July 7, 2026 • 26 mins
Jana is hanging out with Baylen Dupree from “Baylen Out Loud” on TLC!
Baylen shares her story of growing up with Tourette's Syndrome and she helps us understand some of the hidden challenges she faces on a daily basis.
Plus, Baylen opens up about her relationship and we hear the story of how she first started dating her supportive husband.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Jana Kramer and iHeartRadio podcast. This week's
special guest, we have Bailan dupre Duly. She is a
twenty three year old TikTok influencer that uses her platform
to advocate for life with Tourette's. She's got about twelve
point eight million followers. She was diagnosed with Tourette's at seventeen,
and she has been sharing all about her journey. She's
(00:23):
got a TV show called Bailin Out Loud. Third season
is airing on TLC where she's going to share her
wedding and lots of other things. But she is our
special guest today, so maybe you ready, let's get her on.
We are so excited to have you on the show.
I just the way that you just openly share about
(00:43):
your life and everything is just so beautiful and I
just can only I can only imagine how many people
you're helping through sharing your experiences the way that you
have and continue to do so. I just I just
applaud you for that, because that it had to have
been a tough. Was it hard to start that?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
First? Thank you so much. Second, it was definitely difficult.
I was sitting at the lunch table one time in
college with all my friends, I was like, I wonder
if I should start a social media to like help
other people with tourettes, because I also, before starting social media,
was followed around the store and videotaped and I didn't
(01:25):
really like that because it's a really long story. But basically,
when I was younger, my tics were there, but then
they went away, and then they came back right before COVID,
but they got really really bad before COVID, and so
I had to reintroduce myself to everybody. And that also
(01:48):
meant my classmates and my family and my friends and
absolutely everybody in my family.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
So then being able, so then you were talking with
your friends and you basically said like you were questioning
whether or not you should start an account.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I just wanted my story to be told from my
voice and somebody else's, and I didn't want people following
me around and recording me because they've never seen me before.
After my condition got bad, So after that got bad,
I went to social media and I kind of took
a chance, and it was very hard at first, just
(02:28):
because I didn't expect it to happen the way that
it did. I just wanted to put my face out
there so that that video she looked stupid posting, and
I didn't want that to come like, I didn't want
it to come from her. I wanted it to come
from me.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I get that. I totally, yeah, I totally, one hundred
percent get that. I remember telling one of my I
share openly things. I'm like, hey, people can talk about it,
but it's when it's come from your voice. There's an
empowerment behind it rather than being the either laughing stock
or the oh she's like. People will look at me
and be like, oh, yeah, she's an embarrassment or this,
(03:09):
that and the other, and it's like, no, Like, if
I talk about it, it comes from an empowering place
instead of a place of someone talking about it like
that's not my voice exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
I kind of want to go back to six or
seven year old Valen for a minute because I'm just
I love you so much, it's kind of almost ridiculous,
and there's so many pieces of you that is. I
feel like when you are calm that it keeps your
ticks a little bit at bay. It's like from what
I observe your behavior, like when your environment feels calm,
(03:42):
like when you I can. Janna and I both run
very anxious human beings, and so there's a lot of
like I can almost watch it come over you when
I'm watching some of the programs or I'm just watching
you do stories, and so much of who you are
is so relatable, even if we're not suffering from the
same kind of neurological experience. There's so much of you
(04:07):
that's so relatable, and you're really fun and really cute.
But I want to go back to six or seven
year old you because I want to know how I
guess My question is, how did it feel when you're like, hey,
something feels a little like off here, or there's something
in my body that feels like I can't quite control it.
Do you remember when that started? And do you remember
(04:27):
it's progression? How did that feel to you, like as
you as a person in your heart, like just six
or seven year old kid, Balen.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Six or seven year old Balen was struggling a lot
while it's really had a nerve.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And we're really safe here. So if there's anything you
don't feel like you want to answer, that's okay to you.
But I just think you're really, really, really precious You're
a really special, special.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Human and we have seven year olds, so we just
want to like hug the seven year old in you
right now too.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I had a great childhood. I love my parents. They
gave me the best life in the entire world. But
I struggled a lot in school. Yeah, I struggled a lot.
I remember being six and having to take a.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Psychological test because I couldn't count to one hundred. I
remember not being able to read it write correctly, so
I would spell right like WRT it T, I'd spell
it r I T T, and I just couldn't process anything.
(05:30):
So I was held back at a very young age.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
And now I've developed and I've gotten better with grammar
and vocabulary and things like that.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Not the best, not.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
The best of us English, the best.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
I'm making up words often on Great Company, actually.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
But I do remember being in kindergarten and being like,
why why do I have to do this? Or why
do I feel like I can't not do it?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
And then you kind of also have the pressures right of,
like you have little friends, and that age is just
confusing in general. I mean, like Janna said, we both
have seven year olds, and there's so much about my
seven year old that's just so emotional at sometimes and
he can't even he's not processing that so to feel
like you feel. And then you're taking these tests and going.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Like, well, well, and he's Mike my son starting that
he's the shortest Kiden class, and he's constantly like I'm
the shortest and I'm the like he's already starting to compare.
And I feel like that's the age where I'm like, oh,
this is where I'm noticing that piece come in, you know,
where he's seeing that he's not like maybe some of
his other friends.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
M hm. It's it's definitely a really really tough age
because you're at the age of realizing that you can
compare your life to other people's. And the one thing
that like it's really hard for six year olds to
digest is that comparison is the thief of joy and
(06:58):
it's just really really hard, Like looking back, like I
didn't necessarily compare myself until like mid age, until I
was about going through puberty. Like again, I was the
only girl in my grade to have my period at
eleven years old, and I was the only girl to
have boobs. I was the tallest girl in my grade,
and I didn't grow anymore. Ever, since fourth grade, I've
(07:23):
stopped growing. So it's completely relatable to know like that
your son's going through that, but to also know that
being vulnerable is a strength and that there is someone
out there like you. Again, my husband, if if your
son wants to watch this. My husband was five foot
(07:45):
one until he was seventeen years old old. So it
genetics is a crazy thing. Like, it's just it's hard,
and comparing yourself is so hard. So the best advice
I could give to tell him is to just let
him know that he's not alone and that.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
You're the sweetest.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
He's just sweet. He's the sweetest.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
You are so sweet. How what did your husband like?
How did you? How did you guys meet? Again? I
should know this.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
We met on hinge?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
You met on hinge? I love it. Love that me
and my husband met on Instagram. So there you go.
So you know, it's just like how people meet now.
But what was I mean? Obviously you know you had
you had been posting and about your life. Did he know?
Did he know about you prior to y'all meeting on Hinge?
He had no idea who I was, no idea okay, no.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Idea who I was. And he texted me for.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
This because you have a massive following, I mean massive huge.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I was worried about that going into dating, because there
was god I talked to you that was like, oh,
you should totally post me on your feed, and I'm like,
what what is going on right now?
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Janna knows nothing about that.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
No zating and the post me on your feed bah,
and we really need to have a little offscreen time
with each other.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
So when I met him, I was just a little worried.
And I talked to like obviously guys before that, and
they all wasted my time. They're like, let's talk for
like four weeks and then let's hang out, and I'm like, no, no,
no, no no, I need to know how you treat me
in person before we're texting for six weeks. So he
double texted me because I didn't really like the first text.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Decent Okay, I love a double text.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
And I was like, okay, you're speaking more of my language.
We're talking about food, we're talking about ice cream. I'm like,
I can I can get it with this conversation. But
it was really really lovely because he had no idea
who I was, and in my platform it said something
you may not know about me from my photo is
that I have Tourette syndrome. That's all I said. I
(10:03):
didn't say, oh, I'm a social media influencer, oh like
blah blah blah blah blah. So when we were texting,
I think it was like, what like.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Was he there away? Yay? Come in here, hubs, look out?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Cute?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Wait? Can we ask him a question too? Is he
allowed to come in on this?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Okay? So you guys then started texting when when you
witnessed the first what do you what do you call?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Episode? Is it? Or the tick? Okay, when you witnessed
the first tick for did you say like, hey, this
is going to happen or it's just like how is
your feelings around it? When it happened?
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (10:45):
So when we we were texting for probably a few
days before we met up in person, and.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
When she said that, were you like what did you think?
Speaker 6 (10:56):
So she she let me know that she does have
a condition, and I searched her up on social media
and I realized that she had a pretty big platform.
But I used the videos that she was posting on
her platform to learn about it, and so Washington, the
(11:17):
platform that she built really helped me learn a lot
in those few days before I met up with her.
So I really just tried to when we met in person,
to just really not pay any mind to the tics
and try to make her feel as most comfortable during
that first time that we met. So that was kind
of my goal.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
You got a great husband, I do. You're a good one. Well,
thanks for popping in. You're so sweet. Thanks for loving
or the way that she deserves to be loved. That
is so sweet, you said toting Balen.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
On one of the episodes, And I think this might
be when I fell in love with you the most,
but you described him as your medicine, and that just
really like I It was such a powerful statement. I
think it's more powerful than you even understand, because I
think we sometimes forget in this human connection how important
(12:14):
it is for us to find the person that feels
like that to us. And when you I think it
was right when he was about to go away or
something for like a camp or a training camp or something,
and you mentioned like I just can't, like, I don't
want to be away from him. He's my medicine, and
I thought, what a special way to phrase that, and
your your brain is just so profound to me anyways,
but just the verbiage behind that really hit home with me.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Thank you so much. He truly is like I he
pulled me out of a place that's so undescribable that
I never really want to go back to that. I
don't think I will because of him. I've needed him
for a very long time.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Does the world feel a little less lonely? Obviously, you
know when you have someone just even physically there. But
when you met him and it felt like I think
we all as women go through this a little bit, like, right,
we have these you have beautiful parents. I mean watching
your mom and dad is just really really special to me.
They just love so fully and it's so special. But
(13:15):
we as parents love because that is our person, right Like,
that's a piece of our heartbeat out of our body.
So when you get to meet someone like your husband
who loves you the way that he loves does it
feel then Does it feel like you finally got your
missing piece, like your partner in crime, like the through
thick and thin and because he chose you? Does that
(13:38):
feel different?
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I was just gonna say he has every part of
him that I don't have, so it just meshes so well.
He's again it's cheesy, but the ying to my yang
every piece of me that I don't like or I'm
insecure about, or I don't feel the best about, or
that's not my strong suit, he either has or he
(14:00):
just loves me regardless, And that's really hard to find
it really, it really is our relationship. We've felt like
we've been married for a long time because we still
chew chewed, we still chose each other every day, through arguments,
(14:21):
through laughter, through tears, through dog, vet bills, everything everything.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Because you are so I feel like you just how
you handle everything that you've gone through and obviously it
was probably tough as a kid. How do you deal
with the online bullies of people that might go into
your comments saying like, oh, she's putting this on Like yeah,
she might have like Trett's, but she's you know, putting
on more of an act. What and like, how do you?
(14:53):
How do you manage that? Because I feel like you're
so level headed and you've got such a good support
around you that to me, it doesn't seem like that
would even affect you. But you know, I also am
a very sensitive person. And even though I say, oh,
it doesn't affect me, there's still a piece of me
that it hurts when I see negative things or things
that are not true. So where do you how do
you kind of process that in your brain when you
(15:15):
see things or hear things.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
It's been a process. I'm not gonna lie. I've been
doing social media for about four or five years now,
and when I first started, I did not want it.
I didn't want to continue. Yeah, I was like, why
is everyone telling me that I'm faking this condition that
I live with every single day? Not only tell me
I am faking, like follow me around stores, videotape me
when I'm just not ticking, post it and tell me
(15:38):
that I'm faking it. Like at this point, like you're
ruining my image because I struggle with this every day.
For example, we just got back from our honeymoon in
West Palm Beach and where we were staying at there
was a guy at the bar and I go to
get a text message later under under my DMS or
in the comments. It was in the comments, and he
(15:59):
was like, oh, I was just at your hotel and
I was looking at you for a whole hour, and
you didn't tick once, and I wanted to be so
I responded because if something is going to cause me
to get worked up or get my feelings hurt, that's
when I'll respond, Like you're gonna sit there and stare
(16:20):
at me for an hour, Like you have no idea
how much sect techniques I use for my tics. You
have no idea one how mild ticks can actually be.
So it's just like there is a part of me
at first that really struggled with it, and now there's
a part of me that if something's going to bother me,
or if something you're going to put out there is wrong,
(16:40):
I'm going to fix that for you really quickly. Because
I don't need to prove to anybody that I have
the condition that I have. I don't need to prove
how bad or how good it is. I don't need
to prove to anybody.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
That I have what I have have.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I just don't. So for you to tell me, like, oh,
you're faking your turets or things like that don't really
get underneath my skin, unless, for example, you were this
guy that came up and took a photo with me
and then goes on social media and tells me, I'm
fagan Tourette syndrome, Like.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
What are we so hurtful? You know, the whole thing
is incredibly hurtful, But I love the fact that you're
putting it all out there. You've got your bailing out
loud on TLC. What is your What is your hope
for people that watch the show?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
My hope for the show is that people understand what
Tourette syndrome is and that what it looks like in me,
I have Tourette syndrome. Stupid. Tourette syndrome is very complex.
There's good days, there's bad days, but there's also a
huge spectrum of what turets can look like. And I
just wish people understood that just because people have simple
(17:53):
ticks like throat clearing, eye blinking.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
That was what I was gonna ask because I have
again son, He's got this thing where I think, now
it's a nervous habit or a nervous tick, but he
he goes like that a lot. And I do it
when I'm nervous. Whenever I get nervous, KB he's heard
me do it. I'll go like that every time I
start to get anxiety, whether I'm on a plane or
in the car. We were on their way to concert.
I'm like, I could not stop clearing my throat, and
(18:17):
I noticed it in my son whenever he's anxious, and
so is that, Like, can can you kind of help
explain to that piece?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Every one in five people experience a tick in their lifetime.
It's very very common, very common, like Tourette's and tick
disorders are way more common than what people think. There's
just not enough information or guidance to be able to
stick to get help. When I first got diagnosed, my
(18:46):
doctor looked at me and he told me, you can't
do anything. You can't drive, you can't work, you can't
go to school. You don't fit in society. Honey, you
need to stay at home. This is what my neurologist
told me.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
How old were you when that when that was being
said to you?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Sixteen?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Oh, Balen.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
I hope he's lost his medical license me too.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
And I have no idea what his name is or
else i'd say it.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I actually don't doubt that you would say it. And
I like that about it, like I've.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Thought about it so many times, because it's just like,
how do you tell me that? And then look at
me afterwards and be like, I don't even see patients
with Tourette's, so I can't diagnose you with anything. I
see patients with epilepsy, And I'm like, why didn't you
tell me this before wasting my time and telling me
that I'm basically a piece of shit.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Well, and what he's saying to you is so definite
that it's like he's not even qualified to say those
things to you to begin with, no.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
But he did. So he was like, I can't see
you as a patient anymore. So when I went to
the Mayo Clinic to get official diagnosis right before I
turned eighteen, my doctor looked at me there and she
was like, this is one hundred percent winded up. What
Turet syndrome is. I've seen thousands and hundreds of thousands
of patients. This is on tea on point to what
(20:16):
turets is, what it can look like, how it manifests,
how everything hits every criteria. And she looked at me
and she goes, good luck finding help. Oh my gosh,
you mean and she said, well to get sea bit
cognitive behavioral intervention for tics, which is therapy for Tourette
syndrome isn't covered by insurance, and there's only about ten
(20:39):
hospitals in the world, ten hospitals in America.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
That do that.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
And I was like, okay, So we tried getting me
to a college in Virginia that had sebit therapy when
I first got diagnosed, and it was a two year
waiting list to get in. I was never told about
the Tourette Association of America when I was first diagnosed
with it, which is a huge outlet for anybody that
(21:06):
has a tic disorder, Tourette syndrome. It's just truly home.
It's a community that you'll never forget if you have
Tourette syndrome or a tick disorder. And so when I
went through all of these things, there's just not enough education,
there's not enough awareness, there's not enough advocacy to help
(21:27):
people with Tourette. So what I just wish is that
people gave a little bit more grace and if something
doesn't sound normal, or maybe they shouldn't be saying that,
or maybe oh, she's done it eighteen times in the
past five minutes. Maybe I shouldn't stare at her, Maybe
I shouldn't pull out my phone in the airport and
(21:48):
take vo because the real difference is is that people
think a lot of times it's a good thing, like, oh,
it's it's Balen. I'm just I know, like I don't
know if you're recording me because of my background, because
of you know who I am, or you're recording me
to make fun of me. I never know the difference why.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I don't think anyone should be recording new period, to
be quite honest, like we would shouldn't do that to anyone.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
It happens all the time.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
And what I'm just really violating, Bailey is that it.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Just comes with it. It just you have to accept it.
It comes with it. And I'm like, it's not even
about accepting it. It's about the fact that I don't
know why you're recording me in the bathroom, in the airport,
out to dinner, Like it just says a lot about
(22:37):
if I never had a social media following at all,
would you do that?
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Yeah, you're a really special human, like to be able
to even navigate these waters. That's a really So the.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
People that are listening that are big fans that do
run into you, would you like for them to say, Hey,
can we can I take a picture of you, like
a picture with you instead of being recorded. That feels
like a simple, a valid request.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I tell everybody that comes up to me, thank you
so much for coming up to me, like it means
a lot. I love taking photos. I love meeting people.
That's the only way I find out that I'm making
an impact on people's lives. But what I just what
I just wish from the bottom of my heart is
when people approach me, don't call me my ticks. Don't
(23:21):
call me the reds girl. Like if if anything, I'm
fine with Bailey. I'm fine with Bailey. I'll take it
at this point, Okay, just not.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
To well that's hurtful. I mean, we don't want to
be labeled by the things that you know that we've
we've all you know, experienced or gone through and you know,
so that's that's, you know, not a great thing. What
are you for this season of bilin out Loud? What
are you excited for the fans to see my wedding?
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Well? Yeay, ours, but ours? Ours? But mine.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Was it everything he thought it would be.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
It's so cool because I gave everything into my planner's hands,
which people probably think I'm crazy about, Like, yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
A lot of I don't think I can do that.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
And we showed up on the wedding day and everything
blew us away. I mean the aisle, thet ceremony, cocktail our,
the colors like I gave her, like the color scheme
I wanted, and basically was like take it, like yeah,
give me, like you know what I like. I like colors,
I like fun I like funky, I like pink. Give
(24:31):
me it.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Is there something in the season where you're nervous about
people to see, probably.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
The back and forth I've had with my sister. A
lot of people don't view my sister as a good person,
and it's very sad for me because I live with
her every day and sometimes what you see on TV
you're only seeing one side of and so nobody really
gets to see her soft side, her loving side, her
kind side, her caring side. Like she's going through a lot,
(25:00):
and there is a lot that did happen this season,
and I was very vulnerable with sharing that. But I'm
I was also very scared with sharing that because she's
my sister. She's the only sister I have, and her
reputation is already not good, and so I just wish
people gave a little bit more grace for understanding that
(25:24):
you're only really seeing what.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
You see, right, No, that makes sense. Well, I'm I
am so excited to watch the season's Bilin out Loud.
I'm excited to see your beautiful wedding. You looked like
I mean, Cinderette, like just just stunning beautiful, like a
true like princess. So thank you for coming on the show.
Everyone watched Balin out Loud, and thank you for again
(25:47):
spreading you what you share on social media and helping
people not feel alone. And I think that's a beautiful,
beautiful thing and it just really speaks to your you know,
you're who you are. So thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Thank you say in Nashville.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Let's hang out, stick around girl please? Well, thank you
so much. Love, appreciate you, Hi, sister,
Wind Down with Jana Kramer and iHeartRadio podcast. This week's
special guest, we have Bailan dupre Duly. She is a
twenty three year old TikTok influencer that uses her platform
to advocate for life with Tourette's. She's got about twelve
point eight million followers. She was diagnosed with Tourette's at seventeen,
and she has been sharing all about her journey. She's
(00:23):
got a TV show called Bailin Out Loud. Third season
is airing on TLC where she's going to share her
wedding and lots of other things. But she is our
special guest today, so maybe you ready, let's get her on.
We are so excited to have you on the show.
I just the way that you just openly share about
(00:43):
your life and everything is just so beautiful and I
just can only I can only imagine how many people
you're helping through sharing your experiences the way that you
have and continue to do so. I just I just
applaud you for that, because that it had to have
been a tough. Was it hard to start that?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
First? Thank you so much. Second, it was definitely difficult.
I was sitting at the lunch table one time in
college with all my friends, I was like, I wonder
if I should start a social media to like help
other people with tourettes, because I also, before starting social media,
was followed around the store and videotaped and I didn't
(01:25):
really like that because it's a really long story. But basically,
when I was younger, my tics were there, but then
they went away, and then they came back right before COVID,
but they got really really bad before COVID, and so
I had to reintroduce myself to everybody. And that also
(01:48):
meant my classmates and my family and my friends and
absolutely everybody in my family.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
So then being able, so then you were talking with
your friends and you basically said like you were questioning
whether or not you should start an account.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I just wanted my story to be told from my
voice and somebody else's, and I didn't want people following
me around and recording me because they've never seen me before.
After my condition got bad, So after that got bad,
I went to social media and I kind of took
a chance, and it was very hard at first, just
(02:28):
because I didn't expect it to happen the way that
it did. I just wanted to put my face out
there so that that video she looked stupid posting, and
I didn't want that to come like, I didn't want
it to come from her. I wanted it to come
from me.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I get that. I totally, yeah, I totally, one hundred
percent get that. I remember telling one of my I
share openly things. I'm like, hey, people can talk about it,
but it's when it's come from your voice. There's an
empowerment behind it rather than being the either laughing stock
or the oh she's like. People will look at me
and be like, oh, yeah, she's an embarrassment or this,
(03:09):
that and the other, and it's like, no, Like, if
I talk about it, it comes from an empowering place
instead of a place of someone talking about it like
that's not my voice exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
I kind of want to go back to six or
seven year old Valen for a minute because I'm just
I love you so much, it's kind of almost ridiculous,
and there's so many pieces of you that is. I
feel like when you are calm that it keeps your
ticks a little bit at bay. It's like from what
I observe your behavior, like when your environment feels calm,
(03:42):
like when you I can. Janna and I both run
very anxious human beings, and so there's a lot of
like I can almost watch it come over you when
I'm watching some of the programs or I'm just watching
you do stories, and so much of who you are
is so relatable, even if we're not suffering from the
same kind of neurological experience. There's so much of you
(04:07):
that's so relatable, and you're really fun and really cute.
But I want to go back to six or seven
year old you because I want to know how I
guess My question is, how did it feel when you're like, hey,
something feels a little like off here, or there's something
in my body that feels like I can't quite control it.
Do you remember when that started? And do you remember
(04:27):
it's progression? How did that feel to you, like as
you as a person in your heart, like just six
or seven year old kid, Balen.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Six or seven year old Balen was struggling a lot
while it's really had a nerve.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And we're really safe here. So if there's anything you
don't feel like you want to answer, that's okay to you.
But I just think you're really, really, really precious You're
a really special, special.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Human and we have seven year olds, so we just
want to like hug the seven year old in you
right now too.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I had a great childhood. I love my parents. They
gave me the best life in the entire world. But
I struggled a lot in school. Yeah, I struggled a lot.
I remember being six and having to take a.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Psychological test because I couldn't count to one hundred. I
remember not being able to read it write correctly, so
I would spell right like WRT it T, I'd spell
it r I T T, and I just couldn't process anything.
(05:30):
So I was held back at a very young age.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
And now I've developed and I've gotten better with grammar
and vocabulary and things like that.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Not the best, not.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
The best of us English, the best.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
I'm making up words often on Great Company, actually.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
But I do remember being in kindergarten and being like,
why why do I have to do this? Or why
do I feel like I can't not do it?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
And then you kind of also have the pressures right of,
like you have little friends, and that age is just
confusing in general. I mean, like Janna said, we both
have seven year olds, and there's so much about my
seven year old that's just so emotional at sometimes and
he can't even he's not processing that so to feel
like you feel. And then you're taking these tests and going.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Like, well, well, and he's Mike my son starting that
he's the shortest Kiden class, and he's constantly like I'm
the shortest and I'm the like he's already starting to compare.
And I feel like that's the age where I'm like, oh,
this is where I'm noticing that piece come in, you know,
where he's seeing that he's not like maybe some of
his other friends.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
M hm. It's it's definitely a really really tough age
because you're at the age of realizing that you can
compare your life to other people's. And the one thing
that like it's really hard for six year olds to
digest is that comparison is the thief of joy and
(06:58):
it's just really really hard, Like looking back, like I
didn't necessarily compare myself until like mid age, until I
was about going through puberty. Like again, I was the
only girl in my grade to have my period at
eleven years old, and I was the only girl to
have boobs. I was the tallest girl in my grade,
and I didn't grow anymore. Ever, since fourth grade, I've
(07:23):
stopped growing. So it's completely relatable to know like that
your son's going through that, but to also know that
being vulnerable is a strength and that there is someone
out there like you. Again, my husband, if if your
son wants to watch this. My husband was five foot
(07:45):
one until he was seventeen years old old. So it
genetics is a crazy thing. Like, it's just it's hard,
and comparing yourself is so hard. So the best advice
I could give to tell him is to just let
him know that he's not alone and that.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
You're the sweetest.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
He's just sweet. He's the sweetest.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
You are so sweet. How what did your husband like?
How did you? How did you guys meet? Again? I
should know this.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
We met on hinge?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
You met on hinge? I love it. Love that me
and my husband met on Instagram. So there you go.
So you know, it's just like how people meet now.
But what was I mean? Obviously you know you had
you had been posting and about your life. Did he know?
Did he know about you prior to y'all meeting on Hinge?
He had no idea who I was, no idea okay, no.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Idea who I was. And he texted me for.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
This because you have a massive following, I mean massive huge.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I was worried about that going into dating, because there
was god I talked to you that was like, oh,
you should totally post me on your feed, and I'm like,
what what is going on right now?
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Janna knows nothing about that.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
No zating and the post me on your feed bah,
and we really need to have a little offscreen time
with each other.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
So when I met him, I was just a little worried.
And I talked to like obviously guys before that, and
they all wasted my time. They're like, let's talk for
like four weeks and then let's hang out, and I'm like, no, no,
no, no no, I need to know how you treat me
in person before we're texting for six weeks. So he
double texted me because I didn't really like the first text.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Decent Okay, I love a double text.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
And I was like, okay, you're speaking more of my language.
We're talking about food, we're talking about ice cream. I'm like,
I can I can get it with this conversation. But
it was really really lovely because he had no idea
who I was, and in my platform it said something
you may not know about me from my photo is
that I have Tourette syndrome. That's all I said. I
(10:03):
didn't say, oh, I'm a social media influencer, oh like
blah blah blah blah blah. So when we were texting,
I think it was like, what like.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Was he there away? Yay? Come in here, hubs, look out?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Cute?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Wait? Can we ask him a question too? Is he
allowed to come in on this?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Okay? So you guys then started texting when when you
witnessed the first what do you what do you call?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Episode? Is it? Or the tick? Okay, when you witnessed
the first tick for did you say like, hey, this
is going to happen or it's just like how is
your feelings around it? When it happened?
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (10:45):
So when we we were texting for probably a few
days before we met up in person, and.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
When she said that, were you like what did you think?
Speaker 6 (10:56):
So she she let me know that she does have
a condition, and I searched her up on social media
and I realized that she had a pretty big platform.
But I used the videos that she was posting on
her platform to learn about it, and so Washington, the
(11:17):
platform that she built really helped me learn a lot
in those few days before I met up with her.
So I really just tried to when we met in person,
to just really not pay any mind to the tics
and try to make her feel as most comfortable during
that first time that we met. So that was kind
of my goal.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
You got a great husband, I do. You're a good one. Well,
thanks for popping in. You're so sweet. Thanks for loving
or the way that she deserves to be loved. That
is so sweet, you said toting Balen.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
On one of the episodes, And I think this might
be when I fell in love with you the most,
but you described him as your medicine, and that just
really like I It was such a powerful statement. I
think it's more powerful than you even understand, because I
think we sometimes forget in this human connection how important
(12:14):
it is for us to find the person that feels
like that to us. And when you I think it
was right when he was about to go away or
something for like a camp or a training camp or something,
and you mentioned like I just can't, like, I don't
want to be away from him. He's my medicine, and
I thought, what a special way to phrase that, and
your your brain is just so profound to me anyways,
but just the verbiage behind that really hit home with me.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Thank you so much. He truly is like I he
pulled me out of a place that's so undescribable that
I never really want to go back to that. I
don't think I will because of him. I've needed him
for a very long time.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Does the world feel a little less lonely? Obviously, you
know when you have someone just even physically there. But
when you met him and it felt like I think
we all as women go through this a little bit, like, right,
we have these you have beautiful parents. I mean watching
your mom and dad is just really really special to me.
They just love so fully and it's so special. But
(13:15):
we as parents love because that is our person, right Like,
that's a piece of our heartbeat out of our body.
So when you get to meet someone like your husband
who loves you the way that he loves does it
feel then Does it feel like you finally got your
missing piece, like your partner in crime, like the through
thick and thin and because he chose you? Does that
(13:38):
feel different?
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I was just gonna say he has every part of
him that I don't have, so it just meshes so well.
He's again it's cheesy, but the ying to my yang
every piece of me that I don't like or I'm
insecure about, or I don't feel the best about, or
that's not my strong suit, he either has or he
(14:00):
just loves me regardless, And that's really hard to find
it really, it really is our relationship. We've felt like
we've been married for a long time because we still
chew chewed, we still chose each other every day, through arguments,
(14:21):
through laughter, through tears, through dog, vet bills, everything everything.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Because you are so I feel like you just how
you handle everything that you've gone through and obviously it
was probably tough as a kid. How do you deal
with the online bullies of people that might go into
your comments saying like, oh, she's putting this on Like yeah,
she might have like Trett's, but she's you know, putting
on more of an act. What and like, how do you?
(14:53):
How do you manage that? Because I feel like you're
so level headed and you've got such a good support
around you that to me, it doesn't seem like that
would even affect you. But you know, I also am
a very sensitive person. And even though I say, oh,
it doesn't affect me, there's still a piece of me
that it hurts when I see negative things or things
that are not true. So where do you how do
you kind of process that in your brain when you
(15:15):
see things or hear things.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
It's been a process. I'm not gonna lie. I've been
doing social media for about four or five years now,
and when I first started, I did not want it.
I didn't want to continue. Yeah, I was like, why
is everyone telling me that I'm faking this condition that
I live with every single day? Not only tell me
I am faking, like follow me around stores, videotape me
when I'm just not ticking, post it and tell me
(15:38):
that I'm faking it. Like at this point, like you're
ruining my image because I struggle with this every day.
For example, we just got back from our honeymoon in
West Palm Beach and where we were staying at there
was a guy at the bar and I go to
get a text message later under under my DMS or
in the comments. It was in the comments, and he
(15:59):
was like, oh, I was just at your hotel and
I was looking at you for a whole hour, and
you didn't tick once, and I wanted to be so
I responded because if something is going to cause me
to get worked up or get my feelings hurt, that's
when I'll respond, Like you're gonna sit there and stare
(16:20):
at me for an hour, Like you have no idea
how much sect techniques I use for my tics. You
have no idea one how mild ticks can actually be.
So it's just like there is a part of me
at first that really struggled with it, and now there's
a part of me that if something's going to bother me,
or if something you're going to put out there is wrong,
(16:40):
I'm going to fix that for you really quickly. Because
I don't need to prove to anybody that I have
the condition that I have. I don't need to prove
how bad or how good it is. I don't need
to prove to anybody.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
That I have what I have have.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I just don't. So for you to tell me, like, oh,
you're faking your turets or things like that don't really
get underneath my skin, unless, for example, you were this
guy that came up and took a photo with me
and then goes on social media and tells me, I'm
fagan Tourette syndrome, Like.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
What are we so hurtful? You know, the whole thing
is incredibly hurtful, But I love the fact that you're
putting it all out there. You've got your bailing out
loud on TLC. What is your What is your hope
for people that watch the show?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
My hope for the show is that people understand what
Tourette syndrome is and that what it looks like in me,
I have Tourette syndrome. Stupid. Tourette syndrome is very complex.
There's good days, there's bad days, but there's also a
huge spectrum of what turets can look like. And I
just wish people understood that just because people have simple
(17:53):
ticks like throat clearing, eye blinking.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
That was what I was gonna ask because I have
again son, He's got this thing where I think, now
it's a nervous habit or a nervous tick, but he
he goes like that a lot. And I do it
when I'm nervous. Whenever I get nervous, KB he's heard
me do it. I'll go like that every time I
start to get anxiety, whether I'm on a plane or
in the car. We were on their way to concert.
I'm like, I could not stop clearing my throat, and
(18:17):
I noticed it in my son whenever he's anxious, and
so is that, Like, can can you kind of help
explain to that piece?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Every one in five people experience a tick in their lifetime.
It's very very common, very common, like Tourette's and tick
disorders are way more common than what people think. There's
just not enough information or guidance to be able to
stick to get help. When I first got diagnosed, my
(18:46):
doctor looked at me and he told me, you can't
do anything. You can't drive, you can't work, you can't
go to school. You don't fit in society. Honey, you
need to stay at home. This is what my neurologist
told me.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
How old were you when that when that was being
said to you?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Sixteen?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Oh, Balen.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
I hope he's lost his medical license me too.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
And I have no idea what his name is or
else i'd say it.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I actually don't doubt that you would say it. And
I like that about it, like I've.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Thought about it so many times, because it's just like,
how do you tell me that? And then look at
me afterwards and be like, I don't even see patients
with Tourette's, so I can't diagnose you with anything. I
see patients with epilepsy, And I'm like, why didn't you
tell me this before wasting my time and telling me
that I'm basically a piece of shit.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Well, and what he's saying to you is so definite
that it's like he's not even qualified to say those
things to you to begin with, no.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
But he did. So he was like, I can't see
you as a patient anymore. So when I went to
the Mayo Clinic to get official diagnosis right before I
turned eighteen, my doctor looked at me there and she
was like, this is one hundred percent winded up. What
Turet syndrome is. I've seen thousands and hundreds of thousands
of patients. This is on tea on point to what
(20:16):
turets is, what it can look like, how it manifests,
how everything hits every criteria. And she looked at me
and she goes, good luck finding help. Oh my gosh,
you mean and she said, well to get sea bit
cognitive behavioral intervention for tics, which is therapy for Tourette
syndrome isn't covered by insurance, and there's only about ten
(20:39):
hospitals in the world, ten hospitals in America.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
That do that.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
And I was like, okay, So we tried getting me
to a college in Virginia that had sebit therapy when
I first got diagnosed, and it was a two year
waiting list to get in. I was never told about
the Tourette Association of America when I was first diagnosed
with it, which is a huge outlet for anybody that
(21:06):
has a tic disorder, Tourette syndrome. It's just truly home.
It's a community that you'll never forget if you have
Tourette syndrome or a tick disorder. And so when I
went through all of these things, there's just not enough education,
there's not enough awareness, there's not enough advocacy to help
(21:27):
people with Tourette. So what I just wish is that
people gave a little bit more grace and if something
doesn't sound normal, or maybe they shouldn't be saying that,
or maybe oh, she's done it eighteen times in the
past five minutes. Maybe I shouldn't stare at her, Maybe
I shouldn't pull out my phone in the airport and
(21:48):
take vo because the real difference is is that people
think a lot of times it's a good thing, like, oh,
it's it's Balen. I'm just I know, like I don't
know if you're recording me because of my background, because
of you know who I am, or you're recording me
to make fun of me. I never know the difference why.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I don't think anyone should be recording new period, to
be quite honest, like we would shouldn't do that to anyone.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
It happens all the time.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
And what I'm just really violating, Bailey is that it.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Just comes with it. It just you have to accept it.
It comes with it. And I'm like, it's not even
about accepting it. It's about the fact that I don't
know why you're recording me in the bathroom, in the airport,
out to dinner, Like it just says a lot about
(22:37):
if I never had a social media following at all,
would you do that?
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Yeah, you're a really special human, like to be able
to even navigate these waters. That's a really So the.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
People that are listening that are big fans that do
run into you, would you like for them to say, Hey,
can we can I take a picture of you, like
a picture with you instead of being recorded. That feels
like a simple, a valid request.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I tell everybody that comes up to me, thank you
so much for coming up to me, like it means
a lot. I love taking photos. I love meeting people.
That's the only way I find out that I'm making
an impact on people's lives. But what I just what
I just wish from the bottom of my heart is
when people approach me, don't call me my ticks. Don't
(23:21):
call me the reds girl. Like if if anything, I'm
fine with Bailey. I'm fine with Bailey. I'll take it
at this point, Okay, just not.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
To well that's hurtful. I mean, we don't want to
be labeled by the things that you know that we've
we've all you know, experienced or gone through and you know,
so that's that's, you know, not a great thing. What
are you for this season of bilin out Loud? What
are you excited for the fans to see my wedding?
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Well? Yeay, ours, but ours? Ours? But mine.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Was it everything he thought it would be.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
It's so cool because I gave everything into my planner's hands,
which people probably think I'm crazy about, Like, yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
A lot of I don't think I can do that.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
And we showed up on the wedding day and everything
blew us away. I mean the aisle, thet ceremony, cocktail our,
the colors like I gave her, like the color scheme
I wanted, and basically was like take it, like yeah,
give me, like you know what I like. I like colors,
I like fun I like funky, I like pink. Give
(24:31):
me it.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Is there something in the season where you're nervous about
people to see, probably.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
The back and forth I've had with my sister. A
lot of people don't view my sister as a good person,
and it's very sad for me because I live with
her every day and sometimes what you see on TV
you're only seeing one side of and so nobody really
gets to see her soft side, her loving side, her
kind side, her caring side. Like she's going through a lot,
(25:00):
and there is a lot that did happen this season,
and I was very vulnerable with sharing that. But I'm
I was also very scared with sharing that because she's
my sister. She's the only sister I have, and her
reputation is already not good, and so I just wish
people gave a little bit more grace for understanding that
(25:24):
you're only really seeing what.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
You see, right, No, that makes sense. Well, I'm I
am so excited to watch the season's Bilin out Loud.
I'm excited to see your beautiful wedding. You looked like
I mean, Cinderette, like just just stunning beautiful, like a
true like princess. So thank you for coming on the show.
Everyone watched Balin out Loud, and thank you for again
(25:47):
spreading you what you share on social media and helping
people not feel alone. And I think that's a beautiful,
beautiful thing and it just really speaks to your you know,
you're who you are. So thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Thank you say in Nashville.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Let's hang out, stick around girl please? Well, thank you
so much. Love, appreciate you, Hi, sister,
Host
Jana Kramer
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