July 20, 2026 • 49 mins
Comedian, actress, and now author Aida Rodriguez joins Wide Open this week to depart some of her infinite wisdom on all things motherhood, comedy, and finding the courage to truly be yourself. Aida and Ashlyn have a raw conversation on setting boundaries with family and the importance of teaching conflict resolution to their children. Plus, Aida tells Ashlyn all about her new book Legitimate Kid and how her upbringing made her who she is today.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Wide Open.
I'm your host Ashlyn Harris, and today's guest is someone
who's built a career out of telling the truth, sometimes
uncomfortable truth, sometimes hilarious truth, but always truth. Ida Rodriguez
is a comedian, writer, actor, podcaster, and author whose story
(00:21):
is so much bigger than the stage. She survived poverty, displacement, loss, motherhood,
self doubt, and every kind of label people try to
put on us. Her memoir is called Legitimate Kid, and
at its core, it's really about one question that so
many of us wrestle with. What happens when you spend
(00:42):
your life trying to prove that you belong. Today we're
talking about identity, resilience, family, motherhood, comedy, and what it
takes to finally stop asking for permission to be yourself.
This is Ida Rodriguez and this is Wide Open. Hi everyone,
(01:10):
and welcome back to another episode of Why Open. I'm
your host Ashlyn Harris, and today we have Ida Rodriguez.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Welcome to the show. How are you?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Thank you so much? I'm doing well considering, how are
you doing considering?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
You know what, It's pride and I'm choosing joy.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Period.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Oh good, Like what else are we going to do otherwise?
You know, this shit's gonna put me six feet under?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, and I'll tell you what. Let's just let's just
start it off. I have really just had it though.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I'm like out here just taking my joy back and
being like, I'm not gonna let these terrible people silence me,
put me back in that closet that had terrible lighting
that was never good for me anyways. And I'm just like,
I want to like spread joy and happiness and love
(02:03):
and kindness and keep voting in the right places, in
the right direction.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
That's all I can do that same. I agree, Yeah, no,
I agree. I think that that is our greatest act
of resistance is joy, because the darkness always comes for
the light, and they come to make you miserable because
they're miserable. Because people that are happy do not spend
their time trying to make other people miserable exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
And what I love and what I think we share
so much is joy isn't always linear, and I think.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Not.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I think I know through lived experience, like we've been
through some shit. So to be in my forties to
be on this side of like where I'm at and
what I've gone through in the journey, I have to
choose joy, Like I have to like be so grateful
to be here, to be able to space with you
(03:01):
and have these incredible conversations that actually move the needle.
And that's what I just like, That's what I love
so much about your work.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Is there so much truth in it.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I think that that's really what separates you from everyone else.
But I want people to really get to know you
and get to know your art and get to know
your journey. And you wrote a book, a memoir, Legitimate Kid.
You write so openly about your childhood, and I'm curious now,
while like looking back, what part of your story do
(03:33):
you think actually shaped you the most.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
The people who loved me in spite of everything that
was happening, that poured into me, that showed up for me,
in spite of all of the things that were happening
in our surroundings, They are eternal for me. My mother,
my grandmother, my uncle, my uncles, Like in spite of
(03:58):
everything that was happening, they never were hesitant to love
on me. And I think that that will always be
with me. And it's the reason why I have empathy
for others, and I care about other people because I
was shown that as a child.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I also can speak only through my experience and story.
I really find and I say this often to my
partner who's like, God, you've lived like such, this like
hard life, but you're so soft and you're so tender.
And I find that we probably share that common thread
(04:38):
that because life has been so hard, I think the
healing and the growth is to not hurt other people
and to not harden through the experience. I think it's
what's made us so beautifully soft. It's what drives us
to connect, and it's such a soulfulness feeling to sit
(04:58):
in a place to say that story did that part
of the story didn't define me actually at all. It
made me who I am.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Though absolutely you agree, Yeah, I completely agree. I will
tell you people's children always walk up to me. I
had a woman on a plane sitting next to me
who had to use the bathroom, and she asked me
because she hold her baby. When she came back, her
baby started crying when I gave her back to her,
and it was one of the weirdest experiences for me
(05:27):
because I was she was a new mom people's animals
always come to me, and it's and I know that
it is because I care about other living beings. And
one of my greatest frustrations in life is how other
people can walk around the planet not giving a damn
about other other life. You know, it's just it's beyond
(05:49):
me sometimes and it's not for me to understand. And
I'm learning that because that that will cause all kinds
of stress. But it's a beautiful thing to get a
damn about others, It really is.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It's and it's so important. I think we live in
such a fragmented world that we have to find joy
and connection and honesty. And I imagine that's what you
do through your art. Your story is so beautiful because
when you talk about things in your craft, there's a
(06:24):
realness to it, but also there's a joy. There's like
a poke fun at yourself, laugh a little because at
this if you can't laugh about it, can you really
heal from it?
Speaker 4 (06:36):
You know?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
And it's infectious. It heals others as well. I had
a mother of a son that it took his life
come to one of my shows and after the show
she cried with me and said, thank you. This is
the first time I've laughed. I've had people that are
terminally ill come to my shows and say, thank you
so much for making me laugh. You know, I've had
(06:59):
people who said, you know, I was racist and I've
come to my senses or I've learned and I love
you like It's been a very interesting journey. And you know,
learning that it is not my job to police other people,
but to guide them through my own light has been
one of the most freeing things for me, because the
(07:20):
more you do that to a person, the more they
they go away. And I know it from my own
experience because when my mom would do it to me,
I was like, Oh, let me go find out what
this is. Why is she trying to keep me from this? So, yeah,
it's been it's it's been learned. It's been a learning
experience my stand up. It's been a very big, great
(07:42):
education on life and people.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Oh, I bet I can imagine. But for those of
us in the audience who maybe don't know the real Ida,
or haven't read the memoir, or haven't had the chance
to see one of the specials or see you in
person on a top line lefe level, what is legit like?
What was the book about Legitimate Kid. What was your
(08:08):
childhood like? Just give us a top line of what
it was like as a child for you and you know,
being raised, what was that like?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So I always I love the movie Life Is Beautiful
because I grew up in the midst of all all
this chaos, and I had a guide constantly telling me
that I was, you know, at Disneyland, and I wasn't.
My mother got pregnant very young with me, and the
(08:38):
day I was born, my uncle quit school and started
working so he could take care of me, my queer
uncle Raymond, who was the father, the paternal figure in
my life, who was taken from me in twenty thirteen
in a hate crime. So I was raised by the
most loving and empathetic people who feed everybody around them,
(09:01):
who had nothing, and would still give a portion of
their nothing to other people because that's just who they are.
And so in the midst of you know, my mom
being very young dating a man who was on the
run for murder, that we were on the run with,
making choices that were hard that eventually, you know, had
(09:24):
terrible consequences for her and me. You know, I found
a hole that I was living with seeking legitimacy because
I was told at a very young age that because
I didn't have my father's last name, that I was illegitimate,
and that made me feel like I wasn't whole or worthy.
(09:44):
And so the book is about me searching for that
legitimacy and through work, relationships, bad men and so on
and so forth.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Wow, it's beautiful, And you know, I do find that
in your life when you're being when you're a child,
you don't really understand that this is not normal. Yeah,
when did you, like, you know what I'm saying, Like
as a kid, I was like, I thought I lived
(10:17):
the best life, and you know, I left for college
and I got out of it and I was like,
holy shit, that was not normal.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
It's time to unpack.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
We need to drop that rope and.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Go to therapy.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
But when did you first realize your experience was different
from everyone else around you?
Speaker 3 (10:36):
The first time I traveled, it was the when I
went to Tallahassee, Florida for a bridge program at Florida
State University, and I saw kids that didn't have anxiety,
that were just they were just excited about the day
and the fact that they were going to go to
the mall and go shop and have an outfit for
(10:59):
the next day. And I was like, when is the
other When is the other shoe going to drop? When
is there going to be some a fight? When is
there going to be some chaos? And and then I
had to go back, you know, because I was like,
only like a two week program in the summer. And
then I was like, oh, this is this isn't normal.
(11:20):
I slept for two weeks through the night.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yeah, And it really changes everything. It changes the way
you move, It changes the way you thought you knew
things about yourself and your identity, and I, you know,
I imagine, like how much of your adult life did
you spend trying to learn that sense of worth that
should have belonged to you from the beginning?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Anyways, Oh, if I keep if I'm going to stay
in the keep it on a stack with the spirit
of this podcast, I'm still learning it. I just did
my affirmations this morning. I read some Louise Hey and
all the stuff that people say is corny has really
helped me. And you know, and regulating myself writing down
(12:06):
my you know, my gratitude, Like I'm twenty one days
in in the new gratitude journal, and I have to
count the days and I have to stay on it,
to stay in practice because I was I was told
very young that I was cursed and that the women
and my family were cursed, and that I was never
destined for happiness. And I accepted that as a belief.
(12:29):
And even though many times I work through it and
I don't, you know, I reject that, some parts of
me have accepted that as a belief and my body
and I have to. I have to work through that
and getting that trauma out of my body, and that
is a daily practice, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
And what I respect so much about you is so
many of us try to outrun our past, or you
find it chasing you and you're just running to exhaustion.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yes, but I think you've done the opposite a little bit.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
You've turned around and you've faced it and you've created art.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Out of it.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
And I think that's a really, really special thing. But
you occupy so many different identities, your beautiful Afro Latina woman, mother, comedian.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Activist, podcast.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I mean, it's how do you have that much time
in the day, But which identity took.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
The longest for you to embrace? You know, beautiful and
not in the superficial form, because I, you know, being
told that I was never going to be as pretty
as my mom when I was little was something bad.
I thought was a weird thing to say to a
(13:56):
child when I was a child, like why are you
telling me this? And why are you looking at me
like that? But I realized that I was amongst some
weirdos and predators as well, and so I think the
most important identity for me has been my own identity
because I have had so much codependence in my life
(14:18):
that I've always been my mother's daughter, my grandmother's granddaughter,
my uncle's niece, but I've never my children's mother, my
ex husband's wife. Just fighting through that, just becoming my
own woman and being able to say I am enough,
just being me and not a being of service all
(14:40):
the time has been the greatest identity for me. To
just feel like I am worthy of good stuff and
life just because I am, and not that I have
to serve others in order to be worthy has been
the greatest identity that I've been that I've had to
fight for is that, you know, because people try to
(15:03):
justify your existence with your service, and we shouldn't have
to do that, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after
this brief message from our sponsors. At what point did
you stop trying to make yourself more digestible for other people?
Because I find in your story at what I connected
so much is you learn to shape shift, like you
(15:31):
learn to fall in line, you learn to fit in you,
you know, and you put your body through hell to
do so. I want to be skinny, and that means
I can't eat, and that means that now I'm falling
into this and now I'm unhealthy. But like, I need
to look like other people, look like the models look
(15:51):
on the magazines, and it's steals something from you. And
I love that you say that, But when did you
stop trying to make yourself more digestible for others?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
You know, I would say that that has happened, Like,
in the last ten years of my life, being digestible
has never really worked for me, and I'm sure it's
never really worked for anybody else, because anytime you are
operating outside of who you really are, you are betraying
yourself and that can't be good for your body. But
(16:27):
I just remember having this epiphany of when people say,
what do you have to lose? Really thinking about what
do you have to lose? Like we chase an industry
that don't isn't designed for us, right, It's not designed
to let us in. It is designed for people to
break through. So you don't have anything and you don't
(16:50):
want to speak up against injustices because you're afraid you're
going to lose out. But what are you losing? You
have nothing to lose, the reality of it is is
this imaginary pot of gold that you think you have
outside of you is really inside of you. And in
these moments when I can have a conversation with you,
which I think is far more valuable than sitting on
(17:12):
a talk show on a television show and having a
fake conversation where you have all these guidelines of what
you can say and can't say, it's not you just
learned that it's all fake and none of this stuff
is real. And what is real is who's going to
be there when you're in that bed sick, who's going
to show up at your birthday party because there are
(17:34):
going to be any cameras around, Who's gonna talk to
you when the people online have turned on you like
that to me is most valuable. And for me understanding
that is when I said, you know, I actually ate
a boiled egg, a chicken breast, and a scoop of
tuna every day for almost a year to be so
(17:56):
skinny and almost you know, and was anemic to a
point where I stop my mental my my mist flow.
And if I keep that to myself, how selfish am I?
When there are young women who are now doing that
times a million because the Internet is telling them you
got to look this way, you gotta be this way.
(18:17):
That's just a selfishness that I'm not willing to participate in.
And so for me, I was like, be you, because
you're gonna show up anyway exactly. And it's been my
greatest asset every single time that I have received anything
from being in a movie where Robert de Niro to
(18:38):
being picked as the person that can be that can
go into the Senior citizen home and and sit with
the elders, those are all that they all mean the
same to me, but they've always been because Oh, I
love that you feel so real to me and I
feel like you're such an authentic person. Never has it
(18:58):
been because I, oh, you're size six, your hair is
really long, you got great cheek bones, none of that.
It's always been because of who what I give, and
what I give is this, it's it's real, and it's
for some people is too much and those are not
my people. And being able to learn that those are
not my people has been the greatest gift.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
I love that and I feel that at our core,
because I do think too many women shrink ourselves to
fit in to you know, it's like we dim our
light for everyone else to fall in line, and I'm.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
Like, stop fucking doing that. Stop It's so it's so annoying.
And the more we can have these conversations because people
don't realize what it costs you to shrink yourself.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
And you and I both have done.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
It, yep.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
But the reward of finally taking up is the moment
you're set free absolutely and and and you free everyone
else around you and like it.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
It's such a beautiful way to live life, because yeah,
you know, you have these movie stars and they play
all these characters and every day you can shape shift
like a motherfucker and you can show up and be
someone you're not, but like.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No one plays you better than you.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Get comfortable in your skin.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
And I guess what I've admired about you as a
comedian is your willingness to say what everyone else is thinking,
at least that what they want to admit, but they're.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Like, probably can't talk about that. Yeah, but it's it's
it's that's.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
The beauty of comedy.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And I what led.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
You into this career path? What what made you shine
so much light on your story and your struggle and
put it into your your ormance.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
You know, I'm I'm having a moment right here with
you as you say what you just said, because a
lot of people have asked me what led me to comedy,
and I've always said the external stuff, you know, Chris
Spencer said, you're funny, I did this thing. But the
truth is that what led me to my to do
(21:22):
stand up as I have this epiphany right here in
this moment, is that I needed a place to speak
without rebuttal. I needed a place to use my voice
and be able to speak without somebody saying but and
if then I needed it of be able to express
(21:42):
my voice. It's like those movies when you see somebody
who really wants to sing and they finally get the
microphone and you hear their soul when they sing. That's
what stand up has provided me. It's an opportunity to
just say the things that I want to say, how
I see the world, my point of view, not dictating
what everybody else should be thinking, but saying this is
(22:05):
how I feel. Has been this just real, this vomiting
of my soul and finally being able to speak for
all those years that are was silenced and not being
able to say what I really thought, and then just
to be able to do it with humor has always
been the greatest blessing.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Do you think that that humor can also heal our
past and our trauma and our scars.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Yeah, I definitely do. And I think we've been we've
been betrayed into believing that trauma always has to be dark.
But trauma is trauma, It is what is. It is
a part of all of us. And every single person
has trauma, whether you they're the richest person or the
poorest person, the happiest person or the saddest person. We
(22:56):
all experience trauma. It is part of our journey in life.
And we have the power to approach our trauma whichever
way we want. And the fact that we are told
grieving should look one way. You should. If you don't
look sad enough for the public, then you're not really grieving.
That's a lie. Because I had to be on last
comic standing six months after my grandmother died of cancer
(23:19):
and my uncle was beaten to death and kicked in
his head until his brain bled to death because he
was a gay man. And I had to get on
a national stage and tell jokes for five million people,
and nobody knew that on the inside, I was still
hurting and grieving and had to remind myself that the
dream was for me to have a better life, and
(23:40):
I had to push through because I had these two children,
these two beautiful souls that get to accompany me in life,
who deserve a better life, and this was my route
to get it. And as a result of that, it
was a very valuable lesson for me. So of course
I believe humor because it helped heal me in that moment.
It was part of my healing, which I'm still healing
(24:03):
from that, but it also healed a lot of people
that reached out to me and said, man, thank you
for showing up. And that is part of the healing
because the healing is collective, it's not just singular. You know,
we are all connected, whether we want to admit it
or not.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
And I think healing in community is the safest space
to be. You know, it's so important, and you know,
even if you're in a room full of people you
don't know, with you know, a comedian that you follow
that you may not know personally. I do think like
what maybe feels painful can become funny and it can
(24:43):
become therapeutic, and it doesn't. You're right, it doesn't have
to be this one size fits all for everyone.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
But I am.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Curious for you.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Did at the beginning, did comedy feel more like your
armor of protecting something or you I knew right away
like I'm gonna I'm just gonna open this up and
let it out and however it lands, it lands. Or
was there really not a lot of thought that went
into it?
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
No, A lot of thought went into it, but it
was it was a combination of the two. Because if
I would tell you that I had arrived when I
started stand up and I was I had it all
figured out, I'd be lying to you. But I was
very angry when I started doing stand up and that
was a good way for me to express some of
that anger through jokes. And even though the audience was laughing,
(25:34):
I was purging because I was I was very, very
angry about, you know, being in an abusive relationship prior
to doing stand up and not not identifying it as abuse,
because I was in a relationship with someone who convinced
me to believe that I was an active participant in
my own abuse and at sometimes the cause of it.
(25:56):
I was also, you know, just navigating being a single
mother and not having any help and really feeling alone
in the world. And I was really really angry, and
so I started doing stand up and some of that
anger started to come out by way of jokes, and
while the audience was laughing, I was working it out,
(26:16):
and I will I can look back and see some
of my videos and say, damn, you were really mad.
And even though the audience are, the people were like,
oh girl, you so funny, and I'm like, you have
no idea. It was just an exorcism, if you will,
of some of the stuff that I was storing inside
(26:38):
of my body, that I had been carrying since I
was a little girl, and just giving permission to others
to dump on me because I didn't feel I was
good enough to receive all the great shit in the world,
because I was told that it wasn't for me. Comedy
just started to become the place where I could be
(26:59):
just start owning my own life and steering myself into
the direction of the good stuff that I know I deserve,
but I didn't believe until then that microphone gave me
a lot of power.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Ooh, I love it, and it is very true because
I feel that now I'm just reflecting and sitting in
this moment with you. I was a really you know,
I grew up playing talker and that was my craft
and that was my art and that was my performing.
But fuck was I angry and it was my escape.
(27:32):
And I loved the feeling of exhaustion and suffering because
it made me feel yep, like you said I was.
I could purge the pain and I could walk away
and realize, like, wow, I feel better.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
I feel lighter.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Now. I don't have to shit dump on every single
person in my life because I'm holding that anger and
it's it's such a telling moment when you say that,
because everyone can find that outlet and you've got to
like date around and figure out good ways of releasing
that type of trauma. But you built a career around
(28:15):
saying what you mean. And I don't know if that
honesty is always welcome, especially for a woman.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
No, it isn't. I mean, I've gotten people doxing me.
I've had people, you know, just say horrible things to me.
Not in the last month, you know, people saying terrible
things to me. And it's you know, it's interesting. A
lot of men that don't like me. It's so funny
that used to sexualize me when I was younger, and
(28:43):
now they hate me because now they have to hear
my voice. It's interesting to me, you know, to see
that vitual and that hate because I'm a reflection of
something you don't want to face. And the fact that
you have the option not to face me is what
makes it so interesting that somebody will seek you out
(29:06):
who doesn't follow you, doesn't have to watch your Netflix
or your HBO or your podcast, right, they don't have to,
but they do. They're peeking around the corner because there's
something about you that is unsettling, something in them, because
there's a reflection there and instead there's something you're not
ready to face, so you have to hate on me.
(29:29):
And it's been so interesting to see because I will
peek into a profile sometimes to see who's sending oh hell,
yes you know, and I'm like, oh, not worthy of
a response. Oh this person here, here's the number nine
eight eight. Because you have a bad you're going through
something really bad. It has nothing to do with me,
(29:52):
you know, learning that, but just I get a lot
of I get a lot of pushback sometimes, and I
know sometimes it's just because I'm a woman, and I'm like, oh,
you you hate women because you to have a prom date.
It has nothing to do exactly. Stay tuned.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
I'll be back in just a moment after this brief
message from our sponsors. And your podcast is called Say
What You Mean, And I love the platform of you
being able to talk about these things. And I'm curious
of what's something you wish you said sooner in your life?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Oh thank you for asking me. No. No is what
is always when you look at your life and you
go back and you do a montage of scenes. I
wish no no. There are so many things that I
wish I would have said no to to people who
were manipulative, opportunistic, and some that weren't any in anything
(30:53):
that had that. Some didn't have any malicious or malice intent.
But I just wish I would have said no. I
wish I would have rested. I wish I would not
have gone on the trip. I wish I would not
have gone to the party. I wish I would have
knock gone to the mall. I wish I would not
have gone to lunch, to sit there and let somebody
dump on me. I wish I would not have gone
on that date out and that idea. I remember I
(31:17):
was told younger that don't regrets. That's disrespectful to God.
Regret is a waste of time. I regret a lot
of shit, and I'm okay to live and regret because
regret is a lesson. And to tell people, hey, you
shouldn't regret things, it's policing somebody else in how they
process their pain and their stuff. There's some motherfuckers I
wish I never went on a date with, and I
(31:39):
wish I never looked at again. There are some people
I wish I never was friends with because it was
a grand waste of my time. Now what I have
been able to do is learn the lesson, say thank
you for the lesson. The work here is done. I
release you back into the universe, and I hope you
have a great life. But I wish I would have
never met you. Is not going to go anywhere away
(32:00):
because it's me being one hundred percent real. And don't
betray yourself by saying what you think everybody should hear?
What the right things to say, what's the what's the
what's the metaphysical correct thing? What the quantum brain? All
that is bullshit. Some things you regret and regret as
a lesson, and I wish I would have said no
to a lot of things.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Yeah, I love that because you know, I'm I'm raising
a five year old daughter, and I'll tell you what,
I'll be damned if if my kid is not going
to understand the lesson of nose are sometimes just as
big and better as yes is and boundaries. I was
(32:42):
never taught boundaries as a kid. I was never taught
to trust my gut. I was never taught because I wanted,
like we talked about at the top of the show, I.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Wanted to be liked.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
I wanted to be digestible.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
I wanted to fit in.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
My no, I'd like, we are going to raise young
women and young men a lot different, a lot different
than we were because we didn't understand the implications that
came with that.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Absolutely, and it put us in harm, and it put
us in situations we shouldn't fucking have ever been in.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Absolutely. I remember no, And I was gonna say, I
remember being on a dance floor with this guy and
my brother was on the dance floor next to me.
And this guy is a professional football player and I
had just met him loosely. We talked a few times.
He met me at a club. We were dancing, and
another guy came to try to dance with me. When
(33:44):
he went to the bathroom, and this guy came from
me to choke me on the dance floor. When he
came out of the bathroom and saw the other guy
in front of me, he was gonna he was coming
from my neck and my luckily my brother was there,
and my brother jumped in the way you mean to
tell me, I can't say I wish I never met
that guy, or I wish I never said thank you
(34:06):
to that guy. And instead of going as ballistic as
I was entitled to, I tried to keep the peace.
I was like, let's not make a scene. I understand
you're really angry right now. You misunderstood the situation. That's
not the reaction to that. The reaction to that is
get out my face. I never want to see you again.
We have nothing to talk about from that point, not
(34:27):
negotiating with him. I'm not his therapist, I'm not his mother,
I barely know him. I'm not his woman. But that
man is an abuser. And the fact that I even
negotiated with him in that moment because I felt he
was worthy of some empathy or what must have led
him to that. I don't owe him that. You know.
One of the greatest things a friend of mine told
(34:49):
me is I want you to say this with me.
I refuse to carry what's not mine. And that was
groundbreaking for me because I've done that so much with
people who aren't worth of it. But yeah, I was like,
I really, I was taught to be amenable, to be
you know, digestible, to be you know, the peace, especially
(35:12):
around men, don't be the cause of trouble for men.
And I'm like, how does this get to be on me? Yeah?
What truth?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Are you still working on telling at this point in
your life.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
I'm working on that I belong in all the spaces
and that I don't have to I don't have to
be a shape shifter to belong. I belong just as
I am. And you know, being in the entertainment business,
you are being told all the time to be something else,
and for me, that's never worked. So I belong is
(35:49):
the the lifelong journey for me is that being able
to accept that as a truth. And I'm working on it.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
I love that. Do you think people with this current
landscape and social media and all the things that are
going on in our world, do you think people are
becoming more honest or more afraid to be honest?
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Well? I think it's uh, I think both. You know.
I think some people who I think, what's with these entertainers?
And I say that lightly because I don't take for
granted that I have I'm on HBO, I'm on Netflix,
I have opportunities, and I've done things on a greater landscape.
(36:34):
And so some people will say, why do you other yourself?
Like I say, I don't. I feel like I don't belong.
I'll be at a Hollywood party with all these celebrities
and actors, and I always feel out of place. I
feel very awkward. You look at my red carpet pictures.
I always look all stiff because I always feel like
I don't feel long. But it's it's a I don't know,
(36:55):
it's a curse and a gift. But I do think
that what's happening right now is that as these voices
of authenticity are rising and resonating with other people coming
out of the out of the woodwork, and people are like,
who is this podcaster, who's this influencer, the voice of
the everyday person saying I see you, I'm here, I
have a microphone, listen to me. Those people are speaking
(37:19):
truth the power. They're speaking out. And the people who
have a lot, a lot, a lot and don't want
to share it and don't want to let it go
or don't want to don't they want to stay in
that whatever, they're becoming less and less vocal. But they're
also becoming more and more invisible, and people are not,
(37:40):
you know, worshiping them as much. And there's going to
always be a section of people who worship celebrities in
a way that's unhealthy. But that has to do with
mental illness more than it has to do with the
state of the world. But people look at Albania, look
at what's happening around the world. People are like, we're
not participating in this because people have real stuff happening
(38:02):
in their lives and that doesn't go away whether the
phone is on, whether your favorite show is on, or
your favorite movie is on. And even though we get
distracted with that, I think that the real people are
rising to the top now, and they're rising in a
way that's not conventional, and I think it's great. It's
wonderful to watch because it gives voices that need to
(38:25):
be heard on microphone and I'm here for that. I
love that.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
It's interesting when you say that, when you talk about,
you know, being on the red carpet and being stiff
and being on HBO and being on Netflix. I think
one of the biggest themes I'm clocking and connecting is
that both of us have learned sometimes the hard way
that success doesn't always equal peace, Like it doesn't like people,
(38:51):
you know, when we're kids, we're like, we want to
be rich and famous and this, and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
At what cost?
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Yeah, Like what people have no idea? What it's like,
and it doesn't always. Success does not always equal peace
and money and getting that bag and living this perfect
life like it.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
It takes from you.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
It takes a lot from you that people may not understand.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
I've watched people rise into stardom in my career, and
you know, in my vicinity, I don't envy any of them.
I'm happy for all of them. I want them all
to continue to win and be rich and get the
validation that they need and fill those holes and whatever
it is that makes their soul sets their soul on fire.
I've seen careers of people that I have everything, and
(39:43):
a lot of people wish, and I don't. I don't
wish because what I do, what I've learned is what
rich is for me is not the same as for
somebody else. And I have two amazing human beings that
call me Mom, and that for me is that's that's
greater than any you know, I've been really shitted on
and mistreated by a lot of the people in this
(40:04):
industry who have power. A lot of people have said
horrible things about me. They've been sexist, they've been racist,
they've been you know, misogynists, they've been ageist, all of
the things, and still I have always found my way.
For me, what has been settling is seeing people like
Quinta Brunson or Michael cha or you know, Isa Ray,
(40:28):
like people who've created Donald Glover, like people who've created
these worlds where they get to do the things that
they want to do. They create opportunities for others, but others,
but they look happy within themselves, like they look like
I don't need all of that because all of that
comes with it comes with a price that I'm not
(40:48):
willing to pay because my soul is not for sale.
And that, for me, is what keeps me going is
seeing an example of people who their definition of success
looks very different than what the machine tries to push
and it is. It keeps me sane and it keeps
me regulated, knowing that I have what I want and
(41:12):
what I'm trying to do in this business is very different.
But I will never let other people tell me what
success is. There are a lot of people in this
country and in the world who have it, and if
they only knew, you know that they get to sit
at home at dinner every day with their family and
these people that they worship wish they had they could
(41:32):
sit at a table with five people around them who
actually mean them well, that would still be sitting there
the paychecks went away, if all the good, if all
the superficial and material stuff disappeared, are those people going
to still be sitting at that table? And a lot
of people who can say yes don't even know how
(41:53):
valuable that is because you're constantly being told that not
having the bags under your eyes is where that you
know hm and so learning.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
That it is it really is. It's so true and
so beautiful because you know, success means something so different
to a lot of people. But like you and I
I think when you start to become a mom and
you hold that title and it's so sacred, it's so beautiful.
(42:23):
It has absolutely changed everything about me, the way I move,
my wants, my needs, my happiness, what feels important, how
I feel most at home and free. But I think
there's something that probably connects you and I a little bit.
I think we're both determined to break generational trauma and
(42:47):
I want I want my children to have something different.
I think that's why we work our ass off, That's
why we're so involved in parenting.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
What what are?
Speaker 1 (42:59):
What cycles are you determined to break with your children
from your past.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I've broken so many My daughter was not a teenage
pregnant mom, so I didn't I didn't become a grandma
in my thirties. My mom was a grandmother in her thirties.
My grandmother was a grandmother in her thirties. You know,
my my children have finished their post secondary education, They're
(43:24):
working in fields that they want to work in. They
both are creatives with no frown nobody frowning upon them saying, Oh,
I wish you were a doctor. I wish you were
a lawyer. You know, the idea of what American uh,
that America values like. I was like, oh, okay, if
you want to be a writer, be the best writer
(43:45):
that you can be, Be the best director that you
can be. Uh. We've breaken. We've broken those curses. But
most most important, importantly, I think being able to communicate
and heal. Uh. One of the biggest things that I
learned about myself is that I don't want to be
in relationship with people who don't honor conflict resolution, because
(44:07):
it was my mom would not speak to me for
three days, or harbor or harbor resentment, or hold things
against me for years, you know, and me also doing
it to her. I don't want to be in relationships
with people that I can't say, hey, I didn't like
when you did that and you know, and they can't say, oh, well,
(44:28):
I'm sorry, you know, let's talk about it or it
won't happen again, and vice versa. That's important to me,
and I've lost a lot of friends, especially recently, because
how is it that I can tell you did something
that made me feel bad and that you hurt my
feelings and you make it about you and now you
don't want to talk to me anymore. I can't be
(44:48):
I appreciate your departure because for me that is a gift,
but it helped me understand that you don't respect me
enough to want to stay here with me and work
this out when you is something to me, But I'm
willing to stay here and work it out if I'm
the one on the other side. That's important to me,
and I think that with my kids that has been
(45:09):
one of the greatest gifts is that we are able
to have conversations. Even if they get uncomfortable and they
get ugly, we still know how to resolve conflict with
each other and that that has been very important to me.
That's a that's a I have family members that haven't
spoken in years because they're living in the eighties.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Yeah, exactly. And in our house we call it rupture
and repair. Oh and I would love I learned that
and therapy, and I would love to pass that on
to you because I talk about it. I'm the same
in my partnership and I you know, and for my children.
It's always how you know rupture is going to happen,
(45:51):
But how does everyone leave.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
The rupture feeling repaired?
Speaker 1 (45:55):
That is important too, and it has not one person
can leave feeling like it hasn't been repaired. Because you're right,
the resentment you carry and it spreads into every aspect
of your life, and it's it's important to seek that
repair so we can move forward and we can be
better because of it. I guess Unfortunately I have my
(46:18):
last question for you. Okay, time is flying.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
For the younger version of you, the girl who you
know had always questioned whether she belonged. Could you see
like to like if you could see if she could
see you today, in this moment of becoming healing, exactly
who you are. What do you think she would say to.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
You, Wow, we did it in spite of everything that
they told us we couldn't do and couldn't be. We
are still standing and we're doing it. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
And you know, the most beautiful lesson I think this
whole conversation is no matter what happens in life, because
it's full of twist and turns, you have to choose yourself,
and you have to choose and over and over and
over again. You have to wake up and choose yourself.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
Absolutely you do. And I will say Helen Keller's quote
is a quote that I learned at a very young agent.
It always stayed with me. One cannot consent to creep
when one feels an impulse to sore. And when I
gave myself permission to soar is when I started living
(47:41):
my own life. And that was the greatest gift I
ever gave myself, was the opportunity to just be wide
open and out loud. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Ida. You are such a gift and I just can't
thank you enough. I can't thank you enough for your
honesty and your openness, and you're the way you show
up in the world to speak your truth. I'm really grateful,
So thank you so much for being Wide Open, and
thank you for being on the show this week. I
know our listeners are going to take so much out
(48:13):
of out of your story, so thank you for sharing.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
Thank you for having me, and you are a gift.
And I think that right now, in this moment where
there are all these wars against you know, queer people
all over the world, the have beautiful people speaking up
and speaking out and showing up so beautifully is important.
One of the greatest wishes of my heart is that
my uncle could have seen this, because he didn't get
(48:38):
to live long enough to be able to see how
beautiful queer people are showing up. So thank you for
having me on your show. It's beautiful. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Thank you, Ida, I appreciate it. And thanks everyone for
tuning in to another episode of Wide Open. We'll see
you next week.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Oh what a great conversation.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
But what I love the most about it was Aida
reminds us that our stories don't have to.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Be neat and meaningful.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
The things that make us feel different, the things that
we're told to hide, the things we're convinced to make
up less than those are often the exact things that
make us powerful. Ada, Thank you for your honesty, your humor,
and your willingness to tell the truth even when it's uncomfortable.
Thank you all for listening, and if this conversation resonated
(49:26):
with you, share it with someone who needs it. And
until next time, as always, stay curious, stay open, and
keep showing up for yourself. This is wide open and
I'm Ashlan Harris. We'll see you next week.
Hi everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Wide Open.
I'm your host Ashlyn Harris, and today's guest is someone
who's built a career out of telling the truth, sometimes
uncomfortable truth, sometimes hilarious truth, but always truth. Ida Rodriguez
is a comedian, writer, actor, podcaster, and author whose story
(00:21):
is so much bigger than the stage. She survived poverty, displacement, loss, motherhood,
self doubt, and every kind of label people try to
put on us. Her memoir is called Legitimate Kid, and
at its core, it's really about one question that so
many of us wrestle with. What happens when you spend
(00:42):
your life trying to prove that you belong. Today we're
talking about identity, resilience, family, motherhood, comedy, and what it
takes to finally stop asking for permission to be yourself.
This is Ida Rodriguez and this is Wide Open. Hi everyone,
(01:10):
and welcome back to another episode of Why Open. I'm
your host Ashlyn Harris, and today we have Ida Rodriguez.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Welcome to the show. How are you?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Thank you so much? I'm doing well considering, how are
you doing considering?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
You know what, It's pride and I'm choosing joy.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Period.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Oh good, Like what else are we going to do otherwise?
You know, this shit's gonna put me six feet under?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, and I'll tell you what. Let's just let's just
start it off. I have really just had it though.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I'm like out here just taking my joy back and
being like, I'm not gonna let these terrible people silence me,
put me back in that closet that had terrible lighting
that was never good for me anyways. And I'm just like,
I want to like spread joy and happiness and love
(02:03):
and kindness and keep voting in the right places, in
the right direction.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
That's all I can do that same. I agree, Yeah, no,
I agree. I think that that is our greatest act
of resistance is joy, because the darkness always comes for
the light, and they come to make you miserable because
they're miserable. Because people that are happy do not spend
their time trying to make other people miserable exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
And what I love and what I think we share
so much is joy isn't always linear, and I think.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Not.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I think I know through lived experience, like we've been
through some shit. So to be in my forties to
be on this side of like where I'm at and
what I've gone through in the journey, I have to
choose joy, Like I have to like be so grateful
to be here, to be able to space with you
(03:01):
and have these incredible conversations that actually move the needle.
And that's what I just like, That's what I love
so much about your work.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Is there so much truth in it.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I think that that's really what separates you from everyone else.
But I want people to really get to know you
and get to know your art and get to know
your journey. And you wrote a book, a memoir, Legitimate Kid.
You write so openly about your childhood, and I'm curious now,
while like looking back, what part of your story do
(03:33):
you think actually shaped you the most.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
The people who loved me in spite of everything that
was happening, that poured into me, that showed up for me,
in spite of all of the things that were happening
in our surroundings, They are eternal for me. My mother,
my grandmother, my uncle, my uncles, Like in spite of
(03:58):
everything that was happening, they never were hesitant to love
on me. And I think that that will always be
with me. And it's the reason why I have empathy
for others, and I care about other people because I
was shown that as a child.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I also can speak only through my experience and story.
I really find and I say this often to my
partner who's like, God, you've lived like such, this like
hard life, but you're so soft and you're so tender.
And I find that we probably share that common thread
(04:38):
that because life has been so hard, I think the
healing and the growth is to not hurt other people
and to not harden through the experience. I think it's
what's made us so beautifully soft. It's what drives us
to connect, and it's such a soulfulness feeling to sit
(04:58):
in a place to say that story did that part
of the story didn't define me actually at all. It
made me who I am.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Though absolutely you agree, Yeah, I completely agree. I will
tell you people's children always walk up to me. I
had a woman on a plane sitting next to me
who had to use the bathroom, and she asked me
because she hold her baby. When she came back, her
baby started crying when I gave her back to her,
and it was one of the weirdest experiences for me
(05:27):
because I was she was a new mom people's animals
always come to me, and it's and I know that
it is because I care about other living beings. And
one of my greatest frustrations in life is how other
people can walk around the planet not giving a damn
about other other life. You know, it's just it's beyond
(05:49):
me sometimes and it's not for me to understand. And
I'm learning that because that that will cause all kinds
of stress. But it's a beautiful thing to get a
damn about others, It really is.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It's and it's so important. I think we live in
such a fragmented world that we have to find joy
and connection and honesty. And I imagine that's what you
do through your art. Your story is so beautiful because
when you talk about things in your craft, there's a
(06:24):
realness to it, but also there's a joy. There's like
a poke fun at yourself, laugh a little because at
this if you can't laugh about it, can you really
heal from it?
Speaker 4 (06:36):
You know?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
And it's infectious. It heals others as well. I had
a mother of a son that it took his life
come to one of my shows and after the show
she cried with me and said, thank you. This is
the first time I've laughed. I've had people that are
terminally ill come to my shows and say, thank you
so much for making me laugh. You know, I've had
(06:59):
people who said, you know, I was racist and I've
come to my senses or I've learned and I love
you like It's been a very interesting journey. And you know,
learning that it is not my job to police other people,
but to guide them through my own light has been
one of the most freeing things for me, because the
(07:20):
more you do that to a person, the more they
they go away. And I know it from my own
experience because when my mom would do it to me,
I was like, Oh, let me go find out what
this is. Why is she trying to keep me from this? So, yeah,
it's been it's it's been learned. It's been a learning
experience my stand up. It's been a very big, great
(07:42):
education on life and people.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Oh, I bet I can imagine. But for those of
us in the audience who maybe don't know the real Ida,
or haven't read the memoir, or haven't had the chance
to see one of the specials or see you in
person on a top line lefe level, what is legit like?
What was the book about Legitimate Kid. What was your
(08:08):
childhood like? Just give us a top line of what
it was like as a child for you and you know,
being raised, what was that like?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So I always I love the movie Life Is Beautiful
because I grew up in the midst of all all
this chaos, and I had a guide constantly telling me
that I was, you know, at Disneyland, and I wasn't.
My mother got pregnant very young with me, and the
(08:38):
day I was born, my uncle quit school and started
working so he could take care of me, my queer
uncle Raymond, who was the father, the paternal figure in
my life, who was taken from me in twenty thirteen
in a hate crime. So I was raised by the
most loving and empathetic people who feed everybody around them,
(09:01):
who had nothing, and would still give a portion of
their nothing to other people because that's just who they are.
And so in the midst of you know, my mom
being very young dating a man who was on the
run for murder, that we were on the run with,
making choices that were hard that eventually, you know, had
(09:24):
terrible consequences for her and me. You know, I found
a hole that I was living with seeking legitimacy because
I was told at a very young age that because
I didn't have my father's last name, that I was illegitimate,
and that made me feel like I wasn't whole or worthy.
(09:44):
And so the book is about me searching for that
legitimacy and through work, relationships, bad men and so on
and so forth.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Wow, it's beautiful, And you know, I do find that
in your life when you're being when you're a child,
you don't really understand that this is not normal. Yeah,
when did you, like, you know what I'm saying, Like
as a kid, I was like, I thought I lived
(10:17):
the best life, and you know, I left for college
and I got out of it and I was like,
holy shit, that was not normal.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
It's time to unpack.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
We need to drop that rope and.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Go to therapy.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
But when did you first realize your experience was different
from everyone else around you?
Speaker 3 (10:36):
The first time I traveled, it was the when I
went to Tallahassee, Florida for a bridge program at Florida
State University, and I saw kids that didn't have anxiety,
that were just they were just excited about the day
and the fact that they were going to go to
the mall and go shop and have an outfit for
(10:59):
the next day. And I was like, when is the
other When is the other shoe going to drop? When
is there going to be some a fight? When is
there going to be some chaos? And and then I
had to go back, you know, because I was like,
only like a two week program in the summer. And
then I was like, oh, this is this isn't normal.
(11:20):
I slept for two weeks through the night.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yeah, And it really changes everything. It changes the way
you move, It changes the way you thought you knew
things about yourself and your identity, and I, you know,
I imagine, like how much of your adult life did
you spend trying to learn that sense of worth that
should have belonged to you from the beginning?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Anyways, Oh, if I keep if I'm going to stay
in the keep it on a stack with the spirit
of this podcast, I'm still learning it. I just did
my affirmations this morning. I read some Louise Hey and
all the stuff that people say is corny has really
helped me. And you know, and regulating myself writing down
(12:06):
my you know, my gratitude, Like I'm twenty one days
in in the new gratitude journal, and I have to
count the days and I have to stay on it,
to stay in practice because I was I was told
very young that I was cursed and that the women
and my family were cursed, and that I was never
destined for happiness. And I accepted that as a belief.
(12:29):
And even though many times I work through it and
I don't, you know, I reject that, some parts of
me have accepted that as a belief and my body
and I have to. I have to work through that
and getting that trauma out of my body, and that
is a daily practice, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
And what I respect so much about you is so
many of us try to outrun our past, or you
find it chasing you and you're just running to exhaustion.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yes, but I think you've done the opposite a little bit.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
You've turned around and you've faced it and you've created art.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Out of it.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
And I think that's a really, really special thing. But
you occupy so many different identities, your beautiful Afro Latina woman, mother, comedian.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Activist, podcast.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I mean, it's how do you have that much time
in the day, But which identity took.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
The longest for you to embrace? You know, beautiful and
not in the superficial form, because I, you know, being
told that I was never going to be as pretty
as my mom when I was little was something bad.
I thought was a weird thing to say to a
(13:56):
child when I was a child, like why are you
telling me this? And why are you looking at me
like that? But I realized that I was amongst some
weirdos and predators as well, and so I think the
most important identity for me has been my own identity
because I have had so much codependence in my life
(14:18):
that I've always been my mother's daughter, my grandmother's granddaughter,
my uncle's niece, but I've never my children's mother, my
ex husband's wife. Just fighting through that, just becoming my
own woman and being able to say I am enough,
just being me and not a being of service all
(14:40):
the time has been the greatest identity for me. To
just feel like I am worthy of good stuff and
life just because I am, and not that I have
to serve others in order to be worthy has been
the greatest identity that I've been that I've had to
fight for is that, you know, because people try to
(15:03):
justify your existence with your service, and we shouldn't have
to do that, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after
this brief message from our sponsors. At what point did
you stop trying to make yourself more digestible for other people?
Because I find in your story at what I connected
so much is you learn to shape shift, like you
(15:31):
learn to fall in line, you learn to fit in you,
you know, and you put your body through hell to
do so. I want to be skinny, and that means
I can't eat, and that means that now I'm falling
into this and now I'm unhealthy. But like, I need
to look like other people, look like the models look
(15:51):
on the magazines, and it's steals something from you. And
I love that you say that, But when did you
stop trying to make yourself more digestible for others?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
You know, I would say that that has happened, Like,
in the last ten years of my life, being digestible
has never really worked for me, and I'm sure it's
never really worked for anybody else, because anytime you are
operating outside of who you really are, you are betraying
yourself and that can't be good for your body. But
(16:27):
I just remember having this epiphany of when people say,
what do you have to lose? Really thinking about what
do you have to lose? Like we chase an industry
that don't isn't designed for us, right, It's not designed
to let us in. It is designed for people to
break through. So you don't have anything and you don't
(16:50):
want to speak up against injustices because you're afraid you're
going to lose out. But what are you losing? You
have nothing to lose, the reality of it is is
this imaginary pot of gold that you think you have
outside of you is really inside of you. And in
these moments when I can have a conversation with you,
which I think is far more valuable than sitting on
(17:12):
a talk show on a television show and having a
fake conversation where you have all these guidelines of what
you can say and can't say, it's not you just
learned that it's all fake and none of this stuff
is real. And what is real is who's going to
be there when you're in that bed sick, who's going
to show up at your birthday party because there are
(17:34):
going to be any cameras around, Who's gonna talk to
you when the people online have turned on you like
that to me is most valuable. And for me understanding
that is when I said, you know, I actually ate
a boiled egg, a chicken breast, and a scoop of
tuna every day for almost a year to be so
(17:56):
skinny and almost you know, and was anemic to a
point where I stop my mental my my mist flow.
And if I keep that to myself, how selfish am I?
When there are young women who are now doing that
times a million because the Internet is telling them you
got to look this way, you gotta be this way.
(18:17):
That's just a selfishness that I'm not willing to participate in.
And so for me, I was like, be you, because
you're gonna show up anyway exactly. And it's been my
greatest asset every single time that I have received anything
from being in a movie where Robert de Niro to
(18:38):
being picked as the person that can be that can
go into the Senior citizen home and and sit with
the elders, those are all that they all mean the
same to me, but they've always been because Oh, I
love that you feel so real to me and I
feel like you're such an authentic person. Never has it
(18:58):
been because I, oh, you're size six, your hair is
really long, you got great cheek bones, none of that.
It's always been because of who what I give, and
what I give is this, it's it's real, and it's
for some people is too much and those are not
my people. And being able to learn that those are
not my people has been the greatest gift.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
I love that and I feel that at our core,
because I do think too many women shrink ourselves to
fit in to you know, it's like we dim our
light for everyone else to fall in line, and I'm.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
Like, stop fucking doing that. Stop It's so it's so annoying.
And the more we can have these conversations because people
don't realize what it costs you to shrink yourself.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
And you and I both have done.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
It, yep.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
But the reward of finally taking up is the moment
you're set free absolutely and and and you free everyone
else around you and like it.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
It's such a beautiful way to live life, because yeah,
you know, you have these movie stars and they play
all these characters and every day you can shape shift
like a motherfucker and you can show up and be
someone you're not, but like.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No one plays you better than you.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Get comfortable in your skin.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
And I guess what I've admired about you as a
comedian is your willingness to say what everyone else is thinking,
at least that what they want to admit, but they're.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Like, probably can't talk about that. Yeah, but it's it's
it's that's.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
The beauty of comedy.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And I what led.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
You into this career path? What what made you shine
so much light on your story and your struggle and
put it into your your ormance.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
You know, I'm I'm having a moment right here with
you as you say what you just said, because a
lot of people have asked me what led me to comedy,
and I've always said the external stuff, you know, Chris
Spencer said, you're funny, I did this thing. But the
truth is that what led me to my to do
(21:22):
stand up as I have this epiphany right here in
this moment, is that I needed a place to speak
without rebuttal. I needed a place to use my voice
and be able to speak without somebody saying but and
if then I needed it of be able to express
(21:42):
my voice. It's like those movies when you see somebody
who really wants to sing and they finally get the
microphone and you hear their soul when they sing. That's
what stand up has provided me. It's an opportunity to
just say the things that I want to say, how
I see the world, my point of view, not dictating
what everybody else should be thinking, but saying this is
(22:05):
how I feel. Has been this just real, this vomiting
of my soul and finally being able to speak for
all those years that are was silenced and not being
able to say what I really thought, and then just
to be able to do it with humor has always
been the greatest blessing.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Do you think that that humor can also heal our
past and our trauma and our scars.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Yeah, I definitely do. And I think we've been we've
been betrayed into believing that trauma always has to be dark.
But trauma is trauma, It is what is. It is
a part of all of us. And every single person
has trauma, whether you they're the richest person or the
poorest person, the happiest person or the saddest person. We
(22:56):
all experience trauma. It is part of our journey in life.
And we have the power to approach our trauma whichever
way we want. And the fact that we are told
grieving should look one way. You should. If you don't
look sad enough for the public, then you're not really grieving.
That's a lie. Because I had to be on last
comic standing six months after my grandmother died of cancer
(23:19):
and my uncle was beaten to death and kicked in
his head until his brain bled to death because he
was a gay man. And I had to get on
a national stage and tell jokes for five million people,
and nobody knew that on the inside, I was still
hurting and grieving and had to remind myself that the
dream was for me to have a better life, and
(23:40):
I had to push through because I had these two children,
these two beautiful souls that get to accompany me in life,
who deserve a better life, and this was my route
to get it. And as a result of that, it
was a very valuable lesson for me. So of course
I believe humor because it helped heal me in that moment.
It was part of my healing, which I'm still healing
(24:03):
from that, but it also healed a lot of people
that reached out to me and said, man, thank you
for showing up. And that is part of the healing
because the healing is collective, it's not just singular. You know,
we are all connected, whether we want to admit it
or not.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
And I think healing in community is the safest space
to be. You know, it's so important, and you know,
even if you're in a room full of people you
don't know, with you know, a comedian that you follow
that you may not know personally. I do think like
what maybe feels painful can become funny and it can
(24:43):
become therapeutic, and it doesn't. You're right, it doesn't have
to be this one size fits all for everyone.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
But I am.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Curious for you.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Did at the beginning, did comedy feel more like your
armor of protecting something or you I knew right away
like I'm gonna I'm just gonna open this up and
let it out and however it lands, it lands. Or
was there really not a lot of thought that went
into it?
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
No, A lot of thought went into it, but it
was it was a combination of the two. Because if
I would tell you that I had arrived when I
started stand up and I was I had it all
figured out, I'd be lying to you. But I was
very angry when I started doing stand up and that
was a good way for me to express some of
that anger through jokes. And even though the audience was laughing,
(25:34):
I was purging because I was I was very, very
angry about, you know, being in an abusive relationship prior
to doing stand up and not not identifying it as abuse,
because I was in a relationship with someone who convinced
me to believe that I was an active participant in
my own abuse and at sometimes the cause of it.
(25:56):
I was also, you know, just navigating being a single
mother and not having any help and really feeling alone
in the world. And I was really really angry, and
so I started doing stand up and some of that
anger started to come out by way of jokes, and
while the audience was laughing, I was working it out,
(26:16):
and I will I can look back and see some
of my videos and say, damn, you were really mad.
And even though the audience are, the people were like,
oh girl, you so funny, and I'm like, you have
no idea. It was just an exorcism, if you will,
of some of the stuff that I was storing inside
(26:38):
of my body, that I had been carrying since I
was a little girl, and just giving permission to others
to dump on me because I didn't feel I was
good enough to receive all the great shit in the world,
because I was told that it wasn't for me. Comedy
just started to become the place where I could be
(26:59):
just start owning my own life and steering myself into
the direction of the good stuff that I know I deserve,
but I didn't believe until then that microphone gave me
a lot of power.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Ooh, I love it, and it is very true because
I feel that now I'm just reflecting and sitting in
this moment with you. I was a really you know,
I grew up playing talker and that was my craft
and that was my art and that was my performing.
But fuck was I angry and it was my escape.
(27:32):
And I loved the feeling of exhaustion and suffering because
it made me feel yep, like you said I was.
I could purge the pain and I could walk away
and realize, like, wow, I feel better.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
I feel lighter.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Now. I don't have to shit dump on every single
person in my life because I'm holding that anger and
it's it's such a telling moment when you say that,
because everyone can find that outlet and you've got to
like date around and figure out good ways of releasing
that type of trauma. But you built a career around
(28:15):
saying what you mean. And I don't know if that
honesty is always welcome, especially for a woman.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
No, it isn't. I mean, I've gotten people doxing me.
I've had people, you know, just say horrible things to me.
Not in the last month, you know, people saying terrible
things to me. And it's you know, it's interesting. A
lot of men that don't like me. It's so funny
that used to sexualize me when I was younger, and
(28:43):
now they hate me because now they have to hear
my voice. It's interesting to me, you know, to see
that vitual and that hate because I'm a reflection of
something you don't want to face. And the fact that
you have the option not to face me is what
makes it so interesting that somebody will seek you out
(29:06):
who doesn't follow you, doesn't have to watch your Netflix
or your HBO or your podcast, right, they don't have to,
but they do. They're peeking around the corner because there's
something about you that is unsettling, something in them, because
there's a reflection there and instead there's something you're not
ready to face, so you have to hate on me.
(29:29):
And it's been so interesting to see because I will
peek into a profile sometimes to see who's sending oh hell,
yes you know, and I'm like, oh, not worthy of
a response. Oh this person here, here's the number nine
eight eight. Because you have a bad you're going through
something really bad. It has nothing to do with me,
(29:52):
you know, learning that, but just I get a lot
of I get a lot of pushback sometimes, and I
know sometimes it's just because I'm a woman, and I'm like, oh,
you you hate women because you to have a prom date.
It has nothing to do exactly. Stay tuned.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
I'll be back in just a moment after this brief
message from our sponsors. And your podcast is called Say
What You Mean, And I love the platform of you
being able to talk about these things. And I'm curious
of what's something you wish you said sooner in your life?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Oh thank you for asking me. No. No is what
is always when you look at your life and you
go back and you do a montage of scenes. I
wish no no. There are so many things that I
wish I would have said no to to people who
were manipulative, opportunistic, and some that weren't any in anything
(30:53):
that had that. Some didn't have any malicious or malice intent.
But I just wish I would have said no. I
wish I would have rested. I wish I would not
have gone on the trip. I wish I would not
have gone to the party. I wish I would have
knock gone to the mall. I wish I would not
have gone to lunch, to sit there and let somebody
dump on me. I wish I would not have gone
on that date out and that idea. I remember I
(31:17):
was told younger that don't regrets. That's disrespectful to God.
Regret is a waste of time. I regret a lot
of shit, and I'm okay to live and regret because
regret is a lesson. And to tell people, hey, you
shouldn't regret things, it's policing somebody else in how they
process their pain and their stuff. There's some motherfuckers I
wish I never went on a date with, and I
(31:39):
wish I never looked at again. There are some people
I wish I never was friends with because it was
a grand waste of my time. Now what I have
been able to do is learn the lesson, say thank
you for the lesson. The work here is done. I
release you back into the universe, and I hope you
have a great life. But I wish I would have
never met you. Is not going to go anywhere away
(32:00):
because it's me being one hundred percent real. And don't
betray yourself by saying what you think everybody should hear?
What the right things to say, what's the what's the
what's the metaphysical correct thing? What the quantum brain? All
that is bullshit. Some things you regret and regret as
a lesson, and I wish I would have said no
to a lot of things.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Yeah, I love that because you know, I'm I'm raising
a five year old daughter, and I'll tell you what,
I'll be damned if if my kid is not going
to understand the lesson of nose are sometimes just as
big and better as yes is and boundaries. I was
(32:42):
never taught boundaries as a kid. I was never taught
to trust my gut. I was never taught because I wanted,
like we talked about at the top of the show, I.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Wanted to be liked.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
I wanted to be digestible.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
I wanted to fit in.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
My no, I'd like, we are going to raise young
women and young men a lot different, a lot different
than we were because we didn't understand the implications that
came with that.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Absolutely, and it put us in harm, and it put
us in situations we shouldn't fucking have ever been in.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Absolutely. I remember no, And I was gonna say, I
remember being on a dance floor with this guy and
my brother was on the dance floor next to me.
And this guy is a professional football player and I
had just met him loosely. We talked a few times.
He met me at a club. We were dancing, and
another guy came to try to dance with me. When
(33:44):
he went to the bathroom, and this guy came from
me to choke me on the dance floor. When he
came out of the bathroom and saw the other guy
in front of me, he was gonna he was coming
from my neck and my luckily my brother was there,
and my brother jumped in the way you mean to
tell me, I can't say I wish I never met
that guy, or I wish I never said thank you
(34:06):
to that guy. And instead of going as ballistic as
I was entitled to, I tried to keep the peace.
I was like, let's not make a scene. I understand
you're really angry right now. You misunderstood the situation. That's
not the reaction to that. The reaction to that is
get out my face. I never want to see you again.
We have nothing to talk about from that point, not
(34:27):
negotiating with him. I'm not his therapist, I'm not his mother,
I barely know him. I'm not his woman. But that
man is an abuser. And the fact that I even
negotiated with him in that moment because I felt he
was worthy of some empathy or what must have led
him to that. I don't owe him that. You know.
One of the greatest things a friend of mine told
(34:49):
me is I want you to say this with me.
I refuse to carry what's not mine. And that was
groundbreaking for me because I've done that so much with
people who aren't worth of it. But yeah, I was like,
I really, I was taught to be amenable, to be
you know, digestible, to be you know, the peace, especially
(35:12):
around men, don't be the cause of trouble for men.
And I'm like, how does this get to be on me? Yeah?
What truth?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Are you still working on telling at this point in
your life.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
I'm working on that I belong in all the spaces
and that I don't have to I don't have to
be a shape shifter to belong. I belong just as
I am. And you know, being in the entertainment business,
you are being told all the time to be something else,
and for me, that's never worked. So I belong is
(35:49):
the the lifelong journey for me is that being able
to accept that as a truth. And I'm working on it.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
I love that. Do you think people with this current
landscape and social media and all the things that are
going on in our world, do you think people are
becoming more honest or more afraid to be honest?
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Well? I think it's uh, I think both. You know.
I think some people who I think, what's with these entertainers?
And I say that lightly because I don't take for
granted that I have I'm on HBO, I'm on Netflix,
I have opportunities, and I've done things on a greater landscape.
(36:34):
And so some people will say, why do you other yourself?
Like I say, I don't. I feel like I don't belong.
I'll be at a Hollywood party with all these celebrities
and actors, and I always feel out of place. I
feel very awkward. You look at my red carpet pictures.
I always look all stiff because I always feel like
I don't feel long. But it's it's a I don't know,
(36:55):
it's a curse and a gift. But I do think
that what's happening right now is that as these voices
of authenticity are rising and resonating with other people coming
out of the out of the woodwork, and people are like,
who is this podcaster, who's this influencer, the voice of
the everyday person saying I see you, I'm here, I
have a microphone, listen to me. Those people are speaking
(37:19):
truth the power. They're speaking out. And the people who
have a lot, a lot, a lot and don't want
to share it and don't want to let it go
or don't want to don't they want to stay in
that whatever, they're becoming less and less vocal. But they're
also becoming more and more invisible, and people are not,
(37:40):
you know, worshiping them as much. And there's going to
always be a section of people who worship celebrities in
a way that's unhealthy. But that has to do with
mental illness more than it has to do with the
state of the world. But people look at Albania, look
at what's happening around the world. People are like, we're
not participating in this because people have real stuff happening
(38:02):
in their lives and that doesn't go away whether the
phone is on, whether your favorite show is on, or
your favorite movie is on. And even though we get
distracted with that, I think that the real people are
rising to the top now, and they're rising in a
way that's not conventional, and I think it's great. It's
wonderful to watch because it gives voices that need to
(38:25):
be heard on microphone and I'm here for that. I
love that.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
It's interesting when you say that, when you talk about,
you know, being on the red carpet and being stiff
and being on HBO and being on Netflix. I think
one of the biggest themes I'm clocking and connecting is
that both of us have learned sometimes the hard way
that success doesn't always equal peace, Like it doesn't like people,
(38:51):
you know, when we're kids, we're like, we want to
be rich and famous and this, and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
At what cost?
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Yeah, Like what people have no idea? What it's like,
and it doesn't always. Success does not always equal peace
and money and getting that bag and living this perfect
life like it.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
It takes from you.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
It takes a lot from you that people may not understand.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
I've watched people rise into stardom in my career, and
you know, in my vicinity, I don't envy any of them.
I'm happy for all of them. I want them all
to continue to win and be rich and get the
validation that they need and fill those holes and whatever
it is that makes their soul sets their soul on fire.
I've seen careers of people that I have everything, and
(39:43):
a lot of people wish, and I don't. I don't
wish because what I do, what I've learned is what
rich is for me is not the same as for
somebody else. And I have two amazing human beings that
call me Mom, and that for me is that's that's
greater than any you know, I've been really shitted on
and mistreated by a lot of the people in this
(40:04):
industry who have power. A lot of people have said
horrible things about me. They've been sexist, they've been racist,
they've been you know, misogynists, they've been ageist, all of
the things, and still I have always found my way.
For me, what has been settling is seeing people like
Quinta Brunson or Michael cha or you know, Isa Ray,
(40:28):
like people who've created Donald Glover, like people who've created
these worlds where they get to do the things that
they want to do. They create opportunities for others, but others,
but they look happy within themselves, like they look like
I don't need all of that because all of that
comes with it comes with a price that I'm not
(40:48):
willing to pay because my soul is not for sale.
And that, for me, is what keeps me going is
seeing an example of people who their definition of success
looks very different than what the machine tries to push
and it is. It keeps me sane and it keeps
me regulated, knowing that I have what I want and
(41:12):
what I'm trying to do in this business is very different.
But I will never let other people tell me what
success is. There are a lot of people in this
country and in the world who have it, and if
they only knew, you know that they get to sit
at home at dinner every day with their family and
these people that they worship wish they had they could
(41:32):
sit at a table with five people around them who
actually mean them well, that would still be sitting there
the paychecks went away, if all the good, if all
the superficial and material stuff disappeared, are those people going
to still be sitting at that table? And a lot
of people who can say yes don't even know how
(41:53):
valuable that is because you're constantly being told that not
having the bags under your eyes is where that you
know hm and so learning.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
That it is it really is. It's so true and
so beautiful because you know, success means something so different
to a lot of people. But like you and I
I think when you start to become a mom and
you hold that title and it's so sacred, it's so beautiful.
(42:23):
It has absolutely changed everything about me, the way I move,
my wants, my needs, my happiness, what feels important, how
I feel most at home and free. But I think
there's something that probably connects you and I a little bit.
I think we're both determined to break generational trauma and
(42:47):
I want I want my children to have something different.
I think that's why we work our ass off, That's
why we're so involved in parenting.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
What what are?
Speaker 1 (42:59):
What cycles are you determined to break with your children
from your past.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I've broken so many My daughter was not a teenage
pregnant mom, so I didn't I didn't become a grandma
in my thirties. My mom was a grandmother in her thirties.
My grandmother was a grandmother in her thirties. You know,
my my children have finished their post secondary education, They're
(43:24):
working in fields that they want to work in. They
both are creatives with no frown nobody frowning upon them saying, Oh,
I wish you were a doctor. I wish you were
a lawyer. You know, the idea of what American uh,
that America values like. I was like, oh, okay, if
you want to be a writer, be the best writer
(43:45):
that you can be, Be the best director that you
can be. Uh. We've breaken. We've broken those curses. But
most most important, importantly, I think being able to communicate
and heal. Uh. One of the biggest things that I
learned about myself is that I don't want to be
in relationship with people who don't honor conflict resolution, because
(44:07):
it was my mom would not speak to me for
three days, or harbor or harbor resentment, or hold things
against me for years, you know, and me also doing
it to her. I don't want to be in relationships
with people that I can't say, hey, I didn't like
when you did that and you know, and they can't say, oh, well,
(44:28):
I'm sorry, you know, let's talk about it or it
won't happen again, and vice versa. That's important to me,
and I've lost a lot of friends, especially recently, because
how is it that I can tell you did something
that made me feel bad and that you hurt my
feelings and you make it about you and now you
don't want to talk to me anymore. I can't be
(44:48):
I appreciate your departure because for me that is a gift,
but it helped me understand that you don't respect me
enough to want to stay here with me and work
this out when you is something to me, But I'm
willing to stay here and work it out if I'm
the one on the other side. That's important to me,
and I think that with my kids that has been
(45:09):
one of the greatest gifts is that we are able
to have conversations. Even if they get uncomfortable and they
get ugly, we still know how to resolve conflict with
each other and that that has been very important to me.
That's a that's a I have family members that haven't
spoken in years because they're living in the eighties.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Yeah, exactly. And in our house we call it rupture
and repair. Oh and I would love I learned that
and therapy, and I would love to pass that on
to you because I talk about it. I'm the same
in my partnership and I you know, and for my children.
It's always how you know rupture is going to happen,
(45:51):
But how does everyone leave.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
The rupture feeling repaired?
Speaker 1 (45:55):
That is important too, and it has not one person
can leave feeling like it hasn't been repaired. Because you're right,
the resentment you carry and it spreads into every aspect
of your life, and it's it's important to seek that
repair so we can move forward and we can be
better because of it. I guess Unfortunately I have my
(46:18):
last question for you. Okay, time is flying.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
I love this.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
For the younger version of you, the girl who you
know had always questioned whether she belonged. Could you see
like to like if you could see if she could
see you today, in this moment of becoming healing, exactly
who you are. What do you think she would say to.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
You, Wow, we did it in spite of everything that
they told us we couldn't do and couldn't be. We
are still standing and we're doing it. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
And you know, the most beautiful lesson I think this
whole conversation is no matter what happens in life, because
it's full of twist and turns, you have to choose yourself,
and you have to choose and over and over and
over again. You have to wake up and choose yourself.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
Absolutely you do. And I will say Helen Keller's quote
is a quote that I learned at a very young agent.
It always stayed with me. One cannot consent to creep
when one feels an impulse to sore. And when I
gave myself permission to soar is when I started living
(47:41):
my own life. And that was the greatest gift I
ever gave myself, was the opportunity to just be wide
open and out loud. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Ida. You are such a gift and I just can't
thank you enough. I can't thank you enough for your
honesty and your openness, and you're the way you show
up in the world to speak your truth. I'm really grateful,
So thank you so much for being Wide Open, and
thank you for being on the show this week. I
know our listeners are going to take so much out
(48:13):
of out of your story, so thank you for sharing.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
Thank you for having me, and you are a gift.
And I think that right now, in this moment where
there are all these wars against you know, queer people
all over the world, the have beautiful people speaking up
and speaking out and showing up so beautifully is important.
One of the greatest wishes of my heart is that
my uncle could have seen this, because he didn't get
(48:38):
to live long enough to be able to see how
beautiful queer people are showing up. So thank you for
having me on your show. It's beautiful. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Thank you, Ida, I appreciate it. And thanks everyone for
tuning in to another episode of Wide Open. We'll see
you next week.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Oh what a great conversation.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
But what I love the most about it was Aida
reminds us that our stories don't have to.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Be neat and meaningful.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
The things that make us feel different, the things that
we're told to hide, the things we're convinced to make
up less than those are often the exact things that
make us powerful. Ada, Thank you for your honesty, your humor,
and your willingness to tell the truth even when it's uncomfortable.
Thank you all for listening, and if this conversation resonated
(49:26):
with you, share it with someone who needs it. And
until next time, as always, stay curious, stay open, and
keep showing up for yourself. This is wide open and
I'm Ashlan Harris. We'll see you next week.
Host
Ashlyn Harris
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