June 10, 2026 • 36 mins
In this special Pride Month fan Q&A, Sophia gets candid about everything from coming out and finding the courage to be fully yourself to the surprisingly personal fear she’s working to balance alongside the excitement she’s feeling about her upcoming memoir.
Plus, Sophia shares some practical packing tips, her presidential picks and why she can never go incognito.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, everyone, It's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress. Welcome
back to work in progress friends, Happy Pride. We are
(00:21):
a week into celebrating love in June, and we've gotten
so many questions from folks lately that we felt like
maybe this week we do another Q and A. It's
been a while, so let us dive right in. Thank
you for your questions. You know, some of them are
(00:42):
very vulnerable, some of them are very nerdy and sweet,
some of them really need to think. And I yeah,
I just love this stuff with you guys, So let's
dive right in on the subject of the month, said
Happy Pride. I am ready to come out to my parents.
(01:04):
They're cool, but I'm still nervous. Can you hype me up, oh,
dear one. Yes, here's what I think about that, no
matter where things fall on the scale for you in
your own house, whether your parents are pretty cool or
very affirming of people queer people in the world, or
(01:28):
even if your parents might be whatever they are that
might make you feel afraid, coming out is a big
deal because it forces you to integrate things you might
not realize you'd been carrying all your life. You know,
(01:50):
you learn as a queer person who is not out.
I also would sidebar for a moment and say, people
who experience domestic violence learnedness, people who have experienced sexual
violence and not talked about this learnedness. You learn to
(02:11):
reduce and perform. You withhold a part of yourself while
performing like a whole self. You keep something back for
fear of that violence in the world, or if you
have very prejudiced parents, for some folks listening, you withhold
(02:31):
because you're afraid of that violence at home. It is
a very intense thing, I think as a person to
come to terms with what you have withheld in order
to perform. You know, it was something I had to realize,
even for myself in as affirming a person as I've
(02:54):
always been as a ride or die supporter of my community,
that I've always been as someone who has been pretty
damn open playing characters across the spectrum, and knowing that
that mattered, that even my own desire to not have
(03:14):
every single relationship I was ever in, you know, chopped
up for parts out in the world, my desire for
some mode of privacy, even though I don't think I
thought for a moment I had a desire not to
specifically share my identity. I felt like I'd been sharing
(03:35):
it on screen for twenty years. My desire for privacy
was in a way a protection against the violence, the
violation of being used for clicks and tabloids and gossip,
and it was really a surprising thing to realize that
(03:57):
that in a way had also reduced me. And so
I share all of that only to say, in whatever
way you feel like it's all going to be okay,
there's still a part of you that's withholding, and there's
still a part of you that's required to perform because
(04:18):
of that. And performing is exhausting, sweetheart. It's tiring. It
takes more energy in the day than a human body
normally has. And so especially for you, be if you
feel ready, and you do think your parents are going
to be cool about it, I say, go for it.
(04:42):
Go for it, be your full self with your family
and the world, because the deep breath you will take
when you stop performing is going to give you something
I would wager you didn't even know you were missing.
So good luck to you, and I hope you were
met with every ounce of being seen, so you really
(05:07):
know what it feels like to see yourself in the world.
Sammy takes a left turn and says, you're always on
the go. What are some of your travel rituals and
packing hacks and jet lag cures? Girl? This is something
I could talk about for days. I still keep a
(05:28):
running note in my phone about how to travel better,
like Ooh, I might need this, Ooh, I might need that.
I love to have things that are always in my
carry on bag. I've recently ordered a bunch of little
mesh zipper pouches, and one has safety pins, tidesticks, shout wipes,
(05:52):
because sometimes when you're on the go and you spill something,
you don't have time to get something, you know, dry
cleaned or laundered, and you got to figure it out yourself.
I have another one of those that has all the
tech things I need. An Hdmi cable if I want
to plug my laptop and watch something on the TV
in the hotel. Two extra iPhone chargers. I always have
a charging brick. I keep an extra set of AirPods
(06:15):
and an extra set of wired headphones in my bag
at all times. And because I have a podcast, I
keep a set of wired headphones with the USBC and
a wired set of headphones that are old school style
that can plug into my laptop. I also, you know,
for the podcasters out there, have an actual travel mic
setup that is always in my suitcase because I once
(06:38):
forgot it and it was so deeply stressful and terrible
that I will never let that happen again. I keep
a toiletry set that is travel sized. Also in a
mesh zipper pouch that's essentially the size of a zip
block with all your you know, under three ounce things
in it that you need, one for hair, one for skin,
(07:01):
and don't laugh at me. I also keep another kind
of zipper pouch, but it's like a it's some sort
of I guess a plastic material, which I know is terrible,
but here we are. I don't want to use single
use plastic. So it's like a white grid, almost like
(07:22):
a blown up mesh that has colored zippers on the top.
And then in those I have full size hair products,
full sized skincare products. Because if I'm going anywhere longer
then a weekend where I'm only taking a carry on
bag and I'm checking luggage, then I bring full sized
toilet trees. I have most of my sort of toilet
(07:46):
trees and makeup in two drawers in my home, but
I keep the makeup I use the most in my
travel case. It has like a zip top that folds
down and then that goes just in the drawer, so
when I'm at home, I can use everything together. But
when I need to travel, I pull that out, the
zipit shut, throw it in the bag. I'm ready to go. Yeah,
(08:09):
those are sort of the hacks. I also, finally, in
the last couple of years, after twenty years of traveling
this much, invested in some hair tools with European plugs.
Because I shorted out two very nice curling irons, even
(08:30):
though I bought the converters that said they were converter adapters,
and then they weren't, and then they cost me a
lot more money than the converter did, so I gave
up on that. I now have a European plug curling iron,
straightening iron, and I finally bit the bullet. Here's a
pro tip going through customs so I could buy it
(08:53):
at the duty free in Europe. On my way home,
I bought Dice air wrap that has a European plug
as well, so I got it at quite a nice discount.
Things to the duty free, but that was still a
tough pill to swallow. It has made traveling for the
last two years so much easier. So that's a big
(09:14):
hack if you're at a point where you can invest
in something like that and jet lag cures. I work
really hard to try to get on a time zone
as quickly as possible. So if I'm flying east over
an ocean overnight, I will take a unism. It's an
(09:35):
over the counter sleep bait. This is not an ad,
by the way. I just learned this from a nurse friend.
It's an over the counter sleep bait. It's the only
one pregnant women are allowed to take. And you know
they spend no money on medical research for women. So
if we know pregnant women can take this with no
side effects, it's like gotta be And again, I don't
know this for a fact. I'm assuming it has to
(09:56):
probably be one of the safest things available on the market.
And so I'll get on a flight that's, you know,
at four pm landing wherever I'm going to work, London
or somewhere at nine am, and I will just knock
myself out at four I will force myself to sleep.
I bring an imask, I bring ear plugs. I bring
(10:18):
a blanket that is mine so that I feel very
comfortable on the plane. I have a pillow that I
like get under my neck just so so it stops
my head from falling over. And I force myself to
sleep so that then at least I wake up in
the morning and I just I suffer through that first day.
(10:39):
I drink a lot of coffee. I stay awake until
at least nine or ten PM, and then I try
to be on the time zone, and then coming back
the jet lag cure, which is so hard, but if
you can do it is necessary. You get on your flight.
I try to book an afternoon flight. I adjusted this
coming back from London for south by Southwest. I'm giving
(10:59):
you that at you know, nine and a half hour
flight or whatever it is. I got on a six
pm flight. I was very ready to go to sleep
by halfway through that flight, but I didn't let my stuff.
I kept my window shaped up because I was chasing
the sun the whole time, so seeing sunlight really helped
(11:21):
trick your brain. And I drank a coffee on the plane.
I went through movies I really wanted to see so
I would be interested, and I stayed awake until I
landed at ten o'clock, got my bags, got home, absolutely
took another unis on to make sure I really slept
through the night. And I woke up the next morning
(11:42):
at six forty five, wasn't quite ready to get up,
laid in bed for another hour, not sure if I
fell back asleep, and then I got up. And I
haven't had a hard time, and I've been home now
for almost a week, so I think I crushed it.
The flight was tough. I had to give myself a
couple little smacks in the face along the way, but
(12:06):
I did it, and I believe in you. You can
do it too. And now a word from our sponsors
that I really enjoy and I think you will too.
This segment is brought to you by our friends at
Miracle Girl. Some of my earliest childhood memories are in
the garden, helping my parents trim flowers, plant tomatoes, just
(12:31):
be out there playing in the dirt. We would roll
up our sleeves and spend afternoons in the springtime planting
together and making discoveries side by side. For me, a
garden is more than just a patch of dirt. It's
a place for connection, It's a way to bring people
together to slow down and spend some time in nature.
(12:54):
And I really love when I get to do that
with people. Whether that's taking friends down into the garden
to pick some tomatoes and basil for a salad we're
going to make, or having them suit up in a
full head to toe bee suit and learn how to
check on the bees that I keep. It's a really
special experience. Not everybody joins me in the garden, but
(13:17):
everyone who comes over for a dinner party certainly gets
a piece of it. And I really love that. Whether
friends are planting or weeding, or just hanging out and
talking or showing up for dinner, the busy week just
kind of melts away while we catch up, we get
our hands dirty, and then we make a meal together.
(13:38):
And the best part, so many of my friends that
come over have gotten inspired to start gardens of their own.
I get them set up with all the right stuff.
I give them the tips and tricks I've learned and
tell them what bumps in the road to avoid. And
I love making people a little kit, a little honey
from my garden. I get them a starter bag of
Miracle Grow organic outdoor potting mix because it is absolutely
(14:01):
the best for beginners. I make sure to set them
up to win. Miracle Grow Organic outdoor potting mix, beads
and nurtures your plants to help them stay healthy and
takes a lot of the guests workout, which is so
great when you're starting your gardening journey. And frankly, I'm
well into mine and I still use it all the
time because hello, I like to have the help and
(14:24):
I like succeeding, and I know other people do too.
It's so fun to watch my friends get into it.
I actually think my favorite part is that after a
few weeks, I'll get a text message with photos of
their plants or their herbs, and then you know, within
a couple of months we're comparing whose cherry tomatoes are
doing the best. I never want to have that competition
with Martha Stewart, but for the rest of us, it's fun.
(14:46):
You get my drift, it's really beautiful. Planting with friends
can turn into a ritual that brings everyone closer together.
I think food is a love language. I think a
garden is a love language between friends and certainly with
the planet. And I think when you teach someone to garden, Oh,
(15:06):
what is sweeter than that. If you want to get
started on your own garden, or maybe inspire someone you
love to get started on theirs, head to miraclegrow dot
com to check out all of their easy to use
products and start your growth journey today. Bella, Oh, this
is a good question. Besides your therapist. I love that
(15:28):
you ask that, because you all know how much I
love my therapist. He's a good did Besides your therapist,
Who in your life gives you the best advice? Oh,
my goodness, I have a handful of friends who give
incredible advice. Obviously, Nia, who's my best friend, is the
kind of person who just sees me, and she meets
(15:50):
me and everyone in her life with a judgment free
openness and really thoughtful questions, just such a level of real,
genuine support that I think she makes everybody feel safe
and cared for. She's an incredible advice giver. We joke though,
(16:13):
that we are both so incredibly adept at political engagement
and civic work and fiscal work, and you know, our
entertainment work, all the things we do, and that sometimes
the simpler sort of personal stuff is harder, and it's
(16:34):
nice to have someone who has the same thing in
common with you that's also hard for you to figure out.
I can solve a systemic problem much more quickly than
I can solve a close to me personal one, so
we can really bounce ideas off each other that way.
My friend Lauren is one of the best advice givers
I know. She's been living abroad for a year, so
(16:56):
I don't get to talk to her as much, and
I like feel the way my soul and this is
her advice. I can't wait for her to come home. Likewise,
my friends Sam and Sammy, who are two different people.
Sometimes people get confused unbelievable advice givers. My friend Rory.
If you haven't read her book or listened to our
(17:17):
podcast episode, Rory Uphold was on the pod to talk
about her first book, The Horrors of Dating, a Final
Girl's Guide to Getting through Relationships. You guys, it's so
good and Rory's the kind of friend you want to
call when you want really exacting advice that also reminds
you who the fuck you are. So I've got a
(17:39):
really good list of humans who do that with me,
and I'm very very grateful. Skyler, who would you like
to see run for president in twenty twenty eight. Anyone
who's not a fascist, anyone with actual expertise in democracy,
public health, know the way actual systems of government work.
(18:04):
I mean, guys seeing everything explode, from the measles to
the screw worm coming back to infect American beef herds,
which by the way, we've eradicated since the nineteen sixties
by assisting south of our own border with these It's complicated,
but readap on it. We basically we drop these flies
(18:24):
that then eradicate the bug population that spreads upwards and
causes the screw worm investations. I know it's going to
sound crazy. It's like, oh, we spent forty million dollars
a year on that. When you have a multi billion dollar,
multi trillion dollar budget, that's not a lot of money.
When you protect the food sources of three hundred and
(18:47):
thirty two million citizens in America and then all of
the other people who you know, live in our country
on visas and green cards and all of the other things,
and the people, by the way, who are our neighbors
just across the border, Like that is not even a
drop in the bucket When you're talking about that sort
of money, at that scale, and they called it waste
(19:11):
f audtive use, and they got rid of it, and
now we're like literally at risk of not being able
to feed people. It's just those are two examples where
I just cannot fathom what we're doing. And I think
about the harm done by incompetent administrations. I think about
the harm done that we are seeing in our economy
(19:33):
and our gas prices, and entering into another war nobody
wanted to be. And I mean, the list goes on
and on and on. The reduction of rights for everyone
who doesn't look like the president, for women who are
dying at record rates since the overturning of dobs, for
people of color in our country who are losing their
constitutional rights to have their voices heard. And by the way,
(19:54):
it's against American law to have taxation without representation. Don't
even get me started on the people who live in
the District of Washington, d C. District of Columbia. To
be clear, the amount of work we're gonna have to
do just to fix the fuck ups if we even can.
(20:15):
The science we've lost, the cancer research that stopped the
scientists who have left the country. You guys who are
now setting up lives and labs in other places. We
are losing the wind and energy projects that have been
canceled that are going elsewhere. We've lost the future of
(20:37):
the energy race to China already. These are things that
will take so long to fix. They will take so
much more money to fix, so much time, so much effort.
And what frustrates me, and what I want you to
talk to the people in your lives about, is we
(20:57):
could have spent the last decade that we have been
dealing with this man in office twice. We could have
spent the last ten years building by leaps and bounds.
We could have cured certain cancers. We could have become
the global green energy leader of the world. We could
(21:18):
have taken American citizens who have worked in energy production
that has hurt them and their families, caused cancer, caused injury,
caused death in some instances. We could have given all
of those people the best clean energy jobs that would
pay them more, give them benefits, create health care for
their families. We could have continued to change everything here
(21:45):
and abroad. We could have stopped this abola outbreak. We
could have taken the magic we all felt watching Artemis
two go to the Dark Side of the Moon and
doubled it tenfold instead of NASA to one of its
lowest budgets. I believe ever, we're gonna have to spend
(22:06):
all this time and money fixing instead of building, and
that pisses me off. That's the waste, fraud and abuse.
And so when we think about the run for twenty
twenty eight, I'm open. Is it Pete buddhacheg is it
Gavin Newsom? Let me tell you something as a person
(22:28):
who was born and raised and lived in California for
a long time, Yes, is Kamala Harris coming back to run?
Let me tell you something else, as a person who
worked alongside her and her administration for a very long time,
both in the White House and in California as well,
seeing what she has doggedly done for people, does she
want to come back? Yes, I'm in any of them.
(22:51):
But we cannot risk turning our political system into reality TV,
into wanting to watch the drama on Love Island or
Summer House from the Oval Office. Like enough, we have
(23:11):
to we have to get a little sane again where
it comes to how we build a nation. And I
think we need to understand that so many of these
systems that we never saw or perhaps paid attention to
(23:31):
in real time, they matter. Each of those things is
a piece of the net that literally held up society,
and I would argue the world and while I think
we have a lot to add to that net and
a lot to build to be better, ripping the whole
(23:53):
thing apart because nobody bothered paying attention how it worked
in the first place is not working. So that's what
I think about that. And if you are thinking about
the midterms, if you're thinking about twenty twenty eight, please
sign up to volunteer for an organization that works for good.
Whether it's the Human Rights Campaign. I'm in one of
(24:15):
my favorite HRC sweatshirts right now. Democracy Now. If you
want to get involved with us, and I am a voter.
If you want to work on a specific campaign, sign
up with Stacy Abrams. I mean, anyone, please show up.
We were going to need all hands on deck. And
(24:37):
now for our sponsors. Ooh, this is a good question
from Linda. Are there any stories in your upcoming memoir
that you are anxious about sharing? Yeah, all of them.
(25:00):
You know. Working on my first book has been such
a labor of love, you know, for anyone who's busy
and hasn't seen the news announcement or the posts about it.
I'm working on my first book, my memoir in parts
(25:22):
titled I Will Tell You Mine, is coming out this
fall and I'm so excited about it. I also need
to give a shout out book agent Kate Hoyit, who
has literally been chasing me for nine years trying to
get me to write this book. Kate started sending me
email compilations of the essays you all know I like
(25:44):
to write on Instagram and saying, hey, Hi, you're writing
short form essays on social media. You're a writer. You
need to write a book. And I was like, you're sweet,
I don't have time for that. And we went back
and forth for nearly a decade, and I think, I know,
there was finally a point when I had realized I'd
started to write reflections like that nearly every day in
(26:09):
my own private journals for about eighteen months where I went, oh,
I think I'm starting, you know, I think I'm actually
starting to write a book. And here we are, and
it's still very scary, you know, it's it's terrifying to
share about things that shaped you that might hurt other
(26:35):
people in the sharing, even though you've done the work
in those groups or those family structures to process those things,
and everyone loves each other and everything's okay. You can't
talk about how you got somewhere without talking about what
shaped you, which is good and bad. And I think
(26:59):
my greatest year is to ever make anyone feel embarrassed
now about things I used to feel embarrassed about or
carry shame about before I did the work to unpack that.
I think also, guys, it's twenty twenty six, like everyone's
just mean about everything. The Internet thinks everything is cringe.
(27:22):
I'm scared to share about things that I find beautiful
and be made fun of for it, you know. I'm
scared to share about my AHA moments and the slow
revelations I'm still experiencing and have people be cruel or
say like, can't believe a fucking took you this long
(27:43):
to figure it out or whatever. I mean. I don't
feel like I can move outside of the space of
my home without seeing such vitriol, and I have to
do a lot of work to remind myself that there's
also so much kindness. But the world gets off on
(28:07):
the cruelty now, and it's a scary time to choose
to share. You know, it's tough because maybe if I'd
written you my book in twenty fifteen, it would feel different.
But I don't think I was a fully formed version
(28:31):
of myself yet. So it is the greatest kind of
whiplash I've ever experienced working on this book, from pride
and tenderness to like terror. Everybody here we are and
(28:53):
it's goven Oh, I love this question, f he asks.
Ashland's documentary looks amazing. What's something you learned about her
from it? So much? You know, it's really beautiful. It
was really beautiful to watch her. A little backstory. You know,
she's been producing a lot of amazing sports content, amazing
(29:16):
sports stories. You know, she eped, pitched, and then ep'ed
a whole sports documentary series that was produced by Hollow Sunshine.
It was on Peacock. I hope you guys watched it.
The Rise. It's so incredible. I learned so much about
all those athletes and all those sports in every one
of those episodes, and then her next idea was to
(29:40):
do more in depth, you know, single athlete documentary every
episode series mini series with Roku, you know, in separate verticals.
She was looking at their documentary space, their unscripted space,
and I was looking at their future film space, and frankly,
(30:05):
knowing what was coming, you know, after the twenty twenty
four election, knowing that everything the expert economists said was true,
we knew the economy was going to get really hard
for people. We kept joking. I mean, not that it
was funny, but being like gas is about to get
so expensive, people aren't going to be able to afford
to go to the movies. It was really important for
both of us to put our producing hats on and
(30:27):
make content that was accessible for families for free. And
so I was off making Broad Trip, my film with
Lauren Holly that came out in May on Roku while
she was pitching this, and then this got picked up
by Roku for unscripted. So I like, get a FaceTime
and the executives on my movie or talking to her executives,
(30:49):
and I'm like, this is crazy anyway, very sweet, felt
very kismet, and it was really cool to then hear
because I'm I'm really an easdropper, but if I'm in
the room, I'm going to listen to the zoom you're
on obviously, and to hear them say, you know, with
everything you shared with us across our pitch meetings, We've
(31:13):
had our internal conversations, we want the first story to
be your story. And she was kind of like what,
so I knew so many parts of her story, but
there's something about such an amazing documentary crew, such an
incredible director, you know, going home and gathering all the research,
(31:40):
all the photos, you know, hearing Ants and Dornce talk
about her, hearing about what it's like to you know,
be chosen to be the backup for the best goalkeeper ever.
So like, okay, you're the second best goalkeeper ever. Like what.
It's such a crazy place to be in and to
(32:05):
watch someone sit with what it is to have a
lifelong passion, to have that passion dinged by injury, and
to have this whole, very public athletic life with this
whole thing happening underneath that nobody knew about. I knew
(32:26):
those stories, but to see them tied together the way
they were. While I've been working on the same process
for myself with my book, to see how sometimes what
you go through that home, what you learn by osmosis
as a child. The way it follows you and affects
you for so long in your life mirrors into your
(32:49):
own everything. It's really profound, and it's been really beautiful too,
to feel like through this project for her and this
project I'm working on for me, we're connecting even more dots.
I think it's a way to see and love a
(33:11):
person even more deeply. And I'm really grateful that I've
been with her through this process because I love her
more and I think her being with me through my
process is helping me, you know, learn to love myself
more as well, which is beautiful. Oh Maya has a
(33:36):
really good question. Oh my goodness, would you ever do
a one woman show like Cynthia or Reeve I just
did in London? Okay, so you saw me post about
Cynthia and Dracula. I have never in my life seen
such a thing. I would love to work with Kip Williams.
(34:00):
I would love to do something like that. And I
don't think I could do that for sixteen weeks like
she did. I don't. Maybe I could, you know, maybe
if I really went underground for long enough to store
up the energy to do it and then did the
(34:20):
same afterwards. Part of me is like, I think I
think I could do like eight weeks of that after
all the weeks of rehearsal. I don't know if I
could do sixteen weeks. I don't know. Maybe I have
to try. But oh, my goodness, what a feat. I mean,
just what an incredible feat of artistry. Unreal. Okay, sorry,
(34:50):
I love the last one. It's so good. Alex. Have
you ever been mistaken for another celebrity? Here's what's funny. No,
And I've come to learn apparently it's because of my voice.
Because even if someone sees me and has a moment
(35:11):
where they're trying to figure out why I'm familiar, once
I reply, they know and they say it's it's my
voice that makes the final aha click. I even had
that experience during COVID when we were all masking, people
would hear my voice and know it was me behind
(35:31):
the mask. So I don't know, guys, I don't think
I'm I don't think I'm gonna get away with it.
Thanks for joining today. This has just been so much fun.
Your questions are wonderful. Keep sending them in. We'll try
to we'll try to get to these a little more often.
I really enjoy this time with you all. Have a
(35:52):
great week, Fam and happy Pride.
Hi, everyone, It's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress. Welcome
back to work in progress friends, Happy Pride. We are
(00:21):
a week into celebrating love in June, and we've gotten
so many questions from folks lately that we felt like
maybe this week we do another Q and A. It's
been a while, so let us dive right in. Thank
you for your questions. You know, some of them are
(00:42):
very vulnerable, some of them are very nerdy and sweet,
some of them really need to think. And I yeah,
I just love this stuff with you guys, So let's
dive right in on the subject of the month, said
Happy Pride. I am ready to come out to my parents.
(01:04):
They're cool, but I'm still nervous. Can you hype me up, oh,
dear one. Yes, here's what I think about that, no
matter where things fall on the scale for you in
your own house, whether your parents are pretty cool or
very affirming of people queer people in the world, or
(01:28):
even if your parents might be whatever they are that
might make you feel afraid, coming out is a big
deal because it forces you to integrate things you might
not realize you'd been carrying all your life. You know,
(01:50):
you learn as a queer person who is not out.
I also would sidebar for a moment and say, people
who experience domestic violence learnedness, people who have experienced sexual
violence and not talked about this learnedness. You learn to
(02:11):
reduce and perform. You withhold a part of yourself while
performing like a whole self. You keep something back for
fear of that violence in the world, or if you
have very prejudiced parents, for some folks listening, you withhold
(02:31):
because you're afraid of that violence at home. It is
a very intense thing, I think as a person to
come to terms with what you have withheld in order
to perform. You know, it was something I had to realize,
even for myself in as affirming a person as I've
(02:54):
always been as a ride or die supporter of my community,
that I've always been as someone who has been pretty
damn open playing characters across the spectrum, and knowing that
that mattered, that even my own desire to not have
(03:14):
every single relationship I was ever in, you know, chopped
up for parts out in the world, my desire for
some mode of privacy, even though I don't think I
thought for a moment I had a desire not to
specifically share my identity. I felt like I'd been sharing
(03:35):
it on screen for twenty years. My desire for privacy
was in a way a protection against the violence, the
violation of being used for clicks and tabloids and gossip,
and it was really a surprising thing to realize that
(03:57):
that in a way had also reduced me. And so
I share all of that only to say, in whatever
way you feel like it's all going to be okay,
there's still a part of you that's withholding, and there's
still a part of you that's required to perform because
(04:18):
of that. And performing is exhausting, sweetheart. It's tiring. It
takes more energy in the day than a human body
normally has. And so especially for you, be if you
feel ready, and you do think your parents are going
to be cool about it, I say, go for it.
(04:42):
Go for it, be your full self with your family
and the world, because the deep breath you will take
when you stop performing is going to give you something
I would wager you didn't even know you were missing.
So good luck to you, and I hope you were
met with every ounce of being seen, so you really
(05:07):
know what it feels like to see yourself in the world.
Sammy takes a left turn and says, you're always on
the go. What are some of your travel rituals and
packing hacks and jet lag cures? Girl? This is something
I could talk about for days. I still keep a
(05:28):
running note in my phone about how to travel better,
like Ooh, I might need this, Ooh, I might need that.
I love to have things that are always in my
carry on bag. I've recently ordered a bunch of little
mesh zipper pouches, and one has safety pins, tidesticks, shout wipes,
(05:52):
because sometimes when you're on the go and you spill something,
you don't have time to get something, you know, dry
cleaned or laundered, and you got to figure it out yourself.
I have another one of those that has all the
tech things I need. An Hdmi cable if I want
to plug my laptop and watch something on the TV
in the hotel. Two extra iPhone chargers. I always have
a charging brick. I keep an extra set of AirPods
(06:15):
and an extra set of wired headphones in my bag
at all times. And because I have a podcast, I
keep a set of wired headphones with the USBC and
a wired set of headphones that are old school style
that can plug into my laptop. I also, you know,
for the podcasters out there, have an actual travel mic
setup that is always in my suitcase because I once
(06:38):
forgot it and it was so deeply stressful and terrible
that I will never let that happen again. I keep
a toiletry set that is travel sized. Also in a
mesh zipper pouch that's essentially the size of a zip
block with all your you know, under three ounce things
in it that you need, one for hair, one for skin,
(07:01):
and don't laugh at me. I also keep another kind
of zipper pouch, but it's like a it's some sort
of I guess a plastic material, which I know is terrible,
but here we are. I don't want to use single
use plastic. So it's like a white grid, almost like
(07:22):
a blown up mesh that has colored zippers on the top.
And then in those I have full size hair products,
full sized skincare products. Because if I'm going anywhere longer
then a weekend where I'm only taking a carry on
bag and I'm checking luggage, then I bring full sized
toilet trees. I have most of my sort of toilet
(07:46):
trees and makeup in two drawers in my home, but
I keep the makeup I use the most in my
travel case. It has like a zip top that folds
down and then that goes just in the drawer, so
when I'm at home, I can use everything together. But
when I need to travel, I pull that out, the
zipit shut, throw it in the bag. I'm ready to go. Yeah,
(08:09):
those are sort of the hacks. I also, finally, in
the last couple of years, after twenty years of traveling
this much, invested in some hair tools with European plugs.
Because I shorted out two very nice curling irons, even
(08:30):
though I bought the converters that said they were converter adapters,
and then they weren't, and then they cost me a
lot more money than the converter did, so I gave
up on that. I now have a European plug curling iron,
straightening iron, and I finally bit the bullet. Here's a
pro tip going through customs so I could buy it
(08:53):
at the duty free in Europe. On my way home,
I bought Dice air wrap that has a European plug
as well, so I got it at quite a nice discount.
Things to the duty free, but that was still a
tough pill to swallow. It has made traveling for the
last two years so much easier. So that's a big
(09:14):
hack if you're at a point where you can invest
in something like that and jet lag cures. I work
really hard to try to get on a time zone
as quickly as possible. So if I'm flying east over
an ocean overnight, I will take a unism. It's an
(09:35):
over the counter sleep bait. This is not an ad,
by the way. I just learned this from a nurse friend.
It's an over the counter sleep bait. It's the only
one pregnant women are allowed to take. And you know
they spend no money on medical research for women. So
if we know pregnant women can take this with no
side effects, it's like gotta be And again, I don't
know this for a fact. I'm assuming it has to
(09:56):
probably be one of the safest things available on the market.
And so I'll get on a flight that's, you know,
at four pm landing wherever I'm going to work, London
or somewhere at nine am, and I will just knock
myself out at four I will force myself to sleep.
I bring an imask, I bring ear plugs. I bring
(10:18):
a blanket that is mine so that I feel very
comfortable on the plane. I have a pillow that I
like get under my neck just so so it stops
my head from falling over. And I force myself to
sleep so that then at least I wake up in
the morning and I just I suffer through that first day.
(10:39):
I drink a lot of coffee. I stay awake until
at least nine or ten PM, and then I try
to be on the time zone, and then coming back
the jet lag cure, which is so hard, but if
you can do it is necessary. You get on your flight.
I try to book an afternoon flight. I adjusted this
coming back from London for south by Southwest. I'm giving
(10:59):
you that at you know, nine and a half hour
flight or whatever it is. I got on a six
pm flight. I was very ready to go to sleep
by halfway through that flight, but I didn't let my stuff.
I kept my window shaped up because I was chasing
the sun the whole time, so seeing sunlight really helped
(11:21):
trick your brain. And I drank a coffee on the plane.
I went through movies I really wanted to see so
I would be interested, and I stayed awake until I
landed at ten o'clock, got my bags, got home, absolutely
took another unis on to make sure I really slept
through the night. And I woke up the next morning
(11:42):
at six forty five, wasn't quite ready to get up,
laid in bed for another hour, not sure if I
fell back asleep, and then I got up. And I
haven't had a hard time, and I've been home now
for almost a week, so I think I crushed it.
The flight was tough. I had to give myself a
couple little smacks in the face along the way, but
(12:06):
I did it, and I believe in you. You can
do it too. And now a word from our sponsors
that I really enjoy and I think you will too.
This segment is brought to you by our friends at
Miracle Girl. Some of my earliest childhood memories are in
the garden, helping my parents trim flowers, plant tomatoes, just
(12:31):
be out there playing in the dirt. We would roll
up our sleeves and spend afternoons in the springtime planting
together and making discoveries side by side. For me, a
garden is more than just a patch of dirt. It's
a place for connection, It's a way to bring people
together to slow down and spend some time in nature.
(12:54):
And I really love when I get to do that
with people. Whether that's taking friends down into the garden
to pick some tomatoes and basil for a salad we're
going to make, or having them suit up in a
full head to toe bee suit and learn how to
check on the bees that I keep. It's a really
special experience. Not everybody joins me in the garden, but
(13:17):
everyone who comes over for a dinner party certainly gets
a piece of it. And I really love that. Whether
friends are planting or weeding, or just hanging out and
talking or showing up for dinner, the busy week just
kind of melts away while we catch up, we get
our hands dirty, and then we make a meal together.
(13:38):
And the best part, so many of my friends that
come over have gotten inspired to start gardens of their own.
I get them set up with all the right stuff.
I give them the tips and tricks I've learned and
tell them what bumps in the road to avoid. And
I love making people a little kit, a little honey
from my garden. I get them a starter bag of
Miracle Grow organic outdoor potting mix because it is absolutely
(14:01):
the best for beginners. I make sure to set them
up to win. Miracle Grow Organic outdoor potting mix, beads
and nurtures your plants to help them stay healthy and
takes a lot of the guests workout, which is so
great when you're starting your gardening journey. And frankly, I'm
well into mine and I still use it all the
time because hello, I like to have the help and
(14:24):
I like succeeding, and I know other people do too.
It's so fun to watch my friends get into it.
I actually think my favorite part is that after a
few weeks, I'll get a text message with photos of
their plants or their herbs, and then you know, within
a couple of months we're comparing whose cherry tomatoes are
doing the best. I never want to have that competition
with Martha Stewart, but for the rest of us, it's fun.
(14:46):
You get my drift, it's really beautiful. Planting with friends
can turn into a ritual that brings everyone closer together.
I think food is a love language. I think a
garden is a love language between friends and certainly with
the planet. And I think when you teach someone to garden, Oh,
(15:06):
what is sweeter than that. If you want to get
started on your own garden, or maybe inspire someone you
love to get started on theirs, head to miraclegrow dot
com to check out all of their easy to use
products and start your growth journey today. Bella, Oh, this
is a good question. Besides your therapist. I love that
(15:28):
you ask that, because you all know how much I
love my therapist. He's a good did Besides your therapist,
Who in your life gives you the best advice? Oh,
my goodness, I have a handful of friends who give
incredible advice. Obviously, Nia, who's my best friend, is the
kind of person who just sees me, and she meets
(15:50):
me and everyone in her life with a judgment free
openness and really thoughtful questions, just such a level of real,
genuine support that I think she makes everybody feel safe
and cared for. She's an incredible advice giver. We joke though,
(16:13):
that we are both so incredibly adept at political engagement
and civic work and fiscal work, and you know, our
entertainment work, all the things we do, and that sometimes
the simpler sort of personal stuff is harder, and it's
(16:34):
nice to have someone who has the same thing in
common with you that's also hard for you to figure out.
I can solve a systemic problem much more quickly than
I can solve a close to me personal one, so
we can really bounce ideas off each other that way.
My friend Lauren is one of the best advice givers
I know. She's been living abroad for a year, so
(16:56):
I don't get to talk to her as much, and
I like feel the way my soul and this is
her advice. I can't wait for her to come home. Likewise,
my friends Sam and Sammy, who are two different people.
Sometimes people get confused unbelievable advice givers. My friend Rory.
If you haven't read her book or listened to our
(17:17):
podcast episode, Rory Uphold was on the pod to talk
about her first book, The Horrors of Dating, a Final
Girl's Guide to Getting through Relationships. You guys, it's so
good and Rory's the kind of friend you want to
call when you want really exacting advice that also reminds
you who the fuck you are. So I've got a
(17:39):
really good list of humans who do that with me,
and I'm very very grateful. Skyler, who would you like
to see run for president in twenty twenty eight. Anyone
who's not a fascist, anyone with actual expertise in democracy,
public health, know the way actual systems of government work.
(18:04):
I mean, guys seeing everything explode, from the measles to
the screw worm coming back to infect American beef herds,
which by the way, we've eradicated since the nineteen sixties
by assisting south of our own border with these It's complicated,
but readap on it. We basically we drop these flies
(18:24):
that then eradicate the bug population that spreads upwards and
causes the screw worm investations. I know it's going to
sound crazy. It's like, oh, we spent forty million dollars
a year on that. When you have a multi billion dollar,
multi trillion dollar budget, that's not a lot of money.
When you protect the food sources of three hundred and
(18:47):
thirty two million citizens in America and then all of
the other people who you know, live in our country
on visas and green cards and all of the other things,
and the people, by the way, who are our neighbors
just across the border, Like that is not even a
drop in the bucket When you're talking about that sort
of money, at that scale, and they called it waste
(19:11):
f audtive use, and they got rid of it, and
now we're like literally at risk of not being able
to feed people. It's just those are two examples where
I just cannot fathom what we're doing. And I think
about the harm done by incompetent administrations. I think about
the harm done that we are seeing in our economy
(19:33):
and our gas prices, and entering into another war nobody
wanted to be. And I mean, the list goes on
and on and on. The reduction of rights for everyone
who doesn't look like the president, for women who are
dying at record rates since the overturning of dobs, for
people of color in our country who are losing their
constitutional rights to have their voices heard. And by the way,
(19:54):
it's against American law to have taxation without representation. Don't
even get me started on the people who live in
the District of Washington, d C. District of Columbia. To
be clear, the amount of work we're gonna have to
do just to fix the fuck ups if we even can.
(20:15):
The science we've lost, the cancer research that stopped the
scientists who have left the country. You guys who are
now setting up lives and labs in other places. We
are losing the wind and energy projects that have been
canceled that are going elsewhere. We've lost the future of
(20:37):
the energy race to China already. These are things that
will take so long to fix. They will take so
much more money to fix, so much time, so much effort.
And what frustrates me, and what I want you to
talk to the people in your lives about, is we
(20:57):
could have spent the last decade that we have been
dealing with this man in office twice. We could have
spent the last ten years building by leaps and bounds.
We could have cured certain cancers. We could have become
the global green energy leader of the world. We could
(21:18):
have taken American citizens who have worked in energy production
that has hurt them and their families, caused cancer, caused injury,
caused death in some instances. We could have given all
of those people the best clean energy jobs that would
pay them more, give them benefits, create health care for
their families. We could have continued to change everything here
(21:45):
and abroad. We could have stopped this abola outbreak. We
could have taken the magic we all felt watching Artemis
two go to the Dark Side of the Moon and
doubled it tenfold instead of NASA to one of its
lowest budgets. I believe ever, we're gonna have to spend
(22:06):
all this time and money fixing instead of building, and
that pisses me off. That's the waste, fraud and abuse.
And so when we think about the run for twenty
twenty eight, I'm open. Is it Pete buddhacheg is it
Gavin Newsom? Let me tell you something as a person
(22:28):
who was born and raised and lived in California for
a long time, Yes, is Kamala Harris coming back to run?
Let me tell you something else, as a person who
worked alongside her and her administration for a very long time,
both in the White House and in California as well,
seeing what she has doggedly done for people, does she
want to come back? Yes, I'm in any of them.
(22:51):
But we cannot risk turning our political system into reality TV,
into wanting to watch the drama on Love Island or
Summer House from the Oval Office. Like enough, we have
(23:11):
to we have to get a little sane again where
it comes to how we build a nation. And I
think we need to understand that so many of these
systems that we never saw or perhaps paid attention to
(23:31):
in real time, they matter. Each of those things is
a piece of the net that literally held up society,
and I would argue the world and while I think
we have a lot to add to that net and
a lot to build to be better, ripping the whole
(23:53):
thing apart because nobody bothered paying attention how it worked
in the first place is not working. So that's what
I think about that. And if you are thinking about
the midterms, if you're thinking about twenty twenty eight, please
sign up to volunteer for an organization that works for good.
Whether it's the Human Rights Campaign. I'm in one of
(24:15):
my favorite HRC sweatshirts right now. Democracy Now. If you
want to get involved with us, and I am a voter.
If you want to work on a specific campaign, sign
up with Stacy Abrams. I mean, anyone, please show up.
We were going to need all hands on deck. And
(24:37):
now for our sponsors. Ooh, this is a good question
from Linda. Are there any stories in your upcoming memoir
that you are anxious about sharing? Yeah, all of them.
(25:00):
You know. Working on my first book has been such
a labor of love, you know, for anyone who's busy
and hasn't seen the news announcement or the posts about it.
I'm working on my first book, my memoir in parts
(25:22):
titled I Will Tell You Mine, is coming out this
fall and I'm so excited about it. I also need
to give a shout out book agent Kate Hoyit, who
has literally been chasing me for nine years trying to
get me to write this book. Kate started sending me
email compilations of the essays you all know I like
(25:44):
to write on Instagram and saying, hey, Hi, you're writing
short form essays on social media. You're a writer. You
need to write a book. And I was like, you're sweet,
I don't have time for that. And we went back
and forth for nearly a decade, and I think, I know,
there was finally a point when I had realized I'd
started to write reflections like that nearly every day in
(26:09):
my own private journals for about eighteen months where I went, oh,
I think I'm starting, you know, I think I'm actually
starting to write a book. And here we are, and
it's still very scary, you know, it's it's terrifying to
share about things that shaped you that might hurt other
(26:35):
people in the sharing, even though you've done the work
in those groups or those family structures to process those things,
and everyone loves each other and everything's okay. You can't
talk about how you got somewhere without talking about what
shaped you, which is good and bad. And I think
(26:59):
my greatest year is to ever make anyone feel embarrassed
now about things I used to feel embarrassed about or
carry shame about before I did the work to unpack that.
I think also, guys, it's twenty twenty six, like everyone's
just mean about everything. The Internet thinks everything is cringe.
(27:22):
I'm scared to share about things that I find beautiful
and be made fun of for it, you know. I'm
scared to share about my AHA moments and the slow
revelations I'm still experiencing and have people be cruel or
say like, can't believe a fucking took you this long
(27:43):
to figure it out or whatever. I mean. I don't
feel like I can move outside of the space of
my home without seeing such vitriol, and I have to
do a lot of work to remind myself that there's
also so much kindness. But the world gets off on
(28:07):
the cruelty now, and it's a scary time to choose
to share. You know, it's tough because maybe if I'd
written you my book in twenty fifteen, it would feel different.
But I don't think I was a fully formed version
(28:31):
of myself yet. So it is the greatest kind of
whiplash I've ever experienced working on this book, from pride
and tenderness to like terror. Everybody here we are and
(28:53):
it's goven Oh, I love this question, f he asks.
Ashland's documentary looks amazing. What's something you learned about her
from it? So much? You know, it's really beautiful. It
was really beautiful to watch her. A little backstory. You know,
she's been producing a lot of amazing sports content, amazing
(29:16):
sports stories. You know, she eped, pitched, and then ep'ed
a whole sports documentary series that was produced by Hollow Sunshine.
It was on Peacock. I hope you guys watched it.
The Rise. It's so incredible. I learned so much about
all those athletes and all those sports in every one
of those episodes, and then her next idea was to
(29:40):
do more in depth, you know, single athlete documentary every
episode series mini series with Roku, you know, in separate verticals.
She was looking at their documentary space, their unscripted space,
and I was looking at their future film space, and frankly,
(30:05):
knowing what was coming, you know, after the twenty twenty
four election, knowing that everything the expert economists said was true,
we knew the economy was going to get really hard
for people. We kept joking. I mean, not that it
was funny, but being like gas is about to get
so expensive, people aren't going to be able to afford
to go to the movies. It was really important for
both of us to put our producing hats on and
(30:27):
make content that was accessible for families for free. And
so I was off making Broad Trip, my film with
Lauren Holly that came out in May on Roku while
she was pitching this, and then this got picked up
by Roku for unscripted. So I like, get a FaceTime
and the executives on my movie or talking to her executives,
(30:49):
and I'm like, this is crazy anyway, very sweet, felt
very kismet, and it was really cool to then hear
because I'm I'm really an easdropper, but if I'm in
the room, I'm going to listen to the zoom you're
on obviously, and to hear them say, you know, with
everything you shared with us across our pitch meetings, We've
(31:13):
had our internal conversations, we want the first story to
be your story. And she was kind of like what,
so I knew so many parts of her story, but
there's something about such an amazing documentary crew, such an
incredible director, you know, going home and gathering all the research,
(31:40):
all the photos, you know, hearing Ants and Dornce talk
about her, hearing about what it's like to you know,
be chosen to be the backup for the best goalkeeper ever.
So like, okay, you're the second best goalkeeper ever. Like what.
It's such a crazy place to be in and to
(32:05):
watch someone sit with what it is to have a
lifelong passion, to have that passion dinged by injury, and
to have this whole, very public athletic life with this
whole thing happening underneath that nobody knew about. I knew
(32:26):
those stories, but to see them tied together the way
they were. While I've been working on the same process
for myself with my book, to see how sometimes what
you go through that home, what you learn by osmosis
as a child. The way it follows you and affects
you for so long in your life mirrors into your
(32:49):
own everything. It's really profound, and it's been really beautiful too,
to feel like through this project for her and this
project I'm working on for me, we're connecting even more dots.
I think it's a way to see and love a
(33:11):
person even more deeply. And I'm really grateful that I've
been with her through this process because I love her
more and I think her being with me through my
process is helping me, you know, learn to love myself
more as well, which is beautiful. Oh Maya has a
(33:36):
really good question. Oh my goodness, would you ever do
a one woman show like Cynthia or Reeve I just
did in London? Okay, so you saw me post about
Cynthia and Dracula. I have never in my life seen
such a thing. I would love to work with Kip Williams.
(34:00):
I would love to do something like that. And I
don't think I could do that for sixteen weeks like
she did. I don't. Maybe I could, you know, maybe
if I really went underground for long enough to store
up the energy to do it and then did the
(34:20):
same afterwards. Part of me is like, I think I
think I could do like eight weeks of that after
all the weeks of rehearsal. I don't know if I
could do sixteen weeks. I don't know. Maybe I have
to try. But oh, my goodness, what a feat. I mean,
just what an incredible feat of artistry. Unreal. Okay, sorry,
(34:50):
I love the last one. It's so good. Alex. Have
you ever been mistaken for another celebrity? Here's what's funny. No,
And I've come to learn apparently it's because of my voice.
Because even if someone sees me and has a moment
(35:11):
where they're trying to figure out why I'm familiar, once
I reply, they know and they say it's it's my
voice that makes the final aha click. I even had
that experience during COVID when we were all masking, people
would hear my voice and know it was me behind
(35:31):
the mask. So I don't know, guys, I don't think
I'm I don't think I'm gonna get away with it.
Thanks for joining today. This has just been so much fun.
Your questions are wonderful. Keep sending them in. We'll try
to we'll try to get to these a little more often.
I really enjoy this time with you all. Have a
(35:52):
great week, Fam and happy Pride.
Host
Sophia Bush
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Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.