Ep 317: Stop Us If This Is Too Funny

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the
show where we only talk about what is most obviously
very crucially important.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Today on This Is Important, I've got a big fucking boner.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Garbage cans need to be fluorescent. They shouldn't be black.
They're very hard to see at night when you're on
a bike and you've had margaritas and you're also texting.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
My face went numb. And that's when I know I
was hooked, baby.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
I'm in love. Let's go.

Speaker 4 (00:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (00:46):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
And boom goes the dynamite.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
I got a big fucking boner right now. Whoa.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Whoa.

Speaker 4 (00:59):
Coming through the boulders.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Was that an old folder or was that brand spanking new?
Hit me with that again.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
I want to be on you.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
I got a big fucking boner right now. Yeah, dude.
That one's been classic.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
You understood how Adam Sandler became such a giant star.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
Yeah, that'll do it. You know?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Comedy genius.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
That'll do it. Fucking, what an absolute heat rock.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Here's my question.

Speaker 5 (01:24):
They're all going to laugh at you, that whole sketch?
Did you guys know that was like a reference from
the movie Carrie?

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Mm-mm.

Speaker 4 (01:31):
From the movie Carrie about the girl who.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
And here we are.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Oh, sure.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
They're all going to laugh at you.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
No, the mom. The mom is like, they're all going
to laugh at you. No. About prom or whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
Bruh.

Speaker 5 (01:44):
Because then I saw that and I started rolling when
I was watching Carrie.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
Lock in, Durs. You're locked in today.

Speaker 5 (01:52):
I'm green for some reason, but yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
Lock TF in. I don't think I've ever seen Carrie.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Really? Well, it's almost Halloween season upon us. You can
start chipping away at some of these classic horror films.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
Yeah, I wish I liked it more. Horror or?

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Horror.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
Like Halloween? Nah, just on purpose being scared. I know
people love it, dude.

Speaker 4 (02:18):
I don't love it.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
It is someone's lifestyle and you got to wonder what's
up there. Dude.

Speaker 4 (02:23):
Horror freaks rock.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
When people are too into it, you get concerned.

Speaker 5 (02:28):
They saw like grandpa naked at too young of an
age or something.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Something inappropriate. And they go. Your boobs are huge.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
They saw some. That's actually a great point. They saw
some skin drooping.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
And that stayed with them. And now they just want
to get that feeling back again.

Speaker 6 (02:44):
Hot, hot, hot, hot.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Well, you know, maybe it's also getting like.

Speaker 5 (02:48):
Control over that terror where they're like i'm gonna terrorize
myself by hitting play on this uh this movie here
i'm gonna buy that ticket to this film at this
theater i'm not.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Gonna have grandpa's butt cheeks scaring me awake every.

Speaker 5 (03:02):
Yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna be watching werewolves instead.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well but like like a movie like carrie or like
the classic you know halloween films they're not they're actually
not that scary now they're just kind of like.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
Cool movie No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
That's because you're old.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
No, Carrie's not scary.

Speaker 5 (03:18):
If you're 12 years old and you watch Halloween, you're
freaking out.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Halloween's just like an oddly paced movie. Like, not much happens.

Speaker 5 (03:28):
But what you're using is context for every other movie.
But if you're 10 or 12 or 11, you're like,
what the fuck? And you've only seen Frozen 35 times?

Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Right. Like, it's oddly paced.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
Like, Have either of you... You guys all... You guys
both have... What?

Speaker 3 (03:46):
12-year-olds?

Speaker 2 (03:47):
13?

Speaker 1 (03:47):
12?

Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yeah. Have you haunted them yet?

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Have you ruined their childhoods by showing them a.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
I'm living in a nightmare.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
It's not really the dad's job. That's an uncle's job.
I'm willing... If you guys want me to babysit, come
over here.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
You're throwing your name in the hat?

Speaker 3 (04:04):
I can terrorize them by showing them one of these
scary movies. I won't watch it with them. I'll say
it's too scary for me. It's too scary.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
I unfortunately cannot watch Carrie with you tonight. It's too
frightening for me. It's too scary for me, the adult.

Speaker 4 (04:17):
Have at it. And you know they gobble that up.

Speaker 5 (04:19):
Jaws is a coming-of-age movie in our house where I'm like, okay,
we're going to watch Jaws now. Emma threw on Jurassic
Park for our four-year-old.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
The other night.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Ooh.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
Holy moly. For the four-year-old?

Speaker 2 (04:33):
I was like, how'd that go?

Speaker 5 (04:34):
She was like, what? He liked it. And I go,
scary movie. Real, real scary. Yeah, the velociraptors?

Speaker 2 (04:41):
Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
The velociraptors are fucking scary.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
She was like, he loved it. He loved it.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
So we got one. We got a little psycho on
your hands. I had a bad time with Jurassic Park.
I saw that in theater.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
We were, what? I was in, like, fifth grade. Bro,
I had to cover my eyes the whole movie. I was, like,
crying in the theater. Full-on bitch made, bro.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
It's a scary movie. It's intense.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
Yeah, but I was the same.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Blake and I are the same age. I will admit,
I came with some.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Weak shit, and it was really embarrassing. I was in
Long Beach visiting my aunt and uncle. They were like,
let's go to Jurassic Park.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
I'm like, yeah. So what happened is your parents didn't
want you, and you were feeling.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
A little on edge.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
They were like, go stay with the aunts and uncle. Yes,
I was a raw nerve.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
It was getting heavy.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
Feeling some other kind of nerves. That wasn't Jurassic Park, dude.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
That was just your childhood. Separation, anxiety. Yeah, that's what
that was. Self-worth.

Speaker 6 (05:37):
Self-worth.

Speaker 4 (05:39):
Mm-hmm. Just, Just let us sit there.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Well, because I remember all the kids at school talking
about Jurassic Park. They're like, this is the fucking coolest movie.
And they definitely said fucking. They're like, this is the
fucking coolest movie.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Is this pre or post wheelchair for you, though, Adam?

Speaker 4 (05:52):
Yeah, when were we watching? I think it was pre.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
I think it was pre. Got it. Sorry, boy.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
Well, everybody at school is like, yeah. And, you know,
you don't want to lie and say you did because
then they're going to, like, grill you on it.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, or just don't be a liar. Yeah. Well.

Speaker 5 (06:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:06):
Sometimes you can lie. Why would you lie about seeing
the movie if you hadn't seen it?

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Because then immediately they're going to say, what about this part? Yeah, oh, dude, yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
And then you're like, oh, dude, yeah. And they're like,
that part doesn't exist. You fucking idiot.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Dude, that's the oldest trick in the book when you
give false information.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
I got caught up so bad.

Speaker 4 (06:26):
What, recently?

Speaker 2 (06:26):
I was like, no, no, no, no. Yeah, I was like, yeah,
I saw that.

Speaker 4 (06:31):
Yeah. No, sir, I don't like it.

Speaker 5 (06:33):
The Mike Tyson-Evander Holyfield fight.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
I was like, Dad, I'm going to sleep over. My
buddies were going to rent the fight.

Speaker 5 (06:39):
Instead, we just threw a huge party, and he didn't
have pay-per-view or whatever the fuck it was. So the
next morning, I called my dad. He'd be like, I'm
going to be home around whatever. And he goes, you
going to stop for some food?

Speaker 2 (06:50):
And I'm like, maybe. He's like, maybe you'll get an
ear sandwich. And I was like... Okie dokie. What? And
he goes.
You're a sandwich. You know, from the fight. And I
was like, yeah. Oh, and you're like, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then we're like, what is going on?

Speaker 5 (07:11):
Then my brother calls, Paige is my homie. And he goes,
I know you didn't watch the fucking fight.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
I call him back, 911, 911, 911.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
And he goes, fucking Mike Tyson.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
Biddy Vander Holyfield's Ear Off, FYI. And I was like.

Speaker 4 (07:27):
Dude, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Ear sandwich!

Speaker 3 (07:30):
I love Durr's telling, like, kind of an adult tale
from the before times.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
Yeah, that's really cool.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
Because you were just old enough to be doing adult stuff.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
So I mount my steed home.

Speaker 5 (07:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Oh, I better hop in the carriage before it goes.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
Well, no, you just had a little more runway... A
little bit. of adulthood and partying and things... being able
to just easily figure things out via the internet.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
This is why I call myself Gen X. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (08:00):
Because the way I operated in high school and college
was fundamentally different than how you guys did. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
We didn't know where we were or like where each
other were. Yes. I constantly would be like, where am I?
Which one of y'all kicked me?

Speaker 4 (08:14):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
You still are like that. I was always like, where
the fuck am I? This is the way. And then
I'd be like, this is good shit, guys.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
Well, I will say, I think we're doing... Our generations
did it a lot different. There was a lot more alcoholism.
Child alcoholism.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
Smoke weed every day. Because the amount of.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
We were just... My assistant, Michelle, we were at.
Our other house and we had a giant binder of
like old photos. And she was looking through all these
old photos. She's like, what is this thing? What is
this thing? Physical copies?

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Call the binder.

Speaker 4 (08:53):
So this is physical media? I guess. I guess we
could call that. We just call them pictures.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
I thought it was just like workout videos. But it
was all these.

Speaker 4 (09:01):
She's like, oh my God, is this from you from college?

Speaker 3 (09:04):
And it was just I used to take so many
photos of us partying in high school. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 (09:09):
Like, just raging. And it was just incriminating evidence just
across the board.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yeah, what were you building there, pal, just in case? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
We used to videotape ourselves getting so blackout drunk and, like,
just barfing everywhere. There's just hours of footage of children
just throwing up from drinking straight vodka.

Speaker 5 (09:31):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Goldschlager.

Speaker 4 (09:32):
And she was like, oh, I didn't. She's like, I
didn't party like that in high school.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
I don't think anyone really partied like this in high
school because it was just like mountains of beer in
the background and just like 80 kids in a.

Speaker 4 (09:43):
Basement just cross-eyed.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
Just playing with a gun.

Speaker 4 (09:47):
And that's sad, dude. That's sad.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
Because some of my fondest sort of fuzzy memories were
from those exact times.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (09:57):
And we do think that it is because everyone's being
filmed all the time that they're like, I don't want
to be filmed drunk and hammered and have everyone.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
On Monday see a video of me XYZ.

Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah, because it could just be like a story and then,
you know, on Monday they're like, oh yeah, Adam fucking
XYZ and it's just a story.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
And you got to hear the story.

Speaker 4 (10:17):
But then the actual footage, that's, That's way more.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
I'm drunk now.

Speaker 5 (10:22):
So what comes first? The insecurity or the potential for embarrassment?

Speaker 4 (10:28):
This is important. He's locked in. Bro, you're locked in.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
Jersey's locked in.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
You're like really locked in today. Holy shit.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
I'm just saying because if you're like confident or like
you don't give a fuck, you're kind of like, Yeah, man,
that was me, dude.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
I fucking barfed or like, yep, I fell off those stairs.

Speaker 5 (10:46):
Chipped my tooth, which is so hard to come by,
to lean into embarrassment, right?

Speaker 1 (10:51):
I don't think it's an insecurity.

Speaker 4 (10:53):
I think it's that what happened— You have to do this. Sorry,
let me lock in real quick. Stay locked in. It's
not the insecurity.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
It's that people just get called out for— I think
dancing is the best example of it. If you used
to go to a party, dance your fucking ass off.
But all they do is dance on— Instagram or on TikTok.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
But that's really, like, they did multiple takes. They got
it perfect.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, it's like if I filmed you, like, at a party, like,
cutting a damn rug. Like, nobody's watching, you know? And
then I film you and I'm like, look at this
freaking zany white dude. Idiot!

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (11:30):
Just busting down. Did you just call me white? Go ahead.
Zany white dude.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Then you go viral for all the wrong reasons because
people are laughing at you.

Speaker 4 (11:41):
And that's a moment.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
Dancing is a moment that you should not care.

Speaker 4 (11:46):
Dance like nobody's watching.

Speaker 5 (11:47):
And so do they put people who are fearlessly zany
on a pedestal? Because it's like, wow, look at them go.
They dance like nobody's watching and they don't give a
fuck when.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Do you know what I'm saying? Like, sure.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
I think you're building the perfect person.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
But yeah, I think most teenagers aren't that way and
do get embarrassed. And especially when it's put online and
just people across the world are making fun of you.
And then your family starts to disassociate from you.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
A little bit.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
You're ray gunned. You're fucking Rago. Because you've put a
stain on the family now. They hate you.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
And then they ship you off to your aunt and
uncle's house, and then you go see Jurassic Park and cry.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
Like a bitch, dude.

Speaker 4 (12:31):
Fuck off, man.

Speaker 5 (12:32):
And Adam, I wish I could have followed what you
were saying, but you weren't doing this with your hands.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
I'm locked in, brother. I wasn't locked in.

Speaker 4 (12:41):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
Yeah, yeah, but that's probably... It's probably true. Yeah, it's,
I don't know, man. But, and so.

Speaker 4 (12:49):
Yeah, we grew up in the right time, I think.
You know, for sure.

Speaker 5 (12:53):
Like, truly strange that they're just like, not going to drink,
not going to do drugs.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
It's fucked.

Speaker 5 (12:59):
Except for the ones who do drugs and die instantly.
They're like, I'm not going to smoke weed or drink.
I'm just going to do cocaine, which has a pretty
high risk of like fentanyl being in there.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
It's a bagel.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
Cool.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Lock it.

Speaker 4 (13:12):
But you look hot. You look hot. But they're locked in, dude.

Speaker 5 (13:15):
Sure.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
You look hot. I guess if you're, if that is
the drug, if you want to lock in, it's cocaine.

Speaker 5 (13:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (13:20):
That's what, that's the one, that's the lock-in drug. That's
the most locked-in drug on the market.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (13:26):
You could probably get more maximization.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (13:30):
I feel, I feel like they like to, what is it? Optimize.
They like to optimize. Okay. And really lock in. So
I feel like cocaine would be the drug.

Speaker 5 (13:39):
So I, are, are, Kids who are like under 10
going to lean out and go the entire different direction
and go, we don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
We're not rolling on each other. We can't, guys.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
For sure.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Let's just all fuck up. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (13:56):
I think so.

Speaker 5 (13:57):
If everyone's optimizing and then they're going to see it
actually didn't work for my eldest brother or my uncle
who's a fucking weirdo who's just always trying to optimize.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
They're like, it's not worth it.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
I feel like the internet is just going to ruin
everything and everyone, and we're all just going to be
walking around in the same clothes, saying the same words.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
And stop me if this starts to get too funny.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
It's hilarious right now. You're cracking my ass up.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Stop me if you guys can't stop laughing. Dude, the
chucks and the gigs are rolling already. This is good.
This is important.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
This is good podcasting right here. Netflix viewership off the charts.
Power outages. Yeah, and you're going to want to watch.
The fucking database of Netflix just shuts down because too
many people are viewing.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Guys, they got a hot take on the Mike Tyson
and Evander Holyfield fight over here.

Speaker 4 (14:53):
Ooh, hey, ear sandwich.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
You guys, I've got a joke.

Speaker 4 (14:57):
Okay, okay, okay. Brace yourself.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
Things always go in circles, right? Yeah.

Speaker 4 (15:03):
You're kind of whispering right now. Is that to get
us to lock in a little bit more?

Speaker 2 (15:07):
I just said the joke. No one's laughing. What? What
was the joke? What was the joke?

Speaker 5 (15:17):
I'm just maintaining that right now I refuse to be funny.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
Which by the way, for me, guys? It's hard, dude.
For you, it is hard.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
I know you're joking, but I know that it's probably
difficult for you.

Speaker 4 (15:31):
And what a time to make this decision.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
When we're trying to shut down Netflix from our fucking viewership, dude.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah, that's true. Sorry, guys.

Speaker 4 (15:41):
Let's all take oaths of silence for this pod.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
That's also good for podcasts. Dude, we're just killing it today.
This is crazy.

Speaker 4 (15:49):
Absolutely sinister.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Adam, I'm not trying to, you know, point fingers, but
step up.

Speaker 4 (15:55):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (15:56):
You know, I was being unfunny. Blake is saying, let's
just not say anything at all. And you're just kind
of here, like, actually telling jokes and not really.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
Well, I was actually trying to, like, you know, I
was just trying to get the best out of you guys.
And that's what I'm always trying to do.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:12):
I forgot.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yes, I'm always.

Speaker 4 (16:14):
You know me, the assist guy. And so I'm just,
you know, you're spiking.

Speaker 3 (16:19):
I'm just volleying it back to you for another fucking
epic spike.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
Thank you, brother. Straight man.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
Straight man.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
Thank you, bro. Thank you, brother.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
I got you.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yes. Do you remember what your first drink was?

Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
And I've told this on the podcast. I actually was just... Oh,
did you? Yeah, it was my buddy.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
He's still chasing it.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
Ryan Jonica's... grandfather's homemade Lithuanian liquor.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
And the bottle, the name on the outside.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
Of the bottle.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
It was called Creamy Head.

Speaker 4 (16:57):
Was the name of the alcohol. Oh, he likes that.

Speaker 5 (17:00):
I don't remember this story. If you say you've said
it before.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
I do not recall the Creamy Head story.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
Creamy Head.

Speaker 5 (17:07):
And Adam, I love that you're stepping up, saying things
you've said before on the podcast again.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
I am willing to. We're fucking killing it.

Speaker 4 (17:14):
Dude, I'm willing to repeat.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
I feel like we're 500 episodes in or something, 700.

Speaker 4 (17:18):
How many thousands of episodes have we done?

Speaker 2 (17:20):
I don't remember this.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (17:21):
Homemade Lithuanian. So is that like a potato-based situation? I
have no idea how they did it. It was just like—
Lithium ion battery?

Speaker 3 (17:32):
It was like the bottle that was the deepest in
his parents' liquor cabinets.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
They're not going to miss this one. They're not looking
at it.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
And they had all drank it the weekend before.

Speaker 4 (17:44):
And they came back like, we got drunk in Ryan's basement.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Clear? Yes, is it clear?

Speaker 4 (17:49):
Is it foggy? It was creamy.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
It was foggy.

Speaker 4 (17:53):
It was foggy.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Bro.

Speaker 4 (17:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
Bro.

Speaker 5 (17:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
I know.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
I know.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
And we're like, what? It looked like coconut orbits.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
This is the first alcoholic drink you had and you said,
I got to do this the rest of my life?

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Like, this is my passion?

Speaker 5 (18:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
Dude, the story is not done, dude. So they, they
drank the weekend before. Now they're like, okay, we're going
to get drunk again. This is what we're going to
do for the rest of our lives until we have
to start Mac maximizing and optimizations.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Uh, and then so they said.

Speaker 4 (18:27):
That, yeah, more or less, more or less. They said that.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
And so they handed me the bottle. They're like, you
have to be the first one to drink it because
we did it last weekend. And I'm like, this feels
like a setup, but okay. Uh, And so I'm like,
what do I do? Do I just like sip on it?
And they're like, no, you were getting drunk. So you
have to like take some drinks.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
I was joking.

Speaker 4 (18:47):
No, I know what to do. And so I just
chugged it.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Damn.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
I just like, I'm pretty good at chugging. And I
could just like, I'm drunk now. If you're not smelling it,
you don't know what you're drinking.

Speaker 4 (18:57):
So I just live by that.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
And everyone's like.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
No, no.

Speaker 8 (19:01):
No.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
No.

Speaker 4 (19:02):
Immediately, dude. We have to share it. Immediately, couldn't feel
my face. My face went numb. Damn.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
And that's when I know I was hooked, baby.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
Daddy's home. I'm in love.

Speaker 7 (19:17):
I'm in love.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
I'm in love.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
All my childhood trauma went out the window. My face
got numb.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
My face went numb.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
I think my first legal drink no not legal illegal
drink my first alcoholic drink.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
And then let's do legal that's fun for me yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
What is that uh i remember that too swinging door
bar in orange county very cool all right K-Bar.

Speaker 4 (19:47):
But my first beer was Bud Ice.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
By request, I wanted Bud Ice so goddamn bad because
I thought it was going to be, like, really cold.

Speaker 4 (19:56):
But it actually... It kind of just tastes like mold. Yeah,
it's not great.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
Butt ice is pretty bad, but it was stronger and
you felt like back then it was, you had to
get rid of this trash and you had to hide it.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
We were always maximizing.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
So yeah, we were maximizing and optimizationing. Just different.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
In a different way. Just different.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
In a different way.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
Uh, Because you had to get rid of this trash, right?
So you're like, okay, six, we'll get a six pack
of this. And as you and a buddy, we'll each
have three of these. That's less to get away, to
throw away, you know, to hide from your parents.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Damn, y'all were crunching numbers, huh?

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (20:34):
How were you hiding them?

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Like putting them in like different receptacles?

Speaker 3 (20:37):
We would literally ride our bikes and then dump it
in someone else's trash like a block.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
Or two away.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
It's classic. It's like a dude who told his wife
he's not drinking anymore. She's finding cans in the dumpster.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
What the fuck is this? Yeah, that just rolled off
the tongue for you, Blake.

Speaker 4 (20:53):
And you're drinking Ice House? That just rolled off the
tongue pretty easily for you. Blake, come out here.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Did raccoons get in the garbage again?

Speaker 4 (21:02):
Because there are bottles everywhere.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
What? This is your neighbor calling you over? Hey, Blake. Hey,
can I talk to you real quick?

Speaker 3 (21:10):
Hey, looks like the raccoons got in my garbage again.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
Huh.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
Huh.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
That's weird.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
Several bottles of alcohol seem to be placed in my.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
Again.

Speaker 4 (21:22):
Again. Typical.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
Some of them aren't open and there's a cooler in here.

Speaker 4 (21:27):
What's going on?

Speaker 5 (21:29):
Maybe they put that cooler there when they were drunk.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
That's actually still a good cooler.

Speaker 5 (21:33):
I might just take that back over to my house
and see if they come back for it.

Speaker 4 (21:38):
There's a whole damn stash here.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
These coolers are pretty expensive.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
That is funny.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
If Blake is going to his next-door neighbor's house to drink.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
On the side of that.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
And he doesn't say because he's just compiling ring cam footage.

Speaker 4 (21:58):
Hours of it. Oh, dude.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
I mean, that's the next great hidden camera show is
just ring camera footage, right?

Speaker 2 (22:08):
Oh, God.

Speaker 4 (22:09):
There has to be.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
I mean, that's their Instagram account, right?

Speaker 5 (22:12):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (22:12):
There has to be some great stuff.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
They have, like, Halloween. Send your Halloween videos.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
Bro.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
Oh, the best is when it's someone getting, like, chased
by a bear.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
The best.

Speaker 4 (22:22):
You don't understand what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (22:26):
I like the.

Speaker 5 (22:27):
One where, like, a coyote was, like, or what was it?
A guy, like, has it, and it's, like, a cat
or something, a bobcat maybe, and he's, like, shaking his arm,
and then he's just fucking, like, throws it across his
arm got tore off well it's on him yeah but
then he like throws it across the lawn.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
Yeah and he's like get in the side get in
the side yeah that was a real sick moment for
sure that was dad stepping.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
Up I haven't seen the bear one though that's pretty
funny too.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
I saw a pretty funny bear one yesterday where there
was like this old dude across the street and this
guy's yelling at him he's like dude oh Behind you.

Speaker 4 (22:58):
Behind you. And then he turns the other direction. And
he's like looking at the guy like, watch, shut the
fuck up, man. Like, what are you yelling at me for?

Speaker 2 (23:06):
And there's literally a huge black bear.

Speaker 4 (23:07):
Like, maybe.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
10 feet, 8 feet behind him. Like, very close.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
And he looks back, sees it, and he just kind
of shrugs and keeps walking.

Speaker 3 (23:18):
Well, that man was so old at that point, he's like,
what am I going to do?

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, take me.

Speaker 4 (23:24):
What can I do? If this is how I die,
it's pretty fucking cool. Honestly, if you go out, because
he seemed... late 80s, 90s.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, he was old as hell.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
He was a true old man with a, like, walker.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
He's not that old anymore.

Speaker 4 (23:37):
For my family, that's ancient.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Okay. Older. I'm saying for me.

Speaker 4 (23:42):
You know what I mean? For Jersey.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
Jersey's kids? Yeah. Goodbye.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
If that's how you go out, that's a great That's
what a fucking awesome way to go out.

Speaker 4 (23:51):
Death by bear?

Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah. Right. Just kind of watching your innards spill out.

Speaker 4 (23:56):
No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Over your pelvis. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:59):
Oh, sorry.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
Honestly.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
The bear just kind of swipes your stomach open and
it just like rolls out.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
But then you're thinking the whole.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
You're shitting yourself. Yeah. Just feeling the hot breath of
the bear on your bear lungs going.

Speaker 4 (24:11):
Well, by the way, Blake, you shit yourself regardless. You
shit yourself regardless. Not everybody shits themselves.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yes. When they die.

Speaker 5 (24:20):
100%.

Speaker 4 (24:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (24:21):
Because that's... I don't know if you've heard this. When
you die, you're like eight ounces lighter or whatever. And
they say that's a soul. But it's dookie. It's a
bunch of poo in your pants.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
That is true.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
You fully release all of your liquids.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
I think you do, but I think that happens a
little later. It's not like immediately or while you're dying.
That would suck.

Speaker 4 (24:41):
Why do you think that? What is your reasoning for
thinking that? Because the.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
Body doesn't release its fluids until later in the process.
Rigor mortis.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
I believe rigor mortis is something else.

Speaker 4 (24:55):
Rigor mortis is something totally else.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
Isn't it like stiffness of the muscles?

Speaker 4 (24:58):
And you're just saying again what you just said. That's not...
I'm pretty sure rigor mortis is.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
When you have diarrhea, like a couple days later, you're dead.
And rigor mortis is the poo that comes out. So
you think you should... Okay. I hate when Blake is
dumb on purpose.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
You like to really get them when it's real.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
That's cuter when it's real. It's more endearing. This is,
I'm like, what? Buddy, now you're just.

Speaker 5 (25:25):
He's acting like he saw the movie.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
I'm sorry, man.

Speaker 4 (25:28):
Yeah, you don't act like you saw the movie when
you didn't see the movie. I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 5 (25:31):
And to be fair, I'm guessing that it's stiffness of
the muscles because I think that's what rigor mortis is.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
I think it is.

Speaker 4 (25:38):
That is what it is.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
It's when your body stiffens. It's not the diarrhea part,
but I do believe.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
Oh, yeah, that's what it is.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
I do believe the diarrhea happens later. I've got a
big fucking boner.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
Okay, hey, I feel like in the chat, Let us
know when the diarrhea happens.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
When does the diarrhea happen?

Speaker 4 (25:56):
And it's been a while.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
Diarrhea. Diarrhea.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
And ChatGPT's not getting anything, huh?

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Son of a gun.

Speaker 4 (26:04):
The short answer is yes. The body does poop when
you die.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
Immediately?

Speaker 3 (26:08):
Most people empty their bowels when they pass away. Urine
may also be released, especially during a traumatic or frightening death.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
The bear. The bear.

Speaker 4 (26:17):
I feel like you're pissing yourself pretty hard. quickly. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
And you like that.

Speaker 3 (26:24):
Adam, you're... I wasn't saying that I like that. You guys,
Blake was saying that's... That's the way to go. If
you were to get killed by a bear, I think
personally you lived a hell of a life.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
What a bookend.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
What a way to just, oh, the last chapter of
your life. Oh, and then he was killed by a bear.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
You're like, what?

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (26:41):
Your grandpa was the fucking man.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (26:44):
He was killed by a bear. Right.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
And you think he's hiking somewhere, but he was just
like in Glendale walking down the street.

Speaker 5 (26:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
He was at a zoo.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
He was shooting BBs at bears at the zoo.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
He just jumped in the bear cage. Suicide by bear, man.
That'd be crazy.

Speaker 5 (27:01):
Blake, you live in an area where there's wild animals.
Do you look for them when you go in the
backyard at night?

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Well, there's nothing like too frightening in my neck of
the woods.

Speaker 4 (27:11):
It's like skunks. I feel like your old house was more... Oh, yeah, man.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
More nature.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
I used to see like.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
P-22, huh?

Speaker 1 (27:19):
P-22.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
P-22 is like a really famous....

Speaker 1 (27:25):
Mountain lion that used to walk the hills of Hollywood.
And it was completely unafraid of humans. And it would
show up every night just cruising. It is gigantic, dude.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
And that you would catch him on some ring of
just like people coming in with groceries and then they'd
pass and you just see this giant mountain lion yes.

Speaker 5 (27:47):
I feel like we've covered this but someone we know
who i'm not gonna name because i don't want them
getting death threats they're the reason p22s did.

Speaker 8 (27:54):
Wait what what what really someone we know we're gonna
have to remember this off pod because i don't just
say it and we'll bleep it.

Speaker 5 (28:05):
Someone we know who who wrote on workaholics um They
found P-22 in their backyard eating a raccoon just like
on their pool deck.

Speaker 8 (28:15):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
I'm remembering.

Speaker 5 (28:17):
And they just like called 911 to be like, so
I don't know what.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
I'll give you. So you're telling me there's a puma
in your backyard? That is correct.

Speaker 3 (28:29):
Right.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
Okay. I know who it is. So now you know
who it is. Okay. Got it. And so he was like,
I don't know what you guys do, but I'm just here.

Speaker 4 (28:38):
I'm calling to let you know it's here.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
And I just, I don't know what to do. And
they go, we got it from here.

Speaker 4 (28:46):
No.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
Blazed it.

Speaker 3 (28:48):
I mean, they know this dude eats raccoons and shit.
It's the fact that he was eating it in someone's backyard.

Speaker 5 (28:55):
It was just where it shouldn't have been, basically, in
a highly populated area, super dense. And they followed it,
and they were like, we can't have it here with
kids and shit.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
I do believe that towards the end, P-22 had mange
or whatever, started to go kind of insane, and there
were ring videos of.

Speaker 4 (29:16):
the mountain lion.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
Actually like grabbing people's dogs while they're walking them like
on leash. So it just started to lose its mind
a little bit and get really hungry and start just
swooping little dogs up.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (29:29):
I don't think people really.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
We know who got killed.

Speaker 8 (29:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Which was a shame.

Speaker 5 (29:33):
And then everyone came out of the woodworks because we
are so bored as a society.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
We're so desperate to just belong to something. that the
P-22 movement, people... There was a movement?

Speaker 4 (29:43):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (29:44):
I mean, of course, people are.

Speaker 5 (29:46):
Dude, when P-22 died, people, like, lost it. People, like,
showed up at, like, a vigil to be like, oh,
my God. You didn't give a fuck the day before.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
Suddenly.

Speaker 5 (29:59):
Fucking people are putting up stuff on Instagram just to
be like, I was there.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
I was part of it.

Speaker 4 (30:03):
I knew P22.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
I didn't... I mean, I liked watching the videos, but
I lived in that neighborhood. How terrifying would that be
if you came out at 1 o'clock in the morning
to get something from your car, and there's just a
mountain lion?

Speaker 2 (30:19):
I think about it every time.

Speaker 4 (30:21):
That thing was fucking huge.

Speaker 5 (30:22):
Huge.

Speaker 4 (30:23):
There's just a mountain lion behind it.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
200 pounder.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
The fact I didn't get killed, like, you know... Tebow
was my neighbor, so I would walk home at 2
in the morning, stumbling.

Speaker 4 (30:34):
Every day. I'm like, that mountain lion? You've broken bones
on that ride home.

Speaker 8 (30:39):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (30:39):
This is true. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Because garbage cans need to be fluorescent. They shouldn't be black.
That's right.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
They're blue.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
They're very hard to see at night when you're on
a bike and you have margaritas and you're also texting.

Speaker 4 (30:53):
So please.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Fair enough.

Speaker 3 (30:55):
Please.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Make the goddamn cans glow in the dark or something.

Speaker 5 (30:59):
I think the mountain lion was watching you just like
picking his teeth like, look at this motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yes, bro.

Speaker 4 (31:04):
The mountain lion was just on the side of the
hill just going, nah.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
I can't eat this fucking sad motherfucker. Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch. Oh, shit.
Somebody help me. Somebody get him.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
I should just jump in front of his ass and
make him shit himself, dude.

Speaker 4 (31:19):
That would be hilarious.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
I probably came face-to-face with him, and I just don't
even recall.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
No, people would post pictures of him, like, in their, like, vestibules.

Speaker 5 (31:32):
Like, you know how there's, like, indoor-outdoor kind of, like,
situations in California architecture? Like, people would have, like, he'd be, like,
posted up right outside their, like, kitchen door window.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
Just, like, big-ass eyeballs. And I'm like, every time I
go out, of my house like to take the garbage
out i'm like.

Speaker 5 (31:49):
Be ready how i'm going out wow be ready look
for the eyes listen feel the ground.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yeah i don't fuck with uh with wild cats we
talked about like the defense against them but they prefer
to attack from the behind they don't they don't come
right at you they they pounce on you and you
don't like that no man surprise attacks.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
No they do they do watch you for a while
before they do anything because they gotta suss you.

Speaker 4 (32:13):
Out yeah And then they wait till you turn your back.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
Fall off your bike.

Speaker 4 (32:16):
They jump on you.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
And there's like, you're too sus.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
They jump on you and they tear your lungs out.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
We have poisonous snakes down here at the beach that
have just now popped up because of the warm El
Nino waters.

Speaker 4 (32:29):
The El Nino is causing some shit to happen.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
Ocean snakes.

Speaker 4 (32:32):
Ocean snakes.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Water snakes.

Speaker 4 (32:33):
Water snakes, which— Sea snakes. Sea snakes. That's exactly right.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Are sea snakes— you' re saying they're poisonous?

Speaker 2 (32:40):
Smell snakes. Yes.

Speaker 4 (32:40):
They're, like, venomous?

Speaker 2 (32:41):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (32:42):
Oh, yeah, they are.

Speaker 4 (32:42):
And they're aggressive? I mean, if you step on one, yeah.
I don't like that.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
Because wasn't I seeing like, there was like a hammerhead
shark out there recently.

Speaker 4 (32:52):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
We've got some hammerhead spottings, which is so cool. That's
the one shark I really want to see. That's the
coolest fucking shark, dude.

Speaker 4 (32:59):
They are the coolest.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
Would you rather get eaten by a bear or a
hammerhead shark?

Speaker 4 (33:04):
Oh, that's a really good.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
I mean, a hammerhead shark, that's so specific. So that
makes it a little funnier if you're just going for
funny deaths. But getting attacked by a shark underwater and
you can't breathe on top.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
Of it, not cool.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
You can't breathe. Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
Because I feel like if you get maimed, you get mauled,
and your guts are... You at least have a few
moments to be like, quickly, let me think of my
wife and kids.

Speaker 4 (33:30):
As you're shading and pissing. You're like, quick, quick, let
me think of something.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Okay, got it.

Speaker 4 (33:35):
I feel like with the drowning, you won't even be
able to have.
You're not thinking of wife and kids.

Speaker 5 (33:41):
Because you're just going... Wife and kids, they're up there.
But before that is just seven moments of air.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
I need air. Gotta have air. Gotta have air. I
don't have air.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
Don't have air. I'm going to die. Is there enough
time to think wife, kids?

Speaker 2 (33:54):
Wife, kids, kids, kids. Somebody help me!

Speaker 4 (33:57):
Is it enough time to quickly think of wife and
kids and parents?

Speaker 7 (34:01):
No.

Speaker 5 (34:01):
I think it's after you like ingest the water and
you're like this. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
Kind of floating where you go, wife and kids. Mia Khalifa.

Speaker 5 (34:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
Oh, fuck. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
No.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
No, no, no.

Speaker 4 (34:17):
I thought I had another few seconds.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
I thought I had more time. I thought I was
going to think of my wife and kids.

Speaker 4 (34:25):
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
I'm going to hell.

Speaker 5 (34:29):
Air. Air. Air.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
Air. Well, I guess I should think of me, Khalifa.

Speaker 8 (34:34):
No.

Speaker 6 (34:35):
Oh, boy. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 4 (34:38):
What does my wife even look like?

Speaker 2 (34:41):
All that's coming up is Mia Khalifa.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
Oh, shit.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
What are my kids' names? I'm really trying to access.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
I'm really trying to access a memory.

Speaker 5 (34:49):
God damn it. You just remember such a specific porno name,
and you're like.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
I know I had children. Their names are right there.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
Their names are right tip of my tongue, top of
my teeth.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
My daughter, Mia.

Speaker 8 (35:03):
Mia?

Speaker 4 (35:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Is it Mia?

Speaker 5 (35:07):
It's like when someone says, like, what's her name? And
then somebody else says a name. And you're like, well,
the only name I can think of is that name.
And it's not that. It's something else.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
You actually survived the shark attack, honey. And the first
thing you said when you woke up was Mia.

Speaker 4 (35:23):
You said Mia Khalifa?

Speaker 2 (35:24):
No, no, no. I was saying, I was saying me, me, I, me, I,
almost Khalifa my life. Mia Khalifa. That's what I meant.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
It's just shark bite. It's just completely fucked my shit up.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
What is it?

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Sorry.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
It really threw me for a loop, this shark bite.
I said Mia Calabria. I was saying Mia Calabria. Mia Cachava.
I'm hungry. Give me a Cachava. And it's one of.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
Those accidents where you now have to pretend that you
only can speak Italian.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
You know how people.

Speaker 3 (35:59):
Get hit in the head and then suddenly they're speaking
Cantonese and you're like, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (36:05):
Oh, God. Now I just... I took it like.
I took it like this. Now you're going to take
it like this all the time.

Speaker 6 (36:12):
They're like, I just wish he would have died.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
I just kind of wish he would have died.

Speaker 4 (36:20):
I thought we had an out clause there. Damn it.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
Mia attacked by a hammerhead shark.

Speaker 4 (36:28):
Oh, now he's canceled.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
I can't believe it. He look like a man.

Speaker 4 (36:31):
So to answer your question, I think probably a bear.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Mia can't believe it. Probably a bear. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 4 (36:36):
I think so too.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
Probably a bear because under the water, that seems like
a little … That's scary.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
Yeah. I don't like that. Yeah, that's not ideal. You
at least want to take a last couple pictures.

Speaker 5 (36:49):
Gasping breaths yeah you want to look the animal in
the eye and have that exchange where they know and
you know and you go my energy is.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
Now yours oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:59):
And the bear is like no hard feelings there would
be none there would be none unless.

Speaker 7 (37:05):
It was in just like a little fist bump unless it.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
Was in my backyard Then you're a little bit like, dude,
I was just grilling.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (37:15):
And then the wife's going to have to clean this up,
and she'll be bummed because I'm her husband and mother
of her children, you know?

Speaker 2 (37:23):
Father. Mother? Wait a minute.

Speaker 4 (37:25):
Father. What is she telling you?

Speaker 2 (37:27):
It's so funny.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
What is she telling you, man? Father.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
You knew what I meant to say. I thought I did.
Something just happened. I don't know, man.

Speaker 4 (37:34):
That was weird.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (37:36):
Some junior situation here.

Speaker 5 (37:38):
The bear's also like, I know you were grilling. I
actually came here. I smelled the food.

Speaker 4 (37:44):
Yeah, I was coming here for burgers.

Speaker 5 (37:45):
You started hitting me with the spatula thing?

Speaker 2 (37:48):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (37:48):
So he's a yogi bear situation.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Well, I think that's just honey, right? No, no, no.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
That's Winnie the Pooh.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Oh, you're right.

Speaker 4 (37:55):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Yogi was all about the pick-a-nick-back-a. Pick-a-nick-back-a. Whoa. Pick-a-nick-baskets. Pick-a-nick-baskets. Pick-a-nick-baskets.

Speaker 4 (38:02):
Man, I love you. You wake up from a coma
and you just yogi the bear.

Speaker 5 (38:07):
Man.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Hello. Hey, boo-boo. Hey, boo-boo.

Speaker 5 (38:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (38:10):
Dang.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Actually, now that we're talking about things we've never watched,
I don't think I've ever watched an episode of Yogi
the Bear.

Speaker 4 (38:16):
The hell is that show about? It's not Yogi the Bear,
is it? What is it?

Speaker 2 (38:21):
It's Yogi Bear. Yogi the Bear?

Speaker 4 (38:24):
Dude, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (38:25):
This is a Mandela effect situation.

Speaker 6 (38:28):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
This is a Berenstain bear. Every bear, I'm like, wait
a second.

Speaker 5 (38:33):
Was it Winnie the Pooh or was it Winnie Pooh?

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Right.

Speaker 4 (38:36):
It's the Pooh.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
I think, was the show called?

Speaker 4 (38:39):
Jellystone?

Speaker 2 (38:40):
Well, that's where they lived, but yeah.

Speaker 4 (38:42):
The Huckleberry Hound Show. Oh, that show. I do remember
that guy. He was cool. No, this isn't Yogi the
Yogi Bear. That is not Yogi Bear.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
It was all Hanna-Barbera, no?

Speaker 4 (38:53):
Well, it's Hanna-Barbera. It doesn't mean it's the Huckleberry Hound Show.

Speaker 5 (38:56):
Well, is that where he started? Like how the Simpsons
started on Tracy Allman? Now we're not talking about Tracy Allman.

Speaker 4 (39:01):
I think it was just Yogi. The Yogi Bears show.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
The Yogi Bears show.

Speaker 5 (39:06):
And who came first? Yogi Berra, the baseball player? And
then they were like, that's kind of funny.

Speaker 4 (39:10):
I do believe.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
Yogi Berra?

Speaker 4 (39:12):
I do believe so.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
That's crazy.

Speaker 4 (39:13):
I do believe.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Can you imagine if they were like, oh, Adam Navarro.
That's kind of funny. What about Adam? Go off. Keep going.
The Vine, and it's about a fucking jungle. Adam the Vine,
and it's just like.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
I don't think they would pick Adam Levine, for sure.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
Yeah. Okay, so it's just like a living, breathing ravine.
Adam the Ravine.

Speaker 4 (39:35):
He's locked in.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
I was just in Hollywood, and I found the artist
that drew.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
What do you call that one.

Speaker 4 (39:50):
You're directing something and you go frame by frame. Storyboard.
Storyboard artist.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (39:56):
They thought that Adam Levine was the star of Bumper
in Berlin. And so they just drew Adam Levine in
every frame. I got there and it's just photo, like
hand-drawn images of Adam Levine everywhere. Dude, I thought they
were punking me and they were like, no, it's just

(40:16):
this one woman thought. Read your name and it was
Adam Levine in her brain.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
That is, not to bring him back an old joke,
but that's grounds.

Speaker 5 (40:27):
Like you don't, is this when you were like going
to be starring in the bumper show?

Speaker 4 (40:31):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (40:33):
You shelve that. You go, we actually don't have these.
We don't have the storyboards.

Speaker 3 (40:38):
Well, it was given to me as a gift, as
a wrap gift. And it's now framed in my house.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
As a joke. No, it wasn't as a joke.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
It was done. No, no, no, no. It was given
to you as a, you'll think this is funny. Because
I do. Got it. But it is.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Pretty funny after the fact. After she was fired.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
Yeah. It's hilarious. Yeah. No, I think it was a
loss of translation.

Speaker 4 (40:58):
She was, you know, German.

Speaker 2 (41:03):
Oh, yes.

Speaker 4 (41:05):
You got to cut some slack there. Yeah, for sure.
Slack was cut.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
What did you just pop in your mouth there?

Speaker 4 (41:12):
What are you eating on the pod? Come on, bro.
This guy can't wait one hour before.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
What are you eating, man?

Speaker 4 (41:19):
What are you eating right now, dude?

Speaker 3 (41:21):
What?

Speaker 2 (41:21):
Chocolate.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
You're just eating chunks of chocolate? What kind of chocolate?

Speaker 2 (41:25):
I told you, dude. That is wild behavior.

Speaker 4 (41:27):
That is some.
Elite shit.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
That is some grandfather type stuff. Yeah, like granddad's chocolates.

Speaker 4 (41:34):
Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 5 (41:35):
Dude, my great uncle had like little bowls of chocolate
just around the crib so he could just walk around
and go.

Speaker 4 (41:41):
Was he, did he battle obesity? Was he like, no.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
Rail thin?

Speaker 4 (41:48):
Or just a.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
Yeah, basically. Little pot belly like an old guy.

Speaker 4 (41:51):
Do you eat a lot of chocolate? Hey, it must
be nice.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
Do you eat a lot of chocolate and you notoriously
brush your teeth What, once every two days or whatever?

Speaker 4 (41:59):
Are you getting cavities?

Speaker 2 (42:03):
What are we doing?

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Because I just went to the dentist.

Speaker 4 (42:05):
I got fucking two more cavities, man.

Speaker 2 (42:08):
I have had cavities, but they're very, very rare. I
never had them as a kid. I think I had
a couple in my 20s. I don't get them.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
I wonder if I just have like Irish teeth or
some shit or something weird like that.

Speaker 4 (42:21):
Yeah, classic Irish teeth.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
That has nothing to do with being Irish. I thought
everybody in Great Britain fucking.

Speaker 4 (42:30):
Had bad teeth. Ireland isn't in Great Britain.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Yes, it is. And I brush my teeth every morning
just for the fucking.

Speaker 4 (42:38):
I have no idea.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
If Rumi locked in... Isn't Great Britain.

Speaker 5 (42:41):
And you can't just talk over me saying that I
brush them every morning.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
This needs to be stated and heard.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
Great Britain is the United Kingdom, right? Aren't they the
same thing? Great Britain and United Kingdom? It's... Scotland, England, Wales, Ireland.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
Am I forgetting one?

Speaker 2 (42:57):
Wales, yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
The independent country of Ireland is not part of Great
Britain or the United Kingdom.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
So, fuck.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
Write the fuck off.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Well, it was at one point, wasn't it? Wasn't it
at one point?

Speaker 4 (43:08):
You just went there.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Well, it's not now, motherfucker. Edward the Longshanks up here. Okay,
all right.

Speaker 4 (43:13):
It's not now. And by the way, I don't like
that you said Irish teeth.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
Irish teeth, dude. Because I have Irish teeth. And my
teeth are fucking great, okay?

Speaker 4 (43:23):
When Irish teeth are rotten. Do you? Come on.

Speaker 5 (43:27):
I thought, did we find out you were not Irish
or Italian or something? What was it when you did your, like,
your dad?

Speaker 4 (43:32):
No, that was my mother always said. My mom always said.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Me mom? I was right there.

Speaker 4 (43:39):
Me mom?

Speaker 2 (43:39):
Me mama.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
Always said that she was part.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Me a califa.

Speaker 4 (43:46):
And she would say it like this. She was part Indian.
She would say Indian.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
And I'm like, what? That shit's important.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
She's like, I'm part Indian. And I'm like, I feel
like you can't say that. And she's like, well, that's
how they say it. And I am part Indian.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
That's how we say it.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
And then she did the 23andMe and found out she's
in no way Indian. There's no Indian. There ain't no
Indian about you.

Speaker 5 (44:16):
And I do love the idea that that's how they
say it is something that she's just Guessing.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Cause she's not hanging on the res.

Speaker 3 (44:25):
I mean, we're very Midwestern. You run into some Indian
people every once in a while. Native American, but, uh,
Native American, Indian comedy.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (44:38):
There's one Indian restaurant. And by the way, we, uh,
our high school mascot, we were the Indians.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
Sure.

Speaker 4 (44:45):
You were.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (44:46):
Notoriously. Not even that notorious. Uh, We were the Indians.
No one said Indian.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Yes, I am. No one has ever said Indian. I've
heard Injun, which is like a derogatory term.

Speaker 6 (44:58):
You guys, what are we up to? So bear or
hammerhead shark? Oh, my spirit animal, the hammerhead shark.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
Yeah, so she's not Native American even a little bit.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
Oh. My mom. That's great.

Speaker 5 (45:14):
But I guess I thought you thought you were Irish,
and it turns out you were Italian.

Speaker 4 (45:19):
No, you've got to have to.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
That's a fake Mandela effect thing happening to you.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
Fake news, brother.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
He's actually not that old either. He's dead. Oh, he died. Yeah,
he's done.

Speaker 4 (45:31):
I want to get a 23andMe so bad.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
For the longest time, I was like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
I think you can do it right now. You can
just click on it.

Speaker 4 (45:41):
Yeah, you can just literally click on a button. It'll
come to your house like tomorrow. You can just do it.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
Then you poop in a box. You poop? I think
it's like a hair situation. Okay. Or a spit sample.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (45:51):
I can't get rid of my hair. I could spit
for sure.

Speaker 5 (45:54):
Yeah, I forgot. You have to shave your entire head. Dude.

Speaker 4 (45:59):
Yeah, I'm 23 and mead, guys.

Speaker 3 (46:01):
Todd's saying it's a spit thing. Yeah, do we do
that as part of a fun thing that we have
to guess each other's?

Speaker 4 (46:09):
I think that would be really cool. I would love
to do that for the pod.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Durs did. My brother did it, so I technically already
have it.

Speaker 5 (46:15):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:15):
You're afraid of what you're going to find. Well, unless
you take it and you realize you're not related to
your brother at all.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
There we go. That's cool.

Speaker 5 (46:23):
Oh, man.

Speaker 4 (46:24):
That's like some fun things.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
He is very dark.

Speaker 4 (46:26):
Or if you were to take like a. Durs is Indian.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Indian. I'm not taking part of that.

Speaker 4 (46:35):
If you were to take.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
One of those tests, and then all of a sudden
they go and arrest your uncle or some shit, the
DNA matches, and they're like, actually, it was him that
did those murders in the late 90s.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Any take-backs? Any take-backs? The Hawkeye killers. Any apologies?

Speaker 4 (46:53):
That could happen. That could happen to Durz's family.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Of course, yeah. For sure. Wouldn't that be something? Any
take-backs or apologies? I just want to punch. Eddie, take
back some apologies. Clues left behind. I mean, fucking... See ya.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (47:07):
Ders really doesn't want to do this. We're like, yeah, actually,
they sent it to us for free. So, Ders, all
you got to do is spit it in.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
No, but like... No, my brother already did it. I
don't have to do it. That is funny, but... No,
that is funny.

Speaker 5 (47:20):
That would be crazy, but on a serious tip, I
heard like they're not even that accurate.

Speaker 4 (47:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Oh, seriously. On a like... You know, for real, though.
For real, though. For real serious. I mean, like, it's
all very funny, but.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
It's a waste of spit.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
It's seriously a good time to laugh with you guys.

Speaker 7 (47:37):
But also, heard it's not that accurate. A lot of
people getting locked up for almost no reason, really. It's
really kind of a sad situation. I think I'm going
to go to the White House, see what I can do.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Talk to Trump.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
You should.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Twist his arm on that one. Seems like a good dude.

Speaker 4 (47:56):
Talk to your boy.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
He'll see where I'm coming from. Anyway, anyone take backs?
Did you say hammerhead? I can't remember if you said
bear or if you said hammerhead.

Speaker 4 (48:08):
No, I've said bear so many times.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
That's right, that's right.

Speaker 4 (48:11):
Of what animal... Now, what animal would I like to see?

Speaker 2 (48:14):
I would love to.

Speaker 4 (48:15):
I've seen some bears. They're cool. You know, they're fine.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
But, I mean, you've seen the little ones. You've never
seen the big ones, right? I've never seen, like, a
true grizzly.

Speaker 5 (48:24):
Have you been up close with any sort of bear
in the wild?

Speaker 4 (48:27):
I've been in Yellowstone when there's been bears.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Well, those are grizzlies out there, no?

Speaker 1 (48:34):
I think they have the whole gamut.

Speaker 4 (48:35):
I think they were black bears.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
I got rolled up on.

Speaker 4 (48:37):
I've been rolled up by black bears twice. Once in.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
Montana with kids on the other side of the bear.
We're on a path. Kids are up front talking kid stuff.

Speaker 4 (48:50):
All right, guys.

Speaker 5 (48:50):
Parents are behind. Bear comes out of the woods onto
the trail between us. Kids are kind of far up,
and we're going, And then we're just like. Well, aren't
you supposed to be the loudest?

Speaker 2 (49:04):
I do.

Speaker 4 (49:05):
You can be.

Speaker 5 (49:06):
But we're trying to shout to the kids and then
we do. But like at first you're just kind of like, oh, fucking.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
Bear. Bear.

Speaker 4 (49:15):
Yeah. And then they're like, no, boo bears. We love
the Rams.

Speaker 5 (49:20):
Yeah we're la kids and then when i was doing
monarch out in canada in canada we got rolled on
oh and fucking wyatt russell manned up fucking bossed up
on this bear.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
Really yeah that's cool just like his old man yeah.

Speaker 5 (49:34):
He just goes get out of here bear and i
was like you called it bear Fucking sick.

Speaker 4 (49:40):
He's like, damn right. He has like proper hiking boots.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Wearing costume, but yes. He's got them somewhere.

Speaker 4 (49:46):
No, no, no. I feel like in real life, that
man goes hiking.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
Yeah, he might.

Speaker 4 (49:51):
And he knows his way around a hiking trail. He's
a man.

Speaker 3 (49:55):
Personally, I'm out there on the hiking trail. And you
know what I have on? Some brand new hiking boots.
They're blistering up my feet. They're blistering on my feet.
I'm a little bummed about them. I'm like mostly looking
for a walking stick.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
A lot of that.

Speaker 3 (50:09):
Whenever I'm hiking, I'm like, where can I get a
sick hiking stick?

Speaker 2 (50:13):
This is like when we went to Peru.

Speaker 5 (50:15):
Was it Peru where you were complaining about your boots
the whole time?

Speaker 2 (50:18):
It was somewhere. Yeah. Where you were like, God damn it,
these fucking boots.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
Oh, God, they just, they don't match my pants.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
There's a lot of that.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
No, like, it's not about matching the pants, okay?

Speaker 3 (50:28):
It's about my layer of skin is so thin that
I bleed when they're brand new, okay?

Speaker 4 (50:34):
Oh, my.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Whoa, my bad, my bad.

Speaker 3 (50:36):
And so I have to bleed through the pain in
order to get them comfortable enough.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
And the bears are like, oh, the bears, they.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
No, bears don't smell blood. They're not sharks. What do
you mean bears don't smell?

Speaker 2 (50:49):
Are you thin-skinned, Adam? Yeah, technically.

Speaker 4 (50:51):
Yeah, what do you mean bears don't smell blood, dude?

Speaker 2 (50:55):
He's locked in.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
No, that's not like what draws them. They don't like
smell blood and go like, ooh, where the blood at?

Speaker 2 (51:01):
Yes, there's literally like.

Speaker 5 (51:04):
Notes from camp counselors where they're like, and now girls
come over here and we're going to talk to you guys.
And they talk about when they menstruate and they're like,
so when you're bleeding, bears are sniffing.

Speaker 4 (51:16):
Oh, I didn't realize that's why they were having that conversation.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
So Blake, you're a fucking idiot.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
And when we do, hey, and when we do apologies,
I expect something from you.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
To women everywhere. And bears.

Speaker 4 (51:28):
All right, I'll write that down.

Speaker 5 (51:29):
Yeah, that's the joke in like, is it Anchorman where
Steve Carell's like, bears smell their periods.

Speaker 4 (51:34):
Yes, that's right. How could I forget? That's such a.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
It's science.

Speaker 4 (51:37):
Iconic line, too.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
I thought they just smelled like burgers and like food,
and that's why you.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Don't think of food. Well, they're mammals.

Speaker 4 (51:45):
They smell.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
I think anything with a nose smells... Yeah.

Speaker 4 (51:47):
They smell everything, dude.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
Yeah, but I.

Speaker 3 (51:50):
And they have an incredible sense of smell, so that
doesn't mean, like, they only smell incredible scents, smells.

Speaker 4 (51:56):
I thought it was like.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
They're like, I only smell cheeseburgers on the grill because
my sense of smell is incredible.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
That's not a great evolution. Y'all got onions?

Speaker 4 (52:05):
That's not a great evolution. Oh, shit. Shiitake mushrooms?

Speaker 2 (52:09):
Oh, shit. I'm not eating that.

Speaker 4 (52:11):
I hate mushrooms.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
You think a bear hates mushrooms?

Speaker 4 (52:14):
For sure.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
What, do you think bears like mushrooms? No, they like
fucking pizza.

Speaker 5 (52:20):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
They like pizza.

Speaker 3 (52:22):
Now, what animal do you think you could, if you
had a Bowie knife, you have an actual knife.

Speaker 4 (52:31):
A real... Is it Bowie? I think it's Bowie. Like
a six-inch, seven-inch blade.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
Is that what that is, six inches?

Speaker 4 (52:38):
Hang loose, brother. Yeah, it's about six and a half,
seven inches, nine inches. It's really long.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
It's like a thick five and a half.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
It's a really long six and a half.

Speaker 4 (52:48):
Nine, ten inches right there.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
I love that bro measures his dick like that. Isn't
that the whole thing? Isn't everyone's dick as long as this?

Speaker 1 (52:57):
I imagine he's putting it up to his hard penis
like it's taking a phone call.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
I thought that's how everyone, I thought that was the thing.

Speaker 4 (53:05):
Well, who hasn't done that?

Speaker 2 (53:08):
I've never done that. I've never done this to the
side of my penis.

Speaker 4 (53:11):
It's pointless.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Do it later tonight. You'll be like, oh shit.

Speaker 4 (53:15):
Do it later and be like, that actually kind of
nailed it.

Speaker 5 (53:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
That sort of nailed it.

Speaker 4 (53:20):
I don't know, bro.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
Blake's like, wait, what?

Speaker 4 (53:26):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
That makes sense. Yeah, that's about right.

Speaker 4 (53:30):
That makes sense.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
Yeah, it's like, isn't this an I or a J? Yeah,
it just goes like this. He just goes, oh, mine
is this.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Oh, yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
This is like sign language.

Speaker 1 (53:41):
Isn't this a J? Yeah, sure.

Speaker 4 (53:43):
None of y'all bros know sign language.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
It's pathetic.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
Oh, me?

Speaker 2 (53:46):
I was just doing sign language.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
It's pathetic. You guys don't know sign language.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
It is fucking pathetic. So, Adam, you got a Bowie knife? Yeah.

Speaker 4 (53:55):
So, what would you kill? Like, which one do you
think you could kill? Or at least get out of
the situation?

Speaker 2 (54:02):
Could kill or would want to kill?

Speaker 3 (54:04):
Not would want to. And I guess not even kill.

Speaker 4 (54:07):
Evade.

Speaker 3 (54:08):
Injure the animal enough to escape the situation.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
What's the maximum?

Speaker 1 (54:15):
You're saying between hammerhead or bear?

Speaker 2 (54:16):
No, any animal.

Speaker 4 (54:17):
Yeah, between... Oh.

Speaker 5 (54:18):
No.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
Well, I was going to say between hammerhead and bear.
We've been talking hammerhead.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
Hammerhead.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Yeah, I think hammerhead. Hammerhead just has a mouth.

Speaker 4 (54:26):
Yeah, but they're pretty fucking big. Bear will probably fuck you.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
Bear will. Bear's going to fuck you. Bear pulls his
dick out. And he's like, bro. And you're like, god damn. Yeah,
he got a freak on.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
He'll just do the eyes over it.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Dude, yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
No, I also think bears, they're not going to give up.
You stab them once with the booty knife, they're going
to keep coming at you. Whereas like a shark, I
think if they get hit, they dip. They're like, I'm
out of here.

Speaker 4 (54:56):
Yeah, I think you're right.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
You can just punch sharks in the nose and then
they pretty much get out. That's what you're supposed to
do because all of their nerve endings are right in.

Speaker 4 (55:05):
The tip of their nose.

Speaker 6 (55:06):
Right.

Speaker 2 (55:07):
They come and then they're like. And then they just chill.
They just are like, yo. Thank you.

Speaker 4 (55:13):
Thanks.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
Bye. I like that. Everybody's coming.

Speaker 4 (55:16):
That's kind of cool.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
That's got to be what happens.

Speaker 4 (55:19):
I think so.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
And can't you just turn a shark upside down and
it's like.

Speaker 4 (55:22):
It goes to sleep.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
I think. You turn a bear upside down.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
We've been on shark week. We should know these things. Yeah,
we should know these things.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
That's why I'm saying these things. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
They definitely, when we turned that, what was it? A
nurse shark or a tiger shark?

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Tiger.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
Tiger shark.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
When we turned it upside down, it definitely fell asleep
or some shit.

Speaker 4 (55:42):
Oh, that's right. Yeah. That's truly wild.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
The blood just goes to their head or something. They
just give up.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
There's a scientific thing happening for sure.

Speaker 4 (55:53):
Yeah, and I think they told us. We just forgot. Yeah,
immediately forgot. We were mostly like, yeah, but. when can
we start drinking again?

Speaker 2 (56:01):
And they're like, okay. We're getting in the water. Like, hey,
as soon as we let this go, we want you
guys in the water. Why?

Speaker 4 (56:11):
And then it attacked Durs. Was that the baby.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
Shark that attacked you? The next day, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah.
But still.

Speaker 4 (56:19):
Yeah, when we got the big one.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
It was when they like lost their shit.

Speaker 5 (56:21):
When they go, hey, there's a tiger shark down there
with you now. We were all like, And it was like,
just don't turn your back to it.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
And we go, we can't see it. Where is it?
And then we get out after the monetization.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
And that's when Blake pretended like his wrist was hurt
and he couldn't get in.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
Is that the same moment? Is that from the fall?

Speaker 4 (56:44):
Was that from the fall?

Speaker 3 (56:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
Or is this another time that you're making it up?
I think it was. I do.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (56:52):
That was it. Because it was during COVID. That's correct. Dang, dude.
Thank God for that trash can. Got me out of
a scary situation.

Speaker 3 (57:02):
But that was a once-in-a-lifetime amazing situation, and it would
have been so cool to.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
I mean, it was so cool to be a part
of it.

Speaker 4 (57:10):
I was in the water with you guys. When you
look back at it, Durs, were you like, that was awesome?

Speaker 2 (57:13):
Look back at it? Look back at it. iHeartRadio, Sam Jay.

Speaker 5 (57:18):
I literally was talking about it today because Emma was like,
let's go to the Caribbean.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
And I'm like, it's super far.

Speaker 5 (57:23):
We were fortunate enough during COVID to be flown out
on a private jet that was extra quick.

Speaker 4 (57:30):
It was so elite.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
And I think it still took us almost seven hours.
Did it?

Speaker 1 (57:34):
It went by so quick because I was with my boys.

Speaker 5 (57:36):
They were like, usually it takes 10, I think is
what it was. And they were like, we're going to
burn rubber. Anyway, that was super special.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
It was awesome.

Speaker 5 (57:44):
And the fact that because it was COVID- You told
us this, Adam, because you were there the year before,
that generally they keep you in a hotel and then
every day you go out on a smaller boat.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
And they were like.

Speaker 5 (57:54):
unfortunately we're going to have to put you guys on
160 foot yacht.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
And we're like, Oh no.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
And unfortunately you can't fly commercial. You have to fly
private so you don't get COVID. So that's unfortunate as well.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
And we know it's a bummer. So we're also going
to pay you to do this.

Speaker 4 (58:12):
Ooh.

Speaker 1 (58:14):
Okay.

Speaker 6 (58:14):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (58:14):
But, but beyond all that, I'm talking about the actual
experience of like that first day when we were down
there and it was.

Speaker 4 (58:22):
Uh, this sunken ship.

Speaker 2 (58:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (58:25):
And the sharks were everywhere.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
And they were everywhere.

Speaker 5 (58:27):
They were like, they were chumming for like a half
hour and then we come out and they go, there's
actually way more sharks than we thought would show up.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
And we look down and there's just 30 sharks. Oh
my God.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
There's dozens of sharks just, and the one guy, Andre,
is covered in like that chain mail and he's letting
them like bite his.

Speaker 4 (58:47):
Arm and shit.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
It was horrible.

Speaker 3 (58:49):
Chaos and then they go jump in don't act like
you were there you were just up on deck fucking
eating sandwiches and shit in the hot tub drinking i
was watching i was watching watching.

Speaker 5 (58:59):
They go jump in uh and i go what if
i land on a shark and they go they'll just
scatter away They'll move.

Speaker 4 (59:05):
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
Jump in. Look around. It's just all sharks.

Speaker 4 (59:12):
So many sharks. So many sharks. I don't know if
I would have been.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
I'm not about that life. Sharks are scary to me.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
I'm not either. But as soon as those cameras start rolling.

Speaker 6 (59:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
You just. I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:26):
Song and dance, man. That's scary, dude. I don't know
about them sharks, bro. Any takebacks, any apologies, any epic,
epic slams?

Speaker 1 (59:36):
And what I was, I have to apologize for numerous things.
I have to apologize to Ireland for claiming they were
part of Great Britain.

Speaker 3 (59:45):
And also that they have bad teeth when we're not
known for having bad teeth.

Speaker 4 (59:50):
Maybe it's just my family. Maybe it's just my family.

Speaker 2 (59:52):
Great save.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
I also need to say sorry to, what was it,
to you, Adam, for something about bears?

Speaker 2 (59:59):
What did I do? Seems genuine.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
I kind of forget it exactly. Something about blood. I
don't know, but I apologize to bears.

Speaker 4 (01:00:09):
No, but also to me. Yeah, Adam, his boot selection
or something like that. So I really am sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
I really am sorry.

Speaker 5 (01:00:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
You call them thin-skinned?

Speaker 5 (01:00:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
I think you called me thin-skinned, and I literally am,
so that's... It's just an observation.

Speaker 4 (01:00:23):
That is A-okay.

Speaker 5 (01:00:25):
Blake, any apologies to the community of American Indians?

Speaker 4 (01:00:29):
I was just, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
Sure.

Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Throw him in there.

Speaker 4 (01:00:34):
For all of history, bro.

Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
That is.

Speaker 4 (01:00:37):
I apologize. For all of history. Yeah, we did not
do him right.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
I'd like to apologize on my mother's behalf for... You know,
she's a sweet woman. She means no harm, but she does...
She thought she was Native American, but she wouldn't say
Native American. She would say Indian, which is an insane
way to say it. So apologies to her. For her,
to her.

Speaker 4 (01:01:01):
From her, to the Native American community. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
And where'd she grow up?

Speaker 5 (01:01:05):
Missouri?

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
Yeah, and Iowa.

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
Missouri.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
We love it. Iowa, that's a word of those people.
Is it not? Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
And so is Omaha.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
I believe Missouri. So is Missouri, I think. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
Okay, this is an important podcast at OLG Stage at
Fallsview Casino, Friday, September 25th.

Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
My God, it's just around the river bend.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
We're doing live! Are you guys excited? I am.

Speaker 4 (01:01:35):
I am excited.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
I am.

Speaker 4 (01:01:36):
I'm very excited.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
I love doing the podcast live. We haven't for a while,
so there's going to be a lot of pent-up energy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (01:01:44):
Yeah, it's going to be psychotic. And I love just
getting together with my boys. I know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
Should we get a bear? I feel like they got
to have them all over the place up there.

Speaker 4 (01:01:53):
Well, that's a good call. If we can. I'm down
for some live animals.

Speaker 5 (01:01:55):
Should we have the bear show its nipples?

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
Okay, so this episode comes out on the 22nd. So
only a few days from now. If you're in the area,
if you're in the greater Niagara Falls area, come on
out to Fallsview Casino, Friday, September 25th, 8 p.m., OLG stage.

Speaker 4 (01:02:13):
Hey, Buffalo, come on out. Toronto, come on out. Everybody,
it's right there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:19):
I don't even know.

Speaker 4 (01:02:21):
It's all very close.

Speaker 3 (01:02:22):
I don't even know how far away things are right there.

Speaker 4 (01:02:26):
I think everything's about an hour away.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
And you're going to the casino.

Speaker 4 (01:02:30):
It's fine.

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
The local bar down the street from my house, it's
a Buffalo Bills bar.

Speaker 4 (01:02:35):
So tight.

Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
I drove past the other day. It was like, the
early game, it is absolutely slammed. People are standing on
the table like yelling. I'm like, Do I become just
a Bills fan?

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
Yeah, I fuck with Bills Mafia. I think it seems
like such a fun fan base. They're having the best
time of their fucking lives over there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
It's really cool to see how excited you guys are.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
No, the Bills, they're cool. I would love to see
them win a Super Bowl. I mean, I remember as
a child them losing over and over and over again,
and I think they deserve it.

Speaker 4 (01:03:08):
Their fans deserve it, for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
Josh Allen, he's got a hell of an arm. He's
got wheels on him, too. His total package.

Speaker 4 (01:03:13):
He's gorgeous.

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
And, uh....

Speaker 4 (01:03:17):
And I think the Clippers are going to win it
this year.

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
Oh, yeah. That's another episode.

Speaker 4 (01:03:21):
Why are we laughing?

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Why are we laughing? It's not funny. Why are we laughing?

Speaker 4 (01:03:29):
Why are we laughing?

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
Kawhi.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Follow Us On

Hosts And Creators

Anders Holm

Kyle Newacheck

Adam Devine

Blake Anderson

Show Links

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

The Bobby Bones Show

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep 317: Stop Us If This Is Too Funny