Jana is ready to hear some tried and true relationship lessons from Mark L. Walberg, host of Temptation Island on Netflix.
Mark shares his experience from his 38 year marriage and reveals the secret behind their lasting bond, but also reveals that when it comes to contestants, he’s like a "codependent father/stalker”.
Plus, Mark gives Jana some quick words of wisdom on how men and women respond to conflicts!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
All right, this week's special guest, we have got Mark
Wahlberg on. So he is the host of Temptation Island.
Oh that show, Oh Kramer. I struggle with the show.
I think lives on Temptation Island. Yes he does. Like
I know these country shows, are you kidding me? I'd
(00:23):
have bras thrown at me and I'm a woman, but
like I would see the girls, I mean, these bandmates,
like my bandmate up. I mean, yeah, I'll just stop jogging.
But yeah, man, yeah, it's a lot so trying to
watch it. I want to watch it as it's presented,
but I'm like, my stomach are so young. I want
(00:45):
to like mother them and honey, like he's leaving you
so much. If you think he'll even it's just not
even come on the show. I know. I yes, let's
get them month. Hey, I got to tell you something.
So I really struggle with Temptation Island. But you are
the only part of it that I like because I
feel like you give them such good and I think
(01:06):
it's just my own past, my own shit. I've been
cheated on so many times in my past that I'm like,
it's just a bit of a triggering show for me,
but you give such good advice that I'm like, I
watch it to hear your advice. For that, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
And by the way, speaking to the trigger that you're
talking about and how it's hard to watch is why
I get accused of and then stand fully in that.
I'm kind of more pro woman than man in the
bonfires often because I think ninety five percent of the
women I meet have a story like yours.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, and then it's like, well, the last thing you
want is a dude, Like I'm just like.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Oh, you can see the difference in males and females
right away, even in like the first night, I mean,
it is spring break in one house and it is
like real slow, get to know you, sweet little like meet.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
And greet in the other house. Yeah, So of course,
like that's again, that's what I love because you're basically
I mean, I get that they're saying you target the
guys more, but it's true, like man up basically as well, And.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
We've seen a little bit about of that this season.
I think you know one of the guys in particular,
but a couple of guys you know, they were far
more emotional this season, and at least one of them,
or more all of them at times stood in their
own responsibility of their relationship as opposed to pointing the finger.
So I thought that was kind of cool.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I do think, and I wonder, I wonder you for
you as a person. So being a host of any
show is difficult, right, because you have to be able
to hold onto your own character integrity when you're there,
to kind of mediate almost sometimes. But you, as a person,
does do you ever get your heart broke watching them?
Because these all of these couples are younger than all
(02:52):
of us. I mean they're sometimes I'm like, oh, your babies,
you don't need to come to Temptation Island.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You just need to be single, you know, like you
are going to.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Be excellent marriage material ten years and five relationships from now.
But you can almost see it. So do you, as
a person sometimes get hurt for them? Because you can
see it so clearly? I mean, you've been married since like,
I mean, how many are nine eight eighty seven?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Right after the exodus from Egypt, I got married. You know,
I've been married.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Let's not talk about all those years being so far
way because some of us were already alive.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Then yeah, thirty eight. I've been married thirty.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Eight years, so you have this layer of probably expertise
and experience in your own personal you know, personal life
with being married, and you're watching these I don't want
to be derogatory because they're younger.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
They are kids, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Listen. I even say it on the show. I've said
it many times, and I don't have anything to do
with casting. If it were up to me, everybody would
be a little older on the show. I think they
should be around at least twenty eight to thirty five
because there's something at stake, because you know, when you're
twenty two, just break up and dig.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
To somebody else, which we all do and done, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, yeah, But I have made this point on the show,
either on camera off camera, and I think this speaks
to what you're saying, is that we define love differently
as we get older. So like when you're in middle school,
you fall in love at lunch and you break up
at three, and then you fall in love the next
day and that's I'm in love. And then by high
school maybe you actually get your heart broken a little
(04:23):
bit and then you don't throw the word I love
you around quite as quickly, and then college it's a
different trip. And then each time you kind of get
crushed a little bit or you are the one who
crushed someone a little bit, you redefine the weight of
what the word, the phrase I love you actually means.
And so what I'm constantly saying on this show is, look,
(04:45):
you're not wrong for being here, not wrong for your behavior,
but maybe your definition of what love is needs to
be reevaluated and redefined. And especially for the women I
say all the time, look, you know, if you're discontent
or upset or hurt, you might to look at what
you're acquiescing to and maybe take a moment to look
at yourself and define what you think a healthy love
(05:07):
relationship looks like, and don't cast it. It's not a
healthy love relationship with this guy, just in general, because
I think often what happens in relationship is that who
we our relationship to ourselves, the person that shows up
in our life is to some degree a mirror of that.
And so I'm kind of constantly coaching you can't change
the person, you can change you. So let's look at
(05:29):
what you really want and what you think you're worth,
and maybe we can redefine it from that point.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
But I think it's good too how you do it,
because in a way, like you're giving good advice, but
there's a good little bit of stir in it too.
You know, maybe that's not what you're trying to do,
but I think it's that's what makes good TV.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Well, you know, I got asked that earlier. You know,
how much of it am I trying to make good TV?
And how much of it is just whatever? And I
got to be honest with you. I'm not trying to
make good TV of the bombfire. I'm not even like
in my body, like I can't remember what I say
the bombfire till it's over and then my wife tells me.
But what stirs it up maybe is that I'm not
(06:08):
I'm willing to be a little have a little confrontation.
I'm willing to to have them not like me per
se at that moment. In other words, if you're out
of line or I feel like maybe you're you know,
not being completely truthful or clear on it, I'm comfortable
(06:30):
pushing back there. And that then creates the kind of
messy stuff you like to watch on TV, but they're
there for a reason. You know. It doesn't serve anybody
for me to just agree with you. And I think
often when people talk about their problems, they're not looking
to grow, they're looking for agreement from other people.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I feel like they should do a temptation Island Golden
Age like our age. I love, you know you're not
gold but no, I mean for that show, we are right,
But I'm like, I just know I would never sign up,
Like I don't want that. I don't there's enough. I
feel like there's enough temptation out there in general. Then
then then to Instagram is a temptation for people, you know,
(07:08):
like just open to be web web browser. You know,
I'm like, I couldn't, I could never. But what I
do find what's interesting too. And I don't know if
this is an intentional thing or not, But your wife
comes with you at every every filming and personally, like
I love whenever I'm you know, I'm about to go
shoot another movie next week, and you know we we
always travel as a team, not because you know, my
(07:30):
husband doesn't trust me when I'm with these dudes, but
I'm always like I always make sure he meets the
my love interest or you know, and and it's I
don't know, there's like there's safety, not safety, but there's
just I feel like that's good for our just relationship
in general.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I'll tell you why it is for me. You know,
I've had the thank God, a really long career, and
there was a lot of time, like when I was
doing Antiques Road Show, that I was traveling nearly all
summer and Robbie was home with kids. And so really
the way this came about is when they rebooted the show.
Then my kids are grown. Now I'm like, look, I'm
(08:06):
not about to try to go to Hawaii with a
bunch of single hot everybody's and have paradise for a
month and not bring my wife. So if you want
me to come, this is the deal you got to
buy my wife in two And it was only that
was the only reason, right. What it has developed into
is that, in fact, the kind of conversations that she
and I have around this table that I'm at right
(08:27):
now are very similar to what happens with the bonfire.
In fact, everything I say on the bonfire is informed
by what we have done to grow each other up.
So while I joke about it the first season. I said,
you know, you're gonna come with me, but you got
to kind of be invisible. It's not vacation. You know,
I'm working, but you kind of just and then she
kind of crept in like Lucy and Ricky and every
(08:50):
episode of I Love Lucy. But what she's become to
me now is she's the only one that, like I
can bounce stuff off for her and she knows my bullshit.
So where everybody else might go, well that was really great,
she'll go that was great, but that part, where were
you going? And you missed this? And so you know,
I always joke that if I say anything, why is
in the bonfire or something that she'd berated me with
(09:13):
about me that I didn't listen to and how I
appropriated on TV and make it look like I came
up with it. But it has worked out that she's
kind of become counselor to me to help me stay
centered to do this because it's a heady chair gets
a little tricky. There's no real script in these bombfires, so.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
You know, it's nice to have your person there. That's
the thing. Like, you know, Alan's even like, however, I
can you know, come and support and just be there
because I work better when my family unit or some
of my family unit is with me, and most of
the time it's with him because he's my best friend
I want, you know, I like having him around and there,
you know, and I just feel like I can show
up better and do work. And I love that you
(09:53):
guys have had that.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
About your relationship. That's pretty great.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
This is more like the show side of things.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Do you get to speak with these with the what
do we what we call them cast?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Cast?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Yeah? Do you speak with any of the cast after,
like once these shows are tucked in, do you still
have relationship with them? Because I feel like you would
be such a good mentor, you know, even just to
be married as long as you've been married, even if
it was a complete disaster, that still provides a bit
of perspective.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
We all have these couples, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
My husband and I have a mentor couple that we
lean into when things get rocky that can just speak
truth and not about it being perfection. And there's so
much value in just your marital experience.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
And then the.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Fact that you and Robbie do work so closely together.
Do you get to pour in and mentor any of
these sweet.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I will tell you that. I say to them, I
know you think this is a show and we're only
gonna be together for a month, But as far as
I'm concerned, we have a relationship now forever. And I
joke that my relationship to the people that have been
in the shows in the past is similar to a
codependent father and slash stalker. So I'm following them on
all their stuff, and if they post something ambiguously upset,
(11:21):
you know, like as people want to do. Sometimes I'll
immediately DM you okay, you want to talk and they're like, yeah,
we're done with that part. There are some people that
have been on the seasons that I keep somewhat in
touch with. They are all very supportive. Most of them
are really supportive of me, which is great. I say
to all of them, Look, I'm available to you in
(11:43):
any way, friend, business, advice, whatever it is. I'm down
if you want to reach out. And if some have,
and you know, before the season starts, I kind of
check in with the current cast and go are you ready?
And you're cool? And I don't remind them that, you know,
try not to read too many of the comments, and
(12:05):
you know, it gets pretty shitty out there, you know,
But I think that I think actually that's where I
get the lesson from them, is that they're more prepared
for that than I am. They they're kind of in
on the joke more than that I am in on
the joke. I take things more personally than I think
a lot of them do. So yeah, I mean, it's
it's lovely for you to think that I might be
(12:26):
a mentor to them. I think they know that I'm
here and supportive. Most of them do, and if they
want to reach out, I'm here, and they have some have.
But yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Mean, is there anyone that's just absolutely broken your heart
as a couple that you're like, Man, I really thought
they might make it out of this.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
That's a good question, you know what. I it's that's
a hard one for me to answer, because there's a
stance I take that's that kind of keeps me from
going there. So hard is that I say to them
at the beginning, you guys come here as four couples,
and you're in search of answers and all that stuff.
(13:10):
And I even say, and I think, really, you're here
in search of clout. But it's okay because the same
route you get clout is the same route you get
clarity is that if you're real and authentic, both of
those things will happen. So I don't really care what
brought you here, but I do kind of say to them, Look,
I'm committed to you guys leaving the island in a
better place than you came. But let me be clear,
(13:31):
I'm committed to all eight of you, not all four couples.
So it gives me a little bit of detachment. So
because the truth is, when I watch the clips with them,
I'm seeing them for the first time the clips, and
it crushes me to see somebody crushed, like when Mikey's crying,
(13:53):
whether the crocodile tears or real tears or not. I'm
crying and you've seen me on other seasons where I
get tears, right, yeah. But rather than going, oh my god,
that sucks for you so bad, I'm always looking at all, right, well,
what can we take away from this? The way everything
either happens to you or for you? So let's figure
(14:15):
that out and then I can detach a little bit
from my heartbreak for them to find a way to
process it that doesn't leave you gutted, you know, And
sometimes it's gutted. And I'm saying to them, even with Mikey,
I'm like, yeah, it's not all good, dude, you're saying
it's all good. I'm seeing you. This isn't all good.
(14:36):
Sometimes things hurt, and I think you get to say
this hurts me, right, And so I think my heart
gets broken every time one of their hearts gets broken.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah. I also feel like, too, you've got a really
good bullshit meter where you're, oh, you probably see the
guy that's like you were gonna fuck up in the
first like one minute and calls them out. It's awesome,
I do.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I guess it takes a bullshitter to know bullshitter, So
I think maybe that's part of it. But I think
the thing that is interesting is people always ask me,
can I predict, like what's going to happen when I
meet them and know? Because who they are when they
come on the first day is not who they are
when I see them in the final bonfire. And I
know it's a stupid reality show and everything, but there
is some transformational either evolution or devolution that happens. If
(15:27):
that's the word over the process, and they're not the
same people when they see each other again. And so
I try to say that to them at the beginning.
I don't think you. I think you've underestimated what's going
to happen to you. I know, you think you're gonna
come on this TV show and manage your perception. But
what's going to happen is it gets real at some
level and you're gonna change. And so you know that
(15:49):
happens every season, and so I can't predict. And I've
never been good at predicting who's gonna stay together who's not,
And so I stop trying.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Well, I say, we pushed for thirties forties, and we'll
get that to Netflix. And then yeah, because that would
be something I would just like, because that's like the
real ship, like where it's like kids involved and fucking
you like your dad too. Yeah, you know, like, what
are you doing?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Well, we've had a little bit of that in years past.
You think there's I think your point. I think there
is a show, another level of the show. Yeah, because
there's a there's a you know, a pattern it. You know,
when you're twenty two or twenty three and you're in
a relationship, even if it's been forever and the relationship
(16:38):
crashes and burns, well, just go date somebody else.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yes, exactly. The steaks are so much higher.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
There's seven, twenty eight, twenty nine. It starts to get
eggs dying. You know.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, there's a logical clock is ticking, and.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Yeah, there's more at stake. You're just playing the you know,
I just want to go to the club with somebody.
It becomes like, are you you're auditioning at that.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Point, yeah, I think that's where I think that's where
honestly I struggle with it because it just seems like
a bunch of Barbie dolls that are really young, like
Broke my Heart, Yeah, yeah, that are just swapping. And
then I'm just like, yeah, but but but everybody watched
Temptation Islands really great and Mark is an incredible host,
and that is why I show up so truly.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, so thanks for having me on you guys. I've,
of course I've dabbled in the podcast world, and I
don't know if I'm as good at it as you
guys are, So thank you for having me on.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
And no, you're great, You're awesome. You're incredible. You're dabbling
in places we could never so we're really proud of you.
And what is what is your best advice to wrap
up for us ladies relationship wise? How have you shown
up that you go, Okay, this is this is the
best thing that I could have done to show up
for my wife. And what what I need my wife
(17:51):
to do to help show up for me?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Well, it's different relationship for men and for women, which
is yep, really I hate to be gender specific, but
I'm going to break it down like that for me.
Then the advice I usually give and I try to
take and don't do well with this is I think
our partners are I don't even think this is gender specific.
I think it's anybody. Our partners in a gay or
(18:12):
straight relationship. They come to us with problems or feelings.
And the male, the generalization of male response is.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Solution or defend one of the general.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Defense if it's at them, but solution if it's some
other problem in the world. And what I kind of
try to coach to is that I think most people
in relationship don't really want solution right off the bat.
What they want is to be heard and seen. So
the answer you you wereheard. I understand, I hear you.
(18:45):
How can I support you? Yep, don't solve a problem.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Amen, Now for how can we be better wise for.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
The women in relationship? And I don't know so much
in the marry relationship as in seeking when you're still
trying to figure it out. Is what I talk about
is that the acquiescence is your danger. The ce's get
degrees concept of relationship that you've got a list and
(19:13):
he's most of these things. And I have somebody to
go to weddings with and parties with and I holidays with.
But there's some things missing. But he's a B plus
that's cool. So what I'm constantly saying to women is
until you can know your worth and love yourself the
way you want to be loved, you're probably not going
(19:35):
to get the love you want. And because relationships work
in sort of a mirror fashion that the you know,
the higher you hold yourself, what seems to happen is
you attract people that have the same opinion of you
as you have of you. So that's what I usually
say to women is you know, rather than you know,
(19:56):
time is ticking, My clock is going, and this guy's
pretty good it's okay. How about hold yourself in your
worth more than that, and then that shows up for you.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Amen to that. You're the best. Thank you for coming on.
We'll see you on the island.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I appreciate it, you guys, thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Bye bye bye
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
All right, this week's special guest, we have got Mark
Wahlberg on. So he is the host of Temptation Island.
Oh that show, Oh Kramer. I struggle with the show.
I think lives on Temptation Island. Yes he does. Like
I know these country shows, are you kidding me? I'd
(00:23):
have bras thrown at me and I'm a woman, but
like I would see the girls, I mean, these bandmates,
like my bandmate up. I mean, yeah, I'll just stop jogging.
But yeah, man, yeah, it's a lot so trying to
watch it. I want to watch it as it's presented,
but I'm like, my stomach are so young. I want
(00:45):
to like mother them and honey, like he's leaving you
so much. If you think he'll even it's just not
even come on the show. I know. I yes, let's
get them month. Hey, I got to tell you something.
So I really struggle with Temptation Island. But you are
the only part of it that I like because I
feel like you give them such good and I think
(01:06):
it's just my own past, my own shit. I've been
cheated on so many times in my past that I'm like,
it's just a bit of a triggering show for me,
but you give such good advice that I'm like, I
watch it to hear your advice. For that, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
And by the way, speaking to the trigger that you're
talking about and how it's hard to watch is why
I get accused of and then stand fully in that.
I'm kind of more pro woman than man in the
bonfires often because I think ninety five percent of the
women I meet have a story like yours.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, and then it's like, well, the last thing you
want is a dude, Like I'm just like.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Oh, you can see the difference in males and females
right away, even in like the first night, I mean,
it is spring break in one house and it is
like real slow, get to know you, sweet little like meet.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
And greet in the other house. Yeah, So of course,
like that's again, that's what I love because you're basically
I mean, I get that they're saying you target the
guys more, but it's true, like man up basically as well, And.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
We've seen a little bit about of that this season.
I think you know one of the guys in particular,
but a couple of guys you know, they were far
more emotional this season, and at least one of them,
or more all of them at times stood in their
own responsibility of their relationship as opposed to pointing the finger.
So I thought that was kind of cool.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I do think, and I wonder, I wonder you for
you as a person. So being a host of any
show is difficult, right, because you have to be able
to hold onto your own character integrity when you're there,
to kind of mediate almost sometimes. But you, as a person,
does do you ever get your heart broke watching them?
Because these all of these couples are younger than all
(02:52):
of us. I mean they're sometimes I'm like, oh, your babies,
you don't need to come to Temptation Island.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You just need to be single, you know, like you
are going to.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Be excellent marriage material ten years and five relationships from now.
But you can almost see it. So do you, as
a person sometimes get hurt for them? Because you can
see it so clearly? I mean, you've been married since like,
I mean, how many are nine eight eighty seven?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Right after the exodus from Egypt, I got married. You know,
I've been married.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Let's not talk about all those years being so far
way because some of us were already alive.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Then yeah, thirty eight. I've been married thirty.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Eight years, so you have this layer of probably expertise
and experience in your own personal you know, personal life
with being married, and you're watching these I don't want
to be derogatory because they're younger.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
They are kids, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Listen. I even say it on the show. I've said
it many times, and I don't have anything to do
with casting. If it were up to me, everybody would
be a little older on the show. I think they
should be around at least twenty eight to thirty five
because there's something at stake, because you know, when you're
twenty two, just break up and dig.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
To somebody else, which we all do and done, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, yeah, But I have made this point on the show,
either on camera off camera, and I think this speaks
to what you're saying, is that we define love differently
as we get older. So like when you're in middle school,
you fall in love at lunch and you break up
at three, and then you fall in love the next
day and that's I'm in love. And then by high
school maybe you actually get your heart broken a little
(04:23):
bit and then you don't throw the word I love
you around quite as quickly, and then college it's a
different trip. And then each time you kind of get
crushed a little bit or you are the one who
crushed someone a little bit, you redefine the weight of
what the word, the phrase I love you actually means.
And so what I'm constantly saying on this show is, look,
(04:45):
you're not wrong for being here, not wrong for your behavior,
but maybe your definition of what love is needs to
be reevaluated and redefined. And especially for the women I
say all the time, look, you know, if you're discontent
or upset or hurt, you might to look at what
you're acquiescing to and maybe take a moment to look
at yourself and define what you think a healthy love
(05:07):
relationship looks like, and don't cast it. It's not a
healthy love relationship with this guy, just in general, because
I think often what happens in relationship is that who
we our relationship to ourselves, the person that shows up
in our life is to some degree a mirror of that.
And so I'm kind of constantly coaching you can't change
the person, you can change you. So let's look at
(05:29):
what you really want and what you think you're worth,
and maybe we can redefine it from that point.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
But I think it's good too how you do it,
because in a way, like you're giving good advice, but
there's a good little bit of stir in it too.
You know, maybe that's not what you're trying to do,
but I think it's that's what makes good TV.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Well, you know, I got asked that earlier. You know,
how much of it am I trying to make good TV?
And how much of it is just whatever? And I
got to be honest with you. I'm not trying to
make good TV of the bombfire. I'm not even like
in my body, like I can't remember what I say
the bombfire till it's over and then my wife tells me.
But what stirs it up maybe is that I'm not
(06:08):
I'm willing to be a little have a little confrontation.
I'm willing to to have them not like me per
se at that moment. In other words, if you're out
of line or I feel like maybe you're you know,
not being completely truthful or clear on it, I'm comfortable
(06:30):
pushing back there. And that then creates the kind of
messy stuff you like to watch on TV, but they're
there for a reason. You know. It doesn't serve anybody
for me to just agree with you. And I think
often when people talk about their problems, they're not looking
to grow, they're looking for agreement from other people.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I feel like they should do a temptation Island Golden
Age like our age. I love, you know you're not
gold but no, I mean for that show, we are right,
But I'm like, I just know I would never sign up,
Like I don't want that. I don't there's enough. I
feel like there's enough temptation out there in general. Then
then then to Instagram is a temptation for people, you know,
(07:08):
like just open to be web web browser. You know,
I'm like, I couldn't, I could never. But what I
do find what's interesting too. And I don't know if
this is an intentional thing or not, But your wife
comes with you at every every filming and personally, like
I love whenever I'm you know, I'm about to go
shoot another movie next week, and you know we we
always travel as a team, not because you know, my
(07:30):
husband doesn't trust me when I'm with these dudes, but
I'm always like I always make sure he meets the
my love interest or you know, and and it's I
don't know, there's like there's safety, not safety, but there's
just I feel like that's good for our just relationship
in general.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I'll tell you why it is for me. You know,
I've had the thank God, a really long career, and
there was a lot of time, like when I was
doing Antiques Road Show, that I was traveling nearly all
summer and Robbie was home with kids. And so really
the way this came about is when they rebooted the show.
Then my kids are grown. Now I'm like, look, I'm
(08:06):
not about to try to go to Hawaii with a
bunch of single hot everybody's and have paradise for a
month and not bring my wife. So if you want
me to come, this is the deal you got to
buy my wife in two And it was only that
was the only reason, right. What it has developed into
is that, in fact, the kind of conversations that she
and I have around this table that I'm at right
(08:27):
now are very similar to what happens with the bonfire.
In fact, everything I say on the bonfire is informed
by what we have done to grow each other up.
So while I joke about it the first season. I said,
you know, you're gonna come with me, but you got
to kind of be invisible. It's not vacation. You know,
I'm working, but you kind of just and then she
kind of crept in like Lucy and Ricky and every
(08:50):
episode of I Love Lucy. But what she's become to
me now is she's the only one that, like I
can bounce stuff off for her and she knows my bullshit.
So where everybody else might go, well that was really great,
she'll go that was great, but that part, where were
you going? And you missed this? And so you know,
I always joke that if I say anything, why is
in the bonfire or something that she'd berated me with
(09:13):
about me that I didn't listen to and how I
appropriated on TV and make it look like I came
up with it. But it has worked out that she's
kind of become counselor to me to help me stay
centered to do this because it's a heady chair gets
a little tricky. There's no real script in these bombfires, so.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
You know, it's nice to have your person there. That's
the thing. Like, you know, Alan's even like, however, I
can you know, come and support and just be there
because I work better when my family unit or some
of my family unit is with me, and most of
the time it's with him because he's my best friend
I want, you know, I like having him around and there,
you know, and I just feel like I can show
up better and do work. And I love that you
(09:53):
guys have had that.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
About your relationship. That's pretty great.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
This is more like the show side of things.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Do you get to speak with these with the what
do we what we call them cast?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Cast?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Yeah? Do you speak with any of the cast after,
like once these shows are tucked in, do you still
have relationship with them? Because I feel like you would
be such a good mentor, you know, even just to
be married as long as you've been married, even if
it was a complete disaster, that still provides a bit
of perspective.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
We all have these couples, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
My husband and I have a mentor couple that we
lean into when things get rocky that can just speak
truth and not about it being perfection. And there's so
much value in just your marital experience.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
And then the.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Fact that you and Robbie do work so closely together.
Do you get to pour in and mentor any of
these sweet.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I will tell you that. I say to them, I
know you think this is a show and we're only
gonna be together for a month, But as far as
I'm concerned, we have a relationship now forever. And I
joke that my relationship to the people that have been
in the shows in the past is similar to a
codependent father and slash stalker. So I'm following them on
all their stuff, and if they post something ambiguously upset,
(11:21):
you know, like as people want to do. Sometimes I'll
immediately DM you okay, you want to talk and they're like, yeah,
we're done with that part. There are some people that
have been on the seasons that I keep somewhat in
touch with. They are all very supportive. Most of them
are really supportive of me, which is great. I say
to all of them, Look, I'm available to you in
(11:43):
any way, friend, business, advice, whatever it is. I'm down
if you want to reach out. And if some have,
and you know, before the season starts, I kind of
check in with the current cast and go are you ready?
And you're cool? And I don't remind them that, you know,
try not to read too many of the comments, and
(12:05):
you know, it gets pretty shitty out there, you know,
But I think that I think actually that's where I
get the lesson from them, is that they're more prepared
for that than I am. They they're kind of in
on the joke more than that I am in on
the joke. I take things more personally than I think
a lot of them do. So yeah, I mean, it's
it's lovely for you to think that I might be
(12:26):
a mentor to them. I think they know that I'm
here and supportive. Most of them do, and if they
want to reach out, I'm here, and they have some have.
But yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Mean, is there anyone that's just absolutely broken your heart
as a couple that you're like, Man, I really thought
they might make it out of this.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
That's a good question, you know what. I it's that's
a hard one for me to answer, because there's a
stance I take that's that kind of keeps me from
going there. So hard is that I say to them
at the beginning, you guys come here as four couples,
and you're in search of answers and all that stuff.
(13:10):
And I even say, and I think, really, you're here
in search of clout. But it's okay because the same
route you get clout is the same route you get
clarity is that if you're real and authentic, both of
those things will happen. So I don't really care what
brought you here, but I do kind of say to them, Look,
I'm committed to you guys leaving the island in a
better place than you came. But let me be clear,
(13:31):
I'm committed to all eight of you, not all four couples.
So it gives me a little bit of detachment. So
because the truth is, when I watch the clips with them,
I'm seeing them for the first time the clips, and
it crushes me to see somebody crushed, like when Mikey's crying,
(13:53):
whether the crocodile tears or real tears or not. I'm
crying and you've seen me on other seasons where I
get tears, right, yeah. But rather than going, oh my god,
that sucks for you so bad, I'm always looking at all, right, well,
what can we take away from this? The way everything
either happens to you or for you? So let's figure
(14:15):
that out and then I can detach a little bit
from my heartbreak for them to find a way to
process it that doesn't leave you gutted, you know, And
sometimes it's gutted. And I'm saying to them, even with Mikey,
I'm like, yeah, it's not all good, dude, you're saying
it's all good. I'm seeing you. This isn't all good.
(14:36):
Sometimes things hurt, and I think you get to say
this hurts me, right, And so I think my heart
gets broken every time one of their hearts gets broken.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah. I also feel like, too, you've got a really
good bullshit meter where you're, oh, you probably see the
guy that's like you were gonna fuck up in the
first like one minute and calls them out. It's awesome,
I do.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I guess it takes a bullshitter to know bullshitter, So
I think maybe that's part of it. But I think
the thing that is interesting is people always ask me,
can I predict, like what's going to happen when I
meet them and know? Because who they are when they
come on the first day is not who they are
when I see them in the final bonfire. And I
know it's a stupid reality show and everything, but there
is some transformational either evolution or devolution that happens. If
(15:27):
that's the word over the process, and they're not the
same people when they see each other again. And so
I try to say that to them at the beginning.
I don't think you. I think you've underestimated what's going
to happen to you. I know, you think you're gonna
come on this TV show and manage your perception. But
what's going to happen is it gets real at some
level and you're gonna change. And so you know that
(15:49):
happens every season, and so I can't predict. And I've
never been good at predicting who's gonna stay together who's not,
And so I stop trying.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Well, I say, we pushed for thirties forties, and we'll
get that to Netflix. And then yeah, because that would
be something I would just like, because that's like the
real ship, like where it's like kids involved and fucking
you like your dad too. Yeah, you know, like, what
are you doing?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Well, we've had a little bit of that in years past.
You think there's I think your point. I think there
is a show, another level of the show. Yeah, because
there's a there's a you know, a pattern it. You know,
when you're twenty two or twenty three and you're in
a relationship, even if it's been forever and the relationship
(16:38):
crashes and burns, well, just go date somebody else.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yes, exactly. The steaks are so much higher.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
There's seven, twenty eight, twenty nine. It starts to get
eggs dying. You know.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, there's a logical clock is ticking, and.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Yeah, there's more at stake. You're just playing the you know,
I just want to go to the club with somebody.
It becomes like, are you you're auditioning at that.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Point, yeah, I think that's where I think that's where
honestly I struggle with it because it just seems like
a bunch of Barbie dolls that are really young, like
Broke my Heart, Yeah, yeah, that are just swapping. And
then I'm just like, yeah, but but but everybody watched
Temptation Islands really great and Mark is an incredible host,
and that is why I show up so truly.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, so thanks for having me on you guys. I've,
of course I've dabbled in the podcast world, and I
don't know if I'm as good at it as you
guys are, So thank you for having me on.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
And no, you're great, You're awesome. You're incredible. You're dabbling
in places we could never so we're really proud of you.
And what is what is your best advice to wrap
up for us ladies relationship wise? How have you shown
up that you go, Okay, this is this is the
best thing that I could have done to show up
for my wife. And what what I need my wife
(17:51):
to do to help show up for me?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Well, it's different relationship for men and for women, which
is yep, really I hate to be gender specific, but
I'm going to break it down like that for me.
Then the advice I usually give and I try to
take and don't do well with this is I think
our partners are I don't even think this is gender specific.
I think it's anybody. Our partners in a gay or
(18:12):
straight relationship. They come to us with problems or feelings.
And the male, the generalization of male response is.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Solution or defend one of the general.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Defense if it's at them, but solution if it's some
other problem in the world. And what I kind of
try to coach to is that I think most people
in relationship don't really want solution right off the bat.
What they want is to be heard and seen. So
the answer you you wereheard. I understand, I hear you.
(18:45):
How can I support you? Yep, don't solve a problem.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Amen, Now for how can we be better wise for.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
The women in relationship? And I don't know so much
in the marry relationship as in seeking when you're still
trying to figure it out. Is what I talk about
is that the acquiescence is your danger. The ce's get
degrees concept of relationship that you've got a list and
(19:13):
he's most of these things. And I have somebody to
go to weddings with and parties with and I holidays with.
But there's some things missing. But he's a B plus
that's cool. So what I'm constantly saying to women is
until you can know your worth and love yourself the
way you want to be loved, you're probably not going
(19:35):
to get the love you want. And because relationships work
in sort of a mirror fashion that the you know,
the higher you hold yourself, what seems to happen is
you attract people that have the same opinion of you
as you have of you. So that's what I usually
say to women is you know, rather than you know,
(19:56):
time is ticking, My clock is going, and this guy's
pretty good it's okay. How about hold yourself in your
worth more than that, and then that shows up for you.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Amen to that. You're the best. Thank you for coming on.
We'll see you on the island.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I appreciate it, you guys, thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Bye bye bye
Host
Jana Kramer
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Bleep! with Ana Navarro
Fear thrives in silence and confusion. Ana Navarro rejects both. Her voice is an antidote to today’s chaos. Her new podcast, Bleep! with Ana Navarro, takes on today’s most pressing issues with the voices most connected to it: decision-makers, political leaders, cultural shapers, and people on the frontlines of the story. The conversations acknowledge the emotions we all feel—despair, sadness, fear— but emerge with knowledge, perspective, and hope. The belief is simple: fearless dialogue can transform fear into courage, and courage into change. When fear dominates the headlines, this show digs deeper. Because information, debate, and conversation don’t just ease fear, they give us power to shape the future.
Hey Jonas!
Hey Jonas! The official Jonas Brothers podcast. Hosted by Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas. It’s the Jonas Brothers you know... musicians, actors, and well, yes, brothers. Now, they’re sharing another side of themselves in the playful, intimate, and irreverent way only they can. Spend time with the Jonas Brothers here and stay a little bit longer for deep conversations like never before.