January 13, 2026 • 31 mins
Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang are getting ready for their journey to Milan for the 2026 Milan-Cortina Olympic Winter Games. The Olympic Flame has quite the journey ahead which inspires Matt to remind us of his mile-time in high school.
What will Matt and Bowen be wearing to the Opening Ceremony? We discuss the performances and the stage it will be on. Will there be skiing while our hosts are in Italy? We wrap up with the Gold, Silver and Bronze medals for the Opening Ceremony!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Ring, ring, ring, rang, rang to another one.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
It's another one, and I feel a flame burning under me.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I was gonna say, what's that heat? I can feel
it all the way from Portina Formulan, where I guess
the opening ceremony.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
We know this is the beauty of this ceremony, right,
it's many different cities throughout northern Italy, throughout the Dolomite.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah, and I'm just I really am excited. You before
we started, you were like, it's really a gag that
we're going to be at this.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
It's a gag that we're gonna be at this. Well,
this is specifically the opening ceremony. Yes, Yes, Yes, which
is the topic of today's episode of Two Guys, Five Rings,
Welcome Back.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
This is Bowen Yang and I'm Matt Rodgers. Two Guys
Five Rings, three episodes so far, and this one. I
feel like it's really right that we finally get into
the opening ceremony because we are going to be attending.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yes, And I think by the time this comes out,
we will be maybe you know, two drama means in
on the flight over. Oh yeah, maybe on the way
to Italia. Oh my god, I don't know, I don't
I don't quite know.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
What's your plain situation with with sort of you know,
over the counter the responsible.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Don't worry, what do you do? I like a drama.
Mean sure, If that doesn't do it, there's gonna be
maybe a magnesium situation. And hold on before before the
Unison brand reps send me yet another box of Unison gels.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I'm okay, we're covered, We're covered.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I don't want this to be I don't want this
to be a tricky situation.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
No, yeah, I mean, because you could just down them
all at once. Don't do that. I won't do that, don't.
I won't get dark on the episode.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
That's okay, because in darkness there is always a call
for a flame.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
You know. It's so much darker in the winter than
the summer. Yes, well, and depending on what hemisphere you're in,
just makes the lights brighter. You ever think about that?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I think so, it's why Christmas lights are just the brightest.
And if this were our.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Other podcasts, that would be a rule of culture. But
it's not. But it's not. Well, new element just dropped.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
If you're watching the video elements of this piece of this,
we have clipboards and I think this is this is
very sort of coach, like would you say as.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
The son of a coach. He was the clipboarded. He
always was rocking this thing. And you know what he
would do a lot of the time, and this is
now visual medium, I'm going to do it all right.
He would hit the back of it like, all right,
it's time to huddle up. That's another thing they would
do in sports is huddle up. When's the last time
(02:46):
you huddled up? Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You know, you know, you know what I desperately want.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I want.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I want a huddling experience. I would just to answer
your question. It's been longer than I can remember since
I've huddled.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I want to do maybe improv team. No, we're not
really just get in the huddle.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
We don't huddle to me, means heads are down, Yeah,
heads are down, arms are around each other, creating a
sort of a that like creating at a barrel a sphere.
Oh I see a cylinder, yeah, a cylinder, cylinder, yes.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Creating a cylinder for secrets and gameplay.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I want to be able to say Matt's calling the play,
you know what I mean? I want I want to
be able to say, call the play, Matt's taking point.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
I really just got upset. You want to know why
I call the play? Now? Do you see why? And
we can call the longer ever cite Nicki Minaj lyrics again.
This is the last time we will be quoting it.
It's the last time that we will ever be quoting
Nicki Minaj on this Olympics podcast. If you want to
hear more of our thoughts, you probably should go to
Lost Cultures US now because you know we're spouting off now.
(03:55):
I can only imagine we're going to spout off.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I can imagine that and more and other things.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Now. The clipboard is powerful. This.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
When I did this earlier, I kind of hurt myself.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You gotta be careful whenever you smack your hand on
anything hard. It could hurt. It could hurt.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I mean, hurt is the hand that's that taps the clipboard.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Hurt is the hand that smacks the board, that smacks
the board. Yeah. But the thing is, like, in terms
of what is on the boards, we have a ton
of information and this is basically what we can expect
from the opening ceremony. And I know that we talked
about how it was rumored, like because I think there
were some rumors floating around the Mariah would perform. I
(04:36):
think we can now confirm it.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
We can now confirm that umteenth Grammy Award winning icon
five times five times.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
To me, it's umpteemed. Honestly, it should be emp teeth.
Mariah Carey's Grammy Winds should register in the teenths. Yes,
of the very experience. It's only five. By the way,
she better be singing at the open opening. If she's
not singing at the opening ceremony, like the world is
not doing her service because the Grammys have done her
(05:08):
so dirty. Five Grammy, that's from Mariah Carey. You gotta
be kidding me. And what is a thirty five year
career it's giving Michelle Kwan?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Honestly, I'm so happy you said that deserves to be
decorated better.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Do you think we'll see Michelle on site?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I hope so, I hope so. I hope we get
to have a nice little hot chocolate with her.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
You know how I want to avoid Johnny we Are
and Tara Lipinsky. Why, I'm afraid that they'll spoil the traders.
Just know that this whole time we're talking about the Olympics,
and really the sport that I'm most interested in. I
can't speak for my sister is Bowen, but it's Traders,
the Scottish sport pretty much. Now.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I don't think Johnny and Tara will spoil Traders because
they respect the NDA.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah, I think they respect the NDA and also the
gameplay of it.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
All absolute because their athlete. They're athletes and entertainers, let's
not forget. So they know what they know what this is.
They know not to spoil us. I was just with
them with a dear friend. Also Trader season four contestant
Eric Noam wouldn't say a thing to me.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, he's I feel like and and we had a
list Renna on our podcast. She did say anything.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
These people know so.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Far, they're keeping it pretty tight.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Lift before we talk about the opening ceremony that and
I do wanted to get to Mariah. Let's I want
to talk about the torches. I want to talk about
the torches they are.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I feel like this is something that would interest you,
like torch shape, torch function.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Oh yeah, I think it's something that would interest you.
I actually have a fun little game go ahead, not
a game. I just want to I just want you to.
I want to give you the opportunity to remind everybody
what your mild time was in high school.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Okay, thank you so much. So a lot of people
have been wondering how I'm going to figure in my
mile time, this being the Winter Olympics. Oh. I would
respond to that question by being like, I'm just gonna
say it, please, four thirty six.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
That's four minutes and thirty six seconds correct per mile.
So I want I'm gonna shout some numbers out about
the Olympic torch and then we're gonna to the Paralympic one.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Okay, great, total ten thousand and one.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Torch bearers, chic very love that a palindrome of a number.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh wow, I guess you're right, zero zero zero one.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I had to think what would be the New York
zip code as it were now. Total distance is twelve
thousand kilometers traveled approximately seventy five hundred miles.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
You always forget how much more kilometers is You always
spend miles. Kilometers is so much more than miles, which
means that it is this, which means that it's less
than miles in a way. Correct, and don't get confused.
Don't get confused. Please, the kilometer numbers is going to
be higher for the distance that the miles is okay.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Okay, For sixty three days the Olympic flame, this torch
will travel over seventy five hundred miles. I want to
let's just let's let's get the mile time on this
Olympic torch. I bet you're beating this torch because but
I don't want to say that sixty three days times
twenty four hours per day. I don't think that is
the hour minute breakdown that we want. No, how like,
(08:08):
let's assume that this torch is traveling. Do you want
to say eight hours each day or four hours each day?
How much work do we think this this this torch
is doing.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Honestly, I would never know. Let's say eight. I just
want to make it easy for you, because are you
gonna do quick math math? Oh? Oh, don't don't worry
about don't worry about this. Were you always good at
the SAT math stuff? I was?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I don't think I was just good at math in general?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Okay, Yeah, you thrived in this area. I did. I
enjoyed it. I needed a tutor specifically for math, that's sweet.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
I My math journey is you know, a little on
the nose. I get it, but it is tied closely
to my comedy journey really because my math teacher, my
calculus teacher was also my I was the assistant director
of the improv coach downtown in Denver. She never had
you huddle though, he he sorry, he never had a huddle.
Math teacher, he him him. He was also the epistemology teacher.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Oh, what's that?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Adrian Holgian theory of knowledge?
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Epistemology? How do you know? What? You know?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
That was a whole class and the IB in the
International Backalory Program There you go, which is a very
sort of very sort of Olympic coded because it was
like all over the world people were studying these things.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Epistemology, theory of knowledge.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
It was t ok It's like, oh I got took
you know at five.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Oh, because you were in an IV course load.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I was in the IV program at Smokey Hill High School.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Is this your mile time? No? Being in the IVY
program Smokey Hill, this is my I'll tell you what's
his mild time, his act score.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
My mile time? No, no, no, we're not talking about
my mild time. Is my mild time? Is I got
a five on the ap CALC exam because of Adrian
Holgian's work, who also introduced me to just comedy as
an art form.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
You get a five on ap cal CALC. That's hard.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I was one of I was one of I was.
I just felt like I was his guy.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
I got a five on all the easy ones lit
comp side.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Those are not well. I guess I'm just very what
if left rough brand? I think your right brand, right brand?
I got a four on comp So you did.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I'm surprised at you.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You're more your more words than me.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
What do you think it was?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
I think I freeze when I when I have to compose.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I wrote a persuasive essay about the berries and cream
Starburst commercial. Remember that, what were you persuading? I had
to persuade everyone. It was a great commercial.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I suppose sounds.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
And then I wrote a comparative work. Yeah for a p.
Litt And you know this story, I get to use
two characters. Well, this is the essay. It was use
two characters from a novel you've read this year, yes,
and one as a foil for the other. You did it?
You did? Elizabeth Bennett. Elizabeth Bennett and Lydia who is
the character that I played in Fire Island and.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
You played I played Jane, You played Jane Bennett. You were,
but Elizabeth Bennett was duel Kin Booster.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yes, would you say that you playing Jane Jane Bennett
started your feud with Rosamond Pike. Yes, Yeah, which is
just a light feud. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
If I were to ever see her.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
It would be a huge hug.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Well, she could, she could slap me, she could strike me,
she could be very cold towards me.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I would would not mind. Yeah, but it might be
kind of cool for a Rosamond Pike to slap you,
I think so.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Now, just back on the topic of the torch, of course,
let's let's say it's eight You think this torch is
traveling eight hours a day.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I think like in order for it to get as
far as it needs to go, it would need to
be a full day thing, right, Yeah, tell.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Me, sixty three times eight is five hundred and four hours. Okay,
times sixty is thirty thousand minutes. Okay, okay, hold on,
hold on, hold on, It's been a long time since
ap calc. Hold on, hold on, saying all of us
sixty three times eight times.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Sixty yeah, divided by mine. No, this is not going
to be This is not gonna be good. You don't
think it's right what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I don't think this is traveling eight minutes or eight hours?
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Can we just put to the group we've dug how
many hours.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
In a day? Do you think the torch is traveling
a lot? No? No, no, that's not a numerical number.
How many lot is not a numerica. Here, here's what
I want.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Here's what I want to put out there, like it
is being held by the well.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
The first torch bearer was Petros. Get this so this
is now? Now is where I throw my hands up
in the air because you got names like this and
I'm Greek and I'm still having a whole try. Petros,
guy that cease, Petro's guy that cease. This is a
Greek Olympic row where he was the first torch bearer.
He was the first to begin.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yes, and there are many notable torch bearers on this relay.
And the relay officially started earlier in December.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I think it says the flame was lit and Olympia,
Greece in November twenty six, twenty twenty five, and they started.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
They started in December in Rome.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
December fourth, twenty twenty five in Rome. Beautiful place to start,
beautiful place to start. Now I want to say, oh,
start of the relay with December sixth. Great.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
So the torch is being held, is stationary at certain points,
and then the torch bearers along the relay are only traveling.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
The Olympic torch travels for roughly ten to twelve hours
a day during its relay, starting around seven thirty am
and concluding with the lighting of the cauldron in the
evening around seven thirty pm in the host city for
that day, but the actual time depends on the specific
(13:53):
relays route, the number of torch bearers, and the local events.
So between ten and twelve, three times more than your guests,
I'm going to say.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I'm going to say it's eight.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
It says ten to twelve hours a day, and I
knew it. This is the Olympics. I don't think you
remember that all the time.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I remember that this is the Olympics. Don't don't tell
me I don't remember the Olympics. I remember the.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Olympics podcast that I remember that this is the I.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Remember that this is the Olympics, trust me.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
On my Olympic podcast, on my Olympics podcast that I
that I co host with you.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Okay, so here's based on that math, based on the
math of eight hours a day.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Uh, this is what I want to say. Okay.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
The mile time, yeah, or the Olympic torch is four
point zero three minutes smoked me. I don't like that neither.
But I don't like that that it that it you are.
But but think of it this way. You were almost
as fast as the Olympic torch during this relay.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I'm into it. You know what. I would love to
do one of the torch bearers. Do you think that
could work that out for LA or does it have
to be all athletes? That can't be true for La.
You can do it, girl, please, they have they other
people get in there.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
You've been at the Vanity.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Fair Oscars party.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You are you are in the running, honey.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Let me tell you something. I was once barely invited
to the Vanity Fair oscar you were inviting. Hand me
that torch, Hand me that torch and give me it correctly.
I don't want to be grabbing the fire.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
You I think you'll I think you'll be just fine.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
I think that you would send a great chance at
holding the Olympic torch.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I have no interest.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I think you would bring joy to the world. You
have no interest. I have no interest. I have no interest.
Wait what did I recently say to you? Oh, and
then you said I have no interest. I was like, ooh,
let's try to go to the met gala. He said,
I have no interest. I have no interest. He has
no interest in going to the metcala.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
No sounds like a stressful name.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
What are we gonna wear of the opening ceremony? Have
we even thought da product? Well, yes, we're wearing product. Okay,
should we try to Oh my god, there's so many
should we Should we reach out to them? Right now?
We're looking for outfits for the opening ceremony. We'd love product.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
We'd love to turn a look. We'd love to reference
Mariah Carey's or reference either way. We would love to
reference Mariah Carey or Italian pop icon. Laura Patsuni, now
Laura Patsuni.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
It's her deal.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
She is one of the headline performers and she will
be performing to a global broadcast audience of two to
two point five billion people.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Italian pop icon Laura Passuni. Look at her. She's gorgeous
and so there she is. She's sort of giving a
Dina Menzel if you could picture what a Dina Menzel
looks like in your head, or like Rachel Berry, Rachel Berry,
orka a Lia Michelle or a Lana Glazer with the
middle part. Oh my god, yes, or Ali a shotcat
(17:02):
in a wig.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
We're naming just gorgeous Mediterranean looking icons.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, Laura Passini, babe, you know you think you think that,
like anyone will think I'm Italian there. Maybe I sometimes
get it.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
I thought when I first when I first met you,
I thought, oh, he's Italian.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Yeah, I think a lot. It's a common misconception because
it's Long Island. People are gonna think that about Mariah. Well,
they're racist, that mixed race.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
That's the Long Island thing too, you and Maria being
from Long Island and people thinking people defaulting to Italian.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
You know, it's interesting American like me and Mariah Carey
have Long Island in common, and me and Jennifer Lopez
have track running in common, and what they have in
common is dislike of one another. But Jayla will not
be at the opening ceremony, No, Mariah, Well, what song
would you like to hear Mariah Carey sing? Oh, that's
so good.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I want her to sing something something, it's something.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Wintery or Italian.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
You think she's gonna sing something pertinent to the ceremony.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I think. Do you think it'll be an Italian song?
I almost. I hope it's like I hope that. Well,
Lady Gaga did like a whole French number.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yes, Lady Gaga did Diffrench numbers. Selene did a French number.
I think, I think, I think Mariah wants to keep it,
keep it Italian.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
What is Mariah's connection to Italy?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
What is Gaga's connection to France? What is Selene's connection
to France?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Be because the very nature of her being very oo
la la, I would say, is Gaga's connection She sang
l'vion rose in Starsborn.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Mariah is a diva. That's and that is an Italian inventure.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
That's what it is. You do realize that's what it is. Yes, Yes,
the diva is in it. I can't believe you are.
I can't believe you're having to ask no. Actually it
took me a second to get there. But do you
think It's like, well, if we're going to have someone
perform at the at the Italian Milan Cortina opening Ceremony,
it should be Mariah because she is the annational I'm
now I did think the choice was a little odd,
(19:03):
not that I ever like am not wanted to see Mariya,
But now it makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yes, bravisima, bravisimaaza should we should hang Mariah if you're
if you want to, if you need a hang, if
you if you want a fun little you know, if
you if you want to have a nice Billini together.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I actually would love the BILLIONI note the Billini, note
Mariya the diva, the diva. We'll get this. Let's talk
about the stage of the opening ceremony, and the stage
will feature a spiral shaped led structure at the center
of the pitch, symbolizing unity and connection. The narrative will
explore Italy's heritage past and present, including tributes to icons
like Leonardo da Vinci and a retrospective on Italian excellence
(19:45):
and innovation, design and culture. What's your favorite invention of
Leonardo da Vinci's the penis? Because I think he was
very gay.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
You think Leonardo DaVinci was gay, I'm this is this
is widely known?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Is it is that?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
So?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Boys?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Someone google it? Boys, someone google it. I just did
the math on we really should quickly mention. Okay, the
Paralympic torch, which is traveling two thousand kilometers in eleven
days February twenty fourth to March six.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Great, that is. Oh here's more quick math.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Four point two five miles per minute?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Got me again?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Or four for two minutes per mile? But you, you
are as comparably fast as the Olympic torch.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
A long time ago. Sometimes I sometimes I do. I mean,
y'all know this. I was gonna run a mile again,
but it never happened. It never materialized. This is a
nice project for you. I went to berries today. It
was hard. I know hard. I know everything's hard, like
every athletic pursuit is hard after when your bone density
(20:51):
goes well, Yes, of course, but I'm I'm saying between
the days of December twenty six, yes, and January fourth.
That's why I'm not even bothering. You're gonna wait till
we You're gonna wait till we get to Milan to
work out. Yes, are you going to go singing while
we're there.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I don't think. I don't think the trails are open.
That would be a really I you know what we'll see.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I'm just I think it could be fun. It could
be fun.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
I'm gonna app pray. I will at pray with a
billion billion. Note you're gonna avant?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Which is before? Does that eat? No? Avant?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
It just means before, so play means after, so avant
means before.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
How much Italian are you bringing to the game? That is?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
That was French?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
It's first language, French very much bone Yang's no mile
second language. You constantly are saying this because my.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
First language is Mandarin. Like in the house it was Mandarin.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
But your I guess your first fluent language was you
think Mandarin? Yeah? Sure, fluency? And how much Mandarin do
you know?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Not?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah? How would you say that in Mandarinien? Oh? Yes,
very good. I know. I'm good. I think I could
rock commander him. Remember when we went to Italy we
(22:26):
had Granita Grenita. Was that the name of the waitress? No,
oh my god, No, Grenita is you know what Grenita is.
It's that gorgeous lidine. No Grenita, right, it's it's the
gorgeous breakfast oh, hold on, what we have news about
whether Leonardo da Vinci was kay. While Leonardo da Vinci
(22:49):
never explicitly defined his sexuality, strong historical evidence and scholarly
consensus and I suggest he was likely or bisexual, with
his lifelong intimate relationships with men, particularly his longtime companion
Salai Salai pointing towards this, though some historians debate the
(23:15):
extent of his romantic involvement versus deep friendships. Well, that's
just also being gay.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Now, and let's not forget the Olympics were for people
to sit around and watch oiled up muscly guys throw
a disc Now, what is your favorite invention from Leonardo
da Vinci?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Oh, paintings. I loved the paintings.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Now let's talk about the opening ceremony. Yes, okay, so
oh we already have sorry, I think, well, no, here's
the things we've come to expect from the opening ceremony. Passini,
Laura Passini and more Leonardo Vinci. A spiral led stage
representing peace. Well, I'm sure Ilia and Shane are going
(23:59):
to be the iliot and Shane will be there. I'm
sure that they will honor Leonardo da Vinci live on
television cottage will be at the center of the of
the of the stage.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I think the cottage is gonna be I think Mariah
Carey is going to come out like it's at the
tailor Swift aerostour and sit on top of the cottage sing,
you know whatever Italian ario she's going to sing, and
Shane and Eliot are going to be on the inside.
And if no one's gonna it's not gonna bother anyone.
It just is what it is. People wanted, They crave
it all over the world.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
It's mainstream, it's internationals, it's international. The Olympics were gay
leader was rumored to be gay. Must some scholars, you know,
dispute it.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So that's all only what's probably happening. Outside of that.
Here's what we can expect. The dramatic lighting of the
Olympic cauldron using unexpected final torch bearers tradition.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
It's always a surprise. It is gaggy. They always try
to gag you. In every city.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
It would be kind of who do you think who
would gag you? I mean it would be gaggy if
you were like, no, I have no interest in that.
It was you and they would.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Say Lemo and Yang Lemo and Lomo Chao, chomen eh
Leboen le.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Bowen as your diva name is really good. My parents
flap with.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
That NAMEY I love man name. Oh no, I love mateo.
Oh mateo your mateo eat it mateo.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Lane. Athletes march together under shared or unified flags. Well yes,
well yes. Large scale human mosaics formed by thousands of volunteers,
use of ice, snow and projection mapping to transform stadiums.
I'm excited about that. Mm hmm. Performances by children symbolizing
hope in the future, ceremonies emphasizing peace during times of
(25:42):
global tension.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
The only hope we have as an international community is
the Olympic Games.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
I would say that the world is in the words
of Linda Richmond from SNL Verklempt, the world is for
Klemps right now, artistic tribut It's the host nations, landscapes, folklore,
buzzword buzz and history and emotional first appearances of athletes
stepping into the Olympic arena. That really is.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It's so inspiring, It's so inspiring. I want there's one
person missing, who someone who is very Who's who put Italy.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Back on the map, Lady got again.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Absolutely, I was thinking of someone else on Valentina from
My Lotus season two, not Snooky and Snooky and Nicole
polite Ci.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
So I think that there is obviously so much more
we could possibly discuss about the opening ceremony, but we
are running up on time here, so I think let's
talk about the three things we are most excited to
see with our silver golden bronze. I don't know why
that was that. I like. I like that. I like
that sort of clearing, clearing the order, the order.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I my bronze medal of the things that are that
we hope to see at the opening ceremony. Yes, my
bronze medal is us dressed in Prada. Yes, dressed in
thermals for Prada. Yeah, at the opening ceremony.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
I cannot wait to see what we look like. It's
gonna be really something that's gonna be very fun. Okay,
can I say silver? Yes? I want to see what
Laura Passini is giving. Yes, I think she's gonna gag.
I think that, like, listen, if you're they've only announced
really a couple people, and it's Laura Passini and Mariah carry,
(27:32):
which means Laura Passini is giving something probably at least
two and a half octaves of Mariah's five two and
a half. I would be so thrilled with how many
octaves do you have in your floor? Oh?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Not a non discreete two like been Barren, know that
for a fact.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
No, I don't. What about you tell us sexually? Four? Three? Ah?
Do you believe me that I say that? Doug? I
feel like I feel like I've heard more about well
I haven't done, Doug. Doug came to my Christmas and
I love that you felt four.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
As a professional sound engineer.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
You know who has four? Christina Aguilera, Mariah has five.
I wonder if Arianna has five? I think ARISI, Yeah,
she's such a brilliant vocalist.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
She's a brilliant vocalist and another Italian legend.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Oh my god, what is she? Do you know?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I know nothing? Oh please, don't don't do this. I
don't know anything.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Oh my god. Now it's going to be that thing
of like when I say on them like like oh yeah,
I bet Ariana will be there, and then it's like
all the orientators are going to break the news. Like
when I like when I broke the news of her
deluxe album.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Pop Crave is going to run with this. Bob Grave
says Ari to Grane to play Leonaro da Vinci, Muse.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
She'd be great. I would love to see Ariana come out.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I was gonna say my goal was gonna be what's
gonna be? Connor Story and Hudson Williamses. I want to
see them as Leo and Salai Ooh. I love that,
But I think the gold has to go to Mariah duh.
Gold has to go to Mariah.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
The Italian diva singing at the one and only big event.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
If she were to sing from the movie Moonstruck, when
the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie,
that's a Moore at the at the Milan Cortina Winter Olympics.
That's diva and diva lives to be changed, lives to
be changed.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
It's a pondat Homore Hey, beautiful sort of that was
That's two octaves right there. Three is very impressive. I'm
amazed by you. Thank you for that. I don't even
know what to say. I guess I'm a diva, a diva,
(29:55):
you know what.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
We've got a list of Gray Winter Olympics opening ceremonyment
sm past, We've got Lily Hammer, the guys skiing off
with the torch, Salt Lake.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
City, Torino.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Who could forget Pavaradi's last public performance.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
These are just a few other things you might see.
Twenty ten and Vancouver, a snowboarder flew through the Olympic
rings at the start of the opening stetmony like are
you kidding? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (30:17):
That's hot in Canadian like heated rivalry. Your move, Laura Passine,
your move, Pissine. And of course you could forget in
peng Chang when North end South Korea did the predo
nations out of the same flag. That's the world that
we hope for and seldom get, But at the Olympics
it is the proper occasion.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Will we get it? Stay tuned to see that and
what we're wearing at the opening ceremony. Follow the show
on the iHeartRadio app or your favorite podcast platform, and
watch on the NBC Sports YouTube channel.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
And watch and listen to every moment of the Winter
Olympics every sixth to the twenty second on NBC in
Peacock and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
We end every episode with the same jingle oh
Ring, ring, ring, rang, rang to another one.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
It's another one, and I feel a flame burning under me.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I was gonna say, what's that heat? I can feel
it all the way from Portina Formulan, where I guess
the opening ceremony.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
We know this is the beauty of this ceremony, right,
it's many different cities throughout northern Italy, throughout the Dolomite.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah, and I'm just I really am excited. You before
we started, you were like, it's really a gag that
we're going to be at this.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
It's a gag that we're gonna be at this. Well,
this is specifically the opening ceremony. Yes, Yes, Yes, which
is the topic of today's episode of Two Guys, Five Rings,
Welcome Back.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
This is Bowen Yang and I'm Matt Rodgers. Two Guys
Five Rings, three episodes so far, and this one. I
feel like it's really right that we finally get into
the opening ceremony because we are going to be attending.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yes, And I think by the time this comes out,
we will be maybe you know, two drama means in
on the flight over. Oh yeah, maybe on the way
to Italia. Oh my god, I don't know, I don't
I don't quite know.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
What's your plain situation with with sort of you know,
over the counter the responsible.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Don't worry, what do you do? I like a drama.
Mean sure, If that doesn't do it, there's gonna be
maybe a magnesium situation. And hold on before before the
Unison brand reps send me yet another box of Unison gels.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I'm okay, we're covered, We're covered.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I don't want this to be I don't want this
to be a tricky situation.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
No, yeah, I mean, because you could just down them
all at once. Don't do that. I won't do that, don't.
I won't get dark on the episode.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
That's okay, because in darkness there is always a call
for a flame.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
You know. It's so much darker in the winter than
the summer. Yes, well, and depending on what hemisphere you're in,
just makes the lights brighter. You ever think about that?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I think so, it's why Christmas lights are just the brightest.
And if this were our.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Other podcasts, that would be a rule of culture. But
it's not. But it's not. Well, new element just dropped.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
If you're watching the video elements of this piece of this,
we have clipboards and I think this is this is
very sort of coach, like would you say as.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
The son of a coach. He was the clipboarded. He
always was rocking this thing. And you know what he
would do a lot of the time, and this is
now visual medium, I'm going to do it all right.
He would hit the back of it like, all right,
it's time to huddle up. That's another thing they would
do in sports is huddle up. When's the last time
(02:46):
you huddled up? Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You know, you know, you know what I desperately want.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I want.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I want a huddling experience. I would just to answer
your question. It's been longer than I can remember since
I've huddled.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I want to do maybe improv team. No, we're not
really just get in the huddle.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
We don't huddle to me, means heads are down, Yeah,
heads are down, arms are around each other, creating a
sort of a that like creating at a barrel a sphere.
Oh I see a cylinder, yeah, a cylinder, cylinder, yes.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Creating a cylinder for secrets and gameplay.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I want to be able to say Matt's calling the play,
you know what I mean? I want I want to
be able to say, call the play, Matt's taking point.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
I really just got upset. You want to know why
I call the play? Now? Do you see why? And
we can call the longer ever cite Nicki Minaj lyrics again.
This is the last time we will be quoting it.
It's the last time that we will ever be quoting
Nicki Minaj on this Olympics podcast. If you want to
hear more of our thoughts, you probably should go to
Lost Cultures US now because you know we're spouting off now.
(03:55):
I can only imagine we're going to spout off.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I can imagine that and more and other things.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Now. The clipboard is powerful. This.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
When I did this earlier, I kind of hurt myself.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You gotta be careful whenever you smack your hand on
anything hard. It could hurt. It could hurt.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I mean, hurt is the hand that's that taps the clipboard.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Hurt is the hand that smacks the board, that smacks
the board. Yeah. But the thing is, like, in terms
of what is on the boards, we have a ton
of information and this is basically what we can expect
from the opening ceremony. And I know that we talked
about how it was rumored, like because I think there
were some rumors floating around the Mariah would perform. I
(04:36):
think we can now confirm it.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
We can now confirm that umteenth Grammy Award winning icon
five times five times.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
To me, it's umpteemed. Honestly, it should be emp teeth.
Mariah Carey's Grammy Winds should register in the teenths. Yes,
of the very experience. It's only five. By the way,
she better be singing at the open opening. If she's
not singing at the opening ceremony, like the world is
not doing her service because the Grammys have done her
(05:08):
so dirty. Five Grammy, that's from Mariah Carey. You gotta
be kidding me. And what is a thirty five year
career it's giving Michelle Kwan?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Honestly, I'm so happy you said that deserves to be
decorated better.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Do you think we'll see Michelle on site?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I hope so, I hope so. I hope we get
to have a nice little hot chocolate with her.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
You know how I want to avoid Johnny we Are
and Tara Lipinsky. Why, I'm afraid that they'll spoil the traders.
Just know that this whole time we're talking about the Olympics,
and really the sport that I'm most interested in. I
can't speak for my sister is Bowen, but it's Traders,
the Scottish sport pretty much. Now.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I don't think Johnny and Tara will spoil Traders because
they respect the NDA.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah, I think they respect the NDA and also the
gameplay of it.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
All absolute because their athlete. They're athletes and entertainers, let's
not forget. So they know what they know what this is.
They know not to spoil us. I was just with
them with a dear friend. Also Trader season four contestant
Eric Noam wouldn't say a thing to me.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, he's I feel like and and we had a
list Renna on our podcast. She did say anything.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
These people know so.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Far, they're keeping it pretty tight.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Lift before we talk about the opening ceremony that and
I do wanted to get to Mariah. Let's I want
to talk about the torches. I want to talk about
the torches they are.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I feel like this is something that would interest you,
like torch shape, torch function.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Oh yeah, I think it's something that would interest you.
I actually have a fun little game go ahead, not
a game. I just want to I just want you to.
I want to give you the opportunity to remind everybody
what your mild time was in high school.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Okay, thank you so much. So a lot of people
have been wondering how I'm going to figure in my
mile time, this being the Winter Olympics. Oh. I would
respond to that question by being like, I'm just gonna
say it, please, four thirty six.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
That's four minutes and thirty six seconds correct per mile.
So I want I'm gonna shout some numbers out about
the Olympic torch and then we're gonna to the Paralympic one.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Okay, great, total ten thousand and one.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Torch bearers, chic very love that a palindrome of a number.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh wow, I guess you're right, zero zero zero one.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I had to think what would be the New York
zip code as it were now. Total distance is twelve
thousand kilometers traveled approximately seventy five hundred miles.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
You always forget how much more kilometers is You always
spend miles. Kilometers is so much more than miles, which
means that it is this, which means that it's less
than miles in a way. Correct, and don't get confused.
Don't get confused. Please, the kilometer numbers is going to
be higher for the distance that the miles is okay.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Okay, For sixty three days the Olympic flame, this torch
will travel over seventy five hundred miles. I want to
let's just let's let's get the mile time on this
Olympic torch. I bet you're beating this torch because but
I don't want to say that sixty three days times
twenty four hours per day. I don't think that is
the hour minute breakdown that we want. No, how like,
(08:08):
let's assume that this torch is traveling. Do you want
to say eight hours each day or four hours each day?
How much work do we think this this this torch
is doing.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Honestly, I would never know. Let's say eight. I just
want to make it easy for you, because are you
gonna do quick math math? Oh? Oh, don't don't worry
about don't worry about this. Were you always good at
the SAT math stuff? I was?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I don't think I was just good at math in general?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Okay, Yeah, you thrived in this area. I did. I
enjoyed it. I needed a tutor specifically for math, that's sweet.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
I My math journey is you know, a little on
the nose. I get it, but it is tied closely
to my comedy journey really because my math teacher, my
calculus teacher was also my I was the assistant director
of the improv coach downtown in Denver. She never had
you huddle though, he he sorry, he never had a huddle.
Math teacher, he him him. He was also the epistemology teacher.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Oh, what's that?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Adrian Holgian theory of knowledge?
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Epistemology? How do you know? What? You know?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
That was a whole class and the IB in the
International Backalory Program There you go, which is a very
sort of very sort of Olympic coded because it was
like all over the world people were studying these things.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Epistemology, theory of knowledge.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
It was t ok It's like, oh I got took
you know at five.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Oh, because you were in an IV course load.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I was in the IV program at Smokey Hill High School.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Is this your mile time? No? Being in the IVY
program Smokey Hill, this is my I'll tell you what's
his mild time, his act score.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
My mile time? No, no, no, we're not talking about
my mild time. Is my mild time? Is I got
a five on the ap CALC exam because of Adrian
Holgian's work, who also introduced me to just comedy as
an art form.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
You get a five on ap cal CALC. That's hard.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I was one of I was one of I was.
I just felt like I was his guy.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
I got a five on all the easy ones lit
comp side.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Those are not well. I guess I'm just very what
if left rough brand? I think your right brand, right brand?
I got a four on comp So you did.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I'm surprised at you.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
You're more your more words than me.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
What do you think it was?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
I think I freeze when I when I have to compose.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I wrote a persuasive essay about the berries and cream
Starburst commercial. Remember that, what were you persuading? I had
to persuade everyone. It was a great commercial.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I suppose sounds.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
And then I wrote a comparative work. Yeah for a p.
Litt And you know this story, I get to use
two characters. Well, this is the essay. It was use
two characters from a novel you've read this year, yes,
and one as a foil for the other. You did it?
You did? Elizabeth Bennett. Elizabeth Bennett and Lydia who is
the character that I played in Fire Island and.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
You played I played Jane, You played Jane Bennett. You were,
but Elizabeth Bennett was duel Kin Booster.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yes, would you say that you playing Jane Jane Bennett
started your feud with Rosamond Pike. Yes, Yeah, which is
just a light feud. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
If I were to ever see her.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
It would be a huge hug.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Well, she could, she could slap me, she could strike me,
she could be very cold towards me.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I would would not mind. Yeah, but it might be
kind of cool for a Rosamond Pike to slap you,
I think so.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Now, just back on the topic of the torch, of course,
let's let's say it's eight You think this torch is
traveling eight hours a day.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I think like in order for it to get as
far as it needs to go, it would need to
be a full day thing, right, Yeah, tell.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Me, sixty three times eight is five hundred and four hours. Okay,
times sixty is thirty thousand minutes. Okay, okay, hold on,
hold on, hold on, It's been a long time since
ap calc. Hold on, hold on, saying all of us
sixty three times eight times.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Sixty yeah, divided by mine. No, this is not going
to be This is not gonna be good. You don't
think it's right what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I don't think this is traveling eight minutes or eight hours?
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Can we just put to the group we've dug how
many hours.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
In a day? Do you think the torch is traveling
a lot? No? No, no, that's not a numerical number.
How many lot is not a numerica. Here, here's what
I want.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Here's what I want to put out there, like it
is being held by the well.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
The first torch bearer was Petros. Get this so this
is now? Now is where I throw my hands up
in the air because you got names like this and
I'm Greek and I'm still having a whole try. Petros,
guy that cease, Petro's guy that cease. This is a
Greek Olympic row where he was the first torch bearer.
He was the first to begin.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yes, and there are many notable torch bearers on this relay.
And the relay officially started earlier in December.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I think it says the flame was lit and Olympia,
Greece in November twenty six, twenty twenty five, and they started.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
They started in December in Rome.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
December fourth, twenty twenty five in Rome. Beautiful place to start,
beautiful place to start. Now I want to say, oh,
start of the relay with December sixth. Great.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
So the torch is being held, is stationary at certain points,
and then the torch bearers along the relay are only traveling.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
The Olympic torch travels for roughly ten to twelve hours
a day during its relay, starting around seven thirty am
and concluding with the lighting of the cauldron in the
evening around seven thirty pm in the host city for
that day, but the actual time depends on the specific
(13:53):
relays route, the number of torch bearers, and the local events.
So between ten and twelve, three times more than your guests,
I'm going to say.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I'm going to say it's eight.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
It says ten to twelve hours a day, and I
knew it. This is the Olympics. I don't think you
remember that all the time.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I remember that this is the Olympics. Don't don't tell
me I don't remember the Olympics. I remember the.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Olympics podcast that I remember that this is the I.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Remember that this is the Olympics, trust me.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
On my Olympic podcast, on my Olympics podcast that I
that I co host with you.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Okay, so here's based on that math, based on the
math of eight hours a day.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Uh, this is what I want to say. Okay.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
The mile time, yeah, or the Olympic torch is four
point zero three minutes smoked me. I don't like that neither.
But I don't like that that it that it you are.
But but think of it this way. You were almost
as fast as the Olympic torch during this relay.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I'm into it. You know what. I would love to
do one of the torch bearers. Do you think that
could work that out for LA or does it have
to be all athletes? That can't be true for La.
You can do it, girl, please, they have they other
people get in there.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
You've been at the Vanity.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Fair Oscars party.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You are you are in the running, honey.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Let me tell you something. I was once barely invited
to the Vanity Fair oscar you were inviting. Hand me
that torch, Hand me that torch and give me it correctly.
I don't want to be grabbing the fire.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
You I think you'll I think you'll be just fine.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
I think that you would send a great chance at
holding the Olympic torch.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I have no interest.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I think you would bring joy to the world. You
have no interest. I have no interest. I have no interest.
Wait what did I recently say to you? Oh, and
then you said I have no interest. I was like, ooh,
let's try to go to the met gala. He said,
I have no interest. I have no interest. He has
no interest in going to the metcala.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
No sounds like a stressful name.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
What are we gonna wear of the opening ceremony? Have
we even thought da product? Well, yes, we're wearing product. Okay,
should we try to Oh my god, there's so many
should we Should we reach out to them? Right now?
We're looking for outfits for the opening ceremony. We'd love product.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
We'd love to turn a look. We'd love to reference
Mariah Carey's or reference either way. We would love to
reference Mariah Carey or Italian pop icon. Laura Patsuni, now
Laura Patsuni.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
It's her deal.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
She is one of the headline performers and she will
be performing to a global broadcast audience of two to
two point five billion people.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Italian pop icon Laura Passuni. Look at her. She's gorgeous
and so there she is. She's sort of giving a
Dina Menzel if you could picture what a Dina Menzel
looks like in your head, or like Rachel Berry, Rachel Berry,
orka a Lia Michelle or a Lana Glazer with the
middle part. Oh my god, yes, or Ali a shotcat
(17:02):
in a wig.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
We're naming just gorgeous Mediterranean looking icons.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, Laura Passini, babe, you know you think you think that,
like anyone will think I'm Italian there. Maybe I sometimes
get it.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
I thought when I first when I first met you,
I thought, oh, he's Italian.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Yeah, I think a lot. It's a common misconception because
it's Long Island. People are gonna think that about Mariah. Well,
they're racist, that mixed race.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
That's the Long Island thing too, you and Maria being
from Long Island and people thinking people defaulting to Italian.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
You know, it's interesting American like me and Mariah Carey
have Long Island in common, and me and Jennifer Lopez
have track running in common, and what they have in
common is dislike of one another. But Jayla will not
be at the opening ceremony, No, Mariah, Well, what song
would you like to hear Mariah Carey sing? Oh, that's
so good.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I want her to sing something something, it's something.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Wintery or Italian.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
You think she's gonna sing something pertinent to the ceremony.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I think. Do you think it'll be an Italian song?
I almost. I hope it's like I hope that. Well,
Lady Gaga did like a whole French number.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yes, Lady Gaga did Diffrench numbers. Selene did a French number.
I think, I think, I think Mariah wants to keep it,
keep it Italian.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
What is Mariah's connection to Italy?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
What is Gaga's connection to France? What is Selene's connection
to France?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Be because the very nature of her being very oo
la la, I would say, is Gaga's connection She sang
l'vion rose in Starsborn.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Mariah is a diva. That's and that is an Italian inventure.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
That's what it is. You do realize that's what it is. Yes, Yes,
the diva is in it. I can't believe you are.
I can't believe you're having to ask no. Actually it
took me a second to get there. But do you
think It's like, well, if we're going to have someone
perform at the at the Italian Milan Cortina opening Ceremony,
it should be Mariah because she is the annational I'm
now I did think the choice was a little odd,
(19:03):
not that I ever like am not wanted to see Mariya,
But now it makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yes, bravisima, bravisimaaza should we should hang Mariah if you're
if you want to, if you need a hang, if
you if you want a fun little you know, if
you if you want to have a nice Billini together.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I actually would love the BILLIONI note the Billini, note
Mariya the diva, the diva. We'll get this. Let's talk
about the stage of the opening ceremony, and the stage
will feature a spiral shaped led structure at the center
of the pitch, symbolizing unity and connection. The narrative will
explore Italy's heritage past and present, including tributes to icons
like Leonardo da Vinci and a retrospective on Italian excellence
(19:45):
and innovation, design and culture. What's your favorite invention of
Leonardo da Vinci's the penis? Because I think he was
very gay.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
You think Leonardo DaVinci was gay, I'm this is this
is widely known?
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Is it is that?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
So?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Boys?
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Someone google it? Boys, someone google it. I just did
the math on we really should quickly mention. Okay, the
Paralympic torch, which is traveling two thousand kilometers in eleven
days February twenty fourth to March six.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Great, that is. Oh here's more quick math.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Four point two five miles per minute?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Got me again?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Or four for two minutes per mile? But you, you
are as comparably fast as the Olympic torch.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
A long time ago. Sometimes I sometimes I do. I mean,
y'all know this. I was gonna run a mile again,
but it never happened. It never materialized. This is a
nice project for you. I went to berries today. It
was hard. I know hard. I know everything's hard, like
every athletic pursuit is hard after when your bone density
(20:51):
goes well, Yes, of course, but I'm I'm saying between
the days of December twenty six, yes, and January fourth.
That's why I'm not even bothering. You're gonna wait till
we You're gonna wait till we get to Milan to
work out. Yes, are you going to go singing while
we're there.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I don't think. I don't think the trails are open.
That would be a really I you know what we'll see.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I'm just I think it could be fun. It could
be fun.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
I'm gonna app pray. I will at pray with a
billion billion. Note you're gonna avant?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Which is before? Does that eat? No? Avant?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
It just means before, so play means after, so avant
means before.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
How much Italian are you bringing to the game? That is?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
That was French?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
It's first language, French very much bone Yang's no mile
second language. You constantly are saying this because my.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
First language is Mandarin. Like in the house it was Mandarin.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
But your I guess your first fluent language was you
think Mandarin? Yeah? Sure, fluency? And how much Mandarin do
you know?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Not?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah? How would you say that in Mandarinien? Oh? Yes,
very good. I know. I'm good. I think I could
rock commander him. Remember when we went to Italy we
(22:26):
had Granita Grenita. Was that the name of the waitress? No,
oh my god, No, Grenita is you know what Grenita is.
It's that gorgeous lidine. No Grenita, right, it's it's the
gorgeous breakfast oh, hold on, what we have news about
whether Leonardo da Vinci was kay. While Leonardo da Vinci
(22:49):
never explicitly defined his sexuality, strong historical evidence and scholarly
consensus and I suggest he was likely or bisexual, with
his lifelong intimate relationships with men, particularly his longtime companion
Salai Salai pointing towards this, though some historians debate the
(23:15):
extent of his romantic involvement versus deep friendships. Well, that's
just also being gay.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Now, and let's not forget the Olympics were for people
to sit around and watch oiled up muscly guys throw
a disc Now, what is your favorite invention from Leonardo
da Vinci?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Oh, paintings. I loved the paintings.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Now let's talk about the opening ceremony. Yes, okay, so
oh we already have sorry, I think, well, no, here's
the things we've come to expect from the opening ceremony. Passini,
Laura Passini and more Leonardo Vinci. A spiral led stage
representing peace. Well, I'm sure Ilia and Shane are going
(23:59):
to be the iliot and Shane will be there. I'm
sure that they will honor Leonardo da Vinci live on
television cottage will be at the center of the of
the of the stage.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
I think the cottage is gonna be I think Mariah
Carey is going to come out like it's at the
tailor Swift aerostour and sit on top of the cottage sing,
you know whatever Italian ario she's going to sing, and
Shane and Eliot are going to be on the inside.
And if no one's gonna it's not gonna bother anyone.
It just is what it is. People wanted, They crave
it all over the world.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
It's mainstream, it's internationals, it's international. The Olympics were gay
leader was rumored to be gay. Must some scholars, you know,
dispute it.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So that's all only what's probably happening. Outside of that.
Here's what we can expect. The dramatic lighting of the
Olympic cauldron using unexpected final torch bearers tradition.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
It's always a surprise. It is gaggy. They always try
to gag you. In every city.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
It would be kind of who do you think who
would gag you? I mean it would be gaggy if
you were like, no, I have no interest in that.
It was you and they would.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Say Lemo and Yang Lemo and Lomo Chao, chomen eh
Leboen le.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Bowen as your diva name is really good. My parents
flap with.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
That NAMEY I love man name. Oh no, I love mateo.
Oh mateo your mateo eat it mateo.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Lane. Athletes march together under shared or unified flags. Well yes,
well yes. Large scale human mosaics formed by thousands of volunteers,
use of ice, snow and projection mapping to transform stadiums.
I'm excited about that. Mm hmm. Performances by children symbolizing
hope in the future, ceremonies emphasizing peace during times of
(25:42):
global tension.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
The only hope we have as an international community is
the Olympic Games.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
I would say that the world is in the words
of Linda Richmond from SNL Verklempt, the world is for
Klemps right now, artistic tribut It's the host nations, landscapes, folklore,
buzzword buzz and history and emotional first appearances of athletes
stepping into the Olympic arena. That really is.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
It's so inspiring, It's so inspiring. I want there's one
person missing, who someone who is very Who's who put Italy.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Back on the map, Lady got again.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Absolutely, I was thinking of someone else on Valentina from
My Lotus season two, not Snooky and Snooky and Nicole
polite Ci.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
So I think that there is obviously so much more
we could possibly discuss about the opening ceremony, but we
are running up on time here, so I think let's
talk about the three things we are most excited to
see with our silver golden bronze. I don't know why
that was that. I like. I like that. I like
that sort of clearing, clearing the order, the order.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I my bronze medal of the things that are that
we hope to see at the opening ceremony. Yes, my
bronze medal is us dressed in Prada. Yes, dressed in
thermals for Prada. Yeah, at the opening ceremony.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
I cannot wait to see what we look like. It's
gonna be really something that's gonna be very fun. Okay,
can I say silver? Yes? I want to see what
Laura Passini is giving. Yes, I think she's gonna gag.
I think that, like, listen, if you're they've only announced
really a couple people, and it's Laura Passini and Mariah carry,
(27:32):
which means Laura Passini is giving something probably at least
two and a half octaves of Mariah's five two and
a half. I would be so thrilled with how many
octaves do you have in your floor? Oh?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Not a non discreete two like been Barren, know that
for a fact.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
No, I don't. What about you tell us sexually? Four? Three? Ah?
Do you believe me that I say that? Doug? I
feel like I feel like I've heard more about well
I haven't done, Doug. Doug came to my Christmas and
I love that you felt four.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
As a professional sound engineer.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
You know who has four? Christina Aguilera, Mariah has five.
I wonder if Arianna has five? I think ARISI, Yeah,
she's such a brilliant vocalist.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
She's a brilliant vocalist and another Italian legend.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Oh my god, what is she? Do you know?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I know nothing? Oh please, don't don't do this. I
don't know anything.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Oh my god. Now it's going to be that thing
of like when I say on them like like oh yeah,
I bet Ariana will be there, and then it's like
all the orientators are going to break the news. Like
when I like when I broke the news of her
deluxe album.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Pop Crave is going to run with this. Bob Grave
says Ari to Grane to play Leonaro da Vinci, Muse.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
She'd be great. I would love to see Ariana come out.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I was gonna say my goal was gonna be what's
gonna be? Connor Story and Hudson Williamses. I want to
see them as Leo and Salai Ooh. I love that,
But I think the gold has to go to Mariah duh.
Gold has to go to Mariah.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
The Italian diva singing at the one and only big event.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
If she were to sing from the movie Moonstruck, when
the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie,
that's a Moore at the at the Milan Cortina Winter Olympics.
That's diva and diva lives to be changed, lives to
be changed.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
It's a pondat Homore Hey, beautiful sort of that was
That's two octaves right there. Three is very impressive. I'm
amazed by you. Thank you for that. I don't even
know what to say. I guess I'm a diva, a diva,
(29:55):
you know what.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
We've got a list of Gray Winter Olympics opening ceremonyment
sm past, We've got Lily Hammer, the guys skiing off
with the torch, Salt Lake.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
City, Torino.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Who could forget Pavaradi's last public performance.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
These are just a few other things you might see.
Twenty ten and Vancouver, a snowboarder flew through the Olympic
rings at the start of the opening stetmony like are
you kidding? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (30:17):
That's hot in Canadian like heated rivalry. Your move, Laura Passine,
your move, Pissine. And of course you could forget in
peng Chang when North end South Korea did the predo
nations out of the same flag. That's the world that
we hope for and seldom get, But at the Olympics
it is the proper occasion.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Will we get it? Stay tuned to see that and
what we're wearing at the opening ceremony. Follow the show
on the iHeartRadio app or your favorite podcast platform, and
watch on the NBC Sports YouTube channel.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
And watch and listen to every moment of the Winter
Olympics every sixth to the twenty second on NBC in
Peacock and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
We end every episode with the same jingle oh
Hosts And Creators
Matt Rogers
Bowen Yang
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