Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for my Strawberry Letter. For it today,
and if you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter at STEVEVARVEFM dot
com by clicking Strawberry Letter Submit Strawberry Letter. We could
be reading your letter live on the air, just like
we're going to read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You never know. It could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type
guide it for you. Here. It is Strawberry letter.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
All right, if you thank you. Subject. I married a
flirtatious man. Dear Stephen Shirley. I met a man online
and we got married three years ago. He is a
dispatcher by day and a DJ at night. I'm thirty
seven and he's thirty. When we met, he was trying
to find a career that suits his personality. He told
(00:51):
me he was djaying to network and meet people that
could potentially hire him. When I met his mother, she
said to watch out for him because he DJs to
flirt with women. I assumed she was a hater until
I saw it for myself. He is reserved in real life,
but he's outgoing in a dancing machine. When he's djaying.
(01:11):
I saw it the night he asked me to marry
him at the club. He did it on the mic.
He called me to the DJ booth and all eyes
were on us. We were featured on the news and
in the newspaper for having such a unique marriage proposal.
You would think that women would not flirt with him
after that, but it made him more popular. He has
(01:34):
been djaying every weekend since we got married. I tried
to put my foot down, but he said it is
who he is and he loves it. So I decided
to sneak into one of the clubs to see what
kind of networking he's doing with my own eyes.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I saw my husband.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Give out single roses to beautiful women and give shouts
out to women that looked like Instagram models. I saw
at least six women go to the DJ booth to
hug him, and he kid kissed each one of them
on the cheek. My cousin was with me, and she
looked at me and said that I married a very
flirtatious man. She's right. We snuck out when everyone started leaving.
(02:11):
I expected him to come home right after me, but
he came in almost two hours later. He seems to
be quote networking after the club too. Is it cool
to tell him what I saw or what I look?
Very insecure? Don't worry about looking insecure. This is not
about that. And don't be afraid to ask your husband
(02:33):
or tell him anything. He's your husband. Your marriage is
hanging on by a thread right now because he's too
full of himself with all the attention he's getting from
the ladies.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
You've already seen him with.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Your own eyes what he's up to with the ladies,
with the flowers and the kisses and all that. I mean,
you've already seen that, So ask him about that, but
be prepared. He's only gonna, you know, probably lie and say,
oh no, baby, you know what, this goes.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
With the job, whatever whatever.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
But anyway, the good part about this is that he
found a career that suits him, like you say. The
bad part about this is that he found a career
he loves and that it suits his personality. The problem
is his career doesn't suit you. As his wife. You
don't like it. You don't like it, you don't like
him being married to you and doing.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
What he loves.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
But you're torn because of course, you want him to
do what he loves. But I'm surprised he's big. He
can't fit in the it can still fit in the
DJ booth. Coming home two hours after the club is
closed is not cool. You gotta talk to him about this.
He's not considering you at all or caring about how
you feel. He's caught up in all of this, and
(03:47):
you need to sit down and talk to him about this.
It might bring him back to his senses, but who knows.
With mister DJ Steve.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
You know, ladies, you're allowing a to treat you some
kind of way. Now, listen, you can train a man
how to treat you simply by one simple thing and
it's nothing that's extraordinary or elaborate or you gotta be
bold and sassy with it all aggressive. All you have
(04:18):
to do is stop allowing bad treatment. You don't have
to allow a person to treat you badly. You don't
have to accept bad treatment simply because that's what he
want to do. That's his dream. This is me, man,
what all right? I'm gonna walk you through this thing
(04:42):
because you've been bamboozled and I'm gonna show it to you.
You met a man online, we got married three years ago.
He's a dispatcher by day and he's a DJ at night.
You thirty seventy thirty. That's a big jump between men
and women. I'm just gonna tell you that that seven
year age difference at that age for a woman, Eh,
(05:06):
it's tricky. Naturally women mature quicker than men. That's a
known fact.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
That's not a Steve Harvey opinion.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
So if you thirty seven and he thirty, and then
he doesn't have the thing together that I described in
my first book, act like a lady, think like a man.
When I told you, until a man determines who he is,
what he is, and how much he gonna make, you're
gonna be in a struggle with him unless he has decided.
You are to help me to get him there. And
(05:38):
this guy right here don't have it together. So now
you're finna get in the straining. He told me he
was DJing, He was a DJ at night right and
then when he met he was trying to find this
is critical, trying to find a career that suits his personality.
Trying to find a career that suits his personality. That's
(06:03):
so because and he was using DJing to network and
meet those people who I'm assuming he led you to
believe that would help him find a career that suits
his personality, because he said and meet people that could
potentially hire him. That's what the dj in we told
(06:28):
you was for that right, There is nothing but a
lie you got right at the beginning of the of
the marriage.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Sorry, hang on, We'll have a part two of your
response coming up, Steve at twenty three minutes after the
hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject I married a flirtatious man.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
We'll get back into it right after this.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
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All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is a married, a flirtatious man.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
See this is really sad because this is a woman
who got bamboozel because she didn't have the ability to
read between the lines and pay attention closely to what
he's saying. You know, ladies, if you listen to a
man closely, he will tell you what he's saying.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
All you gotta do is listen. All right, You thirty seven,
he thirty.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
That's a big age difference between men and women, especially
when the man is that young. Thirty you still a
young man. You're a man, but you're still a young man.
You got a ways to go. And then he doesn't
have it together yet. He doesn't know who he is,
what he does, and how much he gonna make. Once
you have a man that don't know those three things,
that don't have a plan of attack.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
If you sign up for that, get ready, get ready.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Unless you are the person who is designated to be
a helper to him and he be a helper to you.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
That's not the case during the daytime.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
He's a dispatch, but he DJ's at night.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Now he told me that he's dj in.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
First of all, when y'all met, he said he was
gonna find a career that suits his personality. And he
told me that he was dj in to network and
meet people that could potentially hire him, which means he
was looking for a specific kind of work and he
thought that he would meet the people at the club
that could hire him. Well, that's crazy, So that's what
(09:05):
he said. He was DJing for it just to network
and meet people who could hire him. Then you met
his mama. She told you to watch out because he
DJ's the first flirt with women. I'm assuming she was
a hater. Where you get hate from, that's called a warning.
It was baby, baby, you seem like a nice girl.
Now be careful because he dj' to flirt with women.
(09:28):
So I had to go see it for myself. He's
reserving in real life, but he's outgoing dancing machine with
he's djils. I saw it the night he asked me
to marry him. You saw it before that you ain't
paying no attention. He got real public because he brought
you up into the booth and asked.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
You to marry you. You always on the news because it
was unique marriage for both.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
You would think that women would not flirt with him
after that, but it made him more popular. Yeah, you
know why because now they saw he was to marrying kind.
Most people don't meet their husband in the club. Most
people don't meet they wife the club. It can happen,
but that ain't how most people.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Meet they wife.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
But anyway, okay, it was unique, and he been djailed
ever since y'all got married. I tried to put my
foot down, but he said, it's who he is and
he loves it way. I thought he was trying to
find a job that suits his personality, and he was
djiling to meet people who would hire hilp who go
(10:29):
to the club to hobby?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
What job recruiter?
Speaker 4 (10:33):
You know, I'm going down to get some qualified people
to help advance a company that I'm with him. I
think I'll go down to Magic City, see what's going
on in there.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Ain't nobody recruited.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Job recruiters don't look for job appricants at clubs, all right,
So what he did was I tried to put my
foot down.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
He said, that's who he is.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
So you snuck into the club one night to see
what kind of network he was doing with my own eyes.
Saw your husband giving out single roses to women, giving
shout outs to women that look like Instagram models. I
saw all these six women go to the DJ booth
to hugg him.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
He kissed each one of them on the cheek.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
My cousin was with me, and she looked at me
and said, you married to a very flactationous man.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
She's right. I don't know why you needed your cousin
cousin at the club tell you that. But okay, we.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Snuck out when everybody started leaving. I expecting him to
come home right after me. He came home in almost
two hours later. He seems to be networking after the
club too.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Is it cool to tell him.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
What I saw or what I looked very insecure? Well,
you're not gonna look very insecure. You are insecure, and
you have a reason to be insecure. I don't know
what it is with y'all new women, but let me
talk to you for me.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Let me uncle have a word with y'all new women.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Y'all got y'all letting these new rules come in, and
y'all getting the bad end of the short end of
the stick man, y'all not getting nothing y'all wing out
of these relationships, but they getting everything.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
You know.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
It's like, I love watching that show on the internet,
Pop my balloon. I love watching that collection. It'll be
some ignorant mess on that and then I like that show.
It's a relationship show where the black chick named Kitty,
attractive girl spiritual, the name is Kitty, and the.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Two other guys up there, they give advice and these.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Young people come in this relationship and raise their hands
and ask questions. She always got a scripture or reason
for doing stuff. Real nice show like that, But y'all
got some stuff going on now. I don't know how
y'all leted me and flip the script on y'all. Y'all
got these men talking to y'all like y'all own them something.
(12:57):
So you done got to y'all in the y'all in
the time period. Now, why you if you act like
a man should provide for you, he's offended.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
They offend it now.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
But then y'all going into it like if you want
my number, here's my cash app and all this here.
Y'all got to these relationships to transaction. Y'all need, y'all
need to get back, you know, love, Love ain't gonna
go out of style.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I hate to tell y'all that it's still in style.
Love is in style. It works.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Why don't y'all try finding that instead of a transaction.
That's all I got to say, Uncle, Steve, you' signing
out on this one right here?
Speaker 1 (13:36):
All right, Steve, Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter
on Instagram and Facebook at STEVEARBFM dot com, and check
us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on a free
iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Coming up next to the Sports Talk with Junior.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning
Show