Jess Hilarious Opens Up on 'Til Death Do We Parent, Motherhood, Drama, Pregnancy & Radio Life + More
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
What's up is way up at Angela Yee and Jess
Hilarious has left the breakfast club and now she's.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
On way or another.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You already know what, but listen, Jess Hilarious. First of all,
I'm so glad to have you in here. I was
excited that they said you were going to come and
do way up for your book Till Death Dew we parents.
So congratulations, thank you Angela on this project. And initially
you talk about what made you write this book about
co parenting as opposed to another book?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Why was this on your heart? First?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Well, me and my son's father. Everywhere we go, people
are like, how do y'all, why do y'all call each
other brother and sister? How the hell can you even
look at somebody that she once laid with and had
a baby with as a brother. And I just I
think that that response is always because of the stigma
that's been put on black families, especially families period, but
(00:54):
black families especially because they always people always feel like
in black families, when the relationship doesn't make it, girl,
that's the end of everything, and it's it's impossible to
have a co parenting relationship, right Like they always feel
like it has to be dysfunction or toxicity or whatever,
(01:16):
and that's not me and Rome. Now we didn't always
Yeah it had to get there. Yeah, we had to
get there there. It's a roller coaster. But I love
how we ended up right, and that's that's That's pretty
much why I wanted to write the book. Now.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I'm glad you said it because there are people listening
right now who are going through it and to note
that they could come through on the other side and
actually be friends and may feel impossible at a certain time,
but I think for you, you've always said the goal
is that you have to make sure that Ash, your
son is good.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yes, absolutely, and people have to get to that point. Now.
The biggest problem with Rome was that Stevie Ja was
his role.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Model girl from the rip, like at the Jump, like
that was his Like he changed his Instagram name from
I forgot what it was to romey J.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
He had a chain made romy J. He made people
girls call him school because he went to Morgan State University,
one of the best HBCUs. He had people calling him
romy J.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You know, people don't understand the impact that watching these
shows really does have.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I know he was only in college, he was young.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
But people are impressionable and sometimes they think certain things
are cool. So while we might be like, you know,
we know that's ridiculous, this guy is out of his mind.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
People literally were like, I'm Stevie j.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Absolutely because when I was watching the show, I'm looking
at what a scumbag Stevie was. I'm like what, And
then I'm mad for me me. I'm mad. I'm mad
at Johncelyn at first, but then I'm mad for me me.
And then Rome is watching it from a different perspective
be like, oh, yeah he didn't he was mad. Yeah,
I need to be like that. Yeah the bus. Yeah,
And so I got off the bus real quick. I
(02:49):
ain't got time.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Not real quick though, well.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Not real quick, oh not real quick. I didn't know
that it was other passengers getting on and I was
the only one on the bus.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Job.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
It was letting people on the back of the us
in the front of the bus, all of us paying
their fair. Girl, you know, one question that we always
have as women is why do we stay so long
in a situation that we know isn't gonna work? And
we get all the red flags? So for people listening,
Let's talk about red flags. Okay, in a relationship? What
would you say are some red flags that women should
(03:20):
watch out for? Because you found out you were pregnant
at nineteen and this was something you really wanted to
make work. But for people who are listening, how do
you know what were some things for you that were
indicative that this is never gonna work?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Man? Well, honestly, I didn't. I'm not going to say
I didn't see the reflection what I did. I honestly
really did it. I really you ignored them. I ignored
them purposely for a while because I couldn't get over
the plan that I had thought that I written for
my own I've written for my own life. And that's
why I say God always had like I always say,
(03:55):
God has a sense of humor, because I know he
was like, look at you writing your story. You don't
even little nineteen year old ass, you're you're a baby,
you don't know, like, this is not gonna be who
I sent to you to marry and have all your
kids with. But the red flags were always how Rome
couldn't be by himself if I was away, if I
(04:16):
was like, because we couldn't be around each other twenty
four seven. He was in school then, you know, I worked,
and we lived on two on the opposite end of Baltimore, right,
so I lived over west, he lived over east. He
he could not be by himself, like he had to
always have somebody that he was talking to, somebody like somebody,
whether it was somebody else's girl or a girl that
(04:38):
he met in school, or somebody to keep his attention. Rome.
Rome always needed a female for every every different area
of his life where he felt like one female wasn't
fulfilling him in this area, he had to have another one.
And like he had a female best friend who he
wouldn't introduce me to it first. That's a riffic.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Reflet, right, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
And I'm like, and I even I didn't even write
about this, and I.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Was like, I recall that exactly friend.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
But I remember that when we had started dating, this
before I even found out I was pregnant, I was
like eighteen, eighteen year going on eighteen, and he would
not introduce me to her. Then he had this X
that he lived like two blocks from. She would pop
up at his house while I was over there. Just
all types, but but she wouldn't pop up like like
(05:29):
like she was trying to still deal with him. She
would pop up just to let me see her, to
see to see if I would be intimidated by her
because they weren't together, they weren't dealing with each other.
But the fact that he would never put her in
her place, the fact that he was just okay with
it and.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Thought, yeah, I would be that should never be happening.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
That should never be happening.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I needs to take care of those things so that
you're not affected by.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
That exactly exactly. Then I also seen a lot of
reflects when I when I saw like his family dynamic,
like with his dad, his dad was like never home,
you know, and so it was a lot of and
his dad was married to his stepmother, you know, and
it was a lot of infidelity that his dad was
(06:08):
putting his step mother through. That's why we never saw
We never saw him. And Rome would vent to me
like about how he wish his father was there because
his mother was deceased, and how he had to change
his life completely. So it was a lot of venting
that Rome would do and I would hear it and
I would know instantly laying next time. Why he's venting
(06:31):
to me like he need a therapist. But also, this
is not supposed to be the person. This is not
the person that I see myself with, Like he's very he.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Got a lot to work on, and you can't fix him.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
I can't fix him with the same age. I don't
even know, like what I'm even doing here laying in
his basement all the way across town. My parents would
with my ears.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Yes, oh yeah, and thank god your mama's that you
ain't raising that baby in that man's basis.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yes, because yo, I was really so delusional, Angela, I
really try to that. I was like, my I want
to go home with my son in the basement with
a can't sit in everything, And she was like, no,
you're not. So.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
You know, we always talk about women growing up without
their mom or without their dad and their life in
the right way, and sometimes I don't think we had
that conversation about what men go through when they don't
have their father around, or you know, we had a
stepmother who wasn't very affectionate and how that affected him
and not giving that as an excuse, but more like
(07:30):
a reason why he was the way that he was
that he wasn't really kind of lasered in on.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah. So his stepmother was. She was a very militant woman.
She was the provider. Like whatever they needed, she made
sure she got it for them. She you know, like
provided a roof over their head, clothes on their back,
you know, water, anymo food, you know, food on the
table and everything. Like I said, we we hardly saw
his father. Yeah, he hardly saw his father. So his
(08:00):
stepmom stepped in. And it was four boys that she
was raised raising, including Rome, you know, three of them hers.
Rome is not her son, but she is treating him
as if he is hers, you know, and she's carrying
basically the whole household, you know, but she was not.
I also did get to observe while I was there
living in the basement that she was not much of
(08:23):
a nurturer. I never really saw her like coddle her
kids or hug them, kiss on them, tell him I
love you, or anything like that. It was really none
of that. And that was big for Rome because before
his mom had passed, he was her world. Yes, her
only child, and yep, he was sleeping in bed with
(08:43):
his mom. And you know, she she was a nurturer
and was very affectionate, you know, and that was that
was that was a big uproot for his life, you know.
And so I think him not ever getting any therapeutic
consolation for any of that that that affected him in
(09:04):
his adult life, even he probably.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Didn't see a lot of people doing therapy either.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Nope, at that time.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
No, you also never put him on child support.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Now, I think this is an interesting conversation because the
light to be off at the house and things would
be going on, and he wouldn't want to give you
money even though you were the primary caregiver for Ash
and he was staying with you, And it's not like
you were blowing the money. You were responsible enough to
make sure that you could at least go buy some candles.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah, you had no lights, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
When I wasn't when I wasn't failing them, I was
definitely going to buy the candle. Yeah, I was like, yeah,
I had to make it work.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yes, And I want to ask your thoughts about child support.
Do you feel differently like when you look back at that,
because there is a certain responsibility and I always feel
like when a man is not stepping up to handle
what he needs to handle financially. Sometimes that is the
route that people have to go.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Yeah. Well, for me it was very different because, first
of all, roaming over handl dam so I was like,
it's gonna be I don't know what right, I don't
know where the course is gonna even get the money
from for him until he came into the settlement that
I didn't know he had until he had blurted it
out one day in conversation telling me a story about
(10:17):
one of his other child's moms, And I'm like, hold up, Nick,
you got some money? Hey, Like you weren't about the
wrong ish, No, I'm not. I'm actually worrying about the
right is because I've been over here struggling, light's been
off all that me and ASH like what And So
even with that being said, I with me finding out
that information, because he went through that money real quick.
(10:39):
I just never wanted to. I never ever wanted to
take him down child support. I never did. I my
thoughts on it though, if you do, if you do
need it, you're a mom and you are struggling, and
that other parent is not helping you sustain the raising
(10:59):
your child out. You have to do that. Sometimes you
have to do it but a lot of times women
do it out of spite. A lot of times women
do it to get back at the father. A lot
of times men do it to get back at the mother.
I know men that, yes, they have taken their children's
(11:19):
moms down to the courts to get child support because
she does not want to be with them and she
moved on with another man. But that happens, and that's
when it's toxic, because why would you involve the courts
because your feelings are involved if you really don't need
to go down there, because because it's hard, it's easy
to put them on child support, but it's hard to
(11:40):
take them off. It's very, very hard.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
But sometimes people end up paying less than they would
have had to anyway. Right, it is all based on
like a lot of different things. I just was like,
I was annoyed that he wasn't giving you no money.
It was you know what I'm saying, because yours And
he was acting like he just couldn't like if I
give you this, I'll take myself, but I won't get
you any money.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Like he was like, no, I ain't gonna put no
money of your hands, but I'm gonna I'm gonna take
my son off your hands until you get yourself together. Na,
you never taking my son off my hands. I don't
even No, I don't even trust that. Like I'm his
primary parent and I was. I was young, but Ron
was young too. I grew up a lot quicker than
he did. Rome was very childish in a lot of ways,
(12:22):
and I just didn't I did not trust him to
have ash full time while I get myself together. No,
I can get myself together and raise my son. That's
what mothers do.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So when it comes to Ashton knowing this story about
how he was brought on into this planet, and I
know he's gonna has he read this and advance?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Not yet, but he said he will, And I am
nervous about that.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
That's what I wanted to ask because listen, trusting believe
my dad would be like you almost was here, you know,
because decisions that parents.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Have to make.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
But it's a reality and it was a blessing to
have him. But does he know the full story of how?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
No? Okay, no, he does not. And that's one thing
in writing the book. That's why I was wrestling back
and forth mentally, like, oh do I put the part
in here about not even wanting him until he was
like six five six months. I was wrestling back and
(13:27):
forth in my mind because I'm like, I never want
him to feel like, well, damn, you didn't want me,
but you wanted my little sister, you know what I'm saying.
I But at the same time, I'm like, I have
to I can't leave out these important parts because this
can help somebody, you know, this can this can raise
awareness of how and then it's just real, it's vulnerability.
(13:48):
I'm like, yo, are you in nineteen? I was nineteen
and I was twenty when I had him, and I
had a breakdown one day. I'm like, yo, cause I
just if I'm reliving it. I'm like, yo, Rome was
out here doing his thing. He was going to parties
and living a life and in the clubs and you know,
still hanging out with his friends. I'm not able to
do none of that. I got a new baby at home.
I had to move back with my mom, and my
(14:10):
mom is like, huh uh, I'm not watching this baby
while you go out and be with your friends. No,
you should have thought about that before you made the
decision to lay down with him unprotected, and then you
made a decision to have the baby. So I was
jealous and I was bitter, and I was like, yo,
I'm stuck here after I made a decision because it
would break his heart if I was to get an abortion,
(14:32):
and I'm like, I don't know what to do, and
so I was. I remember breaking down and I'm crying
ashing the crib and I'm like, yo, why would you
pick me to be your mother? Like why would you
even pick me to do this? I don't know what
I'm doing? And I'm crying, I'm throwing shit all over
the place. And he did like a little smart aside smirk,
like as a six month old baby, I swear Angela.
(14:54):
He was like like he just side smirk as if
to say, like, girl, you're doing so much. You gotta relax.
Like whatever I the next be it, but you're gonna
take care of me. And right then and there, like
I looked in the mirror, crazy ugly tearss and I
bust out laughing and You're like, yeah, you definitely don't
see much. And I went over to the crib and
I picked him up and he just laughed, drooling all
(15:14):
on me, and I'm like that was the moment, right
there that it was like I do want you, I'm
ready to be a mom. I don't care what I
gotta do right, I want my son.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
And that was also I'm sure postpartum is a real thing.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Yes, when you look back at it and think, you
may not realize I did not, because there are women
that feel so guilty after having a baby, a feeling
like what did I do? I don't Yeah, And now,
like you said, looking back on it, that's more than
likely what that was. I just felt like I felt ugly.
I felt like ashamed of myself. I felt like I
(15:46):
don't know what to do. I don't like I felt like, honestly,
I wanted to give him to my mother and just
run away. I wanted to hurt roam so bad, like.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I girl was a And imagine going through all of
that and he's running around with other women having the
time of his life.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
On my Space Facebook like yeah, yeahm out head, what's
up y'all? Like girl, Oh my god, A real life
Jody from Baby Boy. That's what he was.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
One of the things that you managed to get over.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
And I'm not going to give away too much of
the book, but this is early on where you guys
have his first birthday party. Yes, and Rome showed up
with a whole other chick late.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And you had no idea he was going to do that.
You had a plan. But to his defense, you did
tell him the care wasn't here.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
I know. I I rang the bell, y'all.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
I sure did. I did.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
We were arguing and and and the reason why I
did that is and you're never supposed to do that.
Ladies do not ever do that.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Right baby anyway?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah, so many men have heard that. Listen, and they
might believe it. And they, yes, they might believe it.
And how that comment even came about me telling him
that we was already argument cause somebody and we would
were in a car and somebody had called his phone
and you know how the phone plugged up to the car,
but Dow don't want to answer it, and it's like
no answer for White, And I ask, there's somebody from
(17:10):
school showing now and she helped me with my homework. Hi, okay,
so if it's your tutor, answer the phone. And it
was somebody he was dealing with, you know what I mean.
And so we were arguing about.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
It that whole night.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
And I was like that's why your son not chure
us anyway. And I expected for him to I know,
I expected him to keep going back and forth like
be this, beat that or whatever. He just like took
a deep breath and he hung up the phone. I
was like, oh my god, Oh my god. And because
I was so used to the argument. So then we
do the birthday party and he show up like two
(17:43):
hours late or an hour and a half late with
another girl with greasy ass tricks.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Crazy, but she didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
She did not know what was going on. I'm not
gonna yeah, I know, right. And I've seen him since
then too. I've seen.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Maybe flip flops to her feet with hair off the bank.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Very much dirty, I know, I know because of flip flops.
But girl, yes, and he came in there I'm talking about.
He came in and looking like he was at his
album release party. Like ready, my brother was wording whip
his ass too.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Well. Thank god for the brother, thank god, thank god.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
You've been through so much in that relationship and you
really did try to hold on. But in the midst
of all that, you also moved on with somebody that
could have been great, but that was not God's plans.
No at that time, or your plan, your goal in
your head, in your mind, you really wanted to have
this family, you know, and be with the man. And
(18:40):
even no matter what he did, he could always manage
to talk his way and maneuver his back way in
there with you.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
When do you feel like that window finally closed?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
When I changed my mindset, I had to change my mindset,
and the mindset that I had before was like, no
matter what, you know, I'm not going to give up.
Rome is going to somehow wake up and the coffee
one day and be like, yo, I got a good girl.
I'm laying I'm retiring that the player jersey. I'm going
to be with her, We're gonna have more kids, I'm
(19:11):
gonna marry her. Blah blah blah. That's what my fairy
tale was in my mind. That was my whole mindset.
I'm going to be a wife and a mother. Once
I stopped trying to force that peace into the puzzle
that it didn't belong, I changed my mindset. I'm like, Okay,
I just need to accept that this is going to
(19:31):
be a cycle of behavior that I have to change
and let that go because just because we don't make it,
just because he ain't my person, that's not the end.
And then I really had a moment where I was like,
I'm only twenty I'm only twenty one, Like.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Yo, yeah, yeah this is this is not like, this
is not going to be my life.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Girl. This ain't even ah the surface of what I
supposed to be doing yet, you know. So that immediately
kicked in and I was like, I'm never looking back.
And then it was also what put the icing on
the cake was Rome had another baby on the way
and he didn't tell me that that. I ended up
finding that out on social media.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Because you posted, because I posted, that's how you can
find out, That's how you draw in her what's really happening,
and put up that house baby yup.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I put up a post of me, him and our son.
Once we had reacquainted, got together, We felt good. We
down in Baltimore. You know, he took us out on
the day I posted it, and I wake up to
a comment, oh yeah, he got my homegirl, we got
my cousin pregnant or whatever. He overhead playing house with
his baby mother, and I was like, girl, my whole
heart dropped in my ass like I didn't get up
(20:43):
to go to work the next day, I did not
even take my son to school. I was and Rome
denied it. Not. Yeah, but you can't deny a baby.
It's gonna come out, honey, that's a while. Like when
did he think you weren't?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:54):
You know. So after doing some digging, I found out
not only did they have a baby on the way,
but he was in a relationship with the girl.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Like how was he getting away with all of this?
And the fact that he was okay with you posting
the family too. You didn't think that was going to
be seen and you know, no, you do not literally
had to get into fist fights, yes, and which is wow, jest,
we didn't want to.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, this nerviies. Thank god you.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Can fight, Yes, thank god I can. Thank god I can,
because girl, that was at fist fighting over your man,
that ain't your man. And I said, that's the crazy thing.
I wasn't even fist fighting over him.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I wasn't. We were, We were done, eyebrows. And yeah,
I'm gonna say.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Okay, y'all gotta read the book figure to find out
over eyebrows. I promise you I was not fighting over Rome.
It is not. At that point, I was done with it.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Now, let's talk about decisions that you feel like you've
made in relationships up until the one that you have now,
and kind of there was a pattern there too with.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
You, you feel like, yeah, it was. It was a lot.
You would think I learned from Ashton's father who to pick,
who not to pick, what to tolerate, what's inappropriate to me,
what to stand for whatnot. But I didn't. I feel
like the guys just got worse and worse and worse after.
(22:16):
You know, I totally closed that chapter with the wrong
and you know what it was, Angela, It was just
me thinking about myself. I wasn't really thinking about my
son and also us being a package. Like if you
date a woman with kids or a kid, whatever, she's
a package. You don't only date her. You can't only
(22:38):
just deal with her. You have to if it's long term,
if you're taking her serious, you have to consider being
a father figure to our kid. Like that's just what
it is, you know. I wasn't dating like that, Like
I was just worried about me and fulfilling whatever whatever
void I thought I needed filled, you know, And so
(22:59):
I meet someone else and then they're not right that
I meet someone else and they not right. And what
they all had in common was they weren't right for
my son right what they were cool for me, not
even right for me. It was just something that.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I they're not right for your son, They're not right for.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
You, definitely not right for me. So that's what that was.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
What advice would you give to women who are navigating
that space of dating while they have a child, who,
like you said, it's a package deal. But what are
some things that you would say to women right now
who are like, how do I know when to like
and to do somebody? How do I know when somebody's
right to bring somebody into my life? How do I
break the news? Do I need to tell the father first?
They need to meet the father? From your experience, what
(23:39):
would you say.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Well, honestly, it depends on whether this is for the
father part. It depends on the relationship that the mom
has with the co parent, Like, are they in a
good enough space for her to come and introduce somebody
that she's dealing with to them? You know, cause a
lot of fathers ain't ready for that. They'll never be
ready for that. As long as they they'll got those
(24:00):
feelings I'm sorry for the mom. As long as they
still got feelings for the mom, They're never gonna be
ready to be like open that door to be like
all right, cool, you the God that's gonna be around
my son. You the God's gonna be around my kids,
my daughter? All right? Cool? You know, but I would say,
before you introduce that guy or that lady to your kid,
(24:20):
you have to do any evaluation. I think everybody should
date like this, Like you have to know about past
childhood traumas. How are you with children? If you don't,
cause everybody don't have children, you know, if you how
are you with children? Okay? Cool, you never had any Okay,
that doesn't totally ex them out if they don't have children.
You just got to see how they are in certain situations.
(24:43):
How do you deal with anger? Like how do you
deal with somebody when you're angry with them? Because that
was a that was a big toxic point for me,
Like how I dealt with guys when I got angry
with them? How they dealt with me when they got
angry with me? You know what I mean? Like it
wasn't good, it was it became physical. Who A lot
of times I used to put my hands on men
(25:03):
and you know they will put their hands on me back.
But it's like, I ain't scared. I'm not calling the police.
I'm just letting you know. This ain't gonna fly, you
know what I mean. So it was you you have
to You can't. You don't have to be totally healed,
because that's a journey.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Like who is totally healed?
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Girl? Nobody? I really honestly feel like that journey stuff
and life keeps lifing. While you're healing from one thing,
another thing can be hurting you. You know, Can I
just have one day of the peace? Just peace, right
peace all the way around. So, yeah, you gotta evaluate
these people. You gotta have like interviews at dinner. Don't
be looking and when you get into somebody, don't be
(25:40):
in the phone all day posting saying, oh this is cute.
He bought me here, he took me here, whatever, Like, no,
it ain't even about that. Does he know his mom?
Does he have a relationship with his mom? Does he
know his dad? Is he trying to find his dad? Like?
How is he his grandmother raised them? Okay, what does
she teach him. What are the qualities like is he
emotionally intelligent? Like all of those things I wish that
I had known back then, but that's the part of
(26:03):
living and things like that.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
How are you going to have a conversation with Ashton
before he read Are you gonna talk to him first?
You're gonna let him read it and then talk to him, Like,
what's the plan?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
I would love to talk to him because I don't
want him to read that part about me being unsure
whether I wanted to keep him or not and keep
him or not, or like not wanting a baby that
young after I had already had him. I want to
be able to explain where I was in that moment,
(26:37):
explain my age, and just explain, not making excuses, but
being real with him as this is what it was.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
It wasn't about him.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
It was about like even like you said, he was
doing so Rome was doing so much while you were pregnant,
you were kind of by yourself, but not just by yourself,
but also going through a lot of like devastating yans exactly.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
That wasn't a joyful No, he was not fun.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
And you know I'm on TV. I'm watching TV of
big pregnant women. I used to watch. I used to
watch other show used to come on a and A,
Oh my god, what the baby story? And I would
see couples and the man is roughing, Yes, all the
classes and stuff right, and then the appointments and stuff
(27:22):
they're enjoying together, and then talking about what the baby
name is gonna be, and ah, he's gonna act like you,
and he's gonna act like you, you know, not saying Roman.
I didn't have any of those moments, but it just
was a devastation because he wasn't faithful, he wasn't loyal
that whole time, and I'm like, damn. I made the
decision of keeping my child because I didn't want to
(27:43):
upset you, because I know you lost your mom, and
I know this is going to bring you some type
of uh, you know, comfort and company and give you
someone to love in place of a person that you
lost that you loved the most. And so I was
going through all of that, you know what I mean,
and that that just made it very hard. But I'm
going to talk to him.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
What about your parents to it now?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
I know in the beginning they were supportive of you,
but we don't hear much about like because you didn't
really want to let them know no everything that you
but trust and believe like you said, you know them
church people was talking Yeah, real bad. Yes, because it's
like you said, it's Baltimore. It was small and everybody
knows everybody.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
And imagine having to tell your parents not only that
you're pregnant, but hey, this is my boyfriend too. They
didn't even know that I was dating anybody like they did. It.
Not that they expected me to be like oh to myself,
like no, I'm in a corner all day, like house
on a prairie or like anything like that. It wasn't that.
It was just the fact that I had never introduced anybody.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
To them to be that was the first.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
So that was the first, and I had to tell
them all that in one conversation. Hey, this is my
boyfriend Rom who I've been staying over his house in
the basement. If you can't spy the way and I'm pregnant. Boom,
It's like, okay, how do we do it? All that?
Back up? What you know what I mean? And my father,
although he is he was the lenient parent parent growing up,
(29:09):
he still was like he was the most disappointed in
me because I never talked to him about dating having sex.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
What it's like, Yeah, so you never had that sex conversation.
Not that did I with my parents? Okay, so that's
the thing.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
It is a thing.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
How do you feel like that now?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Because being a mom of two, you gotta have that
kind Have you had that conversation?
Speaker 3 (29:29):
I've had the conversation with Yeah, yeah, my daughter's one.
But I had the conversation. Yeah I know, I know,
but I was like, what, I have the conversation with him.
But I think Ashton is more comfortable with talking about
like sex and all that with his dad and my
husband because he opens up a lot more to them
(29:49):
about like even the girl that he's dating now, like
you know, his girlfriend who he's been with for a while. Whatever.
It is hard, Like he don't even want me to
meet her yet, like you don't matter, no, but he
introduced my mom to her.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
That's so funny.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah, I'm like, wow, what is going on? He's like,
you're going to meet it because that's probably gonna be
letting me here too, Like yeah, yeah, so I don't
know whether he's like protecting that, Like wait, everybody just
can't meet my mom because you know, you know what
my mom is. You know, I don't know, but I
feel shut out. I don't like it because because my
husband and my and his father Rome, they're really close
(30:28):
that like they're close. They they assist each other in
raising Ashton you know what I'm saying, and they have conversations.
Ash tell him stuff and I'm like, well I want
to know, and Ash be like chill, chill, belove it.
He got this new thing where he absolutely so, yeah,
I wish I did. I wish he did talk to
me more.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
But even after that, when initially they found out, did
you kind of like keep all of it because there
was so much drama going on, and even like introducing
them to another guy like did Manual.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yes, Emanuel met both of my parents. My father was
very relieved to find out that I had met someone
like Emanuel, right, because my father early on didn't particularly
care for wrong I'm sure yeah, no, not yes. He
was like nah, but he was like okay, all right, cool.
He wasn't like overly inviting, like oh yes, finally, but
(31:22):
he was he was more open to a man like Emanuel,
like Okay, he's older, he can teach her something. He
is mature, he has a job, he works like, he's
family oriented, he's close with his mom, and he's like older, old,
the oldest of all of his siblings and things like that.
He just had different qualities. And my mom, my mom
(31:45):
is a deacon in the church. She don't judge. Nobody
should pray for everybody. Everybody is so she loves, she
loves everybody into very close. Like she immediately like got
close with him though, like I don't know what it
was that she saw in him, not even just for me.
She was just like this, this boy has clearly been
(32:06):
through a lot, and he needs love, he needs comfort,
he needs nurturing. And my mom was that for him
since day one. So yeah, but yeah, it was a
lot of drama surrounding that. So when I met email
you and I was like, okay, this is my night
and shine and arbor. And then once it down with
rome and instead of I thought I was doing something good.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
So interesting because you avoided Rome I for such a
long time. But in a way it maybe you knew
that seeing him again, he'll be able to manipulate you
into you know, continuing that cycle that had been going on.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
That's why I was so oh. That's why I was
like reluctant to meet with him. I was like, nah,
I ain't trying to do it. I knew in the
back of my mind, like if I see him again,
all the feelings are going to rush back, and I'm
going to let him weave that way and get me
back into the trap. I knew that, but I wasn't
being honest with myself because I was like, out of sight,
out of mind. As long as I'm saying I can
(33:03):
get over the good Yeah, No, No, you laid down
with this man, You'll produced a seed like you gave
birth to something, Like you're connected to him in a way.
You need to detach yourself intimately from him before you
can move forward and not have those feelings. And what
I thought was going to be a meeting of conclusion, No,
(33:24):
he basically did what he had always done, started saying
all the right things, and I thought I was doing
something good. I'm like, you know what, instead of cheating
on my man that I got home with you, I'm
going to go home, break up with him, and be
a good woman about it and then try to give
my family another chat.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I was like, damn, Jess, you were supposed to say, well,
let me think about it.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Goofy, goofy.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
I'm gonna tell you the most heartbreaking thing is when
somebody says to you, I can't even look at you the.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Same anymore, Angela. That's like the worst.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
When it's like, no, I'm not even like it's also
it's kind of like being you discussed me.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Yes in a way yes, and that's the more respectful
way to say it, though, like I can't libet you
to say but that's how it hits. You discussed me,
and then and then when they hit you with them,
such and such told me this was going happen. When
he said that, I was like, no, my god, I
was girl. That's why I gotta read the book. But
that that was one of the most heartbreaking parts to
(34:22):
relive writing the book because when I was when I
was pregnant. I wrote the book while I was pregnant,
so I had a whole bunch of episodes. I was
like upset and I was mad, and then I had
pregnancy brain too, so I couldn't remember certain things and
I had to call Rome and now he's helping me
relive the stuff, and I'm like nigga, that's why I
hated you. And He's like, damn your chill, that's why
(34:44):
I didn't even want to tell you. I didn't even
want to remind you about what I did, y'all. You know,
but that, yeah, it was, it was. That was one
of the most heartbreaking parts.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
It's interesting because you've also been having conversations with this
book coming out based around and like you have Rome's
ex girlfriend, baby Mom.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yep, you had her on the podcast with you.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Would you have Amanuel on and have a conversation, girl,
I would love to hear.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
I actually would love to talk to you may as well.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I do not know.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
The last time I checked Emy was in jail. Oh okay,
I don't know. I can call you collect we won't
get some type of way right, Yes, yes, you said
him down the wrong past girl. He got shot in
the butt and everything like it was yes, I know,
and I know everybody gonna be like, for real, I
swear that's real. I heard that he got shot right
(35:40):
in his ass, yo, and I was like, oh my god,
I want to know if you're okay, But I couldn't
reach him or anything. And the crazy thing is I
used to work with his sister at like at McDonald's. Like, yes,
it was crazy, steal from girl real, I would Rechester
write at night like not playing. But yeah, I am
gonna try because that was the last last time I
(36:00):
heard that he was in jail. He might be home now,
this was like two years ago, so I'm gonna try
to see. But I would definitely love to.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Sit down with him. That would be a good one. YEA, Yeah,
that's a tough conversation.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
It is.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
So you have insight unto what happened with Ice Spice
and McDonald's. You have a girl listen. I didn't even
know that there was a second altercation.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
So first of all, the street after that, yues, I
was so mad at her to see that that happened,
because I'm like, yo, you're from New York, brace yourself.
You can't talk about somebody's body language that they ready fight.
They raised squabble. The video, the same video I watch,
is the same video everybody else watch. The girl had
her hands on the table leaning over like that didn't
look like no fan, It looked like somebody's pressing you,
(36:41):
Like and for the first words to come out to
your mof to be is where you from. I ain't
gonna tell you where I'm from. I'm standing up, we
guffing like I'm we fighting. I'm sorry, Yes, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Okay, we don't do that no more, no, not no, no, no, no,
oh my god. When you're the book and you see
her rolling up to fight somebody, okay, I was like, Jess,
you know, it's interesting to me right now the space
that you're in on the breakfast clab and I just
(37:11):
want to talk about now because you've always done just
with the mess, You've always done your stand up. But
it's different for people now when they hear you on
the radio and then you have to report on things,
and sometimes people don't like it.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Yeah no, because you know what it is, girl. That
job is for a journalist. That's what that is, and
that is not what I am. I am a comedian
that do commentary on headlines, and it's different doing just
what the mess on the radio is very different because
for the most part, you really have to see it,
(37:43):
you know what I mean. You can't. I'm such a
visual type of comedian. You can't just listen, although you can,
but certain things, Yo, you got to be able.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
To see it.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Because I'm expressive as well. And although you know, Breakfast
Club is a visual podcasts and everything too, the people
in their cars like, it's still primarily radio, you know
what I'm saying, And it's hard.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
And on the app you have to listen.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying, upping on an app,
So it's it's hard for me to do it. So
I just was like, nah, it's not Breakfast Club is
not the right space for just with.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
The mess right, And you know, because it's interesting because
I'll run into people sometimes if I report something, they'll
be mad about it, and I'm like, why y'all mad
at me for reporting something that everybody else. And the
other thing I realized too, is that you could talk
great about somebody like a thousand times, if there's one
time that you're like, yeah, I didn't really like that song.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Or whatever, then that's a problem. It's a problem. They
forget everything else that they said, knowledge.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
That it's not like they hit you up like thank
you for saying that, thanks for the prompliment.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
But as soon as there's one.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Thing negative, and it don't even have to be real negative,
you could just you can just.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
The opinion holds so much more weight in the space
that you're in. What has that adjustment been like for
you though, I mean it's been years now.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Uh people, I had to be honest. The only person
that got mad at me saying anything, it's still uh,
what's her name, sexy Red. It's still sexy she She's
not mad anymore, but she was upset. She walked in
with this. I first started and she had walked in
(39:23):
and I was like, she was pregnant. I worked the
hug and she was like, I don't do what you
just like, I don't like it. And I was like,
damn what I do? And she couldn't even remember what
I did. I think I called it like a dweb
or something like something that's like, you know, that's a
remark that I learned from my white friends in high school,
like you do weep. She ain't like that, you know
what I mean. But after like ten minutes, she was cool.
(39:46):
Oh Jim Jones, Oh Jim Jones. Jones know that he
felt a little way about something because I just sat
down with him and did his podcast for my book
as well, and he was like, man, damn this book. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
It was like he wasn't that mad if he had
you on though.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, but he definitely wanted me
to know that he did feel a low way, you
know about I guess I had said something about his
studio band a little cold. Oh you know.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Everybody was having jokes about that.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Yeah, because they always layered up. They always got on
colts and stuff, you know, at the tough winter, you know,
and that's what And I even seen in the back
of the video that said fifty nine degrees one time.
He the one that got the thermostat and the damn camera. Okay,
so I said, all I did was zoom, Jim, you know.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
And I seen fifty nine.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
I know they cold in there, you know, but the
weather is breaking its spring now, and I was in
there the other day and it's not cool.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Okay, good, I'm glad to hear. Yeah, it's cold right now, but.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
It's definitely cool. Yeah, I'm glad I ain't had to
go there today, but it's like now, Jim, I'm joking,
I'm joking, but nah, it was pretty cool. But yeah,
she was literally the person who got the maddest and honestly,
I didn't even really think she was real serious. About that.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah, she you know, and like you said, she forgot
what it was and then it felt like things moved
over you hand.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
Yeah, and God, think about it. She was pregnant. Imagine
waking up every day. She was like eight months pregnant.
Just imagine waking up every day. And online you got
your fan base, but you see a bunch of people
just coming at you about anything and everything. You although
she brings a lot of it on herself because of
how she you know, what she put out there, you know,
how she behaved, things she say, But when you pregnant,
(41:25):
it amplifies. It's amplified, you know, because now you're taking
everything into account. You're sensitive about everything. So I understood.
But nah, she by the end of the interview, she
was inviting me to the baby shower and everything. So
it really wasn't a problem problem.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Yeah, No, that's good. I love to see it. So
how is it for you being here in New York
all the time?
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Too?
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Girl?
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Girl? Uh, still trying to adjust. I love New York,
but I love New York to visit and then take
my airds home, Like for real, ain't no grass, ain't
no trees, ain't nothing. All these different smells. I'm coming
the world. I cannot understand how you know what I
rolled past the other day. I roll past on my
(42:06):
way back to Jersey City. I roll past this restaurant
right and we had like eighty degree weather last week,
and it was like an outdoor part of the restaurant
and right next to it, big big, big, big, big
stacks of trash. Oh trash.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
I'm like, yo, there's definitely rats right there.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Is that.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Okay, out there dining in New York, there's gonna be
rats running under your feet.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
And the white people was just there like, yeah, you
want another chance for my Margarina? Like they were just
like chilling, like.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
We got to get the binds together.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
Yeah want nobody blacks it right there? But the white people,
they look the is the friends of them? What about
waking up early, I'm still trying to adjust to that. That.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Let me tell you, that's something I never adjusted to.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
You never adjusted to it.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
The show in my life he got used to get it.
People say, oh, you're used to it now. It's not
anything I ever got adjusted to. And I felt like,
damn is pregnant, and then had a newborn and I
had to get up early.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
That's a lot of work. Yes, doing doing makeup every
morning and listen. When I first got the job, I
was like, you know what, I'm gonna try to make
a fashion statement every day.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Oh yeah, it's not gonna wear girl.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
No getting up at three thirty.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
In my sweats every day. People would be like, shit, sorry,
I got dressed. Sometimes I'll get dressed in the dark
because my eye is not fully open adjusted, and you'll
be like.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Oh, it don't match.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
Oh you wouldn't even hit it.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
You woldn't even see till I have to work, And
I'd be like, damn, yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
I'm still trying to adjust to that. So all of that,
you know, jazz, no makeup, Oh my god, no wig
no nothing. Honestly, no, I'm up here. No, I'm one
of them.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
But it feels good. They're going on tour for the
book as well.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Yes i am. I'm going to promote tour for the book.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
That's amazing. Yeah does so?
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Does it feel good? It does feel good, just in
an amazing space, yes it. Listen, you celebrated a year.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
Yes, I just celebrated a year of marriage with my
husband Chris, and girl, guess what I did a day
before the anniversary, lost my ring.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Girl, No okay, no.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
Ask somebody else, try I still the job. No, no girl,
not not for a second time. Only take one person.
Can't miss no day girl, no no days. But no man,
I lost my ring Yo, yes I did. And I
tried to backtrack, like, oh my god, waited I lost
it Thursday, but I was like my anniversary. It was Friday,
(44:34):
so I was like, you know what, I remember the
last place I had it was in my husband's truck.
So I get home from work Friday morning and I'm like,
all right, let me go check in the truck. My
husband got his truck detailed inside and out, so I
couldn't find it was squeaky clean. I couldn't find nothing.
And if they found it, it's over. It's over. It
is over, yo. And so especially if the Mexican too,
(44:57):
because if you go back and you'd be like did
you they can act like down speak English. Don't do that.
I'm just saying it because girl want to be like
I don't understand, Like, no, no, you understand, so girl,
And I thought so I thought he was playing a
trick on me, like you know what, he probably found
to hit it and he's gonna pop out with it
at dinner or whatever he takes me today. No, So
(45:18):
this is what I did. I went to him. I
was like, I know you got my ring, Like, can
you just give it to me already? He was like,
what your ring? Yeah, you don't have it on. You
haven't warned today, like, and I was like, psych, I
lost it. I thought that he had it, yo. So
I was just going off the fact that he had it,
trying to and he was like, no, no, you had
(45:38):
you don't have your ring on, and it's your anniversary.
He was more upset with the fact that I lost
it a day before our anniversary.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I thought, this is gonna have a good ending.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
No, it's still bad.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Damn. Is it insured?
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Yes, of course yes, it's insured. So yeah, but it
just hurts me to tell you that I didn't. I know,
but I it just still hurt me that I lost
it on my first anniversary.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Like, you know, they have your ring there too.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
I know.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
I know somebody got a nice gift.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Yes, girl got a big, a big hello, but.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
I'm sorry to hear that. I was waiting for you
to be like and then I found it.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
No, No, so we're we're gonna get another one because
he did get it in short, thank god.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
But yeah, how was it now, like relationship wise? Getting married?
And how do you know like what to post what
not to post? Because we know you from social media
you went viral that way first. So how do you
feel about like, cause you know people always want to
weigh in and have things to say, and I know, girl,
relationship wise, he may not be wanting to be like.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Yeah, he is in the mix, the total opposite, right,
So you can literally only find I can count on
my hand how many pictures I have posted of my husband.
We've been together for three years and we've only been
married for one but been together for three years. And
he is not the person that likes to be in
pictures and videos and all up, all up and everything.
(47:02):
Now he is not the of the label like now.
He does not like to be in anything.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
How do you feel about doctor Umar.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
He actually find doctor Umar real funny to be honest,
but I had to I had to lie to doctor
Umar yo because he Yo, he'd be in the business
for real yo, And I ain't got time for no
pro black lecture like Yo, I'm black, trust me. I
love our sisters and brothers, Joe, but this is who
I'm with and that is what it is, you know.
(47:31):
But yeah, my husband does not like to be in
the limelight at all, and so that that's been a
that's been an adjustment because I've been trying to get
him to do like couple's content stuff like that. Hein
really open is I can feel him opening up to it,
but not really Yeah, like lower stuff. He uh, he's
(47:54):
not really for it, but he he's gonna start hopefully
he's getting more comfortable.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
With what do you think about this? Health?
Speaker 1 (48:00):
I had this conversation with Laura Coats about social media
being addictive and you know how you monitor that even
for yourself? Yes, because that is something with you you
have to be. You're on the phone a lot, You're
creating content. It's not easy to do because some of
it is requires like editing and how how is that?
And how does Chris phil about that?
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Honestly, we had a moment where this was not too
long ago, this is like last year sometime where he's like, Yo,
you wake up, first thing you do is gravy phone,
before you go to sleep, last thing you do is
gravy phone. Like you walk in the house on the phone.
You gotta be able to disconnect yourself, because then you
(48:41):
wonder why I say things to you and your little
snappy You wonder why, in certain conversations with other people
outside of work and what you do, you're snappy or
you're tired or you don't want to talk about it.
It's because your energy is being consumed by like you're
consuming everything online and we only get you in fragments,
(49:03):
like everybody else around you only gets you in fragments
because of how much you're consuming, Like this is like
your full time job being on the phone. And that
didn't feel good to hear. But I definitely had to
turn the mirror on myself, like damn, you're right, even
like getting in certain beefs online, like how I would
let that consume me? And he would be like, yo,
you must like this, don't you You like this as
(49:25):
much as you swear you don't, as much as you
be in the comments fighting act and like you want
bothered and all that, Yeah you like this, And I'm like, no,
I don't. He's like, yeah, well, you give them fuel
to add to the fire. You make it bigger when
you respond. And then it'll die out, but you go
and make it bigger again when you see one comment
that you feel like needs a response, you know. So
(49:46):
he's very much been a mentor for.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Me, you know all that front. Yeah, yes, very helpful.
But I did the AI interview. You said the middle
finger E moji is your most happy Yes.
Speaker 3 (49:59):
Yeah, that's all I do. Now, that's all I do.
I just be like, that's it. I don't cust people out.
I'll call you nothing no more. I just give you
to me.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
How was it doing a AI interview.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
That was different? See, well, I am is a very
futuristic person, so it wasn't out of the norm for
him to ask me to sit down with his AI host.
I just didn't know what to expect. And Yo, he
has this you know, he's from California, so he has
this big, big, big, I think thirty thousand square foot
studios called f YI and everything is like AI, right,
(50:33):
and the AI host name is Finn. And we walk
into this room and it's it's like screamed from wall
to wall right, and then it's like a chair in
the middle. I feel like I was in a matrix.
And you sit down and it's a camera in front
of you, and it's like the room is talking to you,
and it's like speaker sensitive, so you feel the vibrations
(50:54):
when Finn talked. That's the AI host is name Finn.
You feel the vibration when he talks, and and then
you it's like they're taking you on this ride because
it's like whatever the mood of Finn is, that's what
you're gonna see pictures or the landscape of whatever is
on the screen around you. And I thought it was dope,
Like it was dope. Now obviously Finn can't emote, because
(51:17):
I feel like that's the only thing that AI can't
do is emote. But it's like you knew a lot
about me. Yeah they got they.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Screamed you, damn Angela. You never know because we're I am.
Speaker 3 (51:30):
Yeah, you never know cool elon and everything like the
text to text basis and everything, so you never know
what they're doing.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
Well till death do we parent. It's coming out April
twenty eighth. Feels good. You're on tour, kicking it off
in Brooklyn, I believe.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
Definitely kicking it off in Brooklyn and Dumbo Powerhouse areena.
Get your tickets if you haven't yet, I'm gonna be
doing a live Q and A for the book. I'm
gonna be signing books. We're gonna have a fireside chat
and the conversation will be moderated by Fox Morning anchors.
He wh I can't wait to be in the building
with you guys. It starts at seven pm to nine
(52:06):
pm at the Powerhouse Arenas. So that's Thursday, April thirtieth.
And Dumbo. Now, look do you say Dumbo New York
worts Dumbumbo's okay, because girl, I had no idea.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
Like everybody knows Dumbo in Brooklyn just because of what
it used to look like.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
This is what it is now.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
And then jay Z always talks about how he should
have invested when he had the chance.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
And then of course we have Dumbo House.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
Okay, so Dumbo House, knew.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
Yeah, I gotta spend some more time in.
Speaker 3 (52:33):
I know it sounds like I was just like offending people,
all right, Dumbo, like I just I don't know, I
didn't know. Okay, for y'all meet me and Dumbo, y'all,
Thursday April thirtieth at Powerhouse Arena.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Well, congratulations, it's nice to see where you are today.
And this is amazing to see the journey that it
took for you to get there. But I know people
will relate to this, and they're gonna love to hear
your story and they're gonna take some gems from it.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
And hopefully this is gonna make people.
Speaker 1 (52:57):
If they're in this situation, figure out what I said,
they can coparent more effectively.
Speaker 3 (53:02):
Yes, thank you, Angela, I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
I appreciate you. Jess M.
What's up is way up at Angela Yee and Jess
Hilarious has left the breakfast club and now she's.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
On way or another.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You already know what, but listen, Jess Hilarious. First of all,
I'm so glad to have you in here. I was
excited that they said you were going to come and
do way up for your book Till Death Dew we parents.
So congratulations, thank you Angela on this project. And initially
you talk about what made you write this book about
co parenting as opposed to another book?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Why was this on your heart? First?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Well, me and my son's father. Everywhere we go, people
are like, how do y'all, why do y'all call each
other brother and sister? How the hell can you even
look at somebody that she once laid with and had
a baby with as a brother. And I just I
think that that response is always because of the stigma
that's been put on black families, especially families period, but
(00:54):
black families especially because they always people always feel like
in black families, when the relationship doesn't make it, girl,
that's the end of everything, and it's it's impossible to
have a co parenting relationship, right Like they always feel
like it has to be dysfunction or toxicity or whatever,
(01:16):
and that's not me and Rome. Now we didn't always
Yeah it had to get there. Yeah, we had to
get there there. It's a roller coaster. But I love
how we ended up right, and that's that's That's pretty
much why I wanted to write the book. Now.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I'm glad you said it because there are people listening
right now who are going through it and to note
that they could come through on the other side and
actually be friends and may feel impossible at a certain time,
but I think for you, you've always said the goal
is that you have to make sure that Ash, your
son is good.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yes, absolutely, and people have to get to that point. Now.
The biggest problem with Rome was that Stevie Ja was
his role.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Model girl from the rip, like at the Jump, like
that was his Like he changed his Instagram name from
I forgot what it was to romey J.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
He had a chain made romy J. He made people
girls call him school because he went to Morgan State University,
one of the best HBCUs. He had people calling him
romy J.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You know, people don't understand the impact that watching these
shows really does have.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I know he was only in college, he was young.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
But people are impressionable and sometimes they think certain things
are cool. So while we might be like, you know,
we know that's ridiculous, this guy is out of his mind.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
People literally were like, I'm Stevie j.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Absolutely because when I was watching the show, I'm looking
at what a scumbag Stevie was. I'm like what, And
then I'm mad for me me. I'm mad. I'm mad
at Johncelyn at first, but then I'm mad for me me.
And then Rome is watching it from a different perspective
be like, oh, yeah he didn't he was mad. Yeah,
I need to be like that. Yeah the bus. Yeah,
And so I got off the bus real quick. I
(02:49):
ain't got time.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Not real quick though, well.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Not real quick, oh not real quick. I didn't know
that it was other passengers getting on and I was
the only one on the bus.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Job.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
It was letting people on the back of the us
in the front of the bus, all of us paying
their fair. Girl, you know, one question that we always
have as women is why do we stay so long
in a situation that we know isn't gonna work? And
we get all the red flags? So for people listening,
Let's talk about red flags. Okay, in a relationship? What
would you say are some red flags that women should
(03:20):
watch out for? Because you found out you were pregnant
at nineteen and this was something you really wanted to
make work. But for people who are listening, how do
you know what were some things for you that were
indicative that this is never gonna work?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Man? Well, honestly, I didn't. I'm not going to say
I didn't see the reflection what I did. I honestly
really did it. I really you ignored them. I ignored
them purposely for a while because I couldn't get over
the plan that I had thought that I written for
my own I've written for my own life. And that's
why I say God always had like I always say,
(03:55):
God has a sense of humor, because I know he
was like, look at you writing your story. You don't
even little nineteen year old ass, you're you're a baby,
you don't know, like, this is not gonna be who
I sent to you to marry and have all your
kids with. But the red flags were always how Rome
couldn't be by himself if I was away, if I
(04:16):
was like, because we couldn't be around each other twenty
four seven. He was in school then, you know, I worked,
and we lived on two on the opposite end of Baltimore, right,
so I lived over west, he lived over east. He
he could not be by himself, like he had to
always have somebody that he was talking to, somebody like somebody,
whether it was somebody else's girl or a girl that
(04:38):
he met in school, or somebody to keep his attention. Rome.
Rome always needed a female for every every different area
of his life where he felt like one female wasn't
fulfilling him in this area, he had to have another one.
And like he had a female best friend who he
wouldn't introduce me to it first. That's a riffic.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Reflet, right, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
And I'm like, and I even I didn't even write
about this, and I.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Was like, I recall that exactly friend.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
But I remember that when we had started dating, this
before I even found out I was pregnant, I was
like eighteen, eighteen year going on eighteen, and he would
not introduce me to her. Then he had this X
that he lived like two blocks from. She would pop
up at his house while I was over there. Just
all types, but but she wouldn't pop up like like
(05:29):
like she was trying to still deal with him. She
would pop up just to let me see her, to
see to see if I would be intimidated by her
because they weren't together, they weren't dealing with each other.
But the fact that he would never put her in
her place, the fact that he was just okay with
it and.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Thought, yeah, I would be that should never be happening.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
That should never be happening.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I needs to take care of those things so that
you're not affected by.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
That exactly exactly. Then I also seen a lot of
reflects when I when I saw like his family dynamic,
like with his dad, his dad was like never home,
you know, and so it was a lot of and
his dad was married to his stepmother, you know, and
it was a lot of infidelity that his dad was
(06:08):
putting his step mother through. That's why we never saw
We never saw him. And Rome would vent to me
like about how he wish his father was there because
his mother was deceased, and how he had to change
his life completely. So it was a lot of venting
that Rome would do and I would hear it and
I would know instantly laying next time. Why he's venting
(06:31):
to me like he need a therapist. But also, this
is not supposed to be the person. This is not
the person that I see myself with, Like he's very he.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Got a lot to work on, and you can't fix him.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
I can't fix him with the same age. I don't
even know, like what I'm even doing here laying in
his basement all the way across town. My parents would
with my ears.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Yes, oh yeah, and thank god your mama's that you
ain't raising that baby in that man's basis.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yes, because yo, I was really so delusional, Angela, I
really try to that. I was like, my I want
to go home with my son in the basement with
a can't sit in everything, And she was like, no,
you're not. So.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
You know, we always talk about women growing up without
their mom or without their dad and their life in
the right way, and sometimes I don't think we had
that conversation about what men go through when they don't
have their father around, or you know, we had a
stepmother who wasn't very affectionate and how that affected him
and not giving that as an excuse, but more like
(07:30):
a reason why he was the way that he was
that he wasn't really kind of lasered in on.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah. So his stepmother was. She was a very militant woman.
She was the provider. Like whatever they needed, she made
sure she got it for them. She you know, like
provided a roof over their head, clothes on their back,
you know, water, anymo food, you know, food on the
table and everything. Like I said, we we hardly saw
his father. Yeah, he hardly saw his father. So his
(08:00):
stepmom stepped in. And it was four boys that she
was raised raising, including Rome, you know, three of them hers.
Rome is not her son, but she is treating him
as if he is hers, you know, and she's carrying
basically the whole household, you know, but she was not.
I also did get to observe while I was there
living in the basement that she was not much of
(08:23):
a nurturer. I never really saw her like coddle her
kids or hug them, kiss on them, tell him I
love you, or anything like that. It was really none
of that. And that was big for Rome because before
his mom had passed, he was her world. Yes, her
only child, and yep, he was sleeping in bed with
(08:43):
his mom. And you know, she she was a nurturer
and was very affectionate, you know, and that was that
was that was a big uproot for his life, you know.
And so I think him not ever getting any therapeutic
consolation for any of that that that affected him in
(09:04):
his adult life, even he probably.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Didn't see a lot of people doing therapy either.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Nope, at that time.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
No, you also never put him on child support.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Now, I think this is an interesting conversation because the
light to be off at the house and things would
be going on, and he wouldn't want to give you
money even though you were the primary caregiver for Ash
and he was staying with you, And it's not like
you were blowing the money. You were responsible enough to
make sure that you could at least go buy some candles.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah, you had no lights, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
When I wasn't when I wasn't failing them, I was
definitely going to buy the candle. Yeah, I was like, yeah,
I had to make it work.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yes, And I want to ask your thoughts about child support.
Do you feel differently like when you look back at that,
because there is a certain responsibility and I always feel
like when a man is not stepping up to handle
what he needs to handle financially. Sometimes that is the
route that people have to go.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Yeah. Well, for me it was very different because, first
of all, roaming over handl dam so I was like,
it's gonna be I don't know what right, I don't
know where the course is gonna even get the money
from for him until he came into the settlement that
I didn't know he had until he had blurted it
out one day in conversation telling me a story about
(10:17):
one of his other child's moms, And I'm like, hold up, Nick,
you got some money? Hey, Like you weren't about the
wrong ish, No, I'm not. I'm actually worrying about the
right is because I've been over here struggling, light's been
off all that me and ASH like what And So
even with that being said, I with me finding out
that information, because he went through that money real quick.
(10:39):
I just never wanted to. I never ever wanted to
take him down child support. I never did. I my
thoughts on it though, if you do, if you do
need it, you're a mom and you are struggling, and
that other parent is not helping you sustain the raising
(10:59):
your child out. You have to do that. Sometimes you
have to do it but a lot of times women
do it out of spite. A lot of times women
do it to get back at the father. A lot
of times men do it to get back at the mother.
I know men that, yes, they have taken their children's
(11:19):
moms down to the courts to get child support because
she does not want to be with them and she
moved on with another man. But that happens, and that's
when it's toxic, because why would you involve the courts
because your feelings are involved if you really don't need
to go down there, because because it's hard, it's easy
to put them on child support, but it's hard to
(11:40):
take them off. It's very, very hard.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
But sometimes people end up paying less than they would
have had to anyway. Right, it is all based on
like a lot of different things. I just was like,
I was annoyed that he wasn't giving you no money.
It was you know what I'm saying, because yours And
he was acting like he just couldn't like if I
give you this, I'll take myself, but I won't get
you any money.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Like he was like, no, I ain't gonna put no
money of your hands, but I'm gonna I'm gonna take
my son off your hands until you get yourself together. Na,
you never taking my son off my hands. I don't
even No, I don't even trust that. Like I'm his
primary parent and I was. I was young, but Ron
was young too. I grew up a lot quicker than
he did. Rome was very childish in a lot of ways,
(12:22):
and I just didn't I did not trust him to
have ash full time while I get myself together. No,
I can get myself together and raise my son. That's
what mothers do.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
So when it comes to Ashton knowing this story about
how he was brought on into this planet, and I
know he's gonna has he read this and advance?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Not yet, but he said he will, And I am
nervous about that.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
That's what I wanted to ask because listen, trusting believe
my dad would be like you almost was here, you know,
because decisions that parents.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Have to make.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
But it's a reality and it was a blessing to
have him. But does he know the full story of how?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
No? Okay, no, he does not. And that's one thing
in writing the book. That's why I was wrestling back
and forth mentally, like, oh do I put the part
in here about not even wanting him until he was
like six five six months. I was wrestling back and
(13:27):
forth in my mind because I'm like, I never want
him to feel like, well, damn, you didn't want me,
but you wanted my little sister, you know what I'm saying.
I But at the same time, I'm like, I have
to I can't leave out these important parts because this
can help somebody, you know, this can this can raise
awareness of how and then it's just real, it's vulnerability.
(13:48):
I'm like, yo, are you in nineteen? I was nineteen
and I was twenty when I had him, and I
had a breakdown one day. I'm like, yo, cause I
just if I'm reliving it. I'm like, yo, Rome was
out here doing his thing. He was going to parties
and living a life and in the clubs and you know,
still hanging out with his friends. I'm not able to
do none of that. I got a new baby at home.
I had to move back with my mom, and my
(14:10):
mom is like, huh uh, I'm not watching this baby
while you go out and be with your friends. No,
you should have thought about that before you made the
decision to lay down with him unprotected, and then you
made a decision to have the baby. So I was
jealous and I was bitter, and I was like, yo,
I'm stuck here after I made a decision because it
would break his heart if I was to get an abortion,
(14:32):
and I'm like, I don't know what to do, and
so I was. I remember breaking down and I'm crying
ashing the crib and I'm like, yo, why would you
pick me to be your mother? Like why would you
even pick me to do this? I don't know what
I'm doing? And I'm crying, I'm throwing shit all over
the place. And he did like a little smart aside smirk,
like as a six month old baby, I swear Angela.
(14:54):
He was like like he just side smirk as if
to say, like, girl, you're doing so much. You gotta relax.
Like whatever I the next be it, but you're gonna
take care of me. And right then and there, like
I looked in the mirror, crazy ugly tearss and I
bust out laughing and You're like, yeah, you definitely don't
see much. And I went over to the crib and
I picked him up and he just laughed, drooling all
(15:14):
on me, and I'm like that was the moment, right
there that it was like I do want you, I'm
ready to be a mom. I don't care what I
gotta do right, I want my son.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
And that was also I'm sure postpartum is a real thing.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Yes, when you look back at it and think, you
may not realize I did not, because there are women
that feel so guilty after having a baby, a feeling
like what did I do? I don't Yeah, And now,
like you said, looking back on it, that's more than
likely what that was. I just felt like I felt ugly.
I felt like ashamed of myself. I felt like I
(15:46):
don't know what to do. I don't like I felt like, honestly,
I wanted to give him to my mother and just
run away. I wanted to hurt roam so bad, like.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I girl was a And imagine going through all of
that and he's running around with other women having the
time of his life.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
On my Space Facebook like yeah, yeahm out head, what's
up y'all? Like girl, Oh my god, A real life
Jody from Baby Boy. That's what he was.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
One of the things that you managed to get over.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
And I'm not going to give away too much of
the book, but this is early on where you guys
have his first birthday party. Yes, and Rome showed up
with a whole other chick late.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And you had no idea he was going to do that.
You had a plan. But to his defense, you did
tell him the care wasn't here.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
I know. I I rang the bell, y'all.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
I sure did. I did.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
We were arguing and and and the reason why I
did that is and you're never supposed to do that.
Ladies do not ever do that.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Right baby anyway?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah, so many men have heard that. Listen, and they
might believe it. And they, yes, they might believe it.
And how that comment even came about me telling him
that we was already argument cause somebody and we would
were in a car and somebody had called his phone
and you know how the phone plugged up to the car,
but Dow don't want to answer it, and it's like
no answer for White, And I ask, there's somebody from
(17:10):
school showing now and she helped me with my homework. Hi, okay,
so if it's your tutor, answer the phone. And it
was somebody he was dealing with, you know what I mean.
And so we were arguing about.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
It that whole night.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
And I was like that's why your son not chure
us anyway. And I expected for him to I know,
I expected him to keep going back and forth like
be this, beat that or whatever. He just like took
a deep breath and he hung up the phone. I
was like, oh my god, Oh my god. And because
I was so used to the argument. So then we
do the birthday party and he show up like two
(17:43):
hours late or an hour and a half late with
another girl with greasy ass tricks.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Crazy, but she didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
She did not know what was going on. I'm not
gonna yeah, I know, right. And I've seen him since
then too. I've seen.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Maybe flip flops to her feet with hair off the bank.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Very much dirty, I know, I know because of flip flops.
But girl, yes, and he came in there I'm talking about.
He came in and looking like he was at his
album release party. Like ready, my brother was wording whip
his ass too.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Well. Thank god for the brother, thank god, thank god.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
You've been through so much in that relationship and you
really did try to hold on. But in the midst
of all that, you also moved on with somebody that
could have been great, but that was not God's plans.
No at that time, or your plan, your goal in
your head, in your mind, you really wanted to have
this family, you know, and be with the man. And
(18:40):
even no matter what he did, he could always manage
to talk his way and maneuver his back way in
there with you.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
When do you feel like that window finally closed?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
When I changed my mindset, I had to change my mindset,
and the mindset that I had before was like, no
matter what, you know, I'm not going to give up.
Rome is going to somehow wake up and the coffee
one day and be like, yo, I got a good girl.
I'm laying I'm retiring that the player jersey. I'm going
to be with her, We're gonna have more kids, I'm
(19:11):
gonna marry her. Blah blah blah. That's what my fairy
tale was in my mind. That was my whole mindset.
I'm going to be a wife and a mother. Once
I stopped trying to force that peace into the puzzle
that it didn't belong, I changed my mindset. I'm like, Okay,
I just need to accept that this is going to
(19:31):
be a cycle of behavior that I have to change
and let that go because just because we don't make it,
just because he ain't my person, that's not the end.
And then I really had a moment where I was like,
I'm only twenty I'm only twenty one, Like.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Yo, yeah, yeah this is this is not like, this
is not going to be my life.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Girl. This ain't even ah the surface of what I
supposed to be doing yet, you know. So that immediately
kicked in and I was like, I'm never looking back.
And then it was also what put the icing on
the cake was Rome had another baby on the way
and he didn't tell me that that. I ended up
finding that out on social media.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Because you posted, because I posted, that's how you can
find out, That's how you draw in her what's really happening,
and put up that house baby yup.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I put up a post of me, him and our son.
Once we had reacquainted, got together, We felt good. We
down in Baltimore. You know, he took us out on
the day I posted it, and I wake up to
a comment, oh yeah, he got my homegirl, we got
my cousin pregnant or whatever. He overhead playing house with
his baby mother, and I was like, girl, my whole
heart dropped in my ass like I didn't get up
(20:43):
to go to work the next day, I did not
even take my son to school. I was and Rome
denied it. Not. Yeah, but you can't deny a baby.
It's gonna come out, honey, that's a while. Like when
did he think you weren't?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:54):
You know. So after doing some digging, I found out
not only did they have a baby on the way,
but he was in a relationship with the girl.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Like how was he getting away with all of this?
And the fact that he was okay with you posting
the family too. You didn't think that was going to
be seen and you know, no, you do not literally
had to get into fist fights, yes, and which is wow, jest,
we didn't want to.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, this nerviies. Thank god you.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Can fight, Yes, thank god I can. Thank god I can,
because girl, that was at fist fighting over your man,
that ain't your man. And I said, that's the crazy thing.
I wasn't even fist fighting over him.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I wasn't. We were, We were done, eyebrows. And yeah,
I'm gonna say.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Okay, y'all gotta read the book figure to find out
over eyebrows. I promise you I was not fighting over Rome.
It is not. At that point, I was done with it.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Now, let's talk about decisions that you feel like you've
made in relationships up until the one that you have now,
and kind of there was a pattern there too with.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
You, you feel like, yeah, it was. It was a lot.
You would think I learned from Ashton's father who to pick,
who not to pick, what to tolerate, what's inappropriate to me,
what to stand for whatnot. But I didn't. I feel
like the guys just got worse and worse and worse after.
(22:16):
You know, I totally closed that chapter with the wrong
and you know what it was, Angela, It was just
me thinking about myself. I wasn't really thinking about my
son and also us being a package. Like if you
date a woman with kids or a kid, whatever, she's
a package. You don't only date her. You can't only
(22:38):
just deal with her. You have to if it's long term,
if you're taking her serious, you have to consider being
a father figure to our kid. Like that's just what
it is, you know. I wasn't dating like that, Like
I was just worried about me and fulfilling whatever whatever
void I thought I needed filled, you know, And so
(22:59):
I meet someone else and then they're not right that
I meet someone else and they not right. And what
they all had in common was they weren't right for
my son right what they were cool for me, not
even right for me. It was just something that.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I they're not right for your son, They're not right for.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
You, definitely not right for me. So that's what that was.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
What advice would you give to women who are navigating
that space of dating while they have a child, who,
like you said, it's a package deal. But what are
some things that you would say to women right now
who are like, how do I know when to like
and to do somebody? How do I know when somebody's
right to bring somebody into my life? How do I
break the news? Do I need to tell the father first?
They need to meet the father? From your experience, what
(23:39):
would you say.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Well, honestly, it depends on whether this is for the
father part. It depends on the relationship that the mom
has with the co parent, Like, are they in a
good enough space for her to come and introduce somebody
that she's dealing with to them? You know, cause a
lot of fathers ain't ready for that. They'll never be
ready for that. As long as they they'll got those
(24:00):
feelings I'm sorry for the mom. As long as they
still got feelings for the mom, They're never gonna be
ready to be like open that door to be like
all right, cool, you the God that's gonna be around
my son. You the God's gonna be around my kids,
my daughter? All right? Cool? You know, but I would say,
before you introduce that guy or that lady to your kid,
(24:20):
you have to do any evaluation. I think everybody should
date like this, Like you have to know about past
childhood traumas. How are you with children? If you don't,
cause everybody don't have children, you know, if you how
are you with children? Okay? Cool, you never had any Okay,
that doesn't totally ex them out if they don't have children.
You just got to see how they are in certain situations.
(24:43):
How do you deal with anger? Like how do you
deal with somebody when you're angry with them? Because that
was a that was a big toxic point for me,
Like how I dealt with guys when I got angry
with them? How they dealt with me when they got
angry with me? You know what I mean? Like it
wasn't good, it was it became physical. Who A lot
of times I used to put my hands on men
(25:03):
and you know they will put their hands on me back.
But it's like, I ain't scared. I'm not calling the police.
I'm just letting you know. This ain't gonna fly, you
know what I mean. So it was you you have
to You can't. You don't have to be totally healed,
because that's a journey.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Like who is totally healed?
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Girl? Nobody? I really honestly feel like that journey stuff
and life keeps lifing. While you're healing from one thing,
another thing can be hurting you. You know, Can I
just have one day of the peace? Just peace, right
peace all the way around. So, yeah, you gotta evaluate
these people. You gotta have like interviews at dinner. Don't
be looking and when you get into somebody, don't be
(25:40):
in the phone all day posting saying, oh this is cute.
He bought me here, he took me here, whatever, Like, no,
it ain't even about that. Does he know his mom?
Does he have a relationship with his mom? Does he
know his dad? Is he trying to find his dad? Like?
How is he his grandmother raised them? Okay, what does
she teach him. What are the qualities like is he
emotionally intelligent? Like all of those things I wish that
I had known back then, but that's the part of
(26:03):
living and things like that.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
How are you going to have a conversation with Ashton
before he read Are you gonna talk to him first?
You're gonna let him read it and then talk to him, Like,
what's the plan?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
I would love to talk to him because I don't
want him to read that part about me being unsure
whether I wanted to keep him or not and keep
him or not, or like not wanting a baby that
young after I had already had him. I want to
be able to explain where I was in that moment,
(26:37):
explain my age, and just explain, not making excuses, but
being real with him as this is what it was.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
It wasn't about him.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
It was about like even like you said, he was
doing so Rome was doing so much while you were pregnant,
you were kind of by yourself, but not just by yourself,
but also going through a lot of like devastating yans exactly.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
That wasn't a joyful No, he was not fun.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
And you know I'm on TV. I'm watching TV of
big pregnant women. I used to watch. I used to
watch other show used to come on a and A,
Oh my god, what the baby story? And I would
see couples and the man is roughing, Yes, all the
classes and stuff right, and then the appointments and stuff
(27:22):
they're enjoying together, and then talking about what the baby
name is gonna be, and ah, he's gonna act like you,
and he's gonna act like you, you know, not saying Roman.
I didn't have any of those moments, but it just
was a devastation because he wasn't faithful, he wasn't loyal
that whole time, and I'm like, damn. I made the
decision of keeping my child because I didn't want to
(27:43):
upset you, because I know you lost your mom, and
I know this is going to bring you some type
of uh, you know, comfort and company and give you
someone to love in place of a person that you
lost that you loved the most. And so I was
going through all of that, you know what I mean,
and that that just made it very hard. But I'm
going to talk to him.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
What about your parents to it now?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
I know in the beginning they were supportive of you,
but we don't hear much about like because you didn't
really want to let them know no everything that you
but trust and believe like you said, you know them
church people was talking Yeah, real bad. Yes, because it's
like you said, it's Baltimore. It was small and everybody
knows everybody.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
And imagine having to tell your parents not only that
you're pregnant, but hey, this is my boyfriend too. They
didn't even know that I was dating anybody like they did. It.
Not that they expected me to be like oh to myself,
like no, I'm in a corner all day, like house
on a prairie or like anything like that. It wasn't that.
It was just the fact that I had never introduced anybody.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
To them to be that was the first.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
So that was the first, and I had to tell
them all that in one conversation. Hey, this is my
boyfriend Rom who I've been staying over his house in
the basement. If you can't spy the way and I'm pregnant. Boom,
It's like, okay, how do we do it? All that?
Back up? What you know what I mean? And my father,
although he is he was the lenient parent parent growing up,
(29:09):
he still was like he was the most disappointed in
me because I never talked to him about dating having sex.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
What it's like, Yeah, so you never had that sex conversation.
Not that did I with my parents? Okay, so that's
the thing.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
It is a thing.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
How do you feel like that now?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Because being a mom of two, you gotta have that
kind Have you had that conversation?
Speaker 3 (29:29):
I've had the conversation with Yeah, yeah, my daughter's one.
But I had the conversation. Yeah I know, I know,
but I was like, what, I have the conversation with him.
But I think Ashton is more comfortable with talking about
like sex and all that with his dad and my
husband because he opens up a lot more to them
(29:49):
about like even the girl that he's dating now, like
you know, his girlfriend who he's been with for a while. Whatever.
It is hard, Like he don't even want me to
meet her yet, like you don't matter, no, but he
introduced my mom to her.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
That's so funny.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Yeah, I'm like, wow, what is going on? He's like,
you're going to meet it because that's probably gonna be
letting me here too, Like yeah, yeah, so I don't
know whether he's like protecting that, Like wait, everybody just
can't meet my mom because you know, you know what
my mom is. You know, I don't know, but I
feel shut out. I don't like it because because my
husband and my and his father Rome, they're really close
(30:28):
that like they're close. They they assist each other in
raising Ashton you know what I'm saying, and they have conversations.
Ash tell him stuff and I'm like, well I want
to know, and Ash be like chill, chill, belove it.
He got this new thing where he absolutely so, yeah,
I wish I did. I wish he did talk to
me more.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
But even after that, when initially they found out, did
you kind of like keep all of it because there
was so much drama going on, and even like introducing
them to another guy like did Manual.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yes, Emanuel met both of my parents. My father was
very relieved to find out that I had met someone
like Emanuel, right, because my father early on didn't particularly
care for wrong I'm sure yeah, no, not yes. He
was like nah, but he was like okay, all right, cool.
He wasn't like overly inviting, like oh yes, finally, but
(31:22):
he was he was more open to a man like Emanuel,
like Okay, he's older, he can teach her something. He
is mature, he has a job, he works like, he's
family oriented, he's close with his mom, and he's like older, old,
the oldest of all of his siblings and things like that.
He just had different qualities. And my mom, my mom
(31:45):
is a deacon in the church. She don't judge. Nobody
should pray for everybody. Everybody is so she loves, she
loves everybody into very close. Like she immediately like got
close with him though, like I don't know what it
was that she saw in him, not even just for me.
She was just like this, this boy has clearly been
(32:06):
through a lot, and he needs love, he needs comfort,
he needs nurturing. And my mom was that for him
since day one. So yeah, but yeah, it was a
lot of drama surrounding that. So when I met email
you and I was like, okay, this is my night
and shine and arbor. And then once it down with
rome and instead of I thought I was doing something good.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
So interesting because you avoided Rome I for such a
long time. But in a way it maybe you knew
that seeing him again, he'll be able to manipulate you
into you know, continuing that cycle that had been going on.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
That's why I was so oh. That's why I was
like reluctant to meet with him. I was like, nah,
I ain't trying to do it. I knew in the
back of my mind, like if I see him again,
all the feelings are going to rush back, and I'm
going to let him weave that way and get me
back into the trap. I knew that, but I wasn't
being honest with myself because I was like, out of sight,
out of mind. As long as I'm saying I can
(33:03):
get over the good Yeah, No, No, you laid down
with this man, You'll produced a seed like you gave
birth to something, Like you're connected to him in a way.
You need to detach yourself intimately from him before you
can move forward and not have those feelings. And what
I thought was going to be a meeting of conclusion, No,
(33:24):
he basically did what he had always done, started saying
all the right things, and I thought I was doing
something good. I'm like, you know what, instead of cheating
on my man that I got home with you, I'm
going to go home, break up with him, and be
a good woman about it and then try to give
my family another chat.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I was like, damn, Jess, you were supposed to say, well,
let me think about it.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Goofy, goofy.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
I'm gonna tell you the most heartbreaking thing is when
somebody says to you, I can't even look at you the.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Same anymore, Angela. That's like the worst.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
When it's like, no, I'm not even like it's also
it's kind of like being you discussed me.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Yes in a way yes, and that's the more respectful
way to say it, though, like I can't libet you
to say but that's how it hits. You discussed me,
and then and then when they hit you with them,
such and such told me this was going happen. When
he said that, I was like, no, my god, I
was girl. That's why I gotta read the book. But
that that was one of the most heartbreaking parts to
(34:22):
relive writing the book because when I was when I
was pregnant. I wrote the book while I was pregnant,
so I had a whole bunch of episodes. I was
like upset and I was mad, and then I had
pregnancy brain too, so I couldn't remember certain things and
I had to call Rome and now he's helping me
relive the stuff, and I'm like nigga, that's why I
hated you. And He's like, damn your chill, that's why
(34:44):
I didn't even want to tell you. I didn't even
want to remind you about what I did, y'all. You know,
but that, yeah, it was, it was. That was one
of the most heartbreaking parts.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
It's interesting because you've also been having conversations with this
book coming out based around and like you have Rome's
ex girlfriend, baby Mom.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yep, you had her on the podcast with you.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Would you have Amanuel on and have a conversation, girl,
I would love to hear.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
I actually would love to talk to you may as well.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I do not know.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
The last time I checked Emy was in jail. Oh okay,
I don't know. I can call you collect we won't
get some type of way right, Yes, yes, you said
him down the wrong past girl. He got shot in
the butt and everything like it was yes, I know,
and I know everybody gonna be like, for real, I
swear that's real. I heard that he got shot right
(35:40):
in his ass, yo, and I was like, oh my god,
I want to know if you're okay, But I couldn't
reach him or anything. And the crazy thing is I
used to work with his sister at like at McDonald's. Like, yes,
it was crazy, steal from girl real, I would Rechester
write at night like not playing. But yeah, I am
gonna try because that was the last last time I
(36:00):
heard that he was in jail. He might be home now,
this was like two years ago, so I'm gonna try
to see. But I would definitely love to.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Sit down with him. That would be a good one. YEA, Yeah,
that's a tough conversation.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
It is.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
So you have insight unto what happened with Ice Spice
and McDonald's. You have a girl listen. I didn't even
know that there was a second altercation.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
So first of all, the street after that, yues, I
was so mad at her to see that that happened,
because I'm like, yo, you're from New York, brace yourself.
You can't talk about somebody's body language that they ready fight.
They raised squabble. The video, the same video I watch,
is the same video everybody else watch. The girl had
her hands on the table leaning over like that didn't
look like no fan, It looked like somebody's pressing you,
(36:41):
Like and for the first words to come out to
your mof to be is where you from. I ain't
gonna tell you where I'm from. I'm standing up, we
guffing like I'm we fighting. I'm sorry, Yes, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Okay, we don't do that no more, no, not no, no, no, no,
oh my god. When you're the book and you see
her rolling up to fight somebody, okay, I was like, Jess,
you know, it's interesting to me right now the space
that you're in on the breakfast clab and I just
(37:11):
want to talk about now because you've always done just
with the mess, You've always done your stand up. But
it's different for people now when they hear you on
the radio and then you have to report on things,
and sometimes people don't like it.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Yeah no, because you know what it is, girl. That
job is for a journalist. That's what that is, and
that is not what I am. I am a comedian
that do commentary on headlines, and it's different doing just
what the mess on the radio is very different because
for the most part, you really have to see it,
(37:43):
you know what I mean. You can't. I'm such a
visual type of comedian. You can't just listen, although you can,
but certain things, Yo, you got to be able.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
To see it.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Because I'm expressive as well. And although you know, Breakfast
Club is a visual podcasts and everything too, the people
in their cars like, it's still primarily radio, you know
what I'm saying, And it's hard.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
And on the app you have to listen.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying, upping on an app,
So it's it's hard for me to do it. So
I just was like, nah, it's not Breakfast Club is
not the right space for just with.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
The mess right, And you know, because it's interesting because
I'll run into people sometimes if I report something, they'll
be mad about it, and I'm like, why y'all mad
at me for reporting something that everybody else. And the
other thing I realized too, is that you could talk
great about somebody like a thousand times, if there's one
time that you're like, yeah, I didn't really like that song.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Or whatever, then that's a problem. It's a problem. They
forget everything else that they said, knowledge.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
That it's not like they hit you up like thank
you for saying that, thanks for the prompliment.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
But as soon as there's one.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Thing negative, and it don't even have to be real negative,
you could just you can just.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
The opinion holds so much more weight in the space
that you're in. What has that adjustment been like for
you though, I mean it's been years now.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Uh people, I had to be honest. The only person
that got mad at me saying anything, it's still uh,
what's her name, sexy Red. It's still sexy she She's
not mad anymore, but she was upset. She walked in
with this. I first started and she had walked in
(39:23):
and I was like, she was pregnant. I worked the
hug and she was like, I don't do what you
just like, I don't like it. And I was like,
damn what I do? And she couldn't even remember what
I did. I think I called it like a dweb
or something like something that's like, you know, that's a
remark that I learned from my white friends in high school,
like you do weep. She ain't like that, you know
what I mean. But after like ten minutes, she was cool.
(39:46):
Oh Jim Jones, Oh Jim Jones. Jones know that he
felt a little way about something because I just sat
down with him and did his podcast for my book
as well, and he was like, man, damn this book. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
It was like he wasn't that mad if he had
you on though.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, but he definitely wanted me
to know that he did feel a low way, you
know about I guess I had said something about his
studio band a little cold. Oh you know.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Everybody was having jokes about that.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Yeah, because they always layered up. They always got on
colts and stuff, you know, at the tough winter, you know,
and that's what And I even seen in the back
of the video that said fifty nine degrees one time.
He the one that got the thermostat and the damn camera. Okay,
so I said, all I did was zoom, Jim, you know.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
And I seen fifty nine.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
I know they cold in there, you know, but the
weather is breaking its spring now, and I was in
there the other day and it's not cool.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Okay, good, I'm glad to hear. Yeah, it's cold right now, but.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
It's definitely cool. Yeah, I'm glad I ain't had to
go there today, but it's like now, Jim, I'm joking,
I'm joking, but nah, it was pretty cool. But yeah,
she was literally the person who got the maddest and honestly,
I didn't even really think she was real serious. About that.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah, she you know, and like you said, she forgot
what it was and then it felt like things moved
over you hand.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
Yeah, and God, think about it. She was pregnant. Imagine
waking up every day. She was like eight months pregnant.
Just imagine waking up every day. And online you got
your fan base, but you see a bunch of people
just coming at you about anything and everything. You although
she brings a lot of it on herself because of
how she you know, what she put out there, you know,
how she behaved, things she say, But when you pregnant,
(41:25):
it amplifies. It's amplified, you know, because now you're taking
everything into account. You're sensitive about everything. So I understood.
But nah, she by the end of the interview, she
was inviting me to the baby shower and everything. So
it really wasn't a problem problem.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Yeah, No, that's good. I love to see it. So
how is it for you being here in New York
all the time?
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Too?
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Girl?
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Girl? Uh, still trying to adjust. I love New York,
but I love New York to visit and then take
my airds home, Like for real, ain't no grass, ain't
no trees, ain't nothing. All these different smells. I'm coming
the world. I cannot understand how you know what I
rolled past the other day. I roll past on my
(42:06):
way back to Jersey City. I roll past this restaurant
right and we had like eighty degree weather last week,
and it was like an outdoor part of the restaurant
and right next to it, big big, big, big, big
stacks of trash. Oh trash.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
I'm like, yo, there's definitely rats right there.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Is that.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Okay, out there dining in New York, there's gonna be
rats running under your feet.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
And the white people was just there like, yeah, you
want another chance for my Margarina? Like they were just
like chilling, like.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
We got to get the binds together.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
Yeah want nobody blacks it right there? But the white people,
they look the is the friends of them? What about
waking up early, I'm still trying to adjust to that. That.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Let me tell you, that's something I never adjusted to.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
You never adjusted to it.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
The show in my life he got used to get it.
People say, oh, you're used to it now. It's not
anything I ever got adjusted to. And I felt like,
damn is pregnant, and then had a newborn and I
had to get up early.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
That's a lot of work. Yes, doing doing makeup every
morning and listen. When I first got the job, I
was like, you know what, I'm gonna try to make
a fashion statement every day.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Oh yeah, it's not gonna wear girl.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
No getting up at three thirty.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
In my sweats every day. People would be like, shit, sorry,
I got dressed. Sometimes I'll get dressed in the dark
because my eye is not fully open adjusted, and you'll
be like.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Oh, it don't match.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
Oh you wouldn't even hit it.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
You woldn't even see till I have to work, And
I'd be like, damn, yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
I'm still trying to adjust to that. So all of that,
you know, jazz, no makeup, Oh my god, no wig
no nothing. Honestly, no, I'm up here. No, I'm one
of them.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
But it feels good. They're going on tour for the
book as well.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Yes i am. I'm going to promote tour for the book.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
That's amazing. Yeah does so?
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Does it feel good? It does feel good, just in
an amazing space, yes it. Listen, you celebrated a year.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
Yes, I just celebrated a year of marriage with my
husband Chris, and girl, guess what I did a day
before the anniversary, lost my ring.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Girl, No okay, no.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
Ask somebody else, try I still the job. No, no girl,
not not for a second time. Only take one person.
Can't miss no day girl, no no days. But no man,
I lost my ring Yo, yes I did. And I
tried to backtrack, like, oh my god, waited I lost
it Thursday, but I was like my anniversary. It was Friday,
(44:34):
so I was like, you know what, I remember the
last place I had it was in my husband's truck.
So I get home from work Friday morning and I'm like,
all right, let me go check in the truck. My
husband got his truck detailed inside and out, so I
couldn't find it was squeaky clean. I couldn't find nothing.
And if they found it, it's over. It's over. It
is over, yo. And so especially if the Mexican too,
(44:57):
because if you go back and you'd be like did
you they can act like down speak English. Don't do that.
I'm just saying it because girl want to be like
I don't understand, Like, no, no, you understand, so girl,
And I thought so I thought he was playing a
trick on me, like you know what, he probably found
to hit it and he's gonna pop out with it
at dinner or whatever he takes me today. No, So
(45:18):
this is what I did. I went to him. I
was like, I know you got my ring, Like, can
you just give it to me already? He was like,
what your ring? Yeah, you don't have it on. You
haven't warned today, like, and I was like, psych, I
lost it. I thought that he had it, yo. So
I was just going off the fact that he had it,
trying to and he was like, no, no, you had
(45:38):
you don't have your ring on, and it's your anniversary.
He was more upset with the fact that I lost
it a day before our anniversary.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I thought, this is gonna have a good ending.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
No, it's still bad.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Damn. Is it insured?
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Yes, of course yes, it's insured. So yeah, but it
just hurts me to tell you that I didn't. I know,
but I it just still hurt me that I lost
it on my first anniversary.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Like, you know, they have your ring there too.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
I know.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
I know somebody got a nice gift.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Yes, girl got a big, a big hello, but.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
I'm sorry to hear that. I was waiting for you
to be like and then I found it.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
No, No, so we're we're gonna get another one because
he did get it in short, thank god.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
But yeah, how was it now, like relationship wise? Getting married?
And how do you know like what to post what
not to post? Because we know you from social media
you went viral that way first. So how do you
feel about like, cause you know people always want to
weigh in and have things to say, and I know, girl,
relationship wise, he may not be wanting to be like.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Yeah, he is in the mix, the total opposite, right,
So you can literally only find I can count on
my hand how many pictures I have posted of my husband.
We've been together for three years and we've only been
married for one but been together for three years. And
he is not the person that likes to be in
pictures and videos and all up, all up and everything.
(47:02):
Now he is not the of the label like now.
He does not like to be in anything.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
How do you feel about doctor Umar.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
He actually find doctor Umar real funny to be honest,
but I had to I had to lie to doctor
Umar yo because he Yo, he'd be in the business
for real yo, And I ain't got time for no
pro black lecture like Yo, I'm black, trust me. I
love our sisters and brothers, Joe, but this is who
I'm with and that is what it is, you know.
(47:31):
But yeah, my husband does not like to be in
the limelight at all, and so that that's been a
that's been an adjustment because I've been trying to get
him to do like couple's content stuff like that. Hein
really open is I can feel him opening up to it,
but not really Yeah, like lower stuff. He uh, he's
(47:54):
not really for it, but he he's gonna start hopefully
he's getting more comfortable.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
With what do you think about this? Health?
Speaker 1 (48:00):
I had this conversation with Laura Coats about social media
being addictive and you know how you monitor that even
for yourself? Yes, because that is something with you you
have to be. You're on the phone a lot, You're
creating content. It's not easy to do because some of
it is requires like editing and how how is that?
And how does Chris phil about that?
Speaker 3 (48:20):
Honestly, we had a moment where this was not too
long ago, this is like last year sometime where he's like, Yo,
you wake up, first thing you do is gravy phone,
before you go to sleep, last thing you do is
gravy phone. Like you walk in the house on the phone.
You gotta be able to disconnect yourself, because then you
(48:41):
wonder why I say things to you and your little
snappy You wonder why, in certain conversations with other people
outside of work and what you do, you're snappy or
you're tired or you don't want to talk about it.
It's because your energy is being consumed by like you're
consuming everything online and we only get you in fragments,
(49:03):
like everybody else around you only gets you in fragments
because of how much you're consuming, Like this is like
your full time job being on the phone. And that
didn't feel good to hear. But I definitely had to
turn the mirror on myself, like damn, you're right, even
like getting in certain beefs online, like how I would
let that consume me? And he would be like, yo,
you must like this, don't you You like this as
(49:25):
much as you swear you don't, as much as you
be in the comments fighting act and like you want
bothered and all that, Yeah you like this, And I'm like, no,
I don't. He's like, yeah, well, you give them fuel
to add to the fire. You make it bigger when
you respond. And then it'll die out, but you go
and make it bigger again when you see one comment
that you feel like needs a response, you know. So
(49:46):
he's very much been a mentor for.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Me, you know all that front. Yeah, yes, very helpful.
But I did the AI interview. You said the middle
finger E moji is your most happy Yes.
Speaker 3 (49:59):
Yeah, that's all I do. Now, that's all I do.
I just be like, that's it. I don't cust people out.
I'll call you nothing no more. I just give you
to me.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
How was it doing a AI interview.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
That was different? See, well, I am is a very
futuristic person, so it wasn't out of the norm for
him to ask me to sit down with his AI host.
I just didn't know what to expect. And Yo, he
has this you know, he's from California, so he has
this big, big, big, I think thirty thousand square foot
studios called f YI and everything is like AI, right,
(50:33):
and the AI host name is Finn. And we walk
into this room and it's it's like screamed from wall
to wall right, and then it's like a chair in
the middle. I feel like I was in a matrix.
And you sit down and it's a camera in front
of you, and it's like the room is talking to you,
and it's like speaker sensitive, so you feel the vibrations
(50:54):
when Finn talked. That's the AI host is name Finn.
You feel the vibration when he talks, and and then
you it's like they're taking you on this ride because
it's like whatever the mood of Finn is, that's what
you're gonna see pictures or the landscape of whatever is
on the screen around you. And I thought it was dope,
Like it was dope. Now obviously Finn can't emote, because
(51:17):
I feel like that's the only thing that AI can't
do is emote. But it's like you knew a lot
about me. Yeah they got they.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Screamed you, damn Angela. You never know because we're I am.
Speaker 3 (51:30):
Yeah, you never know cool elon and everything like the
text to text basis and everything, so you never know
what they're doing.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
Well till death do we parent. It's coming out April
twenty eighth. Feels good. You're on tour, kicking it off
in Brooklyn, I believe.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
Definitely kicking it off in Brooklyn and Dumbo Powerhouse areena.
Get your tickets if you haven't yet, I'm gonna be
doing a live Q and A for the book. I'm
gonna be signing books. We're gonna have a fireside chat
and the conversation will be moderated by Fox Morning anchors.
He wh I can't wait to be in the building
with you guys. It starts at seven pm to nine
(52:06):
pm at the Powerhouse Arenas. So that's Thursday, April thirtieth.
And Dumbo. Now, look do you say Dumbo New York
worts Dumbumbo's okay, because girl, I had no idea.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
Like everybody knows Dumbo in Brooklyn just because of what
it used to look like.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
This is what it is now.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
And then jay Z always talks about how he should
have invested when he had the chance.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
And then of course we have Dumbo House.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
Okay, so Dumbo House, knew.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
Yeah, I gotta spend some more time in.
Speaker 3 (52:33):
I know it sounds like I was just like offending people,
all right, Dumbo, like I just I don't know, I
didn't know. Okay, for y'all meet me and Dumbo, y'all,
Thursday April thirtieth at Powerhouse Arena.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Well, congratulations, it's nice to see where you are today.
And this is amazing to see the journey that it
took for you to get there. But I know people
will relate to this, and they're gonna love to hear
your story and they're gonna take some gems from it.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
And hopefully this is gonna make people.
Speaker 1 (52:57):
If they're in this situation, figure out what I said,
they can coparent more effectively.
Speaker 3 (53:02):
Yes, thank you, Angela, I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
I appreciate you. Jess M.
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