April 30, 2026 • 43 mins
Most people believe success will fix how they feel, that more money, recognition, or progress will eventually lead to fulfillment. But for many, it doesn’t.
In this episode of You vs You, Rene Mcleen breaks down the gap between external achievement and internal clarity. We explore what happens when you reach levels you once worked toward and still find yourself questioning your identity, direction, and sense of purpose. This conversation focuses on the psychological side of growth, the pressure that comes with evolving, the role of self-worth in decision making, and the difference between building from alignment versus proving something to the world. At a certain point, growth stops being about doing more and becomes about understanding yourself at a deeper level.
Topics Covered Include:
+ Why Success Does Not Guarantee Fulfillment
+ The Difference Between External Validation and Internal Stability
+ Navigating Identity as You Grow
+ Learning to Move Without the Need to Prove Anything
Follow You vs You for more conversations around mindset, discipline, and personal development.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Maybe fake it till you make it. Everybody says that
everything else. At some point in time, you just gotta
cut shit off of me. Just be like how unplugged.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You got to master that giving yourself the permission to unplug,
I think is one of the healthiest things.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You have to unplug because if you don't unplug, you'll unplugged.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
You're like destroyers.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Renee McClain, founder, co managing partner of Influence Media and
CEO of Slang.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
What does panic and chaos do for you? At the
end of the day, creates more?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Sometimes you think is the man and not the chair,
But it's the chair.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I know that, especially where I'm at right now. I'm
in a chair where I can do certain things. And
I sound like a little bit of bullshit, but.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
It is the truth.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Renee, Welcome to you versus you. I'm excited to have
you here. I should. I just said you should be
excited to have me here because I'm in your office.
I was sharing with my team, how you know, I
close one of the biggest deals in my career in
this in this office. And it was also a which
one was that you know, one of many were closed. Uh,
(00:59):
you know for those listening and watching. You know, Renee
and I have a long, extensive relationship of doing amazing
deals together in our entertainment careers, but it was also
the first time that I had come to New York
with who became my current wife and the mother of
my child. And so, believe it or not, your office
(01:20):
has a very sentimental meaning to my life and is
gracious that we're now having this conversation here.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
It's wonderful.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
But that also leads me to ask you, when you
sit here every day, when you come up, when you
look at the name of the company as the elevator
doors open and you sit in the corner in your
boss chair, what does it feel like to see everything
that you've been able to accomplish.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
The one word that comes to my mind is it's
strange because I never actually thought i'd be in this
position of what I'm doing. It's always been a dream
to you know, to be successful. But you know, when
you visualize and it actually becomes an actual reality, it
(02:09):
feels like a little strange and it's like okay, kind
of not like what do I do next, It's like, oh,
I'm here, and now I have to you know, I
have to live up to everything I said I wanted
to do, which becomes you know, that becomes a challenge
(02:29):
and then you know, specifically like with influence. You know,
we've been in business since officially in business as influence,
like in the way it is right now, last five
years I think it is, and it's kind of gone
pretty good by pretty quickly, and it's just been like
(02:52):
I have to stick back sometime and be like, wow, okay,
actually did that? How did I get here? And you're
probably similar experiences with that. Wh when we first started
on your journey to you kind of iterate yourself over
and over again to get to a point where you
(03:12):
can be like, Okay, I've I've kind of hit my
dream and I've got to keep going beyond that as well.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
So it's kind of like strange.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You find it hard because I know I do.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
And the funny why I won't say things, It's funny
like when you get to a certain point, people actually
start training a little different and it's like, Okay, that's.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Cliff top, Like you've reached that place where uh you know,
you know, the air got thinner. Yeah, And while you
could keep going up money wise, like in your mind
you've also just like, okay, I'm at the cliff top here,
and oh when I look down, it looks it there's
only one way down. Is there's only so much you
(03:56):
can climb. And I think for every successful person I've
had on the show, is that moment where you start
almost also asking like, what's actually gonna be enough? I
at what point do I challenge myself to just like
be okay with being okay because we've been taught to
(04:16):
be a hustler. Do do you have that in mind?
Or do you do you feel like you're just still?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
It was funny.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I went through a point in my life where I
felt like I had hit like and I was complacent,
and that complacency I felt stagnated in my actual growth.
So for me now, I try not to be complacent
with anything because I know I can keep out doing
(04:46):
things and it's just you know, it's just like you
get relaxed and you like, then time goes by. I'm like, yo,
I could have actually done more, and I'm in a
point in my life in my career where I just
want to do more. I'm very happy if it had
(05:08):
to all end right now. I'm actually good in my
mind and where I'm at. You know, there's people have
started on this journeyway that are no longer around than
not doing certain things. And I've been lucky with the
opportunity I've had, specifically within confines of the business that
I'm in, you know. So like in terms of myself,
(05:32):
I'm okay, let go all right, this is where we
topped out. Okay, cool, it's not bad. Excuse your dreams,
probably two or three times, and what you're doing. Because
in my career, I went from wanting to be the
top rap promotion executive and control all the all the
(05:57):
all the DJs across the country. At one certain point
in time, I did that already and then I had
to shift, and then I shifted into an agency model,
and then I shifted into you know, into what we're
doing here at influence.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
So like, like I said, the one journey has led
actually to the next journey where I started.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I never thought i'd be where I'm at today, So
I'm like, well, what's next. It's pretty exciting. What is
this all gonna end? That, you know what I'm saying.
And like I said, if I had to things came
to an end, I'd be like.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
My thing. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
To a certain extent, of course I want to do more,
but you know, like I definitely can't be mad about things.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I think that's the part that like when I started
the show, and I got a lot of questions on, well,
you're saying these things because you've already accomplished your dream,
and well if you actually start being okay with nothing
in your life change and then you lose hustle, And
my answer has just generally been, I think to the opposite.
(07:08):
I think continuing to dream is what allows us to move.
But from where I'm dreaming now is no longer from
a place of void or necessity of trying to feel
something internally that was maybe empty because I had this
perception of what I had to become in order for
you know, people to respect me, or for me to
(07:30):
have success or for me to quote unquote earn the
things that I sought out to accomplish. This work of
doing you versus you has really allowed me to create
from a place of wholeness where it's like, I just
want to do what I love to do, and I
trust that in that energy and in that creation process,
(07:52):
everything will come in and will allow me to grow
as I am meant to grow, but without the anxiety.
And the example I use all the time is, you know,
we're we've been accustomed to be a wave, like be big,
be strong, be persevere, like you're going to have a tsunami,
and you can crush the city. The problem with the
wave and having a tidal wave is that as it
(08:14):
is growing, the wave always knows it's going to break,
and so you suffer it through the growth and like
the if I don't pick up called if I don't
fly out, and we lived like that, and I think
in our business, I mean multiple business, and I have
firens who are lawyers or real estate agents, and they're
(08:35):
in that anxiety all the time as we did, because
we have this image of what what's a stake at
all means? And what I've learned is that while the
wave builds with this idea of success in its mind,
of strength, but also with anxiety, the truth is that
we're all the ocean mhm, and we can create another wave.
(08:57):
But in order to do that, it's like, how can
you get to a place so you just know that
you're the ocean?
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Well?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You know funny that, like I try not to let
any of that stuff affect me, like anxiety, and I've
actually kind of let this journey take me to where
it's supposed to take me, I guess I. I actually
learned that at a young age through my through my
mother who's like a Buddhist Puerto Rican Buddhist, and it's
(09:30):
just like something that I've kind of like for me personally,
I felt like I've started mastering some of that stuff
around between the ages of fourteen and sixteen, because there
was just certain things in my life that I were
not I was not able to control, and I kind
of had to flow with things and not let kind
of let things roll off me, roll off your back,
(09:51):
and so like for me, I just basically it's kind
of like kind of when to operate, Like I I
listen a lot. I don't react at first, I don't
try to. I always try to operate from a space
of strength, right, and strength comes in different ways, right.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
So for me, like.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Even when I'm negotiating and I have nothing to negotiate with,
I'm not going to negotiate out of desperation. I try
not to because some people make poor decisions on that
and just my framing of the way I've been thinking
is actually really work for me, doesn't necessarily work for
everyone else, you know, works with some people in certain
(10:40):
ways it works. So I just try to honestly listen
to my own self and let that kind of like
guide my way on how I'm getting getting shit done. Actually,
quite frankly, you know, I think it's just kind of
like my part of my mindset. I've never stressed out
about having it, not how maybe I'm an idiot for
(11:04):
not thinking that way. Maybe i'd be further, but I
just don't. I just the whole wave thing. I feel
like I am the ocean, but I don't have to
be a wave. I can just keep rising, rising and
take over it. Take over something said is just decimating everything.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
So I love that, and I kind of test to
that because, you know, being that we've done so many deals,
I I think I continue to do that because you're
definitely one of the most calm people in stressful situations
that I've dealt with in this business, and that leads
me to ask you. You know, as a leader, it's very
(11:48):
different coming from being an entrepreneur and a hustler, and
like that was very much the stage at the beginning
of the career. Right's like I gotta hustle DJs, I
gotta get this guy, I gotta put here, I gotta
get the come because that's just the business well as
it is, and it continues to be when you're in
that stage. And then you have graduation, which is this
concept of switching your mentality from a hustler to an
(12:11):
operator where you know the numbers matter, where the personalit
and the kind of your family, and how you build,
how each person works intertwined to a team, how you
speak to investors. How has that transition been for you.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
It's like it's been a whole growing process, just like
you just don't end up here, like you said, you
start from like this hustling mentality. Maybe fake it till
you make it mentality. Everybody says that, and you just
have to like graduate and understand. Like they always say,
(12:50):
there's levels, So once you level, you have to level
up and you have to look for the next deeper
understanding of how these you know, like whether negotiat deals,
I learned everything every single deal I do, I learn
something new. Every single business I'm involved in, I learned something.
Even to this day, I think what's important is you
(13:13):
You actually don't do these things alone. You have to
pick the appropriate people to be on the journey with you,
and people come and they people go.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I've been actually really fortunate enough to find a partner
who is also my wife and business and in life,
and our goals are actually aligned and we actually do too.
We'd be in office at the same time and we
won't see each other all day and we'll talk business
(13:45):
and then once we're out of here, it just actually works.
I think part of the thing is you got to
find your your tribe and your team and make it
really work for you on how you want to conduct
yourself and business and how you you see things, you
know what I'm saying, and with everything else. At some
point in time, you just got to cut shit off
(14:05):
and just be like he unplugged. You got to master that,
like unplugged, not even thinking about that until like maybe
two days from now.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
You know, giving yourself the permission to unplug, I think
is one of the healthiest things.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Oh yeah, you have to unplug, because if you don't unplug,
you'll unplode, you'll like to destroy yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
And I've seen lots of.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Seen people just do that to themselves, and I think
it's just not good for your health, quite frankly, and
sometimes I get shift for that, but it's like, okay,
what is what does panic and chaos do for you?
At the end of the day, just creates more. So
(14:53):
it's better just to be a little zen about things
and float it and you know what, sleep on it
a or two. Then next thing, you know, oh, solutions
common there's a different light or something switches and shit
happens like that.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
You know. So I sound like a little bit of bullshit,
but it's the truth.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It's what we talk about here and we emphasize here
because I agree with all those things right, and I
had to learn them the hard way. I had to
learn them suffering and I had to learn them hitting walls,
and I had to learn them by you know, having
my body failed on me. And I was sharing with
my team earlier that you know, New York has this,
uh it's kind of love hate relationship with me. Right,
(15:34):
It's like, I don't ever come to New York for
a vacation, and it's on purpose, Like my wife says, oh,
let's go to New York for the weekend, nope, vacation, nope,
I can't. There's some trauma in there from you know,
definitely coming up and suffering in the streets in New
York as I was coming up. There's also this idea
(15:54):
of productivity, of accomplishing that that happens here that as
a young kid building his dreamed the city was significant
to my life. But I suffered through it, you know.
And and funny enough, throughout the past two years, I
think every time that I've come to New York to
close a big deal, I get sick. You know, I
was coming here this week to record this. I got sick.
(16:15):
I've come here last time I had to close a
big record deal and I got kindystones on the way
I was landing. I got sick the time I came
here to this office to close that deal. Like it's something, Yeah,
I felt spiritual about the idea of what this city.
And then it's really interesting, but you touched on this
idea that I think get spoken about a lot, and
(16:38):
when people are thinking about building their career, which is faked,
you'll make it. Why do you think that Dad has
gained the importance or kind of the strength and the
saying that people really live by and do you truly
believe that you got to do that? You think that
you have more value by just being authentic and just
not putting so much value and having to think this
(17:01):
idea that you've made it in order to get into
a room or be successful.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Well, I mean, I don't necessarily agree with the fakeanty
make it, quite honest, it's just the saying I think
you at the beginning stages of when you're building something,
people on the outside need to see in a certain way,
even if it's not necessary. What is in the background,
And that's part of the fake it till you make
it that you have to put up for people to
(17:27):
and that's just human nature and that's just the way
people perceive things.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
So that part, you know, I it's a necessary evil.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
But at a certain point you gotta also be real
with yourself and not get caught up into the.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
All the way faking it.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Because if you get caught up to the all the
way faking it, you're just like I've seen a lot
of people go that route and they're doing things that
they can't actually work to do and do things, and
I'm like, that's I know, that's what, but that's not you.
(18:08):
You gotta do what you're here to do, and maybe
that might happen for you, but there's nothing wrong with
just being you and creating your own you know what
I'm saying. Like for many years, you know, like I
work for you know, like when I was working for
the label's, work for five labels, and then I really
haven't worked for anybody for the last twenty five years,
(18:31):
which is kind of r I jumped out of a
plane with no parachute, and I'm like, I landed on
the ground.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I landed on my feet. But like you kind of got.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
To do you to a certain extent, you know what
I'm saying, and not look around at others and just
like focus on what your journey is and.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
How you're going to manifest that.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
And for me, it's really just being really strategic about
a lot of a lot of my decisions. It's a
lot of my pivots and seeing that, you know, oh,
this line of business that I'm in is actually it's
changing right underneath my feet, and am I going to
be able to really survive in this business? And is
(19:17):
it time for me to reinvent myself? But some people
don't understand. Reinvention of yourself is constant. It's the one
thing in life that's constant, doesn't matter. It's called change.
Nothing's ever the same, from the day you're born into
(19:37):
the day you depart. Not a moment is actually the same.
You know what I'm saying, like, not a moment. So
people often are fearful of change, but I actually think
it should actually be embraced and not saying that it's
not scary.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Of course, it is scary. You know, we have a
human condition.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
You know what we used to doing and this and that,
and what's going to happen with this if I don't
have that and this and that. But if you let
that consume you, you're never going to get through it
in a way that's ultimately healthy for you at the.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
End of the day.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I mean, there's been days where I woke up where
I've woken up of like why do I feel not depressed?
Speaker 3 (20:19):
But like why am I feeling this way?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I'm successful, I'm doing the things I want to do,
And then all of a sudden, I'm like, oh, that's why.
You know, It's it's funny. It's like my son going
away to boarding school just shifted my whole like it's
just certain things. Like it's so like I said, life
(20:44):
is constant change of like personal business success and balancing
act for you and your mindsetting, your psyche.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
You know, no, I agree. I put the video the
other day that I attribute a huge part of my
success to the fact that I consistently moved out of
(21:16):
the city, and that I came to New York and said, Okay,
I want to go to London. I want to go
to la I want to go to Toronto, I want to
go to New York. I want to go back to Miami.
Because while it wasn't planned, I learned to pick up
on the pattern where I felt my energy was better,
so that there was times where I was in New
York and I was extremely joyful, and they were saying,
there's times where it's like I would just go to
(21:37):
a new city, whoa, And then I get that arraignment moment.
And while it was not planned, it forced me to say, well,
now I have to go meet a whole new set
of people, have to go meet a whole new set
of you know, like places to go to and hang
out and experience a whole new culture all over again.
(21:59):
But talking about change, you know, I've tried I would
say maybe three times in my career to work alongside
my partner. You've been able to do it successful as
you built this company, how have you dealt with as
a couple with the ever changing landscape of not just
your emotional life but also your work life. Right, because
(22:22):
you feel the waves together. That's the thing. When you
work together, it's like you ride them together because you
live the levels, on the highs of the business together.
So it's not like you come home it's like somebody
has another story. You know, you're living the same story.
But at the same time, as you were saying, as
a human and as a couple, as emotion you go
through changes like your kids leaving home or just you know,
(22:43):
dealing with life as it is. How have you been
able to navigate that consistent change as a couple.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Well, I don't look at it as we're couple.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I look at it as we're partners because initially our
relationships started as a business relationship and then evolved in
to that and then, like I said, we deal with
different parts of the business and we just have a
There are there are a lot of husic successful business
(23:12):
partners that happened to be.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Married. It's actually doesn't work for everyone. It just works.
It just it just worked for us. It just happened.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
It just worked. I don't often think about it like that.
I you know, get up. Yeah, there's there's always businesses
twenty four seven, and so it's the personal.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
It's twenty four seven.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
But neither one needs to collide with each other and
create it creat an issue.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
And so if you were going to give the audience
right like kind of three practical points that you've been
able to notice and be aware of in how you
guys relate, because I'm sure there's many couples or many partners,
and even when it's not a couple, when it's just
a partnership, like me and my partner even in up
(24:02):
been in business our whole live here. Yeah, has there
been three practical points that you're like, hey, here are
three things that how you should navigate a problem, how
you know you should give each other's space, or what
are the three things that you can pinpoint to say, Hey,
this is why we've been really successful working together.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Well, like I said, with any I don't, like I said,
I look at a person as like a relationship level.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
I look at as I take it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
From a partnership level, and like when you have a partner,
whether it's a business partner or a life partner, you
get to understand who that person is. You get to
understand how they communicate, You understand how you communicate. You know,
the battles you pick and the paddles that you don't,
and it just you know, there are a lot of
(24:46):
like great partnerships, whether like I said, the spouses or
not spouses, And it's just like like you have a
business partner, right, and you're like, that's my personal I'm
on this journey with This is the person I know
has my back.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
We think alike, we both know each other.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
There's an issue, there's cure, clear communication, and you know,
it's kind of just how it operates. Just really clean communication,
respect for each other. Don't get into things in mixed company,
just even on a business even with your own business partner.
(25:27):
I Don'm not going to get it here close boom,
whatever it is, deal with it, figure out. In any partnership,
it's healthy to be not on the same side and
there'd be some conflict because out of that comes solutions. Yo,
(25:48):
you're looking at it the wrong way, look at it
this way, look at it that way. And then maybe
sometimes you just got to ride with your partner, like, Okay,
that's what you want to do, I'm riding with you.
We're going to ride something. You know what's it goes
down the wrong way?
Speaker 3 (26:02):
You know it was you. It was you exactly.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It doesn't matter whether yeah, business is with your business
part It's like, yo, bro, all right, came a rock
with you.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I told you be Now you got to do it
my way.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Oh we should try it this way, not my way,
we should try it this way.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
For me, what's worked really crazy. And I always says,
like when I made Ivan, Ivan was who's my business partner?
Ivan was an intern for me, And at the time
I owned marketing agency and the you know, I would
have my interns do a certain design and every time
I would be like, yeah, you know, the color has
to be orange, he'd be like the one intern on
(26:40):
the crean like, I think it should be blue. I'm
gonna do orange. But I just I just want to say,
and I you know, at the time, I was an
immature twenty one year old and I was like this
is this is little man it's about to get fired.
Like what what you're telling me? I'm getting in the car,
drive home and be like, damn, he might be right
right a little different, Yeah, And what I said was
(27:02):
because we're completely different, Like we really don't have a
lot of similarities in personality and in likes, Like it's
really interesting partnership because usually you tend to have like, oh,
we like to do this together, Like, we really don't
have a lot of likes. We even though we've been
best friends for twenty some years, Like I hang out
with him like once a year because because outside of work,
(27:24):
it's really interested. But we always had the Batman and Robin,
which was like I always said, he allowed me to
have the confidence to take risk because I knew he
would always be there, And I allowed him to extend
himself because he would never take a risk. So because
(27:45):
he trusts, he went along for the ride, doing things
like moving to la and moving to Toronto, things he
would never have done in his life. And so we've
both been able to stretch and contract consistently because he's
never trying to be Batman and I wouldn't have been
able to be Batman without Robin. And that dynamic of
being able to build that, which is really interesting because
(28:06):
it's been really successful for my business career. But I
had never seen it like that in my personal relationships.
My personal relationship, I was wanted to be Batman Robin
and bad Girl, like I rule, okay, I say what
goes on here, and you're not gonna do it. And
I had to learn the hard way now to treat
my wife as like you're not a person that's with me,
You're actually my partner. You have the same amount of value,
(28:29):
you have the same amount of responsibility, you have the
same amount of respect. And it took me really seeing
her as a mother where I was like, oh my god,
if I spent a day with my daughter screaming how
she does all I would be I would ever jumped
off the damn thing.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Well, I can say this for me personally, I think
I've always been like a staunch supporter of women, you
know what I'm saying. All my opportunities actually came from
women in this business. From Kathy mohrran intern or to
be at a record label. From the opportunity to get
to become an intern came from my aunt and working
(29:07):
for Sylvia Rohne, which she let me, let me spread
my wings at all the you know me having working
at a lecture and still having my RPM company and
having a mixture power summit. So like I've always had
that you know, female energy around me. I've always respected it.
And even before it was like and n thing, you
(29:28):
know what I'm saying. And I was never just with
the boys club, only always invited, you know, and so
and you think the thing about like like you said,
la Lett is my She's my business partner first to
me in my mind.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
And my wife.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
So she came enjoyed me when I had RPM, I
had the success with you know, my promotion company.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
She came in. I met her.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
She was a very successful club promoter in New York
and she he was doing a lot of things as
a look, this person's like fucking she's fucking super smart.
And I had other business partners and I was like, oh, no,
you need to come in and we need to get straight.
Because it allowed me the opportunity to do certain things
(30:22):
where I could rely on a person who understood the
value of what I was doing and then knew how
to flip that value and create more value. And there's
been times in in in our business relationship where I'm like, yo,
you just drive the ship.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
I got your back on rock. Let's go. I trust
you just like you trusted me. Let's flip it.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
So like it's just been a natural progress of like
of what a partnership is to me.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
You know, what do you think is the lesson life
has striven to teach you and you keep running away from.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Wow, that's a good question of life. Lesson life is
I'm not sure about that, not probably being relevant anymore.
And I don't know if it's scared. It's more like
I guess it's scared. It's the thing that keeps me motivated.
You know, Like obviously the business that we're in is
(31:23):
a young business, right, so how do you keep elevating
in this business and becoming and like reinventing yourself and
keep it going and keep it going? I mean you
might want to call me a workaholic, but I mean
just the way I kind of like see things. So
just being relevant and being able to contribute is I
(31:47):
want to do as much as I can, as suppose
as long as I can. And maybe what might be
scary out of this conversation is maybe losing my identity
of I am, and at some point in time I
think everyone help succumb to the realization like oh shit,
(32:09):
this ship part is really over. Yeah, but we had
a good run, you know. So I think I think
I might have answered that question of like what scary?
That's kind of like the scary part, you know what
I'm saying, coming to there's always like I said, it's
constant change.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
That's always going to be an that.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, I can relate to that because I'm kind of
in that stage of my life where the circumstances and
ideas and changes in my life. I'm having to phase
that fear of like what happens where the identity and
the chair you sit in? You know they say sometimes
(32:48):
you think it's the man and not the chair, but
it's the chair.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
I know that. Yeah, especially where I'm at right now.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
I'm in a chair where I can do certain things
and it doesn't necessarily last.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
You're sitting in the chair.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
One day, you got to get up from that chair,
whether it's this or that or whatever circumstances. And as
long as you know that you're good, you gotta be
good with it. It's the game, as they say, it's.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
It's been interesting in a personal way for me to
start challenging that part of my fear because you know,
as I transition my life into new things, I transition
out of like you know, Lex the mega music executive,
into taking care of myself, my body, my health and
(33:43):
it it it posed a lot of questions about Lex
as an identity too, right, Like I started to realize
that for for so many years, I didn't even have
a hobby. I didn't even have anything that I personally
did for myself because everything was given towards growing a
(34:04):
business or is growing a client, towards like this idea
that this dream will one day will fulfill all those
needs and then I can go start living whatever idea
of my dreams I had. And when I felt time
click and say, hey, time is not unlimited. You might
not last. What does that mean to your life? And
(34:26):
for me it was like, oh my god, all these
other passions and things I've had that I haven't done
thinking they'll be tomorrow, let me go do that today.
And that transitioning off the chair to the point that
I was like been challenging myself to just introduce myself
as Alex and nothing else, like in our business where
(34:46):
so I used to say, hey, what was something I'm
r am, you know, CEO of influence, like just I'm
just Alex, which I actually have nothing to offer you,
like other than my presence and my good energy. Like
I didn't think that was gonna be a thing, but
as I'm putting it into practice, you realize how much
of my identity lied in the title. Is there a
(35:08):
moment in your time as a parent that you could
identify and you were like, damn, I made it because
you sell your kids. Is there an specific moment, like
for me, the moment that my daughter ran to me
and just said that I love you, like it was
I think the first time in my life that I completely,
(35:32):
actually feel like whole about what I had accomplished and
said like nothing else matter but this moment. You know,
as a parent, is there a moment that you're like,
you know, this moment right here, If I can just
hold this moment in a bottom and put it in
the keychain for the rest of my life.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I think there's a lot of moments like that. You know.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
I'm me being an older parent than you and having
like kids in the late twenties and then I have
my kids who are, like the little youngest one is
entering their teens shortly. I think there's a lot of
times where I said, yeah, you want to capture that.
But what I find myself doing is like, how can
(36:14):
I do this better this time around?
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Because when you know, I have.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
My kids when I was fairly young, like my first
one was twenty five, that was twenty seven, and just
still young and still figuring out the journey. I wasn't
who I am today.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
I had actually got into the business early and lost
a gig working at a label, and she came along
and actually kind of really made me refocus, and from
there it was just blessings that started coming after that,
and then my other one came and then more blessings
and blessings and bestings. But our turn where I'm at
(36:55):
right now, is like how can I be a better
parent to my older ones and my younger ones and
maybe my like I said, my my you verse you
is and not necessary. It's more in that world of like,
how can I be more of service to them and
(37:18):
their development so that when they have offspring and they
have children, there's you know, there's always collateral damage, and
if you don't deal with that, it's just festers. And
so I think that's kind of like where my head
is with that. You know, being a parent, I capture
(37:39):
those moments, keep them close, yes, of course, but now
it's like, how do I get them to be a
better version of what I am as a parent.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
I'm there with my kids.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
All the time, Like, that's not a day that I
don't try to talk to either one of them, or
you know, as they get older, you know they gonna
call the call.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
You're chasing them down or whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
It's interesting.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
That's a bittersweet. Actually that's my line.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Tell you, it's an interesting dynamic. I think being a parent,
for me has given me a whole lot of appreciation
for my parents because you don't realize how hard it
is to you know, teach your offspring, teach someone that
you know that every little thing you do is affecting
or they're in taking all that information. Meanwhile, you're trying
(38:28):
to figure out yourself, right, You're trying to figure out
what life means to you, what love means to you,
what success means to you. You're in your internal universus.
You battle meanwhile trying to guide someone else. And and
you know, I think that's the that's the beautiful crown
and the burden of the crown of both being a
(38:50):
parent and being a leader and team because.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Oh yeah, I mean it's a sacrifice on both ends.
There was a I feel there's a lot more sacrifice
my first Syni kids. Then yeah, the two that the
old the younger two now. But it's challenging, Like you said,
you're trying to build to you or build.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
This this like.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Yourn thief them your own kingdom of what you want
to build and how it is, and there's like it's challenging.
It can be challenging, it could be damaging, but at
some point in time you gotta correct whatever you know.
And it's just part of what it is. And it's
given me a lot of respect from my parents. Like
you said, you know, look at my parents. I was like, wow, yeah,
(39:38):
had me when I was twenty one, shit, I was
twenty five.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Like they were still.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Discovering whatever it is and they split up, and it's
just part it's just you know, it's part of what
it is, part of the journey.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
If you it was all said, and then what do
you want your kids to remember.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
You for them knowing that I gave them a bet,
sorry I could, even if they might not feel it
was enough, but I gave my best and there was
nothing else that I could get. I think that's the
thing that I want them to know because when they
become parents, they'll understand what that means. I gave you
(40:21):
the best I could give you at that moment, not
a drop less, but the best.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
And that is important, you know. I think that's really important,
you know, because all you can do is do your best.
That's all you can actually do.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
M How about the business, what would you want to
be remembered as the business?
Speaker 1 (41:00):
As an entrepreneur? You know what I'm saying, Like I've
been that my whole life. I've always taken a different route,
you know what I'm saying, Like, even when I was
employed at these companies, I had this entrepreneurial spirit where
I was like, I'm gonna take what I can take
(41:21):
from this, learn it extremely we're going to apply it
so that I could see the white spaces and build
things out around them. Pretty much. You know, it's kind
of like been my my.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
My journey with us, you know, so we always as
this as we're ending our episode, and it's we talk
a lot about the power of words. We talk about
how significant it is what you tell yourself, because your
brain truly doesn't know the difference between truth or false.
It just knows what you tell it. And while where
a lot more kind than loving to other people, you know,
(42:03):
we talk to ourselves a lot more and we're a
lot more harsh with ourselves. So today, there's one word
that you could tell yourself that would help you with
your U versus you, that would change how you're perceiving
the rest of this week, the rest of this year.
What would that one word be?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
I think it might might be probably more than word.
One word.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
There's always room for continuous growth, you know, I think
that's really what it is. I don't think you stop
working on yourself until it's all said and done.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Honestly, I love that. Thank you for being part of
you versus you man. Thank you for lending us your
beautiful office to do this, and most importantly, thank you
for always being a stand up guy and an incredible
guy to do business with itself.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Well, I mean, I want to thank you for being
a great partner. Our path has crossed, and we've done
some great things together. And I love what you built
and the brotherhood that we've come to form together, and
I just want to take the time out and thank
you for that.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Thank you for being part of the university, your brother.
I appreciates all right you versus you as a production
of Neon sixteen and Entertained Studios in partnership with the
Iheartmichael to that podcast network for more podcasts, Listen to
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Maybe fake it till you make it. Everybody says that
everything else. At some point in time, you just gotta
cut shit off of me. Just be like how unplugged.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You got to master that giving yourself the permission to unplug,
I think is one of the healthiest things.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You have to unplug because if you don't unplug, you'll unplugged.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
You're like destroyers.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Renee McClain, founder, co managing partner of Influence Media and
CEO of Slang.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
What does panic and chaos do for you? At the
end of the day, creates more?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Sometimes you think is the man and not the chair,
But it's the chair.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I know that, especially where I'm at right now. I'm
in a chair where I can do certain things. And
I sound like a little bit of bullshit, but.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
It is the truth.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Renee, Welcome to you versus you. I'm excited to have
you here. I should. I just said you should be
excited to have me here because I'm in your office.
I was sharing with my team, how you know, I
close one of the biggest deals in my career in
this in this office. And it was also a which
one was that you know, one of many were closed. Uh,
(00:59):
you know for those listening and watching. You know, Renee
and I have a long, extensive relationship of doing amazing
deals together in our entertainment careers, but it was also
the first time that I had come to New York
with who became my current wife and the mother of
my child. And so, believe it or not, your office
(01:20):
has a very sentimental meaning to my life and is
gracious that we're now having this conversation here.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
It's wonderful.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
But that also leads me to ask you, when you
sit here every day, when you come up, when you
look at the name of the company as the elevator
doors open and you sit in the corner in your
boss chair, what does it feel like to see everything
that you've been able to accomplish.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
The one word that comes to my mind is it's
strange because I never actually thought i'd be in this
position of what I'm doing. It's always been a dream
to you know, to be successful. But you know, when
you visualize and it actually becomes an actual reality, it
(02:09):
feels like a little strange and it's like okay, kind
of not like what do I do next, It's like, oh,
I'm here, and now I have to you know, I
have to live up to everything I said I wanted
to do, which becomes you know, that becomes a challenge
(02:29):
and then you know, specifically like with influence. You know,
we've been in business since officially in business as influence,
like in the way it is right now, last five
years I think it is, and it's kind of gone
pretty good by pretty quickly, and it's just been like
(02:52):
I have to stick back sometime and be like, wow, okay,
actually did that? How did I get here? And you're
probably similar experiences with that. Wh when we first started
on your journey to you kind of iterate yourself over
and over again to get to a point where you
(03:12):
can be like, Okay, I've I've kind of hit my
dream and I've got to keep going beyond that as well.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
So it's kind of like strange.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You find it hard because I know I do.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
And the funny why I won't say things, It's funny
like when you get to a certain point, people actually
start training a little different and it's like, Okay, that's.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Cliff top, Like you've reached that place where uh you know,
you know, the air got thinner. Yeah, And while you
could keep going up money wise, like in your mind
you've also just like, okay, I'm at the cliff top here,
and oh when I look down, it looks it there's
only one way down. Is there's only so much you
(03:56):
can climb. And I think for every successful person I've
had on the show, is that moment where you start
almost also asking like, what's actually gonna be enough? I
at what point do I challenge myself to just like
be okay with being okay because we've been taught to
(04:16):
be a hustler. Do do you have that in mind?
Or do you do you feel like you're just still?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
It was funny.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I went through a point in my life where I
felt like I had hit like and I was complacent,
and that complacency I felt stagnated in my actual growth.
So for me now, I try not to be complacent
with anything because I know I can keep out doing
(04:46):
things and it's just you know, it's just like you
get relaxed and you like, then time goes by. I'm like, yo,
I could have actually done more, and I'm in a
point in my life in my career where I just
want to do more. I'm very happy if it had
(05:08):
to all end right now. I'm actually good in my
mind and where I'm at. You know, there's people have
started on this journeyway that are no longer around than
not doing certain things. And I've been lucky with the
opportunity I've had, specifically within confines of the business that
I'm in, you know. So like in terms of myself,
(05:32):
I'm okay, let go all right, this is where we
topped out. Okay, cool, it's not bad. Excuse your dreams,
probably two or three times, and what you're doing. Because
in my career, I went from wanting to be the
top rap promotion executive and control all the all the
(05:57):
all the DJs across the country. At one certain point
in time, I did that already and then I had
to shift, and then I shifted into an agency model,
and then I shifted into you know, into what we're
doing here at influence.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
So like, like I said, the one journey has led
actually to the next journey where I started.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I never thought i'd be where I'm at today, So
I'm like, well, what's next. It's pretty exciting. What is
this all gonna end? That, you know what I'm saying.
And like I said, if I had to things came
to an end, I'd be like.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
My thing. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
To a certain extent, of course I want to do more,
but you know, like I definitely can't be mad about things.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I think that's the part that like when I started
the show, and I got a lot of questions on, well,
you're saying these things because you've already accomplished your dream,
and well if you actually start being okay with nothing
in your life change and then you lose hustle, And
my answer has just generally been, I think to the opposite.
(07:08):
I think continuing to dream is what allows us to move.
But from where I'm dreaming now is no longer from
a place of void or necessity of trying to feel
something internally that was maybe empty because I had this
perception of what I had to become in order for
you know, people to respect me, or for me to
(07:30):
have success or for me to quote unquote earn the
things that I sought out to accomplish. This work of
doing you versus you has really allowed me to create
from a place of wholeness where it's like, I just
want to do what I love to do, and I
trust that in that energy and in that creation process,
(07:52):
everything will come in and will allow me to grow
as I am meant to grow, but without the anxiety.
And the example I use all the time is, you know,
we're we've been accustomed to be a wave, like be big,
be strong, be persevere, like you're going to have a tsunami,
and you can crush the city. The problem with the
wave and having a tidal wave is that as it
(08:14):
is growing, the wave always knows it's going to break,
and so you suffer it through the growth and like
the if I don't pick up called if I don't
fly out, and we lived like that, and I think
in our business, I mean multiple business, and I have
firens who are lawyers or real estate agents, and they're
(08:35):
in that anxiety all the time as we did, because
we have this image of what what's a stake at
all means? And what I've learned is that while the
wave builds with this idea of success in its mind,
of strength, but also with anxiety, the truth is that
we're all the ocean mhm, and we can create another wave.
(08:57):
But in order to do that, it's like, how can
you get to a place so you just know that
you're the ocean?
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Well?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You know funny that, like I try not to let
any of that stuff affect me, like anxiety, and I've
actually kind of let this journey take me to where
it's supposed to take me, I guess I. I actually
learned that at a young age through my through my
mother who's like a Buddhist Puerto Rican Buddhist, and it's
(09:30):
just like something that I've kind of like for me personally,
I felt like I've started mastering some of that stuff
around between the ages of fourteen and sixteen, because there
was just certain things in my life that I were
not I was not able to control, and I kind
of had to flow with things and not let kind
of let things roll off me, roll off your back,
(09:51):
and so like for me, I just basically it's kind
of like kind of when to operate, Like I I
listen a lot. I don't react at first, I don't
try to. I always try to operate from a space
of strength, right, and strength comes in different ways, right.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
So for me, like.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Even when I'm negotiating and I have nothing to negotiate with,
I'm not going to negotiate out of desperation. I try
not to because some people make poor decisions on that
and just my framing of the way I've been thinking
is actually really work for me, doesn't necessarily work for
everyone else, you know, works with some people in certain
(10:40):
ways it works. So I just try to honestly listen
to my own self and let that kind of like
guide my way on how I'm getting getting shit done. Actually,
quite frankly, you know, I think it's just kind of
like my part of my mindset. I've never stressed out
about having it, not how maybe I'm an idiot for
(11:04):
not thinking that way. Maybe i'd be further, but I
just don't. I just the whole wave thing. I feel
like I am the ocean, but I don't have to
be a wave. I can just keep rising, rising and
take over it. Take over something said is just decimating everything.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
So I love that, and I kind of test to
that because, you know, being that we've done so many deals,
I I think I continue to do that because you're
definitely one of the most calm people in stressful situations
that I've dealt with in this business, and that leads
me to ask you. You know, as a leader, it's very
(11:48):
different coming from being an entrepreneur and a hustler, and
like that was very much the stage at the beginning
of the career. Right's like I gotta hustle DJs, I
gotta get this guy, I gotta put here, I gotta
get the come because that's just the business well as
it is, and it continues to be when you're in
that stage. And then you have graduation, which is this
concept of switching your mentality from a hustler to an
(12:11):
operator where you know the numbers matter, where the personalit
and the kind of your family, and how you build,
how each person works intertwined to a team, how you
speak to investors. How has that transition been for you.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
It's like it's been a whole growing process, just like
you just don't end up here, like you said, you
start from like this hustling mentality. Maybe fake it till
you make it mentality. Everybody says that, and you just
have to like graduate and understand. Like they always say,
(12:50):
there's levels, So once you level, you have to level
up and you have to look for the next deeper
understanding of how these you know, like whether negotiat deals,
I learned everything every single deal I do, I learn
something new. Every single business I'm involved in, I learned something.
Even to this day, I think what's important is you
(13:13):
You actually don't do these things alone. You have to
pick the appropriate people to be on the journey with you,
and people come and they people go.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I've been actually really fortunate enough to find a partner
who is also my wife and business and in life,
and our goals are actually aligned and we actually do too.
We'd be in office at the same time and we
won't see each other all day and we'll talk business
(13:45):
and then once we're out of here, it just actually works.
I think part of the thing is you got to
find your your tribe and your team and make it
really work for you on how you want to conduct
yourself and business and how you you see things, you
know what I'm saying, and with everything else. At some
point in time, you just got to cut shit off
(14:05):
and just be like he unplugged. You got to master that,
like unplugged, not even thinking about that until like maybe
two days from now.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
You know, giving yourself the permission to unplug, I think
is one of the healthiest things.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Oh yeah, you have to unplug, because if you don't unplug,
you'll unplode, you'll like to destroy yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
And I've seen lots of.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Seen people just do that to themselves, and I think
it's just not good for your health, quite frankly, and
sometimes I get shift for that, but it's like, okay,
what is what does panic and chaos do for you?
At the end of the day, just creates more. So
(14:53):
it's better just to be a little zen about things
and float it and you know what, sleep on it
a or two. Then next thing, you know, oh, solutions
common there's a different light or something switches and shit
happens like that.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
You know. So I sound like a little bit of bullshit,
but it's the truth.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It's what we talk about here and we emphasize here
because I agree with all those things right, and I
had to learn them the hard way. I had to
learn them suffering and I had to learn them hitting walls,
and I had to learn them by you know, having
my body failed on me. And I was sharing with
my team earlier that you know, New York has this,
uh it's kind of love hate relationship with me. Right,
(15:34):
It's like, I don't ever come to New York for
a vacation, and it's on purpose, Like my wife says, oh,
let's go to New York for the weekend, nope, vacation, nope,
I can't. There's some trauma in there from you know,
definitely coming up and suffering in the streets in New
York as I was coming up. There's also this idea
(15:54):
of productivity, of accomplishing that that happens here that as
a young kid building his dreamed the city was significant
to my life. But I suffered through it, you know.
And and funny enough, throughout the past two years, I
think every time that I've come to New York to
close a big deal, I get sick. You know, I
was coming here this week to record this. I got sick.
(16:15):
I've come here last time I had to close a
big record deal and I got kindystones on the way
I was landing. I got sick the time I came
here to this office to close that deal. Like it's something, Yeah,
I felt spiritual about the idea of what this city.
And then it's really interesting, but you touched on this
idea that I think get spoken about a lot, and
(16:38):
when people are thinking about building their career, which is faked,
you'll make it. Why do you think that Dad has
gained the importance or kind of the strength and the
saying that people really live by and do you truly
believe that you got to do that? You think that
you have more value by just being authentic and just
not putting so much value and having to think this
(17:01):
idea that you've made it in order to get into
a room or be successful.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Well, I mean, I don't necessarily agree with the fakeanty
make it, quite honest, it's just the saying I think
you at the beginning stages of when you're building something,
people on the outside need to see in a certain way,
even if it's not necessary. What is in the background,
And that's part of the fake it till you make
it that you have to put up for people to
(17:27):
and that's just human nature and that's just the way
people perceive things.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
So that part, you know, I it's a necessary evil.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
But at a certain point you gotta also be real
with yourself and not get caught up into the.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
All the way faking it.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Because if you get caught up to the all the
way faking it, you're just like I've seen a lot
of people go that route and they're doing things that
they can't actually work to do and do things, and
I'm like, that's I know, that's what, but that's not you.
(18:08):
You gotta do what you're here to do, and maybe
that might happen for you, but there's nothing wrong with
just being you and creating your own you know what
I'm saying. Like for many years, you know, like I
work for you know, like when I was working for
the label's, work for five labels, and then I really
haven't worked for anybody for the last twenty five years,
(18:31):
which is kind of r I jumped out of a
plane with no parachute, and I'm like, I landed on
the ground.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I landed on my feet. But like you kind of got.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
To do you to a certain extent, you know what
I'm saying, and not look around at others and just
like focus on what your journey is and.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
How you're going to manifest that.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
And for me, it's really just being really strategic about
a lot of a lot of my decisions. It's a
lot of my pivots and seeing that, you know, oh,
this line of business that I'm in is actually it's
changing right underneath my feet, and am I going to
be able to really survive in this business? And is
(19:17):
it time for me to reinvent myself? But some people
don't understand. Reinvention of yourself is constant. It's the one
thing in life that's constant, doesn't matter. It's called change.
Nothing's ever the same, from the day you're born into
(19:37):
the day you depart. Not a moment is actually the same.
You know what I'm saying, like, not a moment. So
people often are fearful of change, but I actually think
it should actually be embraced and not saying that it's
not scary.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Of course, it is scary. You know, we have a
human condition.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
You know what we used to doing and this and that,
and what's going to happen with this if I don't
have that and this and that. But if you let
that consume you, you're never going to get through it
in a way that's ultimately healthy for you at the.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
End of the day.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I mean, there's been days where I woke up where
I've woken up of like why do I feel not depressed?
Speaker 3 (20:19):
But like why am I feeling this way?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I'm successful, I'm doing the things I want to do,
And then all of a sudden, I'm like, oh, that's why.
You know, It's it's funny. It's like my son going
away to boarding school just shifted my whole like it's
just certain things. Like it's so like I said, life
(20:44):
is constant change of like personal business success and balancing
act for you and your mindsetting, your psyche.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
You know, no, I agree. I put the video the
other day that I attribute a huge part of my
success to the fact that I consistently moved out of
(21:16):
the city, and that I came to New York and said, Okay,
I want to go to London. I want to go
to la I want to go to Toronto, I want to
go to New York. I want to go back to Miami.
Because while it wasn't planned, I learned to pick up
on the pattern where I felt my energy was better,
so that there was times where I was in New
York and I was extremely joyful, and they were saying,
there's times where it's like I would just go to
(21:37):
a new city, whoa, And then I get that arraignment moment.
And while it was not planned, it forced me to say, well,
now I have to go meet a whole new set
of people, have to go meet a whole new set
of you know, like places to go to and hang
out and experience a whole new culture all over again.
(21:59):
But talking about change, you know, I've tried I would
say maybe three times in my career to work alongside
my partner. You've been able to do it successful as
you built this company, how have you dealt with as
a couple with the ever changing landscape of not just
your emotional life but also your work life. Right, because
(22:22):
you feel the waves together. That's the thing. When you
work together, it's like you ride them together because you
live the levels, on the highs of the business together.
So it's not like you come home it's like somebody
has another story. You know, you're living the same story.
But at the same time, as you were saying, as
a human and as a couple, as emotion you go
through changes like your kids leaving home or just you know,
(22:43):
dealing with life as it is. How have you been
able to navigate that consistent change as a couple.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Well, I don't look at it as we're couple.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I look at it as we're partners because initially our
relationships started as a business relationship and then evolved in
to that and then, like I said, we deal with
different parts of the business and we just have a
There are there are a lot of husic successful business
(23:12):
partners that happened to be.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Married. It's actually doesn't work for everyone. It just works.
It just it just worked for us. It just happened.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
It just worked. I don't often think about it like that.
I you know, get up. Yeah, there's there's always businesses
twenty four seven, and so it's the personal.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
It's twenty four seven.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
But neither one needs to collide with each other and
create it creat an issue.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
And so if you were going to give the audience
right like kind of three practical points that you've been
able to notice and be aware of in how you
guys relate, because I'm sure there's many couples or many partners,
and even when it's not a couple, when it's just
a partnership, like me and my partner even in up
(24:02):
been in business our whole live here. Yeah, has there
been three practical points that you're like, hey, here are
three things that how you should navigate a problem, how
you know you should give each other's space, or what
are the three things that you can pinpoint to say, Hey,
this is why we've been really successful working together.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Well, like I said, with any I don't, like I said,
I look at a person as like a relationship level.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
I look at as I take it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
From a partnership level, and like when you have a partner,
whether it's a business partner or a life partner, you
get to understand who that person is. You get to
understand how they communicate, You understand how you communicate. You know,
the battles you pick and the paddles that you don't,
and it just you know, there are a lot of
(24:46):
like great partnerships, whether like I said, the spouses or
not spouses, And it's just like like you have a
business partner, right, and you're like, that's my personal I'm
on this journey with This is the person I know
has my back.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
We think alike, we both know each other.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
There's an issue, there's cure, clear communication, and you know,
it's kind of just how it operates. Just really clean communication,
respect for each other. Don't get into things in mixed company,
just even on a business even with your own business partner.
(25:27):
I Don'm not going to get it here close boom,
whatever it is, deal with it, figure out. In any partnership,
it's healthy to be not on the same side and
there'd be some conflict because out of that comes solutions. Yo,
(25:48):
you're looking at it the wrong way, look at it
this way, look at it that way. And then maybe
sometimes you just got to ride with your partner, like, Okay,
that's what you want to do, I'm riding with you.
We're going to ride something. You know what's it goes
down the wrong way?
Speaker 3 (26:02):
You know it was you. It was you exactly.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It doesn't matter whether yeah, business is with your business
part It's like, yo, bro, all right, came a rock
with you.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I told you be Now you got to do it
my way.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Oh we should try it this way, not my way,
we should try it this way.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
For me, what's worked really crazy. And I always says,
like when I made Ivan, Ivan was who's my business partner?
Ivan was an intern for me, And at the time
I owned marketing agency and the you know, I would
have my interns do a certain design and every time
I would be like, yeah, you know, the color has
to be orange, he'd be like the one intern on
(26:40):
the crean like, I think it should be blue. I'm
gonna do orange. But I just I just want to say,
and I you know, at the time, I was an
immature twenty one year old and I was like this
is this is little man it's about to get fired.
Like what what you're telling me? I'm getting in the car,
drive home and be like, damn, he might be right
right a little different, Yeah, And what I said was
(27:02):
because we're completely different, Like we really don't have a
lot of similarities in personality and in likes, Like it's
really interesting partnership because usually you tend to have like, oh,
we like to do this together, Like, we really don't
have a lot of likes. We even though we've been
best friends for twenty some years, Like I hang out
with him like once a year because because outside of work,
(27:24):
it's really interested. But we always had the Batman and Robin,
which was like I always said, he allowed me to
have the confidence to take risk because I knew he
would always be there, And I allowed him to extend
himself because he would never take a risk. So because
(27:45):
he trusts, he went along for the ride, doing things
like moving to la and moving to Toronto, things he
would never have done in his life. And so we've
both been able to stretch and contract consistently because he's
never trying to be Batman and I wouldn't have been
able to be Batman without Robin. And that dynamic of
being able to build that, which is really interesting because
(28:06):
it's been really successful for my business career. But I
had never seen it like that in my personal relationships.
My personal relationship, I was wanted to be Batman Robin
and bad Girl, like I rule, okay, I say what
goes on here, and you're not gonna do it. And
I had to learn the hard way now to treat
my wife as like you're not a person that's with me,
You're actually my partner. You have the same amount of value,
(28:29):
you have the same amount of responsibility, you have the
same amount of respect. And it took me really seeing
her as a mother where I was like, oh my god,
if I spent a day with my daughter screaming how
she does all I would be I would ever jumped
off the damn thing.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Well, I can say this for me personally, I think
I've always been like a staunch supporter of women, you
know what I'm saying. All my opportunities actually came from
women in this business. From Kathy mohrran intern or to
be at a record label. From the opportunity to get
to become an intern came from my aunt and working
(29:07):
for Sylvia Rohne, which she let me, let me spread
my wings at all the you know me having working
at a lecture and still having my RPM company and
having a mixture power summit. So like I've always had
that you know, female energy around me. I've always respected it.
And even before it was like and n thing, you
(29:28):
know what I'm saying. And I was never just with
the boys club, only always invited, you know, and so
and you think the thing about like like you said,
la Lett is my She's my business partner first to
me in my mind.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
And my wife.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
So she came enjoyed me when I had RPM, I
had the success with you know, my promotion company.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
She came in. I met her.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
She was a very successful club promoter in New York
and she he was doing a lot of things as
a look, this person's like fucking she's fucking super smart.
And I had other business partners and I was like, oh, no,
you need to come in and we need to get straight.
Because it allowed me the opportunity to do certain things
(30:22):
where I could rely on a person who understood the
value of what I was doing and then knew how
to flip that value and create more value. And there's
been times in in in our business relationship where I'm like, yo,
you just drive the ship.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
I got your back on rock. Let's go. I trust
you just like you trusted me. Let's flip it.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
So like it's just been a natural progress of like
of what a partnership is to me.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
You know, what do you think is the lesson life
has striven to teach you and you keep running away from.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Wow, that's a good question of life. Lesson life is
I'm not sure about that, not probably being relevant anymore.
And I don't know if it's scared. It's more like
I guess it's scared. It's the thing that keeps me motivated.
You know, Like obviously the business that we're in is
(31:23):
a young business, right, so how do you keep elevating
in this business and becoming and like reinventing yourself and
keep it going and keep it going? I mean you
might want to call me a workaholic, but I mean
just the way I kind of like see things. So
just being relevant and being able to contribute is I
(31:47):
want to do as much as I can, as suppose
as long as I can. And maybe what might be
scary out of this conversation is maybe losing my identity
of I am, and at some point in time I
think everyone help succumb to the realization like oh shit,
(32:09):
this ship part is really over. Yeah, but we had
a good run, you know. So I think I think
I might have answered that question of like what scary?
That's kind of like the scary part, you know what
I'm saying, coming to there's always like I said, it's
constant change.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
That's always going to be an that.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, I can relate to that because I'm kind of
in that stage of my life where the circumstances and
ideas and changes in my life. I'm having to phase
that fear of like what happens where the identity and
the chair you sit in? You know they say sometimes
(32:48):
you think it's the man and not the chair, but
it's the chair.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
I know that. Yeah, especially where I'm at right now.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
I'm in a chair where I can do certain things
and it doesn't necessarily last.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
You're sitting in the chair.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
One day, you got to get up from that chair,
whether it's this or that or whatever circumstances. And as
long as you know that you're good, you gotta be
good with it. It's the game, as they say, it's.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
It's been interesting in a personal way for me to
start challenging that part of my fear because you know,
as I transition my life into new things, I transition
out of like you know, Lex the mega music executive,
into taking care of myself, my body, my health and
(33:43):
it it it posed a lot of questions about Lex
as an identity too, right, Like I started to realize
that for for so many years, I didn't even have
a hobby. I didn't even have anything that I personally
did for myself because everything was given towards growing a
(34:04):
business or is growing a client, towards like this idea
that this dream will one day will fulfill all those
needs and then I can go start living whatever idea
of my dreams I had. And when I felt time
click and say, hey, time is not unlimited. You might
not last. What does that mean to your life? And
(34:26):
for me it was like, oh my god, all these
other passions and things I've had that I haven't done
thinking they'll be tomorrow, let me go do that today.
And that transitioning off the chair to the point that
I was like been challenging myself to just introduce myself
as Alex and nothing else, like in our business where
(34:46):
so I used to say, hey, what was something I'm
r am, you know, CEO of influence, like just I'm
just Alex, which I actually have nothing to offer you,
like other than my presence and my good energy. Like
I didn't think that was gonna be a thing, but
as I'm putting it into practice, you realize how much
of my identity lied in the title. Is there a
(35:08):
moment in your time as a parent that you could
identify and you were like, damn, I made it because
you sell your kids. Is there an specific moment, like
for me, the moment that my daughter ran to me
and just said that I love you, like it was
I think the first time in my life that I completely,
(35:32):
actually feel like whole about what I had accomplished and
said like nothing else matter but this moment. You know,
as a parent, is there a moment that you're like,
you know, this moment right here, If I can just
hold this moment in a bottom and put it in
the keychain for the rest of my life.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I think there's a lot of moments like that. You know.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
I'm me being an older parent than you and having
like kids in the late twenties and then I have
my kids who are, like the little youngest one is
entering their teens shortly. I think there's a lot of
times where I said, yeah, you want to capture that.
But what I find myself doing is like, how can
(36:14):
I do this better this time around?
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Because when you know, I have.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
My kids when I was fairly young, like my first
one was twenty five, that was twenty seven, and just
still young and still figuring out the journey. I wasn't
who I am today.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
I wasn't.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
I had actually got into the business early and lost
a gig working at a label, and she came along
and actually kind of really made me refocus, and from
there it was just blessings that started coming after that,
and then my other one came and then more blessings
and blessings and bestings. But our turn where I'm at
(36:55):
right now, is like how can I be a better
parent to my older ones and my younger ones and
maybe my like I said, my my you verse you
is and not necessary. It's more in that world of like,
how can I be more of service to them and
(37:18):
their development so that when they have offspring and they
have children, there's you know, there's always collateral damage, and
if you don't deal with that, it's just festers. And
so I think that's kind of like where my head
is with that. You know, being a parent, I capture
(37:39):
those moments, keep them close, yes, of course, but now
it's like, how do I get them to be a
better version of what I am as a parent.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
I'm there with my kids.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
All the time, Like, that's not a day that I
don't try to talk to either one of them, or
you know, as they get older, you know they gonna
call the call.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
You're chasing them down or whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
It's interesting.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
That's a bittersweet. Actually that's my line.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Tell you, it's an interesting dynamic. I think being a parent,
for me has given me a whole lot of appreciation
for my parents because you don't realize how hard it
is to you know, teach your offspring, teach someone that
you know that every little thing you do is affecting
or they're in taking all that information. Meanwhile, you're trying
(38:28):
to figure out yourself, right, You're trying to figure out
what life means to you, what love means to you,
what success means to you. You're in your internal universus.
You battle meanwhile trying to guide someone else. And and
you know, I think that's the that's the beautiful crown
and the burden of the crown of both being a
(38:50):
parent and being a leader and team because.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Oh yeah, I mean it's a sacrifice on both ends.
There was a I feel there's a lot more sacrifice
my first Syni kids. Then yeah, the two that the
old the younger two now. But it's challenging, Like you said,
you're trying to build to you or build.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
This this like.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Yourn thief them your own kingdom of what you want
to build and how it is, and there's like it's challenging.
It can be challenging, it could be damaging, but at
some point in time you gotta correct whatever you know.
And it's just part of what it is. And it's
given me a lot of respect from my parents. Like
you said, you know, look at my parents. I was like, wow, yeah,
(39:38):
had me when I was twenty one, shit, I was
twenty five.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Like they were still.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Discovering whatever it is and they split up, and it's
just part it's just you know, it's part of what
it is, part of the journey.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
If you it was all said, and then what do
you want your kids to remember.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
You for them knowing that I gave them a bet,
sorry I could, even if they might not feel it
was enough, but I gave my best and there was
nothing else that I could get. I think that's the
thing that I want them to know because when they
become parents, they'll understand what that means. I gave you
(40:21):
the best I could give you at that moment, not
a drop less, but the best.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
And that is important, you know. I think that's really important,
you know, because all you can do is do your best.
That's all you can actually do.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
M How about the business, what would you want to
be remembered as the business?
Speaker 1 (41:00):
As an entrepreneur? You know what I'm saying, Like I've
been that my whole life. I've always taken a different route,
you know what I'm saying, Like, even when I was
employed at these companies, I had this entrepreneurial spirit where
I was like, I'm gonna take what I can take
(41:21):
from this, learn it extremely we're going to apply it
so that I could see the white spaces and build
things out around them. Pretty much. You know, it's kind
of like been my my.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
My journey with us, you know, so we always as
this as we're ending our episode, and it's we talk
a lot about the power of words. We talk about
how significant it is what you tell yourself, because your
brain truly doesn't know the difference between truth or false.
It just knows what you tell it. And while where
a lot more kind than loving to other people, you know,
(42:03):
we talk to ourselves a lot more and we're a
lot more harsh with ourselves. So today, there's one word
that you could tell yourself that would help you with
your U versus you, that would change how you're perceiving
the rest of this week, the rest of this year.
What would that one word be?
Speaker 3 (42:23):
I think it might might be probably more than word.
One word.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
There's always room for continuous growth, you know, I think
that's really what it is. I don't think you stop
working on yourself until it's all said and done.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Honestly, I love that. Thank you for being part of
you versus you man. Thank you for lending us your
beautiful office to do this, and most importantly, thank you
for always being a stand up guy and an incredible
guy to do business with itself.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Well, I mean, I want to thank you for being
a great partner. Our path has crossed, and we've done
some great things together. And I love what you built
and the brotherhood that we've come to form together, and
I just want to take the time out and thank
you for that.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Thank you for being part of the university, your brother.
I appreciates all right you versus you as a production
of Neon sixteen and Entertained Studios in partnership with the
Iheartmichael to that podcast network for more podcasts, Listen to
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