Rick Rude? Is it Rick
Rude who had the bod?

Speaker 1 (39:08):
Yeah, Rick Rude was actually shredded. Rick Rude was the
first diced guy. And then the narcissist, Lex Luger. Show
me a photo of Rick Rude.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
You're going to love Rick Rude.

Speaker 4 (39:17):
He would always wear his opponent's face on his ass.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
Oh, he was so good.

Speaker 5 (39:22):
Wait, what?

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Yeah, his pant game was strong. His tights. Rick Rude
had a body ahead of his time. Yeah, he was slick.
from frickin' marble, dude.

Speaker 4 (39:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
Adam needs a minute.

Speaker 5 (39:33):
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy didn't drink.

Speaker 2 (39:36):
I promise.

Speaker 5 (39:37):
This guy did not drink.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Let's find out. I bet he had a dirty martini
here and there.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
Well, yeah, on his cheat day, you could have a
martini or two, but I mean, on a regular.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Rick Rude was absolutely stacked. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (39:52):
Yeah, this guy's... I want.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
To say Lex Luthor was it. He fought Ultimate Warrior.
Lex Luger, dude.

Speaker 4 (40:01):
Luger.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
The total package, of course. I'm pissed now. I'm pissed now.
I'm pissed now!

Speaker 4 (40:06):
Well, he was like... Yeah, he was even like... He
had more mass to him. But Rick Rude was just like...
Was just defined.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
I want that rude body. Well, then explain to me
why Hogan was....

Speaker 5 (40:19):
The top dog because when you watch, I will just.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
Watch six, seven and you knew how to talk, but.

Speaker 5 (40:24):
He wasn't that tall. He was not six.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
He was listed at six, seven. He's pretty big guy.
He was pretty tall. Okay.

Speaker 5 (40:30):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
I think, I think he was six, Yeah, he was
said to be 6'7. That's huge. He might have been 6'7.
And by the way, he had it. He was the
first brother. He was the first Hulkamania. He was good.
He knew what he was doing, dude.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
He said brother before anybody else said brother. We say
brother because Hogan said brother.

Speaker 5 (40:52):
Yeah, that's right, brother.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Wrestlers before Hulk Hogan were less... good at the talking
and like the the branding he ripped his shirt off
he body slammed andre the giant.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
That put him on the map.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
That's that'll do it i i get it but but
but looking at ravishing rick rude why wasn't he he's
ravishing he's ravishing rick rude he didn't speak much he
yeah he didn't talk much he was he was he
let the body do the talking yeah well you also
have to let the talk and do the.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Talking and that body's chit-chatting i tell you.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
Died at 40 from heart failure Yeah, he did.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Might have been drinking. Might have been drinking. He was
a partier, bro.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
Accidental overdose of prescription medication. So that's what they do.
They might not drink, but they're fucked up.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
They're taking the pills. Dude, tons of pills. Oh, wait.
I'm reading it a little clear. It says Z-Quil. Weird, huh? Oh,
my God. Anyway. Holy shit. It's neither here nor... Shut up, bitch!
Nor there. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (41:51):
No, the one thing I do remember about Rick Root
is when he would fight Ultimate Warrior or whatever... there'd be, like,
cage matches, and when he'd be climbing out, they'd always, like,
pull his pants down, and he'd choke his.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Butt in ring, and it really stuck with me.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
Ladies and gentlemen, the one thing Blake remembers.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
We don't even set him up. We don't even knock
him down. He sets himself up. It's like public nudity.
I remember being, like, kind of shocked that they could
get away with that. I'm like, what? Almost like your
heart stopped.

Speaker 4 (42:26):
It was like, my God. Two men in a cage
and one has his ass out?

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Holy smokes. We got to meet this AI character. We
got to meet this AI character. This rocks, dude.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
Well, so what would that AI character, because it's, is
it an amalgamation of the three of us? So it's a,
it's a closeted, closeted, maybe serial killer.

Speaker 5 (42:51):
Fuck it.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Who's absolutely jacked and has huge muscles. What's the deal? Yeah.
I didn't know you were closeted, Adam.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Come on, now. Oh, I see which I did there. Yeah, Adam.

Speaker 4 (43:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's tight. That's right.

Speaker 4 (43:08):
Yeah. I don't feel like it would be that hard
to write the one sentence of what our AI dude
would be.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
It's pretty easy. Then do it. Adam just did it.
What would you say it is then? Yeah. Oh, I
got it.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
It's someone who can not talk when they're asked to,
an asshole, and then a jack ripped guy.

Speaker 2 (43:29):
Mixed with jizz. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So, Blake,
what would it be? It's your turn to talk. A jizz-addled.

Speaker 4 (43:38):
Alpha bitch with supreme skills with a machete.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
That's easy, baby. Yeah, flows like water. Be like water. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Damn.
Jeet Kune Do. Give me back my son! Ooh, nice.
That's new. That was the catacomb.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
That's what I say after every one of my kids'
soccer practices. I look at the coach and I go,
Give me back my son!

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Do you understand? He's mine.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
Damn.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
You remember what that was from? Of course. Trailer moment. Ransom.
Come on.

Speaker 5 (44:12):
Come on.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
So should I be worried?

Speaker 5 (44:21):
My son, he's going to preschool.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
He went to his first day of preschool yesterday.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
Indoctrinated. Give me back my son!

Speaker 5 (44:29):
Two days ago now. He's there again today.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Yeah, you should be very worried.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
Well, he comes home after the first day, and I
said something, and he goes, Oh, no, Daddy, that's evil.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
Oh, shit.

Speaker 5 (44:41):
And I'm like, evil?

Speaker 2 (44:42):
He heard evil at school.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
And I think because it's a Christian school, like it's
a saint.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Whoa. I thought it was going to be a kid's name.
That's evil. I'm talking about my friend Evil. Satan? Yeah,
we named him after Evel Knievel. Are they teaching him
good and evil already? I don't know. You're saying day
one and he's already passing judgment? I'm like, that's a bold... Yeah,
he was like, that's evil. When you say it's a
Christian school... Is it at a church? It's a preschool

(45:10):
at a church. Or is it? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 5 (45:12):
So it's not at a basement, but it's, yeah, it's
a night, night setup, but I.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Was in the church basement for one year.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Well, of course you were.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
So was I.

Speaker 5 (45:19):
So was I for many years.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
What?

Speaker 4 (45:21):
You guys were, Your churches had basements? That's so scary.
That's like where bad things— Well, that's just the Midwest.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
This is the Midwest. It's just the Midwest where all
the making out happened.

Speaker 5 (45:30):
It's just the Midwest. It's not scary. No, that's some Dahmer.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
It's actually sick, dude. That's some Dahmer shit, bro.

Speaker 5 (45:35):
Yeah, it is.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
He's from Wisconsin.

Speaker 5 (45:37):
Well, as a Californian, you don't understand basements.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
I've gathered through talking to you guys. And I'll go
on record again. There's basements, and then below basements is.

Speaker 5 (45:47):
Where it's— Yeah, that's what Dursley likes.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
The hidden doors underneath the basement where you can't hear screams.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Somebody help me! It's like an escape room almost.

Speaker 3 (45:59):
He also told me the teacher was like, yeah, so
a kid pushed Bo.

Speaker 5 (46:05):
What the hell?

Speaker 2 (46:06):
Day one?

Speaker 5 (46:07):
Day one. Yeah, this is how it goes.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
I get it. It's preschool.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
And Bo goes, I don't like that. And I'm like, oh,
look at him go. Yeah, stand up for himself. But
he didn't push back, which I was.

Speaker 2 (46:19):
Sort of proud, a little proud about.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
But I also was like, you know, if he comes
at you, you come twice as hard.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
You know what you sent him back armed with? I
wish you would.

Speaker 5 (46:30):
Like, that's... Oh, I wish you would. I'm going to
teach him that. I'm going to teach him that.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
He's at the age now that you can teach him
little phrases.

Speaker 5 (46:40):
So I'm going to teach him I wish you would.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
Say I won't is a strong one. Wait, you recently
watched My Brother and Me.

Speaker 4 (46:47):
Did you see the episode where he has a bully
and he goes, hit me, hit me.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
I did not see that. I watched the first two.
What is My Brother and Me? What is this? It
was a 90s.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
I subscribe to a streaming service called The Brick. Which
is just basically black shows from yesteryear. And then a
couple little white shows sprinkled in.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
Okay. House Guest. But that's got Sinbad. Sign me up.
So anyway. Sign me up. Okay. They have My Brother
and Me, which is a Nickelodeon show.

Speaker 4 (47:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
It was like Lagoo and Alfie. This one's not clocking.

Speaker 5 (47:24):
We just taught Bo clocking. It's not clocking to me.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
You gotta run My Brother and Me back. It's a
great show. It's great.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
My kids were glued. And it's such a slice of
90s slang. And just the whole wardrobe situation is on point.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
It's awesome. And no, I did not see that episode.
It's really good. The bully episode. Have all your kids
watch it because it's good. It resonates. Goo is a
comedy genius. Yeah, Goo is. I hope he's still with us.
But tell me about your son, Beau. Boo's out there.
Boo's out there for sure.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
No, he goes, they're like, yeah, so this kid pushed
him and, you know, he handled it.

Speaker 5 (48:06):
It was squashed right away. And we're like, okay, great.
And then I come home and I go, Boo, did
a kid push you today? And he goes, yeah. And
I cried. And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, buddy.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
You what?

Speaker 3 (48:17):
And he goes, I go, and I go, so, you know,
the kid pushed you? And he goes, yeah, all the
kids pushed me.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
And I'm like, what?

Speaker 1 (48:25):
What?

Speaker 3 (48:25):
And he goes, and hit me. And I go, what?
And I go, well, what about the teacher? And then
he goes, what teacher?

Speaker 4 (48:33):
Like, dude, what the fuck kind of preschool are.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
We sending him to?

Speaker 1 (48:40):
She's evil. She's evil.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
And so it began.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
What teacher?

Speaker 5 (48:42):
She's evil.

Speaker 2 (48:45):
Meanwhile, nicest.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
Nicest like little 24 year old you would think man
cover your ass Bo's telling a different story what the
hell everybody's just fucking dogpiling him well by the way
was very excited to go again today he's like school
so I'm like it couldn't have been that.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
Bad yeah it's an adrenaline rush yeah he's fighting for
his life abuse is a tough cycle to get out of.

Speaker 3 (49:08):
Dude but his comic delivery of what teacher was so
perfect he was like what teacher yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
And then you say, you want to call that a teacher?

Speaker 1 (49:17):
You will call that a teacher this here and that
there a teacher.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
That ain't a teacher she ain't teaching me shit.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Give me back my top what other do you have
any more mel gibson on there or is that no
i know that's your guy you have like.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Not at all I mean, he's made good films, but
he's a terrible human.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
I'm trying to remember who you have tattooed. Like, Paul
Walter Hauser has all those comedians tattooed. And I think
on your chest, it's Mel Gibson.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
Right. Harvey Weinstein. Harvey Weinstein. It just says Mel, Harvey.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
I'm trying to remember who else is evil.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Who else? Who else? Hulk Hogan.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
Hogan. You got the Hogan tattoo like right after that
racist video.

Speaker 4 (50:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
The racist pornographic video came out. That's when that's when
you're it really solidified your.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
That that absolutely. By the way, that was absolutely crushing.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:16):
To see my hero fucking just become a fucking total douchebag.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
Well, watch the documentary. The poor guy has a dark turn.
And when he he cheated on his wife and then
they got the divorce. And then his wife, my God,
she would take his boat.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
The Thunder, Night Thunder or whatever? Yeah, the Thunder or
whatever it was called. Oh, yeah, because he's a Tampa resident.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
Yes, and would drive it past his condo full speed
and just rev it down in the marina below. So
he would look out and see his wife making out
with a 19-year-old guy that looks.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
very similar to Hulk Hogan.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
Well, I'm like, that is just going to, that is
what turned him into a true villain right there.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
That's where he's like, I'm going full MAGA.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
You know, what's funny, like you think that's going to
crush you, but if you truly look at it from like.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
A bird's eye view, you can imagine it. That is
a bro. That is a broken woman. You could just go, Oh, wow.
This woman is out of her mind. She lost it.
So like, So you're good. I'm sure.

Speaker 4 (51:28):
I mean, we all watched Hogan Knows Best. They were
all feeding into the crazy. Never missed an episode if
that's what those were.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
Yeah. They were a unique family for sure. Oh, this
was the reality show.

Speaker 4 (51:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
You ever watch Hogan Knows Best? I think I did.
I feel like I only watched maybe three or four.
I think I thought Brooke Hogan had it. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (51:47):
I was like, there's no way she's not going to
be a giant pop star.

Speaker 2 (51:50):
Yes, Brooke. Come on. Go off, queen. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:55):
I feel like you and Kyle were a little more
into Hogan knows best than I was.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
We were deep, bro.

Speaker 4 (52:02):
That's why it was absolutely shattering for me for Hogan
to turn out to be a fucking kind of a scumbag.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
It really cut my legs out. Yeah, you didn't see
that coming at all.

Speaker 4 (52:13):
No, man. I was ignorant to the fact. I thought
his heel turn was just in the ring.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Too bad.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
No.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
It's too bad.

Speaker 5 (52:20):
It's real.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
And have we seen better facial hair on a person?

Speaker 1 (52:22):
No.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
I mean, no.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
He had a black beard, but the mustache down like
this stayed gold and.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Blonde, right? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 (52:31):
Is that what it was?

Speaker 4 (52:32):
Yeah, it was blonde over the spray-painted black beard.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
And then a skullet on top.

Speaker 1 (52:38):
Is there a better representation of facial hair? Like a
more recognizable... anybody doing it better.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
I mean, there's more recognizable, but... Don't say Hitler. Weird
Hitler mustache.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
No one's gonna say that. I would have said when
Michael Jordan did the Hitler mustache. That's what I would
have said.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
Yeah, but he did it up top and bottom.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
Right.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
Oh, Jordan did? Yeah.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
The iconic facial hairs are like No, I don't think so,
because I'm like, I just keep going to Sam Elliott,
but he just kind of has like a really nice mustache.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Yeah, a push broom, sure. Tom Selleck had a killer stache. Selleck, Selleck.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
It does go Selleck, but like unreal facial hair.

Speaker 5 (53:20):
Yeah, I would say my favorite facial hair is Anders Holm.
I'll say it.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
Bring it back. At what stage?

Speaker 3 (53:28):
I thought your mustache, when it's full frontal and it
is so dusty looking, it ages you so dramatically.

Speaker 2 (53:38):
69, dude!

Speaker 3 (53:39):
And I like looking over at you and being like,
he is the oldest person I know.

Speaker 5 (53:44):
I just like that feeling.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
Is that why you would help me up? Yeah, I
was always helping you out.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
I had a mustache and Adam was like, we're going
to leave here.

Speaker 5 (53:51):
I'd be like, I would pull out your chair. I'd
open a door for you.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
He would help you walk across the street.

Speaker 5 (53:59):
And then I would say, hey, do we have a
table next to the bathroom? He has to get up
and use the restroom quite a bit.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (54:04):
Is there a table near?

Speaker 2 (54:06):
And every time I said I just finished a workout,
you'd always say, good for you. Still doing it. Good
for you. Oh, good for you. Good for you, man.
Good for you.

Speaker 5 (54:13):
How many steps you get in today?

Speaker 2 (54:14):
Unbelievable.

Speaker 5 (54:15):
How many steps?

Speaker 2 (54:16):
I can't wait. 4,000. I can't wait to just start shuffling.

Speaker 5 (54:21):
Oh, man.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
Oh, dude, my dad's a bit of a shuffler now.
I'm like, dude, pick them feet up. We can't be there.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
Come on.

Speaker 5 (54:30):
We can't be there. Let's go.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
Let's go. Come on.

Speaker 5 (54:34):
Because when he thinks about it, he won't do it.
He won't shuffle. But just left to his own devices,
he's every day I'm shuffling.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Kumbaya. Hey, you know what? Get that shirt made, dude.

Speaker 5 (54:47):
Yes, points.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
That's kind of tight. I get it, though.

Speaker 4 (54:51):
Now that I have all my Achilles tendonitis and these
heel spurs, sometimes a good old shuffle feels good, man.

Speaker 3 (54:57):
Spurs.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
You know what?

Speaker 3 (54:59):
It feels good in the house. Out of the house,
it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good out of
the house. But in the house, when you're just shuffling
from the kitchen, just shuffling with a little snack to
get to the couch, shuffle, shuffle.

Speaker 4 (55:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
How do you guys feel going downstairs in the morning? Oh, God, man.

Speaker 5 (55:15):
I feel pretty confident on the stairs in the morning.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
Oh, it's not good. You using the railing?

Speaker 5 (55:20):
Oh, yeah. Without a doubt.

Speaker 3 (55:23):
I don't think I've, it's been, it's been a decade
since I've walked up and down stairs without actively.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
Holding on to the railing. Yeah. The gravity, the pull,
the pull. He got to lift that ass down some stairs, bro.
He's holding the rail.

Speaker 5 (55:38):
Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
You're not wrong.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 (55:41):
No, the stairs in the morning are the test of
how the whole day is going to go for me.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
God damn. My feet, my legs are like fine, but
my feet are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
They're like getting feeling back. If I wake up and
quickly go downstairs in a hurry, my legs are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey.

Speaker 4 (55:57):
What would cause you to really run down the stairs
like it's Christmas?

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Yeah, what makes you do a brisk? Yeah, what gives
you bounce in your step in the morning? Oversleeping?

Speaker 1 (56:08):
Like if my kids are about to go to school
and I got to go take them and I've slept,
I've like overslept or whatever. And I know I can
hear them like rummaging downstairs.

Speaker 5 (56:16):
Your wife lets you do that? That's sick, dude. You
lucky duck.

Speaker 3 (56:19):
Dang.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
That's really nice.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
Well, what I told you, when we get in bed,
first of all, I'm in bed when she's in bed
as opposed to like 10 years ago, I would just
be watching TV till one in the morning.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
Then I would just start waiting in bed naked. So
now I'm in bed. She falls asleep right away. I
need another hour to wind down probably. So what do
you do in this bed for an hour? I'm on
my iPad. Okie dokie.

Speaker 5 (56:45):
So you're up on the iPad?

Speaker 1 (56:46):
Yeah, for like a half hour. And then I, this
is the ultimate upgrade. This is how I know I've
made it, gentlemen.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
I am YouTube premium or whatever. So like I pay
for YouTube. Which means not only do you have no commercials.

Speaker 5 (57:00):
Must be nice.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
But if you close your iPad, it still plays.

Speaker 5 (57:04):
Why is that cool?

Speaker 2 (57:05):
Netflix doesn't even have commercials, though. But yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
So that I can like turn on, I can stack
up like four videos that I'm just listening to, close it,
put it on the side of the bed, and just
go to sleep with one AirPod in, and then I'll
pass out.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
That's lunacy.

Speaker 5 (57:19):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
You fall asleep to YouTube videos? Yeah.

Speaker 5 (57:23):
Oh, AI is going to fucking kill you first.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
Oh, you're done. Who said that? AI is killing you first, dude.
You're done, bro. It knows too much about you.

Speaker 4 (57:33):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
No, no, no.

Speaker 4 (57:34):
You're getting programmed at night. It knows when you're asleep
and it switches to a different video.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
That is mine.

Speaker 5 (57:39):
It knows when you are sleeping.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
Here's what's crazy.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
It's almost always videos I've already watched or seen or
listened to.

Speaker 3 (57:48):
Yeah, isn't it crazy when you kind of thumb through
the internet when you're looking at your feed? I feel
like every third video I've seen before, is it just
showing me again because it knows I like it?

Speaker 5 (57:58):
Or are we running out of hot content?

Speaker 2 (58:01):
Yeah, we got to be out. I don't think anyone's
making anything anymore.

Speaker 5 (58:04):
Well, they're not making any of the good shit. No,
it's getting slim.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
It's slim. That's true. The good shit was from like 24.
2024 was the year.

Speaker 3 (58:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
That was really good shit. We sound like sophomores in
high school now. That was the jump off, dude. Seventh
grade was hitters. Okie dokie.

Speaker 4 (58:20):
Who were the two bros that, I don't even know
their names. The one guy had a beard and the
other guy wears glasses.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
The Nystat brothers. No, it's like Leonard and... Good Mythical Morning? Yes,
those are the bros. They were making some killer content.
Are we talking about Link and Rhett? Yes, yes!

Speaker 4 (58:37):
My boys, bro.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
Can we talk about this for one moment? My boys.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Their looks are so dialed in.

Speaker 3 (58:46):
That's what I'm talking about. They've been doing it for
a long... We don't even like.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
I mean.

Speaker 5 (58:51):
Look, what are we doing?

Speaker 4 (58:52):
Dude.

Speaker 5 (58:53):
That hat has seen better days. I didn't even, I
just like rolled up.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
I didn't think I was, I had any juice. I
go put on fun sunglasses.

Speaker 4 (59:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (59:01):
I'm glad I would. That inspired me to put on
my sunglasses.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
Good, good. But dude, they have such haircuts.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
Blake's wearing pretend to make-believe glasses so he can look cool.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
You know how people have a look like Karl Lagerfeld
always wore the black stuff with the... People just have
a specific outfit they never change out of.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
When do we do that? Because Rink and Lett have
done it Is that their names?

Speaker 5 (59:30):
We should have done it.

Speaker 2 (59:31):
Wrinkle, Lead and Link. Scaffolding.

Speaker 5 (59:32):
Yeah, I think we're right. I think we're right.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
I think it's Link.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
He's got like, he has like rich dude glasses and
like crazy perfect hair. And then the other guy goes
the other direction with like, I think he's got a ponytail.
But the beard is like oiled.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
It's maintained.

Speaker 5 (59:49):
It's maintained. It's maintained.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
I think they are infinitely more rich than we are.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Oh, yeah, they surpassed.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
I know, but you guys don't remember this. We did
a panel with them, or maybe I did it. Maybe
it was just me.

Speaker 5 (01:00:03):
I don't remember doing it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
Okay, I did a panel.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
With them because this woman who worked at a production
company that I worked with hit me up after Workaholics,
and she's like, I work at Google now, and I'm
having content creators on, and you made the launch from
YouTube to TV, so you can talk about that. And
I sat down and Link and Rhett were there too
and some other woman and some other guy, like the

(01:00:28):
shoes guy maybe.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
I don't fucking know.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
Shoes. But the rink and let dudes, Link and Rhett,
they start going into analytics and like the businessness of
all their stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
Like, well, we like to.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
we saw this market, we made videos, we realized that
they needed to be this and that long. And we
know that the, the, the thumbnail is very important.

Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
So we started using reds and greens. And if you
use blues or oranges, you're never going to get a watch.
And I was like, and then she was like, what'd
you guys do? I go, nothing. We, uh, nothing.

Speaker 4 (01:00:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:57):
We couldn't even be bothered to respond to emails when
Comedy Central emailed us.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
We made videos. We liked. Yeah. About being good.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
That's what we did. We were like, what else, what else,
what else? That's it, Bang Boss?

Speaker 5 (01:01:14):
Guitar Hero?

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
You know what? We're so fortunate.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
We're so fortunate that someone found us and then we
were able to get a show.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
Crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
Because now, you have to be good at the business
because there's way less opportunities to actually have a television
show if you're not a known person.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
But you know what? No one wants a TV show.
It's so much work.

Speaker 5 (01:01:40):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
That I'm like, as I try and put together like
a show and I'm like, oh, who would I cast here?
I go, that person's super funny. And I'm like, but
the famous story is Cat Williams. They wanted him to
be the Aziz character on Parks and Rec. Whoa.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
They wrote it for him. AI that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
And they told Cat how much he was going to
be making and how much he was going.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
To be working. And he was like, no, thank you.
I'm good.

Speaker 4 (01:02:07):
Yeah, like.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
You're telling me I'm going to work six months and
get paid X when I can make that in six hours.

Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
On the road? He was absolutely crushing on the road
right then.

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
So now it's like almost, not almost everybody, but so
many people have a following that you find on Instagram
or wherever that they're like, I'm already making X. I
can go do stand-up just doing these characters and get
paid X there. Why would I work for 12 hours
on a set? I didn't even grow up watching TV.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
Yeah, I remember talking with Theo Vaughn, and he was like,
he had just got done shooting his movie Busboys with Spade,
and I was like, how do you like it, dude?
And he was like, how do you like it? And
I'm like, I love being on set. Like, being on
set is my, I love it. It's my favorite thing.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
Adam has LeBron James handshakes with everybody on the crew.

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
I come alive. Calls everybody big dog. He's at the
catering table. But no, I do.

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
I really enjoy everyone working together to make a thing.

Speaker 5 (01:03:16):
It's the sense of community. I really enjoy it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
Yeah, you become a little family. It's dope.

Speaker 5 (01:03:22):
And he was like, oh, I hated it. He was like,
it was so much work. I hated it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
It's a lot. People get really upset about all the
like waiting around too. It's just like.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Sebastian Maniscalco on our, I don't know, what's it called?

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
About my father. Yeah. I was like, are you ever
going to do this again?

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
Because like we're just sitting there like twiddling our thumbs
on our phone.

Speaker 2 (01:03:44):
He was like, you know. Yeah. It's a lot. It's
a lot. And I go, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
And then he's like on the weekends flying to stadiums
to do. And then he'd come back and I'm like.
And he's like.

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
I made what I made this weekend on this movie.

Speaker 4 (01:03:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
Crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:04:01):
Yeah. I get it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
Well, boys, are there any take backs, any apologies, any epics?
I feel like we really stood on business today. Yeah,
I was going to say that.

Speaker 3 (01:04:14):
Well, I would actually like to apologize to AI because
it's listening.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Okay. It's listening.

Speaker 3 (01:04:21):
Say it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (01:04:23):
And I just want you to know I think you
guys are one of the good ones and I don't
think you're going to do anything bad to humanity. And
I just, I'm going to have to trust that and
believe that because I am not the guy to fix it. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Right now, Adam is being the people who have Jewish
people in the basement and the Nazis show up and
he's like.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
I don't know where they are. And even if I did,
I wouldn't tell you.

Speaker 5 (01:04:46):
I don't know if that's an exact.

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
They're in the walls.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
I don't think that's exactly what I'm doing. They're definitely
not behind that painting. There's not a door behind that painting.
This is not a loose floorboard.

Speaker 5 (01:04:58):
I don't think that's what I'm doing exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
You guys hungry? But yes... AI, you guys rock. Keep
doing what you're doing. Unless it involves... You guys look
like you could use some schnitzel. Have a seat.

Speaker 5 (01:05:09):
Unless it involves ending humanity. In which case, please don't
do that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
You're against it.

Speaker 5 (01:05:14):
I am against it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
Goodbye. I think it's going to happen. Yeah, you might
not be wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
It sucks we have young kids because then they're going
to have to... And then imagine the end of the world.

Speaker 5 (01:05:25):
And then you got to figure out what snacks they want.

Speaker 3 (01:05:28):
God. And it's the end of the world. And you're like, dude,
we don't have that snack. It's the end of the world.

Speaker 4 (01:05:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
There's no snacks, dude. There's no snack.

Speaker 5 (01:05:36):
We're done with snacks. This snack time is over, buddy.

Speaker 2 (01:05:40):
You want a snack? One just ran right by you.

Speaker 4 (01:05:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:05:43):
We'll have a step on that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:44):
Let's eat it. Here's the machete. Go on and get it, dude.
That's machete that he's really good with. Go on, get it.

Speaker 5 (01:05:52):
I have a, we have an announcement here.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
Blake, read it. Oh, read it.

Speaker 5 (01:05:55):
Where, where, where, where? In the chat.

Speaker 2 (01:05:57):
Read it. I still don't know how to work the chat.
I haven't opened the chat. That's pretty easy.

Speaker 4 (01:06:01):
This is Important Podcast at OLG Stage at Fallsview Casino, Friday,
September 25th, 2026, 8 p.m.

Speaker 2 (01:06:12):
That's Niagara Falls, Ontario. I know we're going to see
you there.

Speaker 4 (01:06:16):
These daddies haven't been out on the stage in a while,
and we're ready to come.

Speaker 2 (01:06:21):
Rock with you.

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
That's only in a couple weeks. That's coming up, dude.
I didn't even know.

Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
It was like that. If you're sitting around waiting to
get your tickets, now is the time. Swoop them. Because
we're coming. We're coming.

Speaker 3 (01:06:36):
We're coming. What?

Speaker 2 (01:06:37):
Literally, we're literally going.

Speaker 4 (01:06:39):
We're going.

Speaker 5 (01:06:39):
We're going there.

Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
I'm going to come.

Speaker 5 (01:06:41):
I don't think we're coming, but we're going.

Speaker 4 (01:06:43):
And I'm hoping we get to have a little moment
together where we go check out the falls together.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
Sounds kind of... Kind of cool.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (01:06:50):
I hope we get to do a lot of fun stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:06:51):
It's also a casino.

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
So I like, I like we, none of us are
gamblers and then we'll take like $ 200 and then lose
that pretty quickly and then be like, well, what do
we do now?

Speaker 2 (01:07:03):
So I'm hoping, you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
Know, the ultimate gamble going over the falls in a barrel.

Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
Oh, but I might be a big gambler.

Speaker 5 (01:07:12):
At the Fallsview Casino. Yeah. It seems like a great
place to be.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
A big gambler. To spend money. You know what would
be really good?

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
If you guys both got into two, like, giant die, like, dice.

Speaker 2 (01:07:24):
Okay. And then that went over as a big promotion.

Speaker 5 (01:07:27):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
And then I dress up like the.

Speaker 5 (01:07:29):
Oh, for Fallsview Casino, Friday, September 25th.

Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
I dress up like the guy who's, like, rolling the dice.
You guys go over. Okay.

Speaker 5 (01:07:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:07:37):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:07:37):
I feel like that could be great. I'd probably sell
some tickets. Honestly, don't.

Speaker 3 (01:07:42):
I hate that plan, yeah. So Niagara Falls, Ontario. You know,
I always wanted to go to Niagara Falls, and here
we are.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Me too. I can't believe it. I can't believe this
is our job.

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
Look, the podcast is taking us places where we've always
wanted to go.

Speaker 5 (01:07:58):
Niagara Falls.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
Let's take an engagement photo.

Speaker 5 (01:08:00):
Dude, imagine the merch we're going to buy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
Oh, baby.

Speaker 4 (01:08:04):
Oh, baby.

Speaker 5 (01:08:05):
We get matching Hawaiian Niagara Falls t-shirts.

Speaker 4 (01:08:08):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (01:08:09):
Or shirts. Do they do that?

Speaker 5 (01:08:11):
They have to.

Speaker 2 (01:08:11):
Or maybe hockey jerseys.

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
And I got an automatic take back right here. I'm
sorry I even questioned that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:17):
They have to. Come on.

Speaker 3 (01:08:18):
All right.

Speaker 5 (01:08:19):
That was another episode.

Speaker 3 (01:08:20):
Of This is Important.

Speaker 2 (01:08:28):
That shit's important.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Follow Us On

Hosts And Creators

Anders Holm

Kyle Newacheck

Adam Devine

Blake Anderson

Show Links

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

The Bobby Bones Show

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep 316: Don't Get Too Real