May 5, 2026 • 30 mins
When you are in a situation that is uncomfortable or unwanted — a job, a relationship, a season of grief or pain — the tendency is to push that experience away.
You look for a way out.
You look for a solution.
You look for a quick fix.
You look for an escape door.
But this event or experience has something it wants to show you. It is teaching you.
Picture this event in your life as a loving friend, leaning in to whisper something important. Something intimate.
Something you might be afraid to hear…
But something that will change your life forever.
Will you listen? Or will you plug your ears?
Send Ally an email: mystory@writeyourstory.com
Host: Ally Fallon // @allyfallon // allisonfallon.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, and welcome to you to Write your Story podcast.
Good job.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Really pick up the pieces of your life, pull them
back together with the word you write. All the beauty
and peace and the magic that you'll start too fun
when you write your story. You got the words and said,
don't you think it's down to let them out and
write them down and cover what it's all about and
(00:28):
write you write your story. Write you write your story.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Hi, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast.
I'm Ali Fallon. I'm your host and on this week's episode, Wow,
I have so much to share, I don't even really
know where to start there. First of all, are so
many updates to offer you. And I also really want
to talk about this idea that your life is always
speaking to you because I believe this with every fiber
(00:57):
of my being. I believe it to my very core.
It is what got me into this work in the
first place. I never started doing the work that I
do because I wanted to get people published. I started
doing the work that I do and even just writing
for myself because it was my lifeline. It was the
way that I could listen to what my life was
trying to say to me. It's the way that I
could access my own wisdom, my own intuition, my own
(01:19):
inner knowing, my own sense of direction, of clarity, of purpose,
of calm, like all of it. Writing for me has
always been a way a form of meditation since I
was young. I remember doing this since I was in
fourth grade. I was literally handed a composition notebook from
my fourth grade teacher, thank you, missus Gillespie at West
(01:41):
Union Elementary School in Hillsboro, Oregon. When I was in
fourth grade. She handed me this composition notebook at the
end of the school year and just told my mom,
your daughter's a very gifted writer. Tell her to keep writing.
And I wrote in that composition notebook all summer. Then
I asked my mom to get me a new one,
and ever since then, I have been writing and writing
and writing and writing my little heart out. And I
(02:03):
have fallen in and out of this habit, you know,
over the years, depending on what's going on in my life.
It's very easy to fall out of the habit. But
every single time that I come back to the practice
of writing, I'm reminded what a powerful tool this is.
Not just for every single time I come back to
the practice of writing, I'm reminded what an absolutely powerful
tool this is not just for not even for publishing
(02:28):
something that is secondary. And it's fine. There's nothing wrong
with wanting to be published, or publishing something, or sharing
your work more broadly with the world. It's more about
that writing is a powerful tool for accessing your own
truest self, for accessing that wisdom that lives within you,
(02:49):
that can show you the way out of a sticky situation,
that can you know, uncover or extrapolate what you need
to do next, or what your life is trying to
show you the lessons that are coming in through your experiences.
And when you use this tool, you open up that access.
It's like a portal. And when you turn away from
(03:12):
this tool, which is so easy to do, because sometimes
writing seems like the extra thing, the luxury thing that
we do when we happen to have time to do it.
When we turn away from the tool, we oftentimes can
miss what it is that our life is trying to
say to us. And this lesson feels more pressing to
me right now than it has felt in a very
long time. Because the update that I'll share with you
(03:32):
is that I have moved out of my home. I
am more certain than ever that it is the mold
in my house that is causing me to be sick.
More than likely, it's the mold in my house that
has caused so many of the health issues that I've
had over the last couple of years, including the back
to back respiratory infections, including the cardiac issues, including the
(03:53):
neurological stuff, the tingling numbs in my feet and my hands,
including I think the miscarriages, the early pregnancy failures, and
I think it's all been mold in my house, and
so I have. In the last six days, I've moved
out of my house. We're now making arrangements for my
(04:13):
husband and my kids to be moved out of the house.
And one thing that happened for me is I shared
this information on Instagram. I shared the update which I
have already shared here about discovering that it was mold.
I shared this update on Instagram, and I did not
expect the response that I received on Instagram, which was
just an utter onslaught of people saying me too, essentially
(04:36):
that this has happened to them, or they know someone
that this has happened to, or you know, they saw
my face and instantly they knew it was mold or
you know, all of these symptoms are symptoms that they've
had and they've not known what to do about it,
and asking questions like how do I get tested for
mold and how do I get someone to come inspect
my house from mold? And I just didn't know. I
felt like this mold issue that I was dealing with
(04:57):
was a very niche thing that you know, I'm over
here in my little silo dealing with this mold problem,
and I didn't really think that there were that many
people out there who would understand. And of course I
put the story out there on Instagram, and all of
a sudden, there's like hundreds of people in my comments
saying raising their hands, saying yes, you know this has
happened to me or someone that I know, and sharing
(05:18):
useful resources and saying thank you so much for sharing
your story because it makes me feel less alone. And
I just was reminded that the sharing of our stories
is so important for so many reasons. Again, when you
access a tool like writing about your life, it doesn't
have to be sharing on social media, is my point.
(05:40):
You can share on social media, but it doesn't have
to be that. It can just be sharing the story
with yourself opens up the portal for you to receive
the lessons that your life is trying to offer you,
for you to receive your own innate wisdom, for you
to receive your own creative energy, your creative power, your
(06:02):
creative force. And I think oftentimes we're blocking this out,
or maybe just not attuned to it is a better
way to say it. I think, you know, out of it.
There is a defense mechanism where we block out our
own wisdom, we block out our creativity because you know,
Marian Williamson says that we're much more afraid of our
own power and our own strength than we are of
(06:24):
anything else, and so I think that's one reason why
we block this out. But I also think just life
gets the best of us. I have been in this
house having symptoms, you know, that started with respiratory symptoms,
moved to the cardiac symptoms, and then evolved into the
neurological symptoms, and in the intermittent in there, we're all
(06:45):
the pregnancy and hormonal symptoms as well. And I've been
experiencing that. I've been experiencing brain fog, experiencing confusion, my
cognition has not been working as well as I'm used
to it working, and so to even put my brain
on solving this problem has felt impossible. And the only
times I've really felt better, I did not put this
(07:06):
together until, you know, the most recent time that I
moved out. But the only times that I have felt
better is when I've gone away, when I've gone back
to organ to visit my family, when I went to
Montana for yoga teacher training, when I took my kids
to Seattle. My husband was working there, and so you know,
we had a free place to stay. I took my
kids to Seattle and we did the aquarium, and we
went on the ferris wheel on the waterfront, and we
(07:26):
wandered all through the Pike's Place Market, and we spent
I don't know, four or five days in Seattle. And
I was feeling better then too. I didn't put it
together that every single time I was feeling good, it's
because I was leaving my house. And this most recent
time that I've left the house, I can't say that
I feel one hundred percent better at all. In fact,
I think I'm experiencing some detox and die off symptoms
(07:49):
from the mold. But I am realizing that in the
moments when my cognition is clearer, and in the moments
when I'm connected again to myself, I am reminded of
what it feels like to have an experience in your
life that is unwanted, more or less unwanted. It's like this,
I wish this wasn't happening. Why is this happening to me?
(08:10):
Why you know this is horrible? I wish this wasn't happening.
I wish there was a way that I could avoid this.
And instead of avoiding it, I sink more deeply into
the experience, and I listen, and I'm attuned to what
my life is trying to show me, and all of
a sudden it opens up. It's like, what is your
life trying to tell you right now? Ali, your life
is trying to say slow down. I'll tell you this
(08:32):
one quick story. My mother in law is an actual
angel on earth. She is truly one of my favorite
people that I've ever met, and I love her so much.
And I know that's an uncommon story to hear but
a mother in law, but she really is truly just
that wonderful, and she's a person who has evolved so
much over the years. I feel like some people reach
(08:52):
a certain age and just kind of decide this is
who they are, and they don't change. My mother in
law is always seeking to grow. She's always seeking to
you know, improve as a person. And she's always doing
her work. She's going to therapy, she's going to her
recovery meetings. She's just such an amazing person. She's always
reading and meditating and poetry and music. And she came
(09:13):
back from her ACA meeting this weekend and was telling
me this story that someone shared and it has really
made an impact, so I'm going to share it here too.
She said. This woman was meeting with a younger woman
who she mentors, and the younger woman was saying, you know,
just like we all do. It's like, this is happening
to me, and this is happening to me, and so
and so said this, and so and said that, and
(09:36):
this is not fair, and you know, telling like explaining
the whole drama of what's going on in her life.
And they're sitting at breakfast and she's like, so what
do I do? And the older woman looks at her
and says, just eat your toast, and my mother in
law shared the story with me, saying, like, what an
amazing lesson for you in this time, and I'm receiving
this fully. Just eat your toast. It's like all you
(09:59):
can do is all you can do. And I think
that's part of what my life is trying to show
me right now, that I can get utterly lost and
overwhelmed and swallowed up by the thousands of pieces of
advice and by the thousands of pieces of input, and
by the many millions of different directions that I could
go and the rabbit holes I could fall down, and
(10:19):
the things that you know, Google tells me to do,
and Reddit tells me to do, and people on Instagram,
and all these pieces of advice could be good pieces
of advice. There's you know, so many important pieces of
input that are coming in, but you could get absolutely
swallowed up by all of those pieces of input. But
(10:42):
you could get absolutely swallowed up by all of these
pieces of input. And I think one of the things
that my life is trying to say to me right
now is just eat your toast. Alli, Just do what's
in front of you. Just focus on the next right thing.
And this is also in large which part about learning
to trust myself and my own intuition and my own
(11:03):
inner wisdom, because, like I was mentioning, you can really
easily get pulled in all these different directions. I have
been referred to a thousand different practitioners by a thousand
different people, and I've reached out to many of them
because I'm just a researcher. I love learning about my body.
I love learning, honestly, any topic, Give me any topic.
This is part of what makes me good at the
(11:23):
job that I do. I have helped people write books
about health and wellness. I've helped pastors write books. I've
helped real estate agents write book books. I've helped a
commercial real estate agent. I've helped anybody who's learning about
any or anybody who's writing about anything. I'm like, I'm
down to learn about this. I find it so fascinating.
Bring me on board, and I will learn about your
topic and I will help you write your book. So
(11:45):
it makes me very good at what I do that
I love to learn. And I also can very easily
get stuck learning so much information about a topic that
I'm just bogged down by information and don't know how
to take my next debts and so I have all
(12:10):
these people sending me to all these different practitioners who
are absolute experts in their field. I'm learning as much
as I can from each one of them because I
just find that fascinating and that works for me. But
it is really easy to get bogged down and overwhelmed
by all of these things. And so you know, there's
all of these different options and opportunities available. And one
particular practitioner, I was talking to her about the program
(12:32):
that she offers and I ultimately decided not to work
with her, but she was saying to me, you know,
I'm so worried that you're gonna because you don't have
access to this information. I'm worried you're going to hire
the wrong person or make the same mistakes that I did.
And I just really want to help. And I had
this moment where I was feeling really sucked into that
anxiety spiral of oh my god, I am I'm going
(12:52):
to make the wrong choices. I'm going to waste all
this money, and I had to go hold on. Part
of what your life is trying to say to you
right now, Ali, is to trust yourself. Part of what
this unique set of circumstances is trying to invite in
you is a reminder that you are your own best ally,
(13:15):
that your inner wisdom is going to be guiding you
at every single step of the way. And it doesn't
mean you can't learn from experts, and it doesn't mean
you can't take information from people. But I do really
easily get sucked in by people who I perceive as
having more information than I do. I am really impressed
by intellect. I'm really impressed by someone who's a good communicator,
(13:36):
And especially as my cognition is moving slower, I feel
myself almost like latching on or being drawn toward people
who are like seem to have about the answers. That's
been true my whole life, and I've felt this moment
of clarity where I was like, wait, a second. Part
of what's happening right now is you're being asked to
(13:56):
avoid jumping on the train of someone else, jumping on
the train of someone else's intellect or someone else's expertise.
Part of what's being invited for you is for you
to really trust your own inner wisdom, your own inner guidance.
And what I did is I picked up the artist's
way I was reminded of this because my brother in law.
(14:18):
I'm over at my mother in law's house and so
I'm spending a lot of time with her, and my
brother in law pops over to hang out and we
all live in the same like you know, five block radius,
and so he comes over and hang out and he
was like asking me about the Artist Way, and I'm like, ugh,
it's the best in the world, Like you should get
a copy. I was like, I'll give you my copy,
and so I run over to my house to grab
my copy of the Artist's Way and I'm about to
(14:39):
give it to him, and I'm like, wait a second,
I want to do the Artist Way. And I'm like,
we should all do the Artists Way together. I'm like,
let's order more copies. My mother in law will do it,
and my brother in law will do it, and my
husband wants to do it, and so anyways, so we
get this idea that we're all going to do it together.
And this all happens very serendipitously. But I am holding
this book in my hands. I'm just reminded of what
(15:01):
a powerful tool morning pages are, that writing is this
amazing tool to reconnect you to your own inner wisdom.
This is happening all in synchronicity, all at the same
time where I'm moving out of my house, I'm over
here have this serendipitous conversation with Luke and he's wanting
to do artists way, and I grab the artist's way,
and I'm like, we should all do this together. And
(15:24):
then I'm doing my morning pages and I'm like, oh yeah,
Now I'm reconnected to my own inner power, my own
inner wisdom, my own inner source of information. And I
am not saying that I'm not going to trust an
expert who knows more than I do, But I am
saying I don't need to latch onto someone who I
perceive as being more powerful than me, because guess what
the power is inside of me. And this is something
(15:46):
that my life is teaching me right now, and I
would have missed it if I wasn't going through this
set of unwanted circumstances. So this is the theme of
today's episode. This is the message that I wanted to
share with you, This is the message that I'm sharing
with myself right now. Is that it is tempting to
(16:07):
think that whatever you need is outside of you, that
you need to sign up for some program, or you
need to find some expert, or you need to go
to some place or meet some person, or have some
experience or go on and retreat or those things are
all fine and well and good, and they can be
really amazing resources sometimes, just like Julia Cameron's Artist's Way
(16:27):
is an amazing resource. But Julia Cameron's Artist's Way is
a free resource that was already sitting in my house.
That is such low hanging fruit that I didn't need
to strive for, and I didn't need to achieve for,
and I didn't need to drum up thousands of dollars for,
and I didn't even need to go beyond the walls
of my current existence. It was just right there. It
(16:49):
was within my reach. And it's very serendipitous. And I
can use that as a tool to access where the
real power is and where the real truth is, which
is inside of my own self. It's inside of my
own well of wisdom and of creativity and of power.
And again, my life circumstances right now are trying to
point me back to that. And I would have missed
(17:12):
it if I wasn't tuned in, if I wasn't listening
if I wasn't paying attention. This idea that your life
is always speaking to you is truer than anything else
that I know how to say in the whole world.
And yet it's extremely easy to miss when you are
going through the motions of your life, when you're fulfilling
your responsibilities, you're fulfilling your obligations, you're jumping through the hoops,
(17:36):
You're you know, meeting the expectations of people around you,
which is perfectly understandable and perfectly regular and perfectly normal
and perfectly human thing to do. So I'm not saying,
you know, give everyone the middle finger and stop, you know,
stop doing all those things like I'm not saying stops
showing up to your job. I'm not saying stop taking
(17:58):
care of your kids, or stop you know, taking care
of your family. I'm not saying to quit everything. I
am suggesting that maybe if your life is all about
responsibilities and obligations and doing the same things over and
over again, you might need to shake things up a
little bit in order to hear what it is that
your life is trying to tell you. And I will
tell you the one most effective tool that I have
(18:20):
used over and over and over again in my life
since the time I was in fourth grade. Is the
tool of writing things down. I wrote about this in
the Power of Writing It Down. I wrote about this,
and write your story. Julia Cameron's Morning Pages are all
about this. I pulled out the Artists Way again and
I've been reading it, and as I'm reading it, I'm like,
oh my gosh, Literally everything that I teach is I'm
(18:42):
just a brainchild of Julia Cameron. I just have learned
so much and gained so much from doing her program
over and over again. I think the first time I
did her program, I was like maybe twenty years old,
and I've done it at least ten times since then,
and for many years of my life have been in
the habit of doing morning pages every single morning. And
when you enter in to an activity like morning Pages,
(19:05):
you are simply recording what's happening to you, and you're
looking in the mirror of your life and you're reflecting
on what is unfolding in the events of your daily life.
It's really not more complicated than that. But again, when
you get in the routine of your life and you're
going through the motions and you're doing the things, and
you're jumping through the hoops, it's very easy to miss
(19:29):
what is actually going on. And I would say that
the most fruitful place to start if you want to
write about what's happening to you, and where morning pages
will often take you is the most painful thing that's
going on in your life. So this is where chronic pain,
emotional pain, grief, loss, despair, depression, anxiety, frustration, relationship troubles,
(19:52):
you know, job troubles, money problems. Those are the things
that are taking place in our life that we're really
here's what's happening. I think you're desperate to look for
a way out of the pain, and I think what
the pain is often saying to us is I won't
let you out until you really feel what I'm here
(20:16):
to show you or what I'm here to teach you.
I won't let you out until you really feel what
I'm here to show you or what I'm here to
teach you. And this is true in the circumstances that
(20:40):
I'm going through too. I just met with a doctor
this morning, a functional medicine practitioner who I love and trust,
and I've been seeing her for a long time, who
is walking me through a mold detox protocol, and she's like,
I want to tell you, like, this is great news
that we figured out what's going on. And that's the
good news is that we do have an answer. The
bad news is this is going to be you know,
(21:01):
somewhere between six and eighteen months of detox and you
will start feeling better, but it's not going to be immediate,
and you need to be really consistent with this protocol.
We got to stay on it for a long time.
This is not going to be an overnight transformation. And
I think that this is the hard truth that each
of us need to hear about whatever it is that
you're going through, is you want a quick fix, You
(21:23):
want an easy out to whatever it is that you're experiencing,
whatever kind of pain right now that you are specifically experiencing,
whether that's you're going through, you know, a relationship problem
that is causing you stress. Maybe there's distress in your marriage,
or maybe there's distress in a sibling relationship, or maybe
with a parent, or maybe you lost someone that you
(21:44):
love and you're grieving, or maybe you're going through a
health issue like I am, it's mold, or it's mcass,
or it's sers or it's I don't know, any of
the thousands of things that it could be, lives or anything,
chronic pain, chronic stress. Maybe it's more work related. You
feel like your work doesn't have a lot of purpose
in it right now. You're just going to work and
(22:07):
earning a paycheck because you have to, because you feel
you don't have another way out. Whatever it is for
you right now that's causing you the most physical or
emotional pain, or both physical and emotional pain, whatever that
is for you right now, you wish that there was
something you could do. You could wave a magic wand
and you could fix it, and you could be out
(22:29):
of the pain. And I think what the pain is
saying to me at least, and I can't speak for you,
but what I will offer to you is that maybe
the pain is saying, I can't let you out of
this situation until you really see what I've brought you
here to show you. And one really effective way to
see what the pain has brought you here to show
(22:50):
you is to tune in and to listen. And one
great way to do that is through the act of
writing down what's happening to you and This is not
my first rodeo. It's not my first time going through
a life altering set of circumstances. It's not my first
time dealing with chronic pain. Even I had chronic symptoms
that cropped up in my late teens and early twenties
(23:11):
that were debilitating in life altering, and I spent forever
trying to figure out what was going on with me.
And I eventually found a nutritionist and I went gluten
free before anyone else was going gluten free. This was
not a time when everyone was gluten free. This was
like before anyone had even heard of gluten free. And
I was, you know, taking all these homeopathic supplements and
I was, you know, doing the thing. And I did
(23:32):
eventually start to feel better, but it was years and
years of struggling. And then it wasn't until twenty nineteen,
right before I got married to Matt, that I started
meeting with a therapist who was doing EMDR with me,
and we were working through the physicality of some of
these symptoms, and I was writing about it and I
was meditating, and suddenly I was able to start eating
(23:54):
some of these foods again. That was like between twenty
sixteen and twenty nineteen, I was able to reintegrate almost
every single food back into my diet without having these
horrific symptoms, including gluten. I was able to eat gluten
again starting in about I don't know, late twenty nineteen
or early twenty twenty. My point is that there is
(24:14):
no quick fix, or if there is a quick fix,
it's probably just making the problem worse, but that these
events in our lives are always inviting us deeper. And
I'm reminded of that again with this mold situation, that
the events of our lives are always inviting us deeper,
and we can either go deeper or we can say
(24:36):
no thanks, and we can take a pill, you know,
either literally or metaphorically speaking, take a pill to make
it go away. And nothing wrong with taking a pill.
Let me tell you, The anxiety that has come with
what is either mass sell activation or the mold or
some combination of both, has been unlike any anxiety I
(24:57):
have ever experienced in my life before. It's so fas physical.
My body just completely just boycotts whatever is going on,
and I really do feel like I'm having a heart attack,
and so, you know, I finally saw a psychiatrist and
was like, I Uncle, like I need something for this,
Like I just I'm not gonna take it every day,
(25:18):
but I just need something that I can take when
I'm having these episodes that can help me feel like
a normal person again. And she wrote me a script
and I've been using that as needed. And also, you know,
when I first learned about mass sell activation, I was
also seeing this viral trend on Instagram about taking a
leground pepsidac at the same time to help reduce your
(25:40):
histamine issues, and that has also helped me a lot.
So I'm not saying that I'm anti anti pharmaceuticals or
that I you know, there's never a moment to take
a pill. All I'm saying is that you can either
mask and numb the pain that you're feeling physical or
emotional pain, or you can accept and receive what this
(26:01):
physical or emotional pain is here to show you. And
writing is an amazing tool that is at your fingertips
that can allow you to soften into what this situation
is here to teach you. And I think part of
what the situation is here to teach me is to
slow way down. Part of what it's here to teach
me is to stop relying so much on my intellect
(26:22):
and to start relying more on my heart, on sensation,
on the body. I have lived so much of my life.
I'm a Gemini through and through. I also was raised
by a very intellectual father who taught me how to
think my way out of almost every set of circumstances.
I was just born this way. I'm interested in learning
(26:44):
about everything. I can intellectualize my way out of almost
any problem, and I think that has served me in
some ways in my life, and it has also hindered
me in other ways in my life. And I think
part of what this situation is inviting for me is
to say, Hey, your cognition is actually not working that
great right now, So can you stop focusing on getting
(27:05):
the answer right, stop focusing on getting it perfect, stop
focusing on saying it the exact right way and needing
to be right all the time, and needing to have
it down, having the intellectual part down. It's like, we've
done that. That's fine, it's all well and good. But
can you move out of your cognition and move into
your heart and let yourself feel the pain that you're feeling,
feel the loss, feel the grief, feel the despair, feel
(27:28):
the powerlessness, and learn from what that's trying to teach
you too. So I think my life is asking me
to slow down. I think my life is asking me
to stop intellectualizing everything. I think my life is asking
me to eat my toast, just do the next right
thing instead of needing to have this elaborate, long term plan.
(27:49):
Can I just take the next step, and can I
let that be enough for me? I think my life
is asking me to go inside, to stop reaching outside
for answers, and to start reaching inside, to start trusting myself.
And I can. I can proudly say I can happily
say I am doing that that I have had these
moments where I'm so tempted to go, you know, forget it,
(28:12):
I just want someone to tell me what to do.
I am trusting myself. I'm really really taking these moments
to say, this is the next right thing that I've
decided to do for me in this situation. And I'm
really going internally and trusting my own inner wisdom. And
I can also proudly say that I am, as evidenced
(28:34):
from this episode from what I'm sharing on Instagram, I'm
really trying to live from freedom instead of to live
from perfection. You can tell I'm sure that this is
not a highly polished episode. It's not a highly researched episode.
That's intentional, and it's been intentional for this entire show,
but it's also just becoming I hope you can hear
(28:54):
that it's becoming more and more intentional. I'm not coming
from a place of perfection, but i am coming from
a place of a lot of love. And I'm teaching
this to myself right now, and I'm speaking from my
highest truth as far as I can access it in
this moment, and I hope you find that helpful, and
I hope that you hope it resonates with you in
(29:17):
the way that it's resonating with me. I'm just you know,
I'm doing my best. I'm doing what I can. I'm
living as openly and honestly as I know how, and
I hope it inspires you to also listen to your
own life. I would love to hear from you. Find
me on Instagram at alifallon ally falln Send me an
(29:38):
email at mystory I write yourstory dot com. Tell me
what you feel like your life is trying to teach
you or show you right now, Share with me what
is coming up for you. Share with me what you're trying.
We are in this together. We are not alone. Our
job is to love each other and to hold each
other close, and to walk each other home. So I'm
(29:59):
here in this with you. I'm sending you all the
love and I will see you back next week on
The Writer Story podcast
Hi, and welcome to you to Write your Story podcast.
Good job.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Really pick up the pieces of your life, pull them
back together with the word you write. All the beauty
and peace and the magic that you'll start too fun
when you write your story. You got the words and said,
don't you think it's down to let them out and
write them down and cover what it's all about and
(00:28):
write you write your story. Write you write your story.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Hi, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast.
I'm Ali Fallon. I'm your host and on this week's episode, Wow,
I have so much to share, I don't even really
know where to start there. First of all, are so
many updates to offer you. And I also really want
to talk about this idea that your life is always
speaking to you because I believe this with every fiber
(00:57):
of my being. I believe it to my very core.
It is what got me into this work in the
first place. I never started doing the work that I
do because I wanted to get people published. I started
doing the work that I do and even just writing
for myself because it was my lifeline. It was the
way that I could listen to what my life was
trying to say to me. It's the way that I
could access my own wisdom, my own intuition, my own
(01:19):
inner knowing, my own sense of direction, of clarity, of purpose,
of calm, like all of it. Writing for me has
always been a way a form of meditation since I
was young. I remember doing this since I was in
fourth grade. I was literally handed a composition notebook from
my fourth grade teacher, thank you, missus Gillespie at West
(01:41):
Union Elementary School in Hillsboro, Oregon. When I was in
fourth grade. She handed me this composition notebook at the
end of the school year and just told my mom,
your daughter's a very gifted writer. Tell her to keep writing.
And I wrote in that composition notebook all summer. Then
I asked my mom to get me a new one,
and ever since then, I have been writing and writing
and writing and writing my little heart out. And I
(02:03):
have fallen in and out of this habit, you know,
over the years, depending on what's going on in my life.
It's very easy to fall out of the habit. But
every single time that I come back to the practice
of writing, I'm reminded what a powerful tool this is.
Not just for every single time I come back to
the practice of writing, I'm reminded what an absolutely powerful
tool this is not just for not even for publishing
(02:28):
something that is secondary. And it's fine. There's nothing wrong
with wanting to be published, or publishing something, or sharing
your work more broadly with the world. It's more about
that writing is a powerful tool for accessing your own
truest self, for accessing that wisdom that lives within you,
(02:49):
that can show you the way out of a sticky situation,
that can you know, uncover or extrapolate what you need
to do next, or what your life is trying to
show you the lessons that are coming in through your experiences.
And when you use this tool, you open up that access.
It's like a portal. And when you turn away from
(03:12):
this tool, which is so easy to do, because sometimes
writing seems like the extra thing, the luxury thing that
we do when we happen to have time to do it.
When we turn away from the tool, we oftentimes can
miss what it is that our life is trying to
say to us. And this lesson feels more pressing to
me right now than it has felt in a very
long time. Because the update that I'll share with you
(03:32):
is that I have moved out of my home. I
am more certain than ever that it is the mold
in my house that is causing me to be sick.
More than likely, it's the mold in my house that
has caused so many of the health issues that I've
had over the last couple of years, including the back
to back respiratory infections, including the cardiac issues, including the
(03:53):
neurological stuff, the tingling numbs in my feet and my hands,
including I think the miscarriages, the early pregnancy failures, and
I think it's all been mold in my house, and
so I have. In the last six days, I've moved
out of my house. We're now making arrangements for my
(04:13):
husband and my kids to be moved out of the house.
And one thing that happened for me is I shared
this information on Instagram. I shared the update which I
have already shared here about discovering that it was mold.
I shared this update on Instagram, and I did not
expect the response that I received on Instagram, which was
just an utter onslaught of people saying me too, essentially
(04:36):
that this has happened to them, or they know someone
that this has happened to, or you know, they saw
my face and instantly they knew it was mold or
you know, all of these symptoms are symptoms that they've
had and they've not known what to do about it,
and asking questions like how do I get tested for
mold and how do I get someone to come inspect
my house from mold? And I just didn't know. I
felt like this mold issue that I was dealing with
(04:57):
was a very niche thing that you know, I'm over
here in my little silo dealing with this mold problem,
and I didn't really think that there were that many
people out there who would understand. And of course I
put the story out there on Instagram, and all of
a sudden, there's like hundreds of people in my comments
saying raising their hands, saying yes, you know this has
happened to me or someone that I know, and sharing
(05:18):
useful resources and saying thank you so much for sharing
your story because it makes me feel less alone. And
I just was reminded that the sharing of our stories
is so important for so many reasons. Again, when you
access a tool like writing about your life, it doesn't
have to be sharing on social media, is my point.
(05:40):
You can share on social media, but it doesn't have
to be that. It can just be sharing the story
with yourself opens up the portal for you to receive
the lessons that your life is trying to offer you,
for you to receive your own innate wisdom, for you
to receive your own creative energy, your creative power, your
(06:02):
creative force. And I think oftentimes we're blocking this out,
or maybe just not attuned to it is a better
way to say it. I think, you know, out of it.
There is a defense mechanism where we block out our
own wisdom, we block out our creativity because you know,
Marian Williamson says that we're much more afraid of our
own power and our own strength than we are of
(06:24):
anything else, and so I think that's one reason why
we block this out. But I also think just life
gets the best of us. I have been in this
house having symptoms, you know, that started with respiratory symptoms,
moved to the cardiac symptoms, and then evolved into the
neurological symptoms, and in the intermittent in there, we're all
(06:45):
the pregnancy and hormonal symptoms as well. And I've been
experiencing that. I've been experiencing brain fog, experiencing confusion, my
cognition has not been working as well as I'm used
to it working, and so to even put my brain
on solving this problem has felt impossible. And the only
times I've really felt better, I did not put this
(07:06):
together until, you know, the most recent time that I
moved out. But the only times that I have felt
better is when I've gone away, when I've gone back
to organ to visit my family, when I went to
Montana for yoga teacher training, when I took my kids
to Seattle. My husband was working there, and so you know,
we had a free place to stay. I took my
kids to Seattle and we did the aquarium, and we
went on the ferris wheel on the waterfront, and we
(07:26):
wandered all through the Pike's Place Market, and we spent
I don't know, four or five days in Seattle. And
I was feeling better then too. I didn't put it
together that every single time I was feeling good, it's
because I was leaving my house. And this most recent
time that I've left the house, I can't say that
I feel one hundred percent better at all. In fact,
I think I'm experiencing some detox and die off symptoms
(07:49):
from the mold. But I am realizing that in the
moments when my cognition is clearer, and in the moments
when I'm connected again to myself, I am reminded of
what it feels like to have an experience in your
life that is unwanted, more or less unwanted. It's like this,
I wish this wasn't happening. Why is this happening to me?
(08:10):
Why you know this is horrible? I wish this wasn't happening.
I wish there was a way that I could avoid this.
And instead of avoiding it, I sink more deeply into
the experience, and I listen, and I'm attuned to what
my life is trying to show me, and all of
a sudden it opens up. It's like, what is your
life trying to tell you right now? Ali, your life
is trying to say slow down. I'll tell you this
(08:32):
one quick story. My mother in law is an actual
angel on earth. She is truly one of my favorite
people that I've ever met, and I love her so much.
And I know that's an uncommon story to hear but
a mother in law, but she really is truly just
that wonderful, and she's a person who has evolved so
much over the years. I feel like some people reach
(08:52):
a certain age and just kind of decide this is
who they are, and they don't change. My mother in
law is always seeking to grow. She's always seeking to
you know, improve as a person. And she's always doing
her work. She's going to therapy, she's going to her
recovery meetings. She's just such an amazing person. She's always
reading and meditating and poetry and music. And she came
(09:13):
back from her ACA meeting this weekend and was telling
me this story that someone shared and it has really
made an impact, so I'm going to share it here too.
She said. This woman was meeting with a younger woman
who she mentors, and the younger woman was saying, you know,
just like we all do. It's like, this is happening
to me, and this is happening to me, and so
and so said this, and so and said that, and
(09:36):
this is not fair, and you know, telling like explaining
the whole drama of what's going on in her life.
And they're sitting at breakfast and she's like, so what
do I do? And the older woman looks at her
and says, just eat your toast, and my mother in
law shared the story with me, saying, like, what an
amazing lesson for you in this time, and I'm receiving
this fully. Just eat your toast. It's like all you
(09:59):
can do is all you can do. And I think
that's part of what my life is trying to show
me right now, that I can get utterly lost and
overwhelmed and swallowed up by the thousands of pieces of
advice and by the thousands of pieces of input, and
by the many millions of different directions that I could
go and the rabbit holes I could fall down, and
(10:19):
the things that you know, Google tells me to do,
and Reddit tells me to do, and people on Instagram,
and all these pieces of advice could be good pieces
of advice. There's you know, so many important pieces of
input that are coming in, but you could get absolutely
swallowed up by all of those pieces of input. But
(10:42):
you could get absolutely swallowed up by all of these
pieces of input. And I think one of the things
that my life is trying to say to me right
now is just eat your toast. Alli, Just do what's
in front of you. Just focus on the next right thing.
And this is also in large which part about learning
to trust myself and my own intuition and my own
(11:03):
inner wisdom, because, like I was mentioning, you can really
easily get pulled in all these different directions. I have
been referred to a thousand different practitioners by a thousand
different people, and I've reached out to many of them
because I'm just a researcher. I love learning about my body.
I love learning, honestly, any topic, Give me any topic.
This is part of what makes me good at the
(11:23):
job that I do. I have helped people write books
about health and wellness. I've helped pastors write books. I've
helped real estate agents write book books. I've helped a
commercial real estate agent. I've helped anybody who's learning about
any or anybody who's writing about anything. I'm like, I'm
down to learn about this. I find it so fascinating.
Bring me on board, and I will learn about your
topic and I will help you write your book. So
(11:45):
it makes me very good at what I do that
I love to learn. And I also can very easily
get stuck learning so much information about a topic that
I'm just bogged down by information and don't know how
to take my next debts and so I have all
(12:10):
these people sending me to all these different practitioners who
are absolute experts in their field. I'm learning as much
as I can from each one of them because I
just find that fascinating and that works for me. But
it is really easy to get bogged down and overwhelmed
by all of these things. And so you know, there's
all of these different options and opportunities available. And one
particular practitioner, I was talking to her about the program
(12:32):
that she offers and I ultimately decided not to work
with her, but she was saying to me, you know,
I'm so worried that you're gonna because you don't have
access to this information. I'm worried you're going to hire
the wrong person or make the same mistakes that I did.
And I just really want to help. And I had
this moment where I was feeling really sucked into that
anxiety spiral of oh my god, I am I'm going
(12:52):
to make the wrong choices. I'm going to waste all
this money, and I had to go hold on. Part
of what your life is trying to say to you
right now, Ali, is to trust yourself. Part of what
this unique set of circumstances is trying to invite in
you is a reminder that you are your own best ally,
(13:15):
that your inner wisdom is going to be guiding you
at every single step of the way. And it doesn't
mean you can't learn from experts, and it doesn't mean
you can't take information from people. But I do really
easily get sucked in by people who I perceive as
having more information than I do. I am really impressed
by intellect. I'm really impressed by someone who's a good communicator,
(13:36):
And especially as my cognition is moving slower, I feel
myself almost like latching on or being drawn toward people
who are like seem to have about the answers. That's
been true my whole life, and I've felt this moment
of clarity where I was like, wait, a second. Part
of what's happening right now is you're being asked to
(13:56):
avoid jumping on the train of someone else, jumping on
the train of someone else's intellect or someone else's expertise.
Part of what's being invited for you is for you
to really trust your own inner wisdom, your own inner guidance.
And what I did is I picked up the artist's
way I was reminded of this because my brother in law.
(14:18):
I'm over at my mother in law's house and so
I'm spending a lot of time with her, and my
brother in law pops over to hang out and we
all live in the same like you know, five block radius,
and so he comes over and hang out and he
was like asking me about the Artist Way, and I'm like, ugh,
it's the best in the world, Like you should get
a copy. I was like, I'll give you my copy,
and so I run over to my house to grab
my copy of the Artist's Way and I'm about to
(14:39):
give it to him, and I'm like, wait a second,
I want to do the Artist Way. And I'm like,
we should all do the Artists Way together. I'm like,
let's order more copies. My mother in law will do it,
and my brother in law will do it, and my
husband wants to do it, and so anyways, so we
get this idea that we're all going to do it together.
And this all happens very serendipitously. But I am holding
this book in my hands. I'm just reminded of what
(15:01):
a powerful tool morning pages are, that writing is this
amazing tool to reconnect you to your own inner wisdom.
This is happening all in synchronicity, all at the same
time where I'm moving out of my house, I'm over
here have this serendipitous conversation with Luke and he's wanting
to do artists way, and I grab the artist's way,
and I'm like, we should all do this together. And
(15:24):
then I'm doing my morning pages and I'm like, oh yeah,
Now I'm reconnected to my own inner power, my own
inner wisdom, my own inner source of information. And I
am not saying that I'm not going to trust an
expert who knows more than I do, But I am
saying I don't need to latch onto someone who I
perceive as being more powerful than me, because guess what
the power is inside of me. And this is something
(15:46):
that my life is teaching me right now, and I
would have missed it if I wasn't going through this
set of unwanted circumstances. So this is the theme of
today's episode. This is the message that I wanted to
share with you, This is the message that I'm sharing
with myself right now. Is that it is tempting to
(16:07):
think that whatever you need is outside of you, that
you need to sign up for some program, or you
need to find some expert, or you need to go
to some place or meet some person, or have some
experience or go on and retreat or those things are
all fine and well and good, and they can be
really amazing resources sometimes, just like Julia Cameron's Artist's Way
(16:27):
is an amazing resource. But Julia Cameron's Artist's Way is
a free resource that was already sitting in my house.
That is such low hanging fruit that I didn't need
to strive for, and I didn't need to achieve for,
and I didn't need to drum up thousands of dollars for,
and I didn't even need to go beyond the walls
of my current existence. It was just right there. It
(16:49):
was within my reach. And it's very serendipitous. And I
can use that as a tool to access where the
real power is and where the real truth is, which
is inside of my own self. It's inside of my
own well of wisdom and of creativity and of power.
And again, my life circumstances right now are trying to
point me back to that. And I would have missed
(17:12):
it if I wasn't tuned in, if I wasn't listening
if I wasn't paying attention. This idea that your life
is always speaking to you is truer than anything else
that I know how to say in the whole world.
And yet it's extremely easy to miss when you are
going through the motions of your life, when you're fulfilling
your responsibilities, you're fulfilling your obligations, you're jumping through the hoops,
(17:36):
You're you know, meeting the expectations of people around you,
which is perfectly understandable and perfectly regular and perfectly normal
and perfectly human thing to do. So I'm not saying,
you know, give everyone the middle finger and stop, you know,
stop doing all those things like I'm not saying stops
showing up to your job. I'm not saying stop taking
(17:58):
care of your kids, or stop you know, taking care
of your family. I'm not saying to quit everything. I
am suggesting that maybe if your life is all about
responsibilities and obligations and doing the same things over and
over again, you might need to shake things up a
little bit in order to hear what it is that
your life is trying to tell you. And I will
tell you the one most effective tool that I have
(18:20):
used over and over and over again in my life
since the time I was in fourth grade. Is the
tool of writing things down. I wrote about this in
the Power of Writing It Down. I wrote about this,
and write your story. Julia Cameron's Morning Pages are all
about this. I pulled out the Artists Way again and
I've been reading it, and as I'm reading it, I'm like,
oh my gosh, Literally everything that I teach is I'm
(18:42):
just a brainchild of Julia Cameron. I just have learned
so much and gained so much from doing her program
over and over again. I think the first time I
did her program, I was like maybe twenty years old,
and I've done it at least ten times since then,
and for many years of my life have been in
the habit of doing morning pages every single morning. And
when you enter in to an activity like morning Pages,
(19:05):
you are simply recording what's happening to you, and you're
looking in the mirror of your life and you're reflecting
on what is unfolding in the events of your daily life.
It's really not more complicated than that. But again, when
you get in the routine of your life and you're
going through the motions and you're doing the things, and
you're jumping through the hoops, it's very easy to miss
(19:29):
what is actually going on. And I would say that
the most fruitful place to start if you want to
write about what's happening to you, and where morning pages
will often take you is the most painful thing that's
going on in your life. So this is where chronic pain,
emotional pain, grief, loss, despair, depression, anxiety, frustration, relationship troubles,
(19:52):
you know, job troubles, money problems. Those are the things
that are taking place in our life that we're really
here's what's happening. I think you're desperate to look for
a way out of the pain, and I think what
the pain is often saying to us is I won't
let you out until you really feel what I'm here
(20:16):
to show you or what I'm here to teach you.
I won't let you out until you really feel what
I'm here to show you or what I'm here to
teach you. And this is true in the circumstances that
(20:40):
I'm going through too. I just met with a doctor
this morning, a functional medicine practitioner who I love and trust,
and I've been seeing her for a long time, who
is walking me through a mold detox protocol, and she's like,
I want to tell you, like, this is great news
that we figured out what's going on. And that's the
good news is that we do have an answer. The
bad news is this is going to be you know,
(21:01):
somewhere between six and eighteen months of detox and you
will start feeling better, but it's not going to be immediate,
and you need to be really consistent with this protocol.
We got to stay on it for a long time.
This is not going to be an overnight transformation. And
I think that this is the hard truth that each
of us need to hear about whatever it is that
you're going through, is you want a quick fix, You
(21:23):
want an easy out to whatever it is that you're experiencing,
whatever kind of pain right now that you are specifically experiencing,
whether that's you're going through, you know, a relationship problem
that is causing you stress. Maybe there's distress in your marriage,
or maybe there's distress in a sibling relationship, or maybe
with a parent, or maybe you lost someone that you
(21:44):
love and you're grieving, or maybe you're going through a
health issue like I am, it's mold, or it's mcass,
or it's sers or it's I don't know, any of
the thousands of things that it could be, lives or anything,
chronic pain, chronic stress. Maybe it's more work related. You
feel like your work doesn't have a lot of purpose
in it right now. You're just going to work and
(22:07):
earning a paycheck because you have to, because you feel
you don't have another way out. Whatever it is for
you right now that's causing you the most physical or
emotional pain, or both physical and emotional pain, whatever that
is for you right now, you wish that there was
something you could do. You could wave a magic wand
and you could fix it, and you could be out
(22:29):
of the pain. And I think what the pain is
saying to me at least, and I can't speak for you,
but what I will offer to you is that maybe
the pain is saying, I can't let you out of
this situation until you really see what I've brought you
here to show you. And one really effective way to
see what the pain has brought you here to show
(22:50):
you is to tune in and to listen. And one
great way to do that is through the act of
writing down what's happening to you and This is not
my first rodeo. It's not my first time going through
a life altering set of circumstances. It's not my first
time dealing with chronic pain. Even I had chronic symptoms
that cropped up in my late teens and early twenties
(23:11):
that were debilitating in life altering, and I spent forever
trying to figure out what was going on with me.
And I eventually found a nutritionist and I went gluten
free before anyone else was going gluten free. This was
not a time when everyone was gluten free. This was
like before anyone had even heard of gluten free. And
I was, you know, taking all these homeopathic supplements and
I was, you know, doing the thing. And I did
(23:32):
eventually start to feel better, but it was years and
years of struggling. And then it wasn't until twenty nineteen,
right before I got married to Matt, that I started
meeting with a therapist who was doing EMDR with me,
and we were working through the physicality of some of
these symptoms, and I was writing about it and I
was meditating, and suddenly I was able to start eating
(23:54):
some of these foods again. That was like between twenty
sixteen and twenty nineteen, I was able to reintegrate almost
every single food back into my diet without having these
horrific symptoms, including gluten. I was able to eat gluten
again starting in about I don't know, late twenty nineteen
or early twenty twenty. My point is that there is
(24:14):
no quick fix, or if there is a quick fix,
it's probably just making the problem worse, but that these
events in our lives are always inviting us deeper. And
I'm reminded of that again with this mold situation, that
the events of our lives are always inviting us deeper,
and we can either go deeper or we can say
(24:36):
no thanks, and we can take a pill, you know,
either literally or metaphorically speaking, take a pill to make
it go away. And nothing wrong with taking a pill.
Let me tell you, The anxiety that has come with
what is either mass sell activation or the mold or
some combination of both, has been unlike any anxiety I
(24:57):
have ever experienced in my life before. It's so fas physical.
My body just completely just boycotts whatever is going on,
and I really do feel like I'm having a heart attack,
and so, you know, I finally saw a psychiatrist and
was like, I Uncle, like I need something for this,
Like I just I'm not gonna take it every day,
(25:18):
but I just need something that I can take when
I'm having these episodes that can help me feel like
a normal person again. And she wrote me a script
and I've been using that as needed. And also, you know,
when I first learned about mass sell activation, I was
also seeing this viral trend on Instagram about taking a
leground pepsidac at the same time to help reduce your
(25:40):
histamine issues, and that has also helped me a lot.
So I'm not saying that I'm anti anti pharmaceuticals or
that I you know, there's never a moment to take
a pill. All I'm saying is that you can either
mask and numb the pain that you're feeling physical or
emotional pain, or you can accept and receive what this
(26:01):
physical or emotional pain is here to show you. And
writing is an amazing tool that is at your fingertips
that can allow you to soften into what this situation
is here to teach you. And I think part of
what the situation is here to teach me is to
slow way down. Part of what it's here to teach
me is to stop relying so much on my intellect
(26:22):
and to start relying more on my heart, on sensation,
on the body. I have lived so much of my life.
I'm a Gemini through and through. I also was raised
by a very intellectual father who taught me how to
think my way out of almost every set of circumstances.
I was just born this way. I'm interested in learning
(26:44):
about everything. I can intellectualize my way out of almost
any problem, and I think that has served me in
some ways in my life, and it has also hindered
me in other ways in my life. And I think
part of what this situation is inviting for me is
to say, Hey, your cognition is actually not working that
great right now, So can you stop focusing on getting
(27:05):
the answer right, stop focusing on getting it perfect, stop
focusing on saying it the exact right way and needing
to be right all the time, and needing to have
it down, having the intellectual part down. It's like, we've
done that. That's fine, it's all well and good. But
can you move out of your cognition and move into
your heart and let yourself feel the pain that you're feeling,
feel the loss, feel the grief, feel the despair, feel
(27:28):
the powerlessness, and learn from what that's trying to teach
you too. So I think my life is asking me
to slow down. I think my life is asking me
to stop intellectualizing everything. I think my life is asking
me to eat my toast, just do the next right
thing instead of needing to have this elaborate, long term plan.
(27:49):
Can I just take the next step, and can I
let that be enough for me? I think my life
is asking me to go inside, to stop reaching outside
for answers, and to start reaching inside, to start trusting myself.
And I can. I can proudly say I can happily
say I am doing that that I have had these
moments where I'm so tempted to go, you know, forget it,
(28:12):
I just want someone to tell me what to do.
I am trusting myself. I'm really really taking these moments
to say, this is the next right thing that I've
decided to do for me in this situation. And I'm
really going internally and trusting my own inner wisdom. And
I can also proudly say that I am, as evidenced
(28:34):
from this episode from what I'm sharing on Instagram, I'm
really trying to live from freedom instead of to live
from perfection. You can tell I'm sure that this is
not a highly polished episode. It's not a highly researched episode.
That's intentional, and it's been intentional for this entire show,
but it's also just becoming I hope you can hear
(28:54):
that it's becoming more and more intentional. I'm not coming
from a place of perfection, but i am coming from
a place of a lot of love. And I'm teaching
this to myself right now, and I'm speaking from my
highest truth as far as I can access it in
this moment, and I hope you find that helpful, and
I hope that you hope it resonates with you in
(29:17):
the way that it's resonating with me. I'm just you know,
I'm doing my best. I'm doing what I can. I'm
living as openly and honestly as I know how, and
I hope it inspires you to also listen to your
own life. I would love to hear from you. Find
me on Instagram at alifallon ally falln Send me an
(29:38):
email at mystory I write yourstory dot com. Tell me
what you feel like your life is trying to teach
you or show you right now, Share with me what
is coming up for you. Share with me what you're trying.
We are in this together. We are not alone. Our
job is to love each other and to hold each
other close, and to walk each other home. So I'm
(29:59):
here in this with you. I'm sending you all the
love and I will see you back next week on
The Writer Story podcast
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