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June 17, 2024 13 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, I am in need of advice. I am a 36 year old divorced man and I’m engaged to be married. I’m a middle school teacher and I have 2 children by my first marriage. My first wife is also a teacher at the same school and we divorced after I caught her cheating on me in her car with the track coach at our school. After the scandal, he transferred to a high school and my ex-wife married him. It was hell to have to work with her after she moved on with the guy that she cheated on me with..................

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, guys, time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And
if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter because guess what
you hear that this could be your letter? You never
know we could be reading yours live.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
All right, ladies, dentlem, it's time for the Strawberry Letter
with my good friend, Shirley Strawberry.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Thank you, Junior, my good friend. Subject he who finds
a wife. Dear Stephen, Shirley, I'm in need of advice.
I'm a thirty six year old divorced man and I'm
engaged to be married. I'm a middle school teacher and
I have two children by my first marriage. My wife
is also a teacher at the same school, and we
divorced after Okay, I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
This is crazy, right.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
We divorced after I caught her cheating on me in
her car with the track coach at our school.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Uh what.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
After the scandal, he transferred to a high school and
my ex wife married him. It was hell to have
to work with her after she moved on with the
guy that she cheated on me with. One day, she
came into my classroom and begged me to give her
a minute to talk. Then she started crying and asked

(01:26):
for my forgiveness, but I was not ready to forgive her.
She grabbed me and started kissing on me, and all
of the feelings I had for her came back. We
had sex in the storage closet in my classroom, and
I did not use protection. After the sex, she said
she wanted to get her family back together, and she

(01:48):
asked me to break up with her fiance. With my fiance,
I felt like crap because I never wanted to cheat
on my fiance, and for the next few weeks, I
avoided my ex wife and ignore her calls. She popped
back up in my classroom a week ago and I
asked her to leave. She blurted out that she's pregnant

(02:08):
and it's my child. Then she said, we need to
get our family back together for the baby's sake. This
woman cheated on me and broke my heart, and I
made a big mistake by having sex with her. I'm
a great father, so I want to do what's right.
I always thought when a man finds a wife, he
finds a good thing, but not in this case. What

(02:28):
am I supposed to do now? Please help? Well, she
wants you to leave your fiance, but has she left
her husband the track coach. All right, you didn't mention
the timeline here, but this sounds like it kind of
happened really fast. From the time you caught her cheating,
it's been NonStop craziness. At least the coach had sense

(02:51):
enough to move on to another school, and with his
all the way wrong self, let's just say that all
the way wrong. The other thing is, I wouldn't believe
a word, not a word that came out of your
ex wife's mouth about being pregnant. I just wouldn't believe it.
Without any receipts. She'd have to show me something. She's
already proven herself to be a liar and the cheater

(03:13):
and a very untrustworthy person. She betrayed you, and she
did it with a teacher at the same school, the
track coach. Come on, now, she had no regard at
that time, no respect for you, the kids, none of that.
When it was going down. You know, the only way
to find out the truth is to get a DNA test.

(03:33):
But the thing is your fiance could find out about that,
and that could create more drama, more mess. Not to
mention you would hurt her deeply. I'm assuming you haven't
told her and she knows nothing right now. The question is, though,
do you still love your ex wife and do you
want to get back together with her? Deep down? You
haven't said one way or the other. And you got

(03:55):
to remember now, she cheated way below the belt on
you and broke up your family, the kids, everything. She
left you guys and went with this guy that she
cheated on you with. The thing is, maybe you will
be ready to forgive her one day, even if it's
just for the children's sake, But can you ever forget
what she did? I don't think so. I don't think

(04:16):
you're gonna be able to forget that. So I say
take some time to make your next move, and make
your next move be your best move, because you can
still be a great father if this truly is your baby,
even if you and your wife are no longer together.
She's trifling. You got to put that in there, your
trifling ex wife.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Steve, all right, this letter right here. I don't I
wouldn't even have to write the letter. If I were you,
I really wouldn't bro because this is a no brainer
for me. You're thirty six, you divorced, and you engaged
to be married. That's all that matters right now. Your
middle school teacher, you had two children by your first wife.

(04:56):
Your first wife was a teacher at to say school,
and you had to get a because you caught this
help for cheating on you in her car with the
track coach at our school. I don't know where the
car was parked, but wherever it was this track coach
dumb enough to get in this married woman's car. And

(05:22):
then after the scandal, he transferred to a high school
that was to avoid the ass whipping, and my ex
wife married him. Then you say it was hell to
have to work with her after she moved on with
the guys she cheated on with you, That's okay.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
I got these as all the facts.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Then one day she came your classroom, begged you for
a minute to talk. Started she started crying. I asked
you for forgiveness, but I wasn't ready to forgive her.
She grabbed me and started kissing on me, and all
the feelings I had for her came back. We had
sex in the storage closet in my classroom. I didn't
use protection. It all happened so quickly, and she's been
very aggressive after it all happened, and then said she

(06:03):
wanted to get her family back together and asked me
to break up with my fiance.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
That ain't happening. Please go break up with your fiance.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
For what?

Speaker 3 (06:13):
You forgot? What this hefa did?

Speaker 2 (06:16):
So what?

Speaker 3 (06:17):
You had sex in the clause and she was in
there too, and you got caught up, So what forget
about it?

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Write it off and now have the lie that you
need to produce to continue with your life. Right after this, Oh,
there is a lie involved here, surprise.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
All right, we'll have part too of Steve's responds coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour, subject he
who finds a wife? Will get back into it right
after this. You're listening hard Morning show. All right, Come on, Steve,
let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is he who
finds a wife?

Speaker 2 (07:02):
This letter right here is kind of ridiculous, but I'm
gonna try to work with these young man thirty six
year old divorced man engaged to be married he's a middle.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
School teacher, got two children.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
By his first marriage, and his first wife was a
teacher at the same school. They got a divorce because
he caught her cheating on him in her car with
the track coach at day school.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
First of all, in the car is low. That's low. Wow.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
After the scandal, he transferred to a high school and
my ex wife married him. What and then it was
hall I have to come to work with her after
she moved on with the guy that she cheated on
me with. She got a lot of guts, man, This
is a gutsy, low life chick right here. One day
she came to the classroom and begged me to give
her many talks. She started crying and asked me for forgiveness.

(07:48):
I was not ready to forgive her. She grabbed me
and started kissing on me, and all the feelings I
had for her cane back. We had sex in the
storage closet in my classroom. I ain't used prediction. It
happened so quickly. She was being very good. After the sex,
she said she wanted to get her family back together,
and she asked me to break up with my fiance. Wait,
wait a minute, where where this come from Wait a minute,

(08:11):
you done came in here. You ain't gave us a timeline,
but she didne got married. She wanted to get her
family back together, so she comes in here to have
sex with her ex husband that has a fiance. So
obviously both of you all had moved on with your life.
I felt like crap because I never wanted to cheat
on my fiance. Okay, bruh, it happened. Spured a moment.

(08:32):
Shut your down mouth now. For the next few weeks,
I avoided my ex wife and ignored her calls. She
popped back up in my classroom a week ago. I
asked her to leave. She blurted out that she's pregnant
and it's my child. Ignore that, Oh okay, ignore that.
That's bull crap. She's pregnant by the coach. She's decided

(08:57):
that she want her family back cause her and the
coach ain't working out. She saw that you a better man,
so now she's devised this scheme to get you back.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
She came in there to have sex with you.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
This was not a she planning this, And now she
come down, I'm pregnant and it's your child.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
No it ain't.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Then she said we need to get our family back
together for the baby's sake.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
What baby? What baby?

Speaker 2 (09:26):
And where her husband and all this? Like Shirley said,
where's her husband and all this? Do he know she
went in there and had sex with you in the closet.
But I'm gonna tell you what I think is gonna
happen right here in a second, Hold on, this woman
cheated on me, broke my heart. I made a big
mistake my having sex with her. I'm a great father,

(09:46):
so I want to do what's right. What the hell
does being a great father have to do with any
of this? Any of it talking about we need to
get back together for the baby's sake. For the baby's sake,
dug First of all, you don't know that she's pregnant. Secondly,
you don't know if it's your baby. Thirdly, this sounds

(10:10):
like a scam to me. So now I'm a great
father and I want to do the right thing. I
always thought when a man finds a wife, he finds
a good thing.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
But not in this case.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Your good thing could be your second one or your
third one.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
You don't know what am I supposed to do?

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Now? Please help? First of all, call her bluff. Don't
tell your fiance. Say nothing, it never happened. If she
bring it up, call her a lie. It never happened.
We didn't have sex. I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
See.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Let her go into her home and tell this to
the track coach. See that's what see bruh. When a
person come to lay something on your dose, step in
your house, make sure they got that same information going
back to they dose at they house. Let her go
tell track coach, who then transferred married her. Let her

(11:08):
go in there and tell him I that had sex
with my ex husband and it's him. But you know
why she hasn't told the track coach any of this
because she got to wait and see on you see
what your move gonna be. See all this is predicated
on your reaction. If you say, yeah, let's get our
family back together, then she gonna go in there with
track coach and tell him she cheated on it. But

(11:29):
she playing a dangerous game. Don't do this dog. Tell
her having sex with you is the biggest mistake. I
don't believe it's my baby. I'm going on with my
life and you should do the same with yours. Tail
track coach, I say what's happening, and if he come
up in my face, he getting that ass whip and
he should have gotten in the first place. And as
far as me and you go, that ain't about nothing

(11:52):
we're doing. Thanks for the hot shot in the closet,
but it's over the hot shot, that little hot shot
we had in the closet. Appreciate you, but that's that
was a mistake. And my other mistake was thinking you
was the wife of my dreams. Now you take all
this trickery and laid it on the doorstep of the

(12:14):
track coach. And I'm telling you right now I'm not
marrying you. I'm moving on with my life. Well, I'm
gonna tell your fiance we had sex, No we didn't.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
Her word against ain't.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
No baby and dog and when you had a baby, now,
paternity tests and it may prove that it's to track coaches.

Speaker 3 (12:33):
And if it proved that it's yours, then we'll deal
with it then. But you don't need her as no wife.
She wighed too tricky.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
Man. And y'all always talking about men wants to Cheatah?
Always a Cheatah? Who is this chick? Oh? I say?
Shall talk about men? Always a Cheatah? Wants a Cheatah
what about this trick? You n and the church to
got quiet now?

Speaker 1 (12:57):
Oh post amends on Today's Strawberry That Steve Harvey FM
and Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast
on demand. You're listening to Dave Harvey Morning Show.
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