Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
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Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Subject I love him but dot dot dot Dear Stephen Shirley,
I'm a thirty year old professional woman dating a man
that just got a divorce. I met him while he
was still married, but we didn't go out until he
moved out of his home. He was still married but
legally separated. On our first date, his wife followed him
(00:47):
and she made a big scene in public, calling me
all kinds of names. He cursed her out so badly
that I was ashamed for her and scared of him.
I knew in the back of my mind that she
would be a problem and he might one day curse
me out like that if he got mad enough at me.
But I kept on dating him when he got a divorce.
(01:09):
He opened up about how he cheated on his wife
twice and she caught him both times. He told me
that he'd gotten that out of his system, and since
he has a good woman in parentheses me, he didn't
have a reason to cheat. He's a great lover and
provider and he's cultured. He asked me to marry him
(01:31):
on a Sunday in front of my mother and I
said yes. By that Wednesday, I found out he might
have another woman that he was sleeping with, and she
said he told her he wants a future with her.
I told her that I'm engaged to him, and she
was surprised. I called him at work and he said
he wanted to talk face to face.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
So he picked me.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Up from work and we drove an hour to the
lake and he had snacks and wine in the car.
He told me that the lady was lying and he
thought I was smarter than that. We made love on
a blanket by the lake, and my heart said that
this was my husband. It was the most romantic day ever.
My heart flutters around him, but I don't think I
(02:17):
know him well enough to marry him. Our wedding is
in June, and I love him, but dot dot dot
I need more time. Are most people uncertain before the wedding? Well,
a lot are. I won't say most, but a lot
of people are, Yeah, uncertain before the wedding. But you
should be pretty certain though. Haven't you heard the saying
(02:38):
when people show you who they are, believe them. I mean,
this man has shown you what he's capable of. You
even said you were afraid of him after he cursed
his wife out like that, but you still didn't break
it off with him. You said he's a good lover. No,
you said he was a great lover and provider. You know,
those are wonderful qualities in a man, to be a
(03:00):
great lover, great provider, all of that. But did you
forget did you forget that he cheated on his wife twice?
And then that's why they're getting a divorce. Okay, So
whatever you do, you got to get to know this man.
You got to continue that. You may find out other
things that he does. The real hymn is going to
(03:21):
eventually show up. I mean, you know, I get them
the lake and sex by the lake, and the fruit
and the wine and the snacks and all of that,
but you got to listen to your gut. You obviously
can't forget how he acted when he was angry at
his first wife, and you're wondering if one day maybe
he could do.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
That to you.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Well, he certainly has a capacity for it now, doesn't he.
So I suggest to you, guys, go to marriage counseling
before getting married, even you know, if you even are
still considering taking that step. You guys need some kind
of understanding, some kind of guidance. Marriage is one of
the biggest things you can do in life, so you
(04:00):
need to do whatever you can to protect yourself. Tell
him you want to go to marriage counseling first and
see how that goes.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Steve, you know what, I happen to agree with everything
Shirley said.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I do, lady. I just want to add this one thing.
I love him.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
But okay, you know, my father, you tell me all
the time if when you say butt indicates everything you
said in front of that. So when you're talking to
me and you say butt, boy just noted whatever you
said before, don't even apply no more.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
And that's the case right here.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
But this is a case of intuition, and God gives
intuition to women to protect you from the hunter, which
is us.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
See, we have hunting skills.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
You have intuition, which that which is your safeguard against us.
But y'all keep ignoring the intuition because you want to
believe eve your heart instead of your mind. And that's
where the problem starts. You're thirty year old professional. You're
dating a man that just got a divorce. He was
(05:11):
still married. When you get mad, y'all, ain't go out
till he moved out of his house. He was still
married but legally separated. On your first date, his wife
followed him, and she made a huge scene in Pulley,
called you all kind of name. He cuts out so bad.
You felt bad for her, and you were scared of him.
(05:31):
And then you knew in the back of your mind.
See here we go, the mind. Now the mind. The
mind is where the intuition resides. Heart is it gets
you in trouble. Your mind is where that I knew
in the back of my mind she would be a problem,
and he might one day cuss me out like that
if he got mad enough of me. When we come back.
(05:52):
That has set the tone for the rest of my answer.
All right, I understand what I'm going right.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
We'll have part two of Steve's response coming up a
twenty three minutes after the hour of Today's Strawberry Letter
subject I love him, but dot dot dott. We'll get
back into it right after this.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
It'ster Steve Harbin Marley show Man.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
It might be two birds in that bush, but if
you let this bird go to reach in there for
the two in the bush and they fly out the bush,
you ain't got nothing. A bird in the hand is
worth two in the bush.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
But if it's two and that I having to catch both,
wouldn't that be better?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
See keyword in there was a small word with the smaller,
the smallest words with the biggest consequences. If if I
rob this bank and if they don't catch me, I'm
gonna be rich man.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Okay, a whole lot of ifs sitting in prison today.
Steve Harby Morning Show coming up.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Right after that.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
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Speaker 1 (07:22):
All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's Strawberry letter,
the subject I love him butt dot dot dot.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Well, here we go, perfect case of a woman following
her heart and ignoring her intuition. Your intuition is in
your mind. Your heart is filled with nothing but emotions.
Your heart hurts, your heart bleeds, your heart loves, your
heart breaks. All that your mind just thinks, and that's
(07:49):
where your intuition is. Stop ignoring it. Ladies, you're thirty
year old woman dating the man got a divorce. You
made him while he was married, but you all didn't
go out until he moved out the house. He was
still married but legally second separated. Y'all went out on
your first date. His wife followed. Y'all made a huge scene,
called him all kinds of names. He cussed out. He
(08:11):
cuts out so bad. You was ashamed for her, but
you was scared of him. Then here we go. I
knew in the back of my mind that she would
be a problem and he might one day cuss me
out like that if he got mad enough at me.
Now you knew this in the back of your mind,
that's where your intuition resides.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
But I kept on dating.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
When he got a divorce, he opened up about how
he had cheated on his wife twice and she caught
him both times.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
This dude, this dude can't cheat.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
He cheated on his wife twice, she caught him both times.
Y'all went on one date, she caught y'all. Then this
dude's track record for getting caught. He you dating somebody
real stupid. Now, I just want you to know that.
You know, he told me that he got that out
(09:05):
of his system since he has a good woman and
he didn't have a reason to treat cheap. Now here
you go. He's a good lover and provider and he's cultured.
But he's stupid though. See that's the part you're leaving up.
He's a great lover, provider, he's cultured, and he's stupid.
He asked me to marry him on Sunday in front
(09:27):
of my mama, and I said yes.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Now it's Sunday. Now by that.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Wednesday, three days I found out he might have another
woman that he was sleeping with.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
And she said he told her that he wants the
future with her.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Wait a minute, his wife busted him twice, y'all went
on one.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Date she busted y'all, he asked you.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
To marry him on Sunday on Wednesday, you done busted
it again. How dumb is this man? Right here? You're
dating somebody that's stupid man. He can't cover tracks. He
might be a good provider and he might be a
good lover, but he's not a good protector. See, you
(10:17):
don't know how to protect a woman's feelings. He not
gonna guard your heart because he reckless.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
He's stupid. She said.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
He told her he wants a future with her. I
told her, I'm engaged to him. She was surprised, Really,
y'all engaged. I called him at work and he said
he wanted to talk face to face. See see that
face to face. That gave him time to get itself together.
So he picked you up from work and we drove
(10:46):
an hour or two a lake and he had some
snacks and wine in the car. Well, ain't that a
good thing. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm gonna go fix
her all this busting me. I'm gonna get me some
crackers and some wine. Don't get some cheese cheese blocks
and cut him up. Don't get me a blank. I'm
gonna talk to her down here by this lake. Yeah,
(11:10):
good thing. He bought them snacks. He told me that
the lady was lying, and he thought I was smarter
than that. Wait a minute, if the lady lined, how
did you find the lake? What you just you mean
to tell me that you pulled a woman's name out
of thin air and called her and she just happened
(11:32):
to know who he was. No, he told you the
lady was lying, and he thought I was smarter than that.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
You are smarter, you.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Found out Wednesday, right after he asked you to marry him.
Sunday we made love on a blanket by the lake,
and my heart said, this is my hood, and he go,
you can you go there? That's around with your heart.
Here your heart go, ladies, here you go. Heart told
me this is my husband. Your brain just had you
(12:03):
call a woman out a note where and bingo, she
was having a.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Future with the dude too.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
So now there's really three chicks that his wife he
was cheating on. You busted him with one, and the
wife then busted him with the two he cheated on.
And y'all on your first date. Now dump is back
at it again getting busted. We made love on the
blanket body lake, and my heart said, this is my hubs.
(12:32):
It was the most romantic day ever. You need to
have some more days. Then, how is this the most
romantic day ever? On the day that you found out
he was sleeping with somebody else, this is the most
romantic day.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
You need to hear him. Have some more days. Our
wedding is in June.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
My heart flutters around him, but I don't know him
well enough to marry him. Our wedding is in June,
and I love him, but I need more time.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Why don't you take more time and nothing to say?
You got to get married in June?
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Call it off so you can find out what you
really got and you might find out a whole lot more.
Are most people uncertain? Before the wind? What is you
wearing about most people? For you wrote the letter you
are you are concerned and you need to be and
you need to call this wedding off and get yourself
(13:27):
together until you notice man.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Better post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. Thank you, Steve.
It's Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check
out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up
at forty six minutes after the hour, it's Junior with
sports talk and we'll get into that right after this.
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.